All language subtitles for Barnaby Jones s08e14 The Killing Point

Barnaby Jones, a QM production, starring
Buddy Edson. Also starring

Lee Merriweather, Mark Schera, with
guest stars

Jeffrey Lewis, Joshua Bryant,

Randy Oaks, Bo Kayser,

Charles McCauley.

Tonight's episode, the killing point.

Mr. Gannis.

Oh, Mr. Harmon.

You're right on time.

I left my watch in the repair shop, but
you look to me to be a punctual man, so

I make it to be 4 .30.

Precisely.

Now, perhaps you'll explain the purpose
of this cloak -and -dagger rendezvous.

You were hired for a very simple bit of
detective work. Did you find the girl?

Ah, Ace LeBron.

Well, the fact of the matter is, I...

I found a good deal more than the guy.

Your dress will suffice. Here's your
$300 final payment.

Well, thanks, but no thanks.

That was the agreement.

$200 to start, the balance when you
found it.

Yeah, sure, I know that, but the fact of
the matter is that I don't think you've

been, shall we say, purely honest with
me, Mr. Harlan. Now, what I'm trying to

say is that that little blonde, I think,
disappeared with a lot more than Mr.

Kirkland's heartstrings.

My employer's motivation for finding the
girl is of absolutely no concern to

you. You're absolutely half right, Mr.
Harmon. Mr. Kirkland's sex life doesn't

titillate me at all, but his reputation
as a millionaire art collector does

stimulate my interest a little bit. Get
to it, Gannis. I detected a note of

extortion in your voice when you called.

Hey, is that any way to talk to somebody
who's trying to do you a favor?

You're lucky I'm the honest type.

Sit down a second.

Now, the way I heard it was that a
certain priceless object that

from Mr. Kirkland's private collection
could change hands for a million bucks.

Now, the fact that this wasn't reported
to the police leads me to believe the

voice that it was hot in the first
place.

How much is this additional favor going
to cost?

Oh, I think with a thorough confidential
investigative work like this, it's

going to be worth...

Precisely $100 ,000.

I'll have to discuss this with Mr.
Kirkland, of course. Oh, yeah, yeah,

But I wouldn't discuss it too long.

Because if this girl and the million
-dollar, whatchamacallit, she skipped

country, we're both losers, right?

Oh, thanks.

Thanks a lot.

It's okay.

It's okay. Some mugger in the park.

Thanks a lot.

It's okay.

Thank you.

Here's a list of the stolen articles
with the serial numbers. Hmm, good.

All right, now, all the rest of it is in
here, Bornaby. Pity cash receipts and

fingerprints. Ah, you are a tidy little
twosome.

We ought to wrap this case in a ribbon
before we turn it in to the insurance

company.

Anybody home?

Ah, there you are.

The Jones family.

Well, here's Wally Gannis, your friendly
photographer, coming to take your

picture. I think I'll line you up there
by the wind up with the pretty.

One in the middle. What, are you hurt?

That's nothing, just a little... What's
with the furniture?

Look, leave me alone, will you? It's
just a nick, Barnaby. I need your help.

You need a doctor.

Get the paramedics. No, Betty.

Now, wait a minute. J .R., it's okay. I
walked up here.

Well, come on, Wally, out with your
story or you'll be telling it on the way

the hospital.

All right. All right, listen.

Now, I've done some things for you in
the past, right?

Time's a -wasting, Wally.

Well, so, I'm just about to collect $300
for locating this girl who skipped out

on a bad check when this guy takes a pot
shot at me.

Won't do.

Nobody shoots their way out of
insufficient funds.

Come on, would I lie to you?

Yes, unless you changed in the last
week.

So here it is. You know the millionaire
who lives down in Pasadena, J. Latimer

Kirkland? Kirkland? Yeah, he's the art
collector, isn't he?

I wouldn't know about that, but I do
know there's this young hairdresser. He

slips around and goes out and clips his
locks every Monday and Friday.

And maybe a little... Close your ears,
Betty. Maybe a little hoop -de -doo. Who

knows? Anyway, she's turned up missing,
and Kirkland wants a pound.

Why does he want her pound?

I don't know. Maybe he wants to give
her...

A bunch of roses or a diamond bracelet.
Maybe his hair's coming down on his eyes

for $300, I don't ask.

How about it, Barnaby?

Well, it's not my type of case, Wally,
but if you need a loan to tide you

over... No, no.

No, it's fine. I'm okay.

It's just that the fact is your
reputation is sort of at stake.

Barnaby's reputation?

Yeah.

Well, I had to tell him that I worked
for you. And I have, you know, over the

years. And that's how I got the job.

Wally, one of these days you're going to
lie yourself six feet under.

You'll do it?

Yes, if you'll sit down and wait quietly
until the paramedics get here.

I'm not going to have a partner of mine
dying of bee sting.

I suppose that you were taking care of
this, Alex.

Really, it's getting so I can't trust
you with the simplest matters without

finally having to take care of myself.

Fromage, Mr. Jones.

The brie is particularly tasty.

Oh, thank you. No.

I'm sorry, Mr. Kirkland. I wasn't aware
there was any difficulty.

Apparently there is a difficulty or Mr.
Jones would not be here.

Oh, no trouble exactly, Mr.

Kirkland. You see, my associate, Mr.

Gannis, is following one direction in
this case, and I thought that I would

pursue another. It might speed things up
a little.

Really, I should think it would be easy.

An attractive young lady, she must have
a multitude of friends and acquaintances

who would know where she could be found.

Unless for some particular reason she
didn't want you to find her.

What possible reason could come to mind?
I can think of none at all.

Well, for instance, you live here
surrounded by a veritable candy store of

beautiful things, which might tempt some
young lady if she couldn't afford them

on her own.

Yes. Yes, it's a very understandable
suspicion, I presume, but no, no.

It's inconceivable. As a matter of fact,
Esther was quite infatuated with me. I

think she might have been just a bit
overwhelmed by my attentions to her.

a charming little thing, quite a notch
above the others.

We used to enjoy quiet suppers together.

Right here.

I called her Ursula, my little bear.

From the Latin, Ursus, bear.

You understand?

I like to indulge people who give me
pleasure.

Now, Mr. Jones, if you're looking for a
direction to pursue, I might suggest

that it would be someone who resented
her fondness for me.

A jealous lover, perhaps?

It's my only fear.

Of course, I have no idea of continuing
a permanent relationship with the lady.

I merely wanted to see her one more time
to make sure she'd come to no harm.

You did tell all this to that Gannis
person, did you not?

No, sir, I didn't go into your personal
reasons for wanting to find her. Perhaps

I should have. It might have helped.

A picture of the young lady might help.
Do you have one?

As a matter of fact, I do.

In one of her more impulsive moments...

Ursula made me a present of this rather
intimate memento.

Could you knock or something?

Every time somebody walks down that
hall, I break a nail.

There's a knock.

Here's your something.

Nick. Hmm?

When are we going to get out of here?
Soon.

You've been saying that for two days
now.

Yeah. Well, uh, suddenly we're hot.

We are both very hot, Ursy, baby.

You told me the police weren't going to
be involved.

It's not the police. Some private snoop
in baggy pants is looking for you.

He's connected us.

And he's been making the rounds of every
respectable fence in town.

What do we do now?

I wish I'd never let you talk me into
letting you steal that thing. Hey, come

on. You look on the bright side, baby.
My research was right. That thing was

exactly what I thought it was.

And Kirkland came by it illegally.

Or he wouldn't have hired some private
cop to get it back.

You're so smart.

You stole something too expensive to
sell.

I wish I hadn't listened to you in the
first place.

You just used me.

You made me play after that old coot
just so that you could... I don't know,

Steve.

Oh, come on, baby.

Taking something from somebody it
doesn't belong to isn't stealing.

It's just a change of possession, right?

Look, Los Angeles may not be able to
fence it, but I've put out feelers.

you know, guys in New York, Miami,
people with piles of cash just waiting

launder it on a deal like this. That
little trinket we've got is worth a

bucks to somebody, baby.

It's worth parking it in this bed a few
more days, huh?

Huh?

Yeah.

Boy, this stuff tastes like plastic.

I can see why.

You just ate the plate.

You tell the doctor I don't belong here.

That makes two of us.

Lie down before you pull your stitches.

out to see J.

Latimer Kirkland.

Oh, yeah?

What's he like?

How does he talk to his trained bear,
Alex Harmon?

He peels grapes, sips wine, and lies
through his teeth, I have a feeling.

I don't know how these guys expect us to
do any job for them if they don't tell

us the truth.

I know that you are an incorrigible con
man, but you're also a pretty good

detective. You got close enough to the
truth for somebody to take a pot shot at

you.

Hey. Shh.

Now, I told the cops that some lame
brain winged me in the park trying to

me. They took the bullet and they went
away happy, so... Well, if you want to

keep your secret, why don't I go back to
the office and forget this whole thing

and then we'll all be happy? Wait a
minute. Now, just wait a minute. Okay,

got me. I'm lying here wounded and
helpless.

I'll tell you what I think I know.

Okay, but remember, I'm going to check
it out.

Right. Well...

You know how my mind works.

My first thought is that this sweet
little Ursula Brown swiped something

the old bird, so I go around checking
all the fences.

Now, they ain't seen her pretty face,
but her boyfriend, Nick Fallon, has been

making the rounds.

Nick Fallon, that has a faint ring. Very
smooth second story, man. Now, I put

him and her together. I figured the two
of them lifted something.

Very heavy and very hot from old man
Kirkland. Too heavy for any regular

to handle anyway.

What makes you think it's hot?

Well, if it wasn't, a big taxpayer like
Kirkland, he would have called the

police.

Maybe it's time us little taxpayers
called the police.

What good would that do? Old man
Kirkland would just deny it.

And then he'd go about trying to find
the girl and the article in question on

his own. Now, you and I got to do this,
Barnaby.

Don't you see? It's a matter of
principle now.

Okay, you stay in bed here. I don't want
you to get up and strain your

principles in case I find the girl and
whatever it is.

I knew I could count on you, Barnaby.

Really, Barnaby, you have no cause to
come in here time and again with these

defamatory insinuations that I run some
kind of illicit trading post.

I think the word is fence, Marley.

Now, I could bring the police in. They
insinuate a lot louder than I do.

Two isolated incidents.

I came by the round tree emeralds and
those Shakespeare folios in complete

innocence. Glad to hear it.

Did a Nick Fallon...

innocently try to sell you anything
within the last few days.

This is not a police matter.

Not yet.

Well, Fallon wouldn't say.

But he does his homework well. He is a
very astute student of collectibles.

Yes, I understand he does his collecting
at night.

Well, I wouldn't know about that.

All I know, well... He said the item was
a national treasure of Italy.

Worth a million.

You know I wouldn't touch such an
article, Barnaby.

Meaning you couldn't lay your hands on a
million dollars soon enough to please

Fallon. There you go again.

Did anyone else ask you about this
little treasure?

Yes. That despicable Walden Gannis.

In fact, he said he was working with
you.

But I didn't believe him, not for a
minute.

Well... you've always got to add a
little something to or subtract a little

something from anything that Walden
tells you.

Where do I find this Nick Fallon? Well,
operators like Fallon don't have

addresses in the usual sense.

They seem to shun numbers.

But I think you might arrange to get in
touch at a bar that he frequents called

the Red Chimney.

Thank you, Marlene.

She should report back for work. Would
you please have her call that number?

like to make an appointment.

Thank you.

Now, did I just hear you try to make an
appointment with a hairstylist?

If she clipped Jay Latimer Kirkland for
a million dollars, I'd like to have a

look at her scissors.

What did Wally say?

Dear Wally didn't say so much as a
goodbye when he walked out of the

this afternoon.

That son of a gun.

I could have bet on it.

He got you to do his work for him. And
now he's going to follow you around and

wait until you're close and then slip in
and take all the credit.

It's not the credit I'm worried about.
It's that Italian trinket.

Wally has been looking all his life for
the pot at the end of the rainbow.

Oh, no. You don't think Wally... Will
you look at that.

My, my, my. Is there a wedding
someplace?

Look out. Small talk.

I'm in town for two days.

If Fallon wants to do business, I'll be
here at two o 'clock.

If he's not on board, the good chip
lollipop sale's out.

Not bad, did it, eh?

Fallon Jacoby.

At least the bartender at the Red
Chimney Bar bought it. He agreed to

Fallon for me.

I don't suppose he told you Fallon's
address.

I asked.

He laughed.

I pretended like I really didn't expect
to find out.

Well, if we know that Nick Fallon spends
time at that bar, there's bound to be

others. that it can figure it out, too.
Like Wally Gannis. Now, I think he was

around the bar asking for Fallon from
what the bartender tells me.

That could mean that whoever took a shot
at Wally is also familiar with that

watering hole, so be careful.

I've already got my pitch worked out,
Barnaby, but if Fallon shows up and he

wants to do business, you're going to
have to be right in the middle.

Is he here?

Thank you, Harry.

I'm Nick Fallon.

You looking for me?

Sit down. I'll find out.

Harry says you wanted to see me.

What about him?

I'm interviewing candidates for the
thief of the month. I thought you might

in the running.

Yeah? Who says?

Oh, look, I don't have time for 20
questions.

My people are interested in antiques.

When Marley Nettle runs across something
he can't sell in his shop, we hear

about it.

Now, why don't you tell me just what is
so special about you that I should give

you a million dollars of my boss's hard
-earned lifetime collection of small

bills, hmm?

Well, you know, you don't look like a
bad man.

That's because I'm good at it.

I got two hours, Mr. Fallon, to catch a
plane, which really doesn't give you too

much time to impress me at all.

Now, you want to play show and tell or
not?

Okay.

Okay, I'll give you a call in ten
minutes, and I'll tell you where you can

the merchandise.

Bring the money.

You're the nervous one. You pick the
place.

Don't get hysterical. I'm going to bring
a friend.

No way.

Relax.

I wouldn't know a Grecian urn from a
flower pot.

I just want our expert to appraise it
and tell me what kind of a bargain we're

going to get.

All right.

Just don't try to be funny.

Learn to trust, Mr. Fallon.

If you prove reliable, we might do
business again someday.

I'd like you to keep an eye on him. I'll
be giving you a call in a couple of

minutes, and I'd like to know if he
talks to anyone.

Okay? Sure.

I ain't going anywhere.

Thank you, Harry.

We're in, aren't you, baby?

In an hour, you can start packing.

You're going bye -bye at the
millionaire.

My food's on the level?

What did I tell you? All I'd do is put
out the word and they'd come running.

Here, hold the beer.

We're attending.

Yeah, like a mummy.

Hold on.

Hey, Mr. Jacoby.

Phone call.

Thank you.

Hello?

Yeah, it's me. I'm listening. Just keep
talking.

At Griffith Park, the old zoo.

You know where that is?

Don't worry. We'll be there. Just don't
keep us waiting.

Right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah,

this is Harry.

Sounds to me like you might be
interested in the old zoo at Griffith

The one they closed down some years
back.

There's no one here.

They might be around that turn.

All right, you stay here.

I'll take a look.

You think he believed you? He wanted to
believe me, Barnaby. He'll be there.

He's expecting a million dollars.

We're going to be a big disappointment,
so watch your step. All right, if he

produces the goods, you get the drop on
him. I call Lieutenant Biddle, one, two,

three.

You do talk a good game behind those
dark glasses, Jedediah.

cold feet.

Well, if he was here and gone, I think
he's going to be back. The way he

on the phone, you're just about the only
game in town.

Better call Lieutenant Fiddle.

Who could have known Barnaby? He gave me
directions over the phone.

Jedediah, are you sure nobody could have
been following?

There's only one person I know that
plays with matches exactly like that.

Wally Gannis.

He must have gotten here ahead of us.

Bet you've been wondering where I've
been, huh?

Walden, Gannis, I could throttle you.

I think I can guess where you've been.

First, you took a walk out of the
hospital.

Yeah, well, you know me. I can't stand a
confinement. I go buggy in no time

behind four walls.

Well, one of those four walls is going
to be all bars unless you can come up

with a great alibi. How long were you
following Fallon?

Now, wait a minute, Walden. I arranged a
meeting with him. He'd been shocked by

the time we got there. He died before we
could get help.

He was alive?

Did he say anything?

No, but this told us a lot. This is one
of your matches.

Now, do you want to tell me how it got
there, or do you want to tell Lieutenant

Biddle? Come on, enough with the
thumbscrews already. Now, just wait a

told you. Let me explain.

Yeah, I did get a fix on Fallon, so I
followed him. But then I lost him in

neighborhood. I couldn't tell where he
went. But then I saw him again getting

into his car, and he took off.

Again, I followed him to Griffith Park.
Again, I lost him by the zoo. But the

next time I saw him, he was laid out.

And I thought he was dead. Cross my
heart, or I would have called for help.

Wally, I'd like to believe you, but you
don't make it easy.

Oh, come on. Will you follow me?

Would I have shot Fallon and then taken
all his stolen property and come in here

and bared my soul?

Yes, if you thought you could get away
with it.

Yeah, you're probably right.

You got a mind like a steel trap,
Barnaby, but I'm telling the truth.

Well, if he doesn't have this million
dollar whatever it is, maybe Kirkland

it back his own way.

And there's only one person I know of
who could tell it that.

Right back where we started, the girl,
Ursula Brown.

Kirkland residence.

Mr. Kirkland's in the garden at the
moment. Miss Brown?

Yes.

Would you tell him I'd like to talk to
him? It's really important.

This is Alex Harmon, Ursula. I think
perhaps I'm the one you want to talk to.

I know all about the stolen property. Do
you have it?

Yes, I've got it. I didn't want a thing
in the first place.

All right, I believe you.

Now, you listen to me, Ursula. There's
absolutely no way you can dispose of

that. Do you understand me?

That's why I'm calling.

I don't want it, I tell you.

I've had enough.

You return it to me, and I'll pay you
$25 ,000, no questions asked.

Is that satisfactory?

What?

$25 ,000?

Fifty, then.

Not one penny more.

Agreed? Sure.

All right.

But you better not try to kill me, Mr.
Harmon.

Or I just might leave a letter or
something behind telling everybody how

killed Nick.

With names and everything.

And you won't be able to talk your way
out of that, no matter how hard you try.

Now, now, now, calm yourself. I have no
idea of what you're talking about.

Whatever trouble you and somebody else
may have got yourself into is of no

concern to me.

I simply want the object returned.

I think I'm being quite generous.

All right?

All right.

But not there. I won't come there.

Any place of your choosing, my dear.

What about Birdland Woods? Do you know
where that is?

Out near the reservoir?

I think I can find it.

I'll meet you there.

Just you.

I'll be there in one hour.

My, my, my, Mr. Jones.

First there was one detective, then
there were two.

Now there are three. Are you sure you
aren't embellishing this matter just a

little too much? I don't think so, Mr.
Kirkland.

You know a Nick Fallon?

No, I'm afraid not. Why?

Nick Fallon was Ursula's boyfriend.

I never pried into her past.

We're not talking about the past, Mr.
Kirkland.

He was still her boyfriend up to about
three hours ago. Just who is this

He's a thief.

Second story, Matt. He got his hands on
some very expensive art object and

wanted to sell it for a million dollars.

I set up a meeting to see it, but by the
time he got there, he'd been shot and

killed.

Shot and...

You mean murdered?

Are you really that surprised?

What do you mean?

Are you sure that the art object doesn't
belong to you?

Isn't that the reason you're so anxious
to find your affectionate little

hairdresser? How dare you?

How dare you?

My dear little bear, Ursula would never
be involved in such an evil conspiracy.

No, Mr. Jones.

It's obviously you who are using this
criminal fantasy to mask your own

ineptitude. If you cannot perform a
simple task like finding a missing girl,

then say so.

Submit your bill.

I'll find someone with the competence to
do the job.

Oh, you'll get the bill, Mr.

Kirkland, after we find your little
bear.

Barnaby, he's obviously lying through
his teeth.

That means the truth is they still don't
have what they want.

Well, if he's still after the girl, then
she must have it. She may have taken

that trip out to the old zoo with
Fallon.

Fallon walked into the trap. Ursula must
have left before the killer got what he

wanted. Here to tell you, we don't want
to get the reputation for ineptitude.

Have you visited that beauty parlor that
sent Ursula Brown out on a house call?

No, not yet, Barnaby. But her best
friend should be coming on duty just

now, and I don't want to be late for my
appointment.

You don't have an appointment.

Laurie, Laurie, look at me.

Now, have you got any compassion in your
heart? Because if you do, you're not

going to let me go out in the street
looking like this, are you?

You're kind of cute, you know.

I guess I could make you irresistible.
Give you that careless, seductive look.

Leave myself completely in your hands.
Hey, stop fooling around.

Now, I told you before, I'm not going to
tell you where she is.

Well, what about making me completely
irresistible?

You bill collectors are all alike, you
know that?

First they sent in that seedy character
a couple of days ago.

He bombed out, so now they send you.

Wait a minute, I'm not a bill collector.

I just want to talk to Ursula, really.

Well, why don't you talk to me?

I'm more available than Ursula.

This is strictly business, honestly.

A girl's private life is her own
business.

Now, I'm not going to tell you, and I
have an appointment due, so why don't

clear out?

Does this mean it's over between us,
Laurie?

See me again when you don't have another
girl on your mind.

I'll bet I could have you chasing after
me for a while.

Now out.

Goodbye, farewell.

You really want me to stay, don't you?
Just to say so.

Is there something I said to you? Where
did I go wrong?

I'm leaving.

Goodbye.

Ursula, don't be afraid.

Did you bring it?

No. Why not?

What, do you think I'm crazy or
something?

I don't want to be left dead out here in
the woods.

Where is it?

You pay me first, and then I'll call you
and tell you exactly where you can find

it. I'm not so sure I like that, Ursula.
How do I know I can trust you?

I'm going to run with the money, now
that's for sure.

And I don't want to be looking over my
shoulder the rest of my life.

I don't want Mr. Kirkland's old junk.

You can have it.

Well... There you are.

I'll expect your call within a half
hour.

Stop at the phone booth near the park
entrance and take down the number.

Call me there.

Sir, I... Aren't you going to count the
money?

No, I think you're smarter than that.

Actually, really dumb.

If you'd just shut up long enough on the
phone, you would have found out.

I was going to give it to you for free.

But thanks anyway.

What's with the phone call?

What if she double -crosses you?

What do you take me for?

Go get the car. We're going to follow
her.

She's not bad looking.

Do I have to do it?

If she makes it necessary, yes.

It says here in this credit card receipt
that you gave emergency road service to

Mr. Fallon two days ago.

Well, that's my writing.

They always complain that I make my
sevens like my nines.

How'd you come by this?

Are you a cop or something?

No, no, no, no. I just gave the
gentleman a ride, and when I let him

left his jacket in the car. I just
wanted to give him his jacket back.

Yeah, well, uh, if it fits you.

I'd keep it.

Well, you know, that's one of the flaws
in my character, buddy.

I'm honest.

Is there an address connected with that?
Yeah.

Step over to my office.

It's kind of a little joke around here.

What did you say? That was two days ago,
right? Yeah.

Yeah. There it is.

There's a dead battery. I started to
jump his car for him.

Is there an address connected with that?
Yeah, it's right there. Hey,

you want to know something?

You'd make a pretty good detective.

Me? Yeah.

You really think so? Sure.

Yeah. Thanks. Uh -huh.

Barnaby, I'm sure that that hairdresser
is in touch with Ursula. Of course, she

wouldn't tell me anything, but from what
she did say, I think that Gannis was

probably there. I just hope the number
she dialed belonged to Ursula.

You get it, Betty?

Lieutenant Biddle is not too thrilled
about giving us addresses for unlisted

telephone numbers, but there it is.

Well, that's probably it. Come on, let's
go. In exchange for that address,

Lieutenant Biddle would like to know the
whereabouts of Wally Gannis.

His ballistic reports.

show that the bullet that killed Fallon
came from the same gun that shot Wally

in the park.

Well, that's good news. At least we know
Wally didn't kill Fallon.

Well, Lieutenant Biddle wasn't bubbling
over about it. Boyling was more to the

point. He thinks that Wally filed a
false report about the mugger.

Well, since we don't hear from Wally,
except when he wants something, he's not

hanging around.

He may be way ahead of us.

Well, he shows up all the time to a
chair. Okay.

Hand it over, sweetheart.

Who are you?

Never mind that. Here, have it. Oh, no,
listen, I gotta have it. They'll kill

me. Hey, look, I don't want to have to
hurt you.

Oh, here, money. I have this money. They
gave it to me.

Here.

Hey, look, I'm just trying to help you.
It's not you they're after. It's the

package. Why do you think Kirkland hired
me in the first place to find you?

Mr. Kirkland?

Yeah, right.

Now, look.

You give me the package, I'll worry
about them, and your troubles are over,

Ursula.

Oh, Barnaby.

Just in time, it seemed.

Hey, wait a minute!

Wowee, would you look at that.

Mighty handsome.

If Mr. Kirkland denies ownership, I'm
sure the police will be glad to find the

rightful owner.

No way.

No way.

Now, come on, Wally.

Let's get serious.

I'm dead serious about this, Barnaby.

I found it. It's mine.

You can't do that.

You couldn't get out of town with this.

Don't make book on that, Barnaby. Now,
look, be a pal, will you? Just close

eyes. When you open them, I'll be long
gone.

I can't do that.

Oh, give me a break, old friend.

Look at me. I've been hustling and
scrounging around all my life and coming

empty. I've been waiting a long time for
this ticket, Barnaby.

It's a one -way ticket, so turn it back.

Wally, you asked me for help.

Yeah. Maybe that was your first mistake
because I'm not going to help make you a

thief.

You're going to have to shoot me to get
out of this room.

Don't make me do that.

Barnaby, I don't want to do that.

How far do you think you can get with
that?

Somebody will kill you for it before you
can sell it. You won't even find out

what it really is. Yeah, but it's the
Medici dagger.

Drop the piece, my man.

Let go of it.

Actually, it once belonged to the museum
in Milan.

It was stolen in World War II.

Thought to be permanently lost.

Beautiful, isn't it?

And that's why your boss, Mr. Kirkland,
ordered you to kill for it. I see you

two are still a bit confused, but it
doesn't matter.

You see, even if you know, you don't
really know. This is one of those

negotiable treasures that doesn't really
exist.

Worth a fortune, yet no one dares admit
ownership of it. And so you're going to

take it for yourself, aren't you?

That's right. The years I put in night
and day for that miser.

Never a reward, not so much as a thank
you.

When this precious trinket was stolen, I
suddenly saw the gates to opportunity

open before me.

Since the esteemed Mr. Kirkland must
deny owning it, it obviously belongs to

whomever has possession of it, which at
the moment seems to be me.

That's a dangerous piece of merchandise,
Mr. Harmon.

It already has blood on it.

Barnaby, listen, we may as well admit
it.

We've been had.

We've been set up like suckers and
played for pure patsies. Mr. Harmon, you

as well have all the chips.

I don't want anything to do with you or
your money.

Hold it! That's enough.

I didn't know you guys had company.

Barnaby and I entertain like this all
the time.

Barnaby, look at this.

Got shot again.

The Medici dagger.

Never heard of it.

Yeah, well, after the first 20 years
behind bars, Harmon and his hired gun

going to wish they never heard of it. I
suppose by now, J.

Latimer Kirkland is spending his late
cocktail hour trying to explain to

Lieutenant Biddle how he happens to have
this national treasure.

You know, Warnaby, if Kirkland hadn't
been such a cheap, penny -pinching sort

guy, all this might not have happened.
What are you trying to tell me?

What he's trying to tell you is that
he's happy that... You're his boss and

a penny -pinching skimplet. I mean, you
would take us out to dinner tonight and

not let us starve.

I heard you.

Oh, but that last part.

Hi, gang.

Guess what I heard you at a glass there.
Something about dinner. You can count

me in about it.

How's your arm?

Oh, it's okay. Good enough to cut a
tender steak.

You know, you owe me, old buddy.

I owe you?

Now, wait a minute. Hold it right there.

Just for once in your life, Wally, let's
get something straight.

By what convoluted misapplication of
logic do you figure that I owe you?

Well, sure.

Now, look, if you hadn't stuck your nose
into my case and messed everything up,

I'd be out in the street right now with
my $300 fee in my pocket.

What's the use?

I'll buy.