All language subtitles for ed_s01e10_losing_streak

Dad, hey.

Hey, Dad. Hey.

Come on in, you guys. Come on in,
please.

How was the flight?

Oh, don't ask.

I nearly died of embarrassment.

Why?

I always pre -ordered the kosher meal
because they have to make it special so

you know it's fresh.

Right. But this time they didn't bring
enough on the plane.

So they made me give my lunch to this
Jewish guy. Your father demanded that

man flip a coin for it.

Fair's fair, Natalie.

He made him go two out of three.

I'm sorry, I'm still getting unpacked
here.

So, uh, what do you guys think?

Eh, not bad, Eddie, not bad.

But me, I loved your New York place.

I missed that view of the Chrysler
building.

Yeah, Dad, but, uh, you know, now I have
my own backyard and my own garage, and

the guy next door drives a Chrysler, so
I got a great view of that.

Oh, I got a lovely card from Liz. Says
she's moved to Soho.

Sounds so bohemian, Soho.

Have you talked to her?

No, actually, I don't talk to a lawyer
quite a bit, though. Seems like quite a

nice guy.

Oh, please, you guys, have a seat.

What kind of rent are they charging
these days in Stuckyville?

Actually, Dad, I bought the place. Lock,
stock, and plastic of whole street

covers.

What?

We thought you were just taking a break.

A break?

You know, from your real life.

This is my real life.

How was your weekend?

Not bad.

How about you? What did you do? I
watched a lot of basketball.

How come?

The girls' JV basketball team needs a
new coach.

Yeah. I think I might apply for the job.

Well, what happened to the old coach?

Oh, quit.

Day after their 47th consecutive loss.

Wow. Yeah. It's a new school record.

Anyway, Coach Carlisle is talking about
ending the JV program, which won't

exactly do wonders for the girls'
college team.

That's great. I think you should do
that, Molly. Yeah. Yeah. Plus, I have

wanted to yell out, Hey!

Hit the shot!

The kids stole the tea again.

It just keeps getting funnier.

Molly? Hudson.

Oh, my.

Agnes Bushner.

Oh, my God. It's been forever.

You look exactly the same. Yeah, well,
you know, minus the psychedelic first T

-shirt. Well, oh, Carol, sweetie, you
remember Agnes? We were classmates.

Oh, yeah.

Hi, Agnes. How are you?

Fine. You?

Great. Great.

It's really good to see you again.

Uh -huh.

Listen, I'll be in town. Oh. We have to
get together. I'll call you. Okay. Bye,

Aggie. Bye.

Bye, Aggie.

Miss?

What can I do for you, Phil? No, no,
you're doing it, my man. I just love

watching you work. It's poetry in
motion.

You never tell where the admiration
leaves off and the condescension begins.

So what's the story? The Fed's finally
busting this little dog and pony show?

Close. My parents are visiting and I
want them to see I'm running a serious

practice and I'm trying to play down
this whole bowling alley thing.

Surely you jest, he said, chuckling.

I'd like to ask you a favor.

You want me to hide the bowling balls?

No, I'd like you to... Look, don't take
this the wrong way.

When my parents get here, could you try
to...

I mean, not that I don't like you the
way you are. I do. Spit it out, Edward.

We're all friends here.

Could you try being a little less Phil?

What? What I mean by that? No, no, no,
no, no.

No, I read you loud and clear, senor.
Don't worry your pretty little head.

Really?

That'd be great.

I won't have to worry.

Uh -oh.

Here they come.

Oh, why don't you let me stash that away
for you?

Oh, thanks, Phil. No, thank you, Ed.

Hey!

Hi, honey.

Hi. Welcome to the law offices of Edward
J. Stevens Esquire.

Where? Right here.

I'm very on law.

I didn't realize your office was
actually inside the bowling alley.

Adjacent to the bowling alley. Adjacent
to the bowling alley. Once you pass

through this doorway, you're no longer
in a bowling alley. You're in a law

office.

I'm still in the bowling alley.

You're not looking at this the right
way, Dad. Think of it as a strip mall,

know, where there's separate businesses
sharing the same physical edifice.

My son works in the bowling alley.

Do your clients have to change their
shoes before you meet with them?

No, Mom, they don't.

Of all the withering looks I've gotten,
that was by far the most withering.

I thought my face was going to melt off
like at the end of Raiders of the Lost

Ark when they opened that box.

Ark, right.

It's not like anyone else is just a tiny
bit ironic. How so?

Well, you know, head cheerleader Carol
Vesey worrying about what nerdy little

Agnes Bushner thinks of her.

Come on, I was never anything but nice
to her.

What?

Nothing. I mean, you were never outright
mean to her.

But? But you never went out of your way
to be nice to people like her.

Us. But I never even knew you guys back
then.

That's just it.

Agnes never got a chance to get to know
you the way that we do now. So she still

thinks of you the way she did in high
school.

You know, the way we all did.

Which would be how exactly?

You know what? You have got to taste
this shepherd's pie.

This is shepherdlicious.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Then I thought, wait a minute.

Stucky Mustaine's entire act can be
considered his intellectual property.

not just his tricks. He doesn't have to
just own the tricks. He owns the act.

That's pretty neat, huh?

When we visited you last year in New
York, you were working on a $300 billion

merger that changed the structure of the
national economy.

To me, that was neat.

Yes, Dad, yes. But back then I was
working for corporations.

Now I work for people.

Party clowns.

Magicians, actually.

Just one.

So far.

Excuse me.

Bill. Uh, Mom, Dad, this is... Bill.

Hi. Hello. So nice to meet you folks.
Can I get you anything? Some coffee? Do

you have some Sanka? You bet.

Ed, there are some gentlemen waiting
here to see you. Shall I have them wait,

or... No, send them in.

Yeah. Thanks. Thank you.

Bill.

Um, Mom, Dad, why don't you stick around
and watch me help these clients?

Send in the clones.

Third time this month.

Damn kids.

They think this is funny.

Well, this ain't funny.

Family feud.

What?

Family feud is funny.

I love it when they're playing the feud,
and somebody guesses an answer, and

their whole family starts shouting, good
answer, good answer, but then they get

it wrong, and Louis Anderson says
something hilarious.

Louis Anderson is a genius.

I prefer the all -new Hollywood Squares.

Why?

I got a thing for Whoopi.

I'm Frank. This is my buddy Dave.

Hi, it's Steven. These are my parents.
You guys mind if I hang out while we

talk?

Are they cool? You can trust them if
that's what you mean.

I have always been able to tell when
people are cool.

It is like a gift.

And I can see that this man and this
woman are cool.

Natalie, let's go.

Dad, Dad, please.

What can I do for you guys?

We've got serious trouble.

You're being sued by Ted Schmidt?

Former co -worker at Stuckyville
Container. The box factory on the north

We are box makers, by trade.

You see that box?

Yes. We made that box.

Is that right? With giant machines.

Okay. So, why is this guy suing you?

Well, things can get a little dull down
at the plant, so us guys started playing

pranks on each other, you know, just to
make life more interesting.

Once I filled another man's shoes with
non -dairy whipped topping, a good time

was had by all.

So, uh, this guy...

Got upset over a little prank. A big
prank.

A very big prank.

This is the nicest tea we've ever had.

I hope they don't steal it.

They won't.

I'm going to hide up here, catch them
red -handed, and drag them down to

You want to help?

Okay.

Have you signed up for that coaching job
yet? No, not yet. I was actually on my

way down to the gym.

How would you feel about letting me do
it instead?

You want to coach JV basketball? Why?

Because I have a basketball, Jones.

Our little run -in with Agnes Bushner
really got to you, huh?

Yeah, it did. And I want to help those
girls out.

Besides, why should you always get to be
the champion of the underdog? I know

you think I spent my high school years
on top of the world, but the fact is, I

frequently felt like an underdog. Okay,
I'm sorry, sweetie, but you were not an

underdog. You, my friend, were an
overdog.

An overdog? An overdog.

So the prank, it's a little complicated,
man.

Absolutely.

Your lotto man is jackpot. Please, take
this lottery ticket. That's $20 million.

Okay. Now, pay attention.

Tonight's winning numbers are...

34, 10,

28, 3, 49,

and 24.

Good luck.

This is a winning ticket.

Hold on to that ticket. That ticket is
yours.

You gave that ticket to my son. It's his
property. Now run.

Run. Buddy, relax.

The tape is from last Wednesday.

But we bought the ticket on Friday using
Wednesday's numbers.

I get it.

So the ticket's worthless.

So, Dad, you can sit down.

You see, this guy, Ted, he's a lottery
freak.

Yeah, man, he buys like 20 tickets a
week. It is his obsession.

So we put this ticket in his pile.

Then when it was time for the drawing,
we slipped that tape in the VTR.

So he thought he won.

And I guess when he found out he didn't,
he got a little upset. He sued you. He

probably just needs a couple of days to
cool off.

There's a little bit more to it than
that.

When Ted thought he'd become a
millionaire, he went nuts.

He quit his job, and he left his wife.

Now he's holding us responsible.

We did not mean to cause him pain.

Will you take the case? He's not taking
the case. Dad. What do you want me to

do? Sit here and fiddle while Rome
burns?

I'll take the case.

Excuse me, is my son around?

No, Mr. Stevens, I'm afraid he stepped
out. Is there something I can help you

with? Theater tickets, dinner
reservations, a very fun little Cajun

opened up. No, no thanks.

Okay, well, I'll be sure to let you drop
by.

You have a good day now.

Listen,

Phil. You changed your mind about the
Cajun. Terrific. They have popcorn

that are to die for.

No, we're concerned about our son.

One day he's in New York City, married,
on the fast track. The next day, he's

back here, renting shoes.

I mean, it's like something snapped.

I wasn't going to say anything, but...
Yeah?

I've been very worried myself, frankly.

I think he's lost it.

Do you have any idea what's behind this?
Well, there's the girl, of course.

What girl?

Hasn't he told you about Carol Vesey?
Who's Carol Vesey?

Oh, Mr.

Stevens.

Mr.

Turnford?

Yeah? I'm Ed Stevens, the attorney. We
spoke on the phone.

Uh -huh.

I'm here to ask you to give Tetchman his
job back.

I'm sorry, I can't do that.

Look, Mr. Turnford, the only reason the
guy quit was because he thought he won

the lottery.

So if you let him come back to work,
then, well, perhaps he'd drop his

against Frank and David. Those guys have
worked for you for a long time. You'd

really be helping them out of a jam.

Ted Schmidt didn't just quit.

He insulted me.

I'm sure he did. Now I can forgive that.

But what I cannot and will not forgive
is that he insulted this company and its

product.

Well, I'm sure he looked me right in the
face and he said, boxes, who needs

them?

Well, I doubt he did. And I will tell
you who needs boxes, Mr. Stevens.

We all do.

You would not want to live in a world
without boxes. You could not survive a

in such a world.

Oh, yeah, you think you could, but you
are wrong.

You must be the Stevens. I'm Carol
Vasney. Oh, hello, Carol.

Please call me Alan. Alan, hi. I'm
Natalie. It's so nice to meet you. Nice

meet you.

Thanks so much for having me to lunch.
Is Ed running late?

Oh, Ed won't be joining us.

Oh, did something come up?

Carol, dear, what we discuss at this
table has to stay between the three of

Okay?

Okay.

Well, Carol, I'll make this very simple.

Your relationship with our son is none
of our business. We don't care how or

you talked him into buying that dolly,
Natalie.

What? Please, dear, just listen to Alan.

What will it take to get you to
relinquish your hold on my son?

My hold?

Natalie, could I have the checkbook?

What?

$500 if you can talk my son into moving
back to New York.

Mr. Stevens!

$1 ,000?

Okay, you know what? It's time for
basketball practice, and I'm going to

going now. Thank you so much for having
me to lunch.

Can we get you something to go?

Anything?

I can see cars.

For tonight, we should get night vision
goggles, like Silence and the Lambs,

except we wouldn't be the killers.

I love Jodie Foster in that.

She's tough, yet feminine.

Clarice was the archetype for the modern
female hero.

Intelligence and non -threatening beauty
combined with moderate physical

strength and a strong but not
unbreakable moral code.

Did you make that up?

No, it was on TV Guide Channel.

It's a good channel.

I am Coach Bessie, and I am here to help
you turn your season around.

You're the new coach?

Yes. So try to contain that enthusiasm,
Jenny.

I'm just surprised that a former Miss
Teen USA would want to bother with us.

Oh, I was never Miss Teen USA.

Oh, I guess it's just a rumor.

Well, rumor aside...

I am here because you are a great group
of girls.

And you deserve to know what it feels
like to win a game or two.

So, everybody on your feet. Let's go.

Come on.

Everybody up.

We're going to start with a little
basket making.

Basket making?

Yeah.

Yeah, basket making.

Are the baskets always that high?

They stopped lowering them for us last
month.

Okay, so for now, we'll work on ball
throwing.

Everybody get into pairs, and each pair
takes a ball.

We've only got one ball.

One ball?

One ball's not a problem.

We are going to take turns bouncing this
ball, and whoever bounces the ball

highest wins a fruit roll -up.

So, I'm going to go first.

Okay.

I'm afraid I can't let you bowl with
that. It's too bouncy.

I need to know everything there is to
know about basketball, and I need to

it by tomorrow.

I'm going to give you guys the most
basic building block for basketball

strategy, the pick and roll.

It's been in 1894 by Herbert Pick,
Alfred Roll.

Really? Okay,

teach me. Teach me. Teach me. Okay,
let's start off. You gals guard Mike and

All right?

Ant, you guard Mike. Carol, you guard
me. All right, now. All right, now step

one, okay? Step one, Mike steps up and
sets what's called a pick.

There it is.

Step two, I drive to the basket, thereby
forcing Nancy to switch from guarding

Mike to guarding me. When this occurs,
step three, Mike rolls to the hoop. I

him with a sweet dish. Mike scores. We
go home. Hero! Yeah!

Okay, that's really sneaky.

I like it.

Now you try. Okay.

Let's go, buddy.

That's allowed. That's called the
basketball pat. It's allowed. I see. I

called you buddy.

All right, let's go. Pick and roll. Pick
and roll time.

Mr. Zelter, would you care to tell the
court what happened next?

He ran off before I could tell him the
truth.

Then he went home and told his wife he
was leaving her. Mr. Zelter, why did you

and Mr. Gursky play this silly prank on
Mr. Schmidt? You know, for laughs.

We're always playing jokes on each other
down there.

Last week, Jim Stackhouse put a live
ferret in Arnie Scapputo's locker.

That was hilarious.

And did you have any reasonable
expectation that Mr. Schmidt, upon

he won the lottery, was... Suddenly up
and quit? Leave his wife?

No, sir. In fact, when Mr. Schmidt began
unexpectedly telling his boss, Mr.

Dernford, that he might quit his job,
what did you do? That was me rushing in

saying, dude, dude, wait, dude.

Thank you.

You testified that you and Mr. Gursky
had no idea that my client, Mr. Schmidt,

would behave the way he did. Is that
right?

That's right.

Ever hear Mr. Schmidt complain about his
job?

Well, yeah, but we all bitch and moan
about it. In fact, when he sat down

week to watch those lotto drawings,
didn't he ever say something to the

of, if I win, I'm moving to some desert
island?

Or, hey, take a good look at me, boys.
When one of these tickets cashes in, I'm

leaving this rat hole.

Well, yeah, but that was just talk.
Really?

Turned out not to be just talk, didn't
it?

Hello, little Finn.

Goodbye.

I like that. I'm going to teach that to
the girls. That little spin in the pick

and roll won many a basketball game, my
friend.

Ed, you should have seen the girls
today. They were picking and they were

rolling and they were laughing.

I know this sounds really corny, but
it's like they were brand new people all

a sudden.

That's great. You're really doing some
good there.

Yeah.

I think that there's something I have to
tell you. Oh, Carol, I already know

about your attraction for me.

Let's quit torturing ourselves and let's
start doing it already.

It's about your parents.

What about my parents?

They had lunch with me.

They had lunch with you?

Actually, they wanted me to try to
convince you to go back to New York.

What? They offered me $1 ,000.

What? I just wanted you to know.

You know, I give up. I'm going to ask
them to leave. No, no, no.

Don't do that. Why shouldn't I? Why
shouldn't I? Why should I not do that? I

mean, they obviously think their son's a
loser. I saw them in court today.

They're looking at me like my life's
some kind of joke. You know, I mean,

liked me back in New York, right? The
wife and the big job at a prestigious

York City law firm handling million
-dollar clients. And now, now they, they

just don't get it.

Do you think your life was better back
then?

Well, I don't know. Maybe, maybe it was
on paper, but... What?

Back then, I never got to play
basketball on a weekday afternoon.

Great shot.

Buddy.

I don't know how they got it again.

They're only gone a little while. Once
again, we are sucky ball.

I think the thieves are masters of
deception.

Not unlike illusionist David
Copperfield.

Once I saw him turn a fat guy into a
pony.

He's a real showman.

There you go.

Thanks, boss.

There he is.

Hey, hey, you guys, can I talk to you
two for a minute?

Sure. Okay.

So far, I've been very patient with the
two of you, but this time you have gone

too far.

Honey, you seem upset.

Seem upset? Seem upset? Ma, are you
kidding me?

Why, don't speak to your mother that
way. Sorry.

Look,

right, are you going to tell me about
your little lunch with Carol Bessie?

We didn't have lunch with Carol Bessie.
Alan.

Natalie, you make it bluffing. Dad.

You offered her $1 ,000 to convince me
to move back to New York City. Do you

have any idea how humiliating that is?

Ed, now listen to me. When we came here,
we were worried about you.

We're parents. We're allowed.

So we poked around a little. I'm sorry.

The truth is, we learned something.

We learned that you're happy here.

I watched you in court today, and I saw
a certain look in your eye I never saw

when you worked with that Wall Street
firm. What your father's trying to say,

dear, is now we know that you're in the
right place. You're where you should be.

Really? Really.

So, we're headed back to Florida.

When? We're leaving for the airport now.

Now? Why so soon? Our work here is done.

Goodbye, son. Bye, darling. Bye, Mom.

In honor of your complete mastery of the
pick and roll, I have good news and I

have great news.

First, the good news.

My cousin works at Shirt Palace over at
the mall.

Cut me a deal on these new uniforms.

Names on the back, numbers, the works.

Oh, my gosh.

They're awesome.

What's the great news?

I challenged the varsity girls team to a
scrimmage.

What?

It's going to be great.

You guys had a chance to play in a real
game at night with a scoreboard and a

gym full of fans. Miss Fessy, I think
you're glossing over a basic fact here,

which is that the varsity girls, they're
going to kick our... Do you mind if I

say asses?

No, sure. Sure, go ahead.

Asses?

Where's your pride?

Do you know what their coach said to me?

He said we probably wouldn't even hit
double digits.

We probably won't hit double digits.

Listen, we're going to play this game
because it's not about the game.

It's about not getting pushed around
anymore.

It's about not being treated like losers
because you're not losers.

It's about going out there and showing
the world that you are not losers on the

court and off.

And win or lose.

Friday night. That is just what we're
going to do.

Did you just make that up? Yes.

Yes, I did.

It was pretty good.

Mr. Schmidt, you testified that this
prank ruined your life?

Yes, it did.

I was happy. I had a solid job. Wife.

Now I have nothing.

Help me with something. Your attorney,
Mr. Murphy, he keeps claiming that my

client should have reasonably expected
that winning the lottery caused you to

quit your job, leave your wife. You're
always grumbling about how miserable

life was. I'm confused.

Which wasn't, Mr. Schmidt? Were you
happy with your life, or were you

You don't have to look to your attorney.
Let me help you, Your Honor. I would

like to submit in evidence Mr. Schmidt's
last five employee performance reports.

The last one states, in part,

Ted is habitually late and calls him
sick more than any other employee in the

department. His attitude is terrible,
and as a result, his overall job

performance leaves much to be desired.

That doesn't sound like a happy guy who
loves his job.

Hey, it was just a job.

Yes, Mr. Schmidt.

It's just a job.

Mr. Schmidt's financial records for the
past several years, Your Honor, in which

I noticed that you've written several
checks to Dr.

Rachel Garner over the last year and a
half. What kind of doctor is she?

She's a psychologist.

Specializing in?

Marriage counseling.

So, the happy marriage was... Hey, we're
working on it. You're working on it,

except I have here your personal
American Express bill, which shows

charges to the stadium motor lodge,
which happens to be less than five miles

from your house.

Ted, were you going there with your
wife?

Objection.

Overruled.

Answer the question, Mr. Schmidt.

No, I was seeing someone.

I'm very sorry. Your perfect life was
ruined, Mr. Schmidt.

Objection. Withdrawn.

Ah, Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing
here? Was the play canceled?

Come inside, Ed.

Everything okay?

Follow me to the living room.

Hello? Hi, Ed. Sit down. Make yourself
comfortable.

Uncle George, right?

It's been a while, huh?

You know, you look more and more like a
pop.

Thanks, I guess.

Would you like some coffee or menthol
cigarette?

No, thanks.

Phil, what are you doing here?

Excuse me, sir, do I know you? Oh, this
is Godfrey.

He's my sponsor.

No, thanks.

Someone like to tell me what's going on?

Ed.

Life is like a footpath through a dark
African jungle.

As long as you stick to the path, you're
okay.

But it's very tempting to wander astray.

Look over there.

A colorful bird.

Over there.

A fragrant plant life.

When I was your age, I walked off my
path.

You name it, I did it.

Booze, whores, gambling.

Smank.

I live to tell a story, thanks to
friends and family, like we have here.

We love you, Ed.

What the hell is this?

An intervention.

If we have to chase these kids, don't
worry.

I'm a big man, but I'm also quick.

I once caught a live chicken with my
bare hands, like Rocky Balboa.

I've got a question.

Yeah?

If you took a hamburger and put it in a
blender and blended it up so it became

like a hamburger sauce, and then you
took that hamburger sauce and put it

another hamburger, would that hamburger
then have doubled the hamburger flavor

of a regular hamburger?

No.

It would be just like eating two
hamburgers.

But it's not two hamburgers.

It's one hamburger with hamburger sauce
on top.

You should send that in to Reader's
Digest.

You might be fooling the rest of them,
but you're not fooling me.

People like us, we're the best liars in
the world because we get so much

practice lying to ourselves.

You're having a nervous breakdown.

If you're going to ride, don't ride the
white horse. All right, enough.

Enough. What is with you people? Just
leave me alone.

There's nothing wrong with me.

Dad?

Oh, look, I'd like to have a private
talk with my son, would you? Would you

going into the kitchen and have some
cold cuts?

Look, Ed, I'm sorry.

Maybe I took things a little too far.
Yeah, I would say so. Sometimes I go

overboard when I'm trying to make a
point. Well, if your point is you're

disappointed and you're unhappy with the
way I'm living my life, trust me, your

point's been made. I just didn't want to
see you make the same mistake that I

made. Dad, when you were about five
years old, I was a junior manager at the

drapery plant, and one day I got a
call... I know the story, Dad. I know

story. They said that they wanted to
make you a vice president, move you down

Dallas, and Mom hated it there, so you
turned them down and stayed in

Stuckyville. No, no, no, no, no. That's
not quite true, Ed.

Your mother was fine about Dallas.

I turned it down because I was afraid.

Afraid to go down there and get the crap
kicked out of me and come calling back

to Stuckyville.

The best opportunity of my career, and I
let it go.

Now, I look at you, and I see a guy
who'd been thrown off a horse, and is

scared to get back up.

But if you don't, you'll never know what
you could have achieved.

What if I decided to play a prank and
stole the stop sign from the

of Main and Maple?

Whoops, somebody gets killed.

Sorry, just a prank.

would i be held responsible of course i
would in our society people are

responsible for their actions your honor
this prank ruined this man's life

i ask that you hold these men
responsible for their actions

thank you your honor two important
points

one yes stealing stop signs can make one
reasonably expect that there will be a

crash but my clients can never
reasonably expect Ted Schmidt would

life so dramatically, which leads me to
point two.

Let me tell you a little bit about
myself.

I sympathize with Ted Schmidt.

I really do. I used to be a lot like
him. I was just cruising through life.

I had a wife, had a job in a prestigious
New York City law firm, and then one

day I was fired.

I came home and I found my wife sleeping
with a mailman.

That was no prank.

But let me tell you something. For some
people, no matter how it comes about,

having their life changed.

may be the best thing that ever happens
to them.

Ted Schmidt is seeking damages.

Well, there are no damages.

Because Ted Schmidt is much better off
now than he ever was before.

He hated his job.

His marriage was in shambles. And these
are the reasons that he decided to

change his life.

The lottery ticket, the lottery ticket
just gave him the courage to do so.

Thank you.

Everybody's going to the basketball game
tonight.

The kids who steal the tea will probably
be there too.

If the kids are at the game, then we
could go to the game without putting the

tea in jeopardy.

You can fasten it down extra tight just
in case.

Let's get the tools.

I feel like this experience has brought
us closer together.

I disagree.

Supposing I accept Mr. Stevens' claim
that...

Ted Schmidt is better off now than he
was before.

Can I then conclude that there are no
damages?

No. However, damages or no damages, I'm
convinced that the

defendants could not have reasonably
expected Mr. Schmidt's reaction to their

prank.

I therefore find for the defendants
Frank Seltzer and Dave Gursky.

Thanks, Dad. You're welcome, Frank.

Congratulations, honey.

Thank you.

That was pretty good.

Thanks, Dad.

Looks like your girls forgot to show up.

Oh, they're coming.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands
together for the women's game.

This baby's not going anywhere now.

Where'd you learn how to do that?

In the joint.

Come on, the game's already started. Go.

What are you doing calling a time out
with six seconds left? We are ahead by

points. What's the point?

The point is we have the ball. There are
six seconds left on the clock, and we

are going to score double digits.
There's not a damn thing you can do

Oh, is that right?

Well, we'll see about that.

Starters in.

We're not going to let them score.

Come on, girls.

Come on in. Come on in for the huddle.
Come on, girls. Huddle around.

Come on in. Okay.

This is what we're going to do.

All right.

Kate, Diane, Cara, with the three of you
to clear off to one side. That's going

to leave Jenny and Susan.

You know what to do.

Pick and roll.

Right.

Wouldn't this be a good time for another
one of those speeches?

I believe in you guys.

That's it?

Win one for the Gipper.

That's good.

Okay. All right.

That was the greatest 58 -point loss in
the history of sport.

Look at him.

That's right. That's right, Kenny.

There he is. Hey, Dad, you got a minute?

Sure.

I'll go inside.

Come on.

That was quite a job on the microphone.

I didn't know you had such a powerful
voice. Thanks.

Look, Dad, I want to say thank you for
coming down here to help me.

Well, I'm not sure we succeeded.

Dad, remember how you said you were
afraid of taking the risk of going down

Dallas?

Yeah.

Well, for me, taking the risk was coming
back down here and doing all of this.

Staying in New York with a big job, that
would have been the safe road.

But couldn't you at least build a
separate entrance for the law practice

not literally right inside a bowling
alley?

Not that.

I really can't.

But hey, it's on the bright side.

You know, for the rest of your life,
you're going to get the ball for free.

Well, that's something. That's
something.

Choose you'll have to pay for it.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.