Original subtitles

Previously on Ed... I'm screwed.

Calm down, you're not screwed.

You're not screwed. I'm screwed. I was thinking New York City in a week, and

I got a proposal stuck within 48 hours. I'm screwed. I need a plan.

Carol! I'm going back to New York, Ed. I came here with one simple question.

What are we doing? And I've gotten everything but an answer.

Until now.

Carol Bessie, will you marry me?

Oh my God, I love you.

Really, yes.

That is most definitely a yes.

I love this town. You can get meat on every

street corner. I hate to burst your bubble, but we did an expose on street

Uh -huh. Not good.

I don't believe it. No, I believe it. I just choose not to acknowledge it.

Yeah. Do you think you could send me some more of my clothes? I know that the

move's in three weeks, but I feel like people at the office are going to notice

I'm wearing the same thing. Hello.

Absolutely. Every day, over and over.

Anything for my fiancé.

Ooh.

My fiancé. It just comes trippingly off the tongue. Very nice.

This is my fiancé.

Yeah. About that. One other thing.

Yeah? Would you mind talking to my dad? I know it's really old -fashioned. What

do I mean the world to him if he, like, asked for my hand in marriage? That kind

of thing. You know?

Oh, my goodness gracious sakes. How could I forget that?

It's not a big deal. It really isn't. One of the most crucial steps there is.

don't believe this. What in tarnation am I thinking? No, I blanked. I choked. I

blanked and choked and blanked and choked again. This is unbelievable. You

what? Yes, I will talk with your father first thing.

One more thing.

What? Do you think you could maybe not really mention that I'm already sort of

your kind of, well, officially your fiancé?

Yeah, that might make things a little trickier, right? A little.

Yeah, it's just after everything we had with Dad and Dennis.

But not that this is even remotely the same thing, because it's not remotely

same thing. It's completely... Take care.

I can keep by your side watching

T -H -U -N -D for ton.

Turd on hundred.

Mike, put away the word jumble. We need to talk about the house.

Nerd it?

I got the check from the insurance company, which covers cost of

Now, I spoke to a couple contractors, and I guess basically we just need to

one. Thunder.

Thunder, Nance.

Kaboom. T -H -U -N -D -E -R.

Sorry.

So, listen.

I'm thinking it might be fun if we put in a pizza oven.

A pizza oven.

A pizza oven. Mike, now is not the time to screw around. I want to move in as

soon as possible. Come on. We've got to remodel the kitchen anyway. Why not put

in a pizza oven while we're at it? Maybe because the house almost burned down.

Plus, we're spending enough as it is.

Actually, pizza ovens are quite reasonable. I think you'd be surprised.

Think about it. It's great. Thanks, honey.

Hey. Morning, Burton.

Hey. Hey, Mike.

Hey. Hey.

The city that never sleeps. It was awesome. Thanks for asking. Yeah, the

process has officially begun, folks. Yeah, and Carol?

Also excellent. Also, thank you for asking. No, thank you for letting us

here, Eddie. I know it's kind of a bad time.

Ah. It'd have to be one cold bastard to shut us out.

Mi casa es su casa.

How about Applejack? Let's do Applejack. Me Applejack?

You serious?

Yep. Warren somehow managed to weasel his way into representing Stuckyville

in our state's capital. Some kind of BS educational forum or something.

What? Hey, how's it going?

What is so funny?

You don't want to know.

Okay, what are you doing?

Nothing, dude. Just making our way down the hall. Same as you.

Hey, man. What?

Man, did you guys get lost again? I know it can be like a big, confusing school.

Quick question.

How did you get so damn sexy?

Ben, stop.

Let's just go to class.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it.

Work it. Oh, it hurts. It is so sexy.

This should be good.

Quick question regarding the question for your dad. Now, do I memorize

or do I play this whole thing by ear?

Short and sweet, honey. You'll be fine.

See, I feel I need a little structure. You know, a little structure, some loose

framework, bullet points.

Honey, just be yourself.

Honestly, relax.

What do I call him? Dick? No, Richard. No, you know what? I'll call him Mr.

Vesey. Let him upgrade me to Richard. That's the thing.

No, I agree with that. No, listen, honey, I got to go. I really do.

What's our code here? Are we casual? Are we all casual? You know, beer, pool,

sports bar? Or, you know, do I formal it up?

Either way is fine. Beer and pool. Beer and pool.

I know. I just don't want to seem too presumptuous. You know, like I got this

thing won. I don't want to do that.

Honey, you do have the thing won. My dad loved you.

But, you know, you know what, Carol?

If you can ask a man for his daughter's hand in marriage, the least you can do

is put on a suit and tie and buy him a steak. Am I right?

Yeah. No, honey.

Honestly, I'm on a deadline right now, and I can't talk about this, but either

way, you're going to be fine. All right, I'll call you later. You're very

helpful.

Whoa,

Mark.

I saw the clip.

Which version? I hear there are seven and counting.

Mark, I can't imagine how terrible.

This has been? Terrible. I'm scheduled to enter the seventh or eighth circle of

hell by next week. That's terrible.

Why? Mark, why tape yourself?

I wanted to see how I look in a 100 % post -op.

And a mirror wouldn't do?

I needed a 360 view.

And I was also trying out a new walk.

A new walk?

What was wrong with the old one?

I was kind of a lumber, really. Just kind of propelling my form forward.

Pure function.

But now I have the freedom to put form over function.

But the tape... I thought I'd erased it. I wasn't that proud of it.

Well, and how do you think it got on the internet?

Two guesses.

Ben Epstein, Hank Gorham. Or as I like to call them, Butch Jerkity and the Jerk

Dance Jerk. All right, explain.

I'm not the Butch Jerkity thing. I got that very subtle.

They probably patched the camera I used into the computer in the AV room,

digitized the tape, and with a Kazaa account, bam, I'm web -wide. Okay, if

are right about that, and we can prove that, I will slap them with detention.

better yet, I will suspend them. Oh, the shame and humiliation is just melting

away. I feel better already.

Hi, Mr. Vessi. Thanks for coming. Seth, my boy.

Ed, I got... Nice one. Got me. Good one.

How are you doing, Ed? I'm good. I'm hungry. You?

Starving. Let's eat.

Mr. Vessi...

I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.

Okay. Well, I was wondering if I could talk to you about the future.

About my future, actually.

Sure. Yeah, okay.

All right, then.

Gee,

I'm not one of those guys that has the whole thing planned out. You know, I'm

working from a rough draft. I guess I know I'd like to have a...

A few miniature Ed Stevens running around at the end of the day, you know,

maybe a pontoon boat, you know.

But, you know, that stuff might not work out, you know.

One thing I know that I want for sure, one thing I want beside me for the rest

of my life. Besides a pontoon boat. Come on, Ed, what else is there?

For me, sir, your daughter.

Sir, I want to marry your daughter and spend the rest of my life with her.

I know it.

You know what?

Dinner alone, the girlfriend's dad, I may not be the brightest penny in the

pond, but come on, Ed, I'm not that good.

I don't think you're dim at all.

So... I was wondering if I could have your permission.

You know, for your daughter's hand, as it were.

I'll tell you what.

I'll think about it and I'll let you know.

Right. What does that mean?

Just means I need some time to let it sit.

Digest.

Along with that cut of beef that's in there now.

Oh.

Yeah.

Family Vanacore.

Hi. Mark.

Hi, Ed.

Hi. Ed, always a pleasure.

Pleasure's mine.

Sorry to hear you'll be leaving us.

Yeah, where's New York camp that Stuckyville doesn't?

Well, lovely ex -teacher of yours, best friend of Molly's, and fiancée of mine,

for one.

What's going on, guys?

You have an internet act, though?

Wow.

Normally, we wouldn't think of suing anyone.

We're not litigious people.

But Mark's been so hurt by this. How could someone be so cruel?

I'm sorry, Mark, but detention's not enough for these kids.

But you know who did this? Yeah, I have a pretty good idea.

Well, then I guess you could make a case for an intentional infliction of

emotional distress, Mark. Would that be an accurate assessment of this? You

could say that. I mean, it's one thing being a loser in Stuckyville, but to

think that some kid in Belarus is laughing at me right now.

It's kind of hard to swallow.

Hello?

Hey, bad time?

No, it's fine.

I had to go with my dad.

I didn't go with your dad. I think his exact quote was, I need some time to let

it sit. So I'd say, brutal.

No, no, he's just giving you a hard time.

In his brain, that's funny.

I don't know, Kelly. He seemed pretty serious. In fact, he even said he was

serious. Listen.

He thinks that he's initiating you into our family's insane sense of humor.

Don't worry about it. I will talk to him, okay?

All right, you can talk to him.

See you.

Honey, how long is this going to take? My lunch hour is only 50 minutes.

Okay, okay. You're going to take a bite, and you're going to tell me whatever

comes to your mind.

Okay, you ready? Mm -hmm. Uh -huh.

Mm.

Mm.

Quickly, what do you taste?

Pizza. Uh -huh.

Cheese, tomatoes.

And now?

Again, pizza, cheese, tomatoes.

Fire, wood, Italy, Rome, Earth.

Cold, dark nights, yeah. Finding warmth in a friendly pizza oven.

Honey, I appreciate the effort, but I just don't think that a pizza oven is in

the cards right now.

You ever feel like this is it?

At what?

I don't know how things are going to be for the rest of our lives.

What are you talking about?

I guess as happy as I am with my life, I can't help but sometimes ask myself, is

this all there is?

I mean, here we are, we're living the American dream, but now what?

And you think that building a pizza oven will change all that?

No, I just really want a pizza oven.

All right, you wore me down. You can have it. Congratulations.

Really? Yeah.

On one condition.

You build it yourself.

You went to see a lawyer?

Gentlemen, greetings and salutations. That means hello.

A lawyer? This is messed up, dude.

You're going to take this to court?

Really?

Think that's a bad idea?

We're one of high school survival.

Keep your head down and your mouth shut. You taught me that.

which only proves how magnificently wrong I can be.

Hey, you awake?

Hey, hey!

Hey!

What's my favorite fiancé doing here?

I took an earlier flight.

Thought I'd surprise you.

It worked.

But you got some hussy tucked under the bed?

No. Hmm?

No.

Hey, Crystal.

Thanks for all the fun. Oh, you too. I call that the pretzel. I learned that in

India. Hey, listen. I don't think your dad really wants us to get married.

Mm -mm -mm. That's not it.

I think he wants me to talk to him. I think that's what all this is about. I

should have learned from Dennis.

That's why I rushed back. I think the sooner I deal with this, the better.

You know, we put this to bed, as it were.

Excuse me. I don't mean to bother you,

but are you?

You are.

It's her.

Carol Bessie.

Cal Vesey, literary giant, is eating right here in our very own Smiling Goat.

Dad, please, could you not?

I'm sorry to bother you like this, Miss Boo, would you mind?

Oh, no, certainly.

Now, to whom should I make it out? To Richard Vesey, world's number one dad.

Oh, is that a fact? Oh, it's official. I am the world champ of all dads.

Oh, it's you.

Here, sit down, sit down.

So how are you doing?

Boo, hanging in there, doing my thing, getting it done, and let's see.

That's all I got. Oh.

And you, you liking your job more?

Um, it's challenging.

Challenging. Challenging is good, I guess.

So, uh, you see any show? I read about the puppet play. It's, uh, like with the

Muppets, but with swearing.

Kids will be kids.

It's true.

You had to expect a certain amount of teasing in high school. My client, no

exception to that. There's been the butt of more than a few jokes, but you know

what? He's been good about it.

He's been a good sport. He's laughed it off.

So why are we here then?

Well, we're in court today because the two young men, you see, you see it

you when they decided to steal a private video of my client, digitize it, make

it available online for the entire world to see. And as it turns out to

ridicule, well, it crossed the line from teasing.

And they committed intentional inflection of emotional distress.

Ms. Clark.

Mr. Stevens is right about one thing.

Kids will be kids.

But that's no reason to go to court.

This video was shot by the plaintiff. That fact is not in dispute.

What is in dispute is who first digitized it and put it online.

There is no evidence proving my clients did that.

Thank you.

Ah, thank you. Thank you.

So, um, what's wrong with Ed?

Nothing's wrong with Ed.

He loves me, Dad. You know that.

It's not Ed. It's you.

Me? I'm worried about you.

Last year, you were ready to live the rest of your life with Dennis.

This isn't Dennis. I love Ed.

Oh, you didn't love Dennis?

That... What? I'm just saying.

You're not saying anything. You're grilling. Why are you grilling me?

Look, Ed asked for my permission.

I said I'd think about it and get back to him. Now, in order to do that, I have

to ask you a few questions.

I want to make sure you're sure.

We're sure. I'm sure. We couldn't be more sure. We got engaged.

How much...

Thanksgiving. Twice.

Twice you got... Twice you got engaged and you didn't say anything to me?

Because I knew it would be like this.

Well, why bother? Why the charade? You know, just throw the old man a bone so I

still think I'm relevant.

No, Dad, actually, I thought I was being respectful.

Well, very nicely done, honey.

Nicely done.

When did you first see the video in question?

It was on our computer at school.

My friend Hank found it when he booted up. And it was already on the Internet

this time?

I don't know. It could have been.

But did you put it on the Internet?

No.

No further questions.

Any idea how that video first got on your computer?

No, not really.

But when you log on your computer, does it require a password?

Yes. Anyone have the password besides yourself?

As far as I know, just Hank.

Just Hank.

So still no idea how the video first got on your computer?

I have no idea.

Nothing further.

Surely this wasn't the first time you've been teased.

I guess you could say I've always been a bit more screech than Zach.

Tell me, do you recognize this guy?

Yeah.

That's me.

Truth is, you've been a pretty big target over the years.

Huge, yeah.

Still, you don't exactly seem all that emotionally damaged.

Must be my rosy complexion and generally sunny disposition.

Yet if you're so emotionally damaged by this, I guess you must have missed

school?

No. Well, have you had to see a psychiatrist?

No, but that doesn't... So, no clinical depression, no symptoms of anxiety, no

need for medication?

Just because I'm not a wimp doesn't mean I haven't been traumatized. No further

questions.

Hey, Mark.

How much weight have you lost?

A buck fifty, and still counting.

That's a lot.

That's almost one of me.

Safe to say you're a much smaller target these days.

Well, that kind of thinking will only get you made fun of on an international

basis. Which was unexpected, right?

Before,

it was like I had this big bulletproof blubber coat.

And if someone didn't like me or made fun of me, I could write it off as being

about the fat.

It wasn't me they didn't like. It was the blubber coat.

Blubber coat, right. And now, when I see some guy in Kyoto is making fun of me,

I can't kid myself anymore.

It's not the coat of many pounds they're laughing at.

It's me.

Just one more time for me, please. You told me to talk to Ben and Hank, and I

did. Okay, and you really believe that they're innocent?

Yes! They told me they didn't do this, and I believe them.

Then how did the video of Mark get onto their computer?

I don't know. They're jerks, but they're not idiots. They're not going to do

something where they're going to get caught.

All right, well, if they didn't do the video transfer, then who did?

Gnomes? Goblins?

Elves?

Security cameras. They're all over the school. There's one in the A .V. room.

just check the tape and we can... There's no tape, ma 'am. No tape?

No, they're dummy cameras.

They're not real.

Since when?

Since always.

I mean, the district gave us funding for the cameras, but not the recorders.

Probably buying new sweatsuits for the basketball team or something.

Damn, I'm just starting to feel like Father Dowling there for a second.

Wait a second.

What?

The kids don't know they're dummy cameras?

Hey, hey, how'd it go?

What's the opposite of possible?

Start with an M?

No, R, as in Richard.

Vessi. What happened?

Well, let's see. My dad acted like a complete jackass when I slipped in and

him that we got engaged.

What? What? No, no.

Yeah, I'm so sick of this. It's always the same thing.

You know what?

Let me talk to your dad again.

No, no, no, no. I'm not subjecting you to that. I want to talk. I want to talk

to you. Last time I was too stiff, you know, too formal. He probably thought I

was trying too hard. He probably thought I was insincere.

Ed, you're not his problem.

No, I am. He might not say it, but I am.

You know what?

He wants to see a guy who's going to follow through, you know, who's the real

deal, not Dennis. You know, he wants to see a guy like me. You know what?

I'll get together with him. We'll bond. It'll be great. We'll hang out. Just two

guys hanging out and having fun. What do you say?

You don't have to do this.

I want to do this.

You know what?

I have the perfect idea of what to do this time.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, fellas.

Listen, I need your help. What do you need, fireworks? Because I've got a van

full of ground spinners with your name on them.

No, Phil, I don't need fireworks. I need you two guys to help me organize a

poker game for tonight. We don't have much time, but hopefully Calvestri's dad

will be coming over to join us. So let's do it right, yes?

Yeah, what game do you want to play? Draw a seven -card stud, Texas Hold 'em,

Omaha high -low, Kansas City low -ball, San Francisco shakedown, the Nordic

triple draw, 12 -card Ashanti... Dude!

Five -card draw, all right? Eight o 'clock tonight? Got you covered, Stuggo.

Thank you, Eli.

Hey, listen, um, Eli, I know you're just barely scraping by as it is, so I want

to apologize right now for taking all your money tonight.

That won't happen.

No, I'm just saying, if you ever need, like, a rent check or a winter coat or

even just a warm cup of soup, you know where I live, right? Yeah, you still at

the motel's things, right?

Yeah.

Hey, Mr. Bessie. Hi, Small World.

Small town. Well, Carol actually told me you got your hair trimmed here. Looks

good. A little buzz off the sides. Yeah, yeah.

I still have some thinking to do.

No, no, no. I just... No, I actually wanted to know if you wanted to come

to Stucky Bowl and join our poker game. We had a late cancel, eh?

Carol put you up to this? No, sir. No, not at all. No, I just need an extra

player for a little five -card draw. Maybe some Texas Hold 'em. What do you

Just poker. Just poker, absolutely.

A lot of dead money. Trust me, Mr. Wesley.

Just poker. Just poker?

Okay. Great. All right, so it's Stucky Bowl at 8 o 'clock?

Just poker.

All right, see you tonight.

This wouldn't be a poker night.

Since tonight, 8 o 'clock, Sucky Bull, are you in?

Nope. I've got an oven to build.

You're building a pizza oven in the middle of your living room? Not a living

room, Ed.

It's an ambiguous living space, and it's not a pizza oven.

Prometheus. Yeah, and I'm the legend.

All right.

You ready to do this?

Not just yet, Ed.

When do we ever have a chance to do something like this?

That was awesome.

I'd like to give, as the young people say, some mad props to our mock trial

for their big win over Edina last night.

Way to bring in both the noise and the funk.

Okay, and one more thing.

To that special someone who stole the tape from the A .V. room, I know who you

are. Because the school security cameras don't lie.

So, you have until the end of the day to turn yourself in. If I don't see you by

then, well, then you don't want to see me after that.

Now let's see who takes the bait.

Mike?

Hey, honey.

Here,

replenish your electrolyte. Oh, thanks.

You having fun?

Time of my life.

What do you got there?

Oh, it's just one 310 more.

One part cement, three part line, ten parts sand.

It's your standard type K mix.

Oh, that's nice.

Yep. Now I just got to get that ventilation shaft in.

I might have to tear up the roof a little bit.

Really? Do you think that, I mean, do you feel comfortable doing that?

Oh, I don't know. A couple of chimps with a builder's square could handle it.

Okay. I trust you.

Well, I'll let you get back to work.

Yeah, I'd appreciate that.

Why, Phil?

Why what?

Why the duct tape? Why the polarized glasses? Why the tracksuit?

Tells, Bosco, tells.

And my poker name is the Cincinnati Kid.

That's very original. Take that off. You're best to come here any minute. You

look like a crazy man.

Exactly. Table image is very important.

Stubbs, take that damn tape off your face and let's play some cards.

Hey. Hi, Mr. Bessie. Hey. Come on down.

Meet the fellas.

Here's Eli Cartwright Goggins III, Mr. Bessie.

Eli.

It's here, Cincinnati kid.

How much cash you bring?

Don't worry about him. He's mostly harmless. Please have a seat and get

Come on, we'll cash you in.

Okay. What do I owe you?

Forty bucks. Yeah, forty. Look at that.

Dollar annies?

Best of luck to everyone.

How are everybody doing tonight? I should say, how is everybody doing

tonight?

It's rule number one, Willie Butch.

It's one word, safety.

Always be safe.

Always.

You know what this is, Willie Butch? It's your master saw, power saw.

Very powerful machine.

Well, I think it's time to roof and I had a little chat.

Yeah, yeah, really shouldn't be doing that.

thing, baby. I like to see that. And Mr. Vessi, oh my goodness, you on a roll.

I'm just going to stay out your way, player.

That leaves me to you, Cincinnati idiot.

Before the night, I didn't realize you were such a generous SOB.

Running that Phil Stubbs, who wants some money? Program, player.

Come on, keep paying us.

Buy me.

Check.

Check. All right, it'll be $15 to ride this merry -go -round. Come on, you.

Oh, that's too rich for my blood. I'm out. Anybody want a beer?

I'll get you one.

Read them and weep.

Five, six, Seven and eight. And that's a little thing called a straight.

There's no four -card straight, caveman.

You got to have five cards.

Really? Seems a bit much.

Good game.

Yeah. Glad you like it.

You know what you're doing.

Listen, Mr.

Vesey, I know we said just poker, but I was just wondering if you had a chance

to think about what we talked about the other day.

Ed, you said that wasn't going to happen. I know, I know. I know I did. I

just... Sir, I want you to know that I understand your wariness. I hope that

just understand that I'm... Well, you know, that I'm not Dennis Martino.

I never said that.

No, I know, sir. I know you didn't. I just... See, for me, the thing is, I've

already had one marriage fail, and that's not going to happen again. On

you have my word.

Ed, you're a good egg.

I like you.

Just be patient, huh?

So? So I lost 50 bucks.

Oh, well, small price to pay for my hand in marriage.

Actually, the 50 bucks was more of a deposit, actually. Careful hot.

What did he say?

It's hot.

Well, he said that I should be patient.

What?

Okay, that's it. Forget it. You know what?

I fold. I am out.

Forget it. No, you can't fold.

I don't care, Ed. I don't even care if I have my father's blessing.

I think you do. No, you know what?

I don't. And you can't always get what you want.

Oh.

Oh.

Hey. Miss Hudson.

I think there's a junior apartment in the senior lot. We have permission to

slash their tires, right? Yeah. Can I talk to you for a second?

Oh, hey, Jimmy.

Hey.

Jimmy?

I'm the one that stole your tape.

What?

I didn't know that. I mean, I never meant for it to.

I can't believe it.

It was me.

Were you ever going to tell me?

I mean, if Miss Hudson hadn't made that announcement?

I'm sorry, Mark.

I really am.

Yes, you are.

Wow. Jimmy Ressler.

He confessed.

How do you know Ben and Hank's computer? He'd need their password.

He overheard them, figured he'd, you know, frame them for it, cover his

I don't think he ever thought it would get this far.

Wow.

Jimmy Ressler.

Think about how Mark must feel.

It's really the right call, Mark, and we have to drop the case. Without Ben and

Hank taking the tape, digitizing it, there's really no way to make the case.

Yeah, I know. We'll drop it.

Hey.

Mark, we got to talk.

I don't think so, man.

Mark, I'm sorry about this. At least let me tell you why I did it.

No, thanks.

Don't you even want to know?

I already do.

Okay, my surgery worked. Yours didn't, all right?

I lost the weight. You didn't. My life changed.

Yours didn't. Do you have any idea how guilty that makes me feel?

It's not your fault, Mark. You turned me into a worldwide laughingstock, and...

I don't even feel like I have the right to be angry with you.

I gotta go.

Mike, what's with the blindfold? I feel like a David Copperfield girl.

Okay.

Okay.

Stop.

I have to admit, I actually have butterflies, but good butterflies, like

or white emerald.

It's my wife. It's just for you.

Mike. Jake, what happened?

Pizza oven wasn't working out the way I planned.

So? I thought we could put the house back the way it was.

Really?

Matthew's is dead, man. He's gone to a better place.

Big pizza oven in the sky.

Right.

You sure?

Yeah.

Talk to you in a minute?

Hey, Mark, what's up? Come on in.

Do people ever feel better after they've sued someone?

I don't know. It depends.

Sometimes, I guess.

Because I don't.

In fact, I have less desire to be at school now than I did before.

Well, Mark, to tell you the truth, lawsuits are great when the law is

Otherwise, not so much.

Now you tell me.

Well, my advice to you?

Smile.

Smile?

Smile, and the whole world smiles with you.

You're not going to sing, are you?

I'm not going to sing. I'm not going to sing, Mark, but I could, you know?

Singing's good. It's one of the things I always liked about you.

My singing?

No, your smile.

Your sense of humor, you know? Self -deprecating sense of humor. Your quips,

your jabs, your wit, your repartee, your banter.

You disarm people, you know? Put them at ease, you know? Without it, it seems to

me maybe Jimmy's right.

About what?

Well, you've changed a little.

How?

It seems you take yourself more seriously these days.

Too seriously?

Maybe.

Hey, guys.

What? You got another subpoena for us?

That's a good one. No, actually, I was hoping I could get your opinion.

On what?

My walk. I still haven't settled on one that screams me. What do you think of

this?

Does that work for you? Or maybe more like this.

Dude.

Oh, what? Dude, come on. Come on. Be serious. Here. Feel free to take

They last longer.

Except turkey.

I can do fried anything except turkey.

Definitely. Fried anything except turkey. Really? Because I was thinking

anything except fried anything except turkey.

Well, I've got another idea.

Ladies, come with me.

I got nothing.

For you, honey.

Honey, it's not the Prometheus, but... No, it's not.

It's the Prometheus' younger brother, the mongoose.

Oh, I love it.

Can I come in or are we going to do this out here?

Nice spread.

Thanks.

You got a couple of minutes to talk?

Fair enough.

You know, we humans are, generally speaking,

Pretty selfish lot.

Gotta be, though, you know, keep the lineage going, spread the seed, all that

stuff. Yeah, Dad, I took freshman biology, I remember.

I'm no different.

Always looking out for numero uno.

But for me, that means... making sure that you're okay.

Yeah.

Last year, when I saw you at...

After Dennis left crying on a church floor, I just... I never

wanted to have that feeling again.

Selfish reasons, of course.

Well, maybe two of us.

Oh, no.

I had a feeling in my gut that Dennis wasn't right for you, but I didn't say

anything because I thought I should support you.

Okay.

You did the right thing.

So when Ed came to me and he asked for your hand, I wanted that absolute 100%,

no money back, because all failed, the final kind of feeling. I wanted

incontrovertible proof that this was the right thing for you.

That kind of proof is hard to come by, don't you think?

I would be honored if you would wear this at your wedding.

I'm sweating, Pat.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

Hey. Hey.

Sorry. Hi, Mr. Bessie.

Um, I'll leave you guys to it. Uh, Ed.

Uh, I think it's time you started calling me Richard.

Okay.

Why don't you come join us for a little mongoose pizza?

That sounds good.

No.

It was hot.

It was great.

Who made this pizza?

Mongoose. Oh, good.

But you're not marrying him.

To the Mongoose.

To the Mongoose. To the Mongoose.