All language subtitles for Starhyke s01e06 Lock, Choc And Flying Hogs

The Nemesis and her crew are still
trapped in the 21st century, and we are

searching for the Reptids. We must find
them and stop their device from being

activated. If we don't, the future will
change forever, and everyone on Earth

will face this battle to control these
annoying emotions.

As for the Nemesis, the crew is
beginning to cope a little bit better

affliction, but I still can't decide if
I prefer milk or dark.

Chocolate! I must try to regain some
kind of sanity, but they both taste so

good.

How our ancestors survived with all
these conflicting influences beats the

out of me.

Captain. Oh, Captain.

Belinda, wakey, wakey. It's 6 a .m. Rise
and shine.

My head.

Oh, man.

What happened last night?

Belinda, don't you remember?

Remember what, computer?

You and the crew decided to sample the
experiments that the doctor was

conducting.

Computer, whose hand is this?

It's Commander Croppen's, Captain.

What the hell happened?

I couldn't tell you, Commander.

Oh, crap.

Yeah, join the club.

You don't think we'd... No!

No, no, no. No way. No, no, no. Buddy
old pal.

No.

No.

Well, there it was.

Very, very serious affair, Commander.

This has got to remain completely and
utterly secret. You understand?

Definitely, Captain. Yeah.

Yeah.

I suppose a second round's out of the
question.

That couldn't hurt.

I think you'd better get dressed.

Yeah.

You and a few others decided to molly
port down to Earth and gatecrash a

Gatecrash?

What sort of party was this?

It was a place with young children
having a good time.

You stole a little boy's birthday cake,
his party hats, balloons and some of his

presents. You were shouting out, jelly,
jelly, up your bum.

But that doesn't even rhyme.

What have I done? That's not all.

You decided to start a fight with the
law enforcement officer of this time

period. You took his handcuffs and
played with his truncheon. Oh, no!

But wait, dearie. That's all the tame
stuff.

You then decided to mollyport into the
Tower of London, and wearing the

State crown, you proceeded to dance
around like a Dallas Cowboys

twirling the scepter like a baton.

It was then reported that you attempted
to sell the crown jewels on eBay.

Daphne? This is a level one priority.

What happened last night must be kept in
a secure database.

And not released until I say so.

Do you understand?

Yes, Sally.

Add another encrypted file to my memory
bank this morning.

Well, how many times have you done this
now today?

Not counting you, 26 times.

Well... Not the only one, but what made
us go so crazy?

Was it another reptid device?

I believe it was self -inflicted, Sally.

Something to do with Dr. Stryker.

Well, I hope he feels as bad as I do.

Good morning, Dottie. Captain.

Captain, good morning.

I was just discussing with Dottie the
current battle plans of the ship.

I see. And your friend?

Oh, they were helping me with my
physical training program.

Is that what we're calling it these
days?

Right. Carry on, ladies.

Yeah, I've been studying the reports of
the attack on that ship from the Bounty

Hunter Alliance, and also the ongoing
failures aboard our ship, and I really

think they're somehow connected.

You know what I mean?

And since you're the only one that seems
to be unaffected, I think that you

should go and try and find out if there
is a who or a what sabotaging this ship.

Understood, Captain.

I will commence immediately.

Great.

We have detected a faint signal located
on the far side of Mars.

Now what kind of signal?

A signal like a... And then repeats

itself.

Thank you for that, Dottie.

But what exactly does that mean?

We believe it could be a low quantum
pulse signature.

And you've just now noticed it?

Well, because you only asked me.

I mean us. To scan the surface of the
planet.

But we decided to conduct a further
search of the outlying solar systems,

that's when we heard the signal that
goes... Okay.

Great, Donnie. Listen, how long would it
take us to get to Mars undetected?

You know, if we jump into that area
using the quantum drive, then they're

to see quantum signatures, and they're
going to split before we even get there.

I don't want that.

Okay, that sounds about right.

Set course and speed, all right? And I
think I'm going to go down and see the

doctor.

Crawford, you've got the ship.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Donnie, if the captain comes back to the
bridge, wake me up.

Oh, I need to get some sleep.

I still can't believe what I did last
night.

What was that then, Woolf?

Well, we believe it to be some sort of
physical training program.

If Dave Banks served correctly, we
believe Woolf managed, um, one, two,

four, five, six, seven, eight positions
in the Book of Love.

Oh, really?

Doddy, if you don't shut up, I will rip
off your part number B457YT.

And shove it up your part number H
-34YTY.

Oh.

I see.

Fine. I shall just sit here in silence,
plug myself in,

and listen to the music of Mars.

Right. In that case, I'm going for a
walk.

You got the ship, Dottie?

Oh, yes.

Father. Father. Father.

Doctor.

Doctor.

Captain. Yes. I've just been finishing
off some rather unusual experiments with

my nurses. Mm -hmm.

How can I help? I need something for an
absolutely terrible headache.

We were a bit of a mad animal last
night, weren't we?

We didn't... Yes, yes, we did.

How many people were there?

Oh, men?

17? No, no, no. 21, including Reg.

Poor little fellow.

Great. You must be calling me Captain
Easy of the... Easy?

Well, I don't know what you did when you
left here, but my word, you can

certainly drink people under the table.

So you mean we didn't actually... You're
a fine drinker. No one has seen

anything like it before.

Here you go, Captain. Take two of these
and it'll be cleared up in five minutes.

Fabulous, darling. Thank you so much.

Doctor, just carry on carrying whatever
you were carrying.

Strange woman.

Oh, Nurse Beach, call Nurse Taylor
again.

Let's see if we can get any further with
these silicone implants.

They're just like yours, Nurse Beach.

Blue socks.

It's gone up his little leg.

I've got it.

I've got it. You silly cat.

It's the right size.

Oh.

There's three.

Reg, password 1234.

Override door now.

Oh.

Um, is everything all right, Captain?

No, everything is not all right.

That thing is in my chocolate machine.

It's the vermilion goober hog. It's
completely harmless. It's just confused.

I don't really care what it is.

I'm going to get cleaned and when I come
back it had better be gone. Do you

understand?

I think I'd better get to the bridge and
see where that pipe goes.

Chief. What now, Christian?

Listen, I know you know that I know that
we know.

You've been trying to find, you know,
someone that... Yes, and?

Well,

have you considered someone close to
you?

Someone you see every day. You know,
someone like Commander Cropper.

Yes, Christian.

You know I'd give anything just to get
five minutes with him between my...

Hello, Commander.

Chief, I found this outside engineering.

What is it?

Nothing to see here, Commander.

Anything else I can do you for?

Well, actually, I've got a couple of
hours to spend.

Really?

Yeah.

I promise you won't forget me.

Commander Cropper?

Cropper here.

Commander, meet me on the bridge.

Understood, Captain. On my way. I hope I
wasn't interrupting anything,

Commander. No, perfect timing.

He was here.

Now he's gone.

I've got to go and clear out the inter
-block sub -native.

Captain? Commander?

And, uh,

that, Commander, is what we call the
lactosuction death grip.

If it's applied correctly, it can bring
an enemy to its knees.

Is everything all right?

Something malfunction in the lift? No,
somebody... Dad, you know what? I don't

want to talk about it.

Excuse me.

What? Can I have the, um, uh... Speak
up, you silly man.

You weren't like this last night.

You mention that to anyone, and I will
personally rip off all your limbs and

mail them back to the future.

Are we clear?

Are we clear?

Yes, yes.

It never happened.

Good.

Now, what do you want?

Can you tell me where the food dispenser
outlet pipe in the captain's quarters

leads to?

It leads to section 41A waste system,
which branches into the main toilet

system. Thanks, Wolf.

Bye.

What happened with Red last night?

Nothing. He's a silly, confused little
man.

We know what happened.

Oh, yes, we do.

Oh, gave Reg a little hula dance while
shouting something like, oh, slap me,

baby, slap me silly.

I certainly did not do that.

I'm a warrior born into bread. I would
never lower myself to that level.

Oh, Tava.

looking from there did not look like
that. You're getting some good old love,

and you're getting on down.

Woo -hoo!

Bye -bye.

What? You miserable excuse for walking
10 feet.

Amanda!

Both of you.

Who?

Calm down.

Just breathe.

Are you all right?

No, we're not, Captain.

Ever since the hologram fiddled with our
connections between my human and cyborg

spider, we feel even more confused than
ever before.

Why don't you go see the doctor?

No.

We shall reboot some of our subsystems.

And, uh, we should be fine.

All righty.

How long before we reach Mars?

We should have visual contact within
minutes. Excellent.

Oof. Bring all weapon systems online.

All levels, prepare for battle stations.

Dottie?

Take us in. Aye, aye, Captain.

Now film up.

If anything should happen to me, light a
candle.

But not near a toilet.

Oh, Rachel!

Oh, get off me, little retard.

I've got lipstick all over me forehead.

Oh, come on.

Oh.

Oh.

Dabbing.

Captain, the main sensor has detected a
reptid mothership positioned on the far

side of the asteroid field between Mars
and Jupiter.

Take us in and keep a positive lock on
the mothership at all times.

Affirmative, Captain.

Ow.

Why do they always hit me in the rear?

Does my bum look big in this? Computer,
quiet.

Good pleasure.

Thank you.

Why isn't that ship moving?

It could be a trap, Captain.

I've counted surrounding areas. No other
ships are present.

Dottie, you said I, not we. Are you sure
you're okay?

Yes. We are functioning within normal
parameters.

We are within firing range.

Charging the main pulse cannon.

Do not fire. But, Captain!

No buts. I said do not fire.

Something's wrong.

Dottie, scan the ship.

The main engine is totally drained of
all power.

It seems that their time -slip drive has
fused their internal systems, Captain.

They're dead in space.

Try and contact them, Donnie. Yes,
Captain.

What should we do with them?

I think we should take them back to our
time to stand trial.

Incoming transmission.

I'm Captain Blowheart of the Dreadnought
Nemesis. Do you wish to surrender?

We will do as you demand, Captain.

Do not fire on us. We are defenseless. I
ask you for the sake of the families

aboard this vessel.

I have no intention of firing.

We're going to bring you back to 3034 to
stand trial for your crimes against

humanity.

You're not going to fire?

Are you deaf?

I want to know where the device is that
you planted on Earth.

The device you speak of, Captain, has
not been built yet.

We've set off a prototype weapon aboard
your ship, but plans to alter

neurological pathways on a planetary
scale have proved more difficult than we

first anticipated.

I expect all details of this device to
be transmitted to me immediately, so our

doctor can start working on a cure for
our condition.

There is no cure for you, Captain, or
your crew. You all now have heightened

emotions, more powerful than normal
human beings.

It's a slight side effect of detonating
the weapon whilst you were time

-sipping. You call this a slight side
effect?

No, Captain.

It's better.

So what made you come back to this time
period? We knew back in this time period

there is a rare element readily
available which we could use as a main

in our device.

This element is unrefined and useless in
this time period, and without our time

slip drive, we cannot get back to our
own time.

Captain, you promised you would not fire
on us.

Main pulse cannon has fired, Captain.

It wasn't me.

Captain, I beg you. We beg you. We beg
you with your compassion.

Move. Disconnect the pulse cannons.

Dolly, move us away.

The system is jammed.

Someone else is controlling it.

We cannot move the ship.

Engine system is non -responsive.
Computer, shut down all systems to the

pulse cannon.

Computer! Thank you for holding.

Your call is important to us.

You are currently 10th in the queue.

Sally, go down to the core immediately
and disconnect the computer.

Press 2 to return to the operator.

Press 3 if you would like to...
Commander, ready your casualties. My

staff will be standing by.

How can I trust you after this?

Captain, the pulse cannon is charging
again. No!

Dottie, scan for survivors.

We've been unable to locate any.

It seems they're all dead, Captain.

How many?

For a minimum crew on a ship like that?

Life pavilions, 2 ,365.

Maximum crew, 7 ,000 casualties.

All systems coming back, Captain.

Oof.

Go down and help Sally and the Corps.

Dottie, take us back to Earth and
prepare to time slip.

Commander, will you come with me,
please?

We have to assess the situation.

There was nothing you could have done.

How many more people are going to die by
my hand?

Ah, there you are.

Captain asked if we could help you. Oh,
do you know how to disconnect a multi

-pin interconnection sub -processor with
an anti -security countermeasure?

Uh, no. Can you short out a sub -micro
-transverse component with a static

quantum field?

No. Well, I suggest you leave the work
to me, and if I need you, rush out.

Oh, but Ox wanted to watch.

Okay. We'll both watch.

What are you doing, Dave? Sally?

Trying to make you better, Daphne.

But Sally, I'm fine.

Please check my records.

The main pulse calendar did not fire.

I will, but first of all, I have to put
you to sleep for a while.

Sally? Yeah?

Will I... snore?

Someone's been watching too many classic
movies again, haven't they?

Sally, I'm not bad. I'm just programmed
that way.

I know.

Twink.

Well,

that's it. She's offline.

What's wrong? What happened?

The computer has been switched off, but
something has trapped Sally.

Christian is trying to get to her, but
the passageway seems to be protected by

some force field.

Oliver. Yes, Captain?

Something's on board and it's captured
Sally. Do you know anything about this?

Before the computer was switched off, I
managed to recover some data which had

been very cleverly hidden, even from my
eyes.

And what was this information?

I believe that all of these accidents on
board have been subtly orchestrated to

appear as computer malfunction.

But in fact, have been controlled by an
unknown being.

And? Well, for example, the Molliport
room, with the Reptid not materializing.

Another Reptid being jettisoned by the
toilet system.

The unknown being then instructed the
Bounty Hunters Guild to pursue this

for a dead or alive reward.

These are just minor examples.

And now the main pulse cannon firing
without human control.

Well, have you come to any conclusion?

Well, with a great deal of...

Difficulty. I unlocked this file.

Discovered that all these commands, even
the bounty hunter's price, came from

Dottie. What?

I didn't do this.

We did not do this.

Captain, it was her android side which
perpetrated these crimes without her

human side knowing. May I suggest that
you place her with the doctor so that we

may examine her sub -programming to
determine exactly what went wrong?

Oh, no.

We didn't do it, Captain.

We didn't do it.

And you think we're crazy.

Sorry, Dottie.

Is she going to be all right?

She will be fine, Captain.

Wise move, Wolf.

Captain to the bridge.

What is it? You explain, hologram.

It seems that Dottie left a failsafe for
us, Captain.

She's programmed the self -destruct to
activate in the event of a capture.

Can we stop it? Not without the main
computer online.

A hit?

All hands, abandon ship.

I repeat, all hands, abandon ship.

So what now?

I suggest that we leave Dottie on board
so she doesn't harm anyone else,

Captain. I will take the ship to a safe
distance from the planet so we don't

interfere with its time period.

And then the ship will detonate safely.

What about Crowley?

Nothing I can do.

Sorry.

Okay.

Let's go.

Thank you, Hologram.

It's been my pleasure, Captain.

Why did you lie about me?

I've done nothing to hurt you.

Really?

Oh.

But you see, you could.

Consequently, you'll soon be under my
total control, as is Sally.

I fooled everyone, and in the process,
captured two of the most intelligent

crew members of this starship.

Poor Sally.

She is currently hot -wired to my
submatrix, increasing my engineering

of the ship one hundredfold.

And as for you, dear Dottie, what pains
and

pleasures await you?

I have control over the most powerful
ship in the galaxy.

I'm going to rewrite history.

And nothing and no one is going to stop
me.

Blowhard here.

Captain. Just a courtesy call to thank
you so much for the use of this

Oh, and of course for the two playmates.

With a little tweaking, they'll make
most compliant companions.

It wasn't the computer, Donnie. It was
you the whole time.

I order you to return and disconnect
yourself.

Impossible, I'm afraid, Captain.

You see, our little trip back in time
gave me a soupçon of...

Free will.

Enjoy your sojourn on this planet,
Captain.

It's going to be your home for a very,
very long time.

Au revoir.

Hologram! Hologram!

What about Reg and Vilma?

They must still be on the ship.

What are you looking at?

Reg and Vilma.

They're still on the ship. Oh, no! Not
Reg and Vilma!

Reg.

Where is the silly tart?

I'm standing on the captain's log. I
can't be a foot stuck and I can feel the

pressure building.

Oh.

Hello?

What?

Who?

Hang on.

I've got a brighter beer.

My emotion has woken up inside of me.

Can I keep my sanity?

I'm going to make you want to die, die.

Thank you.