All language subtitles for Still Standing s02e03 In School

Shut up. You shut up. No, you shut up.
Both of you shut the hell up.

Where'd they learn to talk like that?

Mom, I want my own room. Sure thing,
sweetie.

Really? Yeah.

Besides, it'll kind of be a relief to
finally pull that extra wing of the

out of my butt.

Why don't we just buy a new house?

Judy, roll up your sleeves. You're going
to have to get the million bucks out,

too.

How come Brian gets his own room?

Because I'm a man.

Then how come you still sleep with a
stuffed rabbit?

You sleep with a pillow named Dawson.

She kisses it, too.

You shut up.

You shut up.

Both of you shut up. I have an
announcement to make that'll take care

this.

Your mom and I are going to start making
out in five, four, three, two... It

works every time.

I'm feeling in love with you today
because you make me happy.

If your book is vile, who's that cute
skinny guy standing with Mom?

Oh, that's your father.

What happened?

Hey, cut me some slack. I've had three
kids.

Hey, guys.

You almost ready?

I want to get to the reunion early
enough so that people don't see me

out of Bill's car.

I got an idea. Why don't you just drive
there with your husband?

Because I graduated early, honey. I was
an accelerated learner.

Yeah, you see her here with the glasses,
the acne, the bad perm.

Not a lot of pesky dates to get in the
way of studying.

Hey, Linda, stop your coat. Let me see
what you're wearing. Oh, no, it's no big

deal. Well, let me see.

Wow, I'm pretty sure those two didn't go
to high school with us.

You have to know I'm wearing a water
bra.

What's a water bra?

It's a very cruel trick, son.

You two go eat your dinner before your
father opens his mouth and more words

come out. Now, when you're at the
reunion, remember, you don't have to

be cool.

Yes, we do. Have you ever seen your
father dance?

Wait a minute. I know what those are
about. Steve Upton.

What? You still have the...

for years. Just because we dated for
three weeks, he made me feel special

to go to that extra base, and then the
next day dropped me like a $5 whore.

Way to let things go.

Yeah, I just want to look my best. I
mean, it's not just because of Steve.

know, the perfect girls are going to be
there. Carla Russell, Jane Hamilton.

Oh, let's not forget Christy Duncan.
Linda, why are you worried about them?

because they were perfect in high school
doesn't mean they're perfect now.

Everybody has their time.

Yeah, right. Trust me.

People like Christy Duncan peak early.
Life has a way of evening things out.

You think about these things way too
much.

It's different for guys at a reunion.
It's not about who's successful or who

still looks good.

What really matters is who has the
hottest wife.

I wouldn't kill you to open the upstairs
shades a little. I sell toilets, for

God's sakes.

This really takes me back.

Remember when we had our junior prom
here?

Yeah. You know, you still owe me a
little something from that prom.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

$37 .50 for half the limo.

Well, I think you got a little more than
$37 .50 worth of love in that night.

Yeah, at a buck a second. That'd be
about right.

Hey, hey, you know, when you have
breasts like these, you don't have to

drinks. The drinks are free.

Have you spotted Steve Upton yet? No,
no, he's not here. Oh, maybe it's

he's well. Now you can relax.

You're right. I don't even want to see
him. I don't even care.

Oh, my God, there he is.

Are my boobs even?

Judy, Judy, look, there's Jerry Bergner.
Oh, great.

B .O. Bergner.

I sat behind him in chemistry. He raised
his hand a lot.

I hate that guy.

Before he transferred to our school, I
was the hot dog -eating champion.

And suddenly, I was just another guy who
could eat 32 hot dogs in one sitting.

Excuse me, I have some unfinished
business to attend to.

Milly!

Bergner!

So, now that we've caught up, I, uh... I
hear the pancake breakfast tomorrow is

all you can eat. All you can eat?

Or all I can eat?

Do I smell a challenge, or did you just
raise your hand?

The only thing I smell around here is
chicken.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I got 50 bucks and an elastic
waistband that says I can eat more

than you. Bring it on!

You know, I do smell chicken. You want
to try and find it? Sure.

Judy Michael?

Christy Duncan.

You look great!

Thanks. Wow, you remember me? Of course
I do. Why wouldn't I? Well, it's that we

didn't hang out. I mean, you were
always... cool kid that I wasn't exactly

of that crowd.

Oh, except for the time that I brought
the vodka watermelon to school. Oh,

Didn't you also bring the rum pineapple
to school?

I drank a lot of fruit back then.

So what have you been up to? Not much.

Oh, remember the guy at graduation who
mooned everyone when he went up to get

his diploma?

Yeah, what happened to that idiot?

I married him.

Good for you.

Still with him? Yep, three kids. Me too.

You know what? This is so great.

to hang out and get to know each other.
Not like in high school.

We were more concerned about who was
more popular or who hung out with who.

Yeah, that was so stupid.

I mean, look at us. Here we are now.
Just a couple of working moms.

Natalie, so how are you paying the
bills?

I'm an architect.

Just finished designing an airport in
Hong Kong.

How about you?

I'm a dental assistant.

Oh, you clean teeth.

No, I help the person who cleans teeth,
which is a pretty big job because, you

know, the dentist can't pull any teeth
unless he can find his goggles, and

that's where I come in.

It's a reunion.

Yeah, that's right.

God, we graduated together. I'd
completely forgotten.

Come on, we did a lot more than graduate
together. We went out.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I vaguely remember that.

You know, I can't remember for the life
of me why we broke up.

Gosh, neither can I.

So I guess technically we haven't.

Well, I guess, you know, that's assuming
that after 20 years I'm still

available. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't
mean... I'm available.

I mean, you know, just...

He's the kid. Oh, they're adorable.

Where was that taken? Oh, that was in
Paris.

We spent the summer there while I was
building this opera house.

Um, here we are in Italy.

Have you ever been?

No, we're more water park people.

We only went there because my husband
was shooting some idiotic commercial.

Oh, here's my husband now. Oh, my God,
Judy, do you know what this guy does?

He directed my favorite beer commercial.

Dude, this is my husband, Trent. Trent,
Judy Miller.

Very nice to meet you. Hi. So, Bill,
it's so great to see you. How you doing?

Judy, they've got a whole bunch of
shrimp here. Did you bring your big

Bill, we don't need to take home food.
We can afford our own shrimp.

If you didn't bring the big purse, just
tell me.

So, Bill, what do you do for a living?
Build and sale. Oh, what do you do?

Designer fixtures.

Mostly toilets.

Hey. You sell beer, I sell toilets.
Between the two of us, we got them

and going.

I can't believe your sister went home
with Steve Upton.

Wait till he finds out second base is
underwater.

Whatever, I'm glad it's over.

So, what do you say we do it like it's
1982?

No, I'm tired.

So sleep, I'll be quiet.

Good night, Bill.

Is that a yes?

No.

All right. We could have been done
already.

Can you believe that stupid Christy
Duncan?

She seemed nice.

Nice? I build airports.

I build airports.

What's so big about that?

Well, they are airports. I mean, what's
bigger than that?

Besides her fat ass.

Maybe I shouldn't let it bother me.

Everything she wants.

I thought you weren't going to let all
this reunion stuff get to you.

I know, but if your life is perfect in
high school, it's not supposed to be

perfect now.

Judy, forget about Christy.

You're gorgeous, you're smart, you've
got a great life.

Well, I haven't exactly lit the world on
fire.

Who cares if Christy builds their ports?

You have a great marriage, three
wonderful kids, and a beautiful house

paid for the minute I die.

Get some sleep. We got a big day
tomorrow.

You know what, Bill? I don't want to go
to the pancake breakfast.

I've had enough reunions.

Okay, now you're taking the thing way
too seriously.

You've got to go to the breakfast. I've
got a title to defend.

I'm just not up for one more
conversation with Christy Duncan while

standing there in her designer outfit
with her perfect family. And I'm

there with my discount dress and the
pancake king.

No offense.

No, I get it.

What if I told you that Christy's life
isn't as perfect as you think?

What do you mean?

Well, you can't tell anybody this, but I
was in the bathroom. I overheard her

husband on the phone. I think he's
having an affair.

Really? Oh, you must have been mistaken.
He was talking to a woman and said he

really had to see her if he could get
away.

Well, he could have been talking to
anyone. He could have been talking to

mother. Well, then he told his mother to
wear a sexy blue thong.

Either way, he's got problems.

Wow, our husband's having an affair.

This is so great! I knew it wasn't her
time!

Poor stupid Christy, her life's a mess!

Cackle? Yeah.

So you still want to fool around?

I don't know. I've never done it with
evil, Judy.

I'll go easy on you.

Please don't.

This is your reunion. I don't know why I
have to be... Because, honey, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

What? You're staying. Do the words
really matter anymore?

So while I'm here, I wonder if I can
maybe sneak into the library and do a

little research for my science reform?
Keep it down, son. There's people here

that still think I'm cool.

I'm gonna go look for Linda. You keep an
eye on Tina.

Fine.

Tina, do something for Daddy.

Take this fork and poke people in the
legs till you get me a spot at the front

of the pancake line. Okay.

These plates, really hot.

Very.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Hey. Hey, guess what?

Christy Duncan's husband is having an
affair. Everyone's talking about it.

What?

So what happened last night?

Yeah, a lady doesn't kiss and tell.

Honey, a lady doesn't wear last night's
cocktail dress to a pancake breakfast.

things i want in a guy checklist dave
had all of them and number seven was

checked three times judy can i talk to
you did you tell

anyone what i told you last night about
christy duncan no no one well terry

bolder called this morning and asked me
if i was bringing the kids and i may

have let it slip but i told her not to
tell anyone oh good as long as you only

told big mouth bolder now everyone's
talking about it well i didn't think

say anything this is Terrible.

Then again, maybe it's just as well. You
know, if that jerk is cheating on her,

she's better off knowing about it. She
might not be better off. Why not, Bill?

Her husband's having an affair, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No.

What? I made it up. I can't believe you.
I didn't know what else to do. You were

feeling bad.

I feel bad a lot.

I lie a lot.

I can't believe you did this. I had to.
You were talking about...

You lied about a woman's husband
cheating on her just so you could get

I didn't just want pancakes.

I also wanted... Bill, you have to find
who's ever talking about this and tell

them it's not true, and I have to go
apologize to Christy. Why? She probably

hasn't even heard the rumor.

It doesn't matter. It's still out there.
We have to make this right. All right,

I'll do it, but I'm burning calories I
haven't even eaten yet.

You know what?

Later, let's go back to your place.
We'll light a fire, pour some wine, put

some Beatles. Oh, that sounds great.

Except something other than the Beatles.
I don't like them.

Well, whatever.

It'll just be you and me and number
seven.

What? Nothing.

So Christy Duncan's husband isn't having
an affair.

Guy, think about it. Christy's a
beautiful, intelligent woman. What's

likely? Her husband's actually cheating
on her or somebody at the reunion made

up the rumor because they were jealous?

Is that what you think happened?

Of course. It doesn't take a brain
surgeon to figure that out.

I am a brain surgeon.

Really? Let me ask you a medical
question. When you chug a milkshake, how

you get that pain in your head?

Let me ask you a medical question. Why
are you chugging milkshakes?

So what makes you so sure that someone
started the rumor? I know Christy's

husband. She doesn't have to worry about
him with other women. He's just not the

type. Oh, I get what you're saying.
Good, then pass it around.

steps up to the plate.

Hey, butter, butter, butter, butter,
butter, butter, butter.

Yo, Miller, you got some catching up to
do, 19 and counting.

Make it an even 20.

Hey, guess what?

Just overheard someone say Christy Dunn
gay.

Hey, Christy. Hi, Judy.

So I guess you've heard the rumor that's
floating around.

Yes, I have, and I know it's not true.
Well, of course you know it's not true.

You probably know that better than
anyone else here.

What? Why do you say that?

Because you know how petty people can be
when they think someone's life is

better than theirs. They're always
trying to drag people like us down.

Yeah, well, sometimes people... People
like us?

Yeah, you know, the people who have it
all together.

Yeah. So you think I have it all
together?

Of course. Your life is great.

I mean, you've been with Bill forever,
and you're obviously so happy together.

You look even better than you did in
high school, and you've got three kids

adore.

Are your kids here? Yeah, they're
somewhere.

So what else do you want to know about
me?

No.

There's just one thing.

You know when you said you didn't like
the Beatles?

Did you mean you just don't like them
or, you know, they're not your favorite?

No, I just don't like them.

Because you know they had, like, a
hundred hits.

Christy Cousin, not gay. Pack it on.

Plus, your skin looks so great. Do you
use something special on it?

Well, I've had a lot of baby food thrown
at my face.

You look great.

Your life is great. I'm so happy for
you.

Christy, I am so flattered that you
think my life is so great, but you know

what? I know who started the rumor, and
I feel really bad about it. Of course

you feel bad about it. You're a good
person.

Not like the jealous, petty loser who
started the rumor.

Who was it?

B .O. Burp.

Oh, yeah, I like that.

That's Billy freaking Joel!

Wait a minute.

Now I remember why we broke up.

You do?

Yeah, we were at that burger joint, and
I ordered my burger plain, you know,

because that's the way I like it. But
you wouldn't let it go. For the next two

days, you grilled me about condiments.

Well, I mean, come on, dry meat and
bread, who eats that?

I do.

Oh, come on, give me a break.

I mean, tell me there's more condiments
you'll catch.

You're crazy.

I gotta go.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. You
hate a hundred songs the world loves,

I'm crazy.

Yeah, so am I, psycho.

Hey, you.

Well, I stopped the affair, rumor.

Oh, it doesn't matter. I hear he's gay
anyway.

What's with you?

Nothing. I feel great.

You do?

Yeah, Chris. Duncan just spent a half
hour telling me how great my life is.

What did she say? Well, she thinks I
have a wonderful marriage and terrific

kids, and she went on and on about my
skin.

Now, let me get this straight. When
Christy Duncan says the exact same thing

told you last night, you feel all
better.

What's your problem?

The problem is when I say it, it should
mean something.

Oh, please. You just said those things
to shut me up. No, I didn't. I said them

because they're true.

Look around, Judy.

I had a shot with every woman in this
room.

In my mind.

But I chose you.

I still get a chill when I remember our
first time.

The way you looked into my eyes and said
those three magical words.

What the hell?

Do you really mean all that?

Of course I do.

Do you mean it, mean it, or just I want
pancakes, mean it?

Why can't it be both?

Man, that reunion sucked.

I actually ended up having a pretty good
time.

Oh, sure, you feel better about your
life.

By the time I got to the front of the
line, there were no more pancakes.

Hey, Bill, will you get me my keys out
of my purse?

Why do I have to do... Just do it.

Oh, pancakes.

And they're... still warm.

I love you.

Are you talking to me or the pancakes?

Why can't it be both?

I wouldn't have it any other way cause
you make me