Original subtitles

Man, I got a problem. I need to discuss it with someone. You got a problem. I'm

here for you, buddy. What's wrong?

The alphabet.

The alphabet. Yeah, the alphabet.

It's all screwed up. What are you talking about?

A, B, C, D. So far, so good, right? Yeah. E, F, G, H.

Not an H right there? That's the first trouble spot. What's wrong with H? The

other letters are named after what they sound like. Yeah. B has a buh. D has a

duh. Not an H. Where's the huh?

An H. There is none. Exactly.

So I've got to rename it he. Then you've got A, B, C, D, E, F, G, he, I, J, K.

You see what I'm saying? He? Yeah. And then there's Q, which everybody knows

sounds like wha, as in queen.

So goodbye Q, hello Q.

What is it, your new stand -up act? No, I'm serious. It's like a grassroots

campaign. Q, it's the right thing to do. My heavens.

The biggest problem of all, the one that keeps me up at night. What's that?

W. Who's a jackass called a W? Now I'm calling it woo.

Are we done?

I should be called ye, now we're done.

Ed, I think you ought to know that Frankie is in your office bawling her

out in a most unprofessional manner.

Shall I fire her for you? Oh, man, it must be about Leon.

Ponce de Leon?

Leon, her ex -boyfriend. I better go see if she's okay. Thanks for the ride.

Yeah.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, E, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U,

V, U, X, Y, N, Z.

the sky tonight there I can keep by

your side watching the wide world riot and

hiding out I'll be coming

What's the matter?

Ed, you're back from lunch.

Nothing. I'm fine.

Let's work. Law time.

Truth and justice.

Let's do it. Well, how long is it? What do you got there?

A plane ticket to Houston for this weekend. Leon sent it. How come?

He wants me to fly down there so we can try and work things out.

Oh, you're going to go? Oh, yes.

Yes. I've made my decision. I'm flying down to Houston so we can try and work

things out.

Are you sure? Of course.

I love Leon. Leon is amazing.

Right, right.

Amazing, but stubborn as a mule, which is what triggered the whole breakup

thing. But you know what? I can't blame him for that, because I'm even stubborn,

or I'm queen of the mules.

Yet we always work things out. We always have.

So you and Leon have broken up and gotten back together a few times?

A few hundred.

Gotcha. You know what? To be honest, Ed, there's always been this little part of

me that thinks...

Maybe, just maybe, Leon isn't the one. I mean, maybe he is, but maybe he isn't.

Maybe the reason we keep getting back together is... Thanks.

Yeah.

You know what? Don't go to Houston.

What? Don't go to Houston. You're only going to get sucked back in. Maybe it's

time to move on.

You think?

Well, you know, it's just my advice. You know, and you do whatever your heart...

or your brain or whatever organ it is that you trust tells you to do. But in

experience, the relationships that you have to struggle with, they never end up

working out in the long run.

The ones that work, well, they're just plain work.

So, how are things going with Sean and Sean in the fire, Mom? Okay.

I think it's enough to get me a little smoker. Not just yet.

Why? What are you waiting for?

Oh, we're taking it slow. You know, his wife just passed away a year ago, so,

you know. Right.

Although I do feel a first kiss coming on. Really?

Why is that? He invited me over to watch the meteor shower with him.

Oh, how romantic.

Yeah, young Ryan will also be joining us.

Less romantic -o. It's all right. The kid loves me. Besides, he's got to go to

bed at some point, right?

Hi, hi, Ryan.

Hey, Miss Bessie. Hey, Ryan.

Good afternoon, Principal Hudson.

Getting psyched about those meteors?

Oh, my.

I'll see you.

Like I said, kid loves me.

Jerry, how's my man?

Yeah. El Boogie, nothing but love for you, honey.

Berkowitz, how's about some kids in for the chit -chat?

Kaboom, y 'all.

Kaboom, y 'all.

Money Mark, you are looking spilt.

What are you so obnoxiously happy about?

You don't want to sit down for this. There's nowhere to sit. With the floor.

Stand on the floor. Sit somewhere. These are new pants. I'm not doing that. All

right, all right. You ready for this?

Last night, I, Warren P. Cheswick, became a man.

You got bar mitzvahed?

I lost my virginity.

You did?

To a girl?

No, no, Vannikor. To a woman.

To God's most perfect creation, Stella.

Oh, crap.

Nice going, Cheswick. I mean, she's... Oh, careful, dog.

That's my girlfriend you're talking about.

Your girlfriend?

Uh, yeah.

We had sex, didn't we?

Yeah, but she's 28.

We're both old souls.

Plus, I'm in love, man. I'm in love.

I'm in love. I'm in love.

300 every time out. And it ain't Dick Webber and it ain't Earl Anthony. It's

Jesus. Yes, sir, folks. Jesus bowls a perfect game every time out. Now, sure,

'all might bowl 300 now and then, friend, but can you do it every time?

can. You watch old Jesus bowl the ball in perfect form.

Sir! Sir, are you okay? What happened?

Well, there's been an accident. That's a...

God, I wrecked my car. Jeez, I wrecked my damn car.

You're okay? You can move? Yeah, I can move. There's a patch of ice back there

the size of the Cassian Sea.

Hold on, you're going to be fine. I'm fine?

Because, like, my car is like a free dog.

I'm feeling dizzy.

Yes, hello, listen, there's been an accident on Route 327. Yeah, I mean,

nine... Hey,

get out of my lap!

What are you doing?

We've got to get to the thing that's going to blow up. We've got to get out.

got you. Come on, radio.

I got my thumb on the rock.

We got it when Ryan was seven. Did all the research himself, picked out the

one. That's amazing.

Ryan, what's the magnification?

The magnification is what makes little itty -bitty things look like big giant

things. Yeah, I know what the word means. I was asking... It magnifies to

times. It has a light grasp of 19 .6 square inches, a focal length of 1 ,540

millimeters, an F ratio of F over 12 .1, and a 6 by 30 finder scope.

That answer your question?

Yes. Super.

Dad, can we go out? We're going to miss everything.

Yeah, in a minute, Ryan. Hey, why don't you grab us a couple sodas?

Coming right up.

Sorry.

Ryan and I haven't had a lot of, you know, guests. Don't worry about it. It's

fine. It must be weird having the principal around.

Exactly. And our friendship must be odd for him.

But he'll get used to it.

Heads up!

Hey there, Warren.

You were thinking about me, weren't you? I was reading my book.

I am thinking about me, though, right? Like when you come to a comma during the

pauses?

Guilty as charged.

I can't stop thinking about you either.

Last night was so awesome.

You were like some rare mythological creature, like Pegasus. Your silver

bathed in the moonlight.

haunches gleaming?

My haunches?

Will you listen to me?

You see what you do to me?

Lauren, I'm glad that you had a great time last night. Oh, God, yeah, I did.

And did you have fun, too? Absolutely.

Yeah. So, um, did I, uh,

did I do okay?

You did great.

I thought so. I thought so. I really felt like I hit my groove, like around

halfway point.

Oh, I was going to ask you, where do you want to live?

Live? Yeah, when I graduate from high school.

Well, we could live anywhere, I guess. But I was looking into Arizona.

They have, like, these weird energy vortexes. Sounds cool.

Listen, Warren, I have to go. I have some stuff to do. Okay, cool.

Great. So tomorrow night?

I can't.

Carol's insisting that we have dinner.

Speaking of Carol, I don't want her to know about us.

Oh, no problem.

I can do that. So the night after that, are we on?

Sure. Great.

Good night, Len. Good night, honey.

You got him away from the car and no more? Then I wrapped him in a blanket so

wouldn't go into shock and I waited for the ambulance.

Is he going to be okay?

Yeah, they said he'd be fine. He got lucky, I guess. Yeah, lucky you drove

You're a hero, a bona fide hero.

I know what you're thinking.

What's that? You're wishing the car had blown up so you'd have a better story.

How'd you know?

I just knew.

Oh, by the way, I took your advice.

What? I returned the plane ticket to Leon.

Time to move on.

Good, I think that's smart.

Ed Stevens.

That's me.

You've been served.

You're kidding me. Are you kidding? Are you kidding me?

What is it?

Mr. Herzog, the guy I pulled from the car, he's suing me for $10 ,000.

Why? I broke his thumb.

Teddy, my boy.

So great to see you again. Can I call you Teddy? No. I want to give you the

benefit of the doubt, Jake, and assume there's been some kind of

misunderstanding here. No, Teddy, there is not.

Mr. Herzog, I pulled you out of a flaming wreck, and now you're suing me?

should thank him. He saved your life. Like Ellie did. I came through that

accident with barely a scratch, and then this genius comes along and starts to

get all heroic on my ass, and I look.

Okay, look, I'm sorry I broke your thumb, but come on. My client earns his

living through the precision use of his digits.

His thumb will heal, but it will never function again at full capacity.

What are you, a classical pianist? No, not exactly.

A brain surgeon?

You're getting warmer. What then? Mr. Herzog is a very high -end, much -in

-demand builder of ships and bottles.

Ships and bottles?

How is that warmer?

Thumbs are his livelihood, Mr. Stevens. There's a lot of tweezer work involved.

I don't believe this. Now, I know that you're a busy man, so I'm going to give

you a chance to keep this out of court. We'll settle for $8 ,000. No.

You're not getting a dime out of me, for fun's sake. And, Mr. Herzog, I'm the

only guy that cared enough to pull over on the side of the road and help you

out. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

We hear what you're saying.

$7 ,500.

Get out now. I'll see you in court.

Looking forward to it, Teddy.

When I get in a courtroom, I can't wait to get in a courtroom with those guys.

I'm going to... I don't know.

There's no word. There's no word to what I'm going to do to those guys. There's

only a sound, and that sound is... You're going to argue them?

I didn't say, I said...

Ed, forgive me if I'm out of place, but have you ever heard the saying, he

represents himself? As a fool for a client. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I

know. But not this time. Not this case, okay? This case is too important to

trust some other lawyer.

Not even me?

You. Yeah.

Let me represent you.

I don't know, Frankie. I don't know. Why not? You don't think I can handle it?

No, it's not that. It's just, you've never tried a case by yourself before.

But you have to have your first one, right? Don't you think I'm ready? Yeah,

do think you're ready. I just... Ed!

Let me help you.

I'll give it everything I got.

Okay.

Arrgh!

Close.

Benicor. You look like Ratso Rizzo. Yeah, I was up all night on the

Check out what I made for Stella.

The men of Warren Cheswick. Isn't that great?

Yeah, I borrowed costumes from the drama club. I had a few of them around when I

owned them.

Good God.

How adorable is that?

She'll love it, right?

You can't give her this, Warren.

Why not?

Because you're playing this the wrong way. I mean, all the cutesy little

all the lovey -dovey, oopy -goopy junk.

You're going to smother the woman.

You think?

Yes. She is a worldly experience 28 -year -old, okay? You're acting like a

who's just tasted his first snossage.

Okay, calendar's out. Listen, we have a date tonight. What should we do?

How about dinner and a movie?

No way.

Too basic.

I can take her to the film festival.

Just take her to the smiling goat, Cheswick, okay? Just hang out, talk, get

know each other like normal adults.

You're right, you're right. Okay, that's what I'll do.

Listen, uh, you sure about the calendar?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Stella!

Oh, you're home. Hi, sister.

Come on in. Sit down. Your meatloaf's getting cold.

Wow, meatloaf.

What's the occasion?

Oh, no occasion.

Come on. The meatloaf, the fruit punch. This is just like when you and Dad tried

to talk me out of moving to Poland.

Well, you can relax. I just want to, you know, catch up a little.

All right.

So, um, how are things going?

Great. Good.

Good. What are you doing with yourself, your days, really? You know, the usual.

Training for the America's Cup.

I guess, um, I was wondering if you had given any thought.

You know, your future job, that kind of thing. I knew it.

There truly is no such thing as a free meatloaf.

Stella, look, I know you're going to kick and scream, but Miss McGreevy down

the bookstore is hiring, and I know you have bookstore experience, so I've

got... You want me to apply?

Actually, I set up an interview for you.

Carol! What?

What? I was at the bookstore. I saw the sign that she was hiring. I thought that

you... Yeah, yeah.

Well... Would you, please, for me?

Sure, Mom.

Good.

Oriental, I'm out.

Wow.

Good game, Molly. You really know what you're doing. I just got lucky with the

dice. And that concludes our post -game wrap -up. Stay tuned for action news at

11. So how'd you trounce us like that, huh?

Come on. Give it up. All right. Truthfully, I had you guys from the

picked our pieces. I call it thimble theory.

Thimble theory. Yeah. I chose the thimble, the humble thimble, while you

Ryan chose the top hat, the sports car, prestige pieces.

So? So, I knew you two would battle it out over boardwalk and park place and

the other fancy spots while I quietly made my move and became a powerful

slumlord.

Slumlord is the only way to go in the mouth of life.

My God, this is humbling.

Now, if someone challenges me for the thimble, well, then I know I'm in

You know, same with the iron and the wheelbarrow. Of course, the Scotty Dog,

well, the Scotty Dog's kind of a wild card.

You are a monopoly genius.

Sexy, isn't it?

Court is now in order.

Mr. Herzog, when Mr. Stevens came over to your car, what did he do?

Well, he pulled me out of it.

Did you ask him to pull you out of the car?

No. Did you say you needed his help?

Not at all.

You're a witness.

There are flames coming up from the car. The impact is severe.

You didn't ask for help.

Is it possible you weren't thinking clearly at that moment, Mr. Herzog? No,

was thinking clearly.

But what if you had a concussion?

I didn't have a concussion.

How do you know?

The impact was pretty big.

Because I had an MRI done.

Yes, you did, Mr. Herzog.

You had an MRI.

And why did you have that MRI?

Wasn't it to be sure you didn't have a concussion?

So if you weren't sure whether or not you had a concussion, is it reasonable

expect that Mr. Stevens, would be sure whether or not you had a concussion.

And if you had had a concussion, isn't it possible that you wouldn't have had

the wherewithal to ask for help getting out of a burning car?

Mr. Stevens saw a man trapped in a burning car.

He didn't have an MRI machine with him.

Objection. Withdrawn. Nothing further.

Thank you, Ms. Hector.

Court is in recess.

Did you see me?

I was like a junkyard dog in that court earlier. You were. Not a regular dog.

Nope. Not a show dog. Nope. A junkyard dog. A junkyard dog. That's right, Pepe.

Did you just call me Pepe? Yeah, I'm drunk with success.

Well, I think that's a good thing.

What?

For a second there, I just thought of Leon.

He would have gotten a kick out of seeing me in court today.

It's okay, though. I made the right choice in staying here.

Yeah? Oh, yeah.

Stuckyville reminds me a lot of my hometown in Maine. We had the friendly

bar, the cool bowling alley. Not as cool as this one. Thank you.

You know what this town is missing is a super cheap drive -in movie theater.

Always cheered me up when things got tough.

Oh, yeah?

What was your favorite movie at the old super cheap?

I can answer you in one word.

Serpico. Thought 17 times.

Is that right?

Miss Hatcher, this came for you.

Thank you.

Frankie, what... It's private. Thank you.

Oh, step aside, people. Make way for the hose man.

You have something to say to me?

No, I'm good.

Look, I am sorry about the telescope. I'm sorry that you missed the meteor

shower. I know that you and your dad had a tradition.

No, that's incorrect.

What? Me, my dad, and my mom had a tradition.

Now, are you going to punish me, or can I go?

I'm not going to punish you, Ryan.

Why not?

Because I just want to figure out a way for the three of us to be friends.

Friends? That's hilarious.

You don't want to be friends with my dad.

Yes, I do.

I do, Ryan. I just want the three of us to... I saw you the other night. I saw

you kissing him.

That's why you're not going to punish me.

Look, Ryan, I... What are you doing?

I'm standing on my chair.

You're going to punish me now? I don't think so.

Ryan, get down.

How about now, Principal Hudson, huh?

Are you going to give me a detention?

No. No!

That's right. You're not. You know why? Because you can't do anything. Because

I'm untouchable. That's right. You can't do anything.

You can't do anything to me at all. What are you going to do? You're not going

to do anything. You're not going to do anything at all because I'm untouchable.

Mr. Noel, a month's detention starting today. Now you better get his desk

I call security.

Now.

I'm a huge cinema fan.

Yeah, I think I'd really like to direct films one day. I mean, imagine yourself

married to, like, the white Spike Lee.

Yeah, Spike Lee's cool.

Totally, yeah. Except for the way he always calls the movies a joint.

A what?

You know, it's always like, do the right thing, a Spike Lee joint. It's so

annoying. If I ever try and pull that crap, you'll give me a reality check,

right? Sure.

Hey, everybody!

Come on, this is so perfect. Over here, adorable couple, over here.

Oh, this is in the bag.

Frankie, where's Ed?

Aha, you've noticed too. Noticed what?

That Ed is gone.

That Ed Stevens, lovable bowling alley lawyer, has been snatched away and

replaced by an evil robot hell -bent on destruction.

Or should I say heck -bent? After all, we're talking about Ed.

What does he do?

Oh, no, I shouldn't. He's my boss.

I completely understand.

No, no. You're supposed to say, screw that, tell me. Screw that, tell me.

so Leon and I broke up, right?

He sent me a ticket to Houston so we can get together, try and work things out.

I'm all set to go when Ed pipes up, tells me not to.

Why? Because you see, relationships you have to struggle with never work out in

the end.

Who wants the work? Just plain work.

Interesting. He must have hypnotized me or something because I didn't go.

And now I got this letter from Neon telling me how terrible I am.

And you know what?

That's right.

I've been with the guy for three years. I've got to just throw it away like

this. Frankie, have you tried calling him? Yeah, about 30 times. He's done

me.

Wow. Why did I ever listen to that?

Oh, jeez.

Moving down to couple number two. Now, Linda, we asked Jimmy for his favorite

pizza topping.

What do you say?

This is an easy one.

Because I'm going to fight him on it every time.

Anchovies.

How about it, Jimmy?

What can I say?

I love my chobies.

A couple hundred points in the lead. Moving down to couple number three.

Stella.

What's Warren's favorite pizza topping?

I take candy from a baby.

Pepperoni. What?

Oh.

You're supposed to know it.

Mushrooms, you silly duck. You know this.

But we've never ordered.

Ah, enough of you, sweetie. You're in the doghouse tonight.

No sugar for you tonight. This is our game, kids.

Couple number two gets a free appetizer of their choice. That's the game. Give

it up for Linda and Jimmy.

That was so awesome.

Don't want to tell our kids about this one, huh?

We need to have a chat.

What's wrong? Nobody saw us. I think you and I have different interpretations of

our night together.

What do you mean?

Well, you're coming on kind of strong.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

I remember what it was like to be 18. I remember, you know, my first time.

Warren, I really like you.

And what happened between us was great.

But we're not a couple.

Wait, are you breaking up with me?

We were never going out in the first place.

I can do whatever you want. I can be different.

You shouldn't have to.

I'm sorry, Warren. I didn't mean to lead you on.

I hope you'll forgive me.

Mr. Stevens, when you saw Mr. Herzog in that car, what did you think?

That I had to help him.

Why?

Well, I could see it hit his head and there were flames coming out from the

of the car. I thought it was dangerous to leave him in there.

So what did you do?

I tried opening the driver's side door, but it was jammed. And then I saw more

flames, so I had to pull him out through the window. Unfortunately, he broke his

thumb. An accident?

Yes, an accident.

Can someone please tell me what the case is here?

If Mr. Stevens had done something wrong, maybe there's a case. But what did he

do wrong?

Nothing. Save it for the close, Counselor. Sorry.

Couldn't keep it in.

If Mr.

Stevens had done something wrong, then there'd be a case. I've got to remember

that.

You testified that the door was jammed. Is that right?

Yes. If Mr. Stevens had done something wrong, then there'd be a case.

I'm sorry, my memory's so bad. Was it jammed or locked?

I believe it was jammed. Did you reach inside the door and check?

We've got the police report here if you need to refresh your memory. There was

no time.

So if it was unlocked, then you could have opened the door, gotten Mr. Herzog

out, and he probably wouldn't have had a broken thumb, right? Like I say, I had

that quickly. What was that thing again? See, I always forget.

Right. If Mr. Stevens had done something wrong, then there'd be a case. Enough

with the theatrics, Mr.

Fonseca.

Nothing further.

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, then. You're angry.

No, no, I'm not. Yes, you are. You're being passive -aggressive. If you're

angry, just tell me.

Okay, you want me to tell you? Yeah, I'm angry. How could you give Fonseca an

opening like that? You set him up better than Abbott set up Costello.

I'm sorry. It was an honest mistake.

That honest mistake is going to cost me $10 ,000, which is going to make things

more than a little awkward between the two of us, which is why I didn't want

on this case in the first place.

I was just trying to help.

Yeah, well, I guess sometimes there's a difference between trying and helping.

That is so true.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. Nothing? Now who's being passive -aggressive? It's nothing, Ed.

come on, Frankie. Let's have it.

Okay. You want to know why I screwed up today? That's right. I'm so upset about

Leon, I can't even think straight.

What about Leo? All he wanted was to give things one more chance. One more

chance and I wouldn't let him. And now he is done with me for good and I might

just have made the biggest mistake of my life.

And you're blaming me?

No, not at all. Why would I blame you? You were just trying to help.

What you doing?

Dish duty.

Ah, that's good. But can we do that one more time, a little grumpier?

Huh. Perfect.

What's got you down?

I had a battle royale with Frankie. You know, she screwed up in court. I got a

little angry. She turns around and blames it on me.

Because you ruined her love life.

She told you?

No.

Don't blame her.

I pried it out of her. I'm very good at prying. I am a regular Richard Pryor.

You know what? She's being ridiculous, okay? All I did was offer a little

advice. Just a little advice, okay? She didn't even have to take the advice, all

right? I was just trying to help. It turns out I'm biting the butt.

You were just trying to help? Yes.

No. What? You weren't just trying to help.

You gave her that advice because you don't want her to patch things up with

Leon.

Why wouldn't I?

Because you kind of like her.

You think I'd do such a thing? So you admit it?

You kind of like her. I didn't mean anything. I just said I wouldn't do such

thing. No, maybe not consciously. No, but you kind of like her. And I will

you another thing. What?

You got good taste.

Because Frankie is cute and funny and smart and sweet and... And

she's not too screwed up to appreciate you.

Sounds like the perfect package to me.

My cousin Jimmy once got a chestnut stuck in his ear.

Really?

Mayday, she's not responding to the Chestnut in the Ears story.

Mayday.

Now she's not responding to the fake walkie -talkie gag.

I was wondering if maybe we shouldn't just put the brakes on that thing.

What?

Oh,

that was a pretend Mayday. This is a real Mayday.

I'm just... Right now, we're only in this toe -deep.

Because of Ryan, right?

I gave your son detention. He hates me, and I really don't know what to do about

it. I'm glad you gave him a detention.

He deserved it. Yeah, but think about it from his side. I mean, first he loses

his mom, and then he sees his dad kissing his principal.

What about my side?

He's not the only one that lost something, you know?

I like you, Molly.

I like you, too.

But I... There are no buts.

We'll figure it out with Ryan.

How?

I don't know.

It's a process.

It's a process.

Okay, we'll figure this out.

Do you want to hear the chestnut story?

Not really.

What? Of course I do.

Stella!

I was worried.

Mrs. McGreevey called from the bookstore. She said you never showed up

interview. What happened?

Yeah, something came up. What? What happened?

Can we talk about this later?

No, I want to talk about this right now.

Don't you mean right now, young lady? What?

You've been mothering me ever since I got back. It's driving me nuts.

I'm not mothering you. I'm just... You are, Carol!

Which was great when I was 12 years old, but I'm not 12 years old anymore.

I'm simply trying to help you formulate a plan. What is so wrong with that?

I can make my own plans. I can run my own life. I have yet to see any evidence

of that. Get out of my face.

Get out of my face. Are you sure you're not 12 anymore?

I'm sorry.

You and Leon, that was none of my business. I should have kept my stupid

to myself.

No, you shouldn't have. No, don't say that. I was an idiot, and I am truly

sorry.

I'm miserable about it. All rise.

Closing argument, Mr. Fonseca?

Be seated.

Your Honor?

Ladies and gentlemen...

There's no dispute that on the night of the accident, Mr. Stevens had good

intentions. But there's a limit to what good intentions can justify, especially

in a court of law.

You go see a doctor about a stuffy nose and he treats it by cutting it off, then

who cares how good his intentions are?

When Mr. Stevens got involved, he took on a very big responsibility, and with

his reckless behavior, he failed to live up to that responsibility.

This case is that simple.

Thank you.

Ms. Hector.

Thank you, Your Honor.

My first ever closing argument, and it may be my last, so I'm lucky I've got

something very important to say.

Ed Stevens is not a perfect guy.

I know this from personal experience because he's my boss.

But none of us are perfect.

Except for you, sir.

And you, ma 'am.

And, well, maybe not you.

But what matters the most is that we try.

When there's a person in need, we try to help.

Or do we?

How many times have you seen somebody pulled over on the side of the road and

you just drove on by?

Yeah, me too.

Ed Stevens doesn't just drive by.

Ed Stevens stops.

Imperfect though he may be, he's the kind of guy who stops.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's not punish him for that.

Because if you do, he might stop stopping.

And that would be a shame for all of us.

Thank you.

I'll be at the goat having dinner.

I'll be here on the couch disappointing you.

Goodbye.

Yeah.

I think this has been done.

Everything's been done.

And you got this song wrong.

Don't say anything against Peter Gabriel.

I was just trying to make it my own.

I know.

I know I'm too young for you. I know you don't want to be my girlfriend. I know

how ridiculous and absurd this is, but I can't help it.

I have to do it.

The only girl you ever slept with.

I want to kiss your eyes.

I'm not awesome.

I'm nothing.

Got about an hour before Carol comes home.

It's snowing out.

Ed, I want to pay you back for the money you lost. If you dock my paycheck, $250

for the next 40 weeks, that'll be the full $10 ,000. Forget it. It's okay.

I insist.

It's my fault we lost the case.

Oh, I forgot to factor in interest. Do you know the current interest rate?

Come with me.

Where are we going?

For a little drive.

You're going to bury me in the desert.

Where are we going?

Hop in.

Hold on, we're almost there.

But we haven't even left yet.

I know.

Ed? Sit tight.

Frankie? Yeah?

That money I lost, it's just money. I'll survive. But you and Leon, that's your

life. And for whatever it's worth, I want you to know that I'm here for you.

Anything you want.

Anything I can do.

That is so sweet.

So, what are we...

Any second now.

Oh, my God.

Is it? Yep.

At the Stucky World Drive -In.