All language subtitles for ed_s01e19_windows_of_opportunity

Hey. Hey.

Look, guess what I got behind my back.

Do I have to?

Oh, yeah.

Cello? No.

Oh, boy, what do you know? Where'd you
find that? In the back.

I've been looking for this thing ever
since I bought the place.

What is it?

It's my old lucky ball. It's his old
fruity ball. I used to come here to bowl

with this thing when I was a kid.

That's sweet.

That is sweet. It is, it is. It's very
sweet. Very sweet indeed that Ed Stevens

used to bowl with a woman's ball.

It's not a woman's ball.

Why, just because it's pink?

The engraving on the ball says Fran
Jespersen. Fran, we agreed long ago. The

name Fran was gender ambiguous.

You are gender ambiguous.

Hey, Phil, what's going on?

Our young Lothario here has vowed to ask
his paramour for her hand in marriage

if, and only if, he bowls a strike on
his next ball.

Really? That is so romantic.

Ed, you know what you should do?

What? Lend him your ball.

You know, for a little lady luck.

Emphasis on lady.

Excuse me. Wait.

Excuse me. I'm Ed Stevens. I own Stucky
Ball.

Hi, I'm Ari.

Nice lanes.

Appreciate that.

Look, this is my lucky ball.

So if you'd like to use it, it's all
yours.

Yeah, cool.

Oh my God, he's really going to do it.

There's got to be some kind of joke.

Barbara, will you marry me?

In the sky tonight There I can keep by

your side Watching the world

Hey. Yeah.

We want to get married right here.

What? We want to get married right here
at Stucky Bowl.

When?

This Saturday night.

And you're all invited.

You can't get married because you bowl a
strike.

You can't get married because you bowl a
strike.

Will you please agree with me?

I agree with you.

Okay, then.

Let me tell you a little something. To
please a woman, one must employ a

skillful blend of tenderness and raw
power.

Cheswick, it's been three weeks since
you were up on that mountain with

Donatazi. I'm getting sick of hearing
about it. Ah, Mark, my fine, virginous

friend. Jealousy doesn't suit you.

My guess is you didn't lay a hand on me.

Well, unfortunately, I'm too much of a
gentleman to convey the details of my

interlude. Although, I will let on that
I...

experimented with certain maneuvers
heretofore attempted only in the

Yeah, one -man maneuvers. Once on HBO, I
saw a woman who had a 90 -minute

orgasm.

What?

Oh, looky, looky. Who's your old friend
now? I had a feeling we might run into

her here.

What, she didn't call you last night to
tell you where she was going to be? It's

not that kind of relationship, okay?
Now, you guys just try to act cool for

in your life, all right?

Hey, Donna. Hi.

She's probably still shuddering from the
tenderness of your touch. Shut up.

Mr. Stevens.

Yeah.

Could you put these shoes in a safe
place until the wedding?

Yeah.

So you guys are really thinking about
going through with this, huh?

My boldest strike.

Yeah. It's fate.

Can't turn your back on fate.

Fate? Well, I mean, what if I...

But if I took this coin, I flipped it,
and I said, if it comes up heads, then

you shouldn't get married.

Okay, but you know what I mean.

How old are you guys?

We're 22.

How long have you known one another?

Six months.

Yeah. Look, Ari, Barbara, I'm just a
guy, okay?

Just a guy named Ed.

Just a guy named Ed happens to be a
lawyer. Just a guy named Ed happens to

lawyer, happens to run a bowling alley,
you know? Just a guy named Ed.

Ed. What?

Right. Don't do this.

Don't get married because you happen to
bowl a strike, okay? Get married because

you spend a lot of time with one
another. You've gotten to know one

married because you're absolutely
positive that you're meant to spend the

of your life together. You get married
because the thought of living without

another is absolutely unbearable. Get
married for these reasons, okay? Not

because you bowled a strike.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yes.

Okay.

But you're forgetting something.

What's that?

I bowled a strike.

Excuse me.

Will you folks be needing a hopper?

Okay, before we finish up today, we need
a new literary quote of the week for

our board.

Anyone?

Come on.

Anything based on any of the reading
that we've done this year?

No.

Mr. Vanacore, how about you? You have
yet to grace us with a quote of the

Mark?

Just do it.

Not exactly what I was looking for, but
not bad under pressure.

In fact, the excellent lesson plan today
is organized, concise, and you're

really starting to come into your own.

Thank you very much, Warren.

Yeah, so, listen, you know how I'm,
like, I'm a great lover, right?

Pardon me? Well, I'm not saying that you
know. I'm just saying that you probably

just assumed based on the way I comport
myself.

I'm going to agree because I feel that
that will make this conversation end

quickly. Right.

So, there's this girl.

Donna Tazi.

Whoa.

How do you do that?

You're like Kreskin or something. It's
like I'm sitting here naked.

Boy, I'm not blind. I heard about your
little weekend up on the mountain. Yeah,

well, I think I blew it with her.

Why's that?

The window closed on me, Miss Fessy.

The window?

Opportunity. The window of opportunity.
I was up on the mountain, and it was

open, and I...

Shut up. I blew it.

Okay, you're going to have to give me a
little more to go on here.

Well, what I'm trying to say is nothing
happened.

It's like, we didn't even kiss or
anything.

It's like, all we did was talk and
stuff.

What's wrong with talking?

No, you don't understand.

Nothing, nothing's wrong with talking.
Talking's great. I mean, but like, I

mean, after you talk, you got to like
start kissing and stuff or else.

That's when the window closes.

You see? And once the window closes,
that's it. It's never going to open up

again. I see. Yesterday I ran into her,
and she just, like, dusted me.

She just, like, walked right by me. I
was like, what's up?

Warren, did it ever occur to you that
she's worried her window of opportunity

with you has closed?

Whoa.

Yeah. Ed Stevens?

Yeah.

Jamie Masters.

Hey.

Twizzler? No, thanks.

I'm good.

Can I help you with something, Mr.
Masters?

I need to get a restraining order
against my brother.

Oh, sure. Have a seat.

So, what seems to be the problem?

He's ruining my life.

How so?

Ed, I have a weight problem.

Oh, I mean, I don't... Come on, I'm a
fat guy.

Okay. Now, I've been on every diet known
to man.

Fiber bars, breakfast shakes, liquid
protein, low carbs, high carbs. I've

it all.

Never any luck.

Well, losing weight can be difficult.

So, a couple of months ago, my doc tells
me I'm one burrito away from exploding.

Really? He said that?

Not exactly.

I'm being colorful.

I see.

But I get his point.

You know, if I don't turn it around,
it's bye -bye birdie.

How does this involve your brother?

Well, I'm upset.

So I go to my brother Steve and I give
him carte blanche. Carte blanche.

I tell him that until I lose 30 pounds,
he has carte blanche to do anything he

wants to stop me from eating badly.

What does that mean exactly?

I told him even if I change my mind,
even if I beg him to leave me alone,

stop. My life's at stake.

Now, he has to do whatever he needs to
do to prevent me from eating badly.

So why the restraining order? Well, the
whole thing's gotten out of hand.

It started with a polite reminder,
then... Oh, my God.

He followed me here.

Followed you here to see if you need a
Twizzler?

He's got a baseball bat!

Quick for a big guy.

a very interesting job.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, Mr. Masters?

Steve Masters?

You're the guy from the bowling alley.
Yeah, Ed Stevens.

I'm Brother Jamie's attorney, actually.

He got a lawyer? Yeah.

Why?

Because you smashed up his car, among
other things. Look, I know Jamie asked

for help in losing weight, but I think
you've taken things a little too far.

You've got to stop doing this stuff.

I got to stop doing this stuff?

Look, my brother's standing at a fork in
the road.

Either he loses weight or he dies. And
I'll tell you this, he's not dying on my

watch.

Okay, but do you think you can come up
with something a little more productive

than humiliating him and destroying his
property? Hey, he asked me to do this.

He made me promise to do this.

And I intend to live up to my promise.

No matter how good your intentions may
be, what you're doing is still illegal

you don't stop.

I'm going to have to take you to court.

Illegal? Yeah.

I don't think it's illegal. Sure it is.

I have a signed contract from Jamie.

What? That's right.

I'd be happy to send you a copy.

Spells it all out in black and white.

Jamie has given me the legal right to do
anything and everything to stop him

from overeating.

It stipulates the contract remains
valid, even if he changes his mind.

How can you say that Jim Morrison was
not a poet?

I didn't say that, Mark. I didn't say
that. What I said was that when I assign

you to memorize a classic American poem,
you can't just walk in here and recite

writers on the store.

Why not?

It's beautiful.

Okay, Lizard King, that's all for today.

Class dismissed.

Hey, Donna.

Hey, Donna. Yeah.

Hey, I was, I was, like, curious about
something.

What's that? God. I just want to ask you
a question. Let me bounce an idea off

you. Okay. Whenever you have the time.

Go ahead.

Oh, is now good? Because I, I could, we
could set something up or... Okay, uh,

sorry. Okay, um, I was just thinking, if
you have just... Hey, Warren. Oh, hey,

Jess. Hey.

Wow, uh, oh, Jess, this is, um, Donna.

Uh, Donna, Jessica. Yeah, we know each
other.

Oh.

Linda told me you really did spend that
weekend up on Mount Preston. Yes.

It's pretty cool.

Cool, yeah.

I suppose you could say it was cool.
But, um, for me, the word that springs

mind is epiphanies.

What do you mean?

Jessica, as I stood atop that mountain
with the majesty of God's creation at my

feet,

life's biggest questions suddenly made
their answers known unto me.

Like what questions?

Like, who are you? I mean, I know you're
Jessica Martel, but, like, who are you?

I don't know.

Exactly. Exactly. That's it. And I do
know.

So, who are you? Who am I?

I'm Warren Cheswick. But not just Warren
Cheswick.

I'm Warren Cheswick.

You know?

Well, that's awesome.

It was awesome. It was intense.

I got to go to French class.

Okay. I'll see you later.

Yeah, catch you later.

It's all right.

The window.

It is closed.

Mr.

Stevens, perhaps your client ought to
explain what his brother has done to

necessitate this restraining order.

Oh, of course.

Go ahead, Jamie.

Thanks, Your Honor.

January 10th, I eat a Pop -Tart.

Steve flushes my best pair of dress
socks down the toilet.

January 16th, I eat a slice of pizza.

Steve spray paints the words Captain
Tubby on my front door.

January 21st, I consume a few too many
individual servings of pudding, and

burns my entire collection of Jack
London first editions.

Goodbye, call of the wild.

Adios, white fang! Please, lower your
voice.

I'm sorry.

February 3rd. I take one bite out of a
pound cake. One bite, so help me God,

Your Honor.

Steve calls the guy who works in the
cubicle next to me, imitates my voice,

asks him out on a date.

February 9th. That's enough. Thank you,
Mr.

Masters.

Have you exhausted all non -legal
methods to stop your brother from

you?

I wouldn't be here if I hadn't.

All right.

I'm going to issue a restraining order,
effective immediately.

Thanks, Your Honor.

Thank you.

Come on.

Hug the fat guy.

How are the wedding plans going?

All according to schedule. I wish I
could talk some sense, you know.

When did you become the sworn enemy of
crazy romantic spontaneity? I thought

that was your deal.

It is. I just want the both of them to
wait.

Just until they're sure they're meant to
be together. I don't want them to make

the same mistake I did.

Marrying Liz? Yeah.

How did you guys end up together anyway?

She was my dental hygienist.

We fell in love when she was showing me
the proper flossing technique.

Seriously? No. I just didn't want to
deprive you of the super cute meeting

story.

She was friends with Bruce Cahill, my
last school roommate.

He set us up. The minute we laid eyes on
one another, it was like...

Boom. Really?

Yeah, we had one of those first dates
where we ended up staying up all night

staring into one another's eyes.

Four months later, we were engaged.

Four months?

Yeah. Wow.

I had no idea.

Yeah, it took another three years before
we knew each other well enough to

realize we didn't belong together. I
don't want these kids to make the same

mistake, that's all.

Look, I can see that you have a point,
but what if you're wrong?

What if Barbara and Eric are actually
perfect for each other and they're

supposed to live happily ever after?

If I'm wrong, they can wait a couple
years and get married.

Yeah, but sometimes in relationships,
there's this window of opportunity, and

you miss it... Hey, Jamie.

Jamie Masters, Calvesi.

Calvesi, Jamie Masters. Hi. Hi. Nice to
meet you.

Ed, I can't thank you enough.

You gave me my life back.

See, there comes a point in time when
you've got to realize you are what you

are. I'm overweight.

So what?

You know, there are worse things to be.

Please direct your attention to the
giant fat guy in the blue windbreaker.

My God.

Would you look at him?

Does this look like a guy who needs to
be pounding down hot dogs?

You can't do this. He's violating the
restraining order.

You're violating the restraining order?
Screw the restraining order!

Forget the restraining order.

I'm taking him to court. I want my car
fixed. I want emotional damages. I want

it all.

I'm taking him to court. I'm taking him
to court! Okay, calm down, Jamie. We'll

work this out.

Next question. Have you gotten your
blood tests?

No. You're going to go to the clinic
tomorrow.

Not necessary, my friend. I have an old
summer camp buddy who can take care of

this for you.

What you're going to do is go down to
the filling station at the corner of

Forbes and Murray.

Hey, guys.

Beat me.

Hey. Hi.

So, guys, we have the most perfect idea
for our wedding. What's that?

My best man's going to be Colonel
Sanders.

The chicken guy.

Isn't that an amazing idea?

Wow. I didn't think he did.

Yeah. No, no, you're thinking of Arthur
Treacher.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. All right. Yeah.

I don't think I can do this. Do what?

Participate in this wedding. Why not?

You hear those kids out there?

Yeah? I want Colonel Sanders to be the
best man.

Yeah. Colonel Sanders?

So? So, this is marriage we're talking
about here. You know, taking the whole

thing serious enough. I mean, marriage,
the union, the blessed union, the

sacrament, the man and the woman, the
words of death do us part. Ring any

with you?

Yeah, I'm so confused. But when it comes
to marriage, you don't throw a fanciful

restaurant mascot into the proceedings.

Ed. What?

This just doesn't sound like you.

I just don't want to sit idly by and
watch these two kids gallop down the

towards misery. That's all.

Colonel stupid Sanders.

I think that you're missing the point
here.

I'm missing the point? Yep. I'm missing
the point. A little bit. How am I

missing the point? What do you think the
point is? I think the point is it's not

a bad thing to want Colonel Sanders at
your wedding.

It's a bad thing if only one of you
wants to have Colonel Sanders at your

wedding.

Okay, they got me. I let down my guard,
and they got me. I've decided to take

care of the catering FOC.

F -O -C.

Free of charge.

And if you repeat that, I will deny it.
There are reasons why people in this

town need to think of Phil Stubbs as a
soulless merchant of fear.

Oh.

Donna! Donna!

Yeah? Hey.

Look, uh, what I was gonna ask you
before was, um, were you...

Here's the question.

Will I what?

Will you go out with me Saturday night?

Okay. Really?

Excellence. Oh, yes.

Okay.

Yeah. Saturday night.

Saturday night. Okay.

Maybe she said yes. Oh, hey, darling.

Just so we're clear on this.

When I say go out, I mean like on a date
and not just as friends.

Yeah, I kind of figured.

Awesome. Because you see, my buddy Mark
Vanacore, he's got a theory about

windows of opportunity.

And he was like, dude, your window's
closed. And I was like, okay, son, look,

think you've been watching a little too
much Mars Venus, you know?

What? Yeah, Mars Venus. It's the TV show
that dumps Sybil Shepard. Remember?

You're starting to lose me here. Yeah, I
am.

Eight o 'clock, Park Theater.

Okay. Okay. See you then.

Yeah.

Your Honor, my client Steve Masters is
charged with violating a restraining

order that I believe should not be
upheld. Why?

Because his so -called harassment of his
brother Jamie comes at Jamie's own

request. Jamie asked Steve to sign a
contract promising to do whatever it

to stop him from overeating. And I
quote, no matter how much I protest.

You see, Your Honor, Jamie knew there
would come a time when his will would

weaken. And he would want Steve to stop.

So now Steve follows his instructions
not to stop.

And Jamie sues him.

Doesn't make any sense.

Mr. Stevens.

Your Honor, it's not the restraining
order that's invalid.

It's the so -called contract.

When Jamie asked Steve to help him lose
weight, he never imagined that Steve

would take things as far as he did.

Destruction of valuable personal
property, public humiliation.

Surely the law cannot protect this type
of behavior.

Thank you, Mr. Stevens.

We'll begin with witnesses tomorrow
morning.

In the meantime, Mr. Masters, don't
forget that there's still a restraining

order with your name on it.

Yes, Your Honor.

Should I get the kind for sensitive skin
or the kind for super sensitive skin?

Since when do you need to shave?

Kevin, you haven't even hit puberty yet.

You look like a newborn brine shrimp.

Hey, Warren.

Hey, don't forget these.

Whoa, whoa.

Mark, I'm not going to need condoms.

I'm just going to the movies.

Besides, my mom shops here, so can you
get rid of those?

These are the kind that Jeff Goldblum
uses.

The Reddit Nesquire.

I think we can.

I need a

price check over here.

How are you? No.

How much is the ultra -shave gel?

It's cheap.

Steve, Mr. Samuels.

Hey, Lewis.

Mr.

Stevens, what is the purpose of this
meeting?

My client wishes to settle this case.

No way, no how.

Steve, you should listen to what we have
to say. I can guarantee you're not

going to win in court.

We're brothers.

We don't belong in a court of law.

How crazy is this?

Look, I'm willing to forget about the
money and the damages if you'll just

to stop harassing me.

You can't win, Steve.

There's no way the judge will uphold
this contract.

Will you boys excuse us for a moment? I
need to talk to my brother.

He's right.

I'm probably going to lose in court.

But lucky for me, we ain't going back to
court.

What do you mean?

I bought myself a little insurance
policy.

A 30 -second commercial on tomorrow
night's local news.

If you don't drop this case and let me
keep helping you lose weight, the whole

town's going to see this.

What is it?

I'll see you later, Jamie.

Bill?

Do you have a VCR in your office?

What?

You sure you don't want to watch this
yourself?

No. You're my lawyer.

Plus, I don't have any skeletons in the
closet.

I got ringdings in the pantry, but no
skeletons in the closet.

My house.

It's me.

Hi.

Yeah.

This is Jamie Masters.

If you see him on the street, call him a
fat pig.

He's going to run this on TV?

Thank you. If he does that, we'll sue
him.

We're already suing him.

If he runs this on TV, I'll be the
laughing stock of the community. We've

drop the case.

We can't do that, Jamie. This is
blackmail. If you let him get away with

it'll just get worse. Trust me, we'll
deal with this in court.

Now we really need to start focusing on
party favors. You know, little keepsake,

knick -knack for your guests to take
home.

Oh, I don't think we need that.

Of course you do. Now, my cousin Gilles
can engrave absolutely anything.

He once put a bride's initials on a
cocker spaniel's ass.

The man's an artist, and I will give him
a holler.

Hi, guys. Hi.

Hey, Barbara. Hi there. Hey, Ari.

Guys,

we've got some bad news.

What's that?

Colonel Sanders can't be our best man.

No. Really?

He died in 1980.

Oh, gosh.

They sent us a coupon for free honey
barbecue wings.

Hey, look, you guys.

No.

I don't mean to sound like a broken
record on the subject, but I'm just not

certain you're taking this whole thing
seriously enough.

Sure, Ed. We could hold off for a while.

Maybe in a way that's the wise thing to
do.

But I feel like for whatever reason...

We've been given this magic moment, and
I don't want to just sit around being

wise until that moment passes.

Yeah, but if the magic were to pass that
quickly, then maybe you shouldn't be

getting married.

I think you're making my point.

Look, Ed, if you want us to have our
wedding somewhere else, just tell us.

Look, Ari, it's not that I want you to
get married somewhere else. Don't be

ridiculous.

Don't be ridiculous. Of course you're
getting married here, and you know what?

It's going to be the greatest bowling
alley wedding ever.

Thanks, guys.

Here we go.

All right, take it easy. Fine, now, what
are you doing?

If they're going to get married, they
may as well get married here.

Carol, what chance do you really think
this has of working out?

About as good a chance as any marriage.
Maybe better.

Look at them.

Oh.

Yeah, I know, but I just think that they
should... Maybe it'll work out. Maybe

it won't. Who knows? Things go wrong for
all kinds of reasons.

But who are we to stand in the way of...
Something that is so obviously meant to

be.

Well, I don't think they should split
up. I just think they should wait.

Yeah, well, waiting has its own set of
problems.

What if they start thinking too much?
What if they start second -guessing

everything?

There is such a thing as being too
cautious, isn't there?

Mr. Masters.

When your brother first came to you with
this crazy contract... Objection.

We don't think it's crazy, and we think
it's a contract, not a contract.

Sustained. What did your brother say to
mine?

Upset? Confused?

Yeah, he was upset.

He tried every diet known to mankind and
failed.

He even tried that guy Jared's thing
from Subway, but he didn't have any

so he came to me for help. He came to
you for help, and you proceeded to spend

the next few months humiliating him and
destroying his property.

That's what he asked me to do.

That's what he asked you to do?

Really? I see. So he asked you to smash
his car with a baseball bat.

He asked you to follow him around with a
loudspeaker. He asked you to videotape

him eating without his shirt on in the
privacy of his own home and threatened

put it on the local news. He asked you
to do all these things?

Well, not those things exactly, but
he... But what, Mr. Masters? You and I

know that when your brother Jamie came
to you for help, he did not plan on any

of this happening. Am I right? I don't
know. You don't know?

Nothing further.

Did you, in fact, do all those things to
your brother?

Yes.

Why?

His cholesterol is 450.

His triglycerides are over 300.

He's a borderline diabetic.

If he continues to eat the way he's
eating, my brother will die.

Stephen Masters, I believe that you care
very deeply about your brother.

In some circles, your actions could be
considered noble.

Unfortunately, the law is not one of
those circles.

As Mr. Stevens has argued, the agreement
between the two of you does not

constitute a binding contract.

Therefore, this court rules that you
must stop harassing your brother

immediately. However, because of your
good intentions, I'm dropping any claim

for damages against you.

This time.

Dismissed.

Yeah, do you enjoy going to the cinema?

Yes, Warren, I enjoy going to the
cinema.

Me too.

I also like going to the movies.

Warren,

you don't need to be nervous around me.

Okay.

Hello, welcome to Park Theater. What can
I get for you today?

Two medium sodas and two small popcorns,
please.

This is a small.

It's a small?

It's tiny.

Okay, well, we'll take two mediums then.

For a dollar less, you get the large.

All right, we'll have the large popcorn
and two medium sodas then. You've got to

make one of the sodas a large to get the
combo.

Okay, like...

We can't eat that much popcorn and drink
that much soda. You understand that?

For the love of God, no one can.

You see these two containers right here?

Yeah. These right here represent your
best value.

If you want to buy 32 of these little
guys, be my guest.

Go ahead.

I'm just trying to protect you from
yourself.

Do you even want popcorn?

No, okay, we'll take this. Whatever,
here, just take this.

Thanks.

All right, you go ahead.

Thanks. I think Jessica Martel likes
you, you know. What?

No way. No, I'm serious.

I saw the way she's looking at you
during group project. No way.

Really? No.

No, I'm telling you.

I'm not here with Jessica Martel. I'm
here with Donna Tassi.

You know, Donna, a woman is like a
flower.

You have to feed her and water her or
else... Ah!

Oh, God.

Oh, man.

I'm fine, I'm fine. Oh, it's cool, it's
cool.

A sneaker caught in the escalator.

A foot caught in the escalator.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, could you make it stop?

Okay, okay, okay, don't move, okay?
Don't go anywhere!

All right.

If you tell the manager to turn off, the
escalator has my...

I'm going to eat my foot.

That's cool, though. That's cool.

Hey, have a good night.

Let's just try the escalator.

We come here today to honor Barbara and
Ari in this blessed event.

Hold on, hold on.

Heck, you can't have a wedding.

We're not a best man.

Thanks, Ed.

You guys screw this marriage up, I'll
have to hunt you down and kill you.

We won't.

I know you won't.

I had a really great time tonight.

Really? I mean, cool.

Yeah, cool.

Me too.

Any date that involves the jaws of life
can't be that bad, right?

Unless you were in a car accident.

Cool.

Warren, how come you never kissed me on
top of Mount Perth?

Oh, that's a great question.

Really, I just... I don't know. I was
looking for a sign or something, you

like a signal.

I just figured you weren't interested in
me.

What? No, no, no, no. That's crazy.

I'm very interested in you. I possess a
great level of interest in

you.

You just needed a signal?

Yeah, you know, because then, like...

I thought... I thought I missed my
window of opportunity, because you and I

never, like, you know, kissed up there
or anything, so I figured it was over

we'd just be friends and stuff.

You just needed a signal?

Yeah, like... Just, like, a look or a
tap on the shoulder that

said, Hey, Warren, now's a good time to
kiss me, or, like, something like that.

Thank you.

Call me unpredictable.

Tell me I'm impractical.

Rainbows I'm inclined to pursue.

Call me irresponsible.

To the bride and groom, may your love
and happiness last a lifetime.

Yes, sir!

I'm responsibly mad for you.

You know, you really should consider
keeping Stuckyball open for weddings

often. I don't know.

One may be enough that many people want
to get married in a bowling alley.

You think?

That's sort of nice.

Matter of fact, when I get married...

I'm considering doing it right here at
the old ducky ball. Yeah, no problem.

know, as long as it's not league night.

I think those kids were really involved.

Yeah, so do I.

Then again, who knows? Kids, it's all
just one big crapshoot anyway.

Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, you
can only be so sure, you know, and then

you've got to take the plunge, let the
chips fall where they may.

I think I just used two clichés in the
same sentence.

Does this mean you're coming around on
fate?

Fate?

I'm a big believer in fate.

In fact, if I bowl a strike, I'm going
to ask you to marry

me. If that's so.

Mm -hmm.

What's that?

That's me moving to the edge of my seat.

You're going to give me a chance to pick
up the spare.

What's that going to get you?

One night of unbridled lovemaking.

Oh, dream on.

Dream on.

Come on. It's fate.

It's fate. I mean, I don't even want to,
but it's fate. There's nothing we can

do. You don't even want to. I don't want
to. You are messing with the pink dots

here, and I will not be party to it.