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(dog barking in distance)
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(Russ grunts)
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>> RUSS: Hey.
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>> LINA: Mm.
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>> RUSS: That a vampire book?
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>> LINA: Mm-hmm.
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>> RUSS: Didn't you just watch a
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vampire movie?
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>> LINA: I like vampires.
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(Russ grunts)
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>> RUSS: That is weird.
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>> LINA: What?
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>> RUSS: Give me your hand.
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Tell me this doesn't feel weird
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to you.
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>> LINA: What?
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>> RUSS: Give me your hand.
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Tell me this doesn't feel weird.
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>> LINA: I'm not touching your
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penis.
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>> RUSS: I'm serious, there's
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something, like, going on.
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(sighs)
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Oh, wow. You know what?
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I bet it probably tastes weird,
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too.
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(Lina groans)
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>> LINA: I'm sure it does.
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Good night.
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(Russ moaning softly)
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>> LINA (sighs): You're shaking
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the bed again.
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(Russ moaning softly)
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>> LINA: All right, you guys.
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Come on. We need to go.
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We're late, late, late, late,
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late.
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>> ELLA: Mom, Daddy's sleeping
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on the couch again.
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>> LINA: Yeah, ask Daddy about
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that.
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>> MAYA: Daddy, Daddy, I forgot
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to feed Norman.
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>> RUSS: What?
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>> MAYA: I need you to feed
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Norman.
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>> RUSS: Okay. Who's Norman?
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>> MAYA: Norman. My fish.
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>> RUSS: Right. Okay.
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I will feed Norman.
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He's a fish.
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(car engine starts)
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(door closes, horn honks)
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>> RUSS: Can I ask you
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something?
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>> BERNIE: Yeah, I'm here for
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you.
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>> RUSS: How often do you and
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Cindy have sex?
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>> BERNIE: (chuckles) Is that
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what this is about?
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Huh. I don't know.
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You know, we have our ups and
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downs.
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Sometimes we do it a lot,
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sometimes only three or four
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times a week.
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>> RUSS: Really?
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>> BERNIE: Yeah.
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Oh, you guys... having trouble?
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>> RUSS: The other day, I
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started calculating how many
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more times Lina and I are gonna
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do it before we die.
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I actually, like, started
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crunching numbers.
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>> BERNIE: All right.
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And how did the numbers look?
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Oh. Pretty bad, huh?
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>> RUSS: Yeah. It's just...
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It's like, even when we... have
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sex, it's not like real sex,
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you know?
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It's like somewhere between,
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like, pity sex and-and
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necrophilia.
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>> BERNIE: (sighs) All right.
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I'm gonna solve this for you.
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You know how Cindy really loves
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dancing and I hate dancing
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'cause it's a stupid waste of
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time?
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But I dance with my wife.
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'Cause even though I hate it, I
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love having sex.
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Find out what she's into.
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Pretend to like it, no matter
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how stupid it is.
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It's called being sensitive.
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(crickets chirping)
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>> LINA: Did you move the kids?
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>> RUSS (Transylvanian accent):
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Good evening.
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(Lina laughs)
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I want to suck your junk.
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Ha, ha, ha.
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>> LINA: Wh-What's this?
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>> RUSS: This is your fantasy.
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>> LINA: (laughs) Okay, well,
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first of all, the accent?
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Not all vampires are from
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Transylvania.
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>> RUSS (Canadian accent): I
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want to suck your junk, eh?
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>> LINA: (chuckles) What's that?
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>> RUSS: It's a Canadian
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vampire.
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I can be whatever vampire you
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want me to be.
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>> LINA: Is this seriously
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supposed to turn me on?
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Come on.
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We had a quickie a few weeks
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ago.
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>> RUSS: Yeah, and you yelled at
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me for not being quick enough.
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>> LINA: Because quickies are
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supposed to be quick.
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>> RUSS: I don't understand how
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you can be, like, into all that
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fantasy stuff and not interested
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in the real thing.
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>> LINA: Because the fantasy
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doesn't make me feel like shit
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every time I don't do one of its
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porno positions.
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>> RUSS: What are you talking
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about?
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I have four basic positions.
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>> LINA: Um...
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>> RUSS: Fine. Si... Seven.
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>> LINA: Really? Seven?
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>> RUSS: Yes, seven.
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>> LINA: All you do is flip me
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over and over and over.
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>> RUSS: It's fun.
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(Russ snoring)
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(grunts)
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>> LINA: I mean, I get it.
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You were doing a really cute
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thing and I messed it all up.
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>> RUSS: I was just...
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>> LINA: Baby, I'm sorry.
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It's just the girls-- they take
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everything out of me.
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And it doesn't help that every
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time you look at me, I get
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pregnant.
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>> RUSS: That's not...
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always my fault.
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The last one, I wore a condom.
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>> LINA: Yeah, and you screwed
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it off.
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>> RUSS: I didn't screw it off.
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>> LINA: You did screw it off.
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>> RUSS: No, I didn't.
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>> LINA: Yes, you did.
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>> RUSS: Your vagina, like,
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ate it and then...
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>> LINA: Don't blame this on my
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vagina.
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>> RUSS: Well...
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>> LINA: Look, I'm trying to
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make everyone happy.
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And then at the end of the day,
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I have to make you happy, too?
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I... It's just too much.
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>> MAYA: Ella hit me!
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>> LINA: Well, hit her back.
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>> RUSS: Look...
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>> LINA: Don't you think if
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there was some magical sex pill
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that I could take, I would?
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>> RUSS: Then let's go magic
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pill shopping.
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>> LINA: I can't have this
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conversation with you again.
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>> RUSS: I know.
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>> LINA: It's the same thing
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over and over and over.
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I don't know what to tell you.
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Maybe you should just go and be
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with someone else.
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>> RUSS: What?
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You want to split up?
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>> LINA: No.
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>> RUSS: Then how am I supposed
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to go be with someone else?
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>> LINA: You go...
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be with someone else.
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(girl screams)
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Which one was that?
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>> JESS: Well, what exactly is
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she proposing here?
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>> RUSS: I have no idea.
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She said that I basically should
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get my needs met somewhere else.
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>> JESS: Well, maybe you should
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just get a whore.
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I think one of my old roommates
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is an actual whore.
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She was cute.
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She's probably ruined in her
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area, but she is a... whore.
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>> RUSS: I don't... It's not...
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I don't want a whore.
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>> JESS: I wish Greg would give
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me permission to bang
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a stranger.
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>> RUSS: No, you do not.
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>> JESS: Oh, yes, I do.
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>> RUSS: No.
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>> JESS: Mm-hmm. I am so tired
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of sleeping with someone who is
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old enough to be my father's
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friend.
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Who also happens to be my
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father's friend, which is
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totally on me.
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Totally on me. Thank you.
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>> RUSS: I used to, like, fully
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turn Lina on, and now I... I
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just annoy her.
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>> JESS: Dude, she loves you.
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It's like with me and Greg.
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I know that he loves me, but I
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also know that he can't keep up
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with me.
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(groans) Did I tell you that he
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can only do doggy style if he
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wears a knee brace?
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>> RUSS: No.
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>> JESS: That's not a sex toy.
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Doggy's my jam.
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>> AJ: I don't care about your
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stupid barbeque.
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It's my weekend.
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Yeah. Oh, and another thing,
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tell your screw pal to stop
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buying my daughter turtles.
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I'm her father.
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Nobody buys her turtles except
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me, do you understand?
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(sighs) Baby mama drama.
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(chuckles) Oh.
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>> RUSS: How is everything
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working out, you know, for you,
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divorce-wise?
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>> AJ: It's a big party. What?
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>> RUSS: No, but you're getting
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laid a lot.
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At least, you talk about it a
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lot.
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>> AJ: Yeah, and you have a
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family, huh?
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You want to know where I spent
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my last Thanksgiving?
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At a Panda Express with a
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dominatrix, all right?
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Don't try and out-sad me.
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I am the king of sad.
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(Jess laughs)
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>> JESS: Congratulations.
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>> AJ: Thank you.
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What's his problem?
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>> JESS: He's just so sad
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because his wife says he can
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have sex with other people.
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>> AJ: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
280
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,118
Did you get it in writing?
281
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,153
>> RUSS: No.
282
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,187
I don't want it in writing.
283
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,255
I just want her.
284
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:11,423
>> AJ: I get it.
285
00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:12,624
She's hot, all right?
286
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,925
>> RUSS: She is.
287
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,093
>> AJ: Sure. Those legs, that
288
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,261
ass, those nipples that say
289
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,629
howdy.
290
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,531
But trust me, man-- don't let
291
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,300
sex ruin what you guys have.
292
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,435
If-if I could do it all over
293
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:24,436
again, I would've just gotten a
294
00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:25,704
mistress.
295
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,805
It might've saved my marriage.
296
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:27,806
>> JESS: That is actually a
297
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,140
smart idea.
298
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,475
Excuse me.
299
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,276
>> RUSS: No. Don't.
300
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:31,943
>> JESS: Yes. Do.
301
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:32,944
>> RUSS: Don't. Don't.
302
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:33,512
>> AJ: Yes.
303
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:34,212
>> JESS: Excuse me.
304
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:34,880
>> WAITRESS: Yeah.
305
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:35,480
>> JESS: Hi.
306
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,448
>> WAITRESS: How can I help you
307
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,148
guys?
308
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,016
>> JESS: Well, would you be
309
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,317
interested in being my friend's
310
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,285
mistress?
311
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:41,286
It's for a good cause.
312
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,320
He needs to save his marriage.
313
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,321
And don't worry-- it's that
314
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:44,356
friend, not that one.
315
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,457
>> WAITRESS (chuckles):
316
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:46,391
A mistress.
317
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,293
Um, well, what are the hours
318
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,294
like?
319
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,229
>> JESS: Oh. Very honest.
320
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,531
Funny. Okay.
321
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,532
>> AJ: That's very funny.
322
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:54,499
>> JESS: Russ, this is...
323
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,333
>> WAITRESS: I'm Ella.
324
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,234
>> RUSS: Oh, that's my
325
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:56,968
daughter's name.
326
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:57,836
>> WAITRESS: Oh, no way.
327
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:58,536
>> RUSS: Yeah.
328
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,538
>> WAITRESS: That's a good name.
329
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,206
>> RUSS: It's a great name.
330
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,207
But maybe not so much for a
331
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,107
mistress.
332
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,142
'Cause then I'd be, like, inside
333
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,210
her and I'm feeling like it's
334
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,211
incest.
335
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,178
That's gross.
336
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,179
>> AJ: Don't be so
337
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,180
old-fashioned.
338
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,181
>> JESS: You are a buzzkill.
339
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,182
>> RUSS: This is not going well.
340
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,250
I don't...
341
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,318
>> JESS: No, it's going so
342
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:13,919
poorly.
343
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:14,920
>> RUSS: I find you very
344
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:15,987
attractive, I just don't want...
345
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:16,988
>> WAITRESS: I actually have
346
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:17,889
other tables.
347
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:18,990
>> AJ: Yeah, sure you do.
348
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:19,858
>> JESS: No, you're released.
349
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,759
>> WAITRESS: Thanks, you guys.
350
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:21,660
>> AJ: Of course you do.
351
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,527
Yes, enjoy your other tables.
352
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,095
>> WAITRESS: Okay.
353
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,163
>> JESS: If you really are
354
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,098
serious about getting a
355
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,934
mistress, then you're gonna need
356
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,235
to do something about that ear
357
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,503
hair that's in there.
358
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:32,604
You need to wax it out or
359
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,072
something, because ear hair is
360
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,106
not sexy, it's not...
361
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,174
>> RUSS: I'm not getting a
362
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,175
mistress.
363
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,076
>> AJ: Why not?
364
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:38,976
>> JESS: Ugh.
365
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:39,911
>> RUSS: You know me, I get too
366
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,379
attached.
367
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,248
And then there's the cost.
368
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,215
Like, Lina would kill me if I
369
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,216
was out buying shoes for other
370
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,251
women.
371
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,552
>> AJ: So keep it on the cheap.
372
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:48,687
Get her some flip-flops or
373
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,088
something, you know?
374
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,289
Flip-flops and a sandwich, man.
375
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,290
That's all it takes.
376
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,525
JESS: Oh... What are you, so
377
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:54,693
romantic?
378
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,627
AJ: Well, we're not talking
379
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,695
about romance, here.
380
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,862
>> RUSS: Even if I did do it,
381
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,531
right... like, I haven't been
382
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:00,899
single in a very long time.
383
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,400
I would ha... have no idea where
384
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,401
to start.
385
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,903
>> JESS: Start with the ears.
386
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,072
(laughs)
387
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,040
(AJ chuckles)
388
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,009
RUSS: Really?
389
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,550
(Russ grunts)
390
00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:19,551
>> RUSS: You know, I've always
391
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:20,619
wondered what the inside of this
392
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,087
place looks like.
393
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,122
My... My wife used to actually
394
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,290
come here and get waxed all the
395
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,324
time.
396
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,326
That was, uh, that was before we
397
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,562
had kids, obviously.
398
00:10:30,564 --> 00:10:32,130
Just...
399
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,465
Ow.
400
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,133
Lately, she's, uh, really let
401
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,835
things go down there.
402
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,503
(chuckles)
403
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,571
Kind of looks like a pirate.
404
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:40,605
(music playing through earbuds)
405
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:41,740
>> ISIS: Did you say something?
406
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:42,807
>> RUSS: No, I did not.
407
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,342
Just, uh...
408
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,478
It's... not important.
409
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:53,151
>> ISIS: Are those your girls?
410
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,286
>> RUSS: Yeah, three girls.
411
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,287
>> ISIS: You gonna try for the
412
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,288
boy?
413
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,289
>> RUSS: I don't really care
414
00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,924
about the boy part, but, uh, I'm
415
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:02,494
always down for trying.
416
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:06,197
>> ISIS: I like funny guys.
417
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,766
>> RUSS: Do you, uh, do you have
418
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,301
any kids, or...
419
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,436
>> ISIS: My ex and I were
420
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,637
supposed to have a boy.
421
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:13,638
Charlie.
422
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:14,639
>> RUSS: Oh.
423
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:15,640
>> ISIS: That's what we were
424
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,008
going to call him.
425
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,310
We were at 23 weeks, and then
426
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,280
one day...
427
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,483
Now he walks with Jesus.
428
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,686
>> RUSS: Um...
429
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,320
Uh, Charlie is...
430
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,722
That's a great name.
431
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,657
It's a great name.
432
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,693
(Isis sobs quietly)
433
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:56,915
>> ISIS: Sorry about losing it
434
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:57,916
like that.
435
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,884
>> RUSS: Oh, please, don't worry
436
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:00,885
about it.
437
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,754
I lose it all the time, so...
438
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:06,391
(both laugh)
439
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,593
No, it's, you know, it's hard
440
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:09,594
being with the same person
441
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,329
forever, you know, and ever.
442
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,330
And ever.
443
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,998
(puppies barking)
444
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,033
(laughs)
445
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,367
>> ISIS: Look how cute.
446
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:19,938
>> RUSS: Aw.
447
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,406
>> ISIS: After we lost the
448
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,876
baby, Angel-- my ex-- wanted to
449
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,512
start trying again.
450
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,913
But I couldn't be with him no
451
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,248
more.
452
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,918
Every time we tried to, uh...
453
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,087
I just thought of Charlie and
454
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,524
his cute little sonogram.
455
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,093
Maybe God doesn't think I'd
456
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,294
be a good mother.
457
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,295
Maybe that's why he took
458
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:47,766
Charlie.
459
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,701
(barking)
460
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,469
(phone line rings)
461
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,470
>> RUSS: Oh, thank God you
462
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,471
picked up.
463
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,406
Hey, uh, I need a favor.
464
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,208
Yeah, I'm, um...
465
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,812
I need 400 bucks.
466
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:03,715
Thank you so much, dude.
467
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,083
>> BERNIE: There you go, $400.
468
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,151
>> RUSS: Oh, you're a lifesaver.
469
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,218
>> BERNIE: So, this is it,
470
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,453
you're getting a whore.
471
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,420
>> RUSS: No, of course not.
472
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:10,455
>> BERNIE: Uh, okay, okay.
473
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,422
>> RUSS: But do me a favor,
474
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,457
though-- don't say anything to
475
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:13,424
Cindy, she-she'll say something
476
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,292
to Lina.
477
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:14,993
>> BERNIE: (chuckles)
478
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:15,994
Then Lina will know you're
479
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,462
getting a whore.
480
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,763
>> RUSS: Again, Bernie, not
481
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,798
getting a whore, okay?
482
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,799
>> BERNIE: Right, okay.
483
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:21,766
>> RUSS: Thank you.
484
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,268
>> BERNIE: I won't say anything.
485
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,903
But, uh, if it is a whore, just
486
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,738
promise me-- don't choke her.
487
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:30,575
I don't want to get that call.
488
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:34,412
Hands off.
489
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,848
>> RUSS: Thank you.
490
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:37,849
Here you go.
491
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,517
>> ISIS: Oh, you're crazy.
492
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:40,518
>> RUSS: Well, you said he was
493
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,254
cute, right?
494
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,189
>> ISIS: We should call him
495
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,456
Charlie.
496
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,658
Hi, Charlie.
497
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,026
>> RUSS: Charlie, like, like,
498
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,127
Charlie, Charlie?
499
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,595
(Isis giggling)
500
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,596
>> ISIS: Oh, my little Charlie.
501
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:52,597
>> RUSS: I was...
502
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:53,832
Yeah, I was... I was just
503
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,332
thinking maybe, like,
504
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,136
Hercules, you know, or-or, uh...
505
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,104
Okay, we'll go with Charlie, I
506
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:02,173
guess.
507
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,983
>> ISIS: You gonna come in,
508
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,051
right?
509
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,086
>> RUSS: I don't know, uh...
510
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,793
Maybe just for a minute.
511
00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:22,794
>> ISIS: Sorry about the mess.
512
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:23,795
I didn't know I was having
513
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:24,796
company.
514
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:25,797
Hola, Tia.
515
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:27,732
This is my friend Russ and our
516
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:28,700
new little doggie.
517
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:29,467
(puppy barking)
518
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:33,071
>> TIA: Oh.
519
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,573
(exclaims)
520
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,609
(speaks Spanish)
521
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,946
(distant siren wailing)
522
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,487
>> ISIS: So you want to watch
523
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,389
TV?
524
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,691
>> RUSS: Uh, I-I have a TV at
525
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,827
home, so...
526
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,595
think I'm probably good...
527
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,631
with that.
528
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,404
Love all the shelving.
529
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:13,011
Okay.
530
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,879
Wow, this is soft, huh?
531
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,214
>> ISIS: Yeah.
532
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,283
(soft laugh)
533
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,453
>> RUSS: Uh... (short laugh)
534
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,169
(Isis breathing heavily)
535
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,314
(phone chiming)
536
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,257
>> RUSS: I got to take this.
537
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:02,593
>> ISIS: What?
538
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:03,594
(puppy whining)
539
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,297
(TV playing indistinctly)
540
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,634
>> RUSS: What's up?
541
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,736
Uh, no, I'm just out right now.
542
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,671
>> LINA: Where are you?
543
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,106
>> RUSS: I'm just, uh, running
544
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,074
some errands.
545
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,743
>> LINA: Bullshit.
546
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,111
What errands are you running?
547
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,279
I run every errand in this
548
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,313
house.
549
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,414
You need to get home.
550
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,415
>> RUSS (sighs): Fine.
551
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,350
>> LINA: When?
552
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,417
>> RUSS: I don't know-- like, 20
553
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,618
minutes.
554
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,087
Okay, bye.
555
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,322
(phone beeps off)
556
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,993
Look, I... I got to go.
557
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,761
>> ISIS: You gonna come back?
558
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,663
>> RUSS: You know, I...
559
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,698
I don't think it's a good idea.
560
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,206
Yeah, I f-feel like I could be
561
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,207
back in an hour.
562
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,508
(Isis giggles)
563
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,509
>> ISIS: Can you pick up some
564
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,344
food for Charlie?
565
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,645
Maybe a chew toy.
566
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,714
>> RUSS: A chew toy.
567
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:05,656
>> RUSS: What is the emergency?
568
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,159
>> LINA: Norman died.
569
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,127
The fish.
570
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,228
>> RUSS: Oh.
571
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,295
Right.
572
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,363
>> MAYA: I put too much food in
573
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,365
his bowl.
574
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,668
>> RUSS: Aw, sweetie.
575
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,703
We all make mistakes.
576
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,704
>> MAYA: You need to put a suit
577
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:20,705
on.
578
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:21,706
>> RUSS: Why?
579
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,673
>> MAYA: For the funeral.
580
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:23,908
>> ELLA: He was just a fish.
581
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:24,976
>> MAYA: He was my friend.
582
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:25,977
>> LINA: Girls, go in the
583
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:27,011
backyard; I want to talk to
584
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:29,347
Daddy for a minute.
585
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:33,251
Daddy?
586
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,419
>> RUSS: Look, I'm sorry I
587
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,420
killed the fish.
588
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,821
>> LINA: Why did you borrow $400
589
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,322
from Bernie?
590
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,257
>> RUSS: What are you talking
591
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,258
about?
592
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,259
>> LINA: Oh, please.
593
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,326
>> RUSS: I didn't...
594
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,261
>> LINA: No, yeah, you did.
595
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,328
Cindy called and said that you
596
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,064
told Bernie to meet you with
597
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,331
$400.
598
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,700
>> RUSS: That's... I...
599
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:50,701
Oh, right, okay.
600
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:51,736
>> LINA: Yeah, mm-hmm.
601
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:52,670
>> RUSS: I remember that now.
602
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,337
Okay.
603
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,338
That was...
604
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,273
>> LINA: I know that I told you
605
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,507
that you can do whatever you
606
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,875
want, but can you please be
607
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,243
discreet and not borrow whore
608
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,211
money from our friends?
609
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,245
>> RUSS: I didn't get a whore.
610
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,246
>> LINA: Oh, really-- then what
611
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,548
was the $400 for?
612
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,615
>> RUSS: It was...
613
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,451
I can't tell you that.
614
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:09,053
It's-It's a... surprise.
615
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,088
>> LINA: Well, that surprise
616
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,722
better not be AIDS.
617
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,391
>> RUSS: Herpes?
618
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,692
(laughs quietly)
619
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,593
>> LINA: You already gave me
620
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,594
that.
621
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,562
>> RUSS (laughing): No, I
622
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,764
did not.
623
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,399
Oh, I get it.
624
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,700
Does it turn you on that I may
625
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,368
have had sex with someone else?
626
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,736
>> LINA: I thought you said you
627
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:26,704
didn't.
628
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,039
>> RUSS: I didn't.
629
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,240
But if it turns you on that I
630
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,575
did, then I did.
631
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,609
>> LINA: Just get dressed,
632
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,610
weirdo.
633
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,645
>> RUSS: Come on.
634
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,618
(phone line ringing)
635
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:46,491
>> BERNIE: Hello, caller.
636
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,925
Please leave a message and
637
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,227
someone will get back to you.
638
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,328
(beeps)
639
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,730
>> RUSS: Hey, dick, it's me.
640
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,932
Yeah, um, just calling to say
641
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:55,967
thanks again, you know, for
642
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:59,103
opening your big mouth.
643
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:00,404
I'm trying to...
644
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,273
save my marriage, here.
645
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,075
>> MAYA: Norman was a great
646
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,409
friend.
647
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,411
He was also family.
648
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:08,746
He was the only one I could talk
649
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:09,747
to.
650
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,517
And you always understood me.
651
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,552
You were a great fish.
652
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:18,956
>> LINA: You make cute kids.
653
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:19,957
>> RUSS: So do you.
654
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:20,925
>> LINA: Except for this one.
655
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:21,926
>> RUSS: Yeah.
656
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:22,927
Whose kid is this?
657
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:23,961
>> LINA: I don't know.
658
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:24,829
>> RUSS: Whose kid is this?
659
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:25,696
>> LINA: She lives next door.
660
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:26,597
>> RUSS: Do we know you?
661
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,533
Do we know you?
662
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:33,871
>> RUSS: We were just in the
663
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,673
backyard having a funeral, you
664
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,874
know, for Norman.
665
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:37,975
>> JESS: Yeah.
666
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,110
>> RUSS: And I thought, like,
667
00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:40,845
what the f... hell am I doing?
668
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,947
>> AJ: Are-are you going to see
669
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,049
this girl again or are you not?
670
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,184
>> RUSS: It's complicated.
671
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,451
I-I don't know.
672
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:49,053
I have to get her dog food.
673
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,454
>> AJ: You're making her eat dog
674
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,823
food. Okay.
675
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,125
>> JESS: Why are you buying her
676
00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:55,126
dog food?
677
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:56,961
>> RUSS: Because I may have
678
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,996
bought her a dog.
679
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,031
>> JESS: Oh.
680
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,233
>> AJ (laughing): Oh!
681
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,301
You idiot!
682
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,468
That's so stupid.
683
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,404
Why would you do that?
684
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:07,471
>> JESS: How does that happen?
685
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,406
>> RUSS: Because you told me to
686
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:09,473
get my ears waxed.
687
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,408
>> JESS: Yeah, I did.
688
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,409
I asked you to get your ears
689
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:12,543
waxed.
690
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,544
That does not mean that you
691
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,512
should get a dog.
692
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:15,646
>> RUSS: I know.
693
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,647
I'm an idiot, okay?
694
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,682
This is exactly why I can't have
695
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,083
a mistress. I need your help.
696
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:20,084
>> JESS: No, no, no, no.
697
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,152
You don't need help.
698
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:22,086
It's not complicated.
699
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,154
It's simple.
700
00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:24,255
Just don't go back there.
701
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,990
>> RUSS: I promised this woman
702
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,225
dog food.
703
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,359
>> JESS: Just trust me.
704
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,594
Don't go back there.
705
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:30,661
>> RUSS: You're right.
706
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,662
I'm done.
707
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,663
I'm done.
708
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,664
I'm not gonna bring her the dog
709
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:34,599
food.
710
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:35,600
I'm over the mistress thing.
711
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,735
It's done.
712
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:50,214
(loud music playing inside)
713
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:51,215
>> RUSS: Oh, sorry.
714
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,216
I think I have the wrong
715
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,251
apartment.
716
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,518
>> ANGEL: You Russ?
717
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,355
>> RUSS: Yes.
718
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,389
>> ANGEL: You got the right
719
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:01,692
place.
720
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,761
Hold up.
721
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:13,471
Isis wants you to take care of
722
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:14,372
this little guy.
723
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,539
(puppy whining)
724
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:17,742
>> RUSS: Uh, where is she?
725
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:18,776
>> ANGEL: Hospital.
726
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,077
Tia was having chest pains.
727
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,312
>> RUSS: Is sh-she okay?
728
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:22,313
>> ANGEL: I don't know, man.
729
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,314
She's old.
730
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,582
Messed-up shit happens all the
731
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:25,583
time; we ain't got no control
732
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,818
over it.
733
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,120
Something messed up could happen
734
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:31,155
to you right now.
735
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,494
>> RUSS: Is something messed up
736
00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:39,163
about to happen?
737
00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:41,299
>> ANGEL: No, man.
738
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,100
I got no claim anymore.
739
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:45,136
Just doing a favor for the ex.
740
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:48,005
Here.
741
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,573
His name's Charlie, right?
742
00:21:49,575 --> 00:21:50,241
(puppy whining)
743
00:21:50,243 --> 00:21:51,242
>> RUSS: Yeah, I-I, uh...
744
00:21:51,244 --> 00:21:52,243
I definitely...
745
00:21:52,245 --> 00:21:53,244
>> ANGEL: She told you that was
746
00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:54,245
what we were gonna name our
747
00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:55,746
little man?
748
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:56,814
>> RUSS: I wanted to go with
749
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,182
Hercules.
750
00:21:58,184 --> 00:21:59,617
>> ANGEL: It's all good.
751
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:00,584
I mean, it isn't.
752
00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:02,086
But it has to be, right?
753
00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:04,355
That's the world.
754
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:07,425
>> RUSS: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
755
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:10,528
Oh, that's... it is the world.
756
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,863
It's definitely the world.
757
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:14,932
>> ANGEL: Take good care of him.
758
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:15,866
(distant siren wailing)
759
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,902
(helicopter blades whirring)
760
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:22,907
(door closes)
761
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,844
(puppy whining)
762
00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:42,059
>> LINA: Where have you been?
763
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:43,627
>> RUSS: You told me to be
764
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:44,662
discreet.
765
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:47,465
So, I was being discreet.
766
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,133
(short laugh)
767
00:22:49,135 --> 00:22:50,301
Messing with you.
768
00:22:50,303 --> 00:22:51,302
I'm not...
769
00:22:51,304 --> 00:22:54,038
>> LINA: You suck.
770
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,072
You want to watch a movie
771
00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:56,240
with me?
772
00:22:56,242 --> 00:22:57,908
>> RUSS: Vampires or...?
773
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:01,479
>> LINA: No.
774
00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:02,913
Werewolves.
775
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:03,914
>> RUSS: Oh.
776
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:05,950
Even better.
777
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,654
>> MAYA: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
778
00:23:10,656 --> 00:23:12,189
Daddy got us a dog!
779
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:13,357
Daddy got us a dog!
780
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:14,692
>> LINA: Where did you get that?
781
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:16,660
>> MAYA: It was in Daddy's car.
782
00:23:16,662 --> 00:23:17,895
>> LINA: Daddy bought a dog
783
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,830
without talking to Mommy?
784
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:20,765
>> RUSS: Uh, we can... we can
785
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:21,832
return it.
786
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:22,833
I can... I can easily give it
787
00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:23,768
back.
788
00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:24,769
>> LINA: We're not returning
789
00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:25,770
our dog.
790
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:27,438
>> RUSS: No. Good. That's...
791
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,939
Of course not.
792
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:30,341
We shouldn't return our dog.
793
00:23:30,343 --> 00:23:32,309
(girls cooing, clamoring)
794
00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:36,180
>> LINA: You're gonna need a
795
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,115
name, aren't you?
796
00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:40,785
(excited chattering)
797
00:23:40,787 --> 00:23:43,687
>> MAYA: Thank you, Daddy!
798
00:23:43,689 --> 00:23:45,756
(phone chiming)
799
00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:57,501
(Lina sighs)
800
00:23:58,870 --> 00:24:00,838
(chiming continues)
801
00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:15,219
Hey, buddy.
802
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:17,188
(puppy whining)
803
00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:24,862
(siren wailing)
804
00:24:27,732 --> 00:24:30,167
(knocks softly)
805
00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:31,235
>> ISIS: Russ.
806
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:32,803
>> RUSS: Hey.
807
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,472
How is she?
808
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:35,473
>> ISIS: She had a little heart
809
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:36,440
attack.
810
00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:37,908
But it's okay.
811
00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:39,176
She has a lot of heart attacks.
812
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:41,745
>> RUSS: Aw.
813
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:44,348
>> ISIS: Who's with Charlie?
814
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:46,851
>> RUSS: Um...
815
00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:48,853
I think you should s-sit down.
816
00:24:48,855 --> 00:24:51,355
>> ISIS: What?
817
00:24:51,357 --> 00:24:53,591
>> RUSS: He ran into the street.
818
00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:55,593
Yeah.
819
00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:57,595
It was a truck, you know?
820
00:24:57,597 --> 00:25:00,464
So, he... he didn't suffer.
821
00:25:00,466 --> 00:25:01,499
>> ISIS: W-Wait.
822
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,300
He's-he's gone?
823
00:25:03,302 --> 00:25:03,934
I... no.
824
00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:05,936
>> RUSS: Yeah.
825
00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:07,838
I tried to stop the bleeding,
826
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,140
but it was...
827
00:25:10,142 --> 00:25:12,309
so profuse.
828
00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:13,544
>> ISIS: Charlie is dead?!
829
00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:15,012
>> TIA: Huh?
830
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,447
>> ISIS: He's dead again!
831
00:25:16,449 --> 00:25:19,350
God took him away from me again!
832
00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:24,889
(Tia speaking Spanish)
833
00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:26,624
>> RUSS: Uh...
834
00:25:26,626 --> 00:25:29,126
just text or...
835
00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:31,295
I know a great tapas place.
836
00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:32,963
Just throwing it out there.
837
00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:35,199
(Isis and Tia crying)
838
00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:42,239
>> AJ: Wow.
839
00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:43,240
>> JESS: Whoa!
840
00:25:43,242 --> 00:25:44,241
>> AJ: Yeah.
841
00:25:44,243 --> 00:25:47,011
The grandma in the background.
842
00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:48,579
It makes it hotter.
843
00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:49,580
>> JESS: Yeah.
844
00:25:49,582 --> 00:25:50,581
>> AJ: I don't know...
845
00:25:50,583 --> 00:25:51,649
>> JESS: Is it really over
846
00:25:51,651 --> 00:25:52,750
between you guys?
847
00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:54,518
>> RUSS: Yeah. I think so.
848
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,520
She said that every time she
849
00:25:56,522 --> 00:25:58,422
sees me, she thinks of Charlie.
850
00:25:58,424 --> 00:25:59,590
>> AJ: Mm.
851
00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:01,025
The baby or the dog?
852
00:26:01,027 --> 00:26:02,259
>> JESS: Mm.
853
00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:03,661
>> RUSS: Dog, I think.
854
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:04,695
>> AJ: Ah, that's...
855
00:26:04,697 --> 00:26:05,696
>> JESS: That's less sad.
856
00:26:05,698 --> 00:26:06,664
>> AJ: Yeah, it's better.
857
00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:07,665
>> RUSS: You guys want another
858
00:26:07,667 --> 00:26:08,699
round?
859
00:26:08,701 --> 00:26:10,000
>> JESS: Mm-mm.
860
00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:11,335
I can't, I got to stop.
861
00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:12,269
Tonight is the night that I lay
862
00:26:12,271 --> 00:26:13,571
out Greg's pills for the week.
863
00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:15,706
So, that's part of my life.
864
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:16,874
>> AJ: I wish I had somebody to
865
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:19,109
lay out my pills.
866
00:26:19,111 --> 00:26:20,177
I don't even know what I'm
867
00:26:20,179 --> 00:26:22,246
taking.
868
00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:27,751
(puppy whining)
869
00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:30,788
>> RUSS: Hey.
870
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:35,726
(grunts)
871
00:26:35,728 --> 00:26:37,027
Hey, does this feel weird
872
00:26:37,029 --> 00:26:38,295
to you?
873
00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:39,697
>> LINA: I'm not touching your
874
00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:42,066
penis.
875
00:26:42,068 --> 00:26:43,701
>> RUSS: How did you know...?
876
00:26:43,703 --> 00:26:47,204
>> LINA: Seriously?
877
00:26:47,206 --> 00:26:49,173
>> RUSS: You're good.
878
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,481
>> LINA: The puppy's right here.
53744
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