Original subtitles

What? Toothbrush. That's it.

Ah, sorry, I'll leave these.

Passports. Pass the port.

A jolly good idea, Charlie Moore. Don't mind if I do.

Where's my dancing shoes? Where's my dancing shoes?

Charlie, I've packed two pairs of shoes, one for dancing, one for promenade.

That'll be enough, won't it? Max, have you got Macintoshes?

I don't need a Macintosh in Paris.

That's going to be wet.

What, Paris?

Mm -hm.

Don't worry, Pop, it need not affect your enjoyment one iota.

Remember, Chesterton, I don't care where the water goes as long as it doesn't go

into the wine.

It's a blooming, lovely Charlie boy.

Oh, look at that, this one.

Where's your mother? Ma!

Oh, Ma, this is lovely.

Did you buy this specially?

Oh, you're going to have such a lovely weekend. Oh, I hope so. Of course you

are. Ma! Ma!

Ma!

Look, the aeroplane, it won't wait, you know. What are you doing?

Come on.

Put all the cases in the back there, Charlie.

Mariette, you look after that mare. I will.

Good, that's it. Now then.

Oh, I haven't fed the chickens.

Don't worry, we'll do it.

Everything will be safe in our hands. Trust us. All right, all right. Now,

forget, you look after the kids. Watch them running about.

Yes, all right, all right. Where's your mother, then? Hey, Mark!

gale warning issued by the meteorological office at 1400 hours gmt

friday come on good girls you do everything

that charlie tells you

I think they'll have a wonderful time.

Just the two of them in the capital of romance.

Wish it was us, Charlie.

It will be one day.

Meanwhile, we've got our hands full here, haven't we?

All right, Delilah.

Not long now, my darling.

Don't say that.

A couple of weeks, that's it.

Victoria!

She's all right, Charlie.

Because, you know, children.

You won't panic, will you?

Romance Weekly?

Yeah. Oh, so are we.

Mr and Mrs... Swans did.

Oh. Are you a winner?

Oh, yeah, well, yes, ma and mia. Phoebe Crimson. Hello. How do you do?

Gerry Lubbock. Hello.

Hello.

Hello, Liz.

Exciting, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, I should say so.

Butterflies. Hello, me too.

Have you ever done anything like this before?

No, we haven't.

Milo, this is our honeymoon.

Congratulations, thank you.

Well, it's a sort of honeymoon for Marmee, isn't it? How we feel.

You know, Marmee, we all think it's good to have honeymoon every so often.

So often?

Oh, yeah, and this is the way to do it, isn't it?

Better than jelly deals behind a windbreak.

And flying and all.

Oh, don't.

I've got to go to the toilet.

She's all right. She's a bit nervous. She's fine. She's fine.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm not going to be able to make it. Just pull yourself together.

A few nerves on the loose, they are.

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Cynthia, and I'm looking after you this

on behalf of Romance Weekly.

And it's my very pleasant duty to tell you that we can't go just yet.

Go.

Third time is many minutes.

I think it's my nerves.

Oh, don't be nervous.

Nothing to be nervous about.

Of course, they don't know how to do breakfast here. No. They give you this

puffy bit of bread.

Croissants, I think they're called.

Croissants and caffy.

Well, I mean to say, how can you start the day on a piece of thin air wrapped

flaky pastry?

I said, no, come on, let's have a proper English breakfast. You know, where is

it? Where's the eggs, the sausage, the bacon, the tomatoes and the fried bread?

Eh? Of course, he didn't know what I was talking about.

But that doesn't mean to say that they don't know how to eat. No, no, no, no.

course, they've got some nice stuff there.

They've got a thing called langoustine.

Now, langoustine, well, that's like a baby lobster, really.

Yeah, that's very nice.

I'll tell you what they have got, which is really, really very good, and that is

the oysters.

Yes, oysters. Of course, they're good for the... Well, you know, it's... An

aphrodisiac. Yes, they got them and all. Oh, yes.

Yes, no, I was talking about oysters.

Yeah, of course, they're good for the... Good for honeymoon couples.

And the younger... Oh, like more than me.

We can't wait.

Oh, you'll love it.

They'll love it when they're more.

What's that?

Paris. Oh, yeah, well, we love France.

Yeah, well, Paris, France, they think.

Not just because of l 'amour and la manger, but they've got a

place there called Cognac.

The only country that can name a town after a drink can't be all bad. That's

what I reckon, anyway.

Oh, hello. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Miss McCracken. Now, please, come

with us, yeah?

And it's my very pleasant duty to... Um, there seems there is the possibility of

a slight delay.

Delay? Yeah, well, what sort of delay?

Are you aware that we're already late?

The plane's not here.

It seems it can't get across the channel.

What? The weather or something. I've just got a message.

Now, come on.

Come on, sit up. Are you all right?

So what's the matter with the plane?

Oh, nothing, nothing. The plane's fine.

We can go, can't we?

Oh, of course.

It's only the weather.

Weather? What do you mean, weather?

Nothing wrong with the weather.

120 words, all that.

Why, you thought you deserved to spend a weekend in the most romantic city in

the world. Yes, right.

I only needed two.

Blooming, exhausting.

Oh, no. No, you do. A little bit.

Yeah, well.

Seven children.

Forget what all this romance life's all about.

No, really. Well, I'll have to remind you, won't I, my dear? Oh, thank you.

Right you are, then, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Sorry to keep you

The plane's ready.

No.

No, but a bus has now arrived.

A bus?

A bus?

You mean we'll be going by bus?

Not all the way to Paris.

Don't be ridiculous.

We are going to Paris.

Of course you're going, but I'm afraid it seems there's no possibility of

out of here tonight.

Oh, no.

Please, please, rest assured, you will be in Paris first thing in the morning.

now introduce you to george our driver who will take care of our every need

where do you intend to take us now then in your bus to the very best hotel

in the area

Well, I've got five courses, Mum.

Good.

Five courses is good.

Good idea having a fish course.

Oh, yeah.

It saves you having to choose.

Yeah, yeah, right.

No -one should have to choose between meat and fish, should they?

Oh, Mum, look at those two on the dance floor.

Don't they remind you of you and me when we were little?

You think they're not married, are you?

No, no.

I don't mean that. I mean, don't they remind you of when you and me was, you

know... See what you mean?

Oh, you think?

Not bad, this place, is it? No.

It's a nice couple.

Um, is everything all right?

Mm -hm.

Yes, of course it is. Relax, Cynthia.

Of course it's all right.

Well, we're looking on this as a... Well, it's a bit of a bonus, isn't it?

McCracken.

Er, excuse me.

Tinned peas.

Sorry, what's your name?

The best hotel in the area, you say? And they serve tinned peas.

You won't get nothing fresher than tin, not this time of year.

Miserable blot.

We've done it.

Done what?

Survived.

Charlie, it's only Friday night.

Yes, I know.

It's having responsibility, you see.

For the family.

Charlie.

If only you'd been brought up with brothers and sisters of your own.

They needn't be hard work, you know.

Relax.

Oh, no.

Do you like it?

I like it.

It's got to hardly contain myself.

Oh, what a turn -up, eh?

Do you think we should have phoned home, Sid?

Hmm. As far as they're concerned, we're in Paris.

And as far as I'm concerned, metaphysically, as Johnny would say, we

Paris.

Takes some getting used to, though, eh?

Well, I'm going to have to help you, you know.

Primrose, will you give me a hand, please?

Oscar, don't do that.

Primrose.

I swear those ducks were laughing at me.

Well, it just goes on and on and on. Thank you. I've never known rain like

in my life.

Bob and Ma don't know how lucky they are, do they?

It's the only place in England where you can see these wild animals roaming

free.

Oh, look, look, there's a wannabe.

Yes, there's a wannabe.

Could be a deer.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

All right, cheer up.

We'll get there. We'll get to Paris.

When? Exactly.

Well, I mean, they could have kept us in the airport. I think it was very good

of them to lay on trips like this. Yes, sort of bonus. Yeah.

I don't want any more bonuses.

I want Paris.

This is, come on, I know it's raining cats and dogs, but we don't need float.

Float, when you say float, you mean like a cash float?

Yeah.

Well, now you're talking my language, my girl. How much you got?

Not enough to keep certain people happy.

I need the Chief of the Bank of England to keep certain people happy.

Come on, how much you got in here? Let's have a...

Just what is going on? Pull over, will you, George, when you find a space.

Right.

It's that common -looking man again.

Excuse me.

Whoops. Don't trust that man an inch.

Miss McCracken, excuse me, what is happening?

All right, excuse me. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Take a minute.

We'll have your attention, please, just for a minute.

When we died out of this trip yesterday, I promised Mark a weekend fit for a

queen.

She shall have. Yay.

Now, look, we're not going to let a little bit of weather stop us having a

time, are we?

No. No, that's the spirit.

Because this is a weekend for winners.

What is it?

A weekend for winners.

That's the spirit. Oh, yeah.

That's it.

Now, then, listen to me.

I want you all to cheer up and just trust in me, Sidney Larkin, and I

you a weekend of...

Cynthia, let money be thy servant, otherwise it will be thy master. It's

there working for us, isn't it?

Here we are. If there's money, it'd be more appropriate.

What do you say, old chap?

The place.

He meant the place.

I know what he meant.

Here you are. Go and put that on any trap number.

She's never gambled in her life.

She married you, didn't she?

Come on, I'll show you how to do it. Come on, everyone.

Come on.

When Ma and Papa are away...

The rain that falls on Ma, I'd like to think the same rain falls on me.

The clouds that pass overhead have passed over Pop and me.

And when the sun comes out, it shines on us all, wherever we may be.

Very good, Victoria.

That's delightful.

That's really lovely.

Do I get a prize?

Oh.

Aha. The winner of the Home Farm...

What? What's wrong? I told you to stay inside.

The telegraph pole?

No.

She bolted.

All on to win.

Every last penny?

Every last penny.

Right,

where is everybody? You're our team. Right, here we are now then. I'll show

what we've done.

We're all on Humdinger, right?

And he's 33 to 1.

Good news, Mr Larkin. The storms are passing.

Ah, and?

And, more good news, the planes are now able to leave Paris.

Oh, good. Then we ought to toot sweetly back to the airport. Well, we can go

now, can't we? Yeah.

Well, there's no rush.

Cynthia, what do you mean that there's no rush?

Eh?

Come on, you can tell me. I can't. Yes, you can. Come on.

I'm not telling him.

Oh, all right. Well, look, just tell me.

Tomorrow morning.

They're now saying tomorrow morning at the earliest.

The airport's hopelessly congested.

Tomorrow morning?

Well, we come back tomorrow.

Yeah. That's right.

I have to put it to you all that you can stay an extra night and come back on

Monday. Oh, God.

Well, what about tonight?

Exactly.

I've resigned.

I've resigned. That's it. I've had enough. Now, calm down.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

Do you know what they want me to do now? No.

Find another hotel.

Cheaper. It must be cheaper.

Old Lime Juice wasn't happy with four stars last night.

I know, but we were. The rest of us were.

Oh, it's not fair.

I got this job because I speak French.

I got this job because I know Paris.

I know Paris backwards.

I don't know Bloomingbarks yet. I don't even know where we are.

Cynthia, Cynthia, Cynthia, you must calm down.

What's happening, please?

Now, look, we made a few bob on the dogs, didn't we?

Oh. Maybe we can find a place.

Look, Mark, take Cynthia into the coach. Find out how many people want to stay

till Monday. You leave the hotel to me.

Excuse us.

We'll get in. It takes more than stars to make a hotel.

It's a good deal for my go -to.

Mr Larkin.

Yes. Say you can't find anywhere.

What?

Say you can't find anywhere, then we can call it a day.

Call it a day?

But Mrs.

Lyne, Caroline,

what's the matter with you? Don't you want to go to Paris?

Paris is the enchanted city, the capital of romance.

Romance? Amongst triglyphs and trefoils?

Beg your pardon?

All he wants to do is look at churches.

That's the extent of his passion.

Romance?

With that gargoyle?

Oh, look, forgive me for asking this, but if that's the way that it is, how

that you two won this competition?

Oh, we didn't.

It was his brother, Paul.

Same initial, you see.

Well, the poor man slipped a disc, so Peter thought, there's a chance of a

trip.

Typical, don't you think?

Oh, I see.

So, here we are. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Maybe this is the chance to let Paris work its magic.

To rekindle that lost love.

Maybe there's one more moment in a choir storm.

A long lingering caress in a crypt.

No, wait, no, not with me, no. No, I meant with your husband.

With your husband.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm embarrassed. No, no, that's all right, Caroline. It's all right.

Don't get upset.

Easy mistake to make.

Suit me. Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

A French restaurant.

No, but warmer.

Where, Sidney? I'm not telling you.

Isn't he a tease?

Another mystery tour.

I'm past caring.

All right, Caroline.

in it, my.

People can live together for years and years and yet drift so far apart.

Beyond conceiving, if you ask me. Beyond conceiving.

You're having a good time, aren't you, me old duck?

I'll get Paris to come to us.

Chateaubriand.

Chateaubriand.

Certainly not overbooked, anyway.

Wow. It certainly is.

Hello?

That's loud enough to wake the dead.

Sorry.

I phoned earlier.

Romance Weekly.

I phoned earlier about rooms for tonight.

Rooms?

Rooms?

Room, room.

Yes, sir. We have rooms.

Oh, yeah, we've got rooms. We've got 12 rooms, 11 with ceilings. You're the

Paris party.

We have lots of people from Paris.

No, we're going to Paris. April, go in April.

Come along, Tommy.

Tonight's menu, Tommy.

Menu?

Excuse me one moment.

No.

No, I'm sorry, but there are limits.

We cannot stay here.

Never mind, Mr Larkin.

You tried.

I opened the telephone directory and there it was staring at me.

Chateau Brest.

I thought, well, this is fate. This is meant to be.

Meant to be what? That's the question.

Oi.

He tried.

So did Icarus.

Okay, driver, shall we move on?

Wait. If you don't mind, I'd like to look round.

So would I.

Come on, say.

Oh, look at that. Look at that.

Who's Icarus?

extraordinaire.

It's been a while since these were last used.

We just don't change that, do we?

Oh, Peter.

Look.

Oh, my Lord.

Sheets are slept in by Elizabeth I.

That was a good year.

All things considered, I wouldn't mind staying here, Sidney. All things

considered, I wouldn't mind living here, Gravel.

you are, girls.

This was the place to be seen, of course, once upon a time.

Oh, yeah.

I bet it was.

Oh, I like that.

Good. I think I'm getting the measure of this place, Greville. Yeah, I think you

are, Sidney.

One coachman's throttle coming up.

Ladies and gentlemen, could I just have your attention just for a minute,

please?

It seems to me we've got one of two choices.

We can either move on to some unknown destination, downhearted and

Or we could call it a day and go home.

No, what I was going to say, we could just stay here and all pull together.

Just one thing.

Don't let her cook for you.

Mrs Potts.

That's what killed her husband, I reckon.

Her cooking.

Oh, right, well... Well, if the management was agreeable, I reckon I

could get Ma to rustle us something up.

I wouldn't mind betting that's where she is even now, you know, in the kitchen,

if I know.

Well done,

Ma. Oh, he said pate and he was off.

Told you she'd sort it all out.

Tommy!

Would you mind informing me what's going on here?

I don't know.

If I was you, I'd have one of these.

We decided we'd like to stay, ma 'am.

I'm sure you would.

Dukes and princes, lords and ladies and stars of screen

and stage have all wanted to stay here.

However... We'll pay cash.

Sign them in, Tommy.

No!

We met in Montmartre in 1937.

Gerrit just finished art school, and I was trying to be a starving poet.

She had money, so I was totally compromised by the woman. Have been ever

And now you want to go back?

Time to go back.

That was our winning slogan.

Recapture the moment.

That chance encounter that can change a life.

Yeah.

Hey,

Mrs. Potts suggested, you know, to make the evening something special, that we

should have a cabaret.

Oh, how jolly. And everyone could do something French.

Oh, la, la.

What a good idea.

Yeah, I think Polly's got the answer with you. La, la, la.

Miss McCracken.

What am I to do with him?

Well, I know what I'd do with him.

Miss McCracken. I'm afraid the time has come when I really must speak to your

superior.

Miss McCracken.

It's Saturday evening, Mr Lyme. I don't care if it's the last Sunday in Lent.

Get on the phone and get me someone in authority now.

Oh, my dear, a windsock.

So far from the airport, too.

Windsock.

I beg your pardon.

Oh, my dear, come and have a drink.

Goodness, you've found her.

Pop would have been devastated if anything had happened to her.

I think the shock has brought it on, Charlie.

What? She could drop it any time.

She could what?

She's in labour. It could happen any moment.

I'll stay with her tonight, Charlie.

Oh, all night.

It could happen any time.

And it is her first foal.

Oh, Delilah.

You did give us a fright, you know.

You certainly did.

And they picked a fine weekend to leave the country, didn't they?

Who, Papa Ma?

I wonder what they're doing right now.

Peter, hey, what about your Caroline men?

I'm sorry?

I think that your wife is a wonderful woman.

Look, I've had enough of you.

First you try and ruin my weekend, and now you want to ruin my wife. Oh, Peter,

what? I've seen you and her.

She's a very impressionable woman.

One more word out of you, Salter. You just sit down. Now, just sit down there

and let me tell you something.

I don't want your wife.

But if you don't start wanting your wife a little more, I'm going to be forced

to divulge to the whole party the devious means that you use to inveigle

yourself onto this excursion. Do you understand my meaning?

Oh! Caroline!

Caroline! You were one! You were absolutely one! You were!

Even Peter was saying how wonderful you were in the can -can.

Really? Didn't you, Peter?

I'll tell you something else, you see.

I know I shouldn't say it.

He said, he said, how much he adored you.

And he adored you more with each passing year.

He said that, didn't he, Peter?

I'll tell you something else. He said, no, I'm sorry, Peter, I'm sorry, I'm

going to have to tell her. I promised I wouldn't, my wilt.

And he was watching you dancing up there.

He said, look at that, isn't she a beautiful woman?

Look at that beautiful swan -like neck.

The dark, passionate eyes.

The fire that never dies.

It's more like it, old man.

Oh, look at all this, Mo.

I mean, if this isn't Paris.

I'm a dead man.

Well, then... I think this must be Paris.

Good night,

George. Good night, Mr Larkin. Good night, Cynthia.

Good night, Mr Larkin.

Bonsoir. Bonjour.

Bonjour, ladies.

Who are we supposed to be called?

I now can't remember.

Oh, Greville.

Oh, Mr Larkin.

Oh, Mr Larkin.

You can call me Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid.

Call me Pop.

I can't remember who we are.

Shh. We are Mr and Mrs Wanstead.

Wanstead? Bankstead?

Bankstead.

Barking. Barking. Barking.

Thank you.

Thank you.

For bringing us together.

Bonne nuit, monsieur.

Dormez bien. C 'est de l 'honneur, chat.

Bonsoir.

That intense cordial myself.

Good night, Cynthia.

Good night, Mr Larkin.

Good night, George.

Mr Larkin.

Watch this. Watch this.

This isn't for the port's alarm.

Oh. She needs help with the shoulders. Quick!

It was never like this in the tax office.

And that's for the port.

Do appreciate a fine ball.

And, uh, here you are. That's for you, old boy.

Moony! Moony what?

What's the breakfast?

Oh, what do you fancy? Air the dog, old man.

Oh, I do.

Morning, George.

Morning, Mrs Larkin. Good night, George.

Good night, Cynthia.

Now, come along. We'll miss that pain.

Here you are, George.

Get that down, you. Good morning, Mr Larkin. Put some lead back in your bed.

no thanks. He doesn't need that.

Come along, everyone, please.

Just come to say goodbye, Mrs Potts.

We showed him a good time, didn't we, Mr Larkin?

Just like the old days.

Yeah, just like the old days.

Who's a clever girl, then?

It's a miracle.

Wait till Ma and Pop see this.

They'd be surprised, wouldn't they?

What's wrong with you, George?

I reckon he's fallen asleep after that.

I don't know why he's in the main room.

Where the blazes are we? It's a park, isn't it?

It's a shortcut, isn't it, George?

Oh, well, c 'est la vie.

I don't think none of us care anymore. We had a good weekend.

Yeah, we did. Look. We had a good laugh, anyway, didn't we? I'm sorry, fellas.

I'm afraid I've sustained a broken driveshaft.

Never mind.

What's that mean?

What it means is we ain't going to leave here in a hurry.

Not a pub in sight, eh?

Hey, Mum, Mum.

Who's that there?

Look. Who's that there, there? Where?

It's the Queen. It's not.

Isn't it the Queen? It is.

It's the Blooming Queen, look. It is.

Isn't that, um... Isn't that... What's his name? De Gaulle.

No, no, it can't be.

General de Gaulle is over here, on a state visit. Sid, my legs are gone. Oh,

dear. Oh, take your hat off.

Oh, yeah, right.

Queen!

He must have popped over to visit us.

He popped over to visit us.

If my homie can't go to the mountain... Excuse me.

They can help us, they can help us. Get your hair pulled.

Is there an autograph?

Well, that is it. I have seen her now.

Oh, nothing could better that.

Oh, I want to go home now.

I want to tell the kids.

Oh,

there you go.

Bye, Ben.

Thank you both for making such a smashing weekend.

You make me laugh.

Go on, get on with you.

Perfect weekend, I'd say, Simmy.

Indeed. Couldn't put it better myself.

Good luck to both of you.

Yeah. Well, now you go on your way back to Wanstead. Oh, barking. Oh, barking,

is it?

It's Forest Gate, actually. Oh, come on.

Bye -bye. Bye.

Oh, Caroline.

I shall be writing to someone very high up indeed within the organisation.

And he'll be making it clear, on behalf of us all, that you did everything you

could to make this weekend a success.

Oh, thank you.

Absolutely.

Well, of course.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Bye. Bye.

And if they want to try and send us across the water at some time in the

well, that'll be fine by us, won't it, Mum? Yeah.

Bye -bye now, bless you. Bye.

Well, cheerio.

Bye, George.

Sorry about your drive, Charles.

I gave her a run for her money, Mr Larkin.

What did I say?

What did I say? I'm just having a laugh at the joke with the man.

I'm having a laugh at it.

I just said something about the bus.

They'll be married in no time, Mum. I think you're right, Mum.

Come on, home.

I'm jealous of the bus. I'm not jealous of the bus.

close to. This blind business is quite unnatural.

I'll stick to what's natural any day more.

Watch out for your drive, Charles.

I'm not looking.

Funny smell, where are we? Wait a minute.

All right, all right. When can we open our eyes?

After three. Oh, three then.

One, two, three.

Oh, no.

Good Lord.

Ma, how long have we been away, Ma?

Two days. Two days, exactly. This wasn't you for two weeks.

Oh, it's beautiful. I'm going to cry. Yeah, but I know, but I mean, it wasn't

June. You can thank the weather for that, Pop.

The weather? The storms.

We can thank the storms for quite a few things this weekend, can't we, Pop?

Certainly can, Ma.

And Charlie thought that, well, we could call him Paris.

Charlie. Yeah.

Well, here's to Paris.

To Paris.

Perfect.