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- [Sally] My turn, I wanna look one up.
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- [Marilyn] What are you looking up?
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- [Sally] Voy, voyeur.
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- [Marilyn] Oh, B-O-Y-Y.
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- [Sally] Here it is.
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- [Marilyn] Well read it.
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- [Sally] Voyeur, one, a person who habit,
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habitually seeks sexual stim, stimulation
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by visual means.
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Wait, there's more.
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Two, a prying observer who is usually seeking
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the sordid or the scan, scan--
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- [Marilyn] Scandalous.
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- [Sally] Scandalous.
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Three, one affected with undue visual curiosity.
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Who does that remind you of?
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- [Marilyn] I don't know.
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- [Sally] Alex, Alex Carson.
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(crickets chirping)
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- [Mrs. White] Sally, I found the box with your drapes.
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(crickets chirping)
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(bell dinging)
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- All right!
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(soft dramatic music)
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Damn!
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(upbeat music)
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(crickets chirping)
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Ow.
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(crickets chirping)
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Ow.
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- Hello, who's there?
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Are you okay?
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- [Alex] No.
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- Wait and let me come help.
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I know first aid.
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- [Alex] Great.
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(dogs barking)
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- Here, let me help you.
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Put your arm around my waist.
40
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Do you think you broke your foot?
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- I'm not sure.
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- Well, we'll go slower.
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Are you gonna be able to stand up okay?
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- Yeah.
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- Do you need some help getting inside?
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- No, no thanks.
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- You were spying on me, weren't you?
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That's pretty immature.
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- Are you the new girl Marilyn was showing
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around at school today?
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- Uh-huh, I'm in Mr. Keck's homeroom.
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Why, do you have him?
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- No, I'm only a freshman.
54
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- Oh, that explains it.
55
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You're still a boy.
56
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- Oh, and you're more mature, huh?
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- Girls mature much faster than boys.
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Didn't you know that?
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I mean, I'm nearly a woman.
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- Really?
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- Maturity isn't just physical, dumb-ass,
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but of course you wouldn't know that,
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sneaking around and peeping on girls.
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- Shh, keep your voice down, my parents'll hear.
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(crickets chirping)
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- Boy, this is a really nice house.
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- Shh!
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Damn.
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- Wait a minute, you can't climb on that foot.
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- Are you gonna carry me?
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- Well you may damage it more.
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What's your name, anyway?
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- Alex, Alex Carson.
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- Well I'm Sally Clark, your new neighbor.
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- Well goodnight.
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- Night.
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Weird.
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- No, no, I don't want the smaller dish.
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I want the Earth Station Three with the amplifier.
80
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Yes, there will be someone here this afternoon.
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C-A-R-S-O-N.
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Yeah, thank you.
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- Hey, Dad, are we getting a satellite receiving station?
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- Yep.
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- Great.
86
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- Dillard's Department Store had a shoe sale yesterday.
87
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They were all marked down to $35 a pair,
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so I bought six pairs, saved over $150.
89
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- [Mr. Carson] Intercontinental's down an eighth.
90
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That's not good.
91
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- That's not good.
92
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- Signed us all up at the Stay Fit Health Spa.
93
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So I guess I'll have to buy new
94
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racquetball outfits this weekend.
95
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- [Mr. Carson] Aw, damn.
96
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Amalgamated Conglomerate's dipped three-eighths.
97
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- Pretty bad, huh?
98
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- [Mr. Carson] Yeah, pretty bad.
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- [Mrs. Carson] Take your vitamins, boys.
100
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- Well, Dad, just remember, everything is cyclical.
101
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That stock'll come back up eventually.
102
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Just gotta hold out, don't panic.
103
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That's the way everything works.
104
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- [Reporter On Radio] Their country paid wartime
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reparations to a major West Coast--
106
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- You know, you might have a point.
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Honey, I think we're gonna make a businessman
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outta my son yet.
109
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- Hey, Dad, she already sweetened your coffee.
110
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- It's never enough.
111
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I'm always tired by 11 o'clock.
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- Here's your lunch, Alex.
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Extra jimjam.
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- Thanks, Mom.
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- [Reporter On Radio] Saying that the escalating
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carborundum prices continues to demand full attention.
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- Dad? - Yes, son.
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- I'd like to talk to you about my first business.
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- Sure, go ahead.
120
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- It's like those video cameras that are in banks,
121
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used for surveillance and security.
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Well I've done a lot of market research,
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and I feel this area's prime.
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- What's your downside?
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- [Alex] Well I could probably recover costs
126
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in the home movie type stuff alone.
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- Alex, with your grades as low as they are,
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do you think you can afford to run a business too?
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- Sure, it's like a hobby that'll make money.
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- Make money? - Make money?
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- Sure.
132
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- Maybe you've got a point there, Alex.
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Maybe it is time you start your own business.
134
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You know, when I was your age,
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I already had my own paper route.
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I'd bring in sometimes 20 bucks a week.
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- So you wanna invest, eh?
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- [Mr. Carson] How much do you think
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you need to get started?
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- Well I might just be able to let you in on this.
141
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But I can tell you right now, Carson, it's gonna cost you.
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Cost you big.
143
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- [Mr. Carson] Alex, Alex?
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- Huh?
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- [Mr. Carson] How much do you figure
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you'll need to get started?
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- About $4,000.
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- Honey, will you poor me some more coffee?
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$4,000, that's a lotta money, Alex.
150
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I mean, I'd like to help you get started, but
151
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I don't know if we could spare that much.
152
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We've got the new garage, the satellite station,
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the new lawnmower, the Jacuzzi, we've got the--
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- The MasterCard.
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- That's an excellent idea, Alex.
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- Look, I don't know.
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What do you figure your break-even point is?
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- Um, six months.
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- Would you agree to pay 15% interest,
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with payment on the principal after 90 days?
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- Sure.
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- It's a deal.
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(sighing)
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- Thanks, Dad.
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- Yeah, Cathy, this is Alex Carson.
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Will you raise my credit card limit to 12,000 please?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, thanks.
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- [Reporter On Radio] And it's almost homecoming time
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at St. Benedict's High School,
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so all the school clubs are feverishly working
172
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on their floats for the big parade.
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(school bell ringing)
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(students chattering)
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- This is disgusting.
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Not to mention vile, sick, just plain perverted.
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You were relatively good for the past few months,
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then you pull a stunt like this.
179
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The people up at the home will be ashamed of you.
180
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What kind of a normal, and I emphasize normal,
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God-fearing young man would derive pleasure
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from passing around pictures of his,
183
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his genitals to a girls' typing class?
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- Hey, I just did it as a personal favor.
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- [Mr. White] Favor?
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- Yeah, to some of the girls who don't have brothers.
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Hell, most girls with brothers have bathed
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with them as they grew up.
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We're talking purely educational here, sir.
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- Do you have a degree in psychology, Mr. Byers?
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- No, sir.
192
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- No, you don't.
193
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You're just a streetwise punk.
194
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You can't handle the trauma that you've induced
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on these young girls who aren't yet
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ready to be introduced to--
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- But.
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- [Mr. White] But what?
199
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- What is the proper introduction to the male
200
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,033
sex organ, Mr. White?
201
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- In the context of a sex education classroom
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with a qualified instructor.
203
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- We don't have sex education, we have health class.
204
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And besides, Miss Barton's an old lesbian,
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certainly not qualified to instruct males--
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- Listen, Mister, I don't care what it is.
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Cheating, skipping study hall, smoking grass, whatever.
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One more offense, and it's back up
209
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the hill to the home for you.
210
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Do we understand each other?
211
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- Yeah, man.
212
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:49,833
- I'm not your man.
213
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I'm my own man, you got it?
214
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- Yes, sir.
215
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- I'll be watching you, very closely.
216
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Oh and Byers, I hope you do screw up,
217
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because I want you gone.
218
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- Hi, Daddy.
219
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- Oh hi, honey, give me those.
220
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- Oh, Daddy, I'm not a little girl anymore.
221
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- That boy is sick
222
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and the spitting image of his older brother, Richard.
223
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Who, I might remind you,
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you are not permitted to see ever again.
225
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- Well I just stopped by to tell you that I'm going
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over to Rebecca's house to practice some cheers.
227
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- Well, just be home for supper.
228
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I think your mother's cooked something original.
229
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- Hmm, no boiling bags.
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(students chattering)
231
00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:47,400
(upbeat rock music)
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♪ Came home last night
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♪ Mowed the lawn
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♪ Watching the TV screen
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♪ And all at once, she appears to me ♪
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♪ The girl of my dreams
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00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:13,133
♪ I'm watching my video
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♪ I'm watching my video
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♪ Oh oh, watching my video
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♪ Sure looks good to me
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00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:28,033
♪ Video
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♪ Watching my video
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♪ Oh, whoa
244
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♪ Video
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00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,766
♪ Sure looks good to me
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(upbeat rock music)
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- [DJ] Back to more music on the Mighty X Rock,
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to start off three in a row.
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- So you're gonna start videotaping
250
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instead of using the old nocs, huh?
251
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- Yeah, binoculars got really old fast.
252
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(upbeat rock music)
253
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- You gonna start with Sally?
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- Probably, why?
255
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- I just figured she was your main squeeze
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and you'd want to.
257
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- Squeeze, what's that?
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- Your girlfriend, man.
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- I just met her the other night, Jesus.
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(upbeat rock music)
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- So get moving, if you don't, somebody else will.
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That's the way it is.
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- [Alex] Maybe.
264
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- [Nicholas] Maybe, she came to rescue your dumb-ass.
265
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- She treats me like a brother.
266
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:38,466
She ignores me when I pass her in the hall.
267
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:39,400
- That proves it.
268
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,233
That's how women act.
269
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:43,133
If they ignore you, that means that they're interested
270
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,366
and they're playing hard to get.
271
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:47,166
So hell, man, you're in, you're in.
272
00:12:58,233 --> 00:13:01,100
(doorbell ringing)
273
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,733
- What's the matter with you today, Nicholas?
274
00:13:16,733 --> 00:13:18,933
- Track injury, Mr. Ashen, pulled a muscle.
275
00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:21,800
- Well I'm glad to see you finally joined a team.
276
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,600
Keep you outta trouble, off the streets.
277
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,733
- Oh yes sir, I really have enjoyed it.
278
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,366
(doorbell ringing)
279
00:13:33,866 --> 00:13:36,433
(horn honking)
280
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:45,066
(bottle rattling)
281
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,933
(engine starting)
282
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:51,800
(upbeat rock music)
283
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,733
♪ You always want me
284
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:56,866
- [Nicholas] Hey, check out my new stroker.
285
00:13:56,866 --> 00:13:57,933
- Not another one.
286
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:01,666
Jesus, Nicholas, you're gonna get caught one of these days.
287
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:02,500
- Not me, man.
288
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:04,566
- Oo, wee.
289
00:14:04,566 --> 00:14:05,900
- Good one, huh?
290
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,100
- You must have the world's most largest
291
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,433
collection of stroke books.
292
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:11,833
- Look at that thing.
293
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,800
(tires squealing)
294
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,500
♪ I saw how you treated
295
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,900
♪ A very sick brother
296
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,400
♪ I watched you desert him
297
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,600
You guys getting a satellite station?
298
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,666
- Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
299
00:14:25,666 --> 00:14:27,266
- Damn, you guys get everything.
300
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:33,733
- [Installer] Mister, you wanna get hit by the rays?
301
00:14:33,733 --> 00:14:35,933
- Say, does this thing get that sex channel?
302
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,533
- [Installer] Move it in, that's it.
303
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:42,200
A little bit more, that's good, that's good.
304
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,000
There you go, that's good.
305
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,266
Look, Mister, if you just get outta the way here,
306
00:14:45,266 --> 00:14:46,700
we'll get you put together.
307
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,200
Otherwise, I'm liable to fuck something up.
308
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,600
- Hey, here's a good one, listen to this.
309
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,966
Dear Pamela, my husband won't perform oral sex
310
00:15:09,966 --> 00:15:12,100
because he says it's a perversion.
311
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,466
What should I tell him?
312
00:15:13,466 --> 00:15:15,300
Signed, Frustrated.
313
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,766
Dear Frustrated, tell your husband there'll be
314
00:15:17,766 --> 00:15:20,733
no more eating in til he learns to eat out (laughs).
315
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:29,433
Hey, Alex, have you ever seen one up close?
316
00:15:29,433 --> 00:15:30,633
- Nah.
317
00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:32,833
But I thought about it a lot.
318
00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:34,466
- Thinking about it doesn't count.
319
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:36,500
Doing it, that's what counts.
320
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,533
- [Alex] And I suppose you have?
321
00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:39,066
- Sure.
322
00:15:39,066 --> 00:15:40,133
- Who?
323
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:41,366
- I'll never tell.
324
00:15:41,366 --> 00:15:42,500
- Yeah, right.
325
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:43,633
- You don't believe me?
326
00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:44,466
Watch me.
327
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,600
Oh, yes, Nicholas, oh please.
328
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:51,500
That's the spot, Nicholas, oh ho.
329
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,800
Oh please don't stop.
330
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,133
Oh, you're so good, oh.
331
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:02,333
Oh, hello, Mrs. Carson.
332
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,766
- You all right?
333
00:16:03,766 --> 00:16:05,966
- Yes, ma'am, I just pulled a muscle in my back
334
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,533
and I was working it out.
335
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,333
- Alex, have you finished your homework?
336
00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:10,933
- Yep.
337
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:12,833
- I guess I oughta be going, Mrs. Carson.
338
00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:15,066
- Yeah, he pulled a muscle all right.
339
00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:16,100
- Okay, Nicholas.
340
00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:19,100
Take care of that back.
341
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,000
- [Alex] See you tomorrow, Nicholas.
342
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000
- Okey doke.
343
00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:37,166
(crickets chirping)
344
00:16:58,066 --> 00:16:59,833
- She gonna undress soon?
345
00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:01,533
- Shh, be quiet, bung hole.
346
00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:03,233
The window's open, she'll hear us.
347
00:17:04,266 --> 00:17:07,266
(crickets chirping)
348
00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:09,933
- We're really gonna see some, huh?
349
00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:12,166
- Yeah, wait til you see her.
350
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:13,500
She's beautiful.
351
00:17:17,066 --> 00:17:18,966
(upbeat jazz music)
352
00:17:18,966 --> 00:17:20,833
- [Alex] Come on back, let me see it.
353
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,000
Oh wow.
354
00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:32,133
Okay, Sally, that's great.
355
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:33,800
Take it all off, come on.
356
00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:37,633
(upbeat jazz music)
357
00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:07,933
Come on back, come on back.
358
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,500
(humming)
359
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:20,533
(upbeat jazz music)
360
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,400
Wow that's it, dump the towel.
361
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,433
Come on, Sally, please, dump the towel.
362
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,400
(upbeat jazz music)
363
00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:55,266
(Pac-Man playing)
364
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:00,633
- Oh, did you see that move?
365
00:19:00,633 --> 00:19:03,100
- She's beautiful, man, beautiful.
366
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,266
- I wanna see the tape.
367
00:19:04,266 --> 00:19:05,433
- I forgot to turn it on.
368
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:07,133
- You dumb-ass.
369
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,633
Lend me a dollar so I can play Nuclear Madness again, okay?
370
00:19:09,633 --> 00:19:12,333
- Man that's six bucks you owe me, dude.
371
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:13,766
- Thanks.
372
00:19:13,766 --> 00:19:15,266
- Man, when I get rolling, I'm gonna have tapes
373
00:19:15,266 --> 00:19:16,766
of the prettiest naked girls in town.
374
00:19:16,766 --> 00:19:19,900
- Hell, I could see that at the adult bookstore.
375
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,033
- Not girls you know, idiot.
376
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:24,066
Speaking of girls I'd like to see naked.
377
00:19:24,066 --> 00:19:26,400
Here comes your brother's girlfriend, Marilyn.
378
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,666
I bet she and Richard do it all the time.
379
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:28,500
- Of course.
380
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:30,866
- You ever seen them?
381
00:19:30,866 --> 00:19:31,800
- Nah.
382
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,033
- [Alex] How do you know?
383
00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:34,966
- Hello, Nicholas, Alex.
384
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,500
- Hello, Marilyn. - Hello, Marilyn.
385
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,200
- What can we do for you today, Marilyn.
386
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,700
- Well I want you to deliver a message to Richard
387
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:42,833
when he gets back in town.
388
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:43,666
Tell him that,
389
00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:46,766
tell him to give me a call, okay?
390
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:47,600
- Yeah, sure.
391
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:48,433
- Thanks a lot.
392
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:51,966
- Well I'll sure tell him, Marilyn.
393
00:19:51,966 --> 00:19:54,266
He's due in from Baltimore any day now.
394
00:19:54,266 --> 00:19:56,166
Shit, I have to get his car back in shape
395
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,566
before he hits town.
396
00:19:57,566 --> 00:19:59,100
- That's pretty good, Alex.
397
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:01,500
- Oh, Marilyn, Alex has a question for you.
398
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,633
- Hey, no I don't, asshole.
399
00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:03,566
- Yeah, he does, he does.
400
00:20:03,566 --> 00:20:04,900
Go ahead, man, ask her.
401
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:06,433
- Would you knock it off, you stupid shit?
402
00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:08,033
- It's about you and Richard.
403
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:12,200
He wants to know if you, if you, um, get it on?
404
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,933
- Well, what do you mean get it on?
405
00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:16,166
- You know, fool around.
406
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:17,733
- Fool around?
407
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:19,433
Be specific.
408
00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:20,966
- Never mind, Marilyn.
409
00:20:20,966 --> 00:20:22,166
- I'll see boys later.
410
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:26,300
Oh, Nicholas, I like your Polaroids.
411
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:29,766
I didn't know that you and Richard had so much in common.
412
00:20:29,766 --> 00:20:31,866
- Serves you right, you stupid shit.
413
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,200
(tires squealing)
414
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:48,966
- What are they doing now?
415
00:20:48,966 --> 00:20:50,566
- We're adding on to the back porch.
416
00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:52,866
- Oh, so, what time tonight?
417
00:20:52,866 --> 00:20:54,166
- Nine o'clock?
418
00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:55,633
- Okay, boy, what an exciting night.
419
00:20:58,366 --> 00:20:59,200
See you later.
420
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,433
- Bye.
421
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:03,166
(engine starting)
422
00:21:15,966 --> 00:21:18,533
(bird calling)
423
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,100
(door opening)
424
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:34,366
- Oh, Alex, I'm so glad you stopped by.
425
00:21:34,366 --> 00:21:36,533
I just can't get my mind off of you.
426
00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:47,166
(soft piano music)
427
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,500
(crickets chirping)
428
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,466
- [Woman On TV] It's my husband, Dr. Bromley.
429
00:22:03,466 --> 00:22:05,700
Ever since that accident at the nuclear power plant--
430
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:10,033
- Hmm, lightly steamed vegetables in a double boiler.
431
00:22:10,033 --> 00:22:11,600
A double boiler?
432
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,933
- Be quiet, Mom, I can't hear the soundtrack.
433
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:16,033
- That's the third time you've seen that.
434
00:22:16,033 --> 00:22:17,800
- Oh come on, it's near the part where the girl
435
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,033
gets raped by the slug from Pluto.
436
00:22:20,033 --> 00:22:21,500
- My God, what garbage.
437
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,933
- [Man On TV] No time to lose, take off your clothes
438
00:22:22,933 --> 00:22:24,500
and put on this lead underwear.
439
00:22:30,566 --> 00:22:33,233
(phone dialing)
440
00:22:36,633 --> 00:22:37,466
- Damn.
441
00:22:40,633 --> 00:22:43,300
(phone dialing)
442
00:22:46,233 --> 00:22:48,900
(phone ringing)
443
00:22:50,433 --> 00:22:51,833
- Hello.
444
00:22:51,833 --> 00:22:53,166
- [Alex] Sally?
445
00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:54,333
- Yes.
446
00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:55,233
- [Alex] This is Alex.
447
00:22:55,233 --> 00:22:56,600
- Oh hello, Alex.
448
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,000
- Um, listen, I was wondering if you,
449
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,300
you would like to go to the movies Friday night.
450
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,533
- Um, well,
451
00:23:05,533 --> 00:23:07,300
well what's on?
452
00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:08,800
- [Alex] I don't know, I forgot to look.
453
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,333
- Well, look and then call me back, dumb-ass.
454
00:23:12,333 --> 00:23:13,866
- It's not important what's on.
455
00:23:17,366 --> 00:23:20,033
(phone dialing)
456
00:23:20,033 --> 00:23:22,433
(phone ringing)
457
00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:23,266
- [Alex] Hello.
458
00:23:23,266 --> 00:23:24,166
- Hello, Alex?
459
00:23:24,166 --> 00:23:25,700
- [Alex] Yeah.
460
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:27,500
- [Sally] Hold on a second, I've got a paper right here.
461
00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:31,400
How about Revenge of the Jedi?
462
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:32,600
- Hey, that sounds good.
463
00:23:33,933 --> 00:23:36,800
- Okay, how we gonna get there, can you drive?
464
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,333
- [Alex] No, we usually ride bikes.
465
00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:40,866
- Mm, I didn't bring mine.
466
00:23:40,866 --> 00:23:42,200
- No.
467
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,133
- [Sally] But listen, my parents are out of town.
468
00:23:44,133 --> 00:23:45,666
- They are?
469
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:48,300
- Yeah, and I know where the spare keys are.
470
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:49,233
- Well that's great.
471
00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:51,066
But I don't have my permit yet.
472
00:23:53,033 --> 00:23:55,266
- Well, how about if I drive?
473
00:23:55,266 --> 00:23:56,800
- [Alex] Great.
474
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,266
- Okay, what time?
475
00:23:58,266 --> 00:23:59,266
- 7:30?
476
00:24:00,366 --> 00:24:01,500
- Great.
477
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,833
- All right, well, bye.
478
00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:04,666
- Bye.
479
00:24:06,933 --> 00:24:08,166
(door knocking)
480
00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:09,466
- Come on in. - I did.
481
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:13,166
- Wait til you hear.
482
00:24:13,166 --> 00:24:14,733
- Tell me about it.
483
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,233
- Hello, Marilyn, this is Sally, guess what.
484
00:24:20,233 --> 00:24:23,166
I think I've just been asked out on Alex's first date.
485
00:24:23,166 --> 00:24:25,266
- Do you think she knows it's your first date?
486
00:24:25,266 --> 00:24:26,600
- I doubt it.
487
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,600
- Are you nervous?
488
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,033
- Maybe just a little.
489
00:24:29,033 --> 00:24:30,633
- Of course not.
490
00:24:30,633 --> 00:24:32,833
- Do you think she knows you're up to something?
491
00:24:32,833 --> 00:24:34,166
- Sally, hell no.
492
00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:35,433
- I think he's up to something,
493
00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:37,333
but I can't imagine him trying anything.
494
00:24:37,333 --> 00:24:39,566
- Wow, soft action and everything.
495
00:24:39,566 --> 00:24:41,433
You are gonna try stuff, aren't you?
496
00:24:42,533 --> 00:24:43,666
- Of course.
497
00:24:43,666 --> 00:24:44,866
- Who, Alex?
498
00:24:44,866 --> 00:24:46,633
- How far do you think she'll let you go?
499
00:24:47,666 --> 00:24:49,133
- Maybe just a kiss.
500
00:24:49,133 --> 00:24:50,466
- All the way, huh?
501
00:24:50,466 --> 00:24:51,700
- Yeah, sure.
502
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:53,400
- I'll probably have to kiss him first.
503
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,900
- Wow, a real date!
504
00:25:02,833 --> 00:25:05,166
(crunching)
505
00:25:06,466 --> 00:25:08,700
(growling)
506
00:25:11,633 --> 00:25:12,900
- [Woman On TV] There's someone at the door.
507
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:15,800
Hold the line for just a minute, who's there?
508
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,133
Henry, is that you?
509
00:25:18,133 --> 00:25:19,700
Henry?
510
00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:22,866
(dramatic music on TV)
511
00:25:22,866 --> 00:25:25,066
- Going to install a camera for Nicholas, Mom.
512
00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:26,633
I'll be back in a couple of hours.
513
00:25:26,633 --> 00:25:28,333
- When, exactly, Alex?
514
00:25:28,333 --> 00:25:29,466
- 11 o'clock.
515
00:25:29,466 --> 00:25:32,166
- Okay, 11 o'clock.
516
00:25:32,166 --> 00:25:35,466
(screaming on TV)
517
00:25:35,466 --> 00:25:37,866
(gun firing)
518
00:25:42,633 --> 00:25:44,500
- Here, tighten this down.
519
00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:50,733
- So you really gonna give it a go, huh?
520
00:25:50,733 --> 00:25:52,633
- Yep, I think it's about time
521
00:25:52,633 --> 00:25:54,100
I got serious with ole Sal.
522
00:25:56,266 --> 00:25:57,366
- Are you nervous?
523
00:25:57,366 --> 00:25:58,300
- About what?
524
00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:00,500
- About not knowing what to do.
525
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:01,300
- Of course not.
526
00:26:03,633 --> 00:26:05,766
- Remember the signs of arousal?
527
00:26:05,766 --> 00:26:06,600
- Yeah.
528
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,433
- What are they?
529
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:10,400
- Here, hand me that screwdriver.
530
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:14,133
- Nipples, Alex, when they're hard, it's a dead giveaway.
531
00:26:14,133 --> 00:26:16,200
And breathing, watch for heavy breathing.
532
00:26:17,066 --> 00:26:18,300
- Uh-huh.
533
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:20,866
- How we gonna hide the camera in the car?
534
00:26:20,866 --> 00:26:23,200
- I guess I'll have to park under a streetlight.
535
00:26:24,633 --> 00:26:25,833
Hey, wait a minute.
536
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:26,933
I don't wanna tape it.
537
00:26:28,266 --> 00:26:30,633
- That's the whole point of the date, isn't it?
538
00:26:30,633 --> 00:26:33,466
I mean, we already have a dynamite strip scene.
539
00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:35,133
- I don't know.
540
00:26:35,133 --> 00:26:36,366
- Look, Alex, you know you start something and--
541
00:26:36,366 --> 00:26:38,133
- Can't you see I'm busy, A-hole.
542
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:41,300
Here, hold this while I calibrate the camera.
543
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,533
- All right, okay.
544
00:26:46,666 --> 00:26:49,766
I'll just tell old Sally that she's been
545
00:26:49,766 --> 00:26:52,366
seen undressing thanks to Alex here.
546
00:26:52,366 --> 00:26:53,300
- Hey, you do and I'll leave you
547
00:26:53,300 --> 00:26:54,766
out of any further sessions.
548
00:26:55,900 --> 00:26:57,900
Go and buy your own damn equipment.
549
00:27:39,533 --> 00:27:41,833
(soft music)
550
00:27:41,833 --> 00:27:43,933
- I wonder how come it is we've both got allergies
551
00:27:43,933 --> 00:27:46,533
and I can't breathe in this place and you can.
552
00:27:46,533 --> 00:27:49,133
- It's because you're anal retentive.
553
00:27:49,133 --> 00:27:50,566
- Where's your gown?
554
00:27:50,566 --> 00:27:53,133
- Says her in Dear Pamela that sleeping naked
555
00:27:53,133 --> 00:27:55,633
may increase your husband's sexual appetite.
556
00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,133
- [Mr. Carson] Dear Pamela?
557
00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,333
- Your son's porno magazine.
558
00:27:59,333 --> 00:28:01,433
- [Mr. Carson] My God, it looks like open-heart surgery.
559
00:28:01,433 --> 00:28:03,866
- That's Lisa, porno star.
560
00:28:03,866 --> 00:28:05,166
- Is Alex still out?
561
00:28:05,166 --> 00:28:06,733
- Til 11.
562
00:28:06,733 --> 00:28:08,233
- On a school night?
563
00:28:08,233 --> 00:28:10,600
- Yeah, he's out working, working to pay you back
564
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,566
for all that video junk you bought.
565
00:28:14,766 --> 00:28:16,600
- Wow, excellent.
566
00:28:30,233 --> 00:28:31,766
- Alex?
567
00:28:31,766 --> 00:28:33,266
- Yeah, Dad.
568
00:28:33,266 --> 00:28:36,433
- Your mom found a girlie magazine in your room today.
569
00:28:36,433 --> 00:28:38,300
- What was she doing in my room without me being here?
570
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:39,866
- Never mind that, you wanna tell me
571
00:28:39,866 --> 00:28:42,033
how you got it and if you've got any more?
572
00:28:42,033 --> 00:28:44,233
- You can get them at any corner store, Dad.
573
00:28:45,666 --> 00:28:48,766
- Alex, Alex, when I was your age,
574
00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:52,133
I never knew what a woman looked like naked.
575
00:28:52,133 --> 00:28:54,666
We felt it would ruin sex for later.
576
00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:56,900
Do you understand what I'm--
577
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:58,266
Your screen just went blank.
578
00:28:58,266 --> 00:28:59,533
- It's a monitor, Dad,
579
00:28:59,533 --> 00:29:01,800
and that's because it's dark outside.
580
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,300
- Oh.
581
00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:06,366
You know, if we were caught with a magazine like that,
582
00:29:06,366 --> 00:29:07,533
we were really ashamed.
583
00:29:08,766 --> 00:29:09,833
- Why, Dad?
584
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:11,866
Everyone knows they exist.
585
00:29:11,866 --> 00:29:12,833
Did you steal them?
586
00:29:14,466 --> 00:29:15,733
- No.
587
00:29:15,733 --> 00:29:17,466
- Well anyway, it's Nicholas' magazine.
588
00:29:17,466 --> 00:29:18,766
He left it over here.
589
00:29:18,766 --> 00:29:20,600
So you have to give it back to him.
590
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,466
- I don't know if I can do that.
591
00:29:24,466 --> 00:29:28,233
Your mother has already confiscated it.
592
00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:29,666
- Confiscated it?
593
00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:32,100
You can't confiscate someone else's magazine, Dad.
594
00:29:33,166 --> 00:29:34,333
- I guess you're right.
595
00:29:35,333 --> 00:29:38,000
What if I paid him for it?
596
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,300
- That sounds fair enough.
597
00:29:40,500 --> 00:29:41,333
- Well.
598
00:29:42,733 --> 00:29:43,566
- But, Dad?
599
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,900
- Yeah, Son.
600
00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:49,133
- When was the first time you went out on a real date?
601
00:29:49,133 --> 00:29:51,100
- What do you mean real date?
602
00:29:51,100 --> 00:29:53,966
- [Alex] You know, when important stuff starts happening.
603
00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:56,833
- You mean, when did I fall in love?
604
00:29:56,833 --> 00:29:59,500
- Not really, just the sexual stuff.
605
00:30:01,966 --> 00:30:03,200
- Oh, well, uh.
606
00:30:04,366 --> 00:30:07,833
I don't know, I was 18, 19 maybe.
607
00:30:07,833 --> 00:30:09,866
- Did you go all the way?
608
00:30:09,866 --> 00:30:13,333
- No.
609
00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:16,733
At least not until I was nearly through school.
610
00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:18,766
- High school, right?
611
00:30:18,766 --> 00:30:20,166
- [Mr. Carson] No, college.
612
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:26,133
- Okay.
613
00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:29,166
Thanks a lot.
614
00:30:30,833 --> 00:30:31,666
- Sure.
615
00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:35,933
Alex?
616
00:30:37,100 --> 00:30:38,066
- Yeah.
617
00:30:38,066 --> 00:30:39,766
- Keep up the good work, eh?
618
00:30:39,766 --> 00:30:41,766
Your mom and I are real proud of you, you know that?
619
00:30:41,766 --> 00:30:42,733
- Thanks a lot, Dad.
620
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,366
(light mysterious music)
621
00:31:42,966 --> 00:31:44,300
- Sally, hold up a second.
622
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:46,533
Did you hear the rumor today?
623
00:31:46,533 --> 00:31:47,766
- Which one?
624
00:31:47,766 --> 00:31:49,366
- The one about Chuck Sugar and you?
625
00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:50,800
- Me?
626
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,266
- Yeah, Sarah Norton overheard him say that he might
627
00:31:52,266 --> 00:31:54,000
ask you to the homecoming dance next weekend.
628
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,833
- You're kidding, Charles Sugar?
629
00:31:55,833 --> 00:31:58,200
- No, well he's deciding between you and Whitney Sain,
630
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,866
but listen, I'm late for practice, give me a call.
631
00:31:59,866 --> 00:32:00,666
- Okay.
632
00:32:05,033 --> 00:32:08,200
(students chattering)
633
00:32:32,900 --> 00:32:36,166
- Just remember what Richard has always told me.
634
00:32:36,166 --> 00:32:38,300
Making love is like frying bacon.
635
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:40,033
You have to make sure the pan is hot
636
00:32:40,033 --> 00:32:42,266
before you slap the meat to it.
637
00:32:42,266 --> 00:32:44,533
- My father says he wasn't laid til he was in college.
638
00:32:44,533 --> 00:32:46,133
- [Nicholas] Jesus.
639
00:32:46,133 --> 00:32:47,933
- I can't remember all this crap.
640
00:32:47,933 --> 00:32:51,466
- Look, just wait 60 seconds before each major move.
641
00:32:51,466 --> 00:32:53,033
This way, you'll never rush her.
642
00:32:54,066 --> 00:32:55,500
Oh, Jesus, I gotta get going.
643
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,733
(students chattering)
644
00:33:11,866 --> 00:33:12,700
- Hey, Sally.
645
00:33:16,533 --> 00:33:18,033
Mind if I walk along?
646
00:33:18,033 --> 00:33:19,300
- Sure, if you want.
647
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:24,733
(soft piano music)
648
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,233
(traffic passing)
649
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,533
(doorbell ringing)
650
00:33:47,733 --> 00:33:48,933
- Oh, hello, Nicholas.
651
00:33:48,933 --> 00:33:50,200
- Oh, hello, Mr. Ashen.
652
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,100
- Gotta try one of my hotdogs, Nick.
653
00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:54,033
Got a great promotion this week.
654
00:33:54,033 --> 00:33:55,033
Four for a dollar.
655
00:33:56,233 --> 00:33:57,166
- Sounds great.
656
00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:05,166
- Trick knee acting up again, Nicholas?
657
00:34:05,166 --> 00:34:06,500
- Yeah, sure is.
658
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,333
- Hold it, you little punk.
659
00:34:08,333 --> 00:34:10,100
What else you been stealing from me?
660
00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:11,333
- Nothing, Mr. Ashen.
661
00:34:11,333 --> 00:34:13,300
I promise, this is my first time, honest.
662
00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:14,766
- You lying shit.
663
00:34:14,766 --> 00:34:17,733
You even flinch and I'll open you up, you get it, punk?
664
00:34:17,733 --> 00:34:19,533
- Yes, sir, please be careful.
665
00:34:20,700 --> 00:34:23,466
Oh please, don't call the cops, please.
666
00:34:23,466 --> 00:34:25,766
Call my brother, or Mr. White, the principal,
667
00:34:25,766 --> 00:34:27,066
but not the police.
668
00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:31,666
- Here, hold this on the little punk while I dial.
669
00:34:33,733 --> 00:34:34,600
- What'd he do?
670
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:35,466
- What?
671
00:34:35,466 --> 00:34:37,333
- I said what did he do?
672
00:34:37,333 --> 00:34:39,233
- Nothing major, really.
673
00:34:39,233 --> 00:34:40,033
- Oh.
674
00:34:43,966 --> 00:34:44,866
(burps) Excuse me.
675
00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:50,500
(upbeat rock music)
676
00:34:52,533 --> 00:34:54,766
- Y'all wanna see my radio?
677
00:35:05,033 --> 00:35:05,933
- Tom, honey,
678
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:10,166
you know I've watched every episode of Magnum PI.
679
00:35:11,566 --> 00:35:12,933
I'm so excited that you got my letter
680
00:35:12,933 --> 00:35:15,233
and decided to come on over.
681
00:35:22,866 --> 00:35:23,700
(phone ringing)
682
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:25,233
Oh you do?
683
00:35:25,233 --> 00:35:26,166
Thanks.
684
00:35:27,300 --> 00:35:29,233
You know, I got it just for you.
685
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:36,366
(phone ringing)
686
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:39,266
Hello.
687
00:35:39,266 --> 00:35:40,100
Yes.
688
00:35:41,233 --> 00:35:42,066
Just a minute.
689
00:35:47,966 --> 00:35:49,033
Daddy, telephone.
690
00:35:57,033 --> 00:35:58,333
- Hello.
691
00:35:58,333 --> 00:35:59,333
Yes, this is he.
692
00:36:00,566 --> 00:36:02,400
Oh, well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
693
00:36:04,433 --> 00:36:05,366
He did?
694
00:36:06,733 --> 00:36:08,500
No, don't call the police, I'll be right over.
695
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,500
I can handle this.
696
00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:13,200
I've got you this time, you little shit.
697
00:36:14,233 --> 00:36:17,233
(upbeat rock music)
698
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,966
♪ I came here with good intentions ♪
699
00:36:33,966 --> 00:36:36,966
♪ Without fear or apprehension
700
00:36:36,966 --> 00:36:39,566
♪ I work hard til I'm through
701
00:36:39,566 --> 00:36:42,800
♪ Because it's so hard to get through to you ♪
702
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,633
♪ I'm no jester, I'm no clown
703
00:36:45,633 --> 00:36:48,666
♪ I don't flinch, I won't go down ♪
704
00:36:48,666 --> 00:36:51,466
♪ For your pleasure, for your fancy ♪
705
00:36:51,466 --> 00:36:55,433
♪ I won't do tricks just to get you dancing ♪
706
00:36:55,433 --> 00:36:58,666
- Do you like my new dress?
707
00:36:58,666 --> 00:37:00,200
Like my new dress?
708
00:37:03,466 --> 00:37:04,466
- It's okay.
709
00:37:06,033 --> 00:37:07,033
I like it.
710
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,866
I like it, but I can see right through it.
711
00:37:12,033 --> 00:37:14,733
- Richard, where's your table?
712
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:15,566
- Uh.
713
00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:18,333
I sent it out to be refinished.
714
00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:19,166
It was stained.
715
00:37:19,166 --> 00:37:20,600
- Bullshit, you sold it.
716
00:37:22,166 --> 00:37:24,100
Richard, you can't keep selling off
717
00:37:24,100 --> 00:37:25,433
furniture to pay your rent.
718
00:37:26,533 --> 00:37:27,366
Richard.
719
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:30,433
Richard.
720
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,966
- Your ass is grass, baby.
721
00:37:41,966 --> 00:37:43,200
- [Nicholas] Let go of me.
722
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,966
- You've just written your walking papers.
723
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,066
You're going back to Harrelson.
724
00:37:55,733 --> 00:37:58,566
(engine starting)
725
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,966
(light moaning and giggling)
726
00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:18,466
- You don't like my dress.
727
00:38:18,466 --> 00:38:20,500
- [Richard] Of course I do.
728
00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:23,866
- It's been four whole days, Richard.
729
00:38:23,866 --> 00:38:25,166
I'm about to go crazy.
730
00:38:25,166 --> 00:38:26,066
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
731
00:38:27,366 --> 00:38:28,500
- Let's get this off.
732
00:38:31,066 --> 00:38:33,733
(light moaning)
733
00:38:47,133 --> 00:38:49,400
(giggling)
734
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:59,333
(traffic passing)
735
00:39:02,133 --> 00:39:03,333
Oh, it's your father.
736
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,800
It's your father, Jesus!
737
00:39:13,066 --> 00:39:15,333
(laughing)
738
00:39:21,733 --> 00:39:23,266
Oh, hello, Nick, Mr. White.
739
00:39:23,266 --> 00:39:24,500
- Hello, Richard.
740
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:26,366
Nicholas here has just written himself
741
00:39:26,366 --> 00:39:29,066
a one-way ticket back to Harrelson School.
742
00:39:29,066 --> 00:39:31,700
I'm glad you're here to see him off.
743
00:39:31,700 --> 00:39:34,866
Look at this place, it's disgusting.
744
00:39:34,866 --> 00:39:36,533
Certainly not an environment to bring up
745
00:39:36,533 --> 00:39:38,433
a young man like Nicholas.
746
00:39:38,433 --> 00:39:40,766
- Well, obviously, you think the answer is not
747
00:39:40,766 --> 00:39:42,966
love and trust but an all-boys school.
748
00:39:42,966 --> 00:39:44,400
- It straightened me out.
749
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,000
- That's a matter of opinion.
750
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,866
- I resent your attitude.
751
00:39:47,866 --> 00:39:49,100
- Yeah?
752
00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:50,900
Well I resent yours, and I'd appreciate you
753
00:39:50,900 --> 00:39:52,733
getting the hell out of my house.
754
00:39:52,733 --> 00:39:54,700
My brother and I did not invite you.
755
00:39:54,700 --> 00:39:57,000
- After Monday, Mr. Byers, it won't matter.
756
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,333
Because I'll have no more need to come to this side of town.
757
00:40:00,333 --> 00:40:01,133
- Hey, White.
758
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:04,933
- I screwed up.
759
00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:11,033
- Don't worry, Nick, it'll work out okay.
760
00:40:12,266 --> 00:40:14,100
We won't let you be taken away again.
761
00:40:48,666 --> 00:40:49,866
- [Alex] Oh wow!
762
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,233
- [Mr. White On PA] Let me repeat that
763
00:40:55,233 --> 00:40:56,600
for those of you on drugs.
764
00:40:58,066 --> 00:41:01,500
Contrary to the rumor, the Boys Glee Club will not,
765
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:04,533
I emphasize not, be allowed to participate
766
00:41:04,533 --> 00:41:07,233
in the homecoming parade this Saturday
767
00:41:07,233 --> 00:41:09,033
with their giant sex organ float.
768
00:41:09,033 --> 00:41:11,633
- Dear Sally, the reason I want us to go
769
00:41:11,633 --> 00:41:13,733
out tonight is because I--
770
00:41:15,533 --> 00:41:16,566
I--
771
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:24,133
Dear Sally, I know I said we would go to the movies,
772
00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:27,266
but I'd like for us to go to--
773
00:41:27,266 --> 00:41:28,300
Go to--
774
00:41:29,966 --> 00:41:31,466
Go to--
775
00:41:31,466 --> 00:41:32,366
Damn.
776
00:41:32,366 --> 00:41:33,866
- Alex? - Yes, ma'am?
777
00:41:33,866 --> 00:41:35,733
- Take this and preview it please, it's last year's
778
00:41:35,733 --> 00:41:38,166
basketball game between the students and the faculty.
779
00:41:38,166 --> 00:41:40,066
- Okay, Mrs. Hatfield.
780
00:41:40,066 --> 00:41:42,233
Now's a good chance to see the tape.
781
00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:43,066
- What tape?
782
00:41:43,066 --> 00:41:44,466
- The tape Alex made.
783
00:41:44,466 --> 00:41:45,466
- So?
784
00:41:45,466 --> 00:41:47,066
- It's got T and A.
785
00:41:47,066 --> 00:41:48,533
- Tits and ass, wait up.
786
00:41:48,533 --> 00:41:50,000
- Now wait a minute, guys.
787
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,866
You guys gotta cough up a buck each.
788
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,733
- I don't have to pay.
789
00:41:54,733 --> 00:41:55,533
- Jerk.
790
00:41:57,766 --> 00:41:58,566
- Let's go.
791
00:42:03,100 --> 00:42:05,533
- Really, you're not kidding, can you see everything?
792
00:42:05,533 --> 00:42:07,100
- Shut up, watch.
793
00:42:11,733 --> 00:42:12,966
- Wow.
794
00:42:12,966 --> 00:42:16,100
- They're beautiful, perfectly shaped.
795
00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:17,233
Who is it?
796
00:42:17,233 --> 00:42:18,666
- Oh shit.
797
00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:19,600
- How did it play, Alex?
798
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,066
- Pretty good, Mrs. Hatfield.
799
00:42:21,066 --> 00:42:22,666
- Oh that's good, would you put it on there now
800
00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:24,533
and roll it out and set up for the convocation?
801
00:42:24,533 --> 00:42:25,433
- Right away, Mrs. Hatfield.
802
00:42:25,433 --> 00:42:26,266
- Thank you.
803
00:42:27,666 --> 00:42:31,700
Alex, hurry up, we don't have all day, come on, come on.
804
00:42:41,333 --> 00:42:43,033
- I think if you plugged this into here.
805
00:42:43,033 --> 00:42:43,966
(microphone screeching)
806
00:42:43,966 --> 00:42:45,100
It's working, it's working.
807
00:42:45,966 --> 00:42:48,633
(microphone blowing)
808
00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:50,833
Before we begin our magazine drive assembly,
809
00:42:50,833 --> 00:42:52,533
I have a few announcements to make.
810
00:42:53,900 --> 00:42:57,000
First, anyone caught throwing food in the cafeteria
811
00:42:58,466 --> 00:43:00,366
will be sent to study hall and put on double probation.
812
00:43:00,366 --> 00:43:02,633
Now I really mean business this time.
813
00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:07,766
Next, will all of the students preparing to go
814
00:43:07,766 --> 00:43:10,400
with H.G. Welles on the trip to the wax museum
815
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,466
please meet on May Fourth, 1922.
816
00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:15,833
What kind of a joke is this?
817
00:43:15,833 --> 00:43:18,066
Anyone caught putting a joke announcement in
818
00:43:18,066 --> 00:43:20,066
will be suspended one period from school
819
00:43:20,066 --> 00:43:21,700
and put on double probation.
820
00:43:23,133 --> 00:43:26,133
(students laughing)
821
00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:30,533
And now here to introduce this year's annual
822
00:43:30,533 --> 00:43:34,633
St. Benedict High School's magazine drive is Mr. Steptoe.
823
00:43:34,633 --> 00:43:36,866
(applause)
824
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,766
- How many of you wanna grow up
825
00:43:42,766 --> 00:43:44,433
and have your own condominium?
826
00:43:46,666 --> 00:43:47,666
How many of you wanna grow up
827
00:43:47,666 --> 00:43:49,266
and have your own swimming pool?
828
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,533
How many of you wanna grow up
829
00:43:53,533 --> 00:43:57,700
and have more money than you even know what to do with?
830
00:43:59,300 --> 00:44:03,100
- Well, in order to have all those things,
831
00:44:03,100 --> 00:44:05,433
you have to know how to sell.
832
00:44:05,433 --> 00:44:08,066
S-E-L, sell.
833
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,966
Now, we all know that practice makes perfect, right?
834
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,533
I mean, you band members, you have to practice, right?
835
00:44:16,666 --> 00:44:19,300
- You athletes, you have to practice, right?
836
00:44:20,333 --> 00:44:23,366
Well, dear students, now we have
837
00:44:23,366 --> 00:44:25,566
a chance to practice selling.
838
00:44:26,966 --> 00:44:29,366
Now before you see all the many wonderful prizes
839
00:44:29,366 --> 00:44:32,500
you have a chance to have just by selling
840
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:36,566
the most magazines in this year's annual magazine drive.
841
00:44:38,100 --> 00:44:40,033
But before we take the time to explain the rules
842
00:44:40,033 --> 00:44:42,533
of the drive, let's take a look at a clip
843
00:44:42,533 --> 00:44:44,733
of last year's student-faculty game,
844
00:44:44,733 --> 00:44:47,333
just to get us in the mood and get us excited, okay?
845
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,433
(laughing)
846
00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:01,433
- Oh shit.
847
00:45:01,433 --> 00:45:03,666
(laughing)
848
00:45:11,233 --> 00:45:13,433
(whistling)
849
00:45:13,433 --> 00:45:15,700
(laughing)
850
00:45:44,733 --> 00:45:48,233
Wait a minute, how about the condominiums?
851
00:45:59,466 --> 00:46:00,733
- Hey, how'd it go, Nick?
852
00:46:03,266 --> 00:46:04,100
- Well.
853
00:46:05,966 --> 00:46:07,166
I leave next week.
854
00:46:08,433 --> 00:46:10,566
He woulda had me out today, but, uh,
855
00:46:11,900 --> 00:46:13,933
the right man at the school wasn't there.
856
00:46:18,133 --> 00:46:20,233
- God, I'm sorry, Nick.
857
00:46:20,233 --> 00:46:21,166
Jesus.
858
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:27,333
- I had nothing to lose by taking the blame.
859
00:46:27,333 --> 00:46:29,233
I was a goner anyway.
860
00:46:29,233 --> 00:46:31,200
- I feel terrible.
861
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,200
Don't worry, Nick, I'll get you out of this somehow.
862
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:35,033
I promise.
863
00:46:41,366 --> 00:46:44,033
- Hey, how about a game of Tasmania?
864
00:46:44,033 --> 00:46:45,033
That'll cheer us up.
865
00:46:45,966 --> 00:46:47,000
Come on, let's go.
866
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:49,233
- You go ahead.
867
00:46:50,433 --> 00:46:51,966
I wanna think for a while.
868
00:46:53,433 --> 00:46:57,000
- It's not that big of a deal, Alex.
869
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:58,066
It's just school.
870
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:06,400
- Yeah.
871
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,633
- Hey, I hear Alex Carson's been bothering you.
872
00:47:14,633 --> 00:47:17,233
(gong banging)
873
00:47:18,733 --> 00:47:20,166
- Not really.
874
00:47:20,166 --> 00:47:22,266
- He's just a little wimp.
875
00:47:22,266 --> 00:47:25,600
(upbeat dramatic music)
876
00:47:29,100 --> 00:47:29,933
- He-yah.
877
00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:34,400
She's with me now, understand?
878
00:47:35,533 --> 00:47:38,266
(birds chirping)
879
00:47:44,633 --> 00:47:46,833
- Honey, bring me another martini, will you?
880
00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:53,500
What's this?
881
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,500
Ah, that's not even hot.
882
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:58,866
Why don't you run it through another cycle?
883
00:47:58,866 --> 00:48:00,433
I usually double whatever that thing says.
884
00:48:00,433 --> 00:48:02,633
- You don't microwave food in aluminum containers, Dad.
885
00:48:02,633 --> 00:48:05,500
- Oh, Alex, give me a break.
886
00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:07,700
- Here, try this, it's macaroni and cheese.
887
00:48:07,700 --> 00:48:08,966
I did it two cycles.
888
00:48:08,966 --> 00:48:10,300
- Ooh, now that's good, I like the--
889
00:48:10,300 --> 00:48:12,100
Now what's that taste, it's delicate.
890
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:14,633
- Are we getting a pool this year, Dad?
891
00:48:14,633 --> 00:48:15,733
- It's melted butter, Dear.
892
00:48:15,733 --> 00:48:17,133
This is Salisbury steak.
893
00:48:17,133 --> 00:48:18,066
- Hey, what are you gonna wear
894
00:48:18,066 --> 00:48:19,400
to that costume party tonight?
895
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:20,866
- Are we?
896
00:48:20,866 --> 00:48:21,666
- [Mrs. Carson] I'll either be a mouse or a vampire.
897
00:48:21,666 --> 00:48:22,700
- I don't know, maybe.
898
00:48:22,700 --> 00:48:24,366
- [Mrs. Carson] Or a witch.
899
00:48:24,366 --> 00:48:26,133
- Come on, Dad, everybody in the neighborhood
900
00:48:26,133 --> 00:48:27,066
has one but us.
901
00:48:29,433 --> 00:48:30,700
- Or a slug.
902
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:32,433
- You're know you're right, you're right.
903
00:48:32,433 --> 00:48:33,766
- [Mrs. Carson] Or a sperm.
904
00:48:34,700 --> 00:48:35,633
- Here, we go.
905
00:48:35,633 --> 00:48:36,466
A sperm?
906
00:48:36,466 --> 00:48:37,300
A sperm?
907
00:48:38,233 --> 00:48:39,066
A sperm, all right.
908
00:48:40,566 --> 00:48:42,500
Okay, here we go.
909
00:48:43,966 --> 00:48:46,933
Alex, how's the video biz going?
910
00:48:46,933 --> 00:48:48,433
- Okay, I guess.
911
00:48:48,433 --> 00:48:50,433
- Honey, would you bring me a knife with a serrated edge?
912
00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:53,466
- [Mrs. Carson] Is something wrong?
913
00:48:53,466 --> 00:48:54,833
- Yeah, no, it's fine.
914
00:48:54,833 --> 00:48:56,666
It's a little tough, isn't it?
915
00:48:56,666 --> 00:48:57,500
Oh, God.
916
00:48:58,933 --> 00:49:00,466
Thank you, thank you.
917
00:49:00,466 --> 00:49:01,966
Alex, you'll get used to it.
918
00:49:01,966 --> 00:49:03,800
You know, it'll get into your blood after a while,
919
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,233
and pretty soon, you won't wanna do anything else.
920
00:49:06,233 --> 00:49:07,666
Owning a business is one of the most satisfying
921
00:49:07,666 --> 00:49:10,833
experiences you could ever experience.
922
00:49:12,466 --> 00:49:13,833
Where you going?
923
00:49:13,833 --> 00:49:15,066
- To get ready for my date.
924
00:49:15,066 --> 00:49:15,900
- A date?
925
00:49:15,900 --> 00:49:17,166
Really, with who?
926
00:49:17,166 --> 00:49:19,400
- He and Sally are going out.
927
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:20,666
- No kidding, well that's my boy.
928
00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:22,233
I knew he'd get around to it sooner or later.
929
00:49:22,233 --> 00:49:23,700
- Honey, don't push him.
930
00:49:23,700 --> 00:49:26,100
- Who's pushing, he's 14 years old.
931
00:49:26,100 --> 00:49:26,933
Hell, when I was 14--
932
00:49:26,933 --> 00:49:27,800
- No, please.
933
00:49:32,166 --> 00:49:33,166
- All right.
934
00:49:38,633 --> 00:49:41,466
(traffic passing)
935
00:49:42,466 --> 00:49:45,466
(upbeat rock music)
936
00:50:28,466 --> 00:50:31,000
(door knocking)
937
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,000
(upbeat rock music)
938
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:46,366
(laughing)
939
00:50:46,366 --> 00:50:49,333
(upbeat rock music)
940
00:51:00,466 --> 00:51:02,633
(laughing)
941
00:51:02,633 --> 00:51:05,633
(upbeat rock music)
942
00:51:50,700 --> 00:51:53,600
(doorbell ringing)
943
00:51:56,366 --> 00:51:57,533
- My God, Alex.
944
00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,833
- Are you ready?
945
00:51:59,833 --> 00:52:00,666
- Well yeah.
946
00:52:01,566 --> 00:52:02,400
- Okay.
947
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:18,833
- Alex, I cannot breathe with you sitting so close.
948
00:52:20,066 --> 00:52:22,800
God, I hope we don't get caught doing this.
949
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:23,966
- Don't sweat it.
950
00:52:23,966 --> 00:52:25,300
- You think your parents saw us leave?
951
00:52:25,300 --> 00:52:26,133
- Nah.
952
00:52:27,266 --> 00:52:29,100
We have to turn down Highland Avenue.
953
00:52:30,966 --> 00:52:33,066
- You were terrific, Alex.
954
00:52:34,466 --> 00:52:36,600
No one has ever made me feel that way.
955
00:52:44,433 --> 00:52:45,900
- Where are we headed anyway?
956
00:52:48,100 --> 00:52:49,033
- Just a place.
957
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,333
- Alex, are we going parking?
958
00:52:55,233 --> 00:52:56,166
- Trust me.
959
00:52:58,566 --> 00:53:00,566
- [Sally] God, you're taking me to the woods.
960
00:53:00,566 --> 00:53:01,733
- [Alex] You're driving.
961
00:53:04,100 --> 00:53:05,966
- [Sally] You ever been here before?
962
00:53:05,966 --> 00:53:08,900
- [Alex] Me and Nicholas used to come out here all the time.
963
00:53:11,866 --> 00:53:14,000
(engine stopping)
964
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,066
(keys jingling)
965
00:53:17,066 --> 00:53:19,400
- Alex, why are we parking
966
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,166
when we could be alone at my house?
967
00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:24,133
- I wanted this to be special.
968
00:53:25,266 --> 00:53:26,100
You know?
969
00:53:27,633 --> 00:53:28,733
Here, have a swig.
970
00:53:30,133 --> 00:53:31,133
- Where'd you get it?
971
00:53:31,133 --> 00:53:32,166
- It's my dad's.
972
00:53:38,066 --> 00:53:39,766
(coughing)
973
00:53:39,766 --> 00:53:41,333
- Raise your arms, raise your arms.
974
00:53:41,333 --> 00:53:42,633
- Ow, shit!
975
00:53:42,633 --> 00:53:44,433
(coughing)
976
00:53:44,433 --> 00:53:45,933
Musta gone down the wrong windpipe.
977
00:53:45,933 --> 00:53:47,200
- Here, here, here.
978
00:53:49,566 --> 00:53:51,500
Can't hold your liquor, huh?
979
00:53:51,500 --> 00:53:54,600
(crickets chirping)
980
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,766
(soft romantic music)
981
00:54:17,566 --> 00:54:20,966
You know, if I wanted to kiss you and fool around,
982
00:54:20,966 --> 00:54:22,666
you wouldn't have to get me drunk?
983
00:54:24,366 --> 00:54:27,466
- The liquor's for me, not for you.
984
00:54:27,466 --> 00:54:28,433
- For you?
985
00:54:30,033 --> 00:54:30,866
- Yeah.
986
00:54:31,933 --> 00:54:33,800
So I have the nerve to kiss you.
987
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:38,800
- Oh, Alex.
988
00:54:48,966 --> 00:54:51,166
Alex, you're getting drunk.
989
00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:52,000
- So?
990
00:54:53,466 --> 00:54:54,900
- Well don't get angry.
991
00:54:54,900 --> 00:54:56,833
- Just take me home, I wanna go home!
992
00:54:56,833 --> 00:54:59,100
- Okay, fine, you're drunk anyway.
993
00:54:59,100 --> 00:54:59,933
- Hey, what do you care?
994
00:54:59,933 --> 00:55:00,800
- Let's go.
995
00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:05,366
(engine starting)
996
00:55:05,366 --> 00:55:08,366
(crickets chirping)
997
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,433
(doorbell ringing)
998
00:55:11,433 --> 00:55:12,266
- Night, Daddy.
999
00:55:13,700 --> 00:55:14,933
- You know, honey, you've made your mother and me
1000
00:55:14,933 --> 00:55:17,066
very happy by dating this Schrammm boy
1001
00:55:17,066 --> 00:55:19,800
instead of that garbage Richard Byers.
1002
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,533
- Oh, Daddy, you'll just love Ricky.
1003
00:55:21,533 --> 00:55:24,600
He's a scholar, athletic,
1004
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:26,800
and he's president of the Glee Club.
1005
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,233
- Let me get the door, I'd like to meet this boy.
1006
00:55:33,733 --> 00:55:35,133
- Ricky? - Mr. White.
1007
00:55:35,133 --> 00:55:36,533
- I am pleased to meet you.
1008
00:55:36,533 --> 00:55:37,833
- Pleasure meeting you too, sir.
1009
00:55:37,833 --> 00:55:39,366
- Well, we've gotta be going, Daddy.
1010
00:55:39,366 --> 00:55:41,833
- Well, you too have a good time.
1011
00:55:41,833 --> 00:55:42,666
- Okay.
1012
00:55:48,433 --> 00:55:51,000
(horns honking)
1013
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,000
(crickets chirping)
1014
00:56:07,566 --> 00:56:09,333
- I was thinking we could go over to the Scoreboard Grille
1015
00:56:09,333 --> 00:56:11,133
and watch the Tigers game on the big TV screen.
1016
00:56:11,133 --> 00:56:13,566
You know, pop some popcorn and make an evening of it.
1017
00:56:13,566 --> 00:56:15,933
- Oh, that sounds wonderful.
1018
00:56:15,933 --> 00:56:18,766
(engine starting)
1019
00:56:27,866 --> 00:56:29,700
(upbeat rock music)
1020
00:56:29,700 --> 00:56:31,200
- [Ricky] Marilyn.
1021
00:56:32,466 --> 00:56:33,466
- [Richard] Jerk-off.
1022
00:56:33,466 --> 00:56:34,300
- Marilyn.
1023
00:56:35,333 --> 00:56:36,933
- God, what a doze-off.
1024
00:56:36,933 --> 00:56:38,833
We were gonna watch the game (laughs).
1025
00:56:41,366 --> 00:56:44,366
(upbeat rock music)
1026
00:56:48,233 --> 00:56:51,133
- This is not a red light, asshole.
1027
00:57:01,700 --> 00:57:04,633
(brakes squealing)
1028
00:57:10,533 --> 00:57:12,166
- I think I'm gonna be sick.
1029
00:57:12,166 --> 00:57:13,433
- Ohhhh.
1030
00:57:13,433 --> 00:57:15,233
Well think of something different.
1031
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:17,366
- Like what?
1032
00:57:17,366 --> 00:57:19,166
- Like pistachio ice cream.
1033
00:57:19,166 --> 00:57:20,666
- Awww.
1034
00:57:20,666 --> 00:57:23,700
- Oh, Alex, stand up, you have to walk home, come on.
1035
00:57:23,700 --> 00:57:25,566
- Hey, what do you say we spend the night?
1036
00:57:25,566 --> 00:57:27,066
Okay, okay?
1037
00:57:27,066 --> 00:57:30,233
- Okay fine, fine, just keep walking.
1038
00:57:30,233 --> 00:57:31,300
- You will?
1039
00:57:31,300 --> 00:57:32,133
Really?
1040
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:36,533
- Be careful now.
1041
00:57:36,533 --> 00:57:37,366
Ohhh.
1042
00:57:45,866 --> 00:57:48,566
That's right, left foot, right foot.
1043
00:57:48,566 --> 00:57:51,166
Left foot, right foot, that's right, come on.
1044
00:57:51,166 --> 00:57:52,366
Oh, let's go.
1045
00:57:53,366 --> 00:57:55,366
Left foot, that's right.
1046
00:57:56,833 --> 00:57:59,866
- I knew I could convince you.
1047
00:57:59,866 --> 00:58:00,866
- Goodnight.
1048
00:58:01,700 --> 00:58:03,200
- Hey, where you going?
1049
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:04,633
- Home.
1050
00:58:04,633 --> 00:58:05,466
- Home?
1051
00:58:06,566 --> 00:58:07,400
You tricked me.
1052
00:58:08,466 --> 00:58:09,733
That wench.
1053
00:58:09,733 --> 00:58:12,133
(soft music)
1054
00:58:14,433 --> 00:58:17,500
♪ Far away
1055
00:58:17,500 --> 00:58:22,500
♪ I watched you til the stars came out at night ♪
1056
00:58:23,966 --> 00:58:27,866
♪ How I wish that I could hold you tight, mm-hmm ♪
1057
00:58:29,166 --> 00:58:34,166
♪ But it was just a dream
1058
00:58:35,300 --> 00:58:38,233
♪ From far away
1059
00:58:38,233 --> 00:58:43,200
♪ You took my heart and soul and left me here ♪
1060
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:48,200
♪ All I wanted was to feel you near ♪
1061
00:58:49,433 --> 00:58:53,433
♪ I know that we were meant to be ♪
1062
00:58:56,266 --> 00:58:59,033
♪ Gotta be close to you
1063
00:58:59,033 --> 00:59:04,033
♪ Girl, I'll be close to you
1064
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:06,700
♪ My heart's open
1065
00:59:06,700 --> 00:59:10,333
♪ Gotta be close to you
1066
00:59:10,333 --> 00:59:13,766
♪ I seem to be your last
1067
00:59:15,766 --> 00:59:18,200
(soft music)
1068
00:59:23,966 --> 00:59:27,533
(man on TV shouting)
1069
00:59:27,533 --> 00:59:28,900
- [Man] Here, mousy, mousy.
1070
00:59:30,966 --> 00:59:33,666
- House payment.
1071
00:59:33,666 --> 00:59:34,500
Remote.
1072
00:59:35,933 --> 00:59:36,766
Jacuzzi.
1073
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,033
Bill.
1074
00:59:41,966 --> 00:59:42,866
On clothes.
1075
00:59:45,033 --> 00:59:45,866
Pharmacy.
1076
00:59:47,633 --> 00:59:48,966
Garage addition.
1077
00:59:50,033 --> 00:59:52,200
And the credit card balance.
1078
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,600
Garage additions.
1079
00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:56,800
Ha ha, that's power.
1080
00:59:58,966 --> 00:59:59,800
Phone.
1081
01:00:00,966 --> 01:00:04,833
And jewelry, and the satellite station.
1082
01:00:04,833 --> 01:00:07,100
(mumbling)
1083
01:00:07,966 --> 01:00:09,633
We can do it.
1084
01:00:09,633 --> 01:00:12,000
- [Man On TV] Tonight on Pastor Bob's Christian Theater,
1085
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:17,000
Satan meets Jesse Helms, following the news at 11.
1086
01:00:17,733 --> 01:00:19,200
- Yeah, yeah, hello.
1087
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,866
Tell me what's the largest size swimming pool you've got?
1088
01:00:31,233 --> 01:00:32,300
- How'd you get in?
1089
01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:33,133
- Walked.
1090
01:00:39,933 --> 01:00:41,866
So, how'd it go?
1091
01:00:41,866 --> 01:00:43,500
- Great.
1092
01:00:43,500 --> 01:00:45,166
- You don't seem so excited.
1093
01:00:45,166 --> 01:00:46,433
- [Alex] I'm hungover.
1094
01:00:46,433 --> 01:00:48,633
- Wow, got her drunk and banged away, huh?
1095
01:00:49,866 --> 01:00:53,200
- I don't remember, but I don't think so.
1096
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:55,233
- But you got in some soft action, didn't you?
1097
01:00:56,333 --> 01:00:57,133
- Yeah.
1098
01:00:58,066 --> 01:00:59,866
- Well, tell me the details.
1099
01:01:00,900 --> 01:01:02,633
- We just fooled around a little.
1100
01:01:02,633 --> 01:01:04,433
- Did you get your hand on it?
1101
01:01:04,433 --> 01:01:06,833
- Don't drill me about it, okay?
1102
01:01:06,833 --> 01:01:07,866
- You didn't get any.
1103
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:10,433
You didn't even try to tape it.
1104
01:01:18,966 --> 01:01:21,133
(sighing)
1105
01:01:26,733 --> 01:01:31,000
Look, man, don't feel so bad about not scoring.
1106
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,100
It was your first try.
1107
01:01:33,233 --> 01:01:36,200
Hey, try again, take her out tonight.
1108
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,533
- I can't, she's working at the annual
1109
01:01:38,533 --> 01:01:40,633
Civitron costume party.
1110
01:01:40,633 --> 01:01:42,733
- [Nicholas] What the hell is that?
1111
01:01:42,733 --> 01:01:45,466
- Some dippy organization that people join.
1112
01:01:45,466 --> 01:01:47,866
All the town's deep pockets go.
1113
01:01:47,866 --> 01:01:50,166
- Hey, we gotta get that camera from Richard's today.
1114
01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:51,466
Where do you wanna move it?
1115
01:01:54,466 --> 01:01:56,666
Don't give up so easily on ole Sally.
1116
01:01:58,133 --> 01:02:00,766
Go to the party, and get her off to the side somewhere.
1117
01:02:01,933 --> 01:02:03,600
- How do I do that?
1118
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,633
- It's a costume party, stupid, dress up.
1119
01:02:13,833 --> 01:02:15,300
Hey, Alex, is there a way to get
1120
01:02:15,300 --> 01:02:17,466
eight by 10 pictures made from these tapes?
1121
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:20,233
Huh, Alex?
1122
01:02:20,233 --> 01:02:21,866
- Wow, that's it!
1123
01:02:21,866 --> 01:02:23,933
You just solved all our problems.
1124
01:02:23,933 --> 01:02:25,400
- Eight by 10s?
1125
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:27,433
- No, stupid, you're going to that costume party,
1126
01:02:27,433 --> 01:02:29,400
and we got a ton of work to do.
1127
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:33,466
- I definitely have to make a best-of reel.
1128
01:02:33,466 --> 01:02:36,133
These girls are beautiful.
1129
01:02:36,133 --> 01:02:38,433
- Now you go retrieve the camera while I plan.
1130
01:02:41,466 --> 01:02:42,933
Well, get going, huh?
1131
01:02:46,666 --> 01:02:49,466
- This is a warmup number.
1132
01:02:50,633 --> 01:02:53,900
ODC, real new, warm bus (screaming).
1133
01:02:56,466 --> 01:02:59,733
It's time for the dead thorax.
1134
01:02:59,733 --> 01:03:02,300
(upbeat music)
1135
01:03:05,633 --> 01:03:09,133
(crowd chattering)
1136
01:03:09,133 --> 01:03:11,700
(upbeat music)
1137
01:03:21,233 --> 01:03:23,500
♪ We did all the standards
1138
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:28,333
♪ To ensure the less qualified
1139
01:03:28,333 --> 01:03:30,866
♪ Local talent was there
1140
01:03:30,866 --> 01:03:33,100
♪ Made it weak
1141
01:03:33,100 --> 01:03:36,533
♪ Headed straight for us
1142
01:03:44,666 --> 01:03:48,366
- Hello, Mr. Bombarger, this is Mrs. Charles Raymond,
1143
01:03:48,366 --> 01:03:50,933
Margaret, I'm sorry to bother you,
1144
01:03:50,933 --> 01:03:53,200
but I think we have a problem.
1145
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:55,866
Yes, the band you sent doesn't play jazz.
1146
01:03:55,866 --> 01:03:56,733
They play shit.
1147
01:03:57,900 --> 01:03:59,166
What?
1148
01:03:59,166 --> 01:04:00,666
Well of course I know what I'm talking about.
1149
01:04:00,666 --> 01:04:04,400
I was president of the Civitron Music Club for nine years.
1150
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:05,233
Listen.
1151
01:04:08,166 --> 01:04:09,233
Oh.
1152
01:04:09,233 --> 01:04:12,233
(upbeat rock music)
1153
01:04:40,133 --> 01:04:43,066
(doorbell ringing)
1154
01:04:45,133 --> 01:04:46,233
- [Margaret] Well, come in.
1155
01:04:47,100 --> 01:04:50,100
(upbeat rock music)
1156
01:05:08,900 --> 01:05:11,466
- [Nicholas] I'm gonna get you.
1157
01:05:13,733 --> 01:05:15,266
- Who's in there?
1158
01:05:15,266 --> 01:05:17,866
- [Nicholas] It's a surprise.
1159
01:05:17,866 --> 01:05:19,100
- Well, okay.
1160
01:05:19,100 --> 01:05:22,100
(upbeat rock music)
1161
01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:40,600
(muffled rock music)
1162
01:05:46,300 --> 01:05:48,900
- Okay, men, circumcise your watches.
1163
01:05:48,900 --> 01:05:50,400
- 10:19. - 10:15.
1164
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:51,700
- Right, see you later.
1165
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:55,866
(muffled rock music)
1166
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:03,233
(upbeat music)
1167
01:06:03,233 --> 01:06:04,633
♪ Boom boom, bang bang
1168
01:06:04,633 --> 01:06:05,966
♪ Look out, here it comes again ♪
1169
01:06:05,966 --> 01:06:07,700
♪ You can't stop, the way it flows ♪
1170
01:06:07,700 --> 01:06:11,766
♪ It never knows why it goes
1171
01:06:11,766 --> 01:06:16,766
♪ You can never take the time to stop for one ♪
1172
01:06:17,766 --> 01:06:20,366
(upbeat music)
1173
01:06:38,666 --> 01:06:40,600
(tires squealing)
1174
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:42,500
- [Jenny] Hey, buddy, watch it.
1175
01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:43,933
- [Richard] Hey, come here, come here.
1176
01:06:43,933 --> 01:06:45,766
- Listen, I don't work the streets.
1177
01:06:45,766 --> 01:06:47,133
- Hey, take it easy.
1178
01:06:47,133 --> 01:06:48,400
- I'm working my way through college.
1179
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:50,200
I charge an outrageous amount because I care
1180
01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:51,733
and I'm the best in town.
1181
01:06:51,733 --> 01:06:53,733
I just do straight sex, no S&M, no water sports, no--
1182
01:06:53,733 --> 01:06:55,533
- Hey, give me a break.
1183
01:06:55,533 --> 01:06:58,000
Let me explain, it's not what you think.
1184
01:06:59,000 --> 01:06:59,866
- Are you sure?
1185
01:07:01,066 --> 01:07:01,900
- Trust me.
1186
01:07:03,433 --> 01:07:04,233
Come on.
1187
01:07:05,466 --> 01:07:06,300
- Okay.
1188
01:07:20,033 --> 01:07:24,566
♪ Would rather be there
1189
01:07:24,566 --> 01:07:28,800
♪ I would like to be in there
1190
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:31,400
(upbeat music)
1191
01:07:39,100 --> 01:07:41,666
- Hurry, someone's coming.
1192
01:07:41,666 --> 01:07:44,666
♪ I would rather be
1193
01:07:47,433 --> 01:07:49,866
(chattering)
1194
01:08:01,066 --> 01:08:03,433
- My, a soldier.
1195
01:08:03,433 --> 01:08:04,266
(imitating gunfire)
1196
01:08:04,266 --> 01:08:05,233
And a?
1197
01:08:05,233 --> 01:08:06,166
- A prostitute.
1198
01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:08,433
- [Margaret] Right, wonderful.
1199
01:08:08,433 --> 01:08:09,266
Come in.
1200
01:08:11,733 --> 01:08:14,133
(whistling)
1201
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:16,600
(upbeat music)
1202
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:18,133
- Hey, the government's got a billon dollars
1203
01:08:18,133 --> 01:08:21,200
of this white magic stored away in this CD caves.
1204
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:22,633
If you're gonna survive a big blast,
1205
01:08:22,633 --> 01:08:24,100
you better learn to like this stuff.
1206
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,266
- I think you're getting opium mixed up with cocaine.
1207
01:08:26,266 --> 01:08:28,033
It's opium in the CD caves.
1208
01:08:29,466 --> 01:08:31,900
Besides, it's not for pain anway, it's for suicide.
1209
01:08:32,866 --> 01:08:33,800
- Really?
1210
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:34,866
- Yeah.
1211
01:08:34,866 --> 01:08:36,000
- Oh.
1212
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:36,833
- Thanks anyway.
1213
01:08:38,233 --> 01:08:39,233
- Sure, sure.
1214
01:08:42,666 --> 01:08:44,866
♪ Time is free
1215
01:08:44,866 --> 01:08:46,533
♪ Boom boom bang bang
1216
01:08:46,533 --> 01:08:50,400
♪ Look out, here it comes again ♪
1217
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:53,633
(upbeat music)
1218
01:08:53,633 --> 01:08:55,733
(snorting)
1219
01:08:55,733 --> 01:08:58,300
(upbeat music)
1220
01:09:08,366 --> 01:09:10,600
(thudding)
1221
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:14,400
- Wow, good shit.
1222
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:18,200
(upbeat music)
1223
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:25,433
(shouting)
1224
01:09:32,466 --> 01:09:35,066
(upbeat music)
1225
01:09:54,066 --> 01:09:56,466
(chattering)
1226
01:10:03,100 --> 01:10:04,000
- Thank you, dear.
1227
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:09,833
Whew.
1228
01:10:12,900 --> 01:10:15,600
- So, um, how's business?
1229
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:17,266
- It picks up during the furniture market.
1230
01:10:17,266 --> 01:10:18,733
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
1231
01:10:18,733 --> 01:10:20,833
- I sold a dining room table just the other week.
1232
01:10:20,833 --> 01:10:23,533
- Oh, oh, Alex, Jenny.
1233
01:10:23,533 --> 01:10:24,700
Jenny, uh.
1234
01:10:24,700 --> 01:10:25,600
- Alex.
1235
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:26,533
- Yeah, right.
1236
01:10:26,533 --> 01:10:27,366
- Hello, Alex, nice to meet you.
1237
01:10:27,366 --> 01:10:28,633
- Hello.
1238
01:10:28,633 --> 01:10:30,766
- Excuse me, somebody's gonna be looking for me.
1239
01:10:37,266 --> 01:10:38,100
- Richard?
1240
01:10:40,233 --> 01:10:41,033
Richard?
1241
01:10:47,166 --> 01:10:48,766
Richard.
1242
01:10:48,766 --> 01:10:50,566
- [Richard] Enemy attack from the rear.
1243
01:10:52,033 --> 01:10:54,400
(chattering)
1244
01:11:00,233 --> 01:11:01,966
- Oh, excuse me.
1245
01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:03,800
- That's quite all right.
1246
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:06,000
- Could you tell me where the bathroom is?
1247
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:07,933
- Right around that corner, and then a right
1248
01:11:07,933 --> 01:11:08,866
and then a left and--
1249
01:11:08,866 --> 01:11:10,266
- Sorry, but I'm dyslexic.
1250
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:12,333
I can't tell my left from my right.
1251
01:11:12,333 --> 01:11:13,333
Could you show me?
1252
01:11:14,433 --> 01:11:15,600
- Sure.
1253
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:18,033
(chattering)
1254
01:11:20,233 --> 01:11:22,066
- [Nicholas] Ooh, ooh.
1255
01:11:23,266 --> 01:11:24,466
- [Mr. White] Excuse us.
1256
01:11:25,666 --> 01:11:28,866
- [Nicholas] Please cut in front of me.
1257
01:11:31,233 --> 01:11:33,833
- I still gotta go, how about upstairs?
1258
01:11:33,833 --> 01:11:34,933
- Sure.
1259
01:11:34,933 --> 01:11:36,500
Sure, come on.
1260
01:11:36,500 --> 01:11:39,066
(upbeat music)
1261
01:11:45,133 --> 01:11:45,966
It's right over there.
1262
01:11:45,966 --> 01:11:47,466
- Thanks.
1263
01:11:47,466 --> 01:11:49,100
Oh, you can't leave.
1264
01:11:49,100 --> 01:11:51,266
I'll not find my way back.
1265
01:11:51,266 --> 01:11:52,333
- Okay, come on.
1266
01:11:58,033 --> 01:12:00,433
It's right in there.
1267
01:12:00,433 --> 01:12:02,100
- Now sit down.
1268
01:12:02,100 --> 01:12:03,600
- Frank.
1269
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:06,500
- Frank, now I'm Jenny, and I'll be just a minute.
1270
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:09,966
(upbeat music)
1271
01:12:14,666 --> 01:12:16,833
- Uh, waiting on the john.
1272
01:12:27,866 --> 01:12:30,366
(upbeat music)
1273
01:12:30,366 --> 01:12:32,800
(chattering)
1274
01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:38,966
(upbeat music)
1275
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:42,900
♪ Bunch of peacocks
1276
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:45,900
♪ Can't take umbrage
1277
01:12:45,900 --> 01:12:50,900
♪ Civic duties can be tarnished ♪
1278
01:12:51,700 --> 01:12:53,200
♪ Way too clean
1279
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,966
♪ Those cities
1280
01:12:55,966 --> 01:12:58,300
♪ Just to be
1281
01:12:58,300 --> 01:13:00,233
♪ Hypnotized
1282
01:13:00,233 --> 01:13:01,733
- Here. - Thanks.
1283
01:13:04,333 --> 01:13:06,266
- Alex, who are you taking
1284
01:13:06,266 --> 01:13:08,433
to the homecoming dance next week?
1285
01:13:08,433 --> 01:13:10,433
- I haven't thought about it.
1286
01:13:10,433 --> 01:13:12,600
- Now let's take these off.
1287
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:15,166
(upbeat music)
1288
01:13:18,300 --> 01:13:20,233
- You weren't gonna go, were you?
1289
01:13:20,233 --> 01:13:21,066
- Not really.
1290
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:24,600
That should work long enough for what we need.
1291
01:13:27,100 --> 01:13:30,433
- If you had someone to go with, would you go?
1292
01:13:32,766 --> 01:13:33,600
- Maybe.
1293
01:13:34,633 --> 01:13:36,100
I don't really like to dance.
1294
01:13:37,866 --> 01:13:38,700
Who's taking you?
1295
01:13:40,033 --> 01:13:41,333
- [Sally] I haven't been asked yet.
1296
01:13:41,333 --> 01:13:42,533
- Really?
1297
01:13:42,533 --> 01:13:44,266
I heard Chuck Sugar was taking you.
1298
01:13:45,233 --> 01:13:46,766
I mean, it's the most obvious.
1299
01:13:46,766 --> 01:13:49,833
He's a football player, a senior.
1300
01:13:49,833 --> 01:13:50,966
And he probably even--
1301
01:13:50,966 --> 01:13:52,600
- I'm not interested in all that.
1302
01:13:56,600 --> 01:14:00,200
- Hey look, I'm really sorry about the other night,
1303
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,733
not holding my liquor and everything.
1304
01:14:01,733 --> 01:14:03,466
- Oh, that's okay.
1305
01:14:03,466 --> 01:14:05,066
Happens to the best of us.
1306
01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:08,233
- I really had a good time, though.
1307
01:14:08,233 --> 01:14:09,100
- So did I.
1308
01:14:09,100 --> 01:14:11,666
(upbeat music)
1309
01:14:16,666 --> 01:14:18,233
- Hey.
1310
01:14:18,233 --> 01:14:19,633
I got an idea.
1311
01:14:19,633 --> 01:14:20,466
- What?
1312
01:14:22,166 --> 01:14:23,666
- Let's run away together.
1313
01:14:23,666 --> 01:14:24,666
- Where?
1314
01:14:24,666 --> 01:14:26,400
- Doesn't matter where.
1315
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:27,833
- Yes it does, where?
1316
01:14:29,333 --> 01:14:32,200
Don't kiss me to change the subject.
1317
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:33,033
- Okay.
1318
01:14:34,366 --> 01:14:36,033
How about, uh
1319
01:14:36,033 --> 01:14:36,833
Dallas?
1320
01:14:37,833 --> 01:14:39,433
- It's too hot.
1321
01:14:39,433 --> 01:14:42,033
- New York? - Too crowded.
1322
01:14:42,033 --> 01:14:43,433
- Florida?
1323
01:14:43,433 --> 01:14:45,500
- Too many fags and raisins.
1324
01:14:46,433 --> 01:14:48,766
- Where then, Marilyn, where?
1325
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:52,600
- How about
1326
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:54,466
Washington, DC?
1327
01:14:54,466 --> 01:14:56,200
- Washington, DC (laughs)?
1328
01:14:58,566 --> 01:15:00,666
Washington, DC?
1329
01:15:00,666 --> 01:15:02,166
- Well do you have any better ideas?
1330
01:15:02,166 --> 01:15:03,533
- I just gave you three good ones.
1331
01:15:03,533 --> 01:15:05,600
- Please, don't shout, honey.
1332
01:15:08,833 --> 01:15:10,900
We can't agree on anything anymore.
1333
01:15:12,133 --> 01:15:13,400
Except sex.
1334
01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:15,566
- Yeah, well at least we agree on something.
1335
01:15:17,200 --> 01:15:19,800
(upbeat music)
1336
01:15:54,533 --> 01:15:57,100
(upbeat music)
1337
01:15:58,933 --> 01:16:00,366
- Daddy! - Jesus.
1338
01:16:01,633 --> 01:16:04,233
(upbeat music)
1339
01:16:07,133 --> 01:16:07,933
- Richard.
1340
01:16:08,833 --> 01:16:10,533
- Oh my God, my father.
1341
01:16:10,533 --> 01:16:11,933
- Did nobody tell her?
1342
01:16:11,933 --> 01:16:13,500
- I can't believe it.
1343
01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:15,333
- It's getting a little crowded in here.
1344
01:16:15,333 --> 01:16:16,400
- So?
1345
01:16:16,400 --> 01:16:18,633
(laughing)
1346
01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:22,266
(upbeat music)
1347
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:41,566
(pool balls breaking)
1348
01:16:41,566 --> 01:16:44,033
- Yeah, I guess I'm fairly happy.
1349
01:16:44,033 --> 01:16:45,200
Frank's all right.
1350
01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,300
I mean, he's got his problems,
1351
01:16:47,300 --> 01:16:49,133
but they're not too awfully bad.
1352
01:16:51,100 --> 01:16:54,233
- Well sometimes it can be a problem.
1353
01:16:54,233 --> 01:16:55,500
- Your shot.
1354
01:16:55,500 --> 01:16:56,633
- Oh right, yeah.
1355
01:17:05,133 --> 01:17:06,833
A real bad problem.
1356
01:17:08,100 --> 01:17:10,366
Hell, I'm still real young and Frank,
1357
01:17:11,533 --> 01:17:14,600
he's got his mind on other things.
1358
01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:16,700
- You're very attractive, Mrs. White.
1359
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:18,333
It certainly can't be your fault.
1360
01:17:19,233 --> 01:17:20,833
- Well, thank you, Nicholas.
1361
01:17:22,033 --> 01:17:25,466
That's a very nice thing for you to say.
1362
01:17:26,766 --> 01:17:28,533
- I'm a nice guy.
1363
01:17:28,533 --> 01:17:29,333
- Yeah.
1364
01:17:31,733 --> 01:17:32,533
Your shot.
1365
01:17:35,133 --> 01:17:37,733
(upbeat music)
1366
01:17:46,066 --> 01:17:48,666
- I really wish there was some way I could help you.
1367
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:52,233
- Let's go, Nick.
1368
01:17:52,233 --> 01:17:53,533
- Let me finish this game.
1369
01:17:54,666 --> 01:17:57,166
- No way, man, we're in a real hurry.
1370
01:17:57,166 --> 01:17:59,466
Oh, hello, Mrs. White.
1371
01:17:59,466 --> 01:18:00,566
- Hello, Richard.
1372
01:18:02,666 --> 01:18:03,600
- Now, Nicholas.
1373
01:18:05,366 --> 01:18:06,200
Let's go.
1374
01:18:19,733 --> 01:18:22,633
- [Singer] On guitar and sitar, Mr. Lamar Metcalfe,
1375
01:18:22,633 --> 01:18:25,166
the brother of Lincoln Metcalfe.
1376
01:18:25,166 --> 01:18:27,433
(laughing)
1377
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:29,266
(engine starting)
1378
01:18:29,266 --> 01:18:30,100
- Wait a minute.
1379
01:18:31,733 --> 01:18:32,733
You almost forgot this.
1380
01:18:32,733 --> 01:18:33,666
- Thanks.
1381
01:18:33,666 --> 01:18:34,400
- Now hurry. - Okay.
1382
01:18:40,900 --> 01:18:43,066
- Hey wait a minute, how we gonna get home?
1383
01:18:43,066 --> 01:18:44,133
- Gosh, I don't know.
1384
01:18:45,533 --> 01:18:47,366
- Can you believe my ma said this is a boring party?
1385
01:18:50,266 --> 01:18:52,833
- Where is my damn ride?
1386
01:18:52,833 --> 01:18:54,000
Wait a minute.
1387
01:18:59,433 --> 01:19:00,766
- I like your dress.
1388
01:19:00,766 --> 01:19:01,766
- Thank you.
1389
01:19:01,766 --> 01:19:04,766
(crickets chirping)
1390
01:19:07,433 --> 01:19:10,100
(horns honking)
1391
01:19:11,433 --> 01:19:14,700
- Jesus H. Christ, my feet are killing me.
1392
01:19:14,700 --> 01:19:17,700
You kids take care of your feet, whatever you do.
1393
01:19:17,700 --> 01:19:20,500
Do you realize I stand all day?
1394
01:19:20,500 --> 01:19:22,500
Well, nearly anyway.
1395
01:19:22,500 --> 01:19:24,333
- You know, you oughta try soaking
1396
01:19:24,333 --> 01:19:26,500
your feet in baking soda bath.
1397
01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:29,133
My wife works as a clerk down at Park and Shop.
1398
01:19:29,133 --> 01:19:31,133
She's gotta bathe her feet every night.
1399
01:19:32,300 --> 01:19:35,533
But you got a nerve in your foot, you know,
1400
01:19:35,533 --> 01:19:37,800
for every major organ in your body.
1401
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:39,300
- You're kidding?
1402
01:19:39,300 --> 01:19:41,366
- No, put your foot up here, let me show you something.
1403
01:19:42,666 --> 01:19:46,133
Uh, right here's your whatever.
1404
01:19:46,133 --> 01:19:47,600
- Mm-hmm.
1405
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:51,166
- And uh, this is, this is your heart here, right there.
1406
01:19:51,166 --> 01:19:54,200
And then up here, that's your lower back, right there.
1407
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:56,766
- Oh, that feels good.
1408
01:19:56,766 --> 01:19:57,966
- You have back problems?
1409
01:19:57,966 --> 01:19:58,866
- Sometimes.
1410
01:19:59,900 --> 01:20:00,933
Hey, turn up here.
1411
01:20:02,766 --> 01:20:05,066
- Pretty high class, what's your old man do?
1412
01:20:06,133 --> 01:20:06,966
- I live alone.
1413
01:20:10,400 --> 01:20:11,300
- I'll bet you do.
1414
01:20:12,433 --> 01:20:13,700
Up here, huh?
1415
01:20:13,700 --> 01:20:15,700
- Yeah, second on the right.
1416
01:20:19,333 --> 01:20:20,433
- This is it.
1417
01:20:29,266 --> 01:20:30,466
- This is for the kids.
1418
01:20:30,466 --> 01:20:32,233
You make sure they get home okay.
1419
01:20:32,233 --> 01:20:33,300
- No problem, lady.
1420
01:20:50,666 --> 01:20:53,300
(phone dialing)
1421
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:56,333
- Hello, Yellow Cab,
1422
01:20:56,333 --> 01:20:59,200
could you send a car to 1325 Eastview Acres?
1423
01:21:00,566 --> 01:21:01,366
Thank you.
1424
01:21:03,900 --> 01:21:06,466
(horn honking)
1425
01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:10,100
- So I don't know what the answer is.
1426
01:21:10,100 --> 01:21:11,333
If I knew what the answer was, I would be driving
1427
01:21:11,333 --> 01:21:13,700
this fucking cab, I'd be riding in it.
1428
01:21:13,700 --> 01:21:14,733
But I'll tell you the problem,
1429
01:21:14,733 --> 01:21:16,500
one of the problems is credit.
1430
01:21:16,500 --> 01:21:21,133
C-R-E-I-T, credit, that's one of the problems, am I right?
1431
01:21:21,133 --> 01:21:22,633
- Sounds right to me.
1432
01:21:22,633 --> 01:21:24,200
- Yeah, well, I'll tell you, the whole world's screwed up.
1433
01:21:24,200 --> 01:21:26,566
You got the lower class, they're trying to be middle class.
1434
01:21:26,566 --> 01:21:27,833
Then you got the middle class,
1435
01:21:27,833 --> 01:21:29,600
and they're trying to be upper class.
1436
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:31,633
Everybody's going out and buying all this stuff
1437
01:21:31,633 --> 01:21:33,700
and getting all this shit they don't need
1438
01:21:33,700 --> 01:21:35,533
and getting way behind, they don't know what they're doing.
1439
01:21:35,533 --> 01:21:36,766
You know, am I right?
1440
01:21:36,766 --> 01:21:38,266
- Sounds right to me.
1441
01:21:38,266 --> 01:21:40,133
- Yeah, well you kids are the hope of the future.
1442
01:21:40,133 --> 01:21:43,266
- Yeah, but that's what your parents said to you too.
1443
01:21:43,266 --> 01:21:44,733
- Hey, listen, I can get out of this cab
1444
01:21:44,733 --> 01:21:46,400
anytime I want to, I'll just stop it,
1445
01:21:46,400 --> 01:21:48,600
you'll be out on the street, that's where you'll be.
1446
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:49,866
That's the truth.
1447
01:21:49,866 --> 01:21:51,300
I serve, just like everybody else,
1448
01:21:51,300 --> 01:21:53,433
just like your doctors and your lawyers.
1449
01:21:53,433 --> 01:21:55,066
Where's the block?
1450
01:21:55,066 --> 01:21:57,100
- Oh, you turn up here and the first light.
1451
01:21:57,100 --> 01:21:57,900
- Yeah.
1452
01:21:59,666 --> 01:22:02,633
(brakes squealing)
1453
01:22:02,633 --> 01:22:05,466
(engine starting)
1454
01:22:10,066 --> 01:22:13,066
(crickets chirping)
1455
01:22:32,300 --> 01:22:35,066
(Alex chuckling)
1456
01:22:44,500 --> 01:22:45,700
- Here you are.
1457
01:22:45,700 --> 01:22:48,700
(crickets chirping)
1458
01:22:51,500 --> 01:22:53,233
- Well, night.
1459
01:22:53,233 --> 01:22:56,200
(crickets chirping)
1460
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:40,966
(horn honking)
1461
01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:46,900
- Hello, wimp.
1462
01:23:48,866 --> 01:23:51,266
(struggling)
1463
01:23:54,433 --> 01:23:56,233
- [Alex] She's mine now, understand?
1464
01:23:57,366 --> 01:23:58,500
(laughing)
1465
01:23:58,500 --> 01:24:00,900
(gun firing)
1466
01:24:06,966 --> 01:24:09,566
(ball falling)
1467
01:24:14,100 --> 01:24:15,433
- Go ahead, make your shot.
1468
01:24:16,900 --> 01:24:20,233
And then I've got a big surprise for you.
1469
01:24:24,100 --> 01:24:25,900
(balls colliding)
1470
01:24:25,900 --> 01:24:26,800
- Ooh.
1471
01:24:28,100 --> 01:24:28,933
Frank?
1472
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:32,133
Oh.
1473
01:24:37,200 --> 01:24:38,366
(birds calling)
1474
01:24:38,366 --> 01:24:40,933
(bell tolling)
1475
01:24:42,866 --> 01:24:47,300
- When I say sin, you know what I'm talking about.
1476
01:24:47,300 --> 01:24:50,766
I'm talking about teenage pregnancy.
1477
01:24:50,766 --> 01:24:54,166
I'm talking about juvenile delinquency.
1478
01:24:54,166 --> 01:24:59,066
I'm talking about child porno-ography.
1479
01:24:59,066 --> 01:25:02,500
I'm talking about prayer in public rest rooms.
1480
01:25:02,500 --> 01:25:06,166
I'm talking about sexual license.
1481
01:25:06,166 --> 01:25:10,033
I'm talking about sex without a license.
1482
01:25:10,033 --> 01:25:14,600
I'm talking about unlawful fornication.
1483
01:25:14,600 --> 01:25:18,400
I'm talking about animal husbandry.
1484
01:25:19,666 --> 01:25:23,833
I'm talking about pornographic motion pictures.
1485
01:25:23,833 --> 01:25:26,300
I'm talking about the filthy depths
1486
01:25:26,300 --> 01:25:28,566
of disgusting degradation.
1487
01:25:29,966 --> 01:25:34,666
And it's all right here, in this inspirational book.
1488
01:25:36,100 --> 01:25:39,433
Available this week only from the Transparent Tabernacle,
1489
01:25:39,433 --> 01:25:42,966
in care of this television station.
1490
01:25:42,966 --> 01:25:45,600
It's a magnificent 72-page volume
1491
01:25:45,600 --> 01:25:47,866
in deluxe cardboard binding.
1492
01:25:47,866 --> 01:25:52,033
A book you'll wish you could treasure for years to come.
1493
01:25:52,033 --> 01:25:53,800
And it's absolutely free.
1494
01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:57,666
Just 14.95 to cover postage and handling costs.
1495
01:25:57,666 --> 01:25:59,866
It's a book you won't wanna miss,
1496
01:25:59,866 --> 01:26:02,666
because it's been helpful for thousands,
1497
01:26:02,666 --> 01:26:05,333
and that's not counting the sales tax.
1498
01:26:05,333 --> 01:26:08,066
You know, our toll-free prayer lines here
1499
01:26:08,066 --> 01:26:11,266
at the Transparent Tabernacle are always ringing
1500
01:26:11,266 --> 01:26:14,300
with testimonials and witnesses.
1501
01:26:14,300 --> 01:26:17,066
Why, just yesterday, I had a personal call
1502
01:26:17,066 --> 01:26:19,233
from one of our leading citizens,
1503
01:26:19,233 --> 01:26:22,633
who told me how much this book had helped him.
1504
01:26:22,633 --> 01:26:25,633
He had not only been cured of his cancer,
1505
01:26:25,633 --> 01:26:26,533
but in just two--
1506
01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:30,533
(birds chirping)
1507
01:27:00,966 --> 01:27:03,166
- So those are our demands.
1508
01:27:03,166 --> 01:27:05,766
Money, plus allowing me to finish school
1509
01:27:05,766 --> 01:27:06,933
here at St. Benedict's.
1510
01:27:08,066 --> 01:27:10,533
And not to be sent back to Harrelson School.
1511
01:27:10,533 --> 01:27:12,633
- Well, I personally wanna thank you
1512
01:27:12,633 --> 01:27:14,633
for what you've done for my husband.
1513
01:27:14,633 --> 01:27:18,433
You've cured a long-standing problems of his, and ours.
1514
01:27:18,433 --> 01:27:21,233
I don't agree with your methods, but the end result
1515
01:27:21,233 --> 01:27:24,166
is positive, so I'll overlook the reason for now.
1516
01:27:25,300 --> 01:27:27,866
We're both overjoyed at his recovery.
1517
01:27:27,866 --> 01:27:28,700
- Really?
1518
01:27:29,866 --> 01:27:31,333
- Oh, but we'll pay you for this.
1519
01:27:31,333 --> 01:27:33,133
- We were paying outrageous amounts
1520
01:27:33,133 --> 01:27:35,533
to doctors with no results at all.
1521
01:27:35,533 --> 01:27:36,966
- You're kidding.
1522
01:27:36,966 --> 01:27:39,766
- And we'd like to rent a camera and a monitor on our own.
1523
01:27:39,766 --> 01:27:41,033
- Gladys?
1524
01:27:41,033 --> 01:27:43,766
- Well, it would be fun, now wouldn't it, honey?
1525
01:27:43,766 --> 01:27:45,200
- Mm.
1526
01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:46,033
- No.
1527
01:27:55,700 --> 01:27:57,100
- [Mr. White On PA] Will the students who are believed
1528
01:27:57,100 --> 01:27:59,033
to have participated in the scheme to park
1529
01:27:59,033 --> 01:28:01,233
the giant sex organ float in the front yard
1530
01:28:01,233 --> 01:28:03,666
of the St. Mary's Girls School last night
1531
01:28:03,666 --> 01:28:05,366
please meet me in the gym?
1532
01:28:06,233 --> 01:28:08,666
(chattering)
1533
01:28:18,500 --> 01:28:19,800
- Do you see that?
1534
01:28:20,900 --> 01:28:21,733
Huh?
1535
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:23,833
Do you see her bend over?
1536
01:28:25,966 --> 01:28:27,333
You weren't even watching.
1537
01:28:29,666 --> 01:28:30,600
(whistle chirping)
1538
01:28:30,600 --> 01:28:31,600
- That's it for today, girls.
1539
01:28:33,433 --> 01:28:34,900
Do you know that you're doing a good job.
1540
01:28:34,900 --> 01:28:35,933
I'm very very happy with you.
1541
01:28:35,933 --> 01:28:37,333
- See you, Daddy.
1542
01:28:39,666 --> 01:28:41,500
- She give you that?
1543
01:28:41,500 --> 01:28:42,700
- Marilyn gave it to me.
1544
01:28:49,533 --> 01:28:51,166
- Man, you got it bad.
1545
01:28:53,700 --> 01:28:55,500
- Hey, guess where Richard and I are eloping to
1546
01:28:55,500 --> 01:28:56,833
after the homecoming dance tonight.
1547
01:28:56,833 --> 01:28:58,266
- Where? - Yeah, where?
1548
01:28:58,266 --> 01:28:59,433
- Des Moines, Iowa.
1549
01:28:59,433 --> 01:29:01,733
- Des Moines, Iowa? - Yeah.
1550
01:29:01,733 --> 01:29:03,166
- But that means that Richard's gonna give up
1551
01:29:03,166 --> 01:29:05,733
the apartment, and I gotta go back to the home.
1552
01:29:05,733 --> 01:29:07,066
- No, you idiot, we're coming back.
1553
01:29:07,066 --> 01:29:08,533
We're gonna fix the house up real nice
1554
01:29:08,533 --> 01:29:10,033
and we're gonna live in it.
1555
01:29:10,033 --> 01:29:11,966
- You mean no more roaches and moldy plates and dirt and--
1556
01:29:11,966 --> 01:29:13,166
- Nope.
1557
01:29:13,166 --> 01:29:14,433
Look, I gotta go, I'll see you tonight.
1558
01:29:14,433 --> 01:29:15,533
- Wow, great, bye.
1559
01:29:19,333 --> 01:29:21,233
You gonna take Sally to the dance tonight?
1560
01:29:21,233 --> 01:29:22,200
- I would hope so.
1561
01:29:22,200 --> 01:29:23,633
I did ask her, didn't I?
1562
01:29:23,633 --> 01:29:25,300
- That doesn't mean shit to Chuck Sugar.
1563
01:29:25,300 --> 01:29:28,300
He'll probably break both your legs before the dance.
1564
01:29:28,300 --> 01:29:29,133
- We'll see.
1565
01:29:31,900 --> 01:29:32,733
- [Mr. White] Hello, boys.
1566
01:29:32,733 --> 01:29:33,733
- Oh, hello, Mr. White.
1567
01:29:33,733 --> 01:29:34,900
- Listen, I want you boys to know
1568
01:29:34,900 --> 01:29:36,366
how happy Gladys and I are.
1569
01:29:36,366 --> 01:29:37,566
I can't thank you enough.
1570
01:29:37,566 --> 01:29:38,800
- [Nicholas] Great, that's terrific.
1571
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:40,266
- Oh, and Alex, we'd like to rent
1572
01:29:40,266 --> 01:29:41,633
that camera another week, okay?
1573
01:29:41,633 --> 01:29:43,033
- Sure, no problem, Mr. White.
1574
01:29:43,033 --> 01:29:44,466
- No problem.
1575
01:29:44,466 --> 01:29:46,533
- [Mr. White] Great, you boys enjoy the dance tonight.
1576
01:29:57,300 --> 01:30:00,166
- Bye, I'm off.
1577
01:30:00,166 --> 01:30:02,100
- Hey, you look great.
1578
01:30:02,100 --> 01:30:04,733
- Hey hey, really, ooh, your first homecoming.
1579
01:30:04,733 --> 01:30:05,566
You nervous?
1580
01:30:05,566 --> 01:30:06,400
- Not really.
1581
01:30:06,400 --> 01:30:07,533
- Oh, liar.
1582
01:30:07,533 --> 01:30:08,600
- Drive safely.
1583
01:30:11,300 --> 01:30:12,133
- Did you forget something?
1584
01:30:12,133 --> 01:30:13,400
- I can't go out there.
1585
01:30:13,400 --> 01:30:14,333
- Why not?
1586
01:30:14,333 --> 01:30:15,733
- Chuck Sugar's out there.
1587
01:30:15,733 --> 01:30:17,733
If he sees me go get Sally, he'd kill me.
1588
01:30:17,733 --> 01:30:18,933
- He wouldn't do that.
1589
01:30:18,933 --> 01:30:20,166
- He might try.
1590
01:30:20,166 --> 01:30:22,500
- She'd probably wind up going with him anyway.
1591
01:30:22,500 --> 01:30:23,733
He's more her type.
1592
01:30:23,733 --> 01:30:26,133
- Hey, don't get so fatalistic now.
1593
01:30:26,133 --> 01:30:28,400
If you stand up to him, he's gonna respect you.
1594
01:30:28,400 --> 01:30:29,800
- He's gonna kill me.
1595
01:30:29,800 --> 01:30:32,600
- He's not a bad kid, he's just dumb as hell.
1596
01:30:32,600 --> 01:30:34,900
You just have to know how to handle the type.
1597
01:30:34,900 --> 01:30:36,166
It's all psychological.
1598
01:30:36,166 --> 01:30:37,566
- It's all right, I'll go with him.
1599
01:30:37,566 --> 01:30:39,633
- Alex, have you gone mad?
1600
01:30:39,633 --> 01:30:40,900
- Oh you're right.
1601
01:30:40,900 --> 01:30:42,566
Oh wow, that's not the way to go about it.
1602
01:30:42,566 --> 01:30:43,600
Here, you take it.
1603
01:30:43,600 --> 01:30:44,700
- Give me that gun.
1604
01:30:45,800 --> 01:30:47,200
- What are you doing?
1605
01:30:51,800 --> 01:30:53,833
(sighing)
1606
01:30:53,833 --> 01:30:55,366
(crickets chirping)
1607
01:30:55,366 --> 01:30:57,533
- Hey, that little wimp's headed to his car.
1608
01:30:57,533 --> 01:30:59,766
- He's probably going for some zit medicine.
1609
01:30:59,766 --> 01:31:02,566
(engine starting)
1610
01:31:04,833 --> 01:31:06,433
- Yeah, yeah, I knew it wouldn't be him.
1611
01:31:06,433 --> 01:31:07,700
He doesn't have the guts.
1612
01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:17,966
That prick pulled her into her drive.
1613
01:31:17,966 --> 01:31:19,833
- I didn't think he had a license.
1614
01:31:19,833 --> 01:31:22,300
- Yeah, he got his permit yesterday.
1615
01:31:22,300 --> 01:31:23,200
Watch this.
1616
01:31:35,666 --> 01:31:37,000
(doorbell ringing)
1617
01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:39,766
(engine revving)
1618
01:31:41,166 --> 01:31:42,700
- Sally, it's Chuck.
1619
01:31:42,700 --> 01:31:45,433
(engine revving)
1620
01:31:48,600 --> 01:31:52,233
(doors opening and closing)
1621
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:55,600
- You going somewhere, wimp?
1622
01:31:55,600 --> 01:31:58,166
- Well, uh, I was just going out, and, uh.
1623
01:31:58,166 --> 01:31:59,333
- With her?
1624
01:31:59,333 --> 01:32:00,400
- Her?
1625
01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:02,100
Oh, Sally, yeah.
1626
01:32:03,233 --> 01:32:04,700
You see, Chuck, I don't think she wants
1627
01:32:04,700 --> 01:32:06,200
to go to the dance with you.
1628
01:32:06,200 --> 01:32:08,533
In fact, I don't think she likes you very much.
1629
01:32:08,533 --> 01:32:10,866
- Well why don't you let her decide that, wimp.
1630
01:32:12,333 --> 01:32:14,366
You really wanna go to the dance with me, don't you?
1631
01:32:14,366 --> 01:32:16,733
- Well, not really.
1632
01:32:16,733 --> 01:32:19,733
In fact, you're blocking my driveway right now.
1633
01:32:21,400 --> 01:32:22,800
- So why don't you do what the lady says
1634
01:32:22,800 --> 01:32:24,900
and get your car outta the drive?
1635
01:32:27,233 --> 01:32:29,133
Now, Chuck, don't cause trouble.
1636
01:32:29,133 --> 01:32:30,200
- Come on, wimp.
1637
01:32:37,633 --> 01:32:39,266
Oh, shit.
1638
01:32:39,266 --> 01:32:41,500
(thudding)
1639
01:32:44,066 --> 01:32:45,166
- You all right?
1640
01:32:45,166 --> 01:32:46,266
- Hey, Chuck.
1641
01:32:49,066 --> 01:32:50,700
(tires squealing)
1642
01:32:50,700 --> 01:32:52,033
- You all right?
1643
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:56,966
- You were wonderful, you were great.
1644
01:32:56,966 --> 01:32:57,833
Didn't you see him?
1645
01:32:57,833 --> 01:33:00,133
(laughing)
1646
01:33:01,066 --> 01:33:02,266
Oh God.
1647
01:33:02,266 --> 01:33:04,066
(laughing)
1648
01:33:04,066 --> 01:33:06,933
You were wonderful, Alex, you were wonderful.
1649
01:33:06,933 --> 01:33:10,433
I am so proud of you, I am so proud of you.
1650
01:33:10,433 --> 01:33:13,400
♪ Far away
1651
01:33:13,400 --> 01:33:18,266
♪ I watched you til the stars came out at night ♪
1652
01:33:18,266 --> 01:33:23,266
♪ How I wished that I could hold you tight, mm-hmm ♪
1653
01:33:24,733 --> 01:33:29,733
♪ But it was just a dream
1654
01:33:30,733 --> 01:33:34,066
♪ From far away
1655
01:33:34,066 --> 01:33:39,066
♪ You took my heart and soul and left me here ♪
1656
01:33:40,333 --> 01:33:43,966
♪ All I wanted was to feel you near ♪
1657
01:33:43,966 --> 01:33:48,966
♪ I know that we were meant to be ♪
1658
01:33:51,733 --> 01:33:54,800
♪ Gotta get close to you
1659
01:33:54,800 --> 01:33:56,733
♪ Feel your real desire
1660
01:33:56,733 --> 01:33:59,500
♪ Gotta get close to you
1661
01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:02,100
♪ My heart's on fire
1662
01:34:02,100 --> 01:34:05,766
♪ Gotta get close to you
1663
01:34:05,766 --> 01:34:10,766
♪ I see no reason to be alive
1664
01:34:13,200 --> 01:34:18,200
♪ Love won't let me wait
1665
01:34:19,500 --> 01:34:22,766
♪ Forevermore
1666
01:34:22,766 --> 01:34:24,800
♪ I love you
1667
01:34:24,800 --> 01:34:27,300
♪ Forevermore
1668
01:34:27,300 --> 01:34:29,533
♪ I need you
1669
01:34:29,533 --> 01:34:33,266
♪ Forevermore
1670
01:34:33,266 --> 01:34:35,466
♪ I want you
1671
01:34:35,466 --> 01:34:38,466
♪ Forevermore
1672
01:34:38,466 --> 01:34:41,400
♪ Help me find a way
1673
01:34:41,400 --> 01:34:43,833
(soft music)
1674
01:34:48,933 --> 01:34:52,033
♪ Help me find a way
1675
01:34:59,400 --> 01:35:02,400
♪ Help me find a way
1676
01:35:02,400 --> 01:35:04,833
(soft music)
113589
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