Original subtitles

How long have you been up?

What time is it?

I thought I'd let you have a little lie -in.

Christmas holidays start tomorrow. The place will be like Bedlam.

Hey,

Charlie, I felt him again this morning.

Just here.

It was like a little fluttering, like a little butterfly.

You're still certain it's him, then?

Oh, absolutely certain.

Anyway, I'll get the breakfast going.

Oh! By the way, this came for you today.

Thank you.

Anything important?

No.

No, Dr. Lapper.

How many's that then, Montgomery?

Oh, 40.

40. And 40 required.

I love the countryside in winter, Montgomery, don't you, eh?

Especially on a day like today when the air's so clean and crisp.

You can almost smell the sea, son.

Go on, take a lungful of that, go on.

See, perfect, isn't it, eh?

Now,

what else was there?

No, that's it, I think. Yes, that's it.

I'll have it ready for you first thing tomorrow morning.

Oh, I was rather hoping you'd have it delivered.

No, I'm afraid that won't be possible this year.

Oh, yes.

Of course.

I quite understand, my dear.

I'll call back for it tomorrow, then.

Good day, Mrs. Nathan.

Good day. Mrs.

Larkin. Hello.

Ah, a bit of smoked haddock, please. That looks nice. Have a couple of big

of that, huh?

I want a dozen pair of clippers and some of that place, I think.

I'd be happy to get Montgomery to give you a hand, if that'd be help.

That won't be necessary, thank you, Mrs Larkin.

Two pounds, five ounces.

Oh, well, you'd better put another couple of bits on. Pop does like his

on a Christmas morning.

There we are, look. One Christmas tree delivered by S. Larkin Esquire to the

customer's front door as per instructions.

Well, what do you think, Edith, eh? What do you think? Look.

Little beauty, that is, isn't it? Oh, it is.

It is.

I mean, did you really... Oh, it really is.

The thing is, you see, I'd like to invite you in, but the thing is I'm

your Christmas band at the moment and I'd never forgive myself if you haven't.

I nearly gave the game away there.

I mean, you do understand, don't you? You do understand.

Yes, oh, yes, I do indeed, Edith.

There's nothing worse than a spoilt surprise.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You just settle up to the Christmas tree and I'll be on my way.

What do I owe you?

It's my little book.

Tell you what, you give me one of your Christmas specials and we'll call it

quits.

And

what's

this one called, Mrs Larkins? This one's called Oscar.

Oscar Columbus, Dr.

Larkins. You're six, I believe.

Seven?

That's why he's called Feckin.

How nice.

Very nice. And I understand your eldest is also expecting. What a very feckin'

family you are.

What's feckin'? Fertile.

Oh, fertile!

Oh, yeah.

Very feckin' family, Mrs Farley.

Like a drop of good sauce, eh? The more you poke into it, the more it produces.

Of course, you know all about that, your husband being such a keen gardener, eh?

Quite.

Poor woman.

I wonder what they want with her now.

She's had nothing but trouble since that husband of hers.

Of course, chances are he's miles away by now.

But I've got to ask you this, Mrs Mason.

Are you quite sure he hasn't tried to contact you?

Quite sure.

Mrs Mason, I don't have to tell you that harbouring an escape... No, you don't

have to tell me, thank you.

Just excuse me, I've work to do.

It's a busy time of year.

It is that.

Still, The kiddies enjoy it, and that's... Anyway, if he should try to...

can start looking elsewhere, because he's not welcome here. All right,

He's not welcome!

On the first day of Christmas, my dear love gave to me a partridge in a pear

tree. Which way?

That way.

One drop,

one drop.

Tongue, you were in bed, my little dumpling.

Still, first Christmas, got to make allowances, eh?

Look what I've got.

Look at this.

Look, it's your very own Christmas tree.

Look. And what Pop's going to do, he's going to put it right on top of the

Christmas tree.

Look at this.

Look, Pop.

What is that for?

Oh, look what I've got here. This is the very first one we ever had as married.

And Montgomery's all alone.

Look at the state of that.

I could do with a bath, that would.

Just you, my little one. Come on.

Time for a bath.

You say goodnight to everybody.

Goodnight.

Careful,

darling. What is it?

Oh, very nice. Did you make this?

Yes. Ooh, let's see what does it say. Merry Christmas, it says. To Miss

Pilchester.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I love Christmas and so do you. Love, Victoria.

That's lovely, darling.

Go on, then.

I've made up six. Have you? Are they all as good as that, are they? Listen to

this one. Go on, then.

Christmas comes but once a year.

Aren't you glad that you're here?

Yes, I am, aren't you?

They're very good. Now, you go and finish them all tonight because we've

deliver them first thing tomorrow.

Now, how are you getting on with your presents, then, girls?

It's a bit behind, I'm afraid, Pop.

Oh, you're prim, you never mind.

The twins will give you a hand, won't you, twins?

Here we are.

Now, where were we?

Ah, right, Montgomery, what I want now is that last bowl here.

Come on, Montgomery, how are you getting on with your Christmas presents, eh?

Well, I've done soap dishes for the ladies and coffee cartons for the gent.

Have you?

Very acceptable presents they are, too.

There we are, done.

Shall I switch on now, then, Pop?

Right, switch on, Charlie boy.

Right.

Of course I won't leave you.

Of course I won't.

A bit more tinsel, do you think, Pop?

Well, just a fraction more. We don't want to overdo it, do we?

Here.

Do you have another woman, Cedric Charlton?

Getting letters you won't let me read.

Only one.

Going places you won't tell me where.

I'll tell you tomorrow.

What?

I'll tell you then.

Show you then, I promise.

It's not fair, Charlie.

For the past two days... Gwen.

Gwen, give me your hand.

So, anyway.

I was talking to old What's -His -Name down at Labora.

Apparently the police was in there at dinnertime asking questions.

Guess you know what, Ma?

I think I'm running out of puff.

Don't be so irritating, Sid, going on about your puff. Tell me about Tommy

Mason.

I'll tell you what, if I run out of puff, you'll be the one to top her.

Plenty more where you came from, Pitney Larkins.

Oh.

Now, tell me about Tommy Mason before I brain you.

Well, he's done a runner from prison, hasn't he?

Oh, no.

Yeah.

That's why the police will be knocking at her door.

It's daft, though, isn't it, Mum? Eh?

Can't do himself any good, can it?

Oh, it's there I feel sorry for.

She had nothing but trouble this past 12 months.

Now this.

She's changed, Sid.

Lord, how she's changed.

She's all stiff and proud and tight.

Can't even get so much as a good morning out of her.

Anyway, got to give her credit, though, for the way that she's run that

business.

Yeah, and the family.

Yeah, and the family.

Come on, look at the time. Look, look, come on. We'll be up here all night.

I'll just sugar some almonds and I'll call it a day.

I think I might do a Christmas for her and the kids this year, I shouldn't

wonder.

Losing your half my eye.

I didn't want to tell you before, because we're one of two problems with

lease and I didn't want you to be disappointed.

But that's all all right now, and if we want it, it's ours.

But only if you like it, of course.

Oh, Charlie.

Lovely.

Lovely.

Can we see it? Can we go inside?

Of course we can.

Oh, Charlie, can we afford it?

Well, Pop's going to pay the first three months' rent as a Christmas present.

Now, it goes without saying that I have every intention of paying him back. I

mean, he's done enough for us.

Anyway, by that stage, I hope to have one or two irons of my own in the fire.

It belonged to a farm worker of his family that they moved out a few months

There's still an awful lot he needs doing to it.

I mean, well, the kitchen alone.

Hey, Carly, we can do this old dresser up.

Put all our things on it.

And a great big long table here.

I love it.

I really love it.

It could be a cat or a squirrel or something.

Charlie.

Lovely nursery.

We have a swing. No thoughts of things.

Charlie, it's great.

It's just what we want.

Oh, must be stuck.

Still plenty of time for all that.

Can you go and get some paint and come back this afternoon?

It's going to be an awful lot more than just paint, I'm afraid.

Well, whatever.

Let's start straight away.

Oh, Charlie, I'm so excited.

Our own home.

I love it.

What a lovely Christmas present.

Out of the city of Nazareth into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called

Bethlehem.

And so it was that while they were there, the days were accomplished that

should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes,

and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Because there was no room for them in the inn.

We will now sing number four on your carol sheets.

Away in a manger, no crib for a maid.

Well, see, they haven't caught Tommy Mason yet, then.

What exactly did he do, Spartan?

It's what the law calls receiving and handling stolen goods.

Apparently, he got rode into by a couple of baddies from over Rochester Way.

One minute, he's looking at some easy money.

The next minute, he's looking at a two -year stretch.

People have to be greedy.

See what happens when you're greedy, my son?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're hearing nothing like a good old sing -song.

Excuse me.

The problem is, I was wondering... Thank you, but there's nothing we need.

Thank you.

Ah,

Edith!

I've got a piece of mistletoe here somewhere.

Not in front of the entire congregation.

Oh, yes, and the vicar as well. Now, I've got it in her. Where did I put it?

You've got terrible teeth in me, Larkin. Now, stop it. All right, I'll catch you

later. Will you?

Oh, thank you.

Wait a minute.

What?

Oh.

Missy asked me to confirm that you will give your father Christmas this year.

Of course I will. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Lovely, lovely.

Perhaps you would pop round and check the costume sometime this evening.

That's a very good idea, Edith.

I'll pop round for it later this evening.

You're teasing me again. You're teasing me.

No, would I do that? Listen, Edith.

How would you like to come and have Christmas dinner with us at home for a

night? Oh, that would be lovely.

Thank you so much.

Not at all. My pleasure.

Oh, here we go. See you later. Bye.

No, no, no, no.

I saw you having a word with poor Mrs Mason.

Well, you and everyone else, I should wonder. She didn't say if there'd been

development, did she? I mean, I do think we should know, being members of the

community. Well, she did say something interesting, actually.

Oh? Well, it's between you and me, right, Mrs Farley? Would I ever?

Well, according to her bit of seaweed, it's been snow for the weeks out.

Of course, it's the children I feel sorry for, poor little mice.

Christmas being, after all, first and foremost for the kiddies.

Get away from that car!

No, no, anything.

Anything but money. I'll give you anything but money.

No, no, no. All right, all right. All right, come on now. Here, now.

I've invited Edith over for Christmas dinner. More the merrier. Merry

Mrs... Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, General.

Merry Christmas. Come on, everybody get in. Come on, it's cold.

I wonder if the Brigadier will be on his own again this year.

I ought to ask him too, Sid. Can't have old people on their own at Christmas.

No. Any people come to that. It's not natural. Quite right.

All right, sit down, everyone.

Here we go.

What's this all about, baby?

There'd be no room at the inn.

Oh, right, yes.

We wouldn't love a big pot.

Well, turn someone out.

Not while we've got four walls and a roof, my sweet. Don't you fret.

Er,

Charlie's catching the logs. No, I'm just off to the bungalow to do some more

painting. Oh, can't you wait till after Christmas before you start all that?

Well, you be careful, my lady. No climbing up ladders.

Five months is a tricky time.

I'll remember you climbing ladders with our primrose.

It's different.

If I fall, I bounce.

I'll be careful.

Well, let her get on with it, then.

There isn't a Father Christmas.

Everyone knows that.

I guess there is. There isn't. There is.

Stop it. Stop it, you two.

There is, isn't there, Ma? Tell them that there is.

They know perfectly well there is, don't you?

Don't you?

Yes, Ma.

I should think so, too.

Go and get me half a dozen eggs. Victoria's a good girl.

Put your coat on.

Why, did you hurt me?

No, I'm just saying.

You're hiding from someone.

Um, no.

No, not hiding, just sort of having a little rest.

Why? Haven't you got anywhere to stay, then, mister?

Um, no.

I told Pop.

No, I'd rather you didn't.

It's sort of, um...

You and me?

Yeah.

Yeah, if you like.

So we won't tell the twins then?

No.

No, we won't tell the twins. That's definite.

The twins or nobody.

Promise.

Promise.

You're, um... You're Primrose, aren't you?

No, Victoria.

Oh, Victoria.

Right.

I suppose there's a chance of a bit of food, is there, Victoria?

Here we are.

A little drop of sherry lurking.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Very good health, General.

Sherry -o. Sherry -o. Oh, just... Here you are. Go on, that one's for you.

Best Havana.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Now, the reason I popped over is that Ma and me was

wondering what you're doing for Christmas Day.

Christmas Day?

Ah.

You mean the actual day, do you?

I mean, you mean Christmas Day itself?

Yes, that's right, General.

Sorry if I didn't make myself clear.

Oh.

Spotted lunch.

Listen to the wireless, of course.

Since

we

got Edith coming over for Christmas Day, we thought you'd like to come over and

all. Oh, well, nice thought.

I couldn't possibly miss Her Majesty's speech on the wireless, though.

No, no, no, you wouldn't have to.

You can watch her with us on the telly.

If you're on the television.

Yes, that's right, she is this year.

Watch it on your own set and all, if you like.

We've got four of them.

Very well.

You're a very persuasive fellow, Larkin.

Good. That settles, then.

Good health, General.

Oh, that tin was still full. You two be nibbling again.

Not us, Ma. Oh, who then?

There's a great lump of my ham gone. Now my mince pies.

It's not you two, is it? Iggy the fire bobby, I suppose.

I expect it's Victoria. What? Putting it out for Father Christmas.

Oh. It wasn't me.

Oh, Victoria, not the ham. Oh, Ma.

Those mince pies look wonderful. May I? Yes.

I'm starving. Yeah, oh, with them a fresh pot. Fill the kettle up with rope.

Do I have to?

Yes, you do.

Now you two make room for Charlie.

You don't. They're there.

Where's Mariette?

I thought she was with you.

Mariette?

It's all right. Paddy Cooper, go in now.

Doctor says everything's going to be fine.

Just give me something to sleep.

I know.

I know.

You're so stupid, Charlie.

It's my fault.

I should have been firmer with you.

I should have said you're not to go in there on your own.

I love you.

Both of you.

Luckily, she's a good, strong girl.

Long as she puts her feet out for a couple of days and cuts out all this

mountaineering nonsense.

Yeah, don't worry. We'll sort all that out, Doctor. We'll sort all that out.

There you are. We most certainly will.

I'll call in the day after Boxing Day.

Oh, good. Thank you.

Well, all we need do now is to settle your account. Oh, yeah, we thought,

knowing you and your good lady's partiality, half a dozen of Pop's best

and a nice goose.

Ah!

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Oh.

Oh, come on, Ma.

You know what the doctor said?

Marriott will be all right. In a few days, she'll be as right as ninepence.

Not that. I forgot to put the frappney bits in her Christmas puddings.

Now, of course she will, as long as we keep an eye on her.

Yeah.

Bit of a noise tonight, ain't they?

Oh, me neither.

We were being transferred to another prison.

Four of us.

The van must have hit a patch of ice or something.

Suddenly we go into a skid and it's a tree and the guard gets knocked out and

the door bursts open and the other three are up and running and one of them

starts yelling for me to come on.

Before I can think proper, I'm out of the van and running like hell before I

know where I'm running to.

Anyway, we split up until I keep running, until I've got no breath left

All the time my mind's getting clearer and I know where I'm going.

I'm going to try and see Betty and the kids.

I don't know about your mind getting clearer, Tommy.

You must have known that was the first place they'd look.

Since they put me inside, she's refused to have anything to do with me.

She's not visited.

She's not written any letters.

She's returned any letters I wrote, and worst of all, she's stopped me making

any sort of contact with the kids.

I don't know how she feels.

She's been hurt, and it's my fault.

I was greedy.

I got caught up with some baddens and I was wrong, but I love them kids.

Tough as it seems, it was for them that I...

What is it you want to do, Tommy?

All I want to do is see my kids.

I tell you what, Charlie boy, will you stay here for a minute and just keep an

eye on Tommy?

I'll have a quiet word with Ma in the other room.

Pop, you do know, don't you, if you get involved, you could find yourself in

very hot water.

Yes, I do know that, Charlie boy.

Thank you.

Well, what do you think, Aunt Ma?

I think he's got himself into a right old mess. That's what I think.

Do you believe him, what he says about his wife and that?

I know she's an awful proud woman.

Pride can run like poison.

You know, though, I don't think there's any point in him lying.

No.

I know how I would feel if I couldn't see my kids.

Stone a flipping crow's mouth would tear my heart out, would it?

Do you want to sit?

Can't bear the sight of them things on his wrists.

All you want to do is see your kids, right?

That's all I want, Sid.

Wish them happy Christmas.

Tell them I love them and I'll go back as good as gold.

All right, it's agreed, then.

Eh?

It's our little secret.

Just you and me.

Just you and me.

And Ma.

Yeah, and Ma.

But not the twins, though.

No, not the twins.

Definitely not the twins.

Good. I like secrets.

I've locked them lately.

Good.

Where is he?

Upstairs in his spare room.

Dead tired and fast asleep.

Don't worry, Charlie boy, he ain't going anywhere.

I don't like this, you know.

I don't like this at all. If you say that one more time, Cedric Charlton,

embalm your head in this toffee.

Well, I don't.

Well, anyway, be that as it may.

The thing is, how are we going to get him to see his kids without the police?

Seeing him.

Well, actually, I've been thinking about that.

Oh, yeah?

Yes.

Father Brown.

Father Brown?

Stuck in my mind.

The one person you never suspect is the postman.

One person you never suspect is the postman.

Father Brown. The postman being the one you expect, not suspect.

I mean, when he's at home.

Well, the postman isn't the only one to deliver parcels.

Is he?

All right, all right, Tommy.

Don't worry.

Anyway, I bought you a cup of tea, look.

Here you go.

Thank you. There you are.

Now, listen.

I've been thinking... No, no, no, Tommy.

You listen to me, cos I've been thinking and all. In fact, I've got a plan.

And it's all based on a book that Charlie Boy read.

The one person you never suspect is the postman.

Come on, you two, get ready.

What for?

You know perfectly well what for. We're going to the village to see Father

Christmas. That's... does for kids. Well, I'm not a kid.

Well, I am. But you don't believe... Come on!

Don't upset Ma.

It's just pop.

Anyway. Oh, no, it isn't.

Oh, yes, it is. He always does it. Everyone knows that.

Oh, no, they don't.

No, she's better.

Who is?

Kim, it's Father Christmas.

Oh, it's just pop.

Daft? Who's daft?

Look, come on, you lot.

I've got to go and see a man about a reindeer, so Charlie will be taking you

the rolls.

All right?

All right, Tommy?

Good boy.

Thank you, children.

I've just had a message to make.

Father Christmas is on his way.

Just remember everything that I told you.

All right?

Now, there it is. There's the door.

Go straight down there, turn right at the end. You'll see Edith. She'll be

waiting for you.

Oh!

You look absolutely splendid, Sidney.

What would I say, Father Christmas?

Oh, yeah.

And this is your sack. It's awfully heavy. I'm afraid people have been

generous.

Can you manage?

Of course you can.

And look, this is a little something.

For underneath your Christmas tree, and if you don't like the colour, I'd be

only too happy to knit you another pair.

Haven't you forgotten something?

It's your fault, you naughty man.

You've given me the taste.

Chilly tonight, innit? Oh, I see.

What's all this, then? Aren't you doing your Santa Claus bit this year?

That's a very long story.

So I'll tell you what.

If you'd like to come across the road, I'll stand you a glass and explain all.

What are your names then?

Alice May Mason, David William Mason.

And what would you like from Father Christmas?

All I want for Christmas is Daddy to come home.

Yes, he'll be home.

he said.

Be good and sure to tell them how much he loves them.

Please, Catherine.

Well,

what's

your favourite game, then? Hmm?

What is it?

Hmm?

I don't know.

I'll tell you what ours is.

Ours is called Pictorial Consequences. Do you know that game?

Hmm? And you think running away and having half the county police looking

you is going to make things better, do you?

No, I don't, Beth.

And you know I don't.

You're a fool.

You stupid, unthinking, inconsiderate, selfish fool!

I hope he hasn't had a bunk. No, no, no. He's in there. Just... Just give him a

minute.

Hello, Fred.

Happy Christmas.

Tell me.

I hope you're going to come along quietly.

Quiet at the church mouse, Fred.

That's it.

Merry Christmas. Merry

Christmas.

and a funny old Christmas Eve as Christmas Eve's go, isn't it?

Oh. Hmm.

Oh, by the way, I invited Mrs Mason and the kids for Christmas dinner tomorrow.

Oh, sure, good.

The more the merrier.

Yeah.

There'll be a lot of room, they said.

Mm -hm.

I'm beginning to wonder where we're going to put them all.

Hmm.

Oh, I just have to take a leaf out of the good book then, won't I?

Hmm. Hmm.

You know, no room at the inn.

Hmm? What did you think?

Hmm. Shut!

In conclusion, I would just like to say, as

you all know, I am not a religious man. But I would

like to take this opportunity to, well, to thank him up there

for giving us what we've got down here.

And what I mean by that, I mean, giving us...

The life that we need, the beautiful place in which we live in,

and also the beautiful people with whom we live it

with.

Oh, stop your pertinence.

Sit down, Sid, before you fall down.

No, no, no, not before I have said this one last thing.

Who wants some more of Miles' Christmas Pudding?