Original subtitles

Barnaby Jones, a Quinn Mark production, starring Buddy Ebsen.

Also starring Lee Merriweather, Mark Schera,

with guest stars Bonnie Ebsen, Ron Hayes,

B .B. Osterwald, Rick Carrott,

with special guest star Greg Evagan.

Tonight's episode, Target for a Wedding.

What do you want?

Hey, put that thing down, Tully.

Before you shoot one of us. It's me, Blue Simpson.

Don't call me Blue.

You know I'm blind as a bat.

You should have made a noise.

Let a fella know somebody's there.

Never talk with your mouth full. That's what my mom always said.

Thought you went off to Los Angeles to make a big noise in the music business.

Didn't they like your style?

And when your money runs out, style don't count for much.

What about you, Tully? How's the rock business been treating you, huh?

Oh, same old stuff. Lots of topaz, low grade.

Some pretty good Morganites, though.

Look, son.

I'm sorry things haven't gone well with you, but if you trekked all the way back

here to work for me, it's gonna have to be another time.

My little niece Lori's getting married on Sunday.

I gotta pack it in for now.

Hey, old man, this sweaty mind isn't exactly what I was thinking.

Yeah.

Well, now, lend a hand loading some of my gear, and I'll give you a lift to the

town.

Hey, how about the gold?

Been piling up much of that lately?

Gold?

What are you talking about?

Been no gold found in these parts for more than 30 years.

Hey, uh, hey, you remember this?

I keep this for good luck. Piece of that vein we hit.

Remember I got all excited and he just laughed and said it was iron pirate.

Fool's gold.

Well, that's what it is, all right.

Well, Like I said, I gotta get going.

Won't be needing any of this junk for now.

You know the thing about beggars and fools?

You know, the good Lord looks after them.

And there I was, trying to sell this piece of iron pyrite for a dollar or

And guess what?

Man told me that it was the real thing.

Real gold.

He must have been pulling your leg.

Now look.

If you're broke and you need a little money to get you by.

Oh, man.

I know this glass ain't doing you much good.

This ain't junk.

If I remember right, you kept all your best stones in here.

Turned out the fool was almost me.

All right.

You're a smart fella.

You found me out.

So there's about 60 ounces of gold dust there.

You keep it.

Fair enough?

Well, thanks, Toby.

I mean, I guess that'll save me the trouble of having to dig out enough to

for this little claim of mine here, huh?

Your what?

Look, I don't want your stuff found on my property now loaded. Oh, son, before

you do anything... Do it! ...you're going to be sorry for. Do it! Do it!

Load it up.

I know what you're figuring.

But it's not going to do you any good.

You just can't go into town and buy this property. It's not for sale.

Don't try to snow me.

I mean, this is public land.

And you know who told me that. You did.

I tell that to everybody.

Keeps them out of my business.

But I paid hard cash for this place years ago.

And if anything happens to me...

It all goes to Laurie.

Now, look, Blue.

I promise you, I'll keep quiet about this. If you just shut up.

Now, you're saying that Laurie's gonna inherit this place after you're gone.

She doesn't know it yet.

But that's the way it is, and this will I had the lawyer draw up.

So you see, what you already got out of me is all you can get.

Laurie, huh?

Boy, that, uh... That sure is gonna make whoever marries her a very rich man.

She's marrying Lester Devereaux. Everybody knows that.

Yes.

But still, you know, a lady has the right to change her mind.

What are you thinking?

You just finished loading.

Go on.

Come on, load it up.

There, Lester, that's a good place for us.

If it's going to rain on Sunday, I don't see how this little old bird's going to

stop. It's not just a bird, it's a Cheyenne rain god, isn't it?

Whatever. Well, it's not like I'm superstitious about it raining on our

day, but every little thing helps.

Not three tons.

There.

Lester, it's Barnaby!

Barnaby!

You get prettier every time I see you. I thought you and Betty and Jed and I

weren't coming down till Sunday.

Well, I heard about the trout biting, so I figured I'd sneak in a couple extra

days of fishing.

Just a lucky young man.

Oh, I'm sorry. I've told Lester so much about you. I thought you'd already met.

Congratulations, Lester. Mr. Jones, I can't tell you how happy you've made

coming down to give the bride away. Well, I guess that's what godfathers are

for.

Birthdays and weddings.

I just wish Frank were still alive so that... He could give the bride away,

it would have been the happiest moment of your father's life, as it will be of

mine.

Come on in. Aunt Grace will just die when she sees you. I'll get that. Okay,

thank you.

What's that about?

Uncle Tully. Something happen to Tully?

We don't know. He was due back at the beginning of the week, and when he

show up yesterday, Aunt Grace asked Sheriff Hamlin to look into it.

I know I might be making a mountain out of a molehill, Sheriff, but Tully's

pretty reliable about when he's supposed to come home.

It's just not like him to... Barnaby!

Pray for a handsome devil he walks right in the door.

Grace, you're looking younger every day. How do you do it? I lie a lot about my

age. Good to see you, Barnaby. Oscar, you going to empty out our trout stream

again this trip?

Well, I was kind of hoping that Tully would help me catch my share.

What's this about him being missing?

Well, the way Tully gets around missing may be a bit of an exaggeration. He's

never been this late before, Sheriff.

I take it you've got men out looking for him. We still are.

Thing is, Tully's got at least 12, 15 mine claims scattered around those

Didn't he tell you which claim he was working?

Never does.

You know how he's always keeping everything a secret, like he's afraid

had robbed those dumb rocks from him.

I'm sure Tully will be walking through that door any time now.

I'll keep in touch.

Excuse me.

I don't know what to think, Barnaby.

I'm worried something awful about Tully. Well, now, Grace, we got enough

problems to go around. You don't have to buy any more.

I think everything's being done that can be done.

Gonna get me a place on the winning side.

Cause there's a whole lot of comfort and joy on the winning side.

Losing is a bummer.

Ain't nobody yet denied.

That it's a whole lot better and nicer and warmer. And that's where I'm gonna

on the winning side.

Lou? Oh, golly, look at you.

I don't believe my eyes.

You like it?

You're beautiful.

And look at them wheels.

Yep. What happened? You left town with holes in your jeans a month ago.

Oh, yes, and I am back with lightning in my hands.

Oh, look at that.

You did it. You got that job singing on TV.

Well, not TV yet, but I did school with a big L .A. record company.

This is just a small part of the advance I got for signing a contract to cut an

album. Golly, if I don't faint.

So what are you doing back here?

How come you're not living it up like all the movie stars?

Well, Laurie, I learned something real quick about living it up.

This isn't that important.

Oh, you could have fooled me.

Just things, that's all, just things.

Pickup, clothes, nothing.

Believe me.

I mean, but there I was, sitting on the edge of this king -size bed in this

suite of rooms I rent in Beverly Hills, and thinking about how rich and famous I

was going to be, and something happened to me.

And a chill came over me, telling me how lonely I am.

Lou Simpson lonely?

Lord.

Look, I've come to realize that any girl isn't good enough anymore.

Does that give you any idea why I've come back to Culverton?

No. I don't believe it does.

Lori, the girl I'm looking for is the kind of girl that sat behind me in

Geography 2.

The one that always wore that pink ribbon in her hair.

Pretty little girl that always caught my eye.

Every time I turned around, hoping to warm myself in her smile.

Patricia McGarrity. She used to sit behind you.

No.

When that dog sat on my left on the window side.

You. You sat behind me.

Oh, my God.

Laurie?

What happened to your aunt? I can't find her.

Aunt Grace?

She's probably in the back cutting flowers.

Oh, this is Barnaby Jones, and this is... Oh, Blue Simpson, Mr. Jones.

You all right, Laurie? You're not running a fever or anything?

Oh, no, I just got a little excited about what... Blue's been telling me he

got a singing contract with a recording studio out in L .A.

Congratulations.

Tell your aunt that I've gone down to see the sheriff. I'll be back soon.

Oh, is it about Uncle Tully? Have they found him? Well, I don't know. It was a

deputy that called me. He didn't say what the sheriff had on his mind. Nice

see you, Blue.

Same.

Why'd you ask about your uncle?

Is there something wrong?

Yeah, he's five days overdue from a prospecting trip.

No kidding?

Yeah. Well, what's his interest?

Probably just helping out.

Barnaby does that kind of thing as a line of work. He's a private

A detective, huh?

Yeah, a pretty important one down in L .A.

It was more than half an hour after the deputies found the camper.

We came across Tully's body down there.

They checked the gas tank?

Bone dry.

Doesn't seem right, Oscar.

Tully knew this terrain like the back of his hand.

Why would he come this way, looking for gas, toward the mountains?

Well, these glasses were found on the ground outside the trailer, all broken

You don't tell him without his glasses.

You can still see enough to tell at their mountain.

Maybe he became sick or something.

By the time they got here, well, then he stumbled and fell down the gully, and

that's all she wrote.

No blood to speak of.

It isn't sitting well with me either, Barnaby.

Tully didn't have an enemy in the world.

Nothing seemed disturbed.

It wasn't robbery.

What other motive could somebody have to do him in?

That's what we have to find out.

Lester, I swear you're the only boy I know who could eat with two mouths.

Don't you have any respect for the dead?

Well, sure, but we gotta eat.

I'll get it.

Lester's right, child.

Sorrow will thin your bones.

You gotta keep up your strength.

I'll never believe what just walked in the door.

Glory be.

Blue Simpsons come back as an angel.

Ma 'am, Laurie, I hope you don't mind me intruding on your grief, which is truly

felt by all of us folks here in Culverton who knew and loved Tully

Oh, poor Tully.

Oh, there, there, now.

Now, you remember.

The good Lord is always standing over those with broken hearts.

That's right, Laurie.

Those are mighty nice words, Blue.

Well, old Tully leaving us is bad enough.

But I guess it can't be helped, though, having to postpone the wedding.

There, you see?

That's what everybody's thinking. We just can't go ahead with it. Now,

thought we decided.

You and Lester decided.

Decided what?

Oh, wait a minute. Now, you're not thinking about going ahead with the

at a time like this, are you?

Well, with all the relatives on both sides already coming and all the food

stuff already paid for.

There it is.

That's all you're worried about, the money.

Oh, honey.

Now, come on, Lori. Come on.

Why don't you go drown in that pretty little face and tears?

That didn't mean what he said.

Exactly.

Betty, you say that she told you the wedding is still on for this Sunday?

Oh, that's what Grace said when I called the house looking for you.

It was really a shock hearing about Tully.

Barnaby, what happened?

I'll fill you in when you get here.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Barnaby? Those tiny particles we found matted in Tully's hair. Take a look.

I think we found the motive.

Well, you're the forensic expert.

What am I looking at?

Gold dust.

There hasn't been any gold found in this entire area for... I can't remember how

long. Take a look at this one.

Looks just the same.

We found it under Tully's fingernails.

Well, I'll be a sinner again.

He was killed for gold?

Every now and then, Tully would spin me a yarn about looking for a new El Dorado

up there in his mountains.

I thought it was just a pipe dream.

Can you get me a list of the claims Tully bought in that area?

Sure.

I'd like to see what a real gold mine looks like myself.

What's the matter?

Well, look at you. You'll get my dress off full of grease.

Oh, yeah.

Did you get the blood test?

Yes.

Let's try... What?

What is it?

Oh, nothing.

I'm just a little tired, that's all.

Maury, it's not just Uncle Talia's.

Ever since Blue got back into town, something's been eating at you.

Oh, for Pete's sake, you're not jealous, are you?

You know what I mean?

I've always been jealous.

But you never got uptight about it before.

Oh, well, if it isn't that happy bride and groom -to -be.

Tell me, Blue, why is it you're always popping up all of a sudden?

Lester.

Well, as a matter of fact, I was just on my way over to see if I can trade in

this old heap.

And I spotted you two lovebirds.

Do you want something?

Yeah. Yeah, why don't you fill it up?

Might as well throw my business here away.

See that car over there?

See that car? That is the one I'm going to buy.

Lori, if I had more time, I might do this differently.

Being that I only have one day to convince you that you are doing the

thing.

I'm going to say it straight out.

Lori, I love you.

Blue, you mustn't.

It's not fair.

It's just not fair you coming back at a time like this.

Saying those things to me.

I'm only saying what you want to hear.

I know you love me, too.

I mean, uh...

What are we going to do about that?

The windows, Lester.

Make sure they're nice and clean.

All my relatives are coming from everywhere.

That's what Lester said.

And all the food and the bridesmaids' outfits.

It's all been paid for.

He said that, too.

Except for the bridesmaids.

I also said, what are we going to do about it, huh?

If I was to do what you've been thinking about, I'll blew the

embarrassment of it off.

Lori, remember that place I told you about? I've got in Beverly Hills.

I mean, it's like a palace.

When I get my princess there, I'm going to lock us in.

And I'm going to smother away all those feelings of guilt that you've got.

My kisses.

Come with me, Laurie, huh?

I don't want to listen anymore.

Where's Laurie off to?

You know how fidgety girls are when they're getting married.

You finished yet?

No, just the windows.

Hey, by the way, you know all this talk about Tully's death?

Maybe it'd be more than an accident.

You know this Jones fellow, you find anything to back it up?

Your guess is as good as mine.

He and the sheriff took off for the mountains this morning to check

out. Mountains?

What do they expect to find up there?

A gold mine.

No kidding.

Going up there to look for a gold mine.

Heck, if it was that easy, we'd all be doing it.

Yeah.

Hey, you know, my right headlight's been giving me a lot of trouble. Why don't

you check it out to see if there's a short or something, huh?

Why do

you seem all right to me?

You're a good man, Lester.

Charge it.

Yeah, let's see.

Claim 412 Cougar Peak, Area B.

That makes five sites so far today.

Still have eight to go.

This claim looks like it's been worked with in the last week.

This is it, all right.

Look here.

There's a whole pile of this in there.

It's quartz rock, laced with gold.

So is that one.

I just scraped this off of it.

It'll probably turn out to be the blood that should have been on the rock where

they found Tully.

Yes, if I was the killer, I'd move the body, too, to keep a strike like this

quiet.

Tire gauge.

What would Tully be doing with a tire gauge?

Well, it could have fallen out of the killer's pocket.

Yeah, that's possible.

Barnaby, you know, every now and then, when Tully's game leg was

hurting real bad, he'd hire on some fella from town to come out and give him

hand at digging gemstone.

And you're saying that one of these fellas also had a job in a gas station?

afraid so.

And you'll never guess who.

This is a partial print lifted from the gauge found at Tully's Cougar Peak

Plain. Where we believe Tully was murdered.

And this is a print taken of your right index finger.

Boy, you guys must sure be good if you can tell the difference.

There is no difference, Lester.

They match.

Looks like an open and shut case.

You knew about the gold. Snuck up there. What?

Today got some for yourself?

Only Tully caught you.

So you hit him with a rock.

Then after taking whatever gold he'd already mined, You moved the body so

would know where it happened.

Is that about the gist of it?

No. No, that's not what happened.

All right, son.

And you tell it in your own words.

The last time Tully went off prospecting was three months ago.

And it's true, I hired on with him.

But I only saw Morganites and Topaz.

And I didn't sneak back to kill him.

The fact is, I didn't know about the Cougar Peak climb until just now.

I guess we'll have to leave it to a judge and jury to sort it out.

I just can't understand a girl who's less interested in how pretty she's

to look tomorrow.

You're making it too tight.

I know what's bothering you, child.

It's blue, isn't it? He's the fly in the ointment.

I've told her he's just being nice.

Ow!

That's just God's way of punishing you for wanting to have your cake and eat

Well, how are you this fine day, Aunt Grace?

First, I'm not your aunt. And second... Laurie is much too busy to... Oh, boy,

isn't she the most beautiful girl in the world?

Oh,

it's like I said, Laurie.

You're a princess.

You should live in a faraway palace.

Happily ever after.

What's that?

Oh, this is supposed to be a wedding present.

It's a punch bowl.

I want you to have it anyway.

I don't know what you're implying, Blue, but you better forget it because I am

getting married tomorrow.

Yeah, well, I also brought some bad news that I heard in town.

It's about Lester.

He's been in an accident.

Lester? I've got to go to him.

What hospital's he in?

It's not a hospital.

It's a jail.

Lester's in jail?

That's right.

For the murder of your Uncle Tully.

Our Lester?

My Lester?

If you don't believe me, you call the sheriff.

It seems they got some sort of proof that he went up to Cougar Peak and did

Tully in.

Tully?

That's right. They say it was something to do with that gold he was supposed to

discover.

Hello.

Have you or Lester Devereaux locked up there for something?

Oh, my Lord.

Oh, no.

pick up you got here thank you gotta keep it clean though that alkali dust

eat the paint off in a hurry i'll do that

Gracie, you all right?

I felt a little better that time the dentist struck a nerve.

I don't know what's bothering you, but I'm afraid things are going to get a lot

worse.

I've got bad news about Lester. You mean about him going up to Cougar Peak and

killing Uncle Tully?

Does Laurie know?

Yes, she's in her room crying her eyes out.

I'd better go to her.

Grace, how did you know it was Cougar Peak?

Well, Blue was here. He said he heard all about it in town.

Helen. Oscar.

I thought we'd agreed to keep the location of the mine quiet.

until Tully's lawyer could get some people up there to guard it. Right,

I have kept it quiet.

You didn't tell anybody it was Cougar Peak?

Only my deputies.

Of course, they might have let it out.

What's the matter?

Are you on to something?

I'm not sure. I'll get back to you.

Operator, I'd like to make a collect call to area code 213.

Betty? Yeah?

Oh, you're not going to believe this. The tailor fouled up again.

Oh, no. Yeah, what can I tell you? He ripped the pillar and said it would take

little longer to fix.

Barnaby Jones, investigations may help you.

Oh, yes, I've read her. I'll accept the charges.

You know, if Barnaby has to give away the bride and his BBB, he is going to

us.

Ah, yes, Barnaby, hi.

Betty, I'm glad I caught you before you left.

Well, we were on our way. There was just a bit of a delay with your suit.

Well, that doesn't matter. The way things stand now, the wedding is off.

What happened?

The bridegroom was arrested for Tully's murder.

You've got to be kidding.

Barnaby, well, I've only met Lester once, but I can hardly believe that he's

capable of murder.

Same here, but I may have come up with something which points to another

suspect. Who is that, Barnaby? Blue Simpson. He's a local fellow who's

to be making a big noise down in Los Angeles as a country -western singer.

I've got to check him out for me the other day. All right, Barnaby, I will.

Simpson.

Get back to me as quickly as you can. Uh -huh.

Barnaby, she's locked herself in the room. She won't talk to me.

Grace, everything's going to be all right, believe me. You have the name of

lawyer that's handling Kelly's estate?

That would be Harold Foster in the Greystone building on Main Street.

I'll see you later.

Please, Laurie.

Three hours of this is enough.

Open the door.

You are in there, aren't you?

Yes, and I'm going to stay here till I die.

Oh, for heaven's sake. I'll give you ten more minutes, and then I'm breaking

down the door.

Open the window.

I won't use the front way, but I think your Aunt Grace might have punched me

before letting me in.

Why would she do that?

Because I think she knows about us.

Us?

There's nothing to know about us.

Well, sure there is.

I mean, you told her just the way you told me when you were sitting behind me

school.

With your eyes.

Look.

Maybe I did have a crush on you once.

Once?

Once.

Now look what you did to those pretty eyes.

Lester isn't worth one of them tears.

Why did he do it?

Well, you believe in fate, don't you?

Fate is what saved you from that killer.

Brought us together.

Please, don't do that.

I can't think when you do that.

Lori. Lori, look, I don't have time to court you proper.

I'm in the record company, Cole, and they want me back in L .A. by Monday.

Come with me.

Oh, Lou.

I want to take you back to L .A. with me.

He's my wife.

Wife?

Say yes.

Even if I wanted to?

Say yes.

And I'm not saying I want to.

Yes.

I couldn't run off like that.

Well, I have to wait till Sheriff Hamlin gets back.

What about the record companies? You check them all?

Mm -hmm. The big ones, Barnaby. They never heard of Blue Simpson.

I also checked with an Asian friend of mine, Sam Dunsley, who's pretty heavy

into the country and western scene.

He not only heard of Blue, he dug up a picture he left with him. Is Blue his

client? Wouldn't touch him with a ten -foot pole.

Said that Blue isn't Nashville.

Weddings and bar mitzvahs, maybe, but definitely not ready for the big time.

much for tall tales. The photograph, can you borrow it? Already have.

It's one of those 8x10 glossies with too much teeth.

I want you to take it over to the L .A. Gold Exchange and show it around.

I get your drift, Barney, but do you have any idea how many people are buying

and selling gold these days?

Yes, but not many in the form of gold dust.

I've only got Sheriff Hamlin on the radio.

He says he's going to be out in the field the rest of the day, but it's all

right to talk to the prisoner.

Thank you, Deputy.

How's Laurie taking all this, Mr. Jones?

Right as well as can be expected.

Sit down, Lester.

I bet she thinks I'm the biggest monster in the world.

Lester, I stopped by Tully's lawyer on the way over.

Did you know that Tully recently made a will leaving everything to Laurie?

Laurie? I figured it'd all go to Aunt Grace.

Isn't she his next of kin? It's not generally known outside of the immediate

family, but she wasn't a blood relative.

Grace is Laurie's aunt on her mother's side.

I'm happy for Laurie.

But it sure makes things worse for me, doesn't it? And it does occur to you...

That there are some who might say that you killed Tully knowing that your bride

-to -be would inherit a gold mine?

Is that what you think, too?

No, Lester. But I am beginning to believe that it might be the reason that

Simpson got so interested in Laurie all of a sudden.

Blue?

Excuse me.

Mr. Jones, Grace Claver is on the phone. She seems pretty excited about

something. Oh, dear.

Grace? Is she still here? She's in her room packing.

Barnaby, you're her godfather. Talk to her.

Tell her she can't run off and marry that rhinestone cowboy.

Let me be along with her.

You want some?

No, thanks.

I love strawberries.

Especially when I'm cracking up.

Uncle Tully dead.

Lester in jail for murdering him.

And I'm off to marry the man of my dreams.

You see?

I'm going off my rocker.

Laurie.

You couldn't mean more to me than if you were my own true daughter.

So, you know that I would never deliberately say anything to hurt you.

Please, try and understand, Barnaby.

You can see I'm not the prettiest girl that ever was.

But I've got the same feelings.

And all my life I've dreamed the same dreams as them.

Some...

Knight in shining armor.

Come and sweep me off my feet.

Carry me away.

Laurie, there's no easy way to say this, except just to say it.

I think Blue Simpson murdered your Uncle Tully.

Do you... Do you have proof?

No, I can't prove it.

And maybe I never will be able to prove it, but I think that Blue wants to marry

you in order to get control of your inheritance.

You know, underneath it all,

somehow I knew it wasn't me, Barnaby. J .R. was on the phone.

Jedediah? Barnaby, I'm at the gold exchange.

The second dealer I talked to recognized Blue's picture, said he was in here

late last Wednesday.

That was the day after Tully died.

Yeah, said that he paid Blue $12 ,000 for 62 ounces of gold dust.

Good work, Jedediah.

Looks like there's going to be a wedding after all.

So you and Betty come on up and don't forget to bring my suit.

She's gone.

Took her bag and went out the back way.

Laurie? To a lope with Blue?

Well, it's no use. She's already driven off.

I need a phone book.

I want the names and addresses of all the wedding chapels in this area.

One rabbit said to the other rabbit, here we are.

Oh, yeah.

Here we are.

Yep. Blood test.

License. Oh.

Good afternoon, folks, and how can I serve you? As if I didn't know.

Well, we're ready to tie the knot, and there are the papers to prove it. Good,

good, fine. It'll be a few minutes, right after I ball and chain the couple

ahead of you.

Everybody's got to make dumb jokes about getting married, don't they?

Lou, are you happy?

Truly happy?

Of course.

This is the happiest day of my life.

It's funny how things work out.

There I was, all worried about Uncle Tully's sister taking over the house,

now I'm going to live in an even nicer one with my very own true love.

Your uncle has a sister?

Yeah. She's really nice, but she wants the house, and being as she's his

blood relative, I guess she has a right to ask us to move.

Well, not if, uh...

Until he had his will made out, naming you his heir.

Then you know about the will.

Well, sure.

He told me about it himself.

When did he tell you?

I don't know. It must have been a couple months ago.

But he didn't have a will then. He didn't make one out until Aunt Grace

him to get it done just before this last trip up to the mountains.

Then it must have been someone else.

Oh, wait a minute.

Who's your Aunt Grace?

Oh, yeah.

That must have been it.

Well, I... I guess I better go freshen up.

The ladies' room was that way.

Oh, that's right.

If it never was, I think there was her.

And life is just starting for you children, yes. Oh, the best way to Vegas

Route 15.

And you can stop off at Barstow for lunch.

Be with you in a minute, sir. Good luck, you two. And remember, Louis P. Mosley

performs weddings with heart.

And you just keep moving, nice and easy.

Where are you taking me?

Does it really matter?

Lou!

Hey, you just stay right where you are, or I'll kill her. Take it easy.

Just let her go, and you can drive away.

Thanks, but I think I'll get a lot further if she comes with me.

Fine, if he killed Uncle Kelly.

Shut up!

You're gonna stay back, or she's gonna get the same thing right here and now.

All right, at least let me calm her down a little.

You don't want a panicky girl on your hands.

Laurie, remember Snowball?

Remember how he used to act when he'd get excited?

Remember?

What are you trying to pull, Jones?

Snowball, Laurie.

Remember? Hey, I'm warning you!

Stop! Hold it! Hold it, Luke!

You all right, Laurie?

Yeah. Go inside and call the sheriff.

Hey, uh... Snowball, uh... What is it?

That's a little dog I gave Laurie once a long time ago.

Puppy had the habit of getting so excited when he was being fed that

this little joke she used to say he always bit the hand that fed her.

Not much of a joke, is it?

And who gives this woman to this man?

I do.

Do you, Lester, take Laurie to be your lawfully wedded wife?

To love?

honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?

I do.

And do you, Laurie, take Lester to be your lawfully wedded husband to love,

honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?

I do.

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Harvey, we got your suit in enough time. We just got caught in traffic.

What did you get, man?

I borrowed it from the sheriff's little brother. Oh, sorry. That's all right.

Nothing can spoil the day. Nothing.

Hey,

does this count?

You bet it counts.

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