All language subtitles for ed_s01e13_the_music_box

Is she hot?

Mike, I'm not about to date this woman.
I'm about to have a broken bottle back

alley brawl with her in a court of law.
You tell the district attorney that Ed

Stevens called again and tell her I find
her behavior to be totally

unacceptable. Goodbye.

She's kind of hot.

Yeah. You and I are now officially one
-on -one in the courtroom.

What? You won the case. I won the
appeal.

Would you like to have a drink with me
Friday night?

You know about the big date. I don't
know about the big date. Ed didn't tell

about the big date?

You're so presumptuous. You can't
possibly tell me about a stupid date.

the one who decided we should just be
friends. You violated our friendship.

violated our friendship. How?

I don't know.

Hi. I dropped off my music box yesterday
to be repaired. My name's Carol Bessie.

Right. I've got it right here.

Very beautiful box.

Thank you. My grandmother gave it to me
when I was little. Very rare box.

Are you aware of how valuable this is?

No. No, not really.

How valuable? Not that I would ever sell
it.

Well, you see these markings here?

Uh -huh. These are royal markings dating
this back to around 1608.

Wow.

So... Well, honestly, if you sold this,
say you could get three million dollars.

What? Just kidding.

Never get tired of that joke.

But, really, it is worth about $1 ,800.

For $1 ,800? Wow.

Great. I've got to tell you, the $3
million figure kind of takes some of the

impact out of that.

Well.

So, Eddie, where's your little district
attorney friend, Bonnie, home today?

Please, you guys, we just had the one
drink together.

Yeah? She looked pretty hot.

Just the one drink.

Yeah, Ed, when are we going to get the
formal introductions? I mean, we're all

adults here.

Anyone in the mood for a blinch?

Hello, lunching friends.

Mike. Hi.

Mike, what the hell are you wearing? Oh,
my God, I know what this is about.

That's right, you do, honey.

What is it about?

Well, we have a little tradition in the
Burton household.

If you go five years without using
something, you have to throw it out.

And this Friday's a five -year
checkpoint.

What's up with your pants?

Oh, Carol, these are my fat pants. See?
Yeah. I used to be a 38.

Now, by wearing these today, I just
bought myself another five years.

But, honey.

Why would you even want to keep those?

My metabolism changes.

Ladies and gentlemen, will the owner of
a silver cougar please approach the

hostess stand? Your car alarm is on.

Also, we're out of gnocchi.

I have a silver cougar. I ordered
gnocchi.

I smell a guy shut your back door and
drive away. I was on a cigarette break

the time.

Crap, I'm in a patch.

Fine.

Okay, all my packages are here.

Wait a second.

My music box is gone. Are you sure? Yes,
I'm sure. It's the only thing that's

missing. I've had that music box since I
was eight years old.

Let's call the police and see what we
can get about it.

Dukakis?

Yeah, he was the real deal.

Watching the.

The guy drove away in a red beetle. Did
he get a license plate? No, sir. Is it

an old beetle or one of them new
beetles?

Who the hell are you?

Ed Stevens, friend of the victim.

Where have I seen you before?

Are you one of the guys I arrested for
running hooch up from the border?

Nope. What border?

What's hooch? No, you're the bowling
lawyer.

Listen, why don't you leave the
questions to me?

You got it.

But you know that old beetle, new beetle
thing, you should use that. I mean,

let's not stand on ceremony, right?

It was a new beetle. Thanks.

Ma 'am, are you sure nothing else was
stolen except the music box? No, we're

sure it was just the music box.

Is your name ma 'am?

Nobody's name is ma 'am.

Maybe Eisenhower? Okay, okay, sir.

Yes, I'm sure it was just the music box.

Well, let me poke around and see what I
can find.

Did you get a look at the guy?

Here's a question that the chief might
choose to ask you down the road in the

future.

You have very nice eyes.

I mean, after all, isn't Tom Green just
Lenny Bruce with a video camera? Yeah.

I never thought of it that way. True.
It's true.

Jessica! Hey.

Hey, Tim. What's up, Steve?

Hey, Warren. How you doing?

Everything's copacetic.

Just, you know, working it out with my
crew.

My peeps. You know, my posse. Just
keeping it real.

So, you guys shopping, or...? Yeah.
Sherlock.

We were.

Just bought lovely Jessica here a new
bowling ball bag.

We're all going to sign up for a bowling
league.

Oh, really?

Bowling? Yeah, we're not really bowling.

We're just bowling.

Ironically.

Right. That sounds cool.

Jeswick, did you get the license plate?

Oh, you're kidding me, right? Just
answer. Did you get the license plate?

You're not really going to do that joke,
are you?

Of the guy that ran over your face?

That's good, man.

All right.

Hi,

Ed.

Hi, Bonnie.

I brought you a gift.

Beef jerky. That's right.

Is there an occasion?

Yeah, we got to our first date without
telling each other. I thought a reward

was in order.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, listen, a friend of mine had a
music box stolen from their car

and the police don't seem to be doing
much about it. I wonder if you could

him a push?

Who's your friend?

My friend.

My friend's an old high school friend,
Carol Bessie.

Carol Bessie? I feel like I've heard
that name before.

Yeah, I may have mentioned her to you.
She, you know...

Average height, good teeth.

Didn't I see her when I was coming out
of your office that one day?

Short, blonde hair.

I think you did run into her, yeah.
She's cute.

Yeah. So, will you see what you can do?

You seem to be taking the case of the
missing music box very seriously there,

Ed. You should really think about
turning into that beef jerky there,

I'm a vegetarian.

Really?

Mm -hmm.

Oh.

Okay, size 8 and size 11.

Happy game.

We want to sign up a team for league
bowling.

Oh, gee, the league is actually booked
solid.

In fact, it would take someone like
Benjamin Franklin to find a spot in this

league right now, you know what I'm
saying?

Benjamin Franklin.

Benjamin Franklin? Yeah, the guy on the
$100 bill.

Why would Benjamin Franklin be able to
get into the league? He's not even

Okay, let me go in a different direction
with this. Oh, hey, where did I put the

league sign -up sheet?

Maybe Benjamin Franklin could encourage
me to remember?

Dude, why do you keep talking about
Benjamin Franklin?

Why must we let Philistines rob our
world of its elegance? Okay, here.

Sign up there.

Four to a team.

You guys got a name? The whatever.

Very nice. Very detached.

Whoa, what?

Well, if I didn't just buy beachfront
property in Coincidence City.

I'm here to join the league, too.

What's up, Tim? Steve?

Hey, you guys need an extra? Because I'm
rolling like a buck eighty.

Maybe one ninety.

Lanes are oiled, right? We already got
four, Cheswick.

Well, that's cool.

Hey, Stubby, can you put me on their
team?

Tell them there are no other spots.

I can't do that, Warren. That would
violate my ethics.

Ethics? You were just trying to squeeze
that kid for a hundred bucks.

I'll tell you what.

You can be on my team.

That way you get to be in the league and
you can make your moves on little

Fraulein over there.

Hey, look, it's up to you, man, but that
is the only way in, okay? There are no

other teams, there are no other
vacancies.

Yeah, okay.

All right, thanks, man.

Right here? Mm -hmm.

What's the team called?

Badass Cowboys, Lane 2.

Look for the Stetsons.

Okay.

You know, Mike, I don't know what I'm
doing with this girl Bonnie Hane. You

know, one minute we're arguing, the next
we're kissing. You know, she's nice,

she's a hard ass. She likes me, then she
insults me.

I can't figure any of that out. And to
top it off, I didn't even tell Carol the

whole truth about our date. I just said
we were having drinks, and now it seems

a little late to say anything else about
it.

Well, Ed, I ask you only one thing.

What's that?

If and when you do engage in intimate
relations with Bonnie Hane, please

remember all the details.

For my sake. Come on, Mike.

You tell me you haven't thought about
having sex with Bonnie Hane.

Hey.

Carol. Hey, Carol.

Chief Spencer has called me three times
today. He's suddenly being very helpful.

Yeah, it's because Ed told Bonnie Hayne
to push him around.

Really?

Well, thanks. It's working.

Thank Bonnie for me.

Okay. What did Chief Spencer say?

Well, he wants me to come down to the
station right now. You want to come with

me? Oh, yeah, sure. You got it. How
about you, Mike? You in?

Nope. Nancy will be home any minute. I
can't wait to tell her that my itty

-bitty booklet will be around for
another five years.

Understood.

Hi.

I'm Warren Cheswick.

Phil said that I could bowl with you
guys.

Look at this.

Phil put a Chinese kid on the team.

Oh, me? No, I'm not. Okay, Warren.

Harry Lachmather, a mechanic over at
Lachmather Auto Repair. And this is

Matatopoulos. She's in textiles.

Offer to make a run to the snack bar.

Can I get you something from the snack
bar?

See if they got Bundt cake.

Surprise me.

How can I? I don't... Come on, earn your
bones. Earn your bones.

I take the prize.

I really don't think that's necessary.
Of course it's necessary.

I mean, Bonnie went out of her way to
talk to the police chief for me.

Maybe I should get her a lovely picture
frame. You know, that's what I'm going

to do. Or get certificates to a local
eatery. Kelly, feeling okay?

Yeah. Great.

There he is, the man with the special
connections.

Pulling strings.

Making City Hall dance the Macarena.

Look, the music box just happened to be
very important to my friend Carol here.

I'm very sorry if I stepped on any toes.

Oh, not at all. I love nothing more than
being pushed around by a 30 -year -old

district attorney. Gets the heart
pumping.

You remember your waiter?

Hey. Hey.

Have you found my music box yet? No, but
what we did do was narrow down some

possible suspects.

Now, Jeff here said he saw the
perpetrator drive away in a red Beetle.

were only six of those registered in
Stuckyville.

We pulled the driver's licenses of the
owners from the computer.

Any of these individuals look familiar
to either of you? This is a guy.

That's a woman.

Really?

Oh, yeah. I know what it is. She's in my
Ashtanga yoga class.

No, this guy.

This guy looks familiar to me, but I
can't figure out from where.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think this might
be him.

Matt Roberts.

Great. Bring him in. Not so fast.

I'll have to go talk to your girlfriend,
the DA.

That's a good one to think that she...

You

know, whenever I'm cooking,

no matter how simple the meal, I always
try to think like the Iron Chef. Oh, I

love that show. You know the Iron Chef
lost last week? I know, I saw it. God,

the guy got a little cocky with his
plan.

This Bonnie Hayne is very attractive.

Whoa, whoa, have we changed subjects
here? I think you just gave me

whiplash. She's smart, too.

I am so excited.

Why? Well, because you have given me
reason to say something that I have

wanted to say.

Are you ready? What?

Don't go there, girlfriend.

Thought that would have been more fun.

I'm just saying that I think Bonnie
could be really good for Ed. You know,

they're both lawyers. They can get
involved in some really elaborate legal

conversations. You know, like, what do
you think of Milo Contendere? Really? Me

too. You know, back and forth like that.

Cut the crap, Carol.

I'm simply making the observation
that... Okay, number one, I love you

sister, and I will always love you like
a sister. Number two, you're being

insane. But Ed threw himself at you. You
didn't want him, and now that you may

not be able to have him, now you want
him.

I never said I wanted him.

Ed and I are just friends.

Number three, it is absolutely
impossible for a single man and a single

be just friends. This point was made
very clear to us by talented writer

-director Nora Ephron.

Hey, Bonnie.

Sorry I'm late. I had to duck behind a
jackknife tractor trailer. Why is it

always a tractor trailer or a jackknife?
No problem. I'm a girl who'll wait

forever when egg rolls are at stake.

Ah. So did they arrest the guy yet?

Ed, I hate to break it to you, but we
don't have enough to arrest the guy.

Not enough?

Guy drives a Beetle. Waiter identified
the guy.

No, no, no. The waiter kind of sort of
identified him. He also identified a

woman in his yoga class.

Well, please talk to the guy.

Well, we ran a check on him.

Matt Roberts is a 52 -year -old crossing
guard with absolutely no criminal

record. He hasn't even gotten a speeding
ticket in the last three years.

So?

So, Chief Spencer doesn't want to go and
talk to him. Between me and you, I

think he's a little peeved that I leaned
on him.

Either way, I have to agree with him.
We've got no case here.

When I first met you, you were
prosecuting a guy for putting coins in

people's parking meters. Now you're
going soft?

No, no, no, no. There's a difference. I
had evidence to present against the

parking meter guy. Here we're just
grasping at straws.

Maybe the difference is you just don't
want to help Carol Vesey.

Oh, my God.

Don't flatter yourself.

Don't flatter yourself.

What does that mean? It means it's
ridiculous that the police at least

talk to the guy.

It's ridiculous that you would think our
personal relationship would in any way

influence the way I would do my job.

Okay, fine.

Don't bring the guy in.

Ed? Yeah?

Why do you care so much about this music
box?

You're spending a lot of time and energy
on it.

Just trying to help out a friend, that's
all.

A friend whom you feel guilty about?

You're a prosecutor, all right? Not a
psychiatrist.

I'm sorry. That's cheap. Look, why don't
we just forget all about that and just

stuff our faces with so much MSG we
start to see birds, okay?

This is not going to work. It is going
to work. You just need to get a part of

the mic. Remember to zoom all the way
into his face.

Hey, 10 bucks.

I'm like, there's no time. Dad, there's
always time. 10 bucks. You touch that

guy's bald spot.

You didn't even get back.

Music box. Music box.

Music box.

Fancy music box. Very fancy music box.

Did you get it? Yeah, I...

Where

the hell's the fried calamari? I
specifically asked for calamari. Well,

don't have any. And it's not calamari,
okay? It's calamari.

Calamari. Get a load of this. The
Chinese kids teach me how to speak

Yeah, that's another thing. Watch your
mouth, son. You're talking to a lady.

I'm in hell.

Young Warren, may I give you a piece of
advice?

What? If you love something, set it
free. If it comes back to you, it's

keep. If it doesn't, it never was.

You're a damn poet.

Thank you, Harold.

Would you look at how this thing cooks a
chicken? I mean, I could even think of

throwing something like this out.

What's Falcone on your shirt there?

You know, remember Falcone? It's one of
the best mafia shows ever on television.

What about Sopranos?

Some people like Pepsi, some people like
Coke. That's a good point. Yeah.

Hey, thank you for coming, Ms. District
Attorney.

Come on in. This is Mike. Hi.

Hello. Please, have a seat. All right.

Let's see this grand piece of evidence.

Behold.

All right, there's your precious Matt
Roberts. Now, here I come.

We turn back around.

I say, music box. Watch what happens.

Music box. Enter music box.

There! Right there, he flinched. See
that? Right there. Flinched. Tell her,

Mike. Yeah, yeah, flinched. Flinched.
That's a flinch of a guilty man.

Oh, my God.

What? You're nuts.

Even if he did flinch, you don't have a
case.

Come on, Bonnie. At least have the
police talk to the guy.

Please.

All right, you win. I'll have the police
question Matt Roberts.

See that, Mike? District attorney's on
our side.

And I'll question Carol.

What?

Carol Vesey. I'll have to talk to her,
of course.

What about?

About the case.

No, you can just talk to me. I know
everything.

No, I have a lot of questions for Carol
Vesey.

Bye, Ed.

Bye, Bonnie.

Bye. Bye.

I'm a happily married man.

I know, Mike.

I'm not talking to you, Ed.

You're talking to me.

Mr. Stephens and Miss Bentley are here
to see you.

Send them in, please.

Good morning.

Bonnie, um, this is... Carol Vesey. Yes,
of course. It's good to see you again.

Likewise. Likewise. Thank you so much
for helping me out. No, no, it's my

pleasure. It's no trouble at all.
Please, sit.

Right.

Thanks. Oh, Bonnie, so we have good
news.

What's that?

Oh, I realized why Matt Roberts looks so
familiar.

I saw him in the store the day I went to
pick up the music box.

Are you sure?

Positive. He must have overheard the
clerk telling me how valuable the box

Hmm. That doesn't prove anything, of
course, but it might give us enough to

bring him in.

That's great.

The only problem is the judge might
think it sounds just a little bit too

convenient that you remembered all of a
sudden.

How are you going to explain that?

Well, I'll just tell him the truth, that
I see a lot of people in life, you

know, sometimes dozens a day, and it can
be hard to keep track of who's who, you

know, because people, they're
everywhere.

Maybe you guys can work on that.
Absolutely.

Right. So you'll push for an arrest?

Yes, I will.

Thanks, Bonnie.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Mr. Roberts, would you please tell the
court where you were at 5 .30 p .m. on

February 3rd?

I was at Hurley's.

Sipping Rob Roy's, watching an old
Dennis the Menace rerun. Do you recall

plot of the episode?

I sure do.

Dennis the Menace had spilled something
on Mr. Wilson's couch.

Root beer, my memory serves.

That's just what you told the police.

And a phone call to the local TV station
confirmed that.

And finally, can anyone vouch for your
presence at Hurley's that evening?

The bartender, Jim Russell, he'll back
me up. Well, according to the police

report, he already has.

Thank you, Mr. Roberts.

Mr. Roberts, how often do you visit
Hurley's?

I've been there a couple times.

But you do know the bartender, Jim
Russell, on a personal basis, don't you?

We're acquainted.

I have here a membership roster of the
Stuckyville Goose Hunting Club. It

here that both you and Mr. Russell are
members.

So what? There's got to be a hundred
guys in the club.

Do you consider Mr. Russell a friend?

Yeah, I guess.

Look, this is a small town.

The fact that I bump into the guy here
and there doesn't mean a damn thing.

If you're going to call me a liar, you
better have some proof.

Nothing further at this time.

I guess there's not too much Bonnie
could do about it. The guy's alibi is

solid. Ed, please don't feel like you
have to defend her.

Bonnie is bright, well -groomed, a
credit to the legal profession.

Molly, you should see this woman at
work. It's dumber and inspiring is what

is. You know, I think I'm going to
remain a disinterested third party.

You guys, we went on one date, okay? One
date.

Evening, ladies.

Come on.

Eric. Ed.

Oh, right, sorry.

Hey, I need three kielbasa platters,
too.

Sweet.

You got it.

Hey, Warren.

You want to take our order?

Oh, really?

What would you like this evening,
madame?

Hey, Warren.

I'll have two hot dogs with mustard and
relish.

Yo, girl boy, need a double dachshund
with yellow neckties and green

Diner slang.

Oh, cool.

Hey, Lucky Charm, where's my kielbasa?
It's coming.

And this time, don't forget the damn
Funyuns. Okay, okay.

Why'd she call you, Lucky Charm? She
didn't.

She was just ordering cereal.

Poor thing.

Seriously, Ed, do you think I'm ever
going to get my music box back?

I don't know. It doesn't look likely
right now.

Look, I don't care who took it or what
happens to the guy. I just want it back.

I know. You know, I just have a gut
feeling this Matt Robertson's lying.

Well, how far do gut feelings go in
court these days?

You know, I might just have to pay a
little visit to Hurley's.

Excuse me, Barkeep?

I'm sorry, do you mind being called
that?

Barkeep? People still say that, right?

You want a drink?

Yeah, yes, please.

What do you want?

Ah, martini.

A martini, please.

There you go.

Feel free to hold the vermouth.

Look, buddy.

We don't got no vermouth.

We don't got no peppermint schnapps, and
we don't got no green melon -flavored

crap. What we got is whiskey, tequila,
and gin.

So drink up, or get lost.

Fair enough?

Okay.

You see what I did? Instead of using an
extra strike, I chose a smiley face.

Listen, you guys, would you mind, like,
not calling me Lucky Charm in front of

that girl over there?

Which girl? My contacts are all dried
up.

I'll see you.

Damn, she's found in Cheryl Tiggs.

Oh, now, Harry, darling, let's not get
crazy.

Looks like Lucky's got himself a little
girlfriend.

And all the time I thought she was gay.

Why?

I just assumed.

Says hi.

Who? Matt Roberts.

He's a good buddy of mine.

We used to hunt moose together.

Matt don't hunt moose.

He hunts goose.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant when I
said moose. What I meant was just a big

goose. You know how some big men have
the nickname moose?

It works just the same way for a really
large goose.

anyway matt says to say hi and uh thanks
for what you did i

don't know what the hell you're talking
about that's good yeah that's good keep

it on the qt and hush hush on the down
low but listen anyway matt says he knows

what you did and that uh one one good
turn deserves another one hand washes

other one you know what i'm saying
stitch in time save nine my friend get

here okay

Now, Mr.

Gutman, is it?

Guzman. I'm half Mexican. Mr. Guzman,
you claim to have seen my client fleeing

Miss Vesey's car. That's right.

From 150 feet away.

I see what you're doing here. This is
just like that scene in My Cousin Vinny.

Mr. Guzman, are you 100 % sure of what
you saw?

I'm pretty sure.

Pretty sure.

Well, now you see, the bartender at
Hurley's was very sure that Matt Roberts

sitting there having a drink.

Nothing further.

We're gonna lose.

I don't like to lose.

I gotta go check something out.

I'll see you guys later.

You like him, don't you?

Oh, no, actually, we're just friends.

Really? Yeah.

Buddies.

Congratulations, Ed. You just inherited
my world -famous collection of hilarious

drinking birds.

I don't think I want your world -famous
collection of hilarious drinking birds.

Really? You sure about that? Maybe you
ought to sit back, watch him drink a

little bit, and then make up your mind.
Right. Mike, just give me a second.

Ha!

I knew it.

So take the birds?

You just use the birds. You get to keep
the birds.

I care for the birds.

Mr. Roberts, can I speak to you?

I'm busy.

Your rush hour, huh?

You please leave me alone. Look, I know
your alibi is no good.

You're on record as saying you were
drinking Rob Roy's at Hurley's? That's

right. Rob Roy contains scotch and
vermouth.

Hurley's doesn't have any vermouth.

That's funny, huh?

I go to Hurley's, order a martini, but
Hurley's doesn't make martinis because

Hurley's doesn't have any vermouth. And
a Rob Roy contains scotch and vermouth.

So, my friend, I don't think you were at
Hurley's sipping Rob Roy's.

Matlock would be proud, don't you think?

I must have misremembered. Right. Look,
Mr. Roberts, I don't really care whether

you're found guilty or not. I really
don't. What I care about is recovering

friend's music box. So I give you my
word that if that music box were to

end up on my desk at Stucky Bowl, I'd
talk to the DA into taking it easy on

I didn't steal no music box.

Fine, if that's the way you want to do
this. But this DA, he's a real killer.

Ah, bowling.

Bowling, bowling, bowling.

How few appreciated sensual qualities.

The whisper of the leather soles against
the freshly polished wood.

Explosive clatter of the pins. The
gleaming luster of the balls.

Cheswick, shut up.

And that would be touche.

Hey, kid.

Yeah? That's your Lexus Park, that's it?

Uh -huh.

That's a happening ride, son.

Thanks. You got heated seats in that
bitch? Sure do.

Mr.

Roberts, what brings you here?

Mr. Stevens, I'm not a thief.

I've never done this before.

You've got to understand, things have
been rough for me lately.

My mother busted her hip.

I got $10 ,000 in credit card debt.

They just repoed my minivan.

I ain't trying to make excuses.

I just... I don't know what got into me.

I heard how valuable the thing was, and
then I... I know I can't even sleep at

night.

Will you please help me?

I told you I'd talk to the DA, and I
will.

Thank you.

You did the right thing here today.

Why don't you go first, Lucky Charm?

Let's see what you got.

Lucky charm.

Lucky. Lucky!

Let's go, Lucky!

Lucky!

What? I meant that sincerely.

Hey, come on, Lucky charm. Let's see
what you got, huh?

Come on, throw it down the lane.

Come on, you badass cowboy.

Come on, get up on that horse.

Throw it! Come on, Jeswick!

Come on, you got it. You got it.
Straight down and... Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Unlucky. A one.

Now, that's cute.

It's just cute, isn't it?

I think I'm going to

step outside for a

smoke. You can smoke right here, stupid.

Yes, I can.

But for this particular smoke, I choose
to step outside.

Is that, that's my, that's my music box.
Oh, my music box.

It's amazing. How did you get it?

Let's just say it's kind of a long
story.

Well, come in and warm up and tell it.
I'll make some coffee.

Um, I'd love to. I, uh, I gotta, I have
a thing.

Okay.

Okay. Well, we'll talk later then.

Definitely, yes.

Thank you for this.

Thanks a lot.

Night.

Well, kids, how do you feel that the
badass cowboys put the hurt on you?

Lady, you really think we care?

You know, something you and I have a lot
in common. What?

I used to be just like you. Didn't give
a damn about nothing.

Spent my days at the dog track eating
fried chicken straight out the bucket. I

weighed 328 pounds.

And then Phil took me under his wing.

Helped me get my self -esteem back.

I could do the same thing for you,
Stephen, if you'd just give me half a

You people are creeping me out.

Bye, guys.

Night, Warren.

Yeah, night, Joseph.

Lucky? I got something for you.

Anaka.

Thanks, Harry.

You may need that when you drive the
lady home tonight.

What the

hell is this?

Great, great. This is just what I
needed.

Hey, Jess, can I give you a lift or
whatever?

Am I going to be okay?

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Nicely done, Harold.

Get your hands up.

So, you see, Miss Hayne, Dating a fella
who owns a bowling alley has its

advantages.

I bet you let all the girls put their
head underneath the nacho cheese

dispenser. You enjoyed that, huh?

How could you not?

I've got another big surprise for you.

What's that?

I got Matt Roberts to confess.

You did? How?

I figured out he couldn't be drinking
raw boys at Hurley's because Hurley's

doesn't serve them.

I told him he broke down.

Wow. How are George full of you?

Thank you, thank you. You know, the
thing is, Juan, he's kind of torn up

this. He did give me the music box back
and gave me a very sincere apology. I

could tell he was really sorry.

As he should be.

Yeah, definitely as he should,
definitely. But I do feel bad for the

I don't think he'll ever do anything
like this again, so... Nice.

If you can, try and take it easy on him.

Take it easy on him?

Yeah.

Can't let a guy like that play on your
sympathies. He belongs in jail.

Well, that's debatable, but see, the
thing is, I...

I sort of told him I'd help him out, you
know, in exchange for the music box.

Help him out how?

Talking to you.

What, are you delirious?

You thought you could leverage our
personal relationship? I mean, what were

thinking? Bonnie, I just think the guy
deserves a second chance. Can't you just

give him probation? No. Just give him a
little... No, Ed, forget it. The guy

needs to learn a lesson. He belongs in
jail. And what you did here tonight is

the textbook definition of writing a
check that your ass can't cash.

Come on, Bonnie. Good night, Ed.

Thanks for the ride, Warren.

Can I ask you a question before you go?

Sure.

There's a chance that one of these days
you get tired of guys like Tim Cooper

and maybe consider, you know, like,
dating a loser.

Warren, you're not a loser. Thanks, but
I've decided to stop fighting it and

just, like, go with it.

You know, ride the wave.

It's like a new strategy.

It's its own strategy.

goodnight

Mr. Roberts, I hereby find you guilty of
theft.

Your Honor.

Yes, Miss Hay?

In light of the fact that Mr. Roberts
showed contrition by confessing his

and returning the music box, I'd like to
request that you be lenient with your

sentence. The people would be more than
satisfied with six months probation.

Very well, then.

Six months probation it is.

Mr. Roberts, keep your paws off other
people's knickknacks.

I will.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Court adjourned.

Well, that's that.

I'm confused.

Ed told me that you would be going for
the maximum penalty.

I changed my mind.

That's what we women do, right?

Hi. Hi.

I just thought you should know that I
asked the judge for probation.

Really?

It's a miracle. I finally talked you
into something. What are you talking

I was planning on asking for probation
from the very beginning.

Then why didn't you just say so?

Because I didn't appreciate you thinking
you can wield influence over my

decision. What?

That's insane.

We're fighting for no reason?

My professional integrity is reason
enough. Your professional integrity's

nothing to do with it. Hey, the hell it
doesn't. You had no right to tell that

guy that I was... Bonnie, just stop.
Just stop. Please, you know, I've given

lot of thought to this. This... Whatever
it is that's going on between us the

last couple of days, and you know what?
If you help me come to a decision, then

I'm tired, okay? I'm tired of your
little games. I'm tired of you saying

thing and then turning around and doing
that. What are you doing? What are

you... No, no.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.
Okay, this is not normal human behavior.

Bonnie, I think you and I would both be
better served...

We should limit our relationship to...
We

should go inside.

Yeah, yeah, inside's good.

Now I'm locking my keys in the house.

Uh -oh. But you know what? It's fine.

Because Mike has a spare set of keys.
I'm just going to run over there and get

them, okay? So wait here.

Maybe I should go.

It's getting late.

You know what? I could just use my
secret method for getting into the

What am I thinking? I'll just use the
secret method, which happens all the

I lock my keys in the house, and I use
this method. You have the key hidden?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Don't move. I'll be right back.

Ed, it's 11 .40. We got 20 minutes to
save Bobby Hall hockey from the

Mike, now's not a good time.

Ed, you're not thinking clearly. Bobby
Hall hockey, man. Don't you want...

Wait a second.

Is your hair messed up?

Goodbye, Mike.

Tonight, young Ed Stevens becomes a man.

Yeah!