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Poppy!

Come on, let's get going.

Where are you?

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Poppy, get dressed.

Zeb will be hereany minute.

Oh. What's all that for?

The picnic for Nono and Barry--their engagement.

You have known about thisfor weeks.

Well, I can't rememberevery wingding you...

you got going around here.

It isn't a wingding.

It's for Nono.

You're going to havelots of fun today, Peter.

You know, my family throwsparties for a living.

My stepmother--your soon-to-bestep-grandmother--

well, nobody throwsa party like Beck.

(phone rings)

Open Arms-- for all of...

Oh, Zeb, where are you?

Sorry. I had an emergency.

I'm going to be a little late.

Want me to meet you at the park?

All right.

I'll wrangle up Poppy.

See you there.

Oh. Come on.

Help me get this stuffin the car.

Okay.Okay.

Oh, boy, this is heavy.

Oh, yeah?

Too heavy?

Well, uh, I can make it.

Oh, good.

I'll get the door.

Ah.You all right?

(glass clinking)

Oh, Poppy, careful.

There's crystal in there.

Crystal? At a picnic?

Well, whatbetter occasion

than for my nearestand dearest?

Oh.

Well, how can you have a picnicwithout food?

Biddy's making the food.

As always.

Oh.

Mmm-- snails in phyllo dough.

Mom, can't we ever havehamburgers and hot dogs

like normal people?

Which?

Uh, sneakers.

Beck says she wants to organizea family baseball game.

Oh, there it is.

Ow! Oh!

(chuckling)

(horn honks)

Hey. Come on, I'm starving.

All right, all right.

(chuckling)

Is there any food in there?

No. It's for the champagne.

Oh.I hope Patch

remembered the bats and balls.

So, where is everybody?

Beck did say everybodywas supposed to be here by 3:30.

Uh... Well, I guesswe'll go for a jog then.

Oh, go ahead-- just run away.

Just like every otherfamily gathering.

Poppy, thoseare for Min Foo.

Oh. Is she goingto eat the whole jar?

(chuckling)

Well, when Iwas pregnant

with Min Foo,

I used to crave dillsall the time.

Mmm.

(slurping)

Oh, Poppy!

Love it!

Oh, I want more.

(chuckling)

Hey, Min Foo, I came...So, where is my mother?

Oh, there she is.

Oh.Let me get your bag.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Hi!

Hi.Hi.

Oh, see?

She doesn't wantto be here either.

I don't know why we have tocelebrate Nono's engagement

to that... thatcorporate lawyer.

Because she's your sister.

Oh, come on.

Help me set upbefore Nono and Barry get here.

And here they are.

Hi, Barry.

Oh. Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

And youhave got to be Peter.

I'm Rebecca.

Hey, you wantto come with me

and meetyour new cousins?

No.

Oh, come on.

Okay, a toast, everybody,a toast.

To all of usgathered together

in this gloriousspring weather.

Here she goes.

To Zeb

for scopingout the site.

Cheers.

Thank you very much.

To Biddy,

for cooking

with all ofher might,

and Troy for helpingher get it right.

Um, to Patch

and Jeep for suggestingthe bats and the balls,

even though we neveruse them at all.

To Hakim and Min Foo.

In August, they're due.

But most of all,

to Nono and Barry.

Oh.

We are so delighted

that they are going to marry.

(laughter)

Oh, and lastbut not least,

a toast to Peter.

Someone newin our family.

Oh, whatcould be sweeter?

ALL:To Peter.

I'm not in your family.

Oh. Better go get him

before he jumpsin the river.

BARRY:Peter, get back here right now!

(people murmuring)

Peter, come on!

REBECCA:Did you ever have the feeling

you turned into the wrong person?

ZEB:Mmm... well, no.

I mean look at me--

after 20 years,still a widow

planning other people's parties.

Don't read no more,discuss important issues,

don't got no friends.

You've got friends.

You got the girls.

You've got me.

Yeah, relatives.

And everybody else I knowis some kind of repairman.

Relatives can be friends.

Repairmen,I'm not so sure about.

Listen, I'm serious, Zeb.

What, what happenedto the friends

I knew in collegeor in high school?

I mean, for instance,Amy Darrow,

the girlwho had her engagement party

the day I met Joe right here.

Oh. I didn't even getto her wedding.

Of course, I was married myselfby then,

and all three girlshad chicken pox, but still.

Okay, okay, to be continued.

I'm gonna make roundsat the hospital tomorrow.

Okay. 'Night.

'Night.

(train whistle and wind chimes)

(bell clanging)

REBECCA:I had the oddest dream last night.

Were there any numbers in it?

What?

If you can recall any numbers,

my friend Al is always after mefor numbers

to play thelottery with.

He wants the numbersfrom my dreams,

but I don't haveany dreams anymore.

No, this was a,this was a dream about a boy.

And he seemed to be... my son.

I was on a train,

and I couldn't quitesee his face, but...

it seems that he wasvery handsome... and confident.

Do you recallwhat number train it was?

No. And I don't knowwhere we were going either.

(chuckling):Well, I'd call that a dream

that was lacking in plot.

In fact,it's sort of uninteresting.

So, I'd liketo switch

the subject to my birthday.

Your birthday's nottill December, Poppy.

December 11th.

I'm going to be100years old.

Well, I knowthat, Poppy.

I suppose you're planning

some big wingding for me.

I mean,I mean bigger than usual, huh?

Well, we'll see. Maybe.

(phone rings)

(chuckles):Yes.

But it's stillpretty far away.

And when we geta little closer...

Open Arms-- for allof life's occasions.

Oh, yes, hi, Melinda.

Here's a list.

The guest listfor my birthday party.

REBECCA:Oh, certainly.

Oh, he... yeah,he's a very good DJ.

Yup, he brings hisown sound system.

Oh, I'm sure he can playwhatever anyone would like.

Mom, it's me!

Not to worry.

Hi, Poppy!

Hi, Min Foo.

If you dreamedyou had a son

and not daughters,

and the boy was blondeand not dark,

then you mighthave been dreaming

how your life could be

if you had chosena different fork in the road--

if you'd decided on somedifferent kind of life.

Or, it probably meansmy baby's going to be a boy.

No, Min Foo,this is not about you.

And besides, he didn't haveyour coloring.

He was blonde.

I could havea blonde baby.

Half my genes areyours, remember?

Well, yeah, maybewith Joey's father.

But I seriously doubtthat you could hope

to have blonde genes with Hakim.

I know where this is going.

Before we start talkingabout my choices in husbands,

I have an obstetrician to see.

Oh, honey, come on.

I wasn't implying anything

about your various husbands.

Yeah, right.

I got to go.

Bye, guys.

Bye, Mom.

Let's use these.

Oh, honey.

This is a graduation party.

Those are wedding bells.

Aw.

Hey, why don't we pretendthey're school bells?

Yay!Okay.

Let's just make surethey all work.

Ooh, pretty.

Nice.

Yeah.

You know that thesewere strung across the room

the first time I ever came here?

♪ Hey, little woman,please make up your mind ♪

♪ You've gotto come into my world ♪

♪ And leave your world behind ♪

♪ Come on, now ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na... ♪

(laughing)

MAN:I see you're havinga wonderful time.

Hi.

I'm Joe Davich.

That guy you're laughing at,that's, uh,

my kid brother, Zeb.

I'm Rebecca Holmes.

I'm Amy's roommate.

Are you a friendof Artie's?

Oh, no, no,my family owns this place.

Oh.

Can I get you some champagne?

Oh. no, thank you,I don't drink.

Well, we'llhave to find you

some ginger ale, then.

Oh! I am so sorry.

Come in the kitchen with me.

Joe, get the ham.

Wish I wouldhave known

you were coming.

Joe so seldom bringshis dates home.

I'm not his...Of course,

you know Joe's children.

Children?

This is Nono

and Patch and Biddy.

And you've probably heardthe story.

Their mother Tinaescapes to New York City

and dumps the whole crew on me.

Mommy's going to be afamous nightclub singer.

So some would have us believe.

Here, Mother.

A little soap and water,

and no onewill ever know.

Right.

Let's clean offthose shoes, huh?

Okay.

Mommy has

this beautiful dress

where the strapsare made of diamonds.

Really?

There. Good as new.

Thanks.Come on.

MOTHER:Where are youtaking her?

Don't worry,we'll see her again.

Okay, guys.

Oh, sweetie, that-that,

that's reallya lot of raisins.

Uh...

we will be seeing you, won't we?

I'm gonna have loveat first sight, too.

Oh, I hopeyou do, dear.

We finished justa few hours ago.

Well...

Isn't thatlovely?

Oh, yeah.

Here's the problem.

Katie didn't graduate.

She didn't graduate?

No.

I was laying outher clothes this morning

and suddenly Katieturned to me

and she said,"Oh, did I mention

I flunked chemistry?"

At the time, I failedto understand

that flunking chemistry wouldkeep her from graduating,

but it-it did and...

Well, listen.

Isn't it fortunate that youalready planned this party?

It sends such a message.

A message?

Yeah, a message--

that you loveand you support

your daughter in spiteof her failure.

Oh.

But my friends.

How will I face them?

Oh, did-did you read that reporta few years ago?

Oh, my, it was, um...

Scientists actually discoveredthat if you fake a smile

that your, uh, smile muscles,

they just somehow triggera signal to your brain,

and you start to feelthe way you pretended to feel.

Yeah, really. Happy.

(chuckles)

Well, I suppose itis kind of difficult

to cancel at this late date.

But I-I-I thought maybe...

You know, Katie'ssuch a lucky girl.

ZEB:Nice save, Beck.

How do you manage to pull these things off?

Well, it's not likeI ever had a choice.

What is that supposed to mean?

Oh, never mind.

You know, maybe I shouldget myself a dog.

I mean, if I hada dog to walk,

it would be easierto meet people, right?

Maybe you should just get away

from the Open Armsfor a while.

Go somewhere,

visit someone.

Yeah, well that's my point.

Who would I visit?

Surely you canthink of someone.

REBECCA:Mother, I have to leave

first thing in the morning.

But you just got here.

Yeah, but Ihave a big

anniversary partyat the Open Arms.

Oh, that place.

Oh, darling, no.

That place is howI make my money.

What little there is of it.

That's the Daviches' business.

No, actuallyit's mine.

And there's Poppyto think about.

Oh, that old man.

Is he stillalive?

Yes, he's still alive.

Exactly how are you related?

He's Joe's father'stwin brother.

You know that, Mother.

Darling.

You could have doneso much better.

Like how?

Oh, you were such

a brilliantstudent, Rebecca.

Do you remember thatpaper on Robert E. Lee?

Didn't the professor say

that you could expand itinto an honors project?

Well, he suggestedthat I...

And before you got started,

bang, here comes Joe Davich andputs you to work.

Mother...

And poorWill Allenby.

He didn'tknow

what hit him.

One day you wereas good as engaged,

and the next you upand married a man

that nobody knew from Adam.

I made a choice.

Well, it wasthe wrong choice.

You and Will Allenbywere soul mates.

You've been a different womanever since you jilted Will.

(bell tolling)

POPPY:Rebecca!

Where were you?

(phone ringing)You knew where I was, Poppy.

I was atmy mother's.

Oh, is shestill alive?

Is that Biddy?

It's not like I wasn'tgonna tell you.

Why doesn't anybodyanswer this? Hello?

Uh, uh, Open Arms, forall of life's occasions.

You've alwayshated my cooking.

Yeah?That's not true.

Tomorrow night at 8:00.Besides, we justwant you

That's rightto be able to enjoythe wedding.

All right, well, we'll be veryhappy to see you then.Oh, please.

Yes. Bye-bye.

What was that all about?

Oh, she's madbecause

I don't want herto do the food.

Barry and I just want

a morestraightforward menu.

And besides, Biddy's never donea garden wedding before.

Who's havinga garden wedding?

We are. Here.

Mother suggested it.

I think it'sa great idea.

Oh, Tina suggested it.

Oh, is Tina doingthe landscaping?

Of course not--Mother doesn't arrive

until two daysbefore the wedding.

Aha. I see.

We can doit, Beck.

I am a florist,after all.

(horn honks)

(car doors slam)

(several people talking at once)

Mother's here!

(all talking at once)

Oh, Rachel. Dear!

Rebecca.

Mother brought usgifts from London.

Oh. Nice.

Oh, Mother,please.

Oh, Mother, I love them.

For your chignon.

Oh.

Oh, thank you so much.

It's about 1812.

All that tea withthis instant family.

Mother, thisis perfect.

Oh, do you like it?I found it in Capri.

Mother, I love it.

Min Foo, she'snot your mother.

Oh, I-I just...

Oh, Minerva, I'vealways thought of you

as my fourth daughter,haven't I?

Rebecca, come,come, come.

You haven't openedyour present yet.

Oh. Okay.

Oh. An apron.

I thought something useful.

Thank you.

Now, Barry, tell me allabout the wedding plans.

Well, we finallyfound a minister.

Nono and I wereat a restaurantthe other night

Mm-hmm.wondering who wecould get to marry us,

and our waitress said,"Well, I can do that."

So, what'll it be?

Do you, like, takethis woman here

to be your lawfullywedded wife?

Oh, you'rejoking.

Turns out she hassome kind

of certificateshe sent away for

throughthe mail.

You didn'ttell me this.

It's...

Perfectly legal,and she said

she'd do itfor free.

Oh, well.Why not?

It's all a bigcharade,

anyhow, I mean, my singingteacher was devastated

when I marriedJoe, I mean,

"My dear, youare throwing away

a God-given talent."

I mean, marriage may be useful

during those littlechild-bearing years,

but, all that, "My darling,aren't you amazing?"

gives away to bloodpressure monitoring

and hand holding whenthe man retires

and he can't think whatto do with themselves.

And the wives, meanwhile, startlonging to get free

from this institutioninvented by males

for their own benefit.

It's all a primitivetribal ritual,

meant to make us forget

we're merely propagatingthe species.

(man clearing throat)

She certainly knows

the right thing to sayto a bride and groom.

(phone dialing)

Oh, hello.

Is this Alumni Records?

This is RebeccaHolmes Davich.

I'm looking for

a, um, an address ofa classmate, Allenby.

Will Allenby. Yeah.

Oh,Dr.Allenby.

He teaches there?

Ah. Okay.

Oh, good.

All right.Thanks very much.

Okay, bye-bye.

(sighs)

I can't believeUncle Poppy's

still here.

He was always such a bore.

I mean, all the Daviches,a bunch of mopers.

How ironictheir profession

was throwingparties.

I mean, justbecause your house

has 14 foot ceilingsdoesn't automatically

turn you intoa social butterfly.

I don't know how you've managedall these years.

I just put one footin front of the other.

You don't have any,shall we say,

man friends, I suppose.

No.

Well, ofcourse not.

After baby-sittingJoe Davich,

why would you want one?

Yes, why would I?

Oh. Ah.

This place is likea time machine.

Same old sink.

Same sticky wooden cabinets.

Same scummy littledrinking glasses.

Same rusty screen door.

Why, how American.

Instant lawn!

I knew we couldcreate a garden here.

Very impressive.

Thanks a lot.

Been working out every day.

Oh.

(playing traditional introduction)

(piano continues over monitor)

She's so cute.

("Wedding March" plays on piano)

Oh...

Oh...

Today we are gathered here

to witnessa celebration

of the humanfamily.

The uniting

of two peoplein marriage.

Nono and Barry comebefore us here today

to...be united in marriage.

Theirs is a love

that springs fromthe affection

of those who lovedthem into being.

And to that source,let us all turn and ask,

who gives this woman?

Oh.

Me.

(chuckles)

London, well...

Our mother'sactually flirting

with her newson-in-law.

Nono's about to kill her.

She was telling Barry

they ought to take Peteron their honeymoon.

Every time, yougirls can't wait

for your motherto get here.

Now you can't waitfor her to leave.

Oh, I told Nonothat Peter could stay here.

Is that cake a little slanted?

What do you mean?Well, look.

Hmm.

Well, what do you expect?

First Nono doesn't even want me

to cater the wedding,then she does.

I mean, she's luckythere's a cake at all.

Oh, honey,it's a lovely cake.

It just needs a little...

Peter, I havea job for you.

No. I can't.

Oh, yes, ofcourse you can.

You just-justbe creative.

And we're smiling,and we're smiling.

Yes, and we're smiling.

Um...

Sir, um, you're-you'rein the shot.

Can you...?Yeah, okay.

Oh.Thank you.

You did a great jobwith those strawberries.

PHOTOGRAPHER:We're smilingand we're smiling.

Nice.

(whistling)

Okay, everyone.

Everyone, groupphoto, group photo.

Yes, group photo. Okay.

That's right.

Okay, um, will the peoplewho are not related

by blood-- can you moveto the sides, please?

I can't get you allinto the picture.

That'd be us.We'll just...

Oh, Beck, Peter, come on.

Come on, Beck.

Oh, all right.PHOTOGRAPHER:We're smiling, and...

Quickly.

PHOTOGRAPHER:Okay.

Smiles, and we're smiling,and we're smiling.

(crickets chirping)

(phone rings)

Dr. Allenby.

Will.

Laura?

Who?

Will, this is, uh,Rebecca Holmes Davich.

Rebecca?

Oh, gosh, I... I hopeyou weren't asleep.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I know it's...I know it's late, uh...

Oh, my, I didn't realizehow late.

You know, um, in fact,

I think that I'll just call backanother time.

B-B-Bye-bye.

Ay-yi-yi. Oh, no.

(phone rings)

Open Arms, for all of life's occasions.

Yes, yes, that's right.

The Tea Dance starts

at 4:30 tomorrow.

You're welcome.Who's he?

It's Peter Sanborn, Poppy.

He's stayinghere with us

while Nono and Barryare on their honeymoon.

Oh...Remember?

Mm. Do you rememberNono's wedding cake?

Yeah, I remember.

You know how it kind of...it kind of...

it-it kind of tilted?

Mm, yeah.

Well, I don't feel that cakesare Biddy's strong point,

so I'd like you to findsomebody else

to make my birthday cake.

I'll be 100 years old.

(chuckling):December 11.

Mm...

Taking that toyour room, huh?

Yeah, I think I will.

Hey, how about you and Igo out for some ice cream, huh?

Get some fresh air?

No thanks.

How 'bout a game?

Uh, Clue, Checkers,Monopoly, Scrabble, huh?

We can't tell your dadyou didn't do one thing

the whole timeyou were here.I don't care.

Well, I do. Come on.

I wish I hadn't promised Poppythis party.

He'll forget it beforethe balloons have shriveled...

...maybe the instantit's over.

He could enjoythe party

while it'shappening, though,

even if he didforget it later.

Yeah.

Well, you're rightabout that.

Hmm.

Guess this

is about all I can do.

Whoa. Ho, ho, ho.

60 points.

Hey, I suspectyou might be a hustler.

(phone ringing)

Open Arms, for allof life's occasions.

Rebecca speaking.

This is Will Allenby.

Will.

H-How'd you get my number?

I looked at my caller ID.

Anyway, Rebecca...

...what did you call me for?

Oh, gosh, I, you know,I just h-happened to be home--

I mean, at... at Mom's,and-and she and I

just got talkingabout old times,

and I thought to myself,

"Gee, wonder whatever happenedto... Will Allenby?

Wonder where he got to."

Oh. Well, I'm...

right here, where you left me...

at MacAdam, that is.

Well, no, I haven't been herethe whole time.

I... I did go awayfor my doctorate.

Um, I teach here now.

Oh, that's wonderful, Will.

I'm the headof the Physics Department.

Well, that's really wonderful.

Well, you know, it's beensuch a long time.

Maybe-maybe you and Ishould just get together,

you know, catch up, or...

I... I happen to be freethis evening.

Oh, this evening?

Oh, no, I-I couldn't do that,

'cause I've got a tea dance,and then...

Oh, boy. This weekend,I got a funeral,

and I got, uh,an engagement party, but, um...

Well, what about Monday,uh, um, at that place?

Is it still there?The, um...

What is it, the Maple Tree?

It's here. I-I don't knowif it's still good, uh...

Well, why don't we just say7:00, the Maple Tree?

All right.

Okay, good.See you then.

That was my very firstboyfriend.

Well, my onlyboyfriend,

besides Joe Davich.

(bell tolls)

(birds chirping)

Oh, good.That's right.

Well, thanks forwatching him, honey.

That's okay.

He didn't playwith the kids at all.

He just sat reading a book

the whole time.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Why the sudden urgeto go shopping?

Oh, nothing, I'mjust sick of thesame old clothes.

Time for somenew ones.

Well, I'd betterget back.

(engine starts)

Bye, Peter.

Bye.

I decided not to tellMin Foo about my date.

It's none ofher business.

Besides, it's notreally a date.

I used to love to readwhen I was young.

I was quite anintellectual,

like you.

If you were offered a tripon a time machine,

would you take it?

Oh, I sure would.

I'd be crazy not to.

Would you go into the pastor the future?

The future.

Absolutely the future,

'cause I want to knowwhat's going to happen.

Yeah, me too.

(doorbell rings)

MAN:Hello? Rebecca!

Oh, J.J.

Rebecca!

Oh, J.J., I'm so happyyou're here.

Boy, that ceilingreally needs to be patched.

Well, we'll do that.

REBECCA:Yeah.

Mm. Oh.

Yeah, well, I-I'mhaving dinner

with my old high schoolsweetheart on Monday,

and I'm-I'm just asnervous as a cat on a...

(chuckles):You know, Tanya was my, uh,high school sweetheart.

Really? My gosh.

You two really madea go of it, huh?

Yeah.Well, not that you haven'thad to... work at it.

Ain't that the truth?

Will you just giveit a little...?

Sure.

Yeah. No good, huh?

Well... the color's nice.Mm.

W-w-w-what about those, uh,harem pants you had on

the-the time I was patchingthe bathroom?Oh, no, no, no.

I-I don't want to wearpants to a restaurant,

and, besides,they didn't make...

(whispering):Weren't goodfor my derriere.

(laughing)

But... the color's nice.

Oh, Poppy, your tapioca'sin the fridge.

Uh-huh.And don't forget

your penguinprogram's on at 9:00.

Okay. I won't forget.

Night-night.Yeah.

Have fun.

Okay.

Uh-huh. Mm. Yum.

Good evening.

Oh. Hi.

I'm meeting someone here.I don't suppose...

Would that be him?

Uh, no.

Oh... I... William.

Hello, Will.

Hi.

Oh.

What happened to yourlong golden braid?

My what? Oh, my gosh.

I got... I cut that offlong ago.

It was too much trouble.

May I tell Marvin

what you're having to drink?

Who's Marvin?

Iced tea, please.

Oh. I'll just have, um...

w-water, thank you.

Sparkling or still?

Pardon?

Tap, I think. Right?

Yes, tap.

It is so good to see you, Will.

Me too.

I mean, it's good for meto see you, too.

Except for the braid,

you... you lookjust the same.

Oh, no, no, I haven'tchanged a bit. Ha, ha.

So, decided what you're having?

Well, not quite.

Oh, I-I-I'm sorry.

I'll see what I should behaving here.

Oh, you should go first,Rebecca.

Oh. All right. Yes. Oops.

Oh, dear. Well, salmon's...

Uh, you have salmon,I'm sure, don't you?

I always liked that.

That's it.Thank you very much.

Okay, uh, salmon,veal, rib roast...

Uh, maybe the rib roast?

And how would you like thatcooked?

Well done.Thank you very much. Yeah.

Well done it is.

Or, uh, you know...

how 'bout the award, uh,winning, uh, swordfish?

Swordfish.

U-unless...

would it actually bethe award-winning swordfish

if it didn't have

the sauce?

(laughs)

So, the swordfish,no sauce,

and salad, no dressing,thank you.

(clears throat)

Sorry, uh, I don'teat out often.

I-I cook for myself.

Oh.

I make myfamous chili.

You remember my chili.

Oh, your chili.

Yes, right, of course.

The way Iprepare it

is, every Sunday,I mix up two batches and then

divide them up intoseven containers.

And that's what

I'd eat each night for the week.

For the whole week?

Mm-hmm.

All week?

Yeah.

Of course, now I havean extra container,

because of tonight.

I don't know how I'lldeal with that yet.

My, my.

Well, it sure soundslike you've adjusted

to-to living by yourself.

I mean... since your divorce.

I can't complain.

I mean,I-I rent a very nice apartment.

Mm-hmm.

It's even got a little s-study

that could be madeinto a guest room,

and if my...

if my daughter ever wantedto spend the night over.

Oh, well, you have a daughter?

Yes, a 17-year-old

high school senior.

Oh.

Beatrice.

Of course that...

That's nothingcompared to you.

Uh-uh.

No, that's right.

(laughing):I... I'm way ahead of you.

I've got five grandchildren.

Hmm.But that'sbecause my husband's

three girls are older,from a previous marriage.

H-How did he pass away,if-if you don't mind my asking?

No.

In a car wreck.

Ha. Oh, boy.It was really sudden.

Well, of course,a car wreck is a-always sudden.

It was just...

I was just so unprepared,you know.

Mm. 26 years old.

And his girls had just adjusted

to the fact that I even existed.

(laughs)

Oh. Well, I'm not sureI'd know how to deal with that.

I managed all right.

We... We were fine.

Thank you.

It seems so long ago,doesn't it?

You broke my heart, Rebecca.

I mean, no warning.

I mean, I thoughteverything was fine,

and then, you justsaid good-bye

without areason why.

I had to hearthat you got married

two weeks later, from my mother.

Yeah. I'm... I'm...

I'm sorry.

You know, I-I...

I know I didn't handle thatvery well, but, uh...

Everythingto your liking, folks?Yes, uh,

everything's fine,thank you.

Yeah.

I-I knowthat I should have written,

but, uh, everything was justmoving so fast, you know.

And I just seemed

to be getting fartherand farther away

from my original self.

And then, this summer,I just sort of...

I don't know.

I just sort of woke up,and I thought,

"Who have you turned into?"

(sighs)

And that's whyI called you. I...

Oh, yeah.

Figured you could justwaltz right on back as if

you'd nevereven left?

No, I never thought that.Thought I'dsay, "Oh,

"sure, Rebecca.

"I forgive you for everything.

"Let's go back

to, uh, thegood old days."

No, no, no.I never thought that at all.

I trusted you.

I'm really sorry...

I can seethis has been a mistake.

MAN (on television):Preening can be a partof the breeding behavior.

Among couples,it is sign of love

when they clean each other'sfeathers.

(sighs)

(snoring)

As soon as penguinsare out of the water,

they start cleaningand combing their feathers.

Unlike his Antarctic neighbors,the penguin mates for life.

The pains are five minutesapart.

Oh.

Oh, honey.

Just remind yourselfthat you're gonna get

a baby out of this.

Bye, Mommy.

I bet that you are gonna havea brand new brother

or sister before lunchtime.

Min Foo is having a baby?

I thought she was divorced.

Poppy, she divorcedProfessor Drake.

And then she divorced LaVon.

And then she married Hakim.

Hakim?

(laughing):Oh, good God.

An-An Arab?

(phone ringing)

Poppy.

Open Arms. F-for...

O-Oh. Hi. Yes, yes, J.J.

Yeah, well, I'm afraid

that faucet still is leaky,but listen, J.J.,

Min Foo's havingher baby today.

Yeah. So, I got to...

Oh, oh, your-yourdaughter-in-law, too.

Oh, that's great.

Well, then you can understand

why I got to keep the line free.

All right. Bye, bye, thanks.

Ooh.

You said

we'd have anew brother

or sister beforelunchtime.

Is Mommy okay?

Oh, yes.Of course she is.

And, you know,sometimes...

Just move your little drawings,kids, for me.

Sometimes it just takesa little bit longer.

Oh, you did a lovely jobon those candles.

Let's light 'em up.

Razzle dazzle time. Whoo!

(phone ringing)

If I could undo onemodern invention,

it would be the telephone.

I would choose the zipper.

(laughs)

(laughter)

Open...

WILL:Rebecca? It's Will.

Oh, Will.

Uh, I really... I... I'm...

I don't knowwhy you rushed off like that.

The-The waiter was wonderingif anything was wrong.

And I... I'm worried

that you might havemisunderstood me.

Oh, Will, listen, thank youso much for calling me.

Listen, my daughter'sabout to have a baby,

and I really can't talk.

Uh, thanks.

Okay. I...

(dial tone)

Oh, boy.

(phone rings)

(groans)

Open Ar... Hakim?

Yes?Whoo!

Yes, I think Abdul'sa wonderful name for a boy.

Yay!Yay!

Oh.

Come over here.

(baby coos)

Oh, handsome boy.

Look at you.

Look at you.

You're so beautiful.

Welcome tothe world, Abdul.

Say hi to Grandma.

(laughter)

(keys jangling)

(door creaking)

(beep)

Rebecca, it's Will Allenbyagain.

I trust everything's finewith your daughter's baby.

I, uh... I just wantedto apologize

for the other evening.

Lately, it's been all I can doto just get up in the morning.

I look in the mirror and think,

"Gosh, same old me."

(beep)

Lord in heaven,tell me everything.

Well, Will has been divorcedabout two years now.

Perfect.

If a man is divorced,

he's always angryat his ex-wife.

But if he's widowed,

he always feels guiltyabout remarrying.

Mother, who said anythingabout remarrying?

We're just havinga meal together.

That should put us back hereabout 9:30 or 10:00.

Is that enough time?

Oh, yeah, that's-that'splenty of time.

Thanks, Zeb.

Oh, Beck, so,is this a...

Is this an actualdate you're having?

No. I'm much too oldto be dating.

(laughter)

Okay, Poppy.

Oh.

Mm. Don't you two getinto any trouble.

Okay.Too old to be dating...

(laughter)

(doorbell rings)

Oh.

Whoa.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

I know I'm early.

I allowed a little extra time,in case I got lost.

Come on in.

Oh. My goodness.

Let's see.

Um, why don'twe set it down

right over here.

Whoo. Here you go.

Ah.

(laughs)

My, isn't that...

Isn't that unusual.

Yeah.

And what's it called?

I don't know.

They said itwas impossibleto kill, is all.

(laughs):Oh, good.

Well, I guess

I should have dressedup a little more, huh?

Oh, no. I'm not so dressed up.

Oh, this is,uh, very...

Well, this is quite a placeyou have.

Well, don'tlet it fool ya.

I expect the ceilingto fall down any...

any minute now.

Well, I mean, it's...it's really impressive.

It must have quite a...

(doorbell rings)

Yeah?

Uh, quite a history to it.

Mm-hmm.

Um, I...

I believe your doorbell rang.

Oh, yes, right.

Well, just makeyourself at home.

Hi, J.J.Hi.

I just wanted to let you know

that we're gonna be outin the back,

uh, planting those a... azal...

Okay. Fine.

Wha-What is that?

(whispering):You know, I'm not sure exactly.

I-I-I've never seen anythinglike it.

Thanks, J.J.

Hey, you-you wantto take a peek at them

before we start planting?

No, it's fine, it's fine.

How about I fetch you oneof those,

uh, hang tagswith a color photo?

You know,I really don't care, J.J.

I've got company.

Oh.

High school sweetheart.

(chuckles)

Was this your husband?

(laughs)

N-No, no.

We got that ata garage sale.

Oh.

Come on, I'll show youwhat my husband looked like.

Oh, uh... Oh, here.

(phone rings)

I'll-I'll justlet the...

the machine get that.

Now, he's heresomewhere, but...

Oh, well here's mynewest grandson, Abdul.

And here he is with his mother,Min Foo, my daughter.

(phone continues ringing)

And this is my eldeststepdaughter, Biddy,

standing nextto Min Foo's ex, LaVon.

And that's Nono.

Oh, doesn't she makea beautiful bride?

And let's see.

This is Patch.

She's celebrating

the girls lacrosse teamwinning State.

And, uh...

Oh. There's Joe.

Yes. Well, you

always did wantto have a lot of children.

I did?

Mm-hmm.

Gosh, I don'tremember that.

Would you bring thebiscuits in, please?

Sure.

(men talking outside)

What's going onin your backyard?

Oh, they're putting insome azaleas.

Oh.

(phone rings)

This is like runninga plantation.

The, uh, divorcewas Laura's idea.

One day, shejust announced

that she wantedme to move out.

Of course,

she kept our daughter.

Laura's always had a betterunderstanding of Beatrice.

It's only natural, I guess.

She's... so much younger than I.

Not like you.

Excuse me?

I, I meanyou were always

so mature for your age,

so involved with yourstudies, so... serious.

I always regret

that I didn't finishmy education.

Mmm. Do you rememberthis new theory

that I had of,of why Robert E. Lee

decided to cast his lotwith the South?

Lee?

Mmm.

Maybe I should finishthat research.

Th-there are other thingsyou can do, too, uh...

Museums could beparticularly edifying.

Gosh, I can't rememberthe last time I was in a museum.

Perhaps we couldgo together.

I'm going down to Washingtonon Friday.

Maybe you could join me.

Wonderful museums there.

Oh, I'd love to do that, Will.

(phone rings)

Friday, then.

Good.

Your phone sure does ring a lot.

Can we goin the other room?

Rebecca...

It's occurred to me

that this was very providential.

What?

When you telephoned methe first time,

I had just hit rock bottom.

I mean, it'sso incrediblyprovidential

that you called mewhen you did, Rebecca.

In the old days,

ice cream placesoffered unlimited samples.

Egg nog, pistachio,rum raisin--

any flavor.

Well, hi.

What are you doing here?

We stoppedfor ice cream,

but Poppy wasso displeased

with the service,

he said he'd just as soonhave his dessert at home.

Hi, I'm, I'm Will Allenby.

Hi, I'm Zeb, Rebecca'sbrother-in-law.

This is my uncle,Paul Davich.

Sorry to bargein like this.

I thoughtyou were going to the movies.

After thatsmart aleck

in the, in theice cream parlor,

I, I didn't have the heartfor it.

Wh-What's for dessert?

Well, I remembered

that Willdidn't care for sweets,

so I didn't makea dessert.

POPPY:Oh.

Well, I'm going to take

a look.

So...

you knew our Rebeccain high school.

"Our Rebecca"?

Well, actually, um...kindergarten.

Beck! Are you home?

(sighing)

He-here.

Where have you been?

I've been phoningand phoning you

all evening.

Uh, Will, this ismy stepdaughter, Nono,

and thisis her stepson, Peter.

This is Will Allenby,

my oldhigh school sweetheart.

Really? Niceto meet you.

Go ahead, Peter,tell Rebecca

what you wantedto ask her.

What, honey?

Um... atmy school,

they have this exhibitof these projects.

And they have usinvite our grandparents.

It's on Friday.

Is it this Friday?

Uh-huh.

And, I know you'renot really my grandma,

but since my dad's parentsare dead,

I was wondering if...

I'd be honored to.

Ice cream--

who wants ice cream?

Super Chunky Chango ice cream.

(laughter)

I'm so sorry about Friday,but, you know, I just,

I just couldn'tdisappoint him.

No, of course not.

The museums willalways be there.

Yeah.

Well, you still havequite a drive, right?

Yes.

I'll call you.

I'll call you tomorrow.(clanging)

(chuckling)Yikes.

Thanks for supper.

REBECCA:Toast! To Abdul Abdulazim.

His arrivalmakes us beam.

It's such a pleasureto have a new boy.

Let's hope he's as niceas Lateesha and Joey.

(screaming)

Joey got stungby a bee!

Oh, my Lord.

He's allergic!

Well, how did a bee get in here?

It'll be okay.

Let's just go to the hospital.

I'll get some ice.

I've got Abdul.

Dixon, you and Emmytake Lateesha to the backyard.

Wait, I'm coming.I've got the ice.

Beck?

Oh, Poppy, please, not now.

Beck, I... I don't feel so good.

Here's a listof all of his medicines.

He's allergicto, uh,

to penicillin and tomatoes.

Is this a heart attack?

I didn't have my,my 100th birthday party yet.

You'll have yourparty, Poppy,I promise you.

I'll call you.

PARAMEDIC:Watch your step.

(monitor beeping)

It's okay.

It's going to be okay.How are we doing?

Well, he's not feeling so...

Zeb... they're tryingto finish me off.

Nope, they'reletting you go.

Turns outit was indigestion.

(chuckling):Oh.

Indigestion?

I spoke with the resident.

He said you had three cupcakesat the baby welcoming.

Well, what if I did?

I've eaten far more many a time.

We should let them knowat home.

Poppy...

They must bepretty worried.

Yeah. Did Joey get his shot?

He's alreadyback at the party,

making up for lost time.

I'll go call.

Oh, God, I am so relievedthat it was only indigestion.

Yeah, well,I don't know

what the world is coming to

if a man can't eatthree measly cupcakes

without folkscalling an ambulance.

(laughter)

REBECCA:Oh, I forgotthe dessert.

You do like dessert,now, don't you, monsieur?

Whoa.

(laughing)

Thank you.

How's your father-in-law?

My father-in-law?Mm-hmm.

Oh, you mean Poppy.

Uh, he's notmy father-in-law.

He's Joe's uncle.

Want this one?

And you still live with him,

even thoughyou're barely related.

Well, I sort ofinherited him.

He came with the house.

(chuckles)

For a whileI resented

having to takecare of him,

but when I thoughthe might die, I...

I realizedhow much he means to me.

Don't mindmy asking, but...

how comeafter your husband died

you never remarried?

I don't know.

I, I think what you lookfor in a person changes.

You know, when I was young,I wanted somebody "other."

The most wildly other person.

Not... well, that's whyI was drawn to Joe, I guess.

But now I just,uh, think the idea

of being withsomebody different

would just...be exhausting.

Well, look at you and me.

We're totally different,Rebecca.

We are?

Oh, well it might seem so now,but...

well, I think of the old days,the things that interested us...

well, I think,yeah, that was back...

that was backwhen we were grownups.

'Course, you still area grownup, but me, I...

I feel like I've been

travelingin reverse.

(chuckling)

WILL:Robert E. Lee.

Boy, things surehave changed

since we wereat MacAdam, huh?

WILL:Go.

REBECCA:Oh, wow!

This was such a good idea,Will.

Well, you said you wanted tocontinue on with your research.

This might be interesting.

Uh-huh.

This one might be good.

On special order.

Oh, dear.

No, no, it's all right.

Hmm? Won't take long?

Uh-uh.

No problem.

Okay. Come on.

(beeping)

We'll call you when it comes in.

Great, thanks;you're done.

Let me grab these.I'll take some of those.

No, no, no; here we go.

Oh, well.

Chivalry is not dead.

(chuckling)Thank you.

(phone rings)

Hello.

ZEB:Hey, Beck.

Oh, hi, Zeb.

What you doing?

Ooh, I'm readinga fascinating book.

Me, too.

The Harmful Effects of Nightlights on Children.

Nightlights?

Children who've been raisedwith nightlights

end up with vision problems.

Their eyesdon't get enough rest.

They should read this book--that'd put them to sleep.

Well, from now on,

I am going to readtwo books a week-- serious ones.

And I am going to join a gym,

'cause I'm goingto get into shape.

You're fine the way you are.

I am not.

I'm a slug.

You of all people-- a doctor.

No, from now on,I am concentrating on me.

You're right.

Good night.

Good night.

(sighs)

Hi, nice to meet you.

How's that?

Good.Oh, that's great.

(devices buzzing and clicking)

Oh, where's your project?

It's over here.

REBECCA:This is yours?

PETER:Uh-huh.

Oh, my gosh.

(laughing)

(gasping and chuckling)

This is wonderful!

I don't knowhow you did this.

What do...

what doyour teachers say?

I think they kindof liked it.

Oh, I bet they do.

Is there a motor?

(chuckling):That's a secret.

Oh.

Oh, then don't tell me.

Don't tell me.

I will just view thisas a miracle.

You want to seethe other projects?

No. No, I...

I just want to stay hereand admire this one.

Oh, no, no.

That boy is brilliant.

Yes. Everybody keeps telling mehow bright he is.

I just...I wish he could drive.

Honey, did yousee his project?

I don't know if it wasmusic or art or science,

but it is astounding.

I was the onewho had to ferry him

to the back of beyondfor supplies.

Barry was awayattending a conference,

wouldn't you know?

I know it's hard.

But I so wishthat you could enjoy this boy,

because he is goingto be grown and gone in a flash.

Easy for you to say.

You don't havethe slightest idea

what it's like being saddledwith somebody else's kid

when you're stillpractically on your honeymoon.

GIRL:No, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no!No, no, no, no!

I thought maybe you'd like

to meet my daughter.

Oh, Will, I would love

to meet your daughter.

Oh, mm. Something I can bring?

No, just yourself.

What shall I wear?

Anything...

or-or maybe...no... just anything.

No, Will, you can tell me.

I mean, is theresomething special

you want me to wear or not wear?

Well, I...I-I-I don't know, um...

(clears throat)

Maybe... somethingnot too... hippie.

Hippie?

Well, it's-it's justthat some of your clothes

tend to be a bit... exotic.

Oh.

And-and I want Beatrice to focuson you more as a person.

Oh, oh, oh, I see. Okay.

(doorbell rings)

Ta-da.

Oh. Well, youlook great.

Thank you.

Hi. Come onin, come in.

My, this is wonderful.Come in here.

Here, ha-have a seat.

All right. Thank you.

I keep feeling I should geta cleaning service in.

Oh. Uh, Beatriceisn't here yet, huh?

No, but I expect her.

Aw...

What?

Everything's goingto be just fine.

You don't know Beatrice.

We are going tohave such fun.

I'm serving this nutritious,all-grain dish.

She's a vegetarian.

(doorbell rings)Oh, boy.

Excuse me.

I used chicken stock,but don't say a word.

Oh. My lips are sealed.

Hi, Beatrice.

Hello, Beatrice.

So, you told me tocome here at 6:00.

Here I am.

Well, thank you, Bea.

I'm very glad you came.

Are we eatingsupper or not?

Oh, oh, don't you wantto sit around a while

and talk? I...Talk? About what?

And who is this lady, anyhow?

Oh. I'm, um... I'm, um,a very old, old friend

of your father's.

We grew up together.

Oh, so I guess next,you're going to tell me

that you guys have fallenmadly in love or something.

Beatrice...Oh! Oh, my goodness.

Well, I guess we'vefallen in fond,

but really, I came hereto meet you tonight.

Your father's told meso much about you.

Yeah? Well, I'm not here'cause I want to be.

I'm here becausehe promised me

my own cellphone if I came.

Oh.

Okay, we've met.Can I go now?

You-you-you haven't eaten.

All right, if you insist,let's eat.

Oh.

(clears throat)

This is a complete,in one dish, whole grain meal.

Oh.Entirely vegetarian.

Actually, I eat meat now.

You do?Well, we can all stand

to eat some grainfrom time to time.

Beatrice, pass meyour plate.

I'm afraidI'm not much of a chef.

Oh, I think you were wonderfulto make the effort.

Thanks.

(groans)

(scoffs)

So... do many menhave you to supper, Rebecca?

Oh. Well, I don't... No.

'Cause, actually, you seempretty normal on the surface.

I'm just wonderingif you realize

what kind of guyyou're eating with, here.

Uh, he's a pretty nice guy.

The guy whokidnapped our dog

when Mom askedhim for a divorce.

Your dog?

Our little dog, Flopsie.

I did not kidnapFlopsie Doodle.

I borrowed her.

He stole her

while we were out,and we came home,

and we called, "Flopsie."

No Flopsie.

So my mom phoned my dad.

We knew it was him.

And she said that shewas calling the police.

Do you know what he did?

He lied, and he said,

oh, he had no idea whatshe was talking about.

Then he opened up his doorand let Flopsie run out

all by herself,when everybody knows

what a terrible senseof direction she has.

It's lucky she wasn't killed.

I was feeling sad, okay?

I was havinga difficult time.

Like it wasn't difficultfor Mom and me?

I went looking for herin the rainstorm.

I was out half the night,

and when I found her,all covered with mud,

I-I put herin my brand-new car,

and I broughther home.

How many timescan I apologize?

Well, just so you know,you're boyfriend's a total perv.

You're getting me

a cell phone tomorrow.

(door opens)

(door slams)

Well, I guess thiswasn't very successful.

Oh, well, it's...You know what?

Now that I've met your family,I want you to meet mine.

I mean, I already...

Well, three or fouryou bumped into,

but I... but I meana proper dinner party

with everybody there.Okay?

That'd be great.Good.

Oh...

Gracious.

(chuckles)

Well, hey, thank you.

Thanks for dinner.Thanks very much.

If I'd known that Beatricewas back eating meat,

I would have served my chili.

Hmm. Mm-hmm.All right. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Hmm.

(crickets chirping)

ZEB:He kidnapped their dog?

REBECCA:Oh, yeah.

Oh, boy. Well, in a way,

I think he's still, um,in mourning for his marriage.

You know, he's been goingthrough a really difficult time.

He's kind of an odd guy,and I just thought a party

where he could meetall of you would...

Rebecca, I've met Willon a couple of occasions.

Yeah, I know, but I-I'd like himto meet everybody,

all together, you know--a more formal atmosphere.

Formal?

Yeah, just not some typical

Davich free-for-all potluck

where Will could be overwhelmed,

but something... sedateand organized.

You know, everybody arrivingat a pre-arranged time,

talking about civilized topics,you know?

Why can't we bring children?

It's a grown-up affair.

I want you to meetthe man in my life.

You have a man in your life?

You never told me that.

Oh, you know Will has beencoming around now and then.

I thought he was just a friend.

(baby cooing)

Why are you springing thison me now?

I am not springinganything on you.

This is not about you.

Saturday night?You're never free on Saturdays.

Is the Open Arms going under?

No more than usual.

Well, haven't I already metthis person?

Yes, but-but Iwant this to be

a more officialintroduction

to the familyas a whole.

Okay, look, whatever.I'm running late, okay?

Okay. Bye.

(phone rings)

(sighs)

Open Arms.

How come you invited Min Footo dinner and not me?

Patch, I was just going to...

Is this becauseshe's your real daughter?

I hate you.

You're not my mother.

(gasps)

Patch, for heaven's sakes,

I'm inviting all of you.

Oh, Beck, thisis so exciting.

A man in your life.

I am makingsomething fabulous.

What is thatyou're wearing?

Oh, just somethingdifferent

than my usualhippie dippie

color crazything, you know?

Call it flight attendantcasual.

(laughs)(doorbell rings)

Well, fasten your seatbelts, me merry crew.

Hi, Will.

Am I lateor early or... okay?

Oh, you're... you'reright on time. Come on.

Okay.Yeah.

WILL:Thanks.

I trust you have nothingagainst hearts of palm.

That what that is?

I thought it'dbe a nice...

symbolic touch.

Hearts, romance, you know?

Hmm. Palm trees

are cut up for that?

(grunts)

Broccoli plants are cut up.

Asparagus shoots are cut up.

Don't tell me you're oneof those food avoiders.

No, no, no, I'm...not that much into experiment.

Sea urchins are an experiment.

Hearts of palm is just a salad.

So, you and Rebeccahave-have known each other

since you were kids?

50 years.

Oh! Can I really havebeen alive that long?

And now you're reunited.That's, uh...

Must be complicated, though,living in separate towns.

WILL:Oh, that's exactly it.

My odometer's taken a huge leap,

and my engine's developeda cough, uh...

Oh, well, you-you should giveJ.J. a call.

WILL:J.J.?

Yeah, J.J. does a lot of,uh, odd jobs around here,

but, oh, he isa gifted mechanic.

He's the only onethat can coax my Chevy along.

J.J.'s great.

Yeah. Oh, you know,he is forever bragging

about his wife, Tanya.

Look, see, um, they had, uh,themselves made up

to look like Bonnie and Clyde,

and then they hadtheir picture taken.

(Rebecca laughs)

That's your mechanic?

Mm. Well,lately, though,

Tanya's had to increaseher medication.

Poor thing, you know,

she's just given to these sortof demented delusions, and, uh,

oh, gosh, one day,she was walking

across somebody's front porch;she was wildly

flinging a-a souvenirJapanese sword.

Ay-yi-yi. And, uh...

J.J. said that that's notthe real true Tanya.

He just still thinksthat his wife is... amazing.

That's the manthat repairs your cars.

(door opening)

Oh.

Hello. We're in here.

MIN FOO:I told you,she's not gonna be...

Hi.I know you saidadults only...

Hi.but I'm stillbreast-feeding.

What do you expect?

It's all right.It's all right.

Hi.Hey.

Don't put him there.

Someone's gonnastep on him.

This man is hopeless.

At 7:00 inthe morning,

he's asking me tobrew him coffee.

I only asked if coffeehad been made, Min Foo.

You could haveseen for yourself

that it wasn't made.

Shh. It's all right,it's all right.

What is thatyou're wearing?

PATCH:It's us.

Hi.

Sorry we're late.

What is that you're wearing?

It is my brand-new suit

that I bought on Thursday,and I like it,

so don'tsay a word.

Ah, everyone,

I would likeyou to meetWill Allenby,

the person

I invited you here to meet.

(silence)

(silverware clattering)

(baby cooing)

(all talking quietly)

Min Foo, do thatin the other room.

MIN FOO:I'm decentlycovered.

I'm not sittinghere naked.

We have company.

What must he think?

I'm sure you'veseen a woman

nursing ababy before.

Well, yes.

I mean, of course.

(baby fussing)

Though, notat a dinner table, but...

(sighs)

(baby crying)

Oh, boy.

Patch, goafter her.

I will not.

MIN FOO:Hakim!

I shall go.

A toast.

Oh, yes, a toast.Yeah.

POPPY:A toast.Good.

POPPY:I propose a toast to...

a toast to me and my birthday.

(laughter)Oh, Poppy.

It isnotyour birthday.

POPPY:Oh.

(whispering):This is a toast

to Will, welcome.

Oh, yeah, a toast to Will.

To-To welcome Will.

ALL:To Will.

POPPY:Here's to Will.

Here, here.

(all talking at once)

WILL:Thank you.

Ah.

Um... maybe a toastto... Rebecca.

Oh.

To Rebecca for being so lovely,

so gracious,

and cheering up my life.

Thank you.

To Becky!

Rebecca.ZEB:Can't imagine where

we'd all be ifRebecca hadn'tshown up.

She turned outto be awfullygood for business.

(laughs):Not at first.

I'm sure that Zeb remembersthe first time

I helped out at a party.

(laughs):Oh, God.

I let fly a champagne cork...

(laughter)

...straightinto a woman's bosom.

(laughter)

ZEB:Right.

Rebecca crumples to the floorin mortification,

like she's the one who got hit,and this women just

keeps right on talking,completely unaware.

Falsies was my

considered opinion.

(laughter)

Then she bends downand she says,

"Are you all right, dear?"

And then I just popped right up,and I...

(laughs):I poured thechampagne...

(sighs)

...like nothinghappened.

(laughs)

Hmm.

(low chatter)

(clears throat)

(chatter, silverware clattering)

HAKIM:♪ Oh Abdul, boy ♪

♪ The pipes,the pipes are calling ♪

Here.

♪ From glen to glen ♪

Oh.

♪ And down the mountainside... ♪

Sweet.

I didn't know he was Irish.

I can't believethat she broughtthe baby here.

(chatter, soft laughter, singing continues)

♪ Oh, Abdul, boy ♪

♪ Oh, Abdul, boy,I love you so. ♪

WOMAN:I'll call you tomorrow.

Nice to seeyou again, Will.

REBECCA:I loved that.Thank you, bye, bye.

We'll seeyou again.Thanks, Beck.

Thank you, Rebecca.Bye, bye. All right.

It was nice tomeet you, Will.Bye, Will.

Thanks. Bye.

Yeah. Frankly, I'mhaving a hard time

sorting them all out.

(laughs)

I mean, why-whyis that one,

uh, stepdaughter,uh, Chinese?

And... and thefella, uh, Troy--

is he Biddy'shusband?

No, no. Fir-First of all,

Min Foo is my daughter,not my stepdaughter.

I named her Minerva.

But Joe took one look at her paintbrush hair

and her sleepy eyes-- no wider than slits-- and...

Hey there,little Min Foo.

REBECCA:As for Troy,

he's the brotherof Biddy's fiancé, Roland,

who died suddenly.

Troy is gay.

REBECCA:And then,

after Roland died,Biddy discovered

she was pregnant with Dixon,

so Troy moved back inand helped raise him.

And he's been with themevery step of the way.

So, Dixon was conceived,uh, before...

I'll get the family album.

Oh, but Poppy,your milk's almost ready.

And anyway, Will has already

more or lessseenthe family album.

I'll get the family album.

REBECCA:Oh, boy.

Now you're in for it.

So,

how'd you like my family?

Well, um...

(clears throat)

they're... they'rever-very interesting.

Yeah, well.

Ah, you didn't see Min Fooat her best.

I'm afraidshe's beginning an old pattern.

Uh, have a baby,ditch the husband.

Oh, they all arepretty outspoken...

It's-It's kindof like those nature programs,

you know, where the femaledoes away with the male

after he donates his sperm?

Pardon?

So many parties.

POPPY:Yeah. Isn'tthat the truth.

I mean, everywhere I look.

Well.

On the refrigerator,in this album.

Everybody's celebrating.

I mean, we just drank a toastin there.

And now you've brought mein here,

and you've got me lookingat photos of toasts.

Years of toasts.

Oh, they'rephotographs.

I mean, you don'tusually take pictures

of people reading abook or playing chess.

Chess?

(laughs):We-We don't play chess.

WILL:Well, Imean you...

You do have an unusual amountof parties,

you'll have to admit.

Every time we tryto get together, we have

to workaround your social events.

Social events.

WILL:Well, I mean, I understand you're a social type.

But consortingwith your mechanic?

Sharing marital secretswith a stranger?

J.J.'s not a stranger.

Well, from whatyou've told me,

his attitude about his wifeshows a total lack

of responsibility.

Piffle.

Oh. Oh.

Here's my Joycie.

(chuckles)

She was a cutie

all right. Ooh.

Yeah.

I better haul myself off to bed.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I-Ithink I'm, uh...

I'm gonna goto bed, too.

Oh. All right.

Oh.

Don't forgetmy birthday party.

Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

Oh, yeah.

When is his birthday?

It's in December.

What date in December?

I don't think

we'll be seeingeach other inDecember, Will.

What-What...What do you mean?

Or beforethat, either.

Was it something that I did?

You didn't do anything, Will.

Was it your family? Didn't...

I mean, didn't they like me?

I'm sure they liked you.

Zeb?

Zeb?

Well, obviously,

he's my competition,although, I...

No, the factof the matter is, this...

It just won't work, Will.

It won't.

I'm sorry to do this to you.

Again.

(sighs)

Good-bye, Will.

Good-bye, Will.

Well...

all right then.

Good-bye, Rebecca.

WOMAN:Practically as oldas Robert E. Lee himself.

Sorry it took so longto come in.

Oh... no, that's-that's, uh...that's all right.

Thank you.

No, really, really, my life is finished.

It finished when the girls got grown...

so here I am, just, you know, hanging around,

marking time, waiting for things to wind down.

ZEB:Rebecca, are you all right?

Well, yeah. Define "all right."

Where's Will in all this?

Gone.

You ditched him?

(chuckles):Yep, but that's not the problem.

The problem is just I've...

I've outlived myself.

Well... rememberwhat George Eliot said.

What did George Eliot say?

It's never too lateto do what you want to do.

Well, you know, that's just...

that is just plain wrong.

I mean, what if I wanted to--I don't know--

what if I wantedto get pregnant?

I mean, Zeb,that's just ridiculous.

(dial tone buzzes)

(phone rings)

Sorry.

I just remembered; it wasn'tdo what you want to do,

it's be what you want to be,I think.

I guess I'm just so tired.

I'm not even sureit's George Eliot.

Thanks for trying, Zeb.

Night.

Good night.

(water running)

(sighs)

There you are, Joe.

Ready for anotherglorious day,

helping other peoplecelebrate life.

(birds chirping)

Happy birthday, Poppy.

Oh, thank you, Beck.

(chuckles)

Ooh, I got it, I got it.

Ooh. Do you know that100 years ago today,

you were just thetiniest bundle

nestled in your cradle?

I don't even know whowas president then.

Oh, beats me.

(chuckles)

No cars, probablyno phones.

Mm.

I wonder from time to time

if the years Joycie didn't getto use in her life

got added onto mine.

Oh, oh, shewould've been glad

to see you enjoy it.

Ah... Joycie... Joyce wasa naturally happy person,

not like us Daviches.

Some people just havea harder time being happy.

Oh, boy. The nightthat I met Joe,

oh, he... he was laughin',

and then, when I saw hima few days later,

through thelibrary window...

oh, I saw that life in his eyes,

and I knew right at that momentthat I wanted to marry him.

You know, I thinkyou might be right, though,

about the Daviches,because deep down,

I-I-I'm not surehe was really happy.

He never thought of party-givingas his true life.

Face it, Beck,there is no true life.

Your true life is the one youend up with, whatever it may be.

You just do the bestwith what you've got.

This isn't my party,is it?

(laughing):Oh, no...

No, no, Poppy.

Your party is going to be

everything you dreamedit would be.

(band playing jazzy music)

Oh, Mother, come here.I want you to meet Tanya.

Oh, no, thank you.

J.J.J.How do you do?

And J.J. Barrow.Hi.

How do you do?J.J.'s our,uh, handyman.

Oh. Are you hereas guests?

Yes.Yes, we are.

Hey, Poppy,how you doing?Oh.

(kids laughing)

Happy birthday, Poppy.

Birthday, Poppy.Birthday, Poppy.

Whoa, for me?

(laughs):Oh.

Whoa, how'bout that?

President TheodoreRoosevelt.

He was presidentthe year you were born.

That's beautiful. Look.

President Theodore Roosevelt.

He was a great president.

Are you really 100?

Yes, but don't tellanybody, huh?

"Pick up dry cleaning,

"make dental appointmentfor Peter,

"find someoneto clean the gutters,

buy my broa birthday gift."

These are the things I wassupposed to do last week.

So?

Beck, when you and Dadgot married, did you...?

And-and-and don't take thisthe wrong way,

but did you ever wonderif he'd married you

just so that he would have helpwith us kids?

I mean, I...

I am tryingnot to think that of Barry,

but I mean, these lists.

Oh, what are you saying,

that you don't thinkthat Barry loves you?

He says he does, but, I mean,the PTA meetings, the carpool...

It's like... I'm so useful.

Well, don't you thinkthat all of us,

I mean, love people,

you know, partlybecause of their usefulness?

Beck, love has nothingto do with it.

There's no use.Hakim is hopeless.

Thanks. I can always rely onmy family for emotional support.

Oh, Min Foo...

please, could you pleasejust once try to resist

dumping a husband

once you've hadhis baby?

I gave you the nameof Patch's marriage counselor.

Patch, you're going toa marriage counselor?

Thanks a lot, Biddy.

Why does everybodyin this family seem so unhappy?

Thank goodnessfor you and Troy.

Troy is gay,but we still argue

just like everyother couple, okay?

How reassuring to hear that.

Hey, everybody,

Hakim took all of Poppy'shomemade movies

and turned theminto a tape.

They only go upto 1971, but...

Shh.

"Celebrating Paul Davich."

(laughing)

ZEB:Ah, your famoushamburgers, Poppy.

God, I was always goodwith my barbecue.

Hey, there's my Joycie.

(laughs)

ZEB:She looks great.

POPPY:She's my girl.

She looks happy.

Oh, man.

Oh, I loved that dog.That was Molly.

POPPY:Oh, that old train set.

Oh, there's Uncle Zeb.

POPPY:I gave him that train.

ZEB:And there's Joe.

Dad...

Yeah, he looks good.

GIRL:Real bright lights.

Uh-huh.

(kids laughing)

ZEB:Oh, that's asweet shot.

Look at that.

(scoffs)

ZEB:Now, that's dancing.

I should'vebeen arrested.

That's somenice moves.

Our Easter egg hunt.

Oh, there's me.

I rememberthat dress.

Well, we all wore it.

(laughter)

Would you look at us?

GIRL:That looks like fun.

POPPY:Ooh, what a...

what a bath she's getting.

(all laughing)

Weren't we theperfect family?

GIRL:Where are you, Mommy?

I wasn't born yet.

And here you are,Min Foo.

MIN FOO:Oh, there I am.

There you are, Mommy.

ZEB:Yahoo, Min Foo.

MIN FOO:Dad didn't have a chance.

Four girls.

(laughing)

Look at him.He was so handsome.

Wow.POPPY:Oh, that's a good movie.

It was beautiful, yeah!

MIN FOO:Good job, Hakim.

All right, cakeis in the dining room.

Yay.

MIN FOO:Yeah, morechampagne.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he'sa jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny. ♪

What's wrong?

Oh, it's the video.

It's as if I never existed.

As if what?(applause and cheering)

(cheering)

Beck. A toast.

Poppy.

To Poppy.

He's beginning to seemperennial.

We're observinghis centennial,

so shout it

from the chandeliers.

We wish him another 100 years.

(cheering)

Happy birthday.

Another one of thoseeverlasting rhymes of hers.

POPPY:I could eatall of this myself.

Let me take the baby.

I'll deal with him.

(baby crying)

(sighs)

(sighs)

Oh, look at you.

I know what you're thinking.

What kind of peoplehave I ended up with?

How am I ever goingto live

on this planet?

Come over here.Look, look, look.

(dings)

Miserable day?

Yeah.Beck, you know that wasjust Patch being Patch.

Oh, listen,what do I care?

Before that, Nono asked me

if Joe had married mefor my usefulness.

Oh, believe me,over the years, uh,

that crossed my mind, too,

especially after he just...up and died,

leaving me to copewith all this.

What are youtalking about?

Oh...

You know, when I firstmet him right here,

he said, uh,"Oh, you look

like you're havinga wonderful time."

Well, you know, I wasn't havinga wonderful time.

I should've just said thatto him right then.

I was here,too, you know,

and I remember youwalking into theOpen Arms that day,

and you were havinga wonderful time,

and my brother saw inyou this gift of joy.

Joy?

Yeah, joy.

I'm sure you knowthat's something

the Davich genepool sorely lacks.

Believe me, you giveall of us such joy.

Oh, well, it's not enough.

It's more than enough;how can we survive

without it?You'd survive.

Not a chance.I don't know.

I know.

I know you holdall of us together

with your love,with your parties,

with your funnyRebecca toasts.

Mm.

We need you, Rebecca.

(baby crying)

Abdul's hungry, I think.

Hmm... well, it wouldn't bea family celebration

if Min Foo wasn'tbreast feeding.

Well, I guess weshould go find her.

Yeah.

You're so young.Yeah.

He's hungry, honey.

Beck, where you been?

Champagne?

Yes, thanks.

Mom, I've runout of diapers.

Oh, honey, I thinkthere's an extra package

underneath the sink.

Why aren't you in the video?

Well, I guessI was busy planning

some happening or other.

(sound of train moving)

Peter?

Do you know I had a dreamabout us?

Really?

What'd you dream about?

Well, it wasa beautiful, sunny day...

and you and I were on a train.

Where were we going?

Well, we were traveling to...

to right here, I guess.

We were coming home.

Peter, can youcome here

for a second?

I see you're havinga wonderful time.

Yes, Joe... I really am.

BOY:Poppy, whatdid you wish for

when you blew outthe candles?

Oh, for an evenbigger party

next year.

GUESTS:Here, here.Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah,all right, let's go.

(loud ding)