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Come, Sweet Death

Something just happened again.

Now I'm not one of those people who crosses himself

every time an ambulance goes by

so he won't be the next one

cut into a million slices for a computed tomographic image.

But now let me tell you how it happened.

Strangely enough it all started when

a whole morning went by without a single emergency call

to Kreuzretter headquarters.

No accidents, no heart attacks, no family dramas, no nothing.

And believe it our not,

there wasn't a single shithouse run all morning.

By contrast on a normal day you get one diabetic after another

to chauffeur back and forth from dialysis to the corner bakery.

But today,

ghost town.

The calm before a storm is nothing in comparison.

What a coincidence.

Brenner, what time is it? Look at your watch.

12 o'clock on the dot.

High noon.

Well?

And you're reading about Stephanie of Monaco.

And her mother was who?

See?

See what?

Grace Kelly played the lead in "High Noon."

- Awesome. - And the accident

where she died.

No one knows who the driver was.

Lady Diana probably.

Four reds.

Here's how it worked: the driver

bets as many lights as possible,

if he makes it, his partner owes him

100 schillings, and if not, he pays.

An innocent game.

And taking a detour just to try to hit more lights

is a tactic Kreuzretter drivers

hardly ever used anymore.

Come on, get in.

Headquarters to 590.

Headquarters to 590.

Correction:

the organ donor is being awaited in ward 3.

I repeat: ward 3.

Roger.

Take Probst Street.

No, no detours with the siren on.

You get a whiff of him? Like schnapps.

Who, the doctor? That's normal enough.

No, the donor.

Disgusting, half dead and reeking of schnapps.

Think of it: they transplant a liver into you,

and you come out of anesthesia totally plastered.

But now they can already transplant a pig's liver into a human.

With sautéed onions.

No seriously,

the drugs they have now can prevent rejection.

- A pig's liver in a human? - Yeah.

Yuck.

I told you, traffic jam.

C'mon. Let's go.

Watch out!

Shit.

Sonny.

Maybe we should call animal rescue.

You could call cadaver processing. Let's go.

Drive! Human life comes first.

I dunno, I like dogs a lot.

- I had a dog. - You run that one over, too?

Jerk. You're so heartless.

How about getting back down off the sidewalk?

Sorry.

What do you mean "sorry"?

Just look at this!

I'm sorry. Just have it cleaned.

You can't clean this!

This suit cost a fortune!

It's nice.

I can throw it away.

Idiot!

We'll be collecting old clothes in Nov.

What?

If you're still working here!

Look.

The Rettungsbund...

Like vultures.

They snatch our victims from under our noses.

Know what that means?

War!

Cool!

You're a conscientious objector.

I'm not against war;

I just refuse to fight for the Austrian Army.

Alright men,

let's end today's class with my favorite game,

the number quiz:

15?

Unconsciousness.

27?

Acute hyperglycemia.

19?

You there, pay attention.

Cardiac arrest.

Excuse me.

Wait outside please.

24?

Shithouse run.

Junior was a popular boss in general.

But the fact that the Rettungsbund had

whisked another one of his patients from off the street,

had made him a tad nervous.

So gentlemen,

now tell me about the

shithouse run out at Praterstern.

It's the radio. We had to watch while...

You just stood by and watched, did you? Great.

There was a kindergarten group...

Why didn't you join the little kids?

Thank you. That will be all.

You come with me, Mr. B.renner.

Coffee, tea, juice?

Nothing? Fine.

How long have you been with us?

Two and a half months?

Your probation period is over in two weeks.

The impression I have of you up till now is

you're intelligent, uncommunicative, very arrogant,

and incapable of working as a team.

I like that, really.

In your case it's a sign that you're working

far below your capabilities.

Why were you kicked out of the police force?

I slept with the boss' wife.

Fine.

I'm not married and I'm determined to motivate you, Brenner.

Between you and me,

I want to be frank with you.

Watzek Concrete paid

for the Rettungsbund's entire fleet.

So to prove they need all these new vehicles,

the Bund has waged war on us.

They intercept radio communications, steal patients.

How would you react to this sort of provocation?

I wouldn't.

Good, Mr. Brenner. You'd do nothing.

Outwardly I'll do absolutely nothing.

But,

do you think you can find out

how they got a hold of our radio code?

I'll let you name your own reward, Mr. Brenner.

And, uh, B.renner,

don't let yourself go quite so much, hm?

Maybe it's not normal to take 2 hours to decide

whether or not to go down to the cellar pub for a beer.

But it's interesting...

Now that he doesn't have to scrape by as a detective,

he still can't quit busting his brains over things.

Brenner smelled it immediately.

Well damn. This haze did not just come from smoking and drinking,

but from, you know, hormones and stuff...

Sex and all.

There's a special hormone.

Men have theirs and women have their own, too.

Got any scented candles at home?

Forget it.

A beer?

Know what's weird?

When a girl's as drunk as Angelika,

it's a total turn-off for me.

I couldn't kiss her now.

- Alright if I have some more? - Yeah, go ahead.

Suck don't blow.

Just suck. Don't blow.

That's why they call 'em fags.

Don't blow, Angelika.

I never liked the German,

but when his testosterone kicks in, I hate him.

Can I have one?

Sure.

Got a light?

Sure.

Suck, German,

don't blow.

Floozy cigarettes.

I feel so faint,

I have to hold onto something.

Take your hand off me.

Please.

I'm not taking my hand off.

Then I'll just hold on, too.

Look.

How about it, let's go outside.

- Let's go outside. - Now or never.

Suck or blow?

Are you chicken?

I don't believe it.

They get dirty so fast, you can't imagine...

And here: 12,000 schillings,

hand riveted in priest-nun style...

In the morning of course the big question:

who told Angelika's father?

No secrets among friends, so to speak.

Why priest-nun anyway?

One side has a hole and the other a protruding knob.

- You can hang a small organ on it. - Kidneys are light.

He means a Hammond.

Nothing you can do about the filth,

- it's in the air. - Could be somewhere else, too.

- Who? - The filth.

You mean the gold chain

exudes the crud?

No, your neck.

Lanz, don't you think you could be nicer,

now that we're practically related?

Suck, Lanz, don't blow.

I'm gonna kill you.

Did you forget my sugar-free chocolate?

- No, Mrs. Rupprechter. - Thank you.

And number 6.

- Look out! - Yeah, yeah.

There's a donor liver at stake.

You won't make it, it's already too late.

Have you gone insane?

Never tell a German, "You won't make it."

Want me to go?

I'll get it.

An old tradition, actually.

On uneven days the driver always

gets the donor liver.

Two donor livers, please.

With hot mustard and pickled peppers, as usual.

Can you microwave it?

It's already hot.

Piss warm. Gotta take a leak myself.

Toss it in the microwave, OK?

Did you have a nice leak?

Put it on my tab.

Hey. Up there.

- Who's manning the radio? - Huh?

I saw a couple screwing.

Screwing? Voyeur. Munzi, what's wrong?

Very funny. Something happened, they just fell over.

What could have happened?

Horizontal is better. Let's go.

Come on, let's have a look.

They've been shot.

He's dead.

Only a doctor can declare death.

Her we can get going again.

What?

Go get a doctor!

Go on, get a doctor, step on it!

The German was kind of lost in thought today:

suck, don't blow. With mouth-to-mouth

there's definitely an important difference.

Is she dead?

Only a doctor can declare death.

Murderer! Scum! Criminals!

- You killed my Sonny! - Berti,

She means you.

If she shows up every day...

Murderers!

Hey, they even mentioned our names.

I better talk to her.

That's crap.

Now listen to me, you old bag!

In Africa children starve

for lack of food.

And you're upset about a mutt?

It would've died of obesity anyway!

Send your dog food to Ethiopia!

Colleague Gross.

That isn't the proper tone

for our staff in uniform to use with clients.

The dog was the client.

I don't find that amusing.

Tough luck.

Mr. Brenner, would you please tend to the lady?

The cops will be here soon.

Would you come with me to give your statements.

It was an accident...

- You murdered my Sonny! - But nobody meant to,

maybe we were...

Well, well. Is it asshole day today?

Wearing a uniform again...

That's quite a career leap.

Bravo.

What did Mr. Brenner do to your boy?

Rape the poor lad?

Worse. They ran him over.

Wait, I can show you a picture of him.

I thought you were still a detective,

peeking into bedroom windows and jerking off while you took photos.

Rescue work is better,

he can kiss unconscious old ladies.

How's the wife?

You son of a bitch!

Forget him, let's go.

- Dialysis? - Heart attack.

I wouldn't hurry so for a shithouse run.

That was him, my Sonny.

Cute.

Next time park your Porsche in the EMT's lot.

Here, this is the police.

Are you the boss?

Make way!

As a cop, how many cases do you get a year?

You mean a good year?

Yeah.

A good year means you changed jobs.

C'mon, I'm interested in this.

If you had to solve the Stenzl murder,

how would you proceed?

"Proceed"? Proceeding is wrong to begin with.

- Why? Because you "follow" a lead? - Yup...

If you're an Indian, absolutely.

You know what it says there?

The murdered director

was to testify in the building scandal trial

against Watzek Concrete.

And Watzek had powerful friends at City Hall.

Mind if I read for myself?

Yeah? Thanks.

I know who did it.

Who?

The German.

Why?

The German's always the murderer.

Jerk.

- Hi. - One donor liver, hot,

- order of fries, red/white? - Yeah.

Exactly.

Rosi, when they killed Stenzl, the German was here, right?

Right.

And Munz was in the ambulance?

Don't know.

And where was it parked?

Listen up, alright,

I ain't no info booth.

That's cool.

So the guiding principle for a cop is

don't ask questions, just let people talk.

You're asking questions again...

Besides, Rosi can't help it if the German talks a lot.

That's OK, it's already forgotten.

So, what's the German been saying?

Oh nothing much.

C'mon, tell me.

He says at the time of the killings

he was here, and you were gone briefly.

That's bullshit.

He's the one who took a piss.

Then he walks up again, same as all of you,

straightening your cocks, and you touch your food

with the same hand.

Now I need to pee.

Why is he so strange today? Is he in love?

Just stupid.

Shoot.

Put it on my tab.

Again.

590, come in.

590. Emergency hospital.

Go to Rax Street immediately. Rear-end collision.

- Victim with minor injuries. - Roger.

C'mon, hurry up!

The German had enough time.

You can catch murderers on your own time.

C'mon. What's wrong?

Diesel injection.

In 2 minutes the German had enough time

to run up to Stenzl's office,

go barn barn, and dash back without anyone seeing him.

Maybe it wasn't his package she saw him straightening...

I'm not interested in murders or murderers.

I couldn't care less.

Anyone acting as disinterested and cool as you...

Me cool? I am not cool!

...has a whole other set of problems.

It's repression.

- Spare me. - You're compensating.

Good evening. Does anything hurt?

My leg.

Let's have a look.

You used to be more gentle.

Now, if you have an accident,

shock might cause you to be a little

cocky.

And in high school, where Klara last saw Brenner,

he, of course, didn't have a mustache yet.

Your mustache is atrocious.

Sorry.

Surprised you recognized me.

Yeah, from your yelling.

The gray looks good, though.

It's not gray.

It's cemetery blond.

I see, yes.

Have you...

Been in Vienna long?

Yes...

Ten years.

And are you married?

Hey watch it!

It hurts like hell in there.

You'll get a cast here.

Hey, do you smell something?

Fuck!

Idiot, stop! You trying to kill us?

A good driving tip

is to look where you're going sometimes!

I didn't see the pothole.

You were staring in the rearview mirror...

To make sure you didn't harass anyone.

That's so devoid of humor.

Our backup ambulance is on it's way...

I don't know why they're still using the 590.

It drives differently.

I would have got rid of it long ago.

Well, gentlemen. Off to a jalopy rally?

Perhaps we can be of some help to the lady.

Fuck off.

According to a certain paragraph the patient...

Oh, I'm a very loyal person.

Here comes our 740 already.

Thanks, but the men in the pansy suits can go home now.

Stupid civie geek.

Nazi pigs!

Why are you alone? Where's Gross?

I dunno. He disappeared.

Disappeared?

Didn't come back from lunch. Today's been a crazy day.

Oh well, let's get her to the hospital.

- Can you drive this back? - OK, what's wrong?

Show him the crack.

You gotta switch stretchers.

Look, there it is, this here.

- Key's in the ignition? - Yeah.

Hey wait!

What do we do with 2 stretchers?

Toss one in the ditch.

You think you can sit up front?

Are you crazy?

It's kind of a mess in back.

So can you?

It's against the rules for patients to sit up front.

Believe me, it's better this way.

Maybe I'm just a civie geek, but I've got a mind, too.

Go in back and have a look.

Is that OK?

I'm driving.

Are you ill?

No.

You couldn't say that Brenner ever really liked the German.

But it's interesting...

Maybe you've noticed this before, too:

some people seem nicer and more mature and just

more stable and settled when they're not doing so well.

Just what I needed.

Good job, really. Absolutely top notch.

Cruising around with a murder victim in back.

You're an ambulance not a hearse.

Will that get through your stupid heads?

Any way to trace the anonymous caller?

No, it's the nature of it.

That's why we call him an anonymous caller and not Franz Huber.

Paramedics are always the biggest jerks.

And the worst cronies.

So you're applying then?

Don't mess with me.

What do we have here?

Covering up your tracks,

withholding evidence...

And impeding police work.

You won't be laughing for long.

Am I laughing?

Morning.

Ah, Mr. B.renner.

You looked better with a mustache.

Really?

Not all paramedics need to wear

a broom under their noses.

Most don't.

Maybe 50/50.

Tell me, uh, next to the German, uh, to Mr. Gross...

My God, isn't that terrible?

Next to him, isn't that the murdered nurse?

Oh there you are. Come with me.

This morning our organization was unable

to carry out 5 dialysis runs.

Why?

Because of the wonderful story in the morning paper

the patients we're not willing and I quote now

to be transported in a hearse.

Considering recent developments, do you think

your behavior yesterday was fortuitous?

No.

What do I look like? The village idiot,

the class clown, a court jester?

Well, tell me,

what do you take me for?

What would my father have done with someone like you?

Look, you're not your father.

I think you'd better leave now.

Have you lost your mind?

Fathers don't tend to like it

when their daughters service a co-worker.

Incidentally, my suit against you is in the works, too.

Oh and Brenner, don't let your nose drip on your paunch.

Who is it?

Shit.

I'm coming...

Can I come in?

Of course Brenner knew immediately what Angelika wanted.

Her dad in jail and Brenner a former detective, in other words:

Get my daddy out of jail for me.

I could use some of that, too.

Did he do it?

You used to be a cop.

Now don't be deceived by appearances.

Brenner gave in, but definitely not

because Angelika was suddenly acting so nice. In fact,

I bet what he really wanted to do was impress Klara.

And I concede, maybe to a lesser degree also for the reward

Angelika was offering him.

What's wrong?

This sucks.

I mean, I'm not so old that I...

If it's for your dad, you don't have to

sacrifice...

It's not that way. What do you take me for?

Oh, sorry,

you're in love with me, that's why we're here, eh?

And are you in love with me?

I'm a stupid old fool.

OK, I'll do it for your dad.

One thing though, I want

us to be all alone, OK,

so we don't have a big audience

when you give me my...

You'll get paid later.

Oh, it's just you.

You scared me, too.

What a relief.

Where would someone hide a gun?

What? Gun? We want receipts, bank statements,

- anything bank-related. - We gotta search all this?

Did you find any schnapps?

Just nudes.

It's locked.

Not so loud.

Do you realize what this is?

A bank statement?

Wait, wait, wait.

Let me help, eh?

If I feel faint, I'll give you a call, OK?

See you.

No, can't do that, I gotta take you all the way up.

- That's the rules, sorry. - If you say so.

Since when do you follow rules?

I'll do anything for my career.

When you have a follow-up, I can squeeze you in, no prob.

Really, you can?

You can squeeze me in?

What's funny? Don't you say "squeeze in"?

Cozy!

Thanks.

Which way to the cellar pub?

Can you help me with my necklace?

I can't unhook it.

Sure.

Who helped you put it on this morning?

- I thought you stopped being a detective? - I did.

But, for example, if I ever gave you roses,

I'd know to get yellow or red ones.

- I see. - That's why I ask.

Well then...

Have a nice afternoon.

He cuts off his mustache for Klara and what thanks does he get?

She doesn't even notice.

I think that's why he was pushy and didn't want to leave,

because he kept hoping she'll notice after all.

But forget it,

women are cruel about these things,

they refuse to notice what you've done for them.

So uh... the

schnapps bar is yours, is it?

Yes, I was contemplating death quite a bit.

And then this dumb thing happened:

death contemplated me for a change.

But

don't worry,

I've said good-bye to that already;

now good-bye to you, too.

But you may come again.

Tomorrow evening?

If you can you squeeze me in.

You on a diet?

Yes.

The cops just left.

A couple of great guys.

Reminded me of what they say:

"if you get raped, don't call the cops. They're already there."

They asked about you, but

I ain't no info booth.

Thank God.

So, assuming

I was a cop and you were an info...

If my aunt had a pecker, she'd be my uncle.

Yeah, but I said assuming.

And if so,

I'd want to know who old Stenzl

was involved with before Irmi.

My lips are sealed about Ms. Lanz.

What? Angelika Lanz and Stenzl?

Beats me. I ain't no info booth.

You're more of a

toll booth.

Exactly.

It's all clear as day.

Watzek Concrete gives the Rettungsbund lots of ambulances.

The Bund's boss is pals with the mayor,

so Watzek remodels half the hospital.

But one man refuses to play along: old Stenzl.

So he's gotta go.

It can't be anyone from the Rettungsbund, too obvious.

So they go to their rivals.

Gross needs cash, says yes.

He does the job, but then he wants more pay...

Clear as day, huh?

Well, what do you say?

Yeah, maybe.

You only have 2 emotional levels.

Either you yell or you don't care.

Sorry, I've got a headache.

Don't get baked so much.

Why are we waiting?

What are you whistling?

Can't we have a normal conversation

like other people?

Well, well, if it isn't Mr. Watzek

in person.

I told you.

Wait for me.

If you go in wearing that, they'll eat you alive.

They can't shoot us, not even in wartime.

Can I sit here?

Go ahead.

Thanks.

Why the dour face?

Think you're any help in that uniform?

If it was a date, I'd have a tie,

but it's not.

A Jacky and some matches.

So, did the detective in you win out?

Is a Jacky a Rooshal?

Jacky is Coke/whisky; Rooshal is Coke/rum,

Ruskie is Red Bull/vodka. Does that help?

- A brewsky! - Brewsky or Ruskie?

Brewsky.

I got news for you. You'll be amazed.

- What? - You had a thing with Stenzl.

Oh?

Just in case you forgot.

So?

Murder spurred by jealousy.

I didn't kill anyone.

But the German did, and you incited him.

Then he got on your nerves,

you played the boys a tune on his skin flute,

and got dad to do the rest.

Or what?

Jealous of Irmi?

She was just using Stenzl.

Oh really?

Don't believe me, see if I care.

Matches.

How was Irmi using him?

He'd keep catching her snooping around in files,

even in the main computer.

Stenzl should have called the cops.

- That's confidential. - Why didn't he?

His dick was closer than his brain.

Men.

Is this where you hang out?

Just keeping my ears open.

You just don't want to pay my fee, eh?

Did we agree to one?

What did Irmi want in the computer of the administration office?

No idea.

Then keep your ears open.

- Leaving already? - Be right back.

You can't keep that money.

It was for a specific purpose.

That purpose is now void.

This isn't proper business practice.

Who are you to tell me about proper business practices?

What are you saying?

Could we discuss this in my office?

Impressive. Nice right.

Was the man harassing you or

are you always so affectionate?

You got a full house in that little blouse.

Unfortunately your escort picked the wrong costume.

His beer's going flat, too.

He'll survive.

I'm sure he will.

I've been working with you for years on a fair basis.

What's the problem.

The money was to keep someone from talking.

So? Now he won't be talking anymore.

You're saying you Rettungsbund clowns killed a witness?

Those weren't my words.

Good evening.

Another Jacky for the lady.

So I think: 12,000 a month at my age

is peanuts, checkin' out the rivals...

Unusual visiting hours...

Sorry.

Not bad.

You do seem highly qualified,

but more for the theater.

Any time you need help...

After all it is for a good cause.

Step outside with me.

Palina,

if any part of today's conversation gets out...

I'm not taking the rap alone.

Don't shit your pants.

- Boss, sorry, I... - What the hell do I pay you for?

- Did he hear something? - Maybe.

The special treatment.

The special treatment?

If you fight, it just makes it a lot worse.

I'm not that stupid.

Bye.

Cheers, colleague.

One less case of beer he has to buy.

Alright, that was the chemical attack. Now for

a little psychological warfare.

A pity the man got ill in the bathroom.

But we already called an ambulance.

In case you can't drive home after those 2 Jackies,

we have a bed for you here.

What do you mean two?

Oops.

The lady will permit me to at least show her out?

Beat it you slut!

Bastard!

At the Battle of Solferino nobody would have dreamed

that we would ever see the day

a Rettungsbund ambulance entered enemy territory with it sirens on.

Declaration of war, plea for help.

Mother fuckers!

Mr. Brenner, gotta hand it to you,

good job.

Too bad my father didn't live long enough to see

the Rettungsbund bringing one of his men in uniform home,

in uniform and drunk. Had he lived long enough,

heaven help you.

I really must apologize to you, Mr. Brenner.

No hard feelings, but I really did read you wrong.

You're no asshole,

you're just a regular idiot.

Pick up your papers at the end of the month,

nice working with you.

Good evening.

Don't be scared.

It kind of plays down the wrinkles, eh?

Are you allergic to roses?

No, wooden boards.

Run into a stack of boards?

The boards ran into me.

I see... Wanna tell me from the beginning?

Aw, it's a boring story, and

by the time things started to rock, I was out cold...

Computers? Why computers?

Why not?

Yeah, but didn't you want to, uh,

like, study music or something?

So what about all your dreams that didn't pan out?

There weren't a lot...

Except to be Jimi Hendrix, but...

For instance.

What's that?

A list of the restaurants that deliver.

Do you like sushi?

No.

Have you ever tried it?

Raw fish in Vienna can't be fresh.

No, st... st..stop.

Yes, that's good.

That's nice. Ah, wonderful.

It's just your imagination.

You get hit, Schichter?

Did someone hit you?

No,

Honest. What makes you think so?

You've got

bruises on your face, that's all.

You're probably drunk.

Are you drunk?

Yes, yes, I'm...

I'm drunk.

Another whiskey?

No thanks.

Hey, I should get going, y'know, the last tram...

Ah, usually when a man says that,

he's testing if he can spend the night.

No, really. I...

I can take a cab, no problem.

How childish do you think I am?

I mean, really, at my age I don't have time for

games like that.

If this is a sentimental phase coming on, don't worry

it gets better after midnight.

Midnight is usually when sentimental phases peak out.

You sound like an expert.

What's your doc say?

Well, first he said: "50 I 50."

Funny, huh?

Like bank robbers splitting the loot.

You end up winning something no matter what.

What does he say now?

Like another whiskey?

He didn't say, "Like another whiskey?"

90% chance of recovery.

If you've got that much time, I'll stay a while.

It hurts so much?

A little.

This too?

And this, does this hurt?

There's a slight twinge...

To be perfectly honest:

Klara was a woman, I'll put it this way,

I could imagine a few things with her myself.

But you really have to envy Brenner's luck.

Without his injuries Klara wouldn't have given him a second glance.

But, of course, you get hurt a little,

and women like that, they get all... you know crazy.

I'll never understand it.

Suddenly you have possibilities, don't even ask...

What're you doing?

Mighty be Death,

And we are his children laughing,

When we think all life lies before us,

Death dares weep from within us.

That's what's on your mind?

I chose it for my tombstone a half a year ago.

Always good to plan ahead.

50 years from now you'll be glad.

Mighty be Death... Or

Gross is dead for sure.

What?

And here we again recognize the detective in Brenner,

that even in a situation like this he doesn't forget Gross.

Why would he kill Stenzl?

Brenner can't seem to figure it out.

But believe it or not,

right after this night with Klara his brain kind of

shifted into gear.

Is that Bach?

Huh, what this? You kiddin' Bach?

Yeah, it is. The Mattheus Passion.

Sorry, but this isn't the Mattheus Passion. Listen.

Come sweet...

Death.

No, it's, "Come, sweet cross."

- Come, sweet cross. - Exactly.

- Right? - Yes.

- Wicked number. - Oh yeah?

All of a sudden?

No, always was, always...

I can still remember

when we'd sing it in choir, I'd stand behind you real close.

When you used to whistle a tune,

the lyrics always told us what you were thinking.

I seriously doubt it.

I never whistle anything that crude.

Oh you.

Ouch, don't. That was right on a wound.

What's you're name anyway?

I'm going to complain about you.

What's your name?

You keep a person waiting for hours.

I donated an entire ambulance. Including the equipment!

Great!

- I'm going back to the Rettungsbund! - Yes, Mrs. Rupprechter.

My husband had a 2-digit membership number...

Keeping a diabetic waiting this long.

When I have to wait this long, I get upset.

And excitement is awful. It makes our glucose levels go haywire.

We were 5 minutes early.

The Rettungsbund was always reliable.

Up until 2 months ago I had one of their home-care people,

that girl never came late.

Should have kept her.

And she was very reliable, too,

but

then I discovered she was just after my money.

You don't say.

That girl would snoop around in my documents.

She wanted to find out if I had put her in my will.

Could have been cleaning.

Then she died first, of all the nerve.

What happened to her?

What?

What happened to her?

Don't you read the papers?

They shot her.

Along with her beau.

Right in the middle of making whoopee.

Irmi.

Beef tongue?

That is so disgusting.

What's disgusting about it?

The sauce kind of hides the taste buds.

I don't mind taste buds.

You have tongue on your tongue,

so are you licking the cow's tongue or

is it licking yours.

Just eat, OK? Do you mind?

Speaking of "tongue,"

With Stenzl and Irmi

they were kissing when a bullet

entered the back of his neck,

went through his tongue, through her tongue,

and came out the back of her neck.

The heat of the bullet

caused the tongues

to fuse together.

They had to be cut apart.

Oh that's disgusting.

Not true, though...

I fibbed... Finish eating.

Somehow we gotta get back into enemy headquarters

and sneak into Irmi's flat

to see if there are any documents lying around.

Sure, I'm gonna get shit-faced again.

What's the use? The cops were already there.

Those idiots never find anything.

Is Junior on a run at the moment?

I dunno.

There, finished. Spanking clean in and out.

Yeah?

Dust.

You wouldn't know this,

having spent the last 50 years alone in a jungle in Japan,

but someone has to tell you sometime:

WWII is over... no doubt about it.

Who won?

Go to hell.

Come in...

The boss is on a run.

Good.

Here, a little gift.

That's so sweet of you.

Yeah, I'm leaving end of this month.

- I heard. - Just wanted to

say it was nice working with you.

This colleague, did he

leave a long time ago?

Mr. Jaeger?

Yes, a few years back.

Did he switch to the Rettungsbund?

Why would you think that? No, early retirement.

Looks strong here.

Oh that was before his accident.

Accident?

You'd better ask him personally.

Do you think I could get his address?

Hello.

Never saw you before.

I'm new, that's why.

Ah, a greenhorn...

Why do you want Heinzi?

I want to ask him something.

Don't you know he can't speak anymore?

Well, you can try.

On a good day he understands a little.

This gentleman is from the Kreuzretter.

Mr. Jaeger?

You used to know Irmi, is this correct?

What kind of question is that? She was his girl.

Why do you want to know this?

Junior asked me to do a little snooping.

I used to be a cop.

Ah, you were a police officer, I see.

Heinzi was a mechanic before becoming a paramedic.

They were so happy together.

I always told him: you hang onto this one.

That was

before the accident.

And then she left him?

Not at all, it was touching how she took care of him.

Wait... Irmi stayed with him until the very end?

Yes, of course.

She believed she had to help get justice for him.

As if he could appreciate that in his state.

What about the accident?

You don't know that either?

Oh right, you're the greenhorn.

Hold on, I'll show you something.

Heinzi always took care of the small repairs himself.

One day he and a colleague were

fixing an exhaust pipe.

And you do it in a shaft, with the car above

so someone can get down under it.

Anyway, his colleague's screwdriver slipped.

See.

Half a cm to the right

and he would have come away with just a broken nose.

And this colleague, is he still working for us?

He's dead.

The German.

Yes.

Well, champ, who'd we just visit?

No idea who you just visited, sorry.

He has an arrest warrant, I presume...

Hey, any idea what this is?

- Dates. - Very clever.

And what do they tell you?

It'd help if I knew whose it was.

It was found on the nurse who gave the hospital director

- that lethal kiss. - Irmi?

Well, what?

What can they be?

Hairdresser... Dent I st...

Ovulation.

Awfully big intervals for ovulation...

One of these days I'll tear off your balls, creep.

Headquarters calling S2355.

Vehicle 740, come in.

Call standby.

Standby, EMT Munz.

Why are you on duty?

Subbing for Berti.

He left a message for you.

He went to lunch and if he wasn't back by 4,

- He said to call you. - Yeah?

I don't understand.

Just spit it out.

He said to say he may be getting shit-faced.

Well, now...

Who sent you, huh?

Who's behind you?

You are, right?

So, you like this?

Then

we'll keep it up all night.

Junior said

for me to find out

how you got our radio code.

Bullshit. There is no radio code.

I'll count to 3. Either you answer or I shoot.

- One. - I know nothing.

- Two. - Please don't.

Three.

Guess the dork really doesn't know.

Cheers!

Same procedure as before.

And bring over a tarp.

I think this one's about to puke. Bye.

How much are you up to now?

Approximately 62,000 km.

"Approximately"?

The city's giving us 6 schillings per km, so please

Logbook... and keep track exactly.

I think I'm gonna die.

I was as young as you once, but never as stupid.

Don't you puke this way!

What are you doing?

No, not here, c'mon we'll go back outside.

- What's that? - Film

processing pick-up slip.

Berti was having a hard time saying it,

I might as well help him out:

"film processing pick-up slip" - tongue twister.

But the "film processing pick-up slip" was all

he found in Irmi's apartment.

Here are your papers.

Good-bye.

Sorry, can I show you something?

Please leave my office now.

Look... It's really quite interesting.

Let's assume

here's the bullet that killed Stenzl.

And here's Stenzl.

And here's Irmi.

And now,

watch this.

What am I looking at?

Physics.

What?

The murderer fired at Stenzl,

but the idea was for the bullet

to pass through Stenzl

and hit Irmi.

Pretty sick.

But assume we're dealing with

a pretty sick mind.

It might devise this plan to cover its tracks, eh?

I think the one with the sick mind is you.

Dextrose?

Before you go?

Something wrong?

I'm on duty.

Well? Did you get promoted?

- What's that? - Irmi's photos.

Good looking,

but other than that, just vacation shots.

Congratulations.

- You win. - What?

A sub. Call me a cab, quick.

Buttinger!

Mama?

Mr. Jaeger?

I have a few questions.

Look what I have.

Vacation shots of you and Irmi.

You look better than usual.

C'mon, open up, please.

I just want to talk to you.

Open up.

Jaeger, I'm on your side.

Mr. Jaeger, one last question.

Would you accept dextrose from Junior?

I didn't.

If I threaten to switch services, I get the boss himself.

Mrs. Rupprechter, if only I could pick you up every day.

My, how charming he's being again.

With the war in Yugoslavia, Bosnia got donations,

and we ended up empty-handed.

That sucks.

What can you do?

It was Junior's idea to form a special unit.

The German and I would ride with...

What do you call a woman whose spouse dies?

Widow.

Rich widows. We rode with the rich widows,

- and courted them. - That worked?

No, not really.

Maybe 1 out of 10 ever left us something in her will.

And one day

the Rettungsbund was close to passing us up.

Junior was about to crack.

What are you doing?

A patient in an ambulance will sign anything.

Instead of the usual forms to sign, we gave them their wills.

Aha, and then?

With this method the Kreuzretter stayed No. 1 for 2 years.

But the Rettungsbund

scored Watzek Concrete as their sponsor.

And our old widows were taking so long to die.

What do we call the easy runs?

- Shithouse runs. - Shithouse runs.

A diabetic had acute hyperglycemia. Junior

administered glucose instead of insulin.

It can't be traced in an autopsy.

Nobody notices needle marks because there are so many.

All you find in the blood is glucose, which is normal.

920 to emergency!

Patient with an acute 27!

Arrival in approx. 2 minutes.

Just before death the German administered insulin.

Of course after

it was already too late.

When they started with

the shots, that was too much.

Junior said if I wanted out, it was no problem.

A week later the German's screwdriver slipped.

What a coincidence.

Here, right.

Left.

I kept telling her, "Please, forget it."

But she wanted to raise money for that damn American special clinic.

She wanted data on

all the diabetics who died en route to the hospital,

and who was driving at the time...

She wanted from Junior, too.

Blackmail.

Before she died, she found a copy

of the will of an especially generous sponsor.

Berti? Pick me up in Alt-Erlaa,

Mrs. Rupprechter needs us...

Rupprechter? In the morgue?

What?

Died today - acute hyperglycemia.

It's me Brenner. I have a stupid question. Do you time?

Jaeger's mother called again.

Why? He's done with his therapy.

But a driver showed up

for the 2nd time, one she didn't recognize.

Well, it's not that simple.

First you need to install this.

Do you need to unpack it?

Keep the change.

- It's easier with this. - Yeah,

I hope I can do it.

Just stick it in.

The boss isn't in.

I'll be quick. I just have to...

But Mr. Brenner.

Turn it off,

stick it in,

turn it on.

Who do we have here?

Now's the moment to decide

if we're on the wrong or right side, eh?

Of course.

Sit down.

Here!

740 return to HQ immediately!

740 return to HQ immediately!

740 to headquarters.

WWII is over, we won't be returning.

Headquarters to all vehicles!

Who knows the location of 740?

680 to headquarters. Shall I report 740's location if I see him?

Affirmative.

Here 740, we know the location of vehicle 740.

Give me your location.

Mistelbach.

Bastard.

Can I see that page?

KL.

Headquarters to K1.

Who's K1?

Kreuzretter 1, means Junior.

K1, please contact headquarters immediately.

Is everyone out there deaf?

HQ... observe radio discipline.

"Full of pain and scorn..."

What's going on?

What's going on today?

Why it's Junior.

The boss himself, pardon.

Please, call me Junior.

But he doesn't have therapy today.

How is he doing?

On each date a patient died of hyperglycemia.

And who was driving?

Gross and K1 were always there.

There you have it.

He might not respond to the new therapy,

but the professor said we should definitely give it a try.

Did you hear, Heinzi? A new therapy.

And now?

We're done for today.

Chocolate I strawberry, right?

Convalescence takes time.

One has to be patient.

I'm sure you'll be better soon.

Look at that.

You're making real therapeutic progress.

It's incredible.

You call for help,

but in fact you are saying:

"Come, sweet Death."

I just don't trust rescue workers.

You didn't try firefighters.

Same difference.

They assault you with guns, or hoses

or ram a ladder through your window.

It's always violent.

Excuse me. Could you give me a hand?

Sit!

Murderer,

murderer!

It's those charlatans.

They turn patients against academic medicine.

Murderer.

Calm down now,

people just want to help you.

When will it end! First the women revolted, then kids,

then foreigners and now invalids.

At least dogs still obey.

Headquarters to K1.

Headquarters to K1.

K1 come in please.

Headquarters to K1.

- K1 come in please. - K1 here, in 590.

K1, please call

headquarters by phone.

What is it, Buttinger?

Paramedic

2 slash 18

slash 5 slash 14 slash 14 slash 5 slash 18

was in your office.

Don't irk me. Do you think I remember

the old code names?

Brenner?

Affirmative.

Suspend him immediately.

Roger, 590.

K1 in 590 seen on Alt-Erlaa-Street.

What now?

Gotta save someone from being rescued.

Junior!

You're an asshole.

Jaeger lives in Alt-Erlaa.

And Junior is there with the 590.

We had a romantic ride once.

It's just the air's bad in there.

You must have got shifts switched.

I remember how that was. Heinzi would fume

when two people were given the same run.

Anything wrong?

Let me have a puff.

740 to K1.

What're you gonna do when you're done?

Where'll you go?

Be reasonable, stop and tell us your location.

This is insane.

Double line, tram tracks,

through street... Not bad.

What are you waiting for?

Don't lose him! Keep going,

keep going, damn it!

830 to headquarters, location Altmannsdorfer Street 42.

Roger, 830.

We have to call the police.

He's telling us something.

830 to headquarters, location

Altmannsdorfer Street 49.

Roger, 830.

- Return to HQ. - Berti.

He's usually bad about giving his location.

I'm calling.

Roger, 830. Return to HQ.

Come on!

Roger, 830. Understood! Return to HQ!

Shit!

Now I've got you!

Come here.

Open up! Come out right now!

What is this?

- What an idiot. - Are you crazy?

Fuck!

Shit, we're being followed.

And they keep running reds.

There he is! Junior.

That does it.

Attention! This is the police!

Stop immediately!

If I give gas, so will he, and Jaeger dies sooner.

But if you go slower, he'll die slower.

Ever shot a gun before?

Give it to me.

Maybe I can break the window.

What if you hit him?

Look out!

He's alive, Brenner!

Quick!

Won't they open?

Mr. Jaeger? Can you hear me?

Breath deeply now, OK.

They won't open.

Help!

Boss, what's going on?

Berti to headquarters.

Help!

Berti to headquarters!

Come in! Shit!

Give up!

Stop it!

Enough gas!

Enough gas!

Stop it!

Thanks. Would you call me a taxi?

- We'll take you. - Thanks,

I'd rather not be rescued anymore.

Just say you had a hunch,

it was headed right for you,

so you fired, got it?

Right, you just have to say that you

felt threatened.

Yeah, we'll write it up so it matches.

Now, you've got to keep in mind

when 2 people almost kick the bucket,

it's easy for a certain sentimental mood to develop,

feelings and all.

It's because you almost

lost your life that you start believing in it again.

Dreams, hopes,

plans, and and and...

What a surprise! I'm glad you came.

- Get well soon. - Thank you.

What a nice gentleman.

But I always say: "Time heals all wounds."

That goes for private affairs same as for rescue work in general.

And believe it or not,

after the Donauinselfest the Kreuzretter kind of forgot things.

I don't mean, completely,

just no use dwelling on the past; more important: future.

Stupidest idea I ever heard.

- What? - At your age,

taking up smoking,

the absolute stupidest...

I'm not going to start; I just want to try one.

Everyone starts by just trying one. And one more and...

No...

I don't agree.

Why should we

play taxi for bums?

They're called homeless people.

What, homeless...

Bullshit.

Give a homeless person a home,

and what does he do? He burns it down the first day.

Brenner, tell you what,

I won't try one as long as you don't smoke either.

What kind of crazy idea is that?

I say "bum."

You're such a jerk.

It fits better. You know because

a bum sits on his lazy bum all day,

he doesn't want a home.

Then say "bum," I don't care.

I will.

It'll be a sad day when a

person can't say what he thinks.

You always do, which is sad, too.

Got a problem with that?

Leave Berti alone.

He's OK.

Berti, have a drink.

The men kind of missed the German... and the camaraderie.

And don't tell anyone,

but they missed Junior, too... for the moral.

Because women in uniform is something

we never had under Junior.

And that lately the civie geeks were becoming heroes

was proof of how crazy the new times had gotten.

I'll tell you,

if there's a Hell,

the German is looking up at you

and going: "You're alright."

Hey, cut that out.

I'm through with men.

That's good.

What's that weird tune you're whistling?

- It's a song about Jesus. - A song about cheeses?

Songs about cheeses and strawberry daiquiris

just don't go.

A song about Jesus.

About Jesus.

You can whistle a church song just like that...

That's blasphemous.

Whistle it again.

No.

Please.

- Forget it. - To see if I know it.

"Come, Sweet Death."

Huh?

"Come, Sweet Death," is the song title.

The title's "Come, Sweet Death."

You've been watching me

drink strawberry daiquiris

while you whistle "Come, Sweet Death"?

Sorry.

You think I like that?

You drink plenty of beer,

we'll see who Death comes to first.

Bet it's me.

Better believe it.

I know I never wanna be

Young again.

Brenner was a very complex person.

Klara called him a few times, but

nothing doing. With so much stress

he just didn't have time.

Sometimes men's pride can take on proportions! Unbelievable.

For Angelika, though, he suddenly had plenty of time.

"So how about a walk," and that kind of thing.

Actually, now's later, eh?

You know, 'cause,

'cause one time you said...

Before you said later, which is now, eh?

Oh? Really?

But Brenner didn't give up easily.

Even: "I'll help you look," when Angelika told him

she once lost 5 schillings out there,

a childhood trauma so to speak.

But whether they found her 5 schillings,

or a 5-schilling piece someone else might have lost,

or whether they found anything at all,

that we'll never know for sure.

Maybe we should look for it now...