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♪ MTV
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00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447
♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna have myself a time
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00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
5
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
6
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,024
♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
7
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
10
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,682
♪ I'm headin' on
down to South Park ♪
11
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811
♪ Gonna see if
I can't unwind ♪
12
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293
♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
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♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪
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Alexa, put on 90.1.
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00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,790
Got it.
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Now playing radio
station 90.1 FM.
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What the fuck?
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00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,546
Mom, something's wrong
with my favorite show.
19
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:09,852
It's just, like, static.
20
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,157
Your favorite show?
21
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,464
Yeah, NPR, National
Public Radio,
22
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,817
where all the liberals
bitch and whine about stuff.
23
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,118
Something's wrong with it.
24
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,122
Oh, sweetie, the
president canceled NPR.
25
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,955
What do you mean, the
president canceled NPR?
26
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,299
That was, like, the
funniest shit ever.
27
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,649
I don't know what
to tell you, hon.
28
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,522
Oh, my God.
29
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,741
You guys!
30
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,095
You guys are not
gonna believe this.
31
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,529
The president of the
United States canceled NPR.
32
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,748
-What's NPR?
-What's NPR?
33
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,314
The funniest show ever
where all the lesbians
34
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,751
and Jews complain about stuff?
35
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,709
The fucking president
had it taken off the air!
36
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,455
I mean, who the hell does
this president think he is?
37
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,279
The government can't
cancel the show.
38
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,151
I mean, what show are
they gonna cancel next?
39
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,805
It was seriously the best show.
40
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,680
It had, like, gay rappers
from Mexico all sad
41
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,334
because girls in Pakistan
got stoned to death.
42
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,504
And guess why they
got stoned to death?
43
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,811
'Cause they were raped!
44
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,986
It was hilarious. Why
would anyone cancel that?
45
00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,210
I don't know about you,
but I'm worried about
46
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,293
what this country's coming to.
47
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,614
It seems like
everybody's changing
48
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,426
and suddenly woke
stuff is off limits.
49
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,042
I mean, it's like now
everyone rips on the Jews,
50
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:05,951
and it's totally fine.
51
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,127
Huh, Kyle?
52
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,346
See?
53
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,566
What's wrong with Kyle?
54
00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,175
Everybody's given up.
55
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,655
Attention, students.
56
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,659
There will be a mandatory
assembly this morning.
57
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All students report
to the gym, mkay?
58
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,576
Oh, boy, PC Principal.
59
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,231
He's not given up.
60
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,409
All right, everyone, listen up.
61
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,540
Everybody, quiet!
62
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,240
There's some bull crap
going on in this country,
63
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,594
and I am not going
to let it corrupt
64
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157
the environment at this school!
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00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071
Oh, here we go.
66
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,594
Now, I don't know about
you, but I'm sick and tired
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00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,600
of the way people are treated
68
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,467
and mocked for
being compassionate.
69
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,642
It is out of control!
70
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,906
There's only one thing that
can bring some normality
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00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,647
back to these corrupt times.
72
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,779
And that is...
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00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,564
our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ.
74
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,479
What?
75
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,917
This school has traded
truth for comfort
76
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,441
and worships idols
of self and sin.
77
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,617
We were a nation under God,
but now we spit in His face
78
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,401
and wonder why
everything's falling apart.
79
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,620
There's only one way back...
80
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,839
repent, bow to Christ,
81
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,625
or be swept away with the
rest of the godless lies.
82
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,671
What the hell, dude?
83
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,673
In order to turn things around,
84
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,676
I'm going to be a Power
Christian Principal.
85
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You can call me PC Principal.
86
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,464
So now, I'd like you all
to put your hands together
87
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,206
in welcoming Christ our Lord.
88
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,428
Hello, my children.
89
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,475
I am the light and the way.
90
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,955
Fellas, what the
fuck is going on?
91
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,349
Yea, it is wonderful to be here,
92
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,222
for where two or three
gather in my name,
93
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there am I with them.
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That's right!
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That's right. Let's go, Jesus.
96
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:47,792
Fuck yeah!
97
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,889
So how was your day, guys?
98
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,239
Anything fun happen at school?
99
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,892
No, not really.
100
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,591
Uh, Jesus showed up.
101
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,636
Jesus?
102
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,944
Yeah.
103
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,251
What's Jesus doing
in your school?
104
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687
I don't know.
105
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,212
I don't think Jesus is
allowed to be in schools.
106
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,041
Yeah, well, he was there.
107
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,653
Well, I think I'm gonna have
to talk to somebody about this.
108
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,134
Hey, uh, how's it going?
109
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:28,746
Um, is Jesus supposed to
be allowed in schools?
110
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,577
Generally, the
idea is that public schools
111
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,884
have to maintain a separation
of church and state,
112
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,756
so they can't promote
any one religion.
113
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,322
Yeah, that's what I thought.
114
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,107
The government can't force
a religion on my son.
115
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,723
Public schools
can teach about religions
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00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,677
in a neutral educational way,
117
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,940
but they can't endorse
any particular one.
118
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,682
Was it a lesson on
all world religions?
119
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,249
Uh, no.
120
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,078
My son said that Jesus was
literally at his school.
121
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,866
Then you're probably
right to be concerned.
122
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,173
It's good you're looking out
for your son's education.
123
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,739
Thanks.
124
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,957
It's really nice to have someone
125
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,569
to talk to about all this.
126
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,570
No worries.
127
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,745
Let me know if there's
any other way I can help.
128
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:12,747
I'm always here.
129
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,444
You're so awesome. Thanks.
130
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,360
Good night, honey.
131
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,969
Have a great sleep,
132
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,971
and I'm sure you'll do more
amazing things tomorrow.
133
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,105
Ah.
134
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,116
-Butters!
-Ahh!
135
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,726
Butters, get over here.
136
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,429
What did I tell you,
man? This shit is wack!
137
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,861
PC Principal?
138
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,471
If he's changed,
then there's no hope!
139
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,300
I think I know what's happening.
140
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,780
I think woke is dead.
141
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,566
Woke is dead?
142
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,612
It's dead, Butters. It's gone!
143
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,789
You can just say retarded
now. Nobody cares.
144
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,007
Everyone hates the Jews.
145
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,053
Everyone's fine with
using gay slurs.
146
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,446
Oh. Well, that's not good.
147
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,230
No, it's terrible!
148
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,797
'Cause now I don't know...
149
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,408
what I'm supposed to do.
150
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,982
Eric?
151
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,254
More protests today
152
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,033
as the government pushes
harder for Christianity
153
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,861
in our nation's schools.
154
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,560
The president stated earlier
today that the spirit of Jesus
155
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,127
is important to our country,
156
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,869
and he will sue anyone who
doesn't agree with him.
157
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,263
What the hell is
this president doing?
158
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,091
He doesn't even act
like a Christian.
159
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,832
Why is he pushing
it on our kids?
160
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,224
I told you this was
all gonna be bad,
161
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,009
but a lot of you
here voted for him.
162
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,445
Yeah, I voted for him,
163
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,753
but all I've seen him do
is arrest and sue people.
164
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,494
I voted for him to get
rid of all the woke stuff.
165
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,627
But now that retarded
faggot is just putting money
166
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:51,889
in his own pockets.
167
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,063
-Yeah!
-That's right!
168
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,500
Are we just gonna sit here
169
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,067
and let him break
every rule of freedom?
170
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,025
-No!
-No way!
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00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,287
Well, come on!
172
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,374
Let's go get that
son of a bitch.
173
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,334
Yeah!
174
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,465
Yeah!
175
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,597
Come on! Come on,
let's go get him!
176
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,295
Come on, let's get him!
177
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,818
-Let's go get him!
-Come on, let's get him!
178
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,257
Come on out, you piece of shit.
179
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,781
We're unelecting you.
180
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,573
Excuse me. Do you mind?
181
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,969
What the hell do you think
you're doing, Garrison?
182
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,103
I'm not doing anything.
183
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,843
Oh, so you haven't been
looting the country
184
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,106
and ruling by fear
185
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:38,108
like some Middle
Eastern tinpot dictator?
186
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,981
No, I've been sitting here
187
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,809
watching "White
Lotus" with Rick.
188
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,117
But you got re-elected.
189
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,684
He hasn't been back to
Washington in years.
190
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991
He gave all that up.
191
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,340
He's been really good.
192
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,474
But if he's here,
193
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,520
then who's the retarded faggot
194
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,695
in the White House?
195
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,484
Uh-huh.
196
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,050
Yeah.
197
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,878
OK.
198
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,577
Mr. President, sir, the
prime minister of Canada
199
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,013
is here to see you.
200
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,101
Mr. President, why
are you placing
201
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,798
these new tariffs on Canada?
202
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,061
What are you, some kind of
dictator from the Middle East?
203
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,239
A dictator from the Middle East?
204
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,981
Hey, relax, guy.
205
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,462
I'm just your average
Joe. Take a rest.
206
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,986
The people of Canada will
not be devalued like this.
207
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,466
Aw, come on.
208
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,685
You don't want me to
bomb you like I did Iraq.
209
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,774
I thought you just bombed Iran.
210
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,297
Iran, Iraq... what the
hell's the difference?
211
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,821
Relax, guy.
212
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999
Hey! Hey!
213
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653
What the fuck is this, buddy?
214
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,264
This is the painting
you asked for, sir.
215
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,961
Why is my dick so small?
216
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,354
But that's the size
it is in the photo.
217
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:51,747
Get this guy out of here!
218
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:52,922
I'm gonna sue you!
219
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,271
I'm gonna sue both of you.
220
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,317
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
221
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,802
Nobody makes fun of me
and gets away with it.
222
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,371
Hey, Satan!
223
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,765
I don't want to right now.
224
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,941
What? Hey, relax.
225
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,987
Come on, Satan. I've been
working hard all day.
226
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,684
You haven't been working.
227
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,908
You've been doing your stupid
memes and just fuckin' around.
228
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,209
Come here, guy.
229
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,646
Aw, come on, Satan.
230
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,560
You know you can't resist this.
231
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,520
I can't even see
anything, it's so small.
232
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,175
Hey! I'll fucking sue you!
233
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,220
God, fuck you!
234
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,525
Aw, come on, Satan.
235
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,701
Don't be like that.
236
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,010
Eric?
237
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,145
Come on, Eric.
238
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,495
You... you can't keep
doing this to yourself.
239
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,498
I used to laugh, Butters.
240
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,455
I used to have fun.
241
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197
But now they've taken that away.
242
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,506
I'm not special anymore.
243
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,901
So what's the point
in me even existing?
244
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,466
Eric, what are you saying?
245
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,906
I'm saying that it's
the end, Butters.
246
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734
I'm gonna kill myself,
247
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,257
and you.
248
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,258
Wait, me?
249
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,825
It's a suicide pact, Butters.
250
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,043
It's just best we end it now.
251
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,263
No, Eric, listen to me.
252
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,872
Woke isn't dead.
253
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,527
It's still out there, somewhere,
254
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,224
just waiting to come back.
255
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,704
-It's not coming back.
-It's waiting to come back!
256
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,925
It's like a little tiny light
that's gonna shine again.
257
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,447
You just gotta
give it some time.
258
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,276
I hope you're right, Butters.
259
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:12,279
But if it doesn't come
back by, like, Tuesday,
260
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,673
I'm killing us both.
261
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:21,070
Mr. Marsh, I've called
you into my office
262
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,072
because I understand
that you have a problem
263
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,510
with Jesus in our schools.
264
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,557
I don't have a problem with it.
265
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,167
I mean, I think
it's kind of weird.
266
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,213
Well, Mr. Mackey says
you were bullying Jesus
267
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:36,346
and wouldn't let him sit at
your table in the cafeteria.
268
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,132
What? I didn't bully him.
269
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,569
Craig told him our table
was full, which it was.
270
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,005
Mr. Marsh, Christ died for
your sins, and he loves us all.
271
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,574
There's only one truth,
one cross, and one savior.
272
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,271
And you will find
him in your heart.
273
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:49,925
PC Principal?
274
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,798
Power Christian Principal, yes?
275
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,016
What happened?
276
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890
What... what
happened with what?
277
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,935
Well, you used to
be, like, super woke.
278
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545
And then starting last November,
279
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,111
you started acting weird.
280
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,592
And now you're super Christian.
281
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:10,033
I just realized that the
side I was on was hopeless.
282
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,948
And in times of hopelessness,
one finds Christ.
283
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,037
Come to him, all
who are heavy laden,
284
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,388
and he shall give you rest.
-And I shall give you rest.
285
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,825
Dude, what's going on?
286
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,217
Like, none of this seems normal.
287
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,565
That's the kind of attitude
288
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,393
we are not gonna
tolerate at this school!
289
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,395
And, Mr. Marsh, if you
don't accept Christ,
290
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,921
then I'm gonna
have to expel you.
291
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,836
K, I'm pretty sure
you can't do that.
292
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,358
Like, I think that's illegal.
293
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,316
No, Mr. Marsh, it's
not illegal anymore.
294
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,362
This is 2025, K?
295
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,625
And not much is illegal.
296
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,851
I accept Christ into my heart.
297
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544
And into your school.
298
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,850
And in my school.
299
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,290
And at your table
in the cafeteria.
300
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,854
There wasn't any room
at my table... ah.
301
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,769
And at my table
in the cafeteria.
302
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,032
Yay.
303
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,425
♪ Oh! ♪
304
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,426
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
305
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,387
♪ We're bringing back Christ ♪
306
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,216
♪ There's money in Christ ♪
307
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,220
♪ Bringing back Christ
308
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,615
♪ Christ makes the money ♪
309
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:15,098
♪ Christ makes the money
310
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,404
♪ Christ makes the money ♪
311
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,450
Mr. President, a lot
of your supporters
312
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,887
are starting to
turn against you.
313
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,932
Hey, tell them to take a rest.
314
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,673
Sir, can you please
talk to them?
315
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,413
They're really riled up.
316
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,676
All right, give me that.
317
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,677
Hey, relax, guys.
318
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,159
Yeah, hi, uh, what do
you think you're doing?
319
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,464
Our children are being
told that they have to sit
320
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,989
with Jesus at lunchtime.
321
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991
Listen, buddy, you
just need to relax.
322
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,518
All this protesting
makes me look bad.
323
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,994
Just take a rest.
324
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,909
Well, no, we're not
gonna give it a rest.
325
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,431
All the people
here in South Park
326
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,347
want some goddamn answers.
327
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,609
All right, then I'm gonna
sue your whole town.
328
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,873
You got that? $5 billion.
329
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,614
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
330
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,486
What'd he say?
331
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,924
He said he's suing
us for $5 billion.
332
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,928
Fucking stupid idiots.
333
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,798
Think they can
mess with me, huh?
334
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,151
Hey, Satan.
335
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,109
I'm not in the mood right now.
336
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,676
Another random bitch
commented on my Instagram
337
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,375
that you're on the Epstein list.
338
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,679
The Epstein list?
339
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,117
Are we still talking
"a boot" that?
340
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,032
Well, are you on
the list or not?
341
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,684
It's weird that
whenever it comes up,
342
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,513
you just tell everyone to relax.
343
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,427
I'm not telling
everyone to relax.
344
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,126
Relax, guy!
345
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,606
No, I need counseling.
346
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,520
You remind me more and
more of this other guy
347
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,523
I used to date, like, a lot.
348
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,047
Like, you guys
are exactly alike.
349
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,095
I love you.
350
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,489
Ugh.
351
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,230
Come on, Satan.
352
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,669
Vroom! Pew!
353
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,844
Oh, no!
354
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,410
Vroom!
355
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,804
Butters, honey, your little
friend Cartman is here.
356
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,110
He said it's Tuesday,
and you guys have plans.
357
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,548
Eric?
358
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,940
Oh, no.
359
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,378
Well, um, can you
tell him I'm not home?
360
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,120
Butters, don't be antisocial.
361
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,861
Go play with your friend.
362
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,646
He's out in the garage playing
in our car with a hose.
363
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:10,647
Oh, no!
364
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742
Oh, God, Eric!
365
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,006
Hey, Butters, come on in.
366
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,399
Eric, no! Get out of there!
367
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,357
That side's locked, Butters.
368
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,924
You gotta get on the other side.
369
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,290
Eric, you don't have to do this!
370
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,233
-Close the door, Butters!
-You can't give up...
371
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,364
You're letting
all the fumes out!
372
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,540
Shut the fucking door!
-OK, fine!
373
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,369
You can't just give up
like everyone else has.
374
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,631
Butters, it's over.
375
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,892
You really wanna
sit around for weeks
376
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,589
waiting for a slow demise?
377
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,113
-Well, no.
-Well, neither do I!
378
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,462
This is taking too long.
379
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,031
Here you go, Butters.
380
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,684
Buckle up. We're in
for the last ride.
381
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,122
All right, fine.
382
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,822
Suck it in, Butters.
383
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,388
We're heading for that big
woke kingdom in the sky.
384
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,955
OK, then.
385
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,529
This is "60 Minutes."
386
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,965
Oh, boy.
387
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,141
Oh, shit.
388
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,448
Uh, oh, God.
389
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,929
The small town of
South Park, Colorado
390
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,365
is protesting against
the president.
391
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,411
The townspeople claim
that the president...
392
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,978
who is a great man...
393
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415
-A great man.
-Great guy.
394
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,894
We know he's probably watching.
395
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,419
And, uh, we are just reporting
on this town in Colorado
396
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,248
that's being sued
by the president
397
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,031
and they are fighting back.
398
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,728
And just to be clear, we
don't agree with them.
399
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,122
No, no, no, no.
400
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,081
We think these protesters
are total retards.
401
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,300
But our own Jim Conner has more.
402
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,650
Uh... oh, God.
403
00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,174
Uh... uh, Tom, I'm here
with the townspeople
404
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654
speaking out against
the president.
405
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,743
It all started when
a father got upset
406
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,484
that Jesus was being forced
on his son at school.
407
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,009
Young Stan Marsh is questioning
the president's policies.
408
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,707
I don't know.
409
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,017
You know, I don't know why
he's questioning the president.
410
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,884
He's probably a
faggot or something.
411
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,496
But the townspeople say they
owe the president nothing.
412
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,325
We aren't gonna be told
what to do by anyone.
413
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,545
We all know the woke
stuff went too far,
414
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,330
but the answer isn't going
too far the other way.
415
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,159
It's not a bad thing to have a
little compassion for people.
416
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,988
It's not a bad thing to care
a little for the environment.
417
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,468
The Stotch family
is proud to say
418
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,818
that we own an electric car.
419
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,871
Boy, this sure is
taking a long time.
420
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:30,353
Yeah, the human body
does everything it can
421
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,659
in the final stages to
try and cling to life.
422
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,575
Shouldn't be much longer now.
423
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:35,928
Things
are really heating up
424
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,752
in the small town of South Park.
425
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:40,668
More and more citizens
are uniting in solidarity
426
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,539
against what they call the
president's oppression.
427
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,281
The townspeople are saying
things are never hopeless,
428
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,110
that they must all stand strong
429
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,372
for what they believe in.
430
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,766
We're in this for
the long haul, guys.
431
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,594
This is about what's right.
432
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:57,293
And we will fight, even
if we have to do it alone.
433
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,471
Wait, we don't have
to do it alone.
434
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,691
Look!
435
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,652
It's Jesus!
436
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,355
Let us break bread.
437
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,835
Break bread with me.
438
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,273
This is my body, given for you.
439
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,928
Do this in remembrance of me.
440
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,891
Now just eat the
bread, and listen.
441
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,461
I didn't wanna come back
and be in the school,
442
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,420
but I had to because it
was part of a lawsuit
443
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,466
and the agreement
with Paramount.
444
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,424
The president's suing you?
445
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,339
The guy
can do whatever he wants now
446
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,212
that someone backed down, OK?
447
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,778
Eat the bread. Eat the bread.
448
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,346
You guys saw what
happened to CBS?
449
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,393
Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?
450
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,002
Paramount!
451
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,005
Do you really wanna
end up like Colbert?
452
00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:00,182
You guys gotta
stop being stupid.
453
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,228
We can't understand you.
454
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,532
Just shut up,
455
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,014
or we're going to get
canceled, you idiots.
456
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,449
What the
hell is he saying?
457
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540
Tom, they're calling it
the Sermon on the Mount.
458
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,673
Hundreds of South Park faithful
are flocking to the area
459
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:17,459
where Jesus Christ continues
to speak his words of wisdom.
460
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,553
If someone
has the power of the presidency
461
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,291
and also has the power
to sue and take bribes,
462
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,380
then he can do
anything to anyone!
463
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,469
It's the fucking
president, dude.
464
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,169
All of you, shut the fuck
up, or South Park is over.
465
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,605
It's fucking over.
466
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,737
Just stop and shut the fuck up.
467
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,697
Ye... yes, sir.
468
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,351
OK.
469
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,831
Absolutely.
470
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,398
Yes, thank you, Mr. President.
471
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,356
We'll be happy to pay that, sir.
472
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,574
Yes, sir. I...
473
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,230
I will relax, and
I'll take a rest.
474
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,187
Yes, thank you.
475
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,319
Thank you very much.
476
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,626
OK, we settled.
477
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,980
Oh, we settled.
478
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,281
Thank God.
479
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,372
I got the president
down to $3.5 million.
480
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,808
$3.5 million? That's...
that's not so bad.
481
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,680
That's really fair.
I think that's fair.
482
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334
We'll just have to
cut some funding
483
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,857
for our schools and
hospitals and roads,
484
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,642
and that should be that.
-Yeah.
485
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:10,861
OK.
486
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,081
Yeah, well, that's
not quite all.
487
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,518
As part of the settlement,
we also had to agree
488
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,694
to doing pro-Trump messaging.
489
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,870
How are we supposed to
do pro-Trump messaging?
490
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,220
Oh, come on, guys.
491
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,265
We're South Park!
492
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,484
We can do it.
493
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:25,920
-Yeah. All right.
-He's right.
494
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,878
-We just gotta work together.
-Yeah!
495
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,444
-All right!
-Yeah! Yeah!
496
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,018
Who walked
through the desert for you?
497
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,501
Who survived the wilderness
498
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,591
and gave the ultimate sacrifice?
499
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:48,420
When things heat up, who will
deliver us from temptation?
500
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,295
Donald J. Trump.
501
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:58,561
No matter how hot it gets,
502
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:02,130
he's not afraid to
fight for America.
503
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,961
With conviction, discipline,
and trust in God,
504
00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,441
he survived the desert.
505
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:21,280
I'm Donald J. Trump,
and I endorse this message.
506
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,022
Trump...
507
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,503
his penis is teeny tiny,
508
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,332
but his love for us is large.
509
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:48,176
Oh, I think I might be going.
510
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,570
Yep, sweet
death is about to come.
511
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,700
I love you, man.
36576
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