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>> FRANKIE: I hate my dress.
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>> LINA: Well, you should have
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thought of that before you
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picked it out.
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>> ELLA: Frankie, I'm gonna
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be late!
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>> LINA: Honey, if you would
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have helped with your sisters,
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you wouldn't have been so late.
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>> FRANKIE: I don't like my
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dress.
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>> ELLA: Wednesday's the only
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day I can't be late.
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>> LINA: I'm sorry, Ella.
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Don't be such a spaz.
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And you-- you need to find
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your glasses.
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>> ELLA: Come on, let's go!
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>> MAYA: I know where they are.
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>> FRANKIE: I don't like my
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dress.
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>> LINA: Well, then, find them
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and put them on your face.
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>> ELLA: Hurry up!
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>> LINA: Ella, just go ahead.
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You don't have to wait for us.
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>> MAYA: They look stupid on me!
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>> LINA: Well, you're gonna look
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stupider when someone hits you
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in the face with a ball in gym
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class 'cause you can't see to
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catch it!
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>> LINA: Really?
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>> RUSS: Come on.
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This is good for us.
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>> LINA: No.
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>> RUSS: Intimacy.
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>> LINA: It's not relaxing.
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It's too small, and I get cold.
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(dog whimpering)
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>> RUSS: There's plenty of
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space.
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(whimpering continues)
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Out.
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Go!
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>> LINA: You have to take
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him out.
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>> RUSS: Come on. Come on.
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(whining)
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(Russ groans)
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I put him outside.
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>> LINA: Did you shut the gate?
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>> RUSS: We have a gate?
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(dog whimpering)
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>> LINA: Come on!
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(whimpering continues)
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Well, he's not using the leg at
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all, and I'm really worried
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about it.
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>> RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry.
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What was the exact cause of the
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injury?
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>> LINA: He fell down the back
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steps.
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>> RUSS: Yeah.
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>> LINA: My husband left the
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gate open.
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>> RUSS: My wife made me take
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the dog outside.
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>> LINA: I didn't want the dog
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to see my husband's boner.
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>> RUSS: We were showering.
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>> LINA: I was showering.
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>> RUSS: We were both...
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>> LINA: I... was showering.
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>> RUSS: It's a very small
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shower.
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>> RECEPTIONIST: Okay. I'll...
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Doctor will see you shortly.
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(dog whimpering)
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>> LINA: $5,000.
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>> RUSS: Maybe we need a
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vacation, just the two of us.
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>> LINA: Hello.
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We just got a $5,000 vet bill.
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Can't afford a vacation.
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>> RUSS: I mean, how-how much do
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you think it would cost to... I
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don't know, like, put the dog
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down?
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>> LINA: The kids love that dog.
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I love that dog.
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>> RUSS: No.
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I know.
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So do I.
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And what pisses me off the most
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is that I have a wife, and I
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have kids, and now I have this
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other thing that I have to take
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care of... and pay for.
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>> AJ: Dogs are tough.
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How much do you need?
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>> RUSS: Five K.
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>> AJ: That's a lot of money.
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>> RUSS: I know. I know.
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Work has kind of been slow.
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>> AJ: I get it.
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You got a lot of vaginas to
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feed, huh?
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Maybe you could do something
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for me.
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Roxanne and Jerry are having
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a party.
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They're moving in together.
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I told you that, right?
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>> RUSS: Oh, shit.
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No. Sorry.
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>> AJ: It's cool. I'm cool.
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He's a great guy.
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He's teaching me how to
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mountain-bike.
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>> RUSS: Don't you already know
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how to mountain-bike?
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>> AJ: Yeah, but not like
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this guy.
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>> RUSS: You sure you're okay?
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>> AJ: Yeah, I'm fine.
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I'm going to their housewarming
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party tomorrow.
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>> RUSS: Are you serious?
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>> AJ: Yeah. Yeah, my therapist
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thinks it's a good idea.
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You know, closure.
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>> RUSS: You're really gonna go?
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>> AJ: Sure. It'll be fun,
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you know?
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It would be nice to have some
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support there.
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>> RUSS: Yeah, absolutely.
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I will be there.
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>> LINA: Wait.
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I don't understand.
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Is he lending us the money
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or not?
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>> RUSS: I think so.
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>> LINA: You think so?
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>> RUSS: I mean, I'm-I'm pretty
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sure.
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That's why we're going to the
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party.
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>> LINA: Do you think we can get
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it up front?
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>> RUSS: Mm, I don't think so.
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Hello.
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>> LINA: Oh.
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>> MAYA: This is what she's
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wearing.
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>> ELLA: We think you should
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change.
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>> MAYA: Maybe put on a dress.
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>> LINA: I don't like this
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dress.
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>> RUSS: Why?
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I think it looks great.
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>> LINA: It's just itchy and
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weird.
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It's, like, from the '80s.
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>> RUSS: Stop.
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>> LINA: Come on. Where is she?
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Ella?!
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Are you sure you're gonna be
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able to do this?
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'Cause I'm not gonna pick you up
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in the middle of the night from
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another sleepover.
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>> ELLA: Mom!
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>> RUSS: Mom!
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>> LINA: Mom!
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(horn honking)
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>> LINA: Five bucks says she
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doesn't make it till midnight.
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>> RUSS: Yes, she will.
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>> VALET: You here for the
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engagement party?
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>> RUSS: Uh, Roxanne and Jerry?
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>> VALET: Yep.
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>> LINA: I can't believe we got
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suckered into going to AJ's
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ex-wife's engagement party.
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(phone chimes)
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>> RUSS: I know.
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>> LINA: With AJ.
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>> RUSS: And he's running late.
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(Lina scoffs)
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>> RUSS: Should we bail?
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>> LINA: Kind of want to.
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>> RUSS: Right?
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>> LINA: We have a bottle of
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wine-- let's go to the park
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and drink it.
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>> RUSS: Let's go.
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Yeah, let's go.
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>> ROXANNE: Russ?
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>> RUSS (sighs): Lina.
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>> ROXANNE: Russ?
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>> LINA and RUSS: Hi!
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>> LINA: That ring is insane.
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Are you kidding me?
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>> ROXANNE: Ah, thanks. I know.
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It... You know what?
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This is... quick.
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It's fast.
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I never planned to get married
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again-- you know that.
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He... This is his second
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marriage, too.
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>> JERRY: Yeah, I never thought
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I'd be getting married again.
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>> ROXANNE: No, and...
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>> JERRY: All of a sudden, we
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have caterers and florists and
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dressmakers.
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>> ROXANNE: Yeah, we're planning
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a wedding, yeah.
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I mean, this is...
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>> JERRY: We're doing it.
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(doorbell rings)
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Excuse us.
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That's the door.
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Uh, grab a drink.
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>> LINA: Okay.
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>> RUSS: Sure. Thank you.
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Thank you.
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>> LINA: Oh, my God, I hope my
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next husband is this rich.
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>> RUSS: Well, you are free to
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marry him as soon as my second
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wife graduates high school.
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>> LINA: Deal.
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>> JESS: Oh, thank God.
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Someone I can talk to.
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>> LINA: Wow.
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>> RUSS: Look at you.
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>> JESS: Yeah.
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I was in a slut mood.
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>> RUSS: Oh, I'm sorry.
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There are other moods?
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>> JESS: Can you ask your
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husband to please be nice to me?
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>> LINA: Uh, where is your
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husband?
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>> JESS: Oh, my grandfather
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husband is a million years old,
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and so he's asleep, and I'm
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here.
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Can I talk to you for a minute?
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It's very important.
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>> RUSS: Be right back.
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>> JESS: So, there's this guy at
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work.
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>> RUSS: Uh-huh.
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>> JESS: And things have been
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getting a little bit out of
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control.
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>> RUSS: Oh, I thought you had a
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thing about work.
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>> JESS: I do. I do.
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>> RUSS: A rule.
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>> JESS: We haven't done
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anything.
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There is a rule.
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I do have a thing about work.
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(sniffing)
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He made me finger myself.
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>> RUSS: He made you?
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At gunpoint?
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>> JESS: He made me finger
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myself.
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Like, if he gives me the
280
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,668
challenge, I'm not gonna not
281
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,669
do it.
282
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,670
>> RUSS: No. Why would you?
283
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,739
>> LINA: So, how do you guys...?
284
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,875
How do you know...?
285
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:53,545
Um... is it Jerry?
286
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,546
>> JESS: We didn't touch each
287
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,514
other.
288
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,515
We were in separate cubicles.
289
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:57,516
>> RUSS: Uh-huh.
290
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,517
>> JESS: I'm not an idiot.
291
00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,518
>> RUSS: Right.
292
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,519
>> JESS: He just, uh...
293
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,520
(sniffles, scoffs)
294
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,521
He made me finger myself.
295
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,522
That's what happened.
296
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,757
He made me finger myself.
297
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,395
>> LINA: And if we don't get the
298
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,696
surgery, they might as well just
299
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:12,697
cut the leg off.
300
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,698
And we only got him...
301
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,699
>> RUSS: Hey. Hey, come with me.
302
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:15,600
>> LINA: What? Where's AJ?
303
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,368
>> RUSS: I don't know.
304
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,068
That's not important right now.
305
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:17,769
>> LINA: Is he coming?
306
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,537
>> RUSS: I-I don't know.
307
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,538
It's not important.
308
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,438
>> LINA: The whole point...
309
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,039
>> RUSS: Just come with me.
310
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,040
>> LINA: I'll be right back.
311
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:22,874
>> RUSS: Please, I got to show
312
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:23,674
you something.
313
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:24,543
>> LINA: Her brother is a vet.
314
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,545
>> RUSS: Four showerheads.
315
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,546
>> LINA: Look at that.
316
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,880
>> RUSS: Four showerheads.
317
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,081
>> LINA: Wow.
318
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,082
>> RUSS: Four.
319
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:31,883
>> LINA: Yeah.
320
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:32,717
>> RUSS: You always say, like,
321
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:33,552
"I don't want to take a shower
322
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,219
with you because somebody always
323
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,019
gets cold."
324
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:35,720
>> LINA: Because I always get
325
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:36,721
cold-- me.
326
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:37,556
>> RUSS: Yes!
327
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:38,390
Now we don't have to.
328
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:39,090
>> LINA: Yeah.
329
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,392
>> RUSS: We can just enjoy it.
330
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,893
>> LINA: W... Now?
331
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:42,727
>> RUSS: No one is getting cold.
332
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:43,595
Because there are four.
333
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:44,463
>> LINA: Honey, we're not
334
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:45,130
showering right now.
335
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,064
>> RUSS: We are showering
336
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:46,898
right now.
337
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:47,732
>> LINA: No, no, no, no. No.
338
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:48,600
>> RUSS: Yes.
339
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:49,468
Nobody's gonna get cold.
340
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:50,135
>> LINA: We're at a party.
341
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,069
>> RUSS: I know.
342
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:51,903
>> LINA: We're not taking
343
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:52,737
a shower.
344
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:53,605
>> RUSS: There are four
345
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:54,473
showerheads here.
346
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,140
>> LINA: What is your obsession
347
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,074
with showers right now?
348
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:56,908
>> RUSS: Come on.
349
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,742
Just take your clothes off.
350
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:58,610
>> LINA: No, I'm not showering
351
00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,478
at this party.
352
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,145
>> RUSS: Why not?
353
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,079
Let's just spice it up.
354
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:01,913
We used to do shit like this.
355
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:02,747
>> LINA: You're so cute
356
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:03,615
right now.
357
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:04,483
I'm not showering with you.
358
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:05,150
>> RUSS: Oh, it's AJ. Hello?
359
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,151
>> LINA: Good.
360
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,586
>> RUSS: We're hanging out.
361
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,753
It's very mellow.
362
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:09,988
Everybody's... We're just
363
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,989
hanging out.
364
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:11,756
>> LINA: Just tell him to
365
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:12,457
come in.
366
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,257
>> RUSS: I know.
367
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:13,992
That's what I'm telling him.
368
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:14,993
Really?
369
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,127
(Lina groans)
370
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,929
Um, yes, I can.
371
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:21,032
Okay. I'll be right out.
372
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,010
Hey.
373
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,144
>> AJ (sighs): I've been parked
374
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,145
out here for almost an hour.
375
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,146
I didn't want to cry in front of
376
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,147
everyone.
377
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,148
You know?
378
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,149
>> RUSS: You think you're done
379
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,451
crying?
380
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:40,819
>> AJ: Huh.
381
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,020
My therapist is such a piece of
382
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,455
shit.
383
00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:45,490
Closure. What kind of bullshit
384
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,491
is that?
385
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,492
I should put a bullet in his
386
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,027
head-- that'd be closure, huh?
387
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,129
>> RUSS: What do you want to do?
388
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,298
>> AJ: Get in the car.
389
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,267
Please.
390
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,874
>> RUSS: Where are we going?
391
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,809
>> AJ: Home.
392
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,011
>> RUSS: Your apartment?
393
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,647
>> AJ: Mm-mm. No, home-home.
394
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,181
My apartment's not a home.
395
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,883
It's a coffin.
396
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,885
(starts engine)
397
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,557
>> JESS: Hi.
398
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,558
>> LINA: Excuse me. Hi.
399
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,493
Thank you.
400
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:22,527
I can't believe I wasted a
401
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,728
sitter on this.
402
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,996
>> JESS: It's still early.
403
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,031
Let's just go out.
404
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,666
>> LINA: Hmm, I have to get up
405
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,867
early.
406
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:29,901
>> JESS: Honestly, you really
407
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,570
look too good to go home.
408
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,737
Don't waste it.
409
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,506
I'll make it worth your while.
410
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:36,174
>> LINA: Really?
411
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,510
>> RUSS: You guys still haven't
412
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:39,544
sold this place?
413
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,745
>> AJ: We've gotten a couple
414
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,013
offers, but nowhere near what
415
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,049
it's worth.
416
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,051
We were happy in this house.
417
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,853
>> RUSS: No, you weren't.
418
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,689
>> AJ: Well, we could've been.
419
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:53,858
Roxanne wants to sell.
420
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:54,859
She doesn't mind taking the
421
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:55,894
loss.
422
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,096
I'm not taking any more losses.
423
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,230
>> RUSS: Dude, you-you got to
424
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,565
move on.
425
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,766
Roxanne is engaged.
426
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,201
>> AJ: Thanks, Dad.
427
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,769
You know, when I said that I
428
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,204
didn't want to be alone tonight,
429
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,906
that meant that I needed a
430
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,909
friend, not a dad, Dad.
431
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,077
>> RUSS: From now on, I am all
432
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,078
friend.
433
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,546
>> AJ: Thank you.
434
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:15,780
(doorbell rings)
435
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,716
Mmm, the girls are here.
436
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:18,717
>> RUSS: What girls?
437
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,752
>> AJ: The companionship I
438
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,220
ordered.
439
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,588
>> RUSS: Oh, Jesus.
440
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,756
>> AJ: Lighten up, Dad.
441
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,091
>> WOMAN: Hi!
442
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,892
>> AJ: The party has arrived.
443
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:28,927
Hi.
444
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,128
Welcome to my ex-home.
445
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,597
Try not to slip on my tears.
446
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,232
(chuckles) Come in.
447
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,934
This is my friend, Russ.
448
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,235
He's even crazier than I am.
449
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,937
>> RUSS: Uh, no.
450
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:42,741
I am not crazy.
451
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,275
But I do... I do have issues.
452
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,077
I do, yeah.
453
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,747
No, I'm, I am very complicated.
454
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,949
(laughter, phone rings)
455
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:51,950
>> AJ: Oh.
456
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,652
I'm getting a call.
457
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:54,753
It's my therapist.
458
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,821
Ex-therapist.
459
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,590
Hey, asshole.
460
00:10:58,592 --> 00:10:59,758
How am I?
461
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,759
Well, why don't you ask the
462
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:04,629
crack whores I just ordered?
463
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,764
We're done.
464
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,766
You broke my heart, Dr. Closure.
465
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,801
(phone beeps)
466
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,804
Okay, who wants a tour?
467
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,774
This is the guest room.
468
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,109
This is where my mother-in-law
469
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,611
stayed for six months after her
470
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,279
hysterectomy.
471
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,647
(sniffs) Smell that?
472
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,783
But did I complain?
473
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,284
>> RUSS: (softly): Every day.
474
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,652
>> AJ: Not as much as I could
475
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,653
have.
476
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,654
>> WOMAN 2: I get it.
477
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,689
My mother-in-law is a
478
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,823
straight-up bitch.
479
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,191
>> AJ: That's a friend, right?
480
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,628
Thank you very much.
481
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:39,698
And this was my daughter's room.
482
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,033
She loved this room.
483
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,302
(grunts)
484
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,337
Hates my condo, but who can
485
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,373
blame her, right?
486
00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:51,309
>> RUSS: All right, should we
487
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,310
keep it moving here?
488
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,311
>> WOMAN 2: Yeah, mm-hmm.
489
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,312
>> RUSS: See some, uh...
490
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,980
>> AJ: Oh, God, this is fun.
491
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,983
Let's get this party started.
492
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,218
>> JESS: We just flirt.
493
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,219
It's whatever.
494
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,220
He knows it's not going
495
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,321
anywhere.
496
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,689
He knows I'm a married lady.
497
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,990
He knows I've had a baby, and
498
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,892
it's just one of those work
499
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,027
things that you need to help
500
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,695
stay alive.
501
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:11,830
>> LINA: I miss work crushes.
502
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,698
>> JESS: Mmm, Russ told me that
503
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,066
you're thinking about going back
504
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,334
to work.
505
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,902
(Lina groaning)
506
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,070
(Jess chuckles)
507
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,238
>> LINA: I don't know where to
508
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,339
start with that.
509
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,841
My last résumé was on a
510
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,342
floppy disk.
511
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,343
>> JESS: Oh, my God, he's here.
512
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,344
>> LINA: Who?
513
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,345
>> JESS: Dewey, my work crush.
514
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,346
>> LINA: You brought me here to
515
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,347
meet him?
516
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,248
>> JESS: You're really gonna
517
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,015
like him.
518
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,050
He has a lot to offer.
519
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,051
(Lina groans)
520
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,185
Oh, he brought a friend.
521
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,386
>> LINA: They're babies.
522
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,688
>> JESS: Mm-hmm, they are.
523
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:37,722
And lucky for him, 'cause I'm
524
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,723
still lactating.
525
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:39,724
>> DEWEY: Hey, hottie.
526
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:40,759
>> JESS: Hey.
527
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:41,860
(Lina groans)
528
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:42,894
>> MAN: Hey.
529
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:43,895
>> LINA: Hi.
530
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:44,896
>> MAN: So, how do you ladies
531
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:45,897
know each other?
532
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:46,898
>> LINA: She's really good
533
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:47,932
friends with my husband.
534
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,234
>> JESS: What? Hold on!
535
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,368
Did you just say I'm really good
536
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,436
friends with your husband?
537
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,871
We're not friends, bitch?
538
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,038
>> LINA: Yes, we are, but you
539
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,740
asked how we knew each other.
540
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:56,908
How we know each other is that
541
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,042
you're friends with...
542
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,377
>> JESS: Don't strain yourself.
543
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,445
Jesus.
544
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,080
Sorry you're slumming it with
545
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,381
your husband's friend.
546
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,382
Maybe you should get your own
547
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,383
friends.
548
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,384
>> LINA: No, I...
549
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,385
>> JESS: Can I get some shots,
550
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,419
please?
551
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:09,454
>> AJ: This was supposed to be a
552
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,055
fitness center.
553
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,390
A place we could come every day,
554
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,926
work out together, connect, be
555
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,028
intimate, you know.
556
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,966
We never worked out.
557
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:27,972
>> RUSS: All right, I don't know
558
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,741
about you guys, but, uh, I kind
559
00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:31,910
of feel like a-a cleansing row.
560
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,078
>> AJ: What?
561
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,413
>> RUSS: A row. Come on.
562
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,414
>> AJ: I like what you're
563
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,415
saying, yeah.
564
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,416
>> RUSS: Why not?
565
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,417
>> AJ: You girls want to get in
566
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,419
shape, huh, huh?
567
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,420
>> RUSS: Let's utilize some of
568
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,922
this dusty equipment.
569
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:44,923
>> AJ: Right on, huh?
570
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:45,924
>> WOMAN 2: Row harder!
571
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:46,958
>> RUSS: I can't.
572
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:47,959
>> WOMAN: Okay, now slower.
573
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:48,493
>> WOMAN 2: Come on,
574
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,427
get into it.
575
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,428
>> RUSS: I know.
576
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,496
>> AJ: Hey, hey, hey, hey,
577
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,764
don't-don't do that.
578
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:54,265
That's not necessary.
579
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,100
Just... be real.
580
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,770
Okay?
581
00:13:58,772 --> 00:13:59,838
(laughter)
582
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,939
>> JESS: All right, cheers.
583
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:01,973
(whooping)
584
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,441
Thank you.
585
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,509
>> MAN: Cheers.
586
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,510
>> DEWEY: Yeah.
587
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,511
>> LINA: He makes the
588
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,779
best shots.
589
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:08,780
How hard is it to make
590
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:09,781
another one?
591
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:11,449
>> JESS: Let's do it! You! Pour!
592
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,450
(AJ exhales)
593
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:15,486
>> WOMAN: Yeah. Come on. Ooh.
594
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,487
>> AJ: Right?
595
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,622
>> WOMAN 2: Come on.
596
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:18,489
(women laughing)
597
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:19,524
>> AJ: Uh, uh... yes!
598
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,959
Jump! Jump! Jump!
599
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:21,960
Oh... my... God.
600
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:22,961
>> WOMAN: Don't you want to
601
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:23,962
join us?
602
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:24,963
>> RUSS: I am joining you in
603
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:25,997
spirit.
604
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:26,998
>> WOMAN: Come on!
605
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:27,832
>> JESS: You're like a little
606
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,033
baby.
607
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,301
Are you sipping that?
608
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,871
Oh, what a puss.
609
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,172
Put some underpants over
610
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,206
your face. You're a vagina!
611
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,141
(laughter)
612
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,176
>> LINA: Yay!
613
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,177
>> AJ: Oh, I'm feeling that
614
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:40,044
in my arms.
615
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,379
It's bad habits, but I can do it
616
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,480
if I'm instructed.
617
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,514
Bend over lower.
618
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,483
You're not squatting.
619
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,518
(grunting)
620
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,519
Let the tension out.
621
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,520
What is wrong with you?
622
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,521
Like, really go for it.
623
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,489
>> RUSS: I am, okay?
624
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:52,390
>> AJ: Don't be timid in here.
625
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,224
>> WOMAN 2: Come on, come on,
626
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,158
let's make this work.
627
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,159
>> WOMAN: Don't be a girl.
628
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,160
We are getting in shape!
629
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,161
>> MAN: I seriously don't
630
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:58,162
believe you.
631
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,564
>> LINA: Yeah, believe it.
632
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,499
>> MAN: Really? Three kids?
633
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,034
>> LINA: Yes. Three.
634
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,068
>> MAN: No way.
635
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,370
>> LINA: Way.
636
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,039
(man chuckles)
637
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,841
>> MAN: Are they cool?
638
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,509
>> LINA: Not really.
639
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,011
(Russ groaning)
640
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,246
>> WOMAN 2: Listen to me now!
641
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,247
>> AJ: I'll do whatever you
642
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,015
want, just...
643
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:17,916
>> WOMAN 2: You'll do
644
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:18,917
what I say.
645
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,018
>> JESS: You need to dance.
646
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,019
>> LINA: I'm not dancing.
647
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,020
>> JESS: Yeah, I want to see
648
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,054
that booty shake all around.
649
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,188
>> LINA: I'm not dancing.
650
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,225
>> JESS: Now's the time.
651
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,260
¶ ¶
652
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,238
>> AJ: Oh, yeah.
653
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,874
That is fantastic.
654
00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:45,243
If I died right now...
655
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:46,244
it would be sad.
656
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,245
It would, it would suck.
657
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,413
No way I would want to go.
658
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,581
Confuse a lot of people.
659
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,583
Sorry, I got to remember to move
660
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,585
and not just watch you.
661
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,621
¶ ¶
662
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,562
(squealing)
663
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,265
(yelling)
664
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,234
(screaming)
665
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,303
(laughter)
666
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:16,274
>> AJ: So, are you guys bisexual
667
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,576
or what?
668
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,311
>> RUSS: Uh, guys, the man asked
669
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,479
you a question.
670
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,581
(laughter)
671
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,249
>> JESS: Whoa.
672
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,651
Yeah, you're the champion.
673
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,286
You're the champion.
674
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,587
You did it.
675
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,588
>> LINA: Are you hungry?
676
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,622
>> JESS: Yeah.
677
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:32,957
>> LINA: Do you have any money?
678
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:33,958
>> JESS: No.
679
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,727
But I can get it.
680
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:41,599
>> JESS: Oh, shit.
681
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,434
I forget my PIN number.
682
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,103
It's my kid's birthday, which
683
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,505
is... which is named Harrison.
684
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,940
(laughter)
685
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:50,108
What is his birth...
686
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,642
Don't judge.
687
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,277
>> LINA: Oh, my God.
688
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:55,513
Tonight was really fun.
689
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,115
>> JESS: Tonight is so much fun.
690
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,516
Don't die on me now, Lina.
691
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,451
Let's go!
692
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:01,686
Let's get your ass back in the
693
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:02,954
bar.
694
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:04,322
>> LINA: Jess!
695
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,456
>> JESS: What?
696
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,457
>> LINA: I want to get another
697
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,458
taco.
698
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,659
>> JESS: This is a taco.
699
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,695
>> LINA: Oh, my God. (laughs)
700
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:15,700
¶ ¶
701
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:21,639
>> AJ: Which one do you want?
702
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,208
>> RUSS: Which one do you want?
703
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,376
>> AJ: Both.
704
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,544
>> RUSS (chuckles): Good choice.
705
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,545
Good...
706
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,580
(phone chirps)
707
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:32,550
Oh, shit.
708
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,684
>> AJ: Everything okay?
709
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,553
>> RUSS: Ella's bailing on
710
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,989
another sleepover.
711
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:39,490
>> AJ: Oh.
712
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,559
I used to love sleepovers.
713
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,728
I'd pretend that I had normal
714
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,065
parents and a nice house.
715
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,699
Instead of that shit hole.
716
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,368
>> RUSS: Hey, I got to go.
717
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,170
Can I borrow your car?
718
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,171
>> AJ: Yeah.
719
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,339
(keys jingle)
720
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:58,509
Oh, and, uh...
721
00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,744
for the dog.
722
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,212
>> RUSS: Thank you, man.
723
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,513
>> AJ: Thank you.
724
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,048
>> RUSS: Have fun tonight.
725
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,550
>> AJ: I will try.
726
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:06,717
>> RUSS: Good-bye.
727
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,186
Good times.
728
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,421
>> WOMAN: Bye.
729
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,422
(doors closes)
730
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,057
>> AJ: Ladies,
731
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,259
it's pajama time.
732
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:26,404
(sighs)
733
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:27,405
>> ELLA: I'm sorry I keep making
734
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:28,706
you do this.
735
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,074
I just get really scared.
736
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,576
>> RUSS: I know.
737
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,412
It's okay.
738
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,214
>> ELLA: Everything gets easier
739
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,782
when you're a grown-up, right?
740
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:41,119
(clicking)
741
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,087
>> RUSS: Yeah.
742
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,622
Uh-huh.
743
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,657
(engine starts)
744
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,229
>> ELLA: Love you, Daddy.
745
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,763
>> RUSS: Love you, too.
746
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,565
>> ELLA: Thanks.
747
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,634
>> RUSS: Sleep good.
748
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,638
>> LINA: It's this one.
749
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:05,409
(keys jingling)
750
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,478
(sniffling)
751
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:11,749
Baby?
752
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:12,750
(Russ groans)
753
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:13,751
I need help with my dress.
754
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:14,785
>> RUSS: No. No.
755
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:15,786
(Lina muttering)
756
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,421
Ow!
757
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:18,623
Ow.
758
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,091
>> LINA: I can't get my dress
759
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:21,292
undone.
760
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,426
>> RUSS: Wow.
761
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,794
You look like you had
762
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:24,829
a good time.
763
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,797
(Lina laughs)
764
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:27,832
>> LINA: Oh, my God, I had the
765
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,101
best time.
766
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:32,436
I love Jess.
767
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,638
Oh.
768
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,641
(Russ groans)
769
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,609
>> RUSS: Look what I got.
770
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,345
>> LINA: Is it water?
771
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,781
Oh.
772
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,616
Oh.
773
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,818
AJ rocks.
774
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,321
>> RUSS: Hmm, sometimes.
775
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:53,191
>> LINA: He's a good one.
776
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,325
>> RUSS: Mm-hmm.
777
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,626
>> LINA (gasps): I forgot to
778
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,694
tell you something.
779
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,462
I forgot to tell you that, um,
780
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,299
Jess is gonna help me with my
781
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,466
résumé.
782
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:03,701
>> RUSS: Really?
783
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:04,702
>> LINA: Yeah.
784
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,970
>> RUSS: That's great.
785
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,205
>> LINA: No one's gonna hire me,
786
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,806
but, oh, I'm gonna have such an
787
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,175
awesome résumé.
788
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,177
(sighs)
789
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,479
>> RUSS: Do you remember when we
790
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:18,649
stayed with your friend on
791
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,319
Catalina before we had kids?
792
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,688
>> LINA: Yeah.
793
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,489
>> RUSS: And we got back from
794
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:28,559
the beach, and we went in that
795
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,495
outdoor shower.
796
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,331
And we stayed in there for,
797
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,498
like, an hour.
798
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,500
(Lina chuckles)
799
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,903
We didn't care what anybody
800
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,239
heard or how loud we were.
801
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,741
We just...
802
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,177
stayed in there forever.
803
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:48,512
We just... showered.
804
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:52,216
>> LINA: Oh, baby.
805
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:54,852
We need a vacation.
806
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,687
>> RUSS: Please, can it be
807
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:57,688
somewhere with an outdoor
808
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,190
shower?
809
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,858
>> LINA: It's gonna be a villa.
810
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:04,762
>> RUSS: Oh.
811
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,597
Well, see you in the villa.
812
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,567
>> LINA: See you at the villa.
49132
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