All language subtitles for The Darling Buds of May s03e06 Climb the Greasy Pole 2.eng

So, you went up to no good with this
Winters woman, have you?

No.

Well, at least I... Victoria,

bed.

But I want to hear what Charlie's been
doing with the teacher.

I'm going to count to three. One.

How do you expect me to learn about
life? Two. I have to go up to bed every

something interesting happens. Three.
Now, bed.

One. Good.

Go on, come on, hurry up.

So, you're going to tell us why you
think that Mariette walked out on you?

Well, this person, Miss Winters... Carry
on, Marion.

If I hear one more peep out of you,
there'll be trouble, understand?

Carry on, Marion.

That's a good name, isn't it?

She chases after every man in sight.

She runs a business on the side.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Holiday trips.

She was having a problem with her income
tax.

Well, how did she find out about you?

Well... From me.

You?

Well, I knew Charlie was looking for
freelance work to help buy this brewery.

She said she needed an accountant, so...
So, whilst you were going through her

figures with a fine tooth comb, Mariette
came in just as you were getting to the

bottom line.

I wouldn't put it quite like that,
but...

Yeah, sort of. She was lying on top of
him in the middle of the hop garden.

On top?

Maybe it's not quite as bad as
underneath, but still.

Why did you go and see him in the first
place?

He said Charlie was helping her with her
tax problems.

Well, perhaps that's all there was to
it.

Tom, I saw her. She was kissing him.

But was he kissing her?

Come on, I'll give you a lift home.

I don't want to go home.

You're going back to talk to Charlie.

What's there to talk about?

Well, you won't know until you start.

I've never made any secret of the fact
that I'm very fond of you, Mariette.

But you've got a husband and a baby.

And a problem that needs to be
discussed.

Now, come on.

I suppose that was Tom Sargent.

I think I'd better sleep in here
tonight.

Oh, suit yourself.

And where did you think you were going?

I thought I'd go out and pot something.

What are you going to do about this?

They made a laughing stock of you last
night.

What do you expect me to do, Frieda? I
mean to say... You mean to say what?

Don't leave.

Luckily, everybody realised it was just
a prank by those blasted Larkins.

Still, it shows it's time we took the
gloves off.

Yes. I keep telling you to approach the
brigadier.

He's very influential locally and he's
utterly broke.

You must win him over.

Right.

Mr Larkin's here now. I'm sure you'll
all be very interested in what he has to

say. Hello.

Oh,

well done, Edie. You're a freak.

You done well gathering together a crowd
like this. They're all longing to hear

what you've got to say. Simply longing.

Yeah, well, let's give it a go then,
Edie, shall we?

Let's give it a go.

Mr Larkin will speak now. Perhaps you'd
care to gather round.

Right.

Well, ladies and gentlefolk, you all
know me

and I know you.

Here, here. Thank you, madam.

What I'd like to do is I'd like to ask
you a straight question.

And that is, well, hands up all those
people who want to see a dirty, great,

sand quarry right here, right on their
front doorstep. Come on. How many of

Put your hands up, all those people who
do.

None of you. Good.

Nor do I.

Now then, let's hear it from all those
people who want to keep South Hill just

as it is, an idyllic local beauty spot.

Let's hear it all those... That's it.

That's what we want to know.

Get us a piece of cod and six pen of the
chips, will you, Edith?

Here we go.

Great eggs, friend.

Don't give me any of your lip.

Get out of here.

I understood this to be common ground.

Well, you understood wrong.

Well, according to the local ordinance
map.

That sure is out of date.

Printed last year.

Look, are you going to sling your hook
or are things going to get rough?

We don't want any rough stuff, friend.

If you can find a legal reason why we
shouldn't be here, then show it.

Otherwise, leave us in peace.

You ain't heard the end of this!

Looking everywhere for you.

Hello.

Look, I'm sorry if your wife got annoyed
yesterday.

Yes, well, I couldn't blame her.

I hope you'll still do my tax return and
we can continue to be friends.

Friends, yes.

Good. Hello, Charlie.

Hello, Ma.

I brought John Blenheim to see you.
Here, say hello to Daddy. Hello, John

Blenheim. Who's a good boy, then?

Hello.

I know you, don't I?

I've seen you at the school on Parents'
Day.

To teach my daughter Primrose Larkin.

Yes, that's right.

How do you do, Mrs Larkin?

Well, you'll let me know if you need any
other papers, won't you, Cedric?

Yes.

Cheerio.

Thanks,

Ma.

Just in time.

See those gypsies up back, eh, Harry?

They've got a nerve, haven't they, eh?

Clamping on a common.

Right, not doing anyone any harm, are
they?

Oh, yes.

You'd have them staying on your land
then, would you?

If they want to come, they'd be welcome.

Yeah, kids are lovely.

Chirp your sparrows.

Bunch of little thieves.

You've no reason to say that.

As it happens, I get on very well with
the gypsies.

Another reason not to vote for you.

Well, it's a free country, isn't it? You
don't have to.

Ladies and gentlemen, please.

We're supposed to be playing whist.

This is neither the time nor the place
for barrack room politics.

Mr Larkin will be speaking at the next
parish council meeting and everyone will

have an opportunity to ask him questions
then.

Now, I'm playing clubs.

Sorry, folks.

I've got to go.

I suppose you mean Charlie.

I mean the brewery, really.

Crystal's back in England.

He's here to settle his debts, which
means we'll have to find 3 ,000 quid

goodwill. He's got himself another
buyer.

Our agreement's up on the 30th, so he'll
be free to sell.

Whatever happens, I don't think the bank
will go along with Charlie's scheme.

All sounds a bit too harebrained for
them.

Meanwhile, Charlie and me are working
every blasted hour of the day and not

getting anywhere.

Now we're not even speaking to each
other.

I don't know.

I don't know what to do, Ma.

Well, I'll tell you what you are not
going to do. You are not going to think

about that brewery again till you've had
a good sleep.

Now, I will look after John Blenheim.
Oh, I can't. The bed in your old room's

made up. Come on. Go straight upstairs
like a good girl. Yes, you can.

I'll call you dinner time.

I've got to do the present. No, you
ain't.

I've got to, thank you, miss. You just
do as you're told. Go on.

Mariette.

Are you carrying on with Tom Sargent?

No, Ma.

You're just someone to... Talk to a
friend.

Do you really think Charlie's up to
something with that carry -on Marion?

Well, isn't it all a bit daft?

Someone's got to say sorry.

Where are you going?

Oh, good morning.

I heard you had a spot of bother last
night.

You could say that.

Ramshackle.

I might be able to help you, actually.
Have you heard of a chap called Larkin?

Who? He owns a place down the road, Home
Farm.

He's got stacks of rum.

He said he'd simply love to have you.

What, all of us? Why, of course.

Home farm, you say? That's right.

Half a mile down the road on the left.
You can't miss it.

Good morning.

Right, come on, let's get packed up.

We've got another cat down the road.

Did you say that?

It's called politics, Robert.

Is it?

These chaps are your guarantee for a
place on the rural district council.

Harvey.

When Larkin finds them parked on his
field, he has two alternatives.

Either he lets them stay and will accuse
him of lowering the tone of the

neighborhood, or he turfs them off, in
which case we'll say he's a heartless

brute. Either way, he can't possibly
win.

You do business with that Bristow's
Brewery, don't you?

That's right. More's the pity.

Oh, yeah?

Having trouble getting Michelle out, eh?

Trouble? It's like getting wool off a
tortoise.

When was the last time he coughed up?

I don't know.

When did the Titanic go down?

So you haven't had any money in the last
day or so, then?

Don't make me laugh.

No -one has.

If you're lucky, you get a fiver on
account at Christmas.

mean good news.

Chipsy!

Chipsy!

Chipsy!

Chipsy!

Chipsy!

Chipsy! Chipsy!

Chipsy! Chipsy! Chipsy! Chipsy! Chipsy!

Chipsy!

Had a geezer with a moustache with her.
Looked like a badger.

Captain Battersby.

Are you saying we can't pitch here? No,
no, I'm not saying that.

Come on.

Not yet the counsellor, are you?

Well, trying to, yeah.

So, can we stay or what?

Since you're giving me your full
support, I can hardly refuse.

Hi, George. Hi.

Give us 10 gallons of regular, will you?

And check the tyre, check the oil, check
the radiator, and don't forget, vote

Larkin. Please do.

I think I'll be all right now, Miss
Winters.

Oh, it's very simple, really. Oh, I'm
fascinated by cars, but I know

nothing about them.

Perhaps we could go for a drink one
evening.

And you could tell me all about pistons
and things.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, now, about the bill, I really
must... No, no, no, no. You can buy me a

drink. Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.

Yes.

If you insist.

Thank you.

Thank you?

That's brilliant, that is.

I bet she never pays for a thing.

All in all, you know, Ma, it hasn't been
a bad day.

Yeah, I made a fiver on those old farm
implements I got at the sale.

A fiver for the wheelbarrow and ten quid
on the tractor spare.

Well, I'm going to need some ready cash
for him to start laying his supplies for

winter. All right.

Here, don't get any spuds up, will you?
Mm -hm.

Because... You know that old... No, we
had in the garden? Mm -hm. Well, old Reg

Mantley took a fancy to it. Did he?
Yeah, he did.

And I swapped it. You know what I
swapped it for?

A tin of tractor oil and 200 weight of
King Edward. Oh!

Oh!

Mm.

Oh, this is lovely, this bathroom.

Much, much better than our swimming
pool.

Less fries in here, aren't you?

And can you give half a sack of them
potatoes to Charlie and Mariette?

They need all the help they can get at
the moment.

Well, there's still a big cloud of
depression, is there, over the bungalow?

Yeah.

Well,

Mariette always was hot -headed.

And they're young, see?

Take the time.

Hello, John B.

Hey.

How's my blooming boy, then?

Ma sent over some spuds. We've got a
glut up at the farm.

Thanks, Pop.

No -one seems to have much of an
appetite round here these days.

You and Charlie boy still doing ten
rounds?

Eh?

I'll take it that means yes.

Look, it wasn't me rattling in the hop
garden with Primrose's teacher.

I know, I know, I know, I know.

The thing is, I've just caught a glimpse
of that carry -on Marion lady.

And I reckon that you've got her all
wrong.

Pop, I saw her. She's lying. I know, I
know, I know, I know.

You just hear me out.

Look, she's cleverer than you think.

She's not interested in Charlie, boy.

She's not.

You know what she is?

She's...

Well, sufficient is it to say she's the
sort of woman who uses men to get things

done for nothing.

That's true.

Um... Ladies and gentlemen, my opponent
in this election has

chosen to act as host to a tribe of
gypsies.

Ah, yes.

To a tribe of gypsies.

Hospitable of him, you may say.

No,

out of here. Come on, shoo!

I have nothing against gypsies, so long
as one doesn't have to live next door to

them. Here, here.

Walter.

Um, as long as they don't go around
telling clothes pegs and selling

I think they're going rather well.

You know, I actually saw that man,
Andrews, paying children to scrawl all

Mr. Larkin's post. Oh, that is not
critical. My dear, just the man I'm

for. My husband and I so much want your
advice. Will you spare us a moment?

Really, I was... Robert!

Robert!

You want another one? A bit more?

No? Finished now? All right.

You know, your ma and me, we're very
fond of old Charlie, boy.

When he first came here, you know, as
representative of the inland revenue,

well, we didn't know what to make of
him.

You know, you two, you seemed to hit it
off.

And, well, it was nice.

We were really pleased. We thought,
well,

let's hope they make a go of it.

Because it's not easy, you know.

It's a very difficult marriage.

I think that...

that marriage is a bit like... Well,
it's a bit like buying a new motor car.

You know, you see it and you think,
well, that's it.

It's going to be perfect. It'll stay
like that forever.

But it don't.

It has to go back to the garage every so
often.

And some more than most.

But you and Charlie, you seem to be
getting on all right.

I mean, since you've been together,
you...

You've changed, you've grown up a lot,
and, well, you've given him tremendous

confidence.

So, what I'm trying to say is that you
two, you're not alone, either of you.

You've got a family behind you.

Yeah, I know.

Never lose sight of the ones who love
you.

All right? Yeah.

Good Lord, is that the time?

I'm supposed to be at a meeting in the
village five minutes ago.

Your mouth will be hot.

Bye.

Bye.

Hello, love.

See you, Pop.

By the way, what's the name of that lady
bank manager you went to see?

Diana Parker.

Why?

I don't know. I might need a loan.

The servant was absolutely marvelous.

Tons and tons of top -grade sand just
waiting to be quarried at South Hill.

So Robert and I are floating a company
to develop it. What thinking?

That is, freedom of thinking, which you
might be interested in a directorship.

Not executive, but well remunerated, of
course.

Though I should think that would be the
last thing you'd be worried about,

Brigadier. No, no.

I can probably pop.

Well, I was on my way to Ashford to do a
bit of business and I thought to

myself, well, why don't we go and get
the fireworks like we always do?

Oh, yeah.

To have baked beans on toast in the cafe
in the high street. I'm starving.

Baked beans on toast it is.

It shan't be a tick, Primrose. You stay
here and guard this lot with your life.

You bet I will.

Morning,

Mrs. Dawes.

Morning, Brigadier.

Haven't seen you for a while.

No, but I've been very tied up with all
the selection business.

That's why I've been unable to come in
and settle my account with you.

For which my sincere apologies.

Now, let me see. It was, um... £7 .13
and nine, sir.

Now, get your hands off them fireworks!
You'll be going up in smoke!

Oh, Miss Pilchester!

The patent book you ordered's come in.

Ah, good morning, Miss Pilchester.

And, uh, would you put a couple of
stamps on those envelopes for me?

Oh.

Electric hand telephone.

Yes, well, I've had a lucky windfall.

Now, Miss Wilchester, perhaps you'll
care to join me?

Right,

here we are, then.

Just down the road.

Just a couple of steps.

I'm not sure I should have let you talk
me into coming, Mr Larkin.

Oh, now, come on, Miss P.

You're not changing your mind.

I know that's a lady's privilege.

It's as I said.

I can't help thinking that what you're
proposing is not strictly ethical.

Such matters should be dealt with
through the proper channels.

You know, Miss P...

When I first laid eyes on you, I thought
to myself, now there's a woman who

knows what's what.

There's a woman who's upstanding and
honest.

A woman who wants to see wrongs righted.

Now is not the time for second thoughts.

I mean, you're not going to let that Mr
Bristow get away with cheating on

innocent people, are you?

I wouldn't put it quite as strongly as
that, but... Oh, well.

I must confess to being quite intrigued
by your plan.

Good. Come on, then.

That's the spirit.

So this is it?

Yes. This is Bristow's Best Beers.

Come to think of it, it's not Mr.

Bristow's, is it?

It's practically yours.

It being mortgage, neck -high to the
bank.

Come on.

Hello, Fred.

I didn't know you sold bristos. I don't
know anyone who does.

This lot are only here for a free drink.

Wouldn't surprise me. Hello. Oh, hello.

I'm Ernest Bristow. I don't think I've
had the pleasure.

Larkin, sir. Sidney Larkin.

Are you a landlord, Mr Larkin? Oh, no,
sir. I prefer to stand on the other side

of the counter, me.

Well, help yourself.

I may say the beer has never been
better.

Has it, Tom?

This is Tom Sargent, my chief brewer.

Oh, how do you do, Mr Sargent?

What are you doing here, Mr Larkin? I've
come to buy a brewery. You what?

Hang about, you'll find out.

I'm ready.

We're going to action, aren't we? Oh!

I might find you two here when there's
some beer going.

Mr Bristow, can I have a word, sir?

How can I help? Yeah, um...

My daughter and her husband sold you
some hops earlier in the year. They're

probably the very ones I'm holding at
the moment, sir. And they still haven't

been paid for.

The cheques in the post.

Yes, that's what you said three months
ago.

You probably remember Mr Bill Jackson.
He was saying the same thing. And that

goes for half the tradesmen in this
district.

All in good time.

No, no, I think now's a good time to
talk about it, Mr Bristow. Look, I sent

cheque to my bank.

If they haven't made the payments, it
isn't my fault.

Why don't you discuss it with the
manager?

Now, excuse me.

But we are discussing it in front of
your bank manager. I haven't got time

jokes.

I'm Diana Parker.

We haven't met because you've been
abroad since I was appointed.

Diana? Parker, your new bank manager.

For the last two months.

Ah. And I have to say that as of this
morning, we haven't received a penny

you in settlement of any debts at all,
including overdue interest owing to us.

We own a brewery.

We are a winning team.

Oh, almost forgot.

Put one of these on.

I ran these up last night.

We've got to support the other Larkin
team now. Make sure they win.

Well, we own a brewery now, Charlie.

Sure we can help.

Hey, there's the bus.

You got a saying, Governor?

Hey, oh, yeah.

Something ain't wrong.

I reckon there is.

Oh, yeah?

What's that then?

I'm causing you a lot of trouble.

No? How do you make that out?

You want to win this councillor job,
don't you?

Well, yes.

You'd stand a better chance without
having us camped on your land.

So we've had a talk and decided to move
on.

No, no, no, no, no. I don't want you to
leave.

Why not?

Because it will look as though I've
turfed you out.

And if I thought the only way to get on
the rural district council was to ask

you to leave, well, I'll tell the
council they can stick their job where

monkey puts his nuts.

You can do without getting into any more
fights.

Having your name in the papers.

That's what politics is all about, isn't
it? If you really want to do me a

favour, you stay where you are, all
right?

Well, at least we can give you a hand
with all this lot. Ah, now you're

Yes, I want all this lot and your lot on
the top of my fire.

You've got a meeting tonight?

Yeah, that's right.

At the village hall.

Friends, Romans and earwigs, let me be
your countrymen.

Right, now, ladies and gentlemen, as
most of you know, our last two meetings

to be adjourned because of unseemly
interruptions from the floor.

I trust that nothing of that nature will
occur tonight.

Mr Sidney Larkin.

As Romeo said to Juliet, I have not come
here to make a speech.

No, what I really wanted to say was,
when I first set foot in this part

of the world, I was just a nipper.

Came down from Sidcup with my mum and
dad and my two aunties to go hop

Only toffs and squires missed the hop
-picking.

But I'd never seen nothing like it.

But with the teasing and the chai
-hiking and the back -chat and the eerie

fighting.

Yeah, and the wenching.

It was more than just a couple of weeks'
harvesting. It was... Well, it was a

way of life.

It was warm, it was friendly, it was
earthy.

And I knew from that moment this is
where I wanted to live.

So I kept coming back.

One day I finally met a beautiful
Kentish maid.

So I... Well, I settled in this part of
the world which they call the Garden of

England.

Believe me, it is.

It's the most beautiful place in the
world.

And I... Well, I want to keep it that
way.

And if you elect me, that is precisely
what I'll try and do.

Because, you see, I love Kent.

I love it like my own.

That's all I wanted to say, really.

Thanks.

Ooh, nice cup of rosy.

Pop, you know about horses, don't you?
Yeah, of course I do, sweetheart.

Well, it's horse racing we want to know
about, really.

Oh, yeah?

What do you want to know?

Well, we were wondering how you decide
which horse to put your money on.

Well, you look at the runners, don't
you?

Runners? Oh, yeah, the horses and the
riders, and then you check their form.

What form?

Form? Well, it's what they did in the
past, you know.

Whether they win or lose or not.

You know, when it's been raining or when
the ground's hard.

And then you put your money on the one
with the best record.

Yeah, that's right. That's right,
sweetheart, yeah.

This is weird, all this. What do you
want to know all this for?

Some of the kids at school have been
making a book.

What do you think you're betting on,
exactly?

The election, of course.

Of course.

Right, then.

Come on.

Tell me, what's my price?

Use your wand.

Oh, I see.

And, uh... Captain Battersby.

Evens.

I see. I don't think I want to hear any
more of this, thank you.

We bet on you, of course, though, Pop.
Oh, I should hope so.

Victoria was a bit worried about losing
her money.

So put Sixpence and Battersby as well.

Hello there, George.

Stay to say goodbye.

Wish you luck.

Oh, you don't have to go yet. The best
is yet to come. We've got to be on our

way. Winter quarters in the new forest.
Long haul to make.

Now, you and your good lady wear these
today.

You'll win your election for sure.

It's got to be the luckiest day of your
life.

Where's that?

Pushty Bock.

Pushty Bock.

We're going in the seltzer, sir.

Judas!

I suppose you're going to vote for them.

And all for 30 pieces of silver.

Iscariot! Miss Pilcher, sir.

Would you mind explaining your
extraordinary aim to Weasley?

Yes,

I know where to go.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Well, if we don't, no one else will.

Papa won't be home till dark. He'll be
jolly grateful.

Well, I don't think this is a job for
girls.

For young ladies, that is.

We should have gone to try and find a
man.

Men? That's all you ever think of.

You want us to carry on marrying.

That's enough of that, you nasty little
earwig.

I'll tell you one thing, Flo. Yes, sir.
Win or lose today, I've achieved one

ambition.

I've got a brewer in the family.

It makes you thirsty just thinking about
it.

We're not.

Oh, look out.

Then my patent book would come in, Mrs
Dawes. Oh, yes, Miss Pilchester. I'll

just go and get it.

Oh, this is absolutely ghastly.

What's the matter, Miss Pilchester? You
don't seem very well.

Oh, I've done a terrible thing.

Unspeakable.

I slandered an upright man.

Oh, there, there, don't take on... What
happened?

It's the cycle on the front page.

Rare first edition turns up in local
auction.

Ex -army officer's lucky finding attic.

250 guineas for little known work.

Oh, what have I done?

What have I done?

I tell you, it's against the law.

No, it's not.

You... You're driving people to vote
Larkin. No, we're not. We're giving your

supporters free alcohol.

Actually, we're giving it away to
everybody.

Even people who vote for your husband,
Mrs. Battersby.

Fancy sniffing yourself?

Where's that damn fool policeman?

That damn fool policeman's right behind
you, madam.

Well, arrest them.

Go on, you stupid man, arrest them.
Well, no. They can't be breaking the law

they don't charge for it.

And they offer it to all and sundry.

If anyone's breaking the law, madam,
It's you.

I had intended not bringing this matter
up until after the polling was finished,

but you give me no choice. What are you
talking about?

About electoral malpractices, Mrs.
Battersby. I beg your pardon?

About trying to use my influences in the
district on your husband's behalf.

I refuse to stand here and be insulted
by this stupid old gas bag.

Robert! Robert, we are going home.

Sorry.

Bye, Major.

Oh.

Oh.

Bad sort of bloke, isn't he? Interesting
about his golf handicap, isn't he?

Yeah.

Well,

I don't know what we do now, Mum.

Hang about and wait and see, I suppose.

Yeah.

I can't stand you.

I've got a party to get ready. Come on.

Yeah. Wait a minute. What am I going
to... Brigadier, I'm so...

Sorry, it was so unworthy of me. Can you
ever forgive me? I didn't realise you

were hatching such a clever plan.

Perfectly understandable, dear lady.

You see, I was employing an old Indian
army trick that we used to use with

potential mutineers.

Give them enough rope and they'll soon
hang themselves.

Come along, let's have a drink, will
you?

I've just had an idea.

I hope it's a nice one.

I don't think you'll disapprove.

We're going to have to mount an
advertising campaign for the brewery.

And for that, we'll need a new brand
name.

And?

Blenheim Beers?

Perfect. Winter's in the air. You can
smell it.

Come on, come on. Let's get everything
started. They're all waiting. Oh, my

Lord. There may be nothing to celebrate.

Yes. Oh,

well, thank God for that. Now, I'm going
to open a bottle for better or for

worse. I'll tell you.

Ladies and gentlemen, come on in.

I'll now announce the result of the
Rural District Council

election.

Held today, the 5th of November, 1959.

Captain Robert Battersby, 298 votes.

Mr. Sidney Larkin.

Five hundred and thirty -two volts!

prepared a few words in case of such an
eventuality and I'd like to share them

with you now at this moment.

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