All language subtitles for Ed s03e13 Hyenas & Wildebeests

Previously on air. I'd like to see you
as our principal.

I don't think so. Damn it, Molly.

It is so obvious that you are the person
who should be running this school.

Okay. Really?

Yeah. Let's give it a try.

Oh my God, you got it. I got it!

Frankie Hector, I want to work for you,
Mr. Stevens. I want to be an attorney at

law at Stuckyville's finest firm.

Hire Frankie.

This girl's good.

Yeah, she is.

Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

I'm so Mike.

You can do it, sweetie.

Just a giant yo -yo. Release it.

Pull the string.

Release.

Pull the string.

That's good.

Do you have any idea what you just did?
Does he have any idea what he just did?

I believe I can speak for all of us when
I say no one has any idea what he just

did. You just pulled three strikes in a
row. Otherwise known as a turkey, my

friend, in an age -old tradition dating
back to late 1800s, bowling alley owners

gave live turkeys the first member of
any team to pull three consecutive

strikes. Mike, ball the turkey!

That's all I get, a frozen turkey
dinner?

Hey!

Hey! I just got a new assignment from
Turkey Girl Progress.

Good for you!

Yeah, I'm going to write a restaurant
review of that new place out on Passaic

Avenue, the Red Coach.

I think I've heard it was pretty good.
Yeah, who cares? Guess who owns it? Give

up? You didn't give us a chance to
guess.

Rich Keenan.

Rich Keenan from high school?

That guy was the worst. Yeah, total
jerk.

That's what's so great about this job.

Molly, see this hand? Yeah. This is your
cold hand of vengeance. When people

read my review, they won't come within
ten miles of this stupid little

restaurant. Carol, call me the
gravedigger, because I'm going to bury

a bitch. Yeah.

Still you're not.

What? After what he did to you? Honey,
that was back in, like, ninth grade. I

think I'm over it.

Well, I'm not over it. On your behalf.

Listen, I appreciate what you're willing
to do for me, but you're a journalist.

Is a restaurant review really
journalism?

Mike, Carol.

Don't compromise your integrity over
some stupid thing that happened like 15

years ago.

Woo -hoo! Four in a row!

I demand a live turkey!

by your side.

Mr. Dobbs.

I wanted to talk to you about reviewing
the Red Coach restaurant.

I'll tell you what I tell everyone else
when they write a restaurant review.

Paper, paper, appetizer, entree,
dessert.

You get smashed on your own, Doc. Oh,
actually, no, sir. I wanted to thank you

for the opportunity, but I don't think I
can review this particular restaurant.

What? Well, you see, I know the owner,
Rich Keenan, and I just don't think I

could be objective.

Do you know this guy in biblical sense?

No. No.

Well, then, eat his food and write what
you think.

Um, actually, sir, I just, I'm not
comfortable with it.

Carol, Carol, Carol, I don't have
anybody else.

I'd ask Eben Russell to do it, but he's
in Wisconsin. He's doing that timber

sports competition. His specialty is the
standing block chop. You put a throwing

hatchet in that kid's hand and a block
of white pine, he gives you art.

I need you to write that review.

Fine, I'll do it.

Sir.

And just a couple of reminders. I'm
going to need someone here a half hour

Friday for the exterminator. I'm here
for you, brother. I got that. Good.

And also, the ball pause is making a
gravelly noise again. I'm going to need

someone to call in. Done and done.

There was a little blow pop in there.
Fixed it myself.

Thanks again, Eli.

Are we done oohing and aahing over the
new baby here?

Phil, Eli's been on board for four
months now. I think you can stop calling

the new baby. Dude, you're obsolete.

Let it go.

Yeah, I just want to bring up some new
business.

If anyone would just take a second and
look out over the lane.

Look at these people.

This guy's, what, 60 years old? He'd be
lucky to get another 70 bucks out of him

before he crosses over.

I've crossed over once, but not with
John Edwards. A guy named Steve

my late Aunt Teresa to a Halloween
party. She recommended I rent the Royal

Tannenbaum.

What's your point, then?

My point is that we need to start
attracting young people to Stucky Bowl.

Old people pay the same price to bowl as
young people. Yes, but as any

demographic will tell you, old people
are set in their ways, whereas the mind

an 18 to 49 -year -old is a shapeless,
formless lump of clay. Now, if you get

some of them wild fillies in here, you
have got yourself a bowl of polite.

All right, Bill, fine.

You want to try it? Go ahead.

Yeah.

Game with me.

What's going on not much kicking it with
my homie

Let me guess. King of the Losers.

Actually, the L is for Larry.

Larry?

And the crown is for King.

Larry King.

I'm a big fan.

So some of the guys made this for me.

So then why were they chanting Loser?
Well, you misheard.

They were chanting Larry.

Larry.

Very. Ryan. All right, all right. Look,
it's no big deal, okay?

It is a big deal. I can't tolerate that
sort of behavior. You're going to have

to give me some names.

Oh, come on, Ryan.

Nobody will know that you told me.
They'll think that I just saw them.

Like I said, it's no big deal. They were
just goofing around.

Can't we just let this go?

Okay. Thanks.

Steakhouse with a bunch of dames.
Couldn't you at least have brought the

boyfriend? I told you Leon works late.
His job's a nightmare. I would think

designing water slides would be fun.
Sometimes you ride the slide, sometimes

slide rides you.

Rib eye.

Yeah. Thank you.

Order house.

Thank you. Thanks, Mark. Order house.
New York strip.

Thank you.

And the 48 -ounce Coachmaster Rare.

Good luck. Thank you.

Okay, this is going to be... Whoa!

No one is allowed to talk about their
meal. I do not want to be influenced.

Right. You know what?

I'm just going to write a positive
review. That way, I'm beyond reproach.

not fair to all the other restaurants.
Why don't you just be honest and write

what you think?

Carol Vesey?

Rich Keenan.

Wow. You still look amazing.

Thank you.

Do you remember Molly Hudson?

Molly Hudson, sure.

How are you?

Top of the world, Rich.

Well, you two are friends now?

Yep. Best friends.

That's great.

Great.

Oh,

listen, I gotta go take care of
something in the kitchen. It's great

guys again.

Enjoy.

How much by you two it is?

Come in.

Uh, Miss Hudson.

I'm Sean Noel. I'm Ryan's father.

Mr. Noel, hi.

I wanted to talk to you about what
happened yesterday.

Yes, I'm sorry. It seems that Ryan had
some sort of run -in with some kids.

Yeah.

Again.

What kind of school allows this to
happen to a kid? Mr. Noel, high school

very difficult time.

I don't think... What about the kids
that did this to my son? I mean, I

they've been suspended.

No, they haven't.

Detention?

No.

What then?

Ryan wouldn't even give me their names.
And even then, I'm not sure that

punishing them is the way to go.

Oh, okay.

You're not going to punish them?

I am offended at the tone that you're
taking with me. And I'm offended that

think it's fine and dandy that my son
has been crowned the school loser.

Mr. Noll.

It's not like that. Then help me out
here.

Do something.

I want to thank you all for taking time
to participate in our quote -unquote

focus group.

Think of this as your chance to say,
listen up, Stucky Bowl, because I have

something on my mind that I think you
should know about.

Fun stuff. Okay, any questions before we
get started?

Yeah. You said there were going to be
free snacks here? That I did.

Chicklets for all. Shirley?

Good day. Let's begin.

What is the first word that comes into
your mind when I say, Stucky Bowl?

Stucky.

Bowl.

Thank you.

What's that about?

Never mind me. Just answer the questions
open and honestly.

I'm not here.

Wow.

Jimmy Carols, we're here yet? I'm
reading it as we speak. Pretty brutal,

don't know about the pretty part.

Uh, hey, I... Oh, hey, gosh. Oh, boy,
I'm so glad you're still alive. You

have to read and have that toxic dump,
the red coat.

Was it that harsh?

Let's see.

There's barely a wait for a table. The
efficient staff clearing seats quickly,

but then again, there wasn't much to
wait for. The Alaskan shrimp cocktail

more like a glass of ice with eight
rubbery pieces of gum clinging to the

for dear life. Nice.

Red Coach features decor straight out of
a motel elevator.

Oh, and this. I love this.

I've never eaten burnt jerky, that is,
until I took a bite out of the leather

belt that is the Red Coach's New York
strip. You, my friend, are a savage.

Savage enough to be sued?

Chris Keenan is suing me for $50 ,000.

Intentional interference of economic
advantage.

English, please. It's a fancy way of
saying you wrecked his business.

$50 ,000. I don't have $50 ,000. Do you
think they use big numbers like that to

scare people? Because it's working. This
guy doesn't have a leg to stand on. A

review is, by definition, subjective.

How can you be faulted for giving your
opinion? You are just doing your job.

Frankie's right. If you could make money
from bad reviews, Steven Seagal would

be a billionaire by now.

Ed, I think Steven Seagal might actually
be a billionaire.

Right. Ed? Yeah? What about the, um...
Oh, yeah. What?

Well... Um, Frankie, I should probably
let you know that this case might not

quite be as open and shut as we'd like.

Why not?

Well, back in the ninth grade, Rich
Keenan kind of did this humiliating

Molly, and now that he knows that Molly
and Carol are friends, you can bet the

other side's going to claim the review
as payback.

Was it? Of course not. I'm sorry. I had
to ask. Ed? Yeah? I really don't have

$50 ,000.

Don't worry. We'll get it thrown out.

You sure?

Pretty sure.

Miss Hudson.

Molly. Ryan, Noah's here.

When are you going to start to call me
Molly?

Molly. Thank you, Eunice. Send him in.

You wanted to see me?

Ryan, hi.

Come on in. Have a seat.

You know, your father was here.

Yeah, I know.

And he felt strongly that I should
punish the boys that are harassing you.

Please, don't do that.

I don't think I have a choice.

But you don't even know who did it. I
do.

You're bluffing. Robbie Mills, Perry
Kurtz, Franklin Milber.

How did you find out?

I didn't. I was bluffing.

Miss Hudson, do you remember what it was
like to be in high school way back

when? Yes, way back when. Wow, that
was... The year was 1944.

Our boys had just come back from war.

Things back then cost a nickel.

Really? You went to high school in 1944?

I'm kidding, Ryan.

So am I.

High school hasn't changed.

Meaning? Meaning, if you punish those
guys, you'll turn my life into a living

hell. Actually, my life is already a
living hell.

You'll turn my life into some living
supersized hell.

Supersized hell?

Just like regular hell, except
everything's bigger.

And it costs an extra 39 cents.

Please.

Okay. You win. I won't punish him.

Thank you. But if anything happens, and
I mean anything at all, you have to come

and tell me.

Okay. Okay.

Visit Mr. Fit. I got the results from
the focus groups back, and I have a

idea. This is exciting.

Yeah, it turns out this personal danger
thing is huge with kids.

Personal danger?

What the hell is that? You know, that's
where one goes out and puts oneself in

harm's way. Here's what I'm thinking.
Eli, we put you in a shopping cart, we

roll you down a ramp. But what? Oh, come
on, man, the damage is done.

Yo, you know what? You say one more
word, and you better wrap up what you

want broken.

Fine, I'll handle it myself, surely.

I need you to find as many young people
as you can, bring them here by tomorrow

at 4 p .m., because that is when the
Stucky Bowl slogan is going to change

bowling is fun to bowling is a little
bit dangerous.

Thirteen. Huh?

Thirteen young people.

That's the most young people I can find.

All right.

What? What's wrong?

The judge doesn't like me.

Why not? What did you do? I had one of
his decisions overturned on an appeal

case. Yeah, I've heard they don't like
that.

All right.

What have you got for me, Mr. Stevens?

Your Honor, Carol Vessi reviewed Mr.
Keenan's restaurant for the Stuckyville

Progress. She had her dinner. She didn't
like it. That's what she wrote. It's as

simple as the First Amendment itself.

A trial would be an absolute waste of
the court's time, Your Honor.

Miss Verdon, why should I try someone
for writing a negative review of a

restaurant? Because, Your Honor, Miss
Betsy deliberately tried to destroy my

client's livelihood.

She wasn't trying to write an objective
review of his restaurant. She was trying

to get revenge against him for an old
high school prank he pulled on her best

friend. You can present evidence that
the defendant had a motive for writing a

negative review?

Yes, I can.

Your Honor, my client is a professional
impartial journalist, and I have a list

of co -workers who can attest to that.
Now, the First Amendment couldn't be

simpler. Motion to dismiss is denied.

Your Honor, can I finish?

Motion for you to finish is denied, too.

I've heard enough to warrant a trial.

Your Honor, may I see you in chambers?

Well?

Your Honor, I'm sorry, but I think
there's an elephant in the room that

one of us is acknowledging.

I haven't the faintest idea what you're
talking about.

An elephant by the name of Raiden V.
Stickley?

Are you suggesting I recuse myself due
to my enormous dislike for you?

Let me assure you, Mr. Stevens, I am a
professional, impartial judge, and I

a string of co -workers that can attest
to that.

Touché. Thanks for dropping by. Thanks
for having us.

Send me some scissors and a step stool.

Yeah.

Hey, Mike, Nance. What's shaking,
Bagans? Well, Sarah learned a new word

Yep. Subpoena. Yeah, also chum and shark
cage.

Shark week.

Hi, guys.

Don't tell me Mr. Subpoena man paid you
a visit, too. He did indeed.

What's the deal, lawyer types?

Yeah, how'd we get dragged into this?

Well, they're obviously trying to prove
that Carol had an ulterior motive for

giving the red coach a bad review.

They're going to want to know if you
guys ever heard Carol make any

remarks against Rich Keenan. Anything
such as, I'm going to bury that son of a

bitch? That would probably qualify.

So we can't plead the fifth on that?
Right not. Hold to it. Nothing but.

You guys want to catch the second half
hour of Celebrity Shark Week?

It's Mark McGrath today.

Sugar Ray.

Frankie, how is Ed here? Oh, already at
court. We've got a few minutes before we

need to head over. Sit down. Relax.

Oh, yeah, I'll try.

You're nervous. Have some coffee.
Wouldn't that make it worse?

It's decaf. It's actually a special
ultra -decaf. They throw in some

tranquilizer. Thank you.

Well, at least he'll be interesting
today. Half the Stuckyville High class

is going to be on the stand.

Yeah, thanks to one Carol Vesey.

So is it me, or does your little gang
spend an awful lot of time reliving your

high school years?

Oh, Frankie, you have no idea.

Why is that?

I think it's because we're all still in
Stuckyville.

If you spend a long time in the same
place with the same people, you can't

really escape the path that's just all
around you.

So what was Ed like in high school?

I didn't really know him back then.

Why do you ask?

Just curious, I guess.

How are things going with you guys so
far?

Oh, you should probably ask him, being
the boss and all.

For me, they're great. I love it here.

Ed's the best.

That he is.

Speaking of Ed, we should get going to
court.

Let's go.

Principal Hudson?

Principal Hudson?

Molly, Mr. Noah's coming to see you.
Thanks, Eunice.

I'm right here, Mr. Null.

You?

Nah.

You can't beat a real Principal Hudson.

See, real principals punish kids when
they break the rules.

That way, if they did something wrong,
they learn not to do it again.

I'm very sorry about what happened to
Ryan.

Sorry.

That's great.

What are you going to do about it?

I mean, what do those idiots have coming
to them? Huh?

Nothing.

Mr. Nowell. Principal Hudson, where are
you? Okay, enough already.

All right? I get it. Now, can we just
sit down and talk about this like

I'm all ears.

Look, punishing those kids would have
only made things harder on Ryan.

They would have spent their entire
detention plotting their revenge.

This just amazes me.

What kind of a school is this?

Where kids...

Get away with duct taping some random
kid to his locker.

But see, that's the bit.

There's nothing random about it.

What do you mean?

Mr. Noel, your son is a geek.

What? Your son is a geek.

What are you talking about? He's a
normal kid.

Far from it.

He's smart and he's witty and he's
sensitive. All rare and wonderful

to have. But when you're 15, it gets you
duct taped to a locker.

This is ridiculous.

Come on.

You remember when you were in high
school, don't you? It's like the

out there. And the hallways are filled
with hyenas and Ryan the Wildebeest.

The Wildebeest.

I don't believe I'm listening to this
crap.

Anything else happens, I'm going to the
school board.

Mr. Noel, I... How

long have you known Miss Hudson?

Since about the sixth grade.

Were you friends?

No. I don't think she liked me much. Why
not?

I was one of your textbook adolescent
idiots, always trying to get laughs at

expense of other kids. Like Miss Hudson?

Yes. At the beginning of ninth grade, I
started sending her little notes saying

that I had a crush on her.

Go on. Well, after a couple of weeks, I
invited her to meet me after school out

by the bike racks, and I told her I
loved her and wanted her to be my

girlfriend.

Then what happened?

Well... I'd also invited some of my
friends to come and watch.

So they were hanging out in the bushes,
listening when a couple of them started

laughing. And Molly figured out right
away what was going on.

She must have hated you. Oh, yeah.

And I don't blame her.

Nothing further.

Mr. Keenan, I have here a few comment
cards taken from the suggestion box at

Redcoats. Could you read this one,
please?

Service okay.

Onion loaf soggy as a mop.

How about this one?

Porterhouse exceptional.

Lee Grizzly tonight.

Is there a name on that card?

Norman Brunel. Norman Brunel.

Now, tell me, Mr. Keenan, what kind of
grudge does Mr. Brunel have against you?

Excuse me?

Well, what awful thing must you have
done to Mr. Norman Brunel for him to

vengeance against you with the comment
card?

I don't know who this guy is.

Oh, so then it's possible for people to
dislike your food for no other reason

than the taste.

You just cherry -picked the bad cards.

There are dozens of really positive
ones. Well, this isn't about the people

like your food.

Mr. Keenan, it's about the ones like
Carol Gessie who don't.

Nothing further.

How do I look? Is it too roomy in the
chest?

You look very handsome.

Thank you. All right, give me a minute
or so to mingle with the young people

before releasing the hound. Got teeth.

How's it going, you dailies?

Welcome to the new Stucky Bowl.

Rule number one, there are no rules.

You guys ready for this? You ready to
see a man torn to bits by ravenous,

dogs? Up top.

This ain't your daddy's Stucky Bowl, you
dig?

Okay, tell all your teenage friends.

All right.

And God said unto Moses, Let there be
hounds.

Let the mauling begin.

Surely the dogs, let the dogs go.

Have you heard Miss Bessie say anything
about Rich Keenan? Did she ever talk

about him, describe him in any way?

Yes.

What kind of words did she use in
describing him?

Adjectives, mostly.

Well, she better have used adjectives,
right?

She is an English teacher.

Which adjectives?

Uh, I don't know.

Stupid, son of a bitch.

Just your regular run -of -the -mill
adjective.

Didn't Miss Bessie then say she was
going to, quote, bury the son of a

Uh, no.

No, she did not.

But it says right here.

I'm kidding. She said it.

She's trying to keep it light.

Were you and Carol Betsy friends in high
school?

No. Why not?

Well, you could say we ran in different
circles.

And now?

We're friends.

Good friends?

Yes, we're very close.

Is Carol Vesey the kind of friend who
would do just about anything for you?

Carol Vesey is a very good friend, if
that's what you're asking, but she would

never... One last question, Miss Hudson.

How do you feel about the utter
humiliation Rich Keenan subjected you to

day in high school?

Well, there's not a moment that goes by
that I don't think to myself, I, Molly

Hudson, could have been the queen of the
Red Coach restaurant.

Miss Bessie, when you ate at the
Redcoats, did you like the food?

No. The food was awful.

And were you at all influenced in any
way by Mr. Keene's behavior in high

school? Absolutely not.

You do remember the incident, though?

Yes. Yes, I do. When I spoke to my
editor about it, I was concerned that it

would compromise my objectivity.

What did he say?

He said that I should suck it up and be
objective, so I did.

You wrote the truth.

I wrote the truth.

Thank you.

So you admit that you yourself knew that
you couldn't do the job objectively?

No, I thought that at first, but... But
all your bias magically disappeared

after you talked to your editor?

I wrote the truth.

Did you and Mr. Keenan know each other
in high school?

Yes.

Tell me, where were you when he played
this horrible prank on Miss Hudson?

Miss Bessie?

I was there.

In the bushes.

What?

So you were in on it?

I had no part in the planning, but I was
there.

And how do you feel about it now?

Awful. Guilty?

Very. Guilty enough that you'd purposely
harm Mr. Keenan in order to assuage

your own guilt?

No. No. Oh, so you're not that guilty.

No, I didn't say that.

Objection.

Withdrawn.

Nothing further.

Hey. Hey, Cal.

Come on in.

So, how are you holding up?

Well, I blew the case and hurt my best
friend's feelings.

Couldn't be better.

Cal, you didn't blow the case. The law's
still on your side. Trust me.

And I didn't mean to destroy Rich
Keenan.

I really thought the food at his
restaurant was awful.

And maybe it's possible that my dislike
for him may have colored my reaction,

but I honestly tried my very best to
write an objective review and... I know.

I know.

It's all right.

Have you talked to Molly yet?

Oh, no.

It makes me sick.

She looks so hurt.

She'll be fine. You should go talk to
her.

Oh, no.

Maybe I should just let it go.

No. Come on.

Carol, you can't let something like that
slide.

I know.

I know. You're right. I have to go talk
to her.

You should go home and get some sleep.

Tomorrow's a big day. I know.

The verdict.

Every time I hear this word, it feels
sick to my stomach.

It's going to be okay.

Hey.

Hey.

Maltz, I'm so sorry.

There is nothing to be sorry about.

Yes, there is.

It's true that I was there, but I need
you to know that I was a reluctant

participant. I was more of a bystander,
really.

We were kids.

Forget it.

I know we were kids, but I should have
said something.

I was too concerned about what everybody
would think of me to challenge Rich

Keenan.

I was a coward.

It's okay.

It was a long time ago.

I'm going to go to class.

Okay.

Ms. Verdon, your closing statement?

Your Honor, I'll say it quickly and
simply. When Carol Vesey wrote that

she was not a journalist expressing an
opinion.

She was the guilt -ridden best friend of
Molly Hudson.

The review was a weapon used for revenge
and maybe a little salvation, and it is

putting Rich Keenan out of business.

Your Honor, if Carol Vesey was hell
-bent on destroying Rich Keenan's

restaurant, why would she go to her
editor and try and recuse herself from

assignment?

Now, opposing counsel Ms. Verdon claims
Carol Vesey had a motive to hurt Rich

Keenan. You know what? She's right.

But Carol Vesey also had a motive to be
a professional journalist, and that's

the motive that won out.

Thank you.

Sorry my dad came in to see you again.

Ever since my mom died, he decided it's
his job to be twice as annoying.

Don't worry about it.

Listen, I've been doing a lot of
thinking about this, and I've decided

all your fault.

It's what?

Whether or not you know it, Ryan, you've
elected to be a victim.

Is something else being offered?

Because if there is, let me know where
to sign up. You got to take control of

your life.

If those guys want to behave like jerks,
that's their choice. But it's how you

react to the jerkiness that's yours.

Okay. You don't have to be the guy that
just takes the abuse and then skulks

away. Are you saying I should be the guy
who takes the abuse and does a

cartwheel? Yes.

Yes. Well put. That's exactly what I'm
saying.

I'm sorry, Ms. Hudson, but you lost me
on that one. And honestly, I can't even

do cartwheels.

Ryan, don't you... Hunker down and wait
for the storm to pass. Try being the

storm for once. Do you understand?

Oh, should I try being the storm before
or after I awaken the giant within?

I get it. You want me to be more
proactive.

Yes, exactly.

Now, you're not going to go get one of
your dad's guns or something, right?

No, my dad doesn't even have a gun.

All we have for home protection is a
cassette tape of a barking German

Wait a minute.

I have something that vaguely resembles
an idea.

All rise.

How much does this guy hate you?

Quite a bit.

Hopefully not enough to overturn the
Constitution.

After reviewing the testimony, I've
concluded that we'll never know what was

going on in Miss Vesey's mind when she
wrote that review.

But the burden of proof lies with the
plaintiff.

And I'm not convinced that this was,
indeed, an act of vengeance.

The ruling is for the defendant.

Mr. Stevens, I trust that was impartial
enough for you.

Yes, Your Honor.

Hi, everybody.

This is Ryan Noel broadcasting live from
the administrative office of Duckyville

High. And now that I have your
attention, I'd like to get a little

my chest.

And if I could just add one more thing.

I think I've made my point.

I don't know about you guys, but for me,
when life gets to be too much, there's

only one solution.

Playing some music.

What are you doing, Mr. Noel?

You are going to be in

detention forever, Mr. Noel.

Forever.

Bring it on. We are going to discuss
this in my office.

Yes!

Did they like it? Like it? They loved
it. Now instead of the loser, you are

kid that hijacked the PA. Instant
legend. How long do you suppose it'll

Two weeks, maybe three.

Then what?

Well, we'll think of something else.

Yo, you know what? You kill me with that
surprise look on your face when you

leave Philly all day by itself and the
place is messed up. That's right. Clean

that view.

Oh, looks like something out there in
Southern just got banana blasted. Hey,

remember, don't make any trouble today
between the inliers and the

skateboarders. Concentrate on what
unites us. I'll separate the... Phil,

are you doing?

Welcome to a little thing called extreme
bowling.

What? Follow...

I got three things to say.

Insurance, insurance, insurance.

Yeah.

And this would be off -road bowling.

And right over here is what I like to
call Death Lane 3000.

Shirley.

What's going on? That's what we want to
ask you, Ed. We came here to bowl and

you got Lollapalooza going on. Yeah, I
can explain. It's like the dinosaurs as

they watch the giant meteor fall to
Earth.

I can explain, Mr. Mobley. This is
just... The future, Mr.

Mobley. The future.

We just came here to bowl, Ed. I
understand.

We're out of here.

Call us when this place is a bowling
alley again.

No, wait, Mr. Mobley.

Phil, those guys have been coming here
for years. And I'm sure they're

wonderful human beings.

I want the bowling alley back the way it
was.

Phil, plane 15 is going to need more
lighter fluid instead of knee pads and

ambulance.

Mr. Noble.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Your secretary's not
there.

Oh, that's okay. Come in.

I think I sort of owe you an apology.

No. No, that's not necessary, Mr.
Powell.

Please call me Sean.

Okay. Sean.

And I think it is necessary.

Ryan came home happy yesterday.

He told me what you did.

Oh, that's strictly on the down low.

All right.

Right. You know, ever since Ryan's
mother passed on,

it's been kind of tough, you know, for
the two of us to find our footing.

I can only imagine.

Anyway, you were right.

I was wrong.

I guess I forgot what high school was
like, you know, then after we talked.

It all came back to me.

You remember the hyena.

Actually, I think I was a hyena.

What about you?

Wildebeest. But a sassy wildebeest who
could kick some serious hyena ass if

be.

Well, thanks again, Ms. Hudson.

Please don't call me Ms. Hudson.

No?

Call me Principal Hudson.

I'm only kidding.

Okay. Molly, you can call me Molly.

Thanks again, Molly.

You bet.

Remember how we all thought Ed was a big
boob? Well, it turns out he isn't

really. Thank you. I'm just kidding. You
saved me. Thank you.

You're welcome. Frankie, where's your
boyfriend?

He's a -workin'. Ah, workin' no play
makes Lenny a dull boy. Leon. Len. Leon.

Lewis. Leon. Leonard. Leonard.

Leonard. Leonard of all names. Leon.
Lonnie.

Ed, ten bucks.

No, I'll pay you ten bucks. There's no
way we're doing this right now. We just

met this woman. We really like her.
What? What is it?

Mike and Ed have this infantile
tradition where they challenge each

stupid things for ten dollars.

Frankie, you gonna keep the straight
face?

I guess, yeah. Ten bucks, Ed, and you
can get Frankie to laugh in one minute.

Are you kidding? That's like taking
candy from a baby. Ten bucks, Ed. Like,

you've got to be serious. That'll be the
easiest $10 I've ever taken. You ready,

Frankie?

Ready. This isn't filming, so... Ready
to go.

Four seconds.

Four seconds.

He smushed cheesecake all over his face.
That's funny.

Hey, I'm Jack.

Hi, guys.

Ron.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Yeah, sure. Okay, we'll be right back.

So, uh...

When I heard you were involved in the
Rich Keenan thing, I was stunned.

I mean, I know it was eons ago, but I
was stunned. Mom, listen, I'm so sorry

about it. But the thing is, we all have
a choice in life.

And we can either be the person that
everybody wants us to be, or we can be

person that we want to be.

Rich Keenan helped me make that choice.

Still, I should have stopped him. You
know, I've always felt horrible about

Well, I guess he helped you make that
choice, too.

Maybe so.

Anyways, I was wondering, do you know
anything about Ryan Noel's dad?

Nothing, really. I think he's a fireman.

Really?

A fireman?

Yeah, why? What's going on?

Nothing.

Oh, my God, you like him, don't you? I
don't even know him.

Molly, Molly likes the fireman. Molly
likes the fireman. Molly likes the

fireman. Molly likes the fireman.

Molly likes the fireman.

Shortest veggies in a bargain zipper
bag, and now they're... Garbage!

Gilbert, you should have used new Glad
Bags, the only bags with Fresh Protect

technology to help keep these veggies
fresher, longer.

The only ones? Yep.