Original subtitles

Bit of an improvement.

Good as her word, is the old love patron.

Food was nice and all, wasn't it?

Can't you let us have a room?

Eh?

Yeah. How do you manage that?

Would you like to know?

No, I think the old patrone has taken a bit of a shine to me. Oh, yeah?

On account of my elevation to the peerage.

You what?

She thinks I'm a lord.

She does.

So does the bloke in the garage.

Lord Larkin. Can you imagine that? If we'd have been married, you'd have been

Lady Larkin.

More toast for Angela?

Yes. Please.

Oh, and another pot of tea, please, Cordelia. Six bags like before, s 'il

plaît.

Bonjour.

Oh, bonjour.

Encore a promising day.

Indian summer, more like.

Never mind. Snow is forecast.

What's he talking about? I forgot to tell you I saw Angela snow yesterday.

She's staying at a hotel in Ville de Fougere with her sister Iris.

She's a bit like a novice nun.

Yeah, she's a bit like a nun.

Ain't got none, don't want none, ain't likely to get none.

See you on the beach.

Yeah, right, see you on the beach.

Lying on the beach can become tedious.

Guess what I've got.

What? A timetable for the little train.

Great. I went up to the station early this morning while you were still

We could go later on.

Let's see.

There's an 11 .45.

No, no, that's an express.

Cuts out too many stations.

Here we are. 12 .10, the omnibus to Brest. All stations.

You'll love it, I guarantee.

Not today, Charlie.

We're here for a clear fortnight, Marriott.

Could he?

Well, then, no problem.

Plenty of time for tanning.

We'll catch the 12 .10.

You can go on your own, if you like.

Are you refusing to come?

Not refusing, Charlie. I'm just staying put.

Right, if that's what you want.

Remain here, sprawled on the sand, inert, indolent, indifferent to local

I'm going, even if you're not.

Enjoy your choo -choo, Charlie.

What's up with Charlie?

Oh, he's gone off in a huff.

To his chuff, chuff, chuff.

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour. Un billet pour le train de midi -dix, s 'il vous plaît. Oh, I am sorry,

monsieur, but today the 1210 will become the 110.

You mean an hour late?

Non, non, ce n 'est pas ça, monsieur.

We hope the 110 will arrive on time.

The 1210 is cancelled.

Oh,

very well.

Return to breath, please.

Deuxième classe. Bon, très bien. Bref, on retourne aux deuxièmes classes.

Why not wait in the cafe over there? I can recommend it. Merci.

Voilà.

Bon voyage.

Au revoir. Au revoir.

Bonjour. Bonjour.

English, eh?

Where is Gabi?

I haven't seen anybody yet.

Gabi! Where the hell are you, you little pimp?

Oh, the service is useless here.

I'd go to another bar if I were you.

I'm waiting for a train.

Oh, la pauvre.

That is another terrible service.

Is it as bad in England?

Our comedians would go out of business if it wasn't.

I'm Max to my friend. Maxime to idiot.

Charlie. Charlie.

At last.

What do you want?

Charlie. Oh, good, Charlie. You have to work.

Train with Charlie?

Bit late now.

Be halfway across Brittany.

Time for my train.

Oh, no, monsieur.

It has not even left Saint -Brieuc yet.

Encore la même chose?

Oui, why not?

And if you ask me if I did paint the mare in the nude, I claim the Fifth

Amendment.

Why

were

you born so masculine?

Why were you, chérie?

Brisson, are you... By any chance the skipper of a fishing vessel called La

Belle Mielle?

Oui, c 'est moi.

You're Marlarkin's handsome sailor.

Well, I never... Three fishers went sailing away to the west.

Away to the west as the sun went down.

Each thought of the woman who loved him the best.

C 'est joli, comme ça.

C 'est joli, comme ça.

Are you sure about the 110?

It will not be here for at least another 45 minutes.

Get this man a drink.

I will show you the best place to stand.

Is there a train coming?

I can't see one on the horizon, but it's due at any minute.

Oh, la, la.

What?

Charlie.

Ah! Oh! No!

Oh, dear, it's not fair.

You two would snort a Victor Barner, you would. Go on, then, you serve.

Come on, then.

Ah! Ah!

We've seen Charlie's drunk!

What? What's the matter? What's the matter? Say again, what's the matter

We've seen Charlie's drunk like Uncle Percy at Marriott's wedding.

Oh, my God.

Where is he, then?

Oh,

Charlie.

Cry now, gently.

What have you been up to?

Who are you?

Me? I am his father -in -law.

Ah, Pop Lockheed. Ah, the one who likes the cocktails.

Have you ever heard of a yellow hearth? Yellow hearth?

No, but it sounds like a killer to me.

Charlie, Charlie, come on, wake up.

Look at that. Look, he's had a skimful. Look at him, look. Poor Charlie, he's

missed it, Trey. We tried to wake him.

Just as well that you didn't. Voilà, monsieur.

Ah, oh, right, thank you.

Well,

cheers. Hey, hey, hey.

Grab down the hatch.

If you know, that is very, very bloody perfect.

Now, listen, you go upstairs, have 40 winks, and then you'll be as right as

rain.

Terrible thing, isn't it, Sunstroke?

Yes, get the bus.

Is he ill? No, no, he's fine, he's fine. It's just a question of low company and

high spirits, you know what I mean? It's all continental temptation.

Thank you.

I can manage by myself. Look, Charlie, you're... I'm perfectly all right. All

right, you say so. You're the boss.

Off you go, then.

Just send him up a nice pot of black coffee, please.

I'll have some sent up straight away. Merci.

Oh, excusez -moi. By the way, hardly recognised you with your new hairdo.

Très jolie.

Are you all right, Charlie?

Good boy.

I don't know.

Monsieur is going to the beach.

No, I'm just going to put the old wheelbarrow away first. He'll not have a

discreet word with you before you go. He's no more trouble with the passports,

is he? I think the salon is empty.

Very well.

My elder sister, Hortense, is nearly 70.

My younger sister is the waitress who served in this hotel, Cordelia.

Alas, Hortense is very ill, a bad heart.

Her husband Bernard was shot by the Germans in 1943.

He was in the resistance, a hero.

I'm sure a man such as yourself will understand.

and cooperate.

Cooperate?

A small deception, monsieur.

We do not want Artie, Artance, to die bitter.

Her husband received no recognition from the French government, although he

saved the lives of many men, some in the area, but did they award him a medal?

No.

Well, that's a...

It's a great shame, that, yeah.

A scandal!

And that, monsieur, is where you come in.

I do?

So you want me to present your sister with a scroll?

Oh, if you'd be so kind, my lord.

My friend George Carnot, inspector of police, is arranging the ceremony.

Oh, and one more thing.

I have to phone it to Carnot. Your proper title, is it Lord Sidcup or

Lord Larkin of Sidcup?

Yes, of Sidcup.

Yes, Sidcup, yes.

Then you will do it, my lord.

I knew I could count on you and the friendship that exists between our two

countries.

Like what's happening on the beach out there, eh?

Charlie?

muscle -bound dummies!

You're coming with me on the little train!

Hear that?

You're coming on the little train!

What was all that about?

Oh,

playing as a fine stuff!

I'm sorry, Daddy!

He wanted to go on the little train and she didn't!

It can't wait till you love someone.

Well, you've got a funny way of showing it, haven't you? Oh, psychology.

What do you mean?

Well, it's always on the telly.

It's their first wedding anniversary next week.

Yeah? They'll be making a little announcement soon, I shall wonder.

Oh, well.

Well, that'll be perfect. Hey, give me one.

Yeah, well, just a minute. Just look.

Well, the suit's fine, but what about these? I mean, they never believe I

brought these away on holiday with me.

Oh, it is what is expected of your lordship. The medals are of an

nobody will recognize.

All right, you're right.

I present to you the Lord Larkin of Sitco, son of the Queen of England and

member of the House of Lords of Westminster, London.

My Lord, my sister, Madame Hortense Fontanet, breve widow of

Bernard Geoffroy Fontanet.

On note, madame.

This document bears witness that the said Bernard Joffre Fontenay

performed such deeds without fear and consideration for his own safety to

personnel of the Royal Air Force to escape to freedom and to continue the

for the liberation of France.

This scroll is in his revered memory and thus presented this

day by me.

Sidney Charles Larkin.

Yours truly.

Bonjour, Primoz. Have a good time.

Where are you going, you two?

The June.

Oh, bonjour bien.

Primoz.

Au revoir.

Très bien, très bien, merci, my old firework.

Babe, you speak froggy. Yeah, well, I can count up to ten and ask for Vin

you know.

Oh, been dying to see you. Someone who's fun, and here you are.

Now I'm here.

We can have lunch.

What's this, uh, beau rivage place like?

Hmm? Oh, well, they do their best, but the food's not up to much. Oh, well,

it's off we go to Pierre's. Right.

Where's that, then?

Alfresco. Out by the dunes, edge of the forest.

Oh, what?

But, darling, we are looking a teeny -weeny bit bourgeois, aren't we?

What's with the gongs and flying the flag?

Joke. Yeah.

I'll explain it all over lunch.

And I'll get out of this suit and all. I've got a pair of shorts in the back.

Oh, that's better.

Two bloody steaks for two bloody English.

Fun, isn't it?

Must be a change from the Beau Rivage and the dreaded Mademoiselle Dupont,

darling. Do tell more about her.

Oh, old patron.

She's all right once you get to know her, you know.

Intimately? You haven't been fraternising there, have you? You know.

Now that, as they say, is pure conjecture.

Not so pure.

Am I naughty?

I'm all you need to be.

Is your Chateaubriand tough?

I'm all right.

I was here for it, so I don't know what.

Brumper Cheval, I expect.

No, what's that?

Horse.

Horse? How's that long shot?

Now, don't start complaining, shall we?

Pierre's very proud of his steaks.

Look, have some mustard with it.

Recommended for the sex life.

How are your bloody steak?

Oh, it's a winner. A winner?

I think he means it's a favourite.

Yeah, it's been that and all.

suggestion, Pierre.

I should have paid.

Oh, rhubarb.

Wonderful grub.

Epicure.

Trifle expensive, though.

Hmm. C 'est la vie.

Still, Pierre can buy himself a winner now, one that runs.

What did you say, chérie?

Hmm? I said no, I said it was very nice. I said it was fun.

Oh, rapture with you.

Ecstasy. My God, this is bliss, too.

Why don't you come and have a swim?

No, it's too soon after lunch.

Well, I'm going to be.

We do have my parents' blessing.

I'm sure it may as well come into it.

You must hope they're going to be avant -garde, early.

Oh, they're quite modern. Mary, it's proof of that. But they can also be very

strict. Disdon!

Sirene! A beautiful Sirene! Avec votre père!

Come on!

No, I can't! I haven't got a swimming costume!

You can't, Bob! Why?

Because I haven't found you until they do!

Oh, come on!

No!

You had a tree snob nosh up with Angela Snow.

Hmm. Place called Pierre's.

God, the food was brutal, I can tell you.

But not the company?

No.

Do you kiss her?

Well, you know Angela Snow.

I think she fancies me.

What? No, she's a bit of a cunt. She's a nice girl. I like her.

What are we going to do about Charlie and Mariette's wedding anniversary?

We'll get on to that tomorrow, if you like.

Oh, this reminds me.

Angela says she'll be coming over with her sister Iris for tea.

All right, if you like.

Oh, dear.

Oh,

right.

I think he's safe, son.

If you do like.

It's you, Milord.

Oh, yes.

Sorry to disturb you. Not at all.

How resplendent in your robe.

When I see you in that, I can see you in your other robes.

Oh, yeah.

I was on the prowl for some champagne.

There.

Oh, perfect.

Champagne for a nightcap.

Who can match the panache of the English aristocracy?

Yes, well, merci.

Monsieur Mollet tells me he was so imposing at the ceremony for his sister.

Oh, well, you know.

Why weren't you there?

I hated Bernard Fontenay. Even at 50, he was always trying to molest young

girls, including me.

Oh, well, that wasn't on his citation.

Still, you're none the worse for it, mademoiselle.

What is wrong?

Nothing.

Sweet dreams.

Will you, Milo?

Pop! Not a word.

I told you in private.

I need to talk to you about going home.

Oh, yeah?

What about it?

Pop, do I have to go home?

Must I go home?

My boyfriend, Mark Antoine, talked to his parents and I could stay with them

Paris.

Well, Paris is a long way, sweetheart.

We need some thinking about.

In case you're worried about sex, we have it at school.

Pardon?

Well, are you worried about sex?

In biology.

Oh.

I don't teach him sex in French schools, though.

Don't I?

How do you know?

Because I asked Mark Antoine.

Oh. And he was awfully surprised we had it so soon.

Was he?

Anyway, he was very interested.

Was he?

He was keen that we should get to know each other better.

Was he?

Pop.

Look. Poppet, these things can't be rushed.

I mean about you going to Paris and staying with the family and that.

I know.

We'd better talk to Mar.

I already have.

She said it was up to you.

Oh, did she?

I tell you what.

Why don't we sleep on it tonight and then we'll talk about it again in the

morning?

Pop. Hmm?

You and I best have a chat about something else.

I was in the jeans this afternoon.

I never knew you could swim.

Here.

No. You never told me that our daughter, Primrose...

Charlie, you're married yet?

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Well, that is perfect.

Yes. Oh, that is clever.

How did you get such a good likeness without them knowing?

Well, I made a sketch of them on the beach when they were not aware of me.

that'll make a smashing anniversary present.

Oh, yes, lovely, really.

Oh, I'm glad you like it. Oh, yes.

Your old amour -pop is full of good ideas, you know. Yeah, well, with the

of a couple of my yellow horses, you know what I mean.

Voilà. Now we can write down the suggestion.

Yes.

Mademoiselle.

Merci.

Beaucoup.

The first thing is, how many people?

Well, we thought there'd be about a dozen in all, including yourself, of

That is very kind of you, but I expect I'll be in and out of the kitchen to

Alphonse. Oh.

Alphonse is my chef.

How are the anniversary pair?

Oh, not a pair in love, but they're on the beach today.

See, this dinner's a surprise for them.

Now, what do you wish to start with?

Well, if it's a big meal, I always think that raw vegetables, crudités... Are

much too crude.

Thank you, Iris.

Something fun.

Daring.

Decadent.

Melon with port.

Mmm. Perfect. Bang on target. That means you can eat and get drunk at the same

time.

Melon au porto.

Ah, oui. J 'ai un très bon melon charentais.

This is Alphonse.

Mesdames. Monsieur.

Alphonse Mouille. Ils ont mes peregrines.

Oui. Banière de Bigorre.

Oh, just by Lourdes.

Yes. A côté de Lourdes.

Oh, how wonderful. Wonderful, you must tell me all about it. I've been longing

to go.

It's a bit like Stratford -upon -Avon, aren't you? Oh, no, I don't.

Perhaps Alphonse would like to suggest a fish course.

Well, my speciality is les filets de sol aux truffes.

Ce sont des petits filets bien revenus au beurre, arrosés de vin blanc avec des

truffes, and other delicious things.

C 'est très bon.

With pommes frites.

If you must.

Who would like your cognac? Oh, rather.

No, thanks, I don't drink. Knocked back the communion wine, though.

Great gusto.

Flirted it.

Now, the main course.

Well, ma and me think we ought to go for a popular vote. You know, something to

include the kids.

I know.

Custard and jelly.

Yeah? Yes, just the frasters.

We thought for the main course we ought to have roast beef and Yorkshire

pudding.

If you insist.

J 'ai du contre -filet. Oh, yeah.

What about Yorkshire pudding?

But what is this Yorkshire pudding?

It's a kind of special batter. If you didn't know how to do it, I could do it

for you. Nonsense.

Yorkshire pudding is my forte.

I will help Alphonse in the kitchen.

Yes? You helped me make this thing called Yorkshire pudding? I worked as a

last year at the World Church's Ecumenical Conference at River Abbey.

I made enough Yorkshire pudding to line the cricket pitch at Headingley.

Culinary shock.

Scream.

Super. Well, cheers.

Down to the etch.

Down to the etch.

Down to the etch.

Just

a

soup or more of quiche.

I think we're there. Voilà.

The punch is very English, is it not?

Oh, yes.

It's like crumpets, tea and fog.

And served in castles, I have read.

Yes, we always drink this when we entertain.

Would you like a thimble for us? Of course.

A votre santé, milord.

And you, Antoinette.

Parfait. Or should I say, perfect.

Perfect.

Closed.

Closed? Why?

Staff shortage.

But you're here.

I am on reception.

Monsieur Mollet engaged otherwise.

We only want a cup of tea, Cordelia.

We'll have it in the salle à manger.

Ah, no, that is closed also.

As usual, until dinner.

So where can we have a cup of tea?

In your room?

I bring it up.

I thought this hotel didn't do room service.

Ce soir, I make exception.

Well, I think everything is ready in time.

Just one thing.

Tomorrow you will be back in England, in your chateau.

Every Englishman's home is his castle, they say.

Un petit cadeau.

A parting gift for you.

From what?

Oui.

Oh, there he is.

Well, then.

Chic.

Trace knob.

You will wear them tonight?

Of course.

Nothing will stop me.

And... Merci beaucoup.

It's been a beautiful day, Charlie.

Did you really like the little train?

I missed it for the world.

The hotel's quiet.

I wonder where everyone is.

One, two, three, breathe in. Oh.

Oh. Here.

Great.

Aren't you going to wear a tie?

No, all goes to him.

Ready for the oven.

Yes,

sir.

Oh, it looks really kind of creamy right here.

Time to go and join your friends. Now your kitchen duties are over, but

A salute with La Ponce to the Yorkshire pudding.

To the Yorkshire?

Oh, tastes like lemonade.

Yes, like lemonade.

Good evening, sir, madame.

Happy anniversary.

Oh, thank you, Monsieur Moulet.

Where is everyone?

I thought we were going to have a family drink before dinner.

Since the hotel is so quiet, drinks are in here tonight, monsieur.

Ladies and gentlemen,

mesdames, messieurs.

No speeches.

No, no speeches.

It's just that I'd like to welcome some of our special guests here with us

tonight.

I'd like to welcome Mark, Antoine, Mum and Dad, God bless them, and

Mademoiselle Dupont, our host, and Angela, my dear old firework,

and her sister Iris.

And, of course, Max, who painted this absolute wonderful work of art.

And now I'd like you all to join me in a toast to the

anniversary couple, Charlie and Mariette. To Charlie and Mariette!

For they are jolly good fellows, for they are jolly good fellows.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

And so say all of us.

Le rosebif!

Un petit morceau, mademoiselle.

Nice. Only nice?

Love it.

What is it, Iris?

Wonderful, Alphonse.

Mesdames et messieurs, thank you very much indeed.

I couldn't have done better myself.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

This is our usual Sunday dinner at home. Glad you liked it.

Liked it? We haven't had a meal like this for a long time.

Shopkeeper. Living from out in the mouth, I suppose.

Good to see them tucking in.

Yeah.

You

sure

you want jelly and custard?

Say,

jelly's here.

Mm.

Very, very fun.

Pathetic. Like a pale kid.

Perfect, Pop.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's just what I was thinking.

Hey, maybe you'd better have a dance with Doris DuPont, me lord.

Show her your company.

Oh, all right.

I will.

See, what would I look like in a man suit?

Charlie Chaplin.

Can't we give a nicer place for our anniversary, Charlie?

I knew you'd like the beaux rivages.

One way or another.

Aha!

Come and have a dance, Alphonse, even with your money dancing.

Too energetic.

I need some air.

Kitchen is hot spot for chef.

Oh, of course. Poor fuck.

He breathes would do good.

When they thrill to romance, so they say, Seaborn.

Such a splendid way to mark the end of the season, is it not?

Hmm. One big family party.

Yes. And thanks to you, my lord, it's been just like old times at the Boreval.

Dancing in here, and two Rolls Royce parked outside. Oh.

Two Rolls, is it? Hmm.

Here. Has your dad got his wagon bolt outside?

No. This wagon isn't fine.

He only uses the Rolls Royce on holidays.

Smile, Millionaire Pop.

Perfect.

I saw you

kissing Angela Snow on the porch.

Oh, did I kiss her on both cheeks?

No, I did, like any proper host would do.

Anyway, she was only thanking me for rescuing her sister from the sea and

that... that randy chef, what's his name, Alfonso. Oh, you spoilsport.

Oh, OK.

And what about Mademoiselle Dupont?

What? On both cheeks, twice.

Yeah, well, you know, I was only thanking her for the present with them

couplets, you know.

Is that you, Lord?

Au revoir, then.

Yes.

You come and visit us one of these days, eh?

I should like that, me love.

Au revoir, then.

We must start on the winter refurbishment.

Oh, slow down. Look, there's primrose in market.

To

give

a hook up.

Some French air, isn't it? I expect it is.

Perfect.