All language subtitles for ed_s01e03_just_friends

Why don't sharks eat lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

Because,

you see, both sharks and lawyers are
vicious predators.

So, help me, Carol.

Um, does anyone have any questions for
Mr. Stevens?

Warren.

Yeah, just wondering, when you invite a
client over to your office for the first

time and they see that it's like in a
bowling alley or whatever,

are they ever like, thanks, but I think
I'm going to find a lawyer whose

office is not in a bowling alley?

It happens.

Sometimes. Okay, that's all I got,
class.

So, for the rest of the hour, please put
your heads down and nap.

They're not napping.

Okay, classes met. Thank you very much.

Have a good time in math.

Go, Tori Adarcy. Oh, my God.

It's like facing a firing squad. How do
you do that every day?

Actually, you were amazing, Ed. As a
matter of fact, you just may be our

best career day speaker ever.

Second best? Well, yeah, a couple years
ago, we did have Jack Barry.

Host of The Joker's Wild? Yep.

Did he bring the giant lever?

Yep. That's pretty good.

Ed, um... I can't tell you how much I
appreciate you doing this for me. No,

no. Stop right there.

We're friends now. That's what friends
do. That's what friends are for.

Right.

So would you dump Nick yet? Ed. I'm just
saying, we're friends, right? That's

what friends do. It's just one friend
asking another friend a friendly,

question. Please stop saying the word
friend.

Okay.

Homie.

the sky tonight there I can keep by your

side watching the

Ten bucks if you drink the rest of the
syrup in that bottle.

Come on. Ten bucks, Ed.

When the gauntlet is dropped, you must
accept the challenge.

There he goes.

Eddie, what are you doing?

I was drinking syrup.

Oh, thanks, Mike. I thought he was
washing the car. Uh, Nance, what's the

matter? You really don't know?

Well, I was up with Sarah for the eighth
night in a row.

You look great, honey.

Nice try.

Mike, I know what you're doing. What?
You're pretending to be asleep.

Oh, that's crazy. I'm just a sound
sleeper, that's all.

Mike, you would have to be in a coma to
sleep through all that crying.

Then I must have been in a coma, honey.
I was in a coma, and I came out of it. I

recovered. It's a miracle.

Honey, you got ten bucks on you?

Mm -hmm.

Yes, Carol, it's time for yet another
glorious day at that most hallowed of

American educational institutes,
Duckyville Heights.

And what are you planning on teaching
this week?

My kids asked me to read some Kerouac. I
don't want to spend too much time on

it, but they're digging it, so.

You know, when I was in your sophomore
English class, you read us Catcher in

Rye. It was amazing.

Yeah, well, lots of time. When I look in
the mirror, I see Holden Caulfield

staring back at me.

Nick, how do you get away with saying
things like that?

Like what?

Morning, Richie.

A little cool for shorts, isn't it?

Not for me. I'm Norwegian.

Nice going. Thanks.

I got a certified letter here from Mr.
Edward J. Stevens.

Yeah, he's in the kitchen. Come on back
and have a waffle.

Here's your man, sir.

Hey. Hey, Edward J. Stevens?

Yeah. Sign here, please.

Yeah, tell him to answer the J stand for
it.

Jeremy.

What's wrong with Jeremy? It means
exalted.

Where did you get, oh, exalted one?

Hey, what's the matter?

This is to notify you that your wife,
Elizabeth Stevens, has initiated divorce

proceedings.

Ed's wife slept with a mailman.

Wish mine would.

It's not like I'm surprised she's filing
for divorce. I knew you'd make it

official sooner or later. I just thought
that we'd talk about it first.

I thought I'd get this letter from her
lawyer.

Ed, what's done is done. Just sign it,
send it off, and put the past behind

It says here they intend to settle
everything amicably.

That's good, right?

Well, Liz and I haven't been amicable
for about oh -two years.

Now that we're getting divorced,
suddenly she wants to be pals?

Ironic.

Thanks. That's what I was going for.

Good morning, Team Stuckyball.

Greetings, your Ed ship.

How's it going, Chief?

I can't think of something to call you.

That's not a problem, Shirley.

Okay, look, here's the deal.

The law practice is starting to eat up a
lot of my time, so I'm going to need a

little help running things around here.

So, I would like to promote one of you
to manager.

Great, I'll do it.

Kneel before your new master. You kneel
down.

Slow down, Phil, okay? You're each going
to have an equal opportunity to

interview for the job. Yeah, right.

Hey, listen, Ed, could I get an advance
on my raise?

Got a waterbed on layaway.

Thanks, bro.

Ed Stevens?

Yeah.

Lou Brown.

Stuckyville High.

Oh, yeah. Hey, Lou. How's it going?

Oh, yeah. I remember you guys. Ernie,
right? And Bob.

Big Bob Arnovitz. Yeah, we used to have
a metal shop together.

Oh, actually, it was Woodshop. Does it
really matter, Bob?

Woodshop, metal shop, they're both
shops.

Sorry, man.

That's okay.

What can I do for you guys? Hey, bowl a
free game on the house. Actually, Ed,

the reason we're here, me and my buddies
are in need of legal representation.

And some of them bowling alley nachos.
Can do. Shirley, some nachos for the

gentlemen.

Nachos.

So what's the problem?

All right.

This goes back 15 years ago to the
summer after high school.

Me, Ernie, Bob, we were working nights
as busboys down at the Smiling Goat.

boy Mr. Stanton hangs out in. You
remember him? He teaches English.

Yes, I remember Mr. Stanton.

He was pretty cool for a teacher.

He let me sit on his motorcycle once.

I felt like the Fonzie. How many times
do we have to go through this? It's

either the Fonz or Fonzie. It is never
the Fonzie. Hey, guys.

So, the three of you are working as
busboys?

Yeah. Us and this other kid, Arthur.

Daily. We used to call ourselves the
Four Musketeers. Sort of a play on the

Three Musketeers.

Got it? I don't remember, Arthur. He was
real quiet. And real smart.

Like a young Alex Trebek.

So, anyway, one night, the four of us
finished mopping up.

We're sitting around having some beers,
talking about the mysteries of life.

You never know what the fates hold in
store for you. And you could end up a

janitor, a rock star.

Or a guy who trains dogs.

For the movies.

Oh, my God.

So, Arthur gets this great idea.

He says, how about this?

Fifteen years from now.

No matter where we live or what we're
doing, we all get together.

However much money each one of us has,
we put half of it in a pot, and then we

split it all evenly amongst the four of
us. See, that way, if one of the four

musketeers hits it big, the other three
get a piece.

You follow?

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Sort of like
beginning life as a team.

Yeah, exactly.

So, Arthur, he writes up a contract, and
all four of us sign.

This is a bar napkin. Yeah, well, the
bartender was all in a apartment.

Okay. And now it's 15 years later. It's
time to get together and divide up all

our money, and Arthur's acting like the
whole thing never happened.

That's why we came to you.

So, Mal, how do you feel about sneaking
out after third period to go to the pie

shop?

What's the occasion?

Is it my birthday?

Uh, no. Actually, I'm having lunch with
Ed Stevens, and, um, I thought maybe

you'd like to come along.

Uh, I thought, uh, you and Ed Stevens
were buddies now.

We are. So what do you need a chaperone
for?

We don't. I would just prefer it if you,
um... Ladies.

Hey, can I bum a smoke?

These damn kids are driving me nuts
today.

I'm telling you.

Well,

it's pretty smudgy, but it appears to be
a contract. So I guess my first

question would be, how did things turn
out for the four of you?

Well, me, I'm broke, pumping gas, taking
night classes, trying to make something

myself.

I'm a roofer.

I got about 2 ,000 in the bank.

I blew my whole life savings trying to
start a broasted chicken restaurant.

Yeah, and what this jackass knows about
broasting chickens, you could fit into a

thimble. That was uncalled for.

And Arthur?

There he is.

This company's worth 100 million bucks.

Warren, what are you doing?

Same as you.

Just getting a break from the blackboard
jungle for a couple minutes.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that hits the spot.

Hey, could you top this off for me,
tough guy?

Warren. Oh, no, no, it's okay. He's just
a librarian.

Warren, beat it. The teacher's lounge is
for teachers only.

Yes, yes, it is. It is indeed, Miss
Fessy. And as of today, I, too, am a

teacher.

This is going to be good.

Yeah, I signed up for the student
tutoring program.

I'll be helping some of the less gifted
children with Oliver Twist.

Gee, Warren, I'm teaching Oliver Twist.

What a coincidence.

It's so weird. It's so weird how things
work out.

Well, hey, perhaps we can get together
later and discuss things Dickensian.

Hmm, Warren.

Yeah. That ain't going to happen.

You know, your friend here is a tough
nut to crack.

And I am one hungry squirrel.

Here we are, just three friends enjoying
three soup and half a salad combos.

Yes, we are friends. Friend, friend.

Combo. Combo, combo.

I'll tell you, the Algonquin round table
has nothing on us. Carol, I'm wondering

if you can give me a time frame on this
whole friends thing.

What? I'm wondering, like, when can we
stop being friends and start being...

know, um...

Booyah, exactly.

Booyah.

Well, March 11th? Does that sound good?
Yes.

Great. Let me just check that date out.

Let's see.

March 11th.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, 8 p .m., dinner with boyfriend of
seven years. Now, who could that be?

make out that name. Could it be? Oh, it
is. It is. It's Nick.

Sorry, Ed.

Ouch.

I've been hoisted by my own petard.

Yes, but what a lovely petard it is.
Molly. What?

The guy's got a nice petard.

Thank you, Molly.

Suddenly, I feel a need to pretend I
have to go to the bathroom.

Maltz.

You know, I am not a very good
chaperone.

You know what?

I don't want to be friends with Carol
Bessie.

I'm tired of hiding it.

That was hiding it? See, once you become
friends with a woman, you're stuck that

way forever. No.

No, I've got to make my move before it's
too late.

Time for more wacky -ass romantic crap.
Okay.

Exactly.

Hi.

I'd like to star in my own video,
please.

You going to talk dirty?

Nope. You going to keep your pants on?
Yep.

Rock and roll.

I'm ready for my interview.

Oh, yeah, sure, Kenny. Have a seat.

Oh, resume, Kenny. Very impressive.

You went to Tufts University?

It's in Massachusetts. I know.

You graduated with a 3 .7 GPA?

Then you attended nursing school? Kenny,
you're a nurse?

Pediatric nurse.

Why do you work in a bowling alley?

Life is a journey.

Okay, thanks for your time, Gigantor.
We'll be in touch. You got visitors, Ed.

All right, guys. Now, I don't know if I
can talk a judge into a $50 million

ruling based on a bar napkin. However, I
do think you have grounds for suit.

Really? Well, that's great.

But I have to ask.

Are you sure you want to do this to your
friend? Some friend. You know, we were

there for him every step of the way. And
now it's like we don't exist.

How did Arthur respond when you brought
up the contract?

We never even spoke to him. It was just
his big shot New York lawyers.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

What?

Arthur's represented by Farmer and
Sheehan.

Are they good?

Yeah, they're good.

They also happened to be the firm that
fired me.

Hey. Hey, Molly. Hi.

Why the solitary pacing?

I'm going up against my old law firm.

Well, then I pity your old law firm.

Thanks.

Thanks. Did I ever tell you why I got
fired?

Your tie didn't match your suspenders?

I left one comma out of a 500 -page
contract.

You got fired over a comma?

That comma cost the firm $1 .6 million.

Must have been some comma.

Yeah. I'd love to win back some dignity
in Raleigh. I would really love to beat

these guys.

Well, what can we do to help?

I don't know. They're very good.

And they work in packs like hyenas.

And I'll be outnumbered four to one.

What?

Not necessarily.

Computer boy.

My God, this ain't Richard Davis.

Stevens.

Good to see you. Hi, Richard.

George. Calvin.

Giselle. My partner, Molly Hudson.

Well, this is a wonderful coincidence,
isn't it?

Yep. Kismet. So what's this I keep
hearing about a bowling alley? That's a

right? Not at all. I have a very nice
setup over there.

The bowling alley was the only space
available to house all of Mr. Stevens'

associates.

That's right. That's right.

In fact, here come a few of them now.

Meet Philip, Kenneth, and Charlize.

We're lawyers.

You look familiar.

Stanford Law?

No, Phil Stubbs. No, I meant had you
attended... Yeah, I know what you meant,

hot stuff. I was just acting stupid so
you'd underestimate my legal prowess.

Ah. That's right.

Well, listen, Stevens, if you're ever
back in New York, you should come by and

visit us sometime.

Did I say comma?

I'm sorry.

It's probably not your favorite word.

Have you been bleaching your temples?

All rise.

Mr. Winthrop, how can I help you? I ate
a bad hot dog.

Got yourself a case of food poisoning,
huh? No.

You said you ate a bad hot dog. Well,
bad in the sense that I didn't care for

it. The bun was stale.

Why are you here, Mr. Winthrop?

You're the company.

Dr. Burton, your wife is on the line.

Hi, man.

Mike, I just fell asleep at my desk. I
cannot go on living like this.

Well, I'm sympathetic, honey. You've got
to understand something. I'm a doctor.

If I fall asleep at work, I put lives at
risk.

Okay. Mike, from now on, we alternate
nights. That's the only fair way to do

this, and you've got to help me out
here.

Yeah, okay, honey.

I'll take tonight.

Okay. Good.

All right. I love you.

I love you, too. All right.

Bye. Bye.

As long as you're here, you want a
throat culture?

Sure. Your Honor,

we've traveled all the way from New York
City because of an old bar napkin.

My client, Mr. Daly, is a very busy man,
and I hope you won't allow these people

to waste any more of his time.

This is a nuisance suit, and we ask that
it be dismissed at once.

Mr. Stevens?

Judge Henderson?

This is an ordinary bar napkin.

This is a legitimate contract written in
clear, straightforward language by none

other than Arthur Daly himself. As such,
it deserves a fair hearing in court.

And what's more, Your Honor, you have my
word that as long as I practice law in

this town, I'll never sully your docket
with a nuisance suit.

Thank you, Mr. Stevens.

I enjoyed hearing you use the word
sully. Thank you.

Now, Mr. Davis, the last thing I want to
do is to waste your client's precious

time.

That's why I'm going to set an immediate
trial date.

Thank you, gentlemen.

So what do you guys think? Think I'm on
the right side of this thing or what?

I have no idea. I mean, $50 million all
because of some goofy late -night bowl

session when they were 18?

I think he's trying to take advantage of
them. No, I disagree, Nance. I mean,

the whole point of the contract was that
if one of them got rich, they all get

rich. The guy should be true to his
word.

Nance is wrong.

Molly's right. A deal's a deal.

Case closed.

End of conversation.

So if you were a rich guy, you'd fork
over half your money? Not a chance in

hell, Ed. You're totally contradicting
yourself.

As Walt Whitman once wrote, do I
contradict myself?

Very well, then. I contradict myself. I
am large.

I contain multitudes.

He's your best friend.

You married him.

Kenny, what you doing?

Pouring you a frosty cup of my delicious
homemade root beer.

That man is a pediatric nurse.

And now, class?

The pivotal scene in which young Oliver
Twist asks his evil master for more

food.

Please, sir, I want some more. Some more
what?

Some more... Some more what? Some more
gruel. No, you may not have no more

gruel. Would you hurry it up? If I go
any faster, I'm going to lose Charmy.

Miss Fessy. Warren.

So how's Oliver Twist going?

Oh, it's tough.

In fact, you could say it's grueling.

Yes, you could. Well, good luck,
everybody, on your test.

Oh, wait, hold on. Miss Bessie, um, that
boring lawyer guy was here and dropped

his tape off for you.

Oh, no.

Thank you, Warren.

All right.

Check you later, then.

Her and me, we got a thing going on.

meant to be The kind of love to last

forever You know

everywhere I go All in all my mind,

in my heart, in my soul

Go back to sleep. It's your night off.

What? I took care of it for you.

Go back to sleep.

We're dinky doggies.

I can't believe you've been kidding me.

The pediatric nurse.

Mike,

that is not the point.

I'd be glad to have him do your nights
too. No, Mike, it's been a... Not that

we're both at work all day and she's
stuck here with the nanny. She cries in

middle of the night whenever our actual
parents let her show up.

You're right. Yeah, I am right.

You're sleeping in Sarah's room tonight.

What are you doing?

Being a pancake mouse.

You can't stay mad at a pancake mouse.

Good morning, Miss Bessie. Hello, Ed.

Did you see anything good on TV last
night?

Oh, yes, actually. The E! Channel had a
lovely documentary on Lou Gossett Jr.

What did you think of my video?

Well, the first time I saw it, I was
shocked. And the second time, I was

horrified. It was that third time,
though. That's the one that scarred me

life.

You watched it three times, huh?

Ed, Ed, you have got to stop doing this.
Was it the inflatable guitar? Yeah, I

knew it. The inflatable guitar was too
much. You never see Keith Richards with

an inflatable guitar. Ed? Yeah.

I want to be your friend so badly.
Really, I do. But you're making it very,

difficult. Well, that's too bad. I'm
trying to make it impossible.

You are impossible.

Nice one.

Cal, what's bothering you is not the
fact that I won't leave you alone.

So you know I'm right.

You and I are meant to be more than just
friends. No, don't. You're the reason I

came back to Stucky. It was because of
you that I bought the bowling alley.

Oops.

I said it.

I wish you hadn't.

Shirley.

It's time for my interview, but I could
come back later when you're not

depressed about that blonde lady. We
don't have to do this at all.

Shirley, please come in.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Well done.

Okay, then.

So, interview.

Let's see. Well, I know that sounds like
a cliche, but where do you see yourself

in five years?

Here.

Okay.

Good.

Then, next question.

Where were you employed before
Stuckyball?

Telemarketing.

I sold ladies' shoes.

I found that most ladies were unwilling
to buy their shoes over the phone.

All I sold was one of clogs.

One pair of clogs.

Shirley, do you even want this
promotion?

No. Okay, then.

Please state your name.

Arthur Daly.

Mr. Daly, is this your signature?

Yes, that's my signature.

I signed a bar napkin. Take me away,
officer.

Well, if you sign this contract, why
won't you honor its terms? Contract?

What contract?

Do you see a contract?

I don't see a contract. I see a napkin.

Mr. Daly.

Suppose you came home one day and you
opened your mail and you found a bomb

threat.

What would you do? Would you call the
police?

Objection. Relevance?

Overruled. Answer the question, please.

Yes, I would call the police.

And what if the bomb threat were written
on a bar napkin?

Would you then say to yourself, oh,
thank goodness, it's not a bomb threat,

just a bar napkin? No, but that's not a
bomb. Thank you, Mr. Daly.

Mr. Brown, suppose two friends are
playing basketball.

And one says to the other, I'll give you
a million dollars if you make your next

shot.

Have you ever said anything like that?

Yeah, of course.

And when your friend made the shot, did
you give him the million dollars?

No.

Why not?

A deal is a deal.

Because when you say that, you don't
really mean it. That's right.

A contract isn't a contract when
everyone knows that you don't mean it.

but we meant it.

isn't a contract when it's said in jest.
A contract isn't a contract when it's

written as a joke by an 18 -year -old
who never dreamed that one day it would

enforced. Objection.

Yes, Mr. Stevens.

A lawyer isn't a lawyer if he keeps
giving speeches instead of asking

Or if he works in a bowling alley.

Mr. Davis.

My apologies, Your Honor.

Nothing further.

Hey, what you got there? Some kind of
legal crap?

Actually, it's kind of personal.

Personal? Good.

Spill your guts to Dr.

Stubbs.

My wife's filing for divorce.

That's it?

When you said personal, I figured you
were getting a sex change or something.

Sorry I didn't disappoint you.

Hey, come join me in your office.

Why? It's interview time, baby.

Okay, Phil.

I'm all yours. Just tell me why you
should be the new manager of Stucky

Good question, my man, but don't ask me.
Ask the people who count.

The customers.

Cue lights!

Cue sound!

And... I'm not the world's greatest
bowler, but when I broke 200 for the

first time... Phil Stubbs makes me a
take.

I felt like a champion.

Phil Stubbs has a special name for every
single ball in the alley.

This one is God -free.

Phil Stubbs said that if I dropped out
of the running, he'd regret my tub.

Phil Stubbs is your new...

Thank you, everybody.

Congratulations, Phil. You are the new
manager of Stucky Bowl.

You know what I'm saying? The kind of
guy who just assumed beat you with a

to shake your hand.

But it was my favorite hat. Damn it, I
wanted it back. So I looked him right in

the eye and I said, I don't know what
I'm going to tell my mother when she

out that I let a biker steal her hat.

And the guy's eyes widen and he rips the
thing off his head and he says, this is

a lady's hat. I ain't wearing no lady's
hat.

So he gave it back.

That answer your question? That was
great.

I see.

Sorry, baby. Got to keep my people
happy.

Oh, please. You know I love your
stories.

Hey, isn't that your little buddy?

Hey, Nick.

Carol. Hi.

Well, if it isn't the Lord of the Land.

It's your first time at the goat?

First time with a real ID, anyway.

Duncan, how's about a pint for young
Edward here?

So, what brings you to this temple of
drowned sorrows?

I was looking for you guys, actually.

Of course, right, because, um, Ed lent
me an emery board, and I am going to

return it right now, so there's the
emery board.

Ed, please take the emery board.

Relax, Carol. Let the man sit down and
quaff his ale.

Yes. Yes, Carol.

Let me quaff my ale.

Take it, Ed.

How about a toast?

To friendship?

To friendship.

A mailman?

That's just unbelievable.

Well, Nick, what can I tell you?

Neither rain nor sleet nor gloom of
night could stop him from having sex

wife.

I'll tell you, if I were you, I'd just
put the whole damn thing behind me. Get

out there and find yourself a fine new
woman.

Well, Nick, you know, as it turns out, I
already have.

Then what's the problem?

She's in love with a pompous jackass.

Oh, man, I've been there. I feel for
you.

You know what she needs?

No. You need some action.

I do.

Let me see what I can scare up for you.

Thanks, Nick.

Ed.

What are you doing? I would say it's a
passive -aggressive attempt to make you

feel bad for rejecting me in favor of
Nick Stanton, but don't worry.

About five or ten minutes, I'll have it
out of my system.

Ed, meet Marie.

Marie, Ed. Hi, Ed.

Howdy. How are you?

Good. She works at the roller rink. You
guys can exchange trade secrets.

Well, what are you drinking there,
Marie?

A fucking maple.

Duncan, how about a... Turns out I'm not
capable of yelling at people in public.

Duncan, shot of Jack for the lady. Shot
of Jack. Shot of Jack coming up. So,

Marie, what brings you to the...

Temple of Drowned Sorrows. You don't
mind if I use that, do you?

Excuse me. Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's it?

Damn,

I better go.

You kids, have fun.

Thanks.

It's okay, Sarah.

It's all right.

I don't know what I was thinking, Nance.

Cal and I were getting so close, now she
hates my guts.

I'm an idiot.

Well, well, well, look who's here,
looking all bright and cheery.

It's my little pancake mouse.

Aren't you the cutest little thing? Now
you get the point, honey. Can I eat my

breakfast?

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, I
want each of you to put yourself in Mr.

Daly's position.

Imagine having spent 15 years working 16
hours a day to build a company from

scratch.

And then along comes three guys, three
guys who have made nothing of

and they try and take what's yours
because of a joke.

Hey.

I know that Arthur Daly isn't the most
sympathetic guy in the room.

He's made more money than most of us
will ever see in our lives.

But the laws that protect him and his
money are the same

laws that protect you and yours.

Thank you.

Mr. Stevens, your closing statement,
please.

Mr. Davis would like you to believe that
this contract is a joke.

Well, it's not a joke. Here's a joke.

Why don't sharks eat lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

Look, I have one point to make, and it's
this.

You cannot laugh away a commitment.

When these four friends signed this
contract, they joined their lives

Now, maybe they shouldn't have done it,
you know.

Maybe they're being rash.

Maybe they're being silly.

But couldn't you say the same thing
about a lot of marriages?

The fact is this.

They made a deal. Four friends made a
deal.

So now it's up to the eight of you to
decide what's fair.

Is it fair for my clients to walk away
with $50 million?

That's your call.

But is it fair for Arthur Daly to simply
laugh this whole thing away? Absolutely

not.

Absolutely not.

I know it. You know it.

And something tells me Arthur Daly knows
it, too.

Thank you.

You were great today, Ed. Yeah, me too.
Thanks, Lou. You're like MacGyver,

except you don't live on a houseboat.

Hey, what are they doing here?

How can I help you, gentlemen?

My client wishes to discuss a
settlement.

No, we're not here to negotiate terms.

Arthur, I said I can't handle this.

In fact, why don't you wait outside?

I was hoping the four of us could sit
down and talk this through.

Oh, thanks.

But we're pretty happy with the way
things are going in court, Artie.

Look, you're not going to win this
thing.

No matter what the jury decides, my
lawyers are going to keep this thing

in the courts for the next thousand
years. It's what they do best.

What do you want, Arthur?

The four of us... We were friends.

Yeah.

Friends.

I know. I turned my back on you guys.

It was wrong.

I apologize.

But $50 million, is that right?

Look, here's what I'm thinking.

I want you guys to come and work at the
company.

There'll be a lot of great opportunities
there.

Well, if you change your minds, you can
give me a call.

What are bowling balls made of?

Thank you.

Carol. Hey.

Hey, you're the last person I expected
to see already.

Yeah.

I need you to make a decision, and I
need you to make it right now.

Are you?

Or are you not capable of being my
friend?

Just yes or no.

Have you ever been alone?

What?

Cal, you're smart, funny, beautiful.

You're everything a guy could ask for in
a girl. So I'm wondering, have you ever

been alone?

I... There was two weeks in the
beginning of ninth grade.

I was alone.

Divorce papers from Liz.

Ow. Yeah.

Sorry.

It's okay. When I sign these things,
I'll be alone.

No Liz, no Carol. Just Ed.

Maybe I'm having a bit of a hard time
getting used to that idea.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

But you know, you don't have to be
alone.

Why not?

Because you have Marie.

Marie?

The fuzzy navel girl.

Oh.

No, no, no.

Nothing happened.

Oh, really? No, she wasn't like that.

Uh -huh. And why is that?

Because she was too... She was full of
schnapps, basically.

She was too full of schnapps. I see.

Besides, what do you care? I don't care.

I think you do care. Oh, no, no, no, I
don't care. I think you care. I think

that you should shut up and sign your
divorce papers, is what I think.

Yeah.

It's a friendship.

It's a friendship.