All language subtitles for Ed s02e15 Nice Guys Finish Last

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,540 Shirley. I've invented a new kind of sandwich. 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,120 Only one piece of bread. 3 00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:10,340 That's an open -faced sandwich. 4 00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:12,680 I invented it. I will name it. Thank you very much. 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,060 Do you know what the deal is with all these trucks lately? 6 00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:25,080 Trucks? Yeah, the... I can't take it anymore. 7 00:00:42,730 --> 00:00:43,750 Hey, where are you headed to, son? 8 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:47,470 Where am I headed to? What you really need is one of them cardboard signs 9 00:00:47,470 --> 00:00:51,010 got your desired destination written on it. Right. For example, if you wanted to 10 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,310 go to Austin, you'd have a sign that said Austin. 11 00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:56,650 Right. If you were going to Tallahassee, you'd have a sign that said 12 00:00:56,650 --> 00:01:00,290 Tallahassee. Tallahassee. If you wanted to go to Las Vegas, you would have a 13 00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:03,750 sign that says Las Vegas on it. Got it. Of course, in that case, you could just 14 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:04,750 go with Vegas. 15 00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:05,910 I'm not hitchhiking anywhere. 16 00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:09,870 Well, in that case, you don't need a sign at all. 17 00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:13,610 Right. Exactly. Right. But I do have a question. What's that? 18 00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:16,870 Why all of a sudden is there so much truck traffic through Stuckyville? B &B 19 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:21,050 truck, and that's what most of us drive for, well, uh, they changed our route. 20 00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:21,889 How so? 21 00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:26,010 Well, you see, they discovered a little hiccup. See, if you get off the highway 22 00:01:26,010 --> 00:01:30,670 up there at exit 4A, zip through Stuckyville, and then get back on the 23 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:33,290 at exit 6B, you avoid a toll. 24 00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:37,830 Saves them a ton of money, that. But it's ruining our lives. That's not my 25 00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,010 Hey, I gotta roll. 26 00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,590 Where there's chaos, there's opportunity, baby. 27 00:01:57,550 --> 00:02:03,430 I'm in... Hell. 28 00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:14,210 When it's my moment in the sun 29 00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:20,650 Oh, how beautiful I'll be 30 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:31,930 sort of way like I am you and you 31 00:02:31,930 --> 00:02:33,330 are me 32 00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:40,730 Molly 33 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,359 How are you doing? 34 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,760 Oh, please don't go into that mode. 35 00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:56,920 What mode? The heartfelt Molly. 36 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,520 How are you doing, mode? 37 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,640 Still haven't talked to him, have you? Nope. 38 00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:05,940 He keeps calling and calling, but I have the will of Lazarus. Was Lazarus known 39 00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:07,820 for having a particularly strong will? 40 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,320 What do you suppose Jim's wife is like? Oh, Molls, like they say on the 41 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,320 afternoon talk shows. 42 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,480 Don't go there, girlfriend. 43 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:15,660 I know, I know, but I'm just so curious. 44 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,600 Well, how about tonight? You want me to come over? We could hang out. You're 45 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,660 going into that mode again. 46 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,240 Sorry. 47 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,860 Hi. Hello, Mr. Martino. 48 00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:28,700 Hi. Come on. Call him Dennis. 49 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:30,760 Dennis. 50 00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:32,360 You're such a jerk. 51 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,240 I have good news. 52 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:38,420 Oh, the students have all had their tongues surgically removed? Not that 53 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,960 Robert Stanley has accepted our offer to speak at the alumni banquet. 54 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,120 Wow. 55 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,480 Really? Mm -hmm. 56 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,060 Wow. 57 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:51,120 So, will you get in touch with his people and organize his travel 58 00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:54,020 Yes, I would be glad to. Thank you. 59 00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:56,920 Robert Stanley, nice going there, Dennis. 60 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,080 Oh, if she gets to, I get to. 61 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,520 Fair enough. 62 00:04:03,420 --> 00:04:04,800 You know what you should do. 63 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,220 No, what should I do? You should give Robert Stanley one of your short stories 64 00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,220 to read. 65 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:16,160 No. Are you kidding me? No, I couldn't do that. He's a big, fancy author. I'm a 66 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,800 small, unfancy, not... 67 00:04:19,019 --> 00:04:21,120 Alter. Come on, Carol. If not now, when? 68 00:04:21,339 --> 00:04:23,280 I mean, you have nothing to lose. No. No. 69 00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:25,660 No. I couldn't even think of it. 70 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,200 This is ridiculous. 71 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,720 Everywhere you look, all day long, all night long, it's bright. 72 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,600 It's like Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, except the trucks. 73 00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:03,180 The trucks. Yeah, I got it. The trucks. 74 00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,240 Hey, isn't that Amy Rubin? Yeah. 75 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,140 Let's go talk to her. 76 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:12,820 Hello, Councilwoman. 77 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,290 Councilwoman. Now, that sounds like trouble, Ed. All right, Amy. You know 78 00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:18,290 and Nancy Burton and Sarah Burton? 79 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:21,750 Hi, Amy. Good to see you. Nice to see you. Hey. So? You want to know what 80 00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:23,090 doing about the trucks? Yes, I do. 81 00:05:23,350 --> 00:05:24,049 We're honest. 82 00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:27,070 We hired a lawyer. He's dealing with B &B trucking. He's trying to get them to 83 00:05:27,070 --> 00:05:28,530 stop. Good. Who is it? 84 00:05:30,190 --> 00:05:32,550 Barry Gleep. Barry Gleep? You've got to be kidding me. 85 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:34,230 No, 86 00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:37,390 I'm not kidding you. We grew up with Barry Gleep. He was a nice guy, but he 87 00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:40,290 always kind of a pushover, wasn't he? I'll say. Well, maybe he's changed. 88 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,060 Has he changed? Ah, yes, he's changed. Barry Gleep is the most incompetent 89 00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:46,340 lawyer in the world. How can you trust some of the most important legal work 90 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,060 this town has ever seen to Barry Gleep? It wasn't the council's decision. 91 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:50,280 It was the mayor's. 92 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:51,500 Ah, I see. What? 93 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,480 Barry Gleep is the mayor's godson. I'm not confirming that was a factor. 94 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,160 the mayor realize that if Barry Gleep screws this up, then Stuckyville will 95 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,140 forever be a truck route? There's nothing I can do. 96 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,280 Hey, come on, buddy, give me one! 97 00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:13,370 I'm just trying to make the best out of a bad situation. Thank you, sir. 98 00:06:16,190 --> 00:06:17,770 Is that on your mind there, Zippy? 99 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,010 Zippy? 100 00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:22,170 Yeah, I thought you needed a nickname. Zippy sounded good. Now that I hear it. 101 00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:23,530 Maybe if I was a chimp. 102 00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:25,590 If you were a chimp, I'd call you Bubble. 103 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:29,210 Isn't that the name of Michael Jackson's chimp? Yeah, but so what? 104 00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:33,190 Bubbles is the ideal name for a chimp. He can't own that. 105 00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:35,890 Seriously. 106 00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:37,110 Something on your mind? 107 00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:38,870 Um... 108 00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:46,000 Yeah, this is... You want another Coke? Yeah, Coke. 109 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,260 Two Cokes, please. 110 00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:49,660 I need a favor. 111 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:50,760 Sure, what do you need? 112 00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:54,240 Well, I was thinking with Robert Stanley coming to town, maybe I could get him 113 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,480 to read one of my short stories. 114 00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:56,880 Hey, that's a good idea. 115 00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:59,880 Yeah, I'll mention it to him. I don't think he'd have a problem reading it. 116 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:04,600 Oh, no, that's not the favor. I have no problem asking him myself. 117 00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:06,320 Oh, then what? 118 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:10,940 Well, you know, I put a lot of... stock in your opinions on literature. I was 119 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:14,200 wondering whether or not you might read my short story and tell me what you 120 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,200 thought of it. 121 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:18,320 Why? It won't take very much time. 122 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:22,040 It's a short story. It has to be short by definition. 123 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:26,700 Bad idea. Why is it a bad idea? Trust me, I'm not the guy for the job. 124 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,780 Why? I want to be a writer. 125 00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:32,420 You have a lot of smart things to say about writing. What's the problem? 126 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:38,160 The problem is that I am very, very discerning on the topic of literature. 127 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,740 Exactly. That's why I want you to read the story. 128 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,420 All right, I'll put this a different way. 129 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,840 I hate everything. 130 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:45,140 You hate everything? 131 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,200 Everything. Including Robert Stanley's writing. 132 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:50,640 How can you hate Robert Stanley's writing? 133 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:55,260 Well, it's a very simple two -step process, really. First I read it, then I 134 00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:56,260 it. Oh. 135 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,840 Carol, my reading your short story is a big mistake. 136 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,300 But there's got to be a little chance that you could like it. Exactly. There 137 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,300 a chance. 138 00:08:05,390 --> 00:08:08,450 Then why don't you read it? Because then there will no longer be a chance. 139 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,190 Because you'd hate it. 140 00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:12,430 Exactly. 141 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:17,950 Yeah. Yes. 142 00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:19,810 Yes. Yeah. 143 00:08:20,850 --> 00:08:25,130 Well, very well. You see, the color of the sweater I ordered from you was 144 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:29,510 seafoam, and the color of the sweater that you sent me was Sahara brown. 145 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:32,990 No, no, I'm quite sure, actually. 146 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:34,330 Uh -huh. 147 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:36,370 I guess I could do that. 148 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,270 Okay, right then. 149 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:44,250 Oh, you take another look at the order form, and I'll take another look at the 150 00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:45,250 Sahara Brown. 151 00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,210 I'll call you back. 152 00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:49,690 Very well, then. 153 00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:50,990 Bye -bye. 154 00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:52,410 Very glee. 155 00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,810 Ed, how you doing? Good, good. 156 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:58,390 So, listen, I hear you're representing Stuckyville against B &B Trucking. 157 00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:01,310 Yes, I am, and, Ed, I think this is the big one. 158 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:06,660 Yeah, it sure is a big one. In case you can't tell, it's been a little quiet 159 00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:07,660 around here. 160 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,380 Practice is a little wobbly. But if I'm the guy who gets rid of the trucks, I 161 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:12,880 think my whole life turns around. 162 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,340 What have you done so far? Hey, I'm all over this. 163 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:27,180 I called up B &B Trucking. I laid out all our problems with the traffic. All 164 00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:30,080 them. And, oh, I got a meeting with their lead counsel. 165 00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:32,290 Well, that's great. 166 00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:34,270 Good for you, Barry. 167 00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:35,290 That's good. That's good. 168 00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:36,650 So when's the big meeting? 169 00:09:37,470 --> 00:09:38,470 Three weeks. 170 00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:40,109 Three weeks? 171 00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,610 Yeah, well, he's got to come all the way in from their home office in Oklahoma. 172 00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:43,689 Barry, no. 173 00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:46,690 You can't meet with this guy in three weeks. Traffic is at a standstill. 174 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,970 Businesses are getting clobbered. You've got to get this guy here tomorrow. 175 00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:50,069 I tried. 176 00:09:50,070 --> 00:09:51,049 He's busy. 177 00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:54,390 Yeah, well, of course. Yeah, of course he's busy. Listen, Barry. 178 00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:57,370 I bet if we file for an injunction to have all his trucks stop immediately, 179 00:09:57,570 --> 00:10:00,050 he'll suddenly no longer be busy and he'll magically find the time to get 180 00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:04,230 Oh, come on, Ed. He said he wanted to come, but he's totally tied up. Three 181 00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:07,650 weeks was the earliest he could get here. Barry, call the man on the phone. 182 00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:09,910 Tell him to be here tomorrow or we'll file for that injunction. 183 00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:11,990 Will you come to the meeting? 184 00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:13,410 Me? 185 00:10:13,450 --> 00:10:14,450 Why? 186 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,710 You know, help out, make sure I don't screw it up. 187 00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:18,510 I'll tell you what. 188 00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:19,750 Make the call. 189 00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:21,590 Get the guy here tomorrow. I'll come to the meeting. 190 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:23,910 Great. I will make the call. 191 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,180 You know I'm a poet? 192 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:32,900 No, sir, I did not. 193 00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:35,960 Yep. I can make a poem about anything. 194 00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,700 What's your name? 195 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 Shirley. 196 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:46,120 Shirley. Shirley Blue Eyes, Queen of Coffee, Shirley Blue Eyes, Smooth 197 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,120 as Toffee. 198 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,040 What do you think about that, Shirley Blue Eyes? 199 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,520 Shirley Blue Eyes. 200 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,140 Well, that reminds me of Mickey Blue Eyes. 201 00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:59,070 which was the movie where Hugh Grant kept saying forget about it in a variety 202 00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:00,070 humorous ways. 203 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:01,490 Pure genius. 204 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,070 Hey, what's going on with the great Robert Stanley? 205 00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:09,290 Molly said you're too chicken to give him one of your stories? 206 00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:12,570 I wanted Dennis to read it first because, you know, he knows a lot about 207 00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:13,570 writing. 208 00:11:14,030 --> 00:11:15,030 And? 209 00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,790 Well, he didn't want to. He thought he might not like it. 210 00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:20,890 Oh. 211 00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:22,870 Hey, wait. 212 00:11:23,870 --> 00:11:26,490 Would you do me a favor and read it? I'd really appreciate it. 213 00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:30,590 No. 214 00:11:30,670 --> 00:11:31,970 No? What? 215 00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:35,790 Look, Carol, you and I have to be careful about something. 216 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,070 What's that? 217 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:42,170 Okay, you go to your closet. 218 00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:46,430 Mm -hmm. All right, and you have two pairs of shoes. One comfortable, one not 219 00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:49,530 comfortable because they're new. Now, you're gonna be tempted to always wear 220 00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:50,530 comfortable pair of shoes. 221 00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:52,370 You could always do that. 222 00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:54,030 You never break in the new pair. 223 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,229 Know what I'm saying? 224 00:11:57,230 --> 00:11:58,230 Mm -hmm. Yeah. 225 00:11:58,650 --> 00:12:00,090 Tell Dennis you need him to read your story. 226 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,030 I'm sure he'll do it if he knows it's important to you. 227 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,850 Guys, it's not just an air freshener. 228 00:12:06,670 --> 00:12:08,410 It's an edible air freshener. 229 00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:13,550 Now, that's a 10 -4 if I ever taste you one good, buddy. 230 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,900 It's me, Jim, again. 231 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:38,860 Look, I know how you feel, but I just got to talk to you, okay? I know I've 232 00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:43,660 screwed up, but, look, you got to give me a chance to set things right, all 233 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:47,420 right, please? Just one chance to talk. That's all I'm asking. 234 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,580 Hello? Molly. 235 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,760 Stop calling me. 236 00:13:04,819 --> 00:13:10,320 Mr. Ryan, the number of trucks coming through Stuckyville is very difficult on 237 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,420 everyone. I understand completely. 238 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,340 And I've tried to reason with the guys running the company. They won't hear it. 239 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:19,720 Okay, but Mr. Ryan, it's very noisy. 240 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,580 Very. I know. 241 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,060 And I'm doing everything I can. But detouring the trucks through Stuckyville 242 00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:31,080 saves B &B over $120 ,000 a year. Right now, things are tight. They need this to 243 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,960 survive. Yeah, right. 244 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,870 Well, can't we work out some sort of compromise? 245 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:40,090 I don't know. Like, what if at least the trucks didn't come through on the 246 00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:41,090 weekends? 247 00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,570 Barry, who is this? 248 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:44,930 Excuse me. It's fine. It's fine. 249 00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:47,350 What are you doing? 250 00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,470 Weekends? I'm opening up a dialogue. 251 00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:51,550 A dialogue? I can handle this. 252 00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:52,890 Just don't screw me up. 253 00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:57,790 Go get him. 254 00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:03,980 I would love... to say yes to the weekends, but the guys won't even listen 255 00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:04,980 proposal like that. 256 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:11,240 Okay. Well, what about just Sundays? I mean, Sunday mornings are just really 257 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,440 difficult. You know what? 258 00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:13,780 I'm going to try. 259 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,800 I am going to go back and beg them to not have any trucks come through 260 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,840 Stuckyville before 11 a .m. on Sundays. 261 00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:26,320 Well, I really appreciate that, Mr. Ryan. But, hey, I can't promise. Okay. 262 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,920 He's going to try to cut down Sunday mornings. 263 00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:40,080 You heard him. There's nothing he could do. 264 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,220 You've lost your mind. This guy's playing you, Barry. This guy is playing 265 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:44,620 I can't do this. 266 00:14:46,660 --> 00:14:48,200 Why don't you just take over? 267 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,400 No, 268 00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:58,620 Barry, I'm not taking over. 269 00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:01,110 Okay, I'm not taking over. You're going to do this. You're going to do this, but 270 00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:03,390 listen to me. All right, now unfollow my advice to the letter. 271 00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:08,150 That's not a problem. 272 00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:15,770 Uh, yeah, we'll just, uh... Just, uh, tell us Mr. Stanley's flight and, uh, 273 00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:16,870 we'll arrange it. 274 00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:18,630 Oh, yeah, very good. 275 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,390 What's up, Spanky? 276 00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:23,070 I don't think so. 277 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,650 It's still better than Zippy, right? 278 00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:25,970 Toss -up. 279 00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:27,170 Oh, still early. 280 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:32,540 So, Dennis, I've been thinking. 281 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,980 About my reading your story? 282 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,380 Come on. Please? 283 00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:38,739 No. 284 00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:39,740 Please. 285 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,720 It's important to me. 286 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,800 Thank you. 287 00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,660 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait. You're not going to read that while I'm 288 00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:00,840 standing here, are you? 289 00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:02,820 I'm going to go. 290 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,440 Mr. Ryan is late. 291 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,100 Of course he's late. 292 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,980 There's a way of setting a tone that says none of this is urgent. By the way, 293 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,140 you notice that you keep calling him Mr. Ryan while he calls you Barry? 294 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,360 Yeah, I guess you're right. 295 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,379 First rule? 296 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,380 Ed, I got it. 297 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,760 First rule. 298 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,950 Fewer words. Fewer words, exactly. 299 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,450 Now, what are you going to say? 300 00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:31,530 Eliminating the trucking on just Sunday mornings is unacceptable. 301 00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:35,550 Perfect. Perfect. And then just sit there as if you'd be happy to sit there 302 00:16:35,550 --> 00:16:36,550 until you both die. 303 00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:37,489 Don't speak. 304 00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:38,510 Don't offer any alternatives. 305 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,350 Just sit there. Keep repeating it. 306 00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:42,330 Hello, Barry. 307 00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,010 Good news. I talked to the guys. 308 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:46,090 They are willing to live without Sunday mornings. 309 00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:50,390 Congratulations. 310 00:16:50,570 --> 00:16:53,610 Mr. Ryan, this isn't really working for us. 311 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,920 It's, uh... It's unacceptable. 312 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,400 What do you mean? 313 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,900 Eliminating the trucking on just Sunday mornings is unacceptable. 314 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:06,900 Whoa. We're about to dot the I's and cross the T's here, and you're throwing 315 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,000 a major curveball. 316 00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:09,880 I mean, what are you saying here, Barry? 317 00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:14,579 I'm saying that eliminating the trucking on just Sunday mornings is 318 00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:15,579 unacceptable. 319 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,160 Gus. 320 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,220 Okay. Well, then I guess we have nothing to discuss. 321 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,530 I can still catch a flight back to Oklahoma. 322 00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,170 I'll tell you what. 323 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,310 Let me give these guys a try. 324 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:56,870 Yeah, it's me. 325 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:58,910 Really? 326 00:17:59,790 --> 00:18:00,790 Really? 327 00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:04,010 That is fantastic news. Great. 328 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:05,650 Thanks. 329 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:06,910 You won't believe this. 330 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,530 They just got out of their budget meeting. They found some extra savings. 331 00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:14,770 They have agreed to the whole weekend, from Friday night at 5 to Monday morning 332 00:18:14,770 --> 00:18:17,230 at 9, no trucks in Stuckyville. 333 00:18:17,970 --> 00:18:18,970 Congratulations, Barry. 334 00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:22,630 That's great news. I'll get you the paperwork by tomorrow. 335 00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:24,810 Take care. 336 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,420 like a cheap card table. 337 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:36,940 That, that was a fake phone call, my friend. 338 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,320 Seriously, how was I? You were great. Oh, hey, did you hear me throw in the 339 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,580 gust? Yeah. Ed, Ed, oh, Ed, I can't thank you enough. 340 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,180 Oh, one problem. 341 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,560 What's that? 342 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:49,940 He can't take that deal. 343 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,380 It's not good enough. 344 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,600 See you tomorrow. 345 00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:54,180 What, what, what? 346 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,480 Wait. 347 00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:03,690 What are you talking about, not take the deal? But the guy went from early 348 00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:05,890 Sunday mornings to the entire weekend. 349 00:19:06,130 --> 00:19:07,510 Not good enough. You're crazy. 350 00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:09,290 I'm taking it, Ed. 351 00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:11,790 The mayor said it was my call, and I'm taking it. 352 00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:12,829 Listen to me. 353 00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:15,630 Listen to me. Before any of this happened, we barely had a truck going 354 00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:18,150 Stuckyville. Now you want to settle for having them here Monday through Friday? 355 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:21,010 If we don't settle and we go to court, we could lose, and then we could have 356 00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:24,210 trucks here seven days a week, and I'll be the guy who'll let that happen. But 357 00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:27,350 if we go to court... And they lose, we eliminate all the trucks. Even the ones 358 00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:29,890 we had before this, even the ones that have to go through Stuckyville now won't 359 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:34,290 be able to. They have as much risk as we do. Yeah, but if we go to court, who 360 00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:35,290 wins? 361 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:37,210 I don't know. We just have to hope they don't let it go to court. 362 00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,550 No. 363 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,390 I'm sorry, Ed. I'm taking the deal. 364 00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:46,110 You don't understand. 365 00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:49,070 I'm not going to let you take this deal. If you don't agree to not take this 366 00:19:49,070 --> 00:19:50,850 deal, I will go to Amy Rubin and I will have you removed. 367 00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:54,450 No. 368 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,020 I know you. You wouldn't do that. 369 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:57,700 I'm taking the deal. 370 00:19:58,660 --> 00:19:59,660 Barry. 371 00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,540 Barry. 372 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,360 Oh, Dennis. Hi. Come on in. Have a seat. 373 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:16,280 Um, I was thinking about you reading my short story, and you know what? I think 374 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,100 you probably shouldn't. I already did. 375 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,260 I know, but let's pretend that you didn't. But I did. 376 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,620 No, you didn't. No, you didn't, okay? 377 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:29,120 So, tonight, you know what? We should rent Mrs. Doubtfire. I would love Robin 378 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,120 Wood. Carol, I read your story. 379 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,680 And? Well? 380 00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:33,059 You hated it. 381 00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:37,060 You hated it because you hate everything. That's fine. Leave it at 382 00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:38,060 didn't hate it. What? 383 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:44,020 It was kind of, um... I thought there was a lot of good stuff in here. 384 00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:45,960 I guess, 385 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,100 uh... Say it, Dennis. 386 00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:52,020 Okay, I hated it. 387 00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:56,940 Really? You hated it? 388 00:20:58,060 --> 00:20:59,220 That's good. That's good. 389 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:00,619 That's good. 390 00:21:00,620 --> 00:21:04,020 What in particular did you hate? 391 00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:06,420 Carol, 392 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,340 what do I know? Oh, tell me, Dennis. I want to learn. You can help me. Okay. 393 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:17,200 Well, I guess then that the characters weren't as sharply defined as maybe they 394 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:17,959 could have been. 395 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,600 You know what? That's a good note. It's good, the characters. All right. 396 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,360 Okay. Which characters in particular? 397 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,150 Um, well, I guess, uh, the sister. 398 00:21:28,390 --> 00:21:29,390 Uh -huh. 399 00:21:29,550 --> 00:21:30,550 And the mother. 400 00:21:31,430 --> 00:21:32,349 Uh -huh. 401 00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:34,190 You know, Carol, this really isn't constructive. 402 00:21:34,650 --> 00:21:38,190 Yes, it is. It is. It is. Look, we are two adults. 403 00:21:38,690 --> 00:21:43,590 Don't you think I deserve the benefit of your honest, unvarnished opinion? 404 00:21:43,790 --> 00:21:46,770 Hmm? I can handle it. Come on. Give it to me. 405 00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:51,350 Okay. Okay. Uh, okay. The plot? 406 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:57,160 I found the plot to be cliched and a little, I don't know, I guess dull. 407 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:02,940 The language I found to be precious and forced and over -eager to please. 408 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,680 And the writing style, I mean, to tell you the truth, I would be hard -pressed 409 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,600 to say that there was an actual particular writing style. 410 00:22:11,820 --> 00:22:15,360 I mean, the thing never evolves into a whole. 411 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,040 But like I said, I really think that there is some good stuff in here. 412 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,280 Wow. 413 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:30,680 Wow. 414 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,000 Sorry. 415 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:38,580 No. Thank you for your honesty. 416 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:40,680 Thanks. 417 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,080 I told you this was a bad idea. 418 00:22:46,420 --> 00:22:47,420 No. 419 00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:48,460 No. 420 00:22:48,940 --> 00:22:51,070 I'm... I'm totally okay with this. 421 00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:55,870 Okay. 422 00:22:59,570 --> 00:23:02,010 Uh, still on for Mrs. Kaufman? 423 00:23:02,390 --> 00:23:03,390 You bet. 424 00:23:12,670 --> 00:23:14,850 Eddie, a woman from the tribal council is here to see you. 425 00:23:18,990 --> 00:23:21,090 Oh, hi. Amy, please. Come on in. Have a seat. 426 00:23:22,290 --> 00:23:23,390 Just heading out. See you, Mike. 427 00:23:24,090 --> 00:23:25,090 Please. 428 00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:31,850 You got to get rid of Barry Gleet. 429 00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:33,410 I'm not so sure, Ed. 430 00:23:34,130 --> 00:23:37,510 I know all about the deal, and I think this may be the best thing we can do. 431 00:23:37,730 --> 00:23:40,190 I don't think so. If we go to court, who wins? 432 00:23:40,570 --> 00:23:44,170 I don't know. I just have a feeling about this. Trucks, seven days a week, 433 00:23:44,170 --> 00:23:44,889 cripple us. 434 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,070 If it's just weekdays... 435 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,400 I think we could survive. Amy, I have a feeling about this. I think we can do 436 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,240 better. I don't know. I think when push comes to shove, these people will back 437 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,940 down. If you lose this, my political career is over. 438 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,280 But if I win? 439 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,580 If you lose, you're the guy on the line. 440 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,120 Not Barry anymore. 441 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:03,880 I know. 442 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:07,880 Okay. 443 00:24:10,540 --> 00:24:11,940 I'll talk to the mayor. Thank you. 444 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:14,360 I won't lose. 445 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:16,320 You talking to me? 446 00:24:18,020 --> 00:24:19,020 Or you? 447 00:24:31,580 --> 00:24:32,640 Sure you didn't like the story? 448 00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:34,180 Why, sure. He tore it apart. 449 00:24:34,580 --> 00:24:37,000 You know, sometimes with criticism, the negatives outweigh the positives. 450 00:24:37,770 --> 00:24:39,670 Yeah, Ed. Yeah. There were no positives. 451 00:24:39,950 --> 00:24:40,669 No positives? 452 00:24:40,670 --> 00:24:44,070 None. None at all? None. Not even a token positive? Like, nice font. Ready 453 00:24:44,070 --> 00:24:44,989 with the Times New Roman? 454 00:24:44,990 --> 00:24:49,510 Ed, he hated everything about it. It was as if I said, sweetie, here, look at my 455 00:24:49,510 --> 00:24:50,870 innermost thoughts and feelings. 456 00:24:51,370 --> 00:24:53,310 I have gazed upon them and I find them worthless. 457 00:24:55,030 --> 00:24:56,030 You called Dennis, sweetie? 458 00:24:56,330 --> 00:24:57,329 Ed. Yeah? 459 00:24:57,330 --> 00:24:58,330 No. 460 00:24:58,970 --> 00:25:01,770 Just, look, Carol, if you're going to pursue this writing thing, you're 461 00:25:01,770 --> 00:25:03,330 going to have to develop a bit of a thicker skin. 462 00:25:03,550 --> 00:25:04,550 That's easy for you to say. 463 00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:05,570 Do not. 464 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,660 Let this get in your way. You have a big opportunity with this family guy. 465 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,160 Oh, you think I'm ever going to let another human being lay eyes on a single 466 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,180 word of that story? 467 00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:16,320 You've got to. Nope. You have to. Can't. It's the only way to move forward. 468 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:17,520 Uh -uh. 469 00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:21,100 What do you call Dennis? 470 00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:22,180 I forget it. I don't want to know. 471 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,460 You call him. I forget it. 472 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:31,180 Do you call... Paul tells us that we are to love our wives and 473 00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:33,780 children as Christ loved the church. 474 00:25:34,180 --> 00:25:35,460 Have you ever thought about... 475 00:25:40,010 --> 00:25:40,929 What's going on? 476 00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:41,929 What is it? 477 00:25:41,930 --> 00:25:43,250 It's our truck stop chapel. 478 00:25:43,550 --> 00:25:48,710 You have got to be kidding me. Bosco, truckers don't live on gas, grass, and 479 00:25:48,710 --> 00:25:52,470 alone. They need spiritual sustenance to keep rolling down life's lonely 480 00:25:52,470 --> 00:25:54,510 highway. Clear up my office now. 481 00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:57,490 Bosco, make an amend on these guys. Which would be terrific, Phil, if their 482 00:25:57,490 --> 00:25:58,770 trucking company weren't ruining our town. 483 00:26:03,910 --> 00:26:07,070 All right, that concludes our service. 484 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,640 But you'll never forget the fun we had thanks to your very own Jesus travel 485 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,420 That's right, Jesus himself could not have designed a better spill -proof 486 00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:16,420 sipping lid. 487 00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:21,540 Now, so unchain your wallets and follow me to the shoe counter. 488 00:26:39,450 --> 00:26:43,350 Ed. Hey, Barry, please, step into my, um, chapel. 489 00:26:55,210 --> 00:26:56,210 I'm sorry. 490 00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:59,870 So you really did it, huh? You went to the town council. 491 00:27:00,070 --> 00:27:01,029 I told you I would. 492 00:27:01,030 --> 00:27:06,230 Look, Barry, I want you to know it wasn't easy for me, but business is 493 00:27:06,630 --> 00:27:08,290 Unless you happen to be the mayor's godson. 494 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:10,120 What do you mean? 495 00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:11,340 They didn't fire me. 496 00:27:13,220 --> 00:27:17,480 They didn't? Mayor Kendricks wouldn't go for it. He insisted they keep me on the 497 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,740 case. Has Kendricks even seen that deal you want to make? 498 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,580 Doesn't he know what he'll do to Stuckyville? 499 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,080 I don't know if he does. 500 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,740 But I do. 501 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,620 I want to reject the deal. 502 00:27:34,140 --> 00:27:35,140 Are you serious? 503 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,540 If you are wrong about this, I am dead. 504 00:27:40,740 --> 00:27:41,740 Barry. 505 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,160 Let's go to work. 506 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,520 Is this Chris Christopherson? 507 00:27:52,580 --> 00:27:56,640 Molly. Molly, please. We have to talk. No. No, no, no. It's just five minutes. 508 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:57,840 Go away. 509 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:01,960 But I have to... Get out of this school right now or my hand to God, I will kick 510 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,020 your ass right here in front of the A .V. squad. 511 00:28:14,190 --> 00:28:15,190 How you feeling, my man? 512 00:28:15,490 --> 00:28:16,490 A little nervous. 513 00:28:17,090 --> 00:28:19,750 You're going to be fine. Just got to walk in there and tell Ryan what's what. 514 00:28:19,790 --> 00:28:20,769 I'll be right behind you. 515 00:28:20,770 --> 00:28:24,130 Behind me? Oh, that's good. That way he can catch me when I pass out. Barry, you 516 00:28:24,130 --> 00:28:25,330 can handle this. You're right. 517 00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:26,770 You're right. 518 00:28:26,950 --> 00:28:30,170 Ryan and I are both rational people. We'll just put our heads together and 519 00:28:30,170 --> 00:28:31,450 something out. No, you won't. 520 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:34,110 What? You're not going to get this done by being rational. 521 00:28:34,430 --> 00:28:35,189 Why not? 522 00:28:35,190 --> 00:28:36,230 It's irrational to be rational. 523 00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:38,330 It's actually more rational to be irrational. 524 00:28:38,970 --> 00:28:39,970 Please talk normal. 525 00:28:40,410 --> 00:28:41,930 All right, case in point. Here's an example. 526 00:28:42,210 --> 00:28:45,930 Say you and I were two rational guys. We both got loaded guns. We're pointing at 527 00:28:45,930 --> 00:28:47,110 one another, and I say, give me your wallet. 528 00:28:47,670 --> 00:28:50,270 You don't want to give me your wallet, so you being a rational guy, what would 529 00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:53,690 you say? I say you can't shoot me because then I'd shoot you back. We'd 530 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:55,490 dead, so no, you can't have my wallet. 531 00:28:56,150 --> 00:28:58,710 Perfectly rational answer. But what if instead a good old rational Ed Stevens, 532 00:28:58,850 --> 00:29:01,890 what if instead I'm a raving psycho lunatic? I'm waving the gun around. I'm 533 00:29:01,890 --> 00:29:04,410 screaming nonsense. I'm hooting. I'm hollering. Give me your wallet. Give me 534 00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:06,350 your wallet. What do you say? I give you my wallet. Why? 535 00:29:06,690 --> 00:29:10,040 Because... I can't trust you to do the smart thing and protect yourself. 536 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,960 Yes, yes. So because I'm irrational, I get your wallet. 537 00:29:14,700 --> 00:29:16,200 Sometimes it's more rational to be irrational. 538 00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:17,740 Huh. 539 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,200 Hey, listen, Barry, why don't you go to the drugstore and get us a couple of pre 540 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,080 -negotiations? I'll be right with you. 541 00:29:26,980 --> 00:29:27,980 Okay. 542 00:29:40,950 --> 00:29:41,950 May I? 543 00:29:42,050 --> 00:29:43,050 Yeah, sure. Sit down. 544 00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:45,410 Listen. How's the sports? 545 00:29:45,890 --> 00:29:46,910 No, I'm good. Carpage? 546 00:29:47,190 --> 00:29:50,090 No, I'm fine. I'd offer you the word jumble, but I solved it already. 547 00:29:50,630 --> 00:29:51,630 Rutabaga. 548 00:29:52,270 --> 00:29:53,270 Actually, 549 00:29:53,650 --> 00:29:55,590 I wanted to talk to you about something. 550 00:29:56,270 --> 00:29:57,029 What's that? 551 00:29:57,030 --> 00:29:58,030 It's about Carol. 552 00:29:58,330 --> 00:29:59,330 Fessy. 553 00:29:59,650 --> 00:30:01,230 About that story she wrote. Yeah. 554 00:30:01,850 --> 00:30:03,650 Your review kind of knocked the wind out of her. 555 00:30:05,190 --> 00:30:06,490 Yeah, I'm aware of it. 556 00:30:07,490 --> 00:30:11,950 Look, Dennis, I know you're in a tough position, and this may not be any of my 557 00:30:11,950 --> 00:30:15,870 business. I think she should give that story to that Robert Stanley guy. 558 00:30:16,070 --> 00:30:19,170 I mean, not that anything might come of it, something might come of it. I don't 559 00:30:19,170 --> 00:30:23,310 know. I just think it's important that she take that first step, and she won't 560 00:30:23,310 --> 00:30:24,590 unless she gets some encouragement from you. 561 00:30:26,690 --> 00:30:28,830 You and Carol are pretty close, huh? 562 00:30:29,210 --> 00:30:30,210 Yeah. 563 00:30:30,810 --> 00:30:32,090 But you two never, uh... 564 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,540 I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry. 565 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,700 No, it's fine. We never went out. 566 00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:44,780 I just find it interesting, that's all. 567 00:30:45,580 --> 00:30:49,700 You don't see too many genuine friendships between men and women. 568 00:30:50,620 --> 00:30:51,660 Especially beautiful women. 569 00:30:53,200 --> 00:31:00,200 You know, the guys always want to... Yeah, but you guys are the 570 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,200 real thing. 571 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,360 I know I've never had a friendship like that. 572 00:31:05,710 --> 00:31:06,710 I don't think I really could. 573 00:31:11,510 --> 00:31:12,710 I gotta go. 574 00:31:14,210 --> 00:31:15,210 See you, Dennis. 575 00:31:16,010 --> 00:31:17,010 See you. 576 00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:18,710 Mr. 577 00:31:26,490 --> 00:31:27,590 Ryan is here to see you. 578 00:31:31,110 --> 00:31:32,110 Send him in. 579 00:31:39,660 --> 00:31:40,660 How you boys doing? 580 00:31:40,980 --> 00:31:42,860 Barry, get your facts. Everything looks terrific. 581 00:31:43,260 --> 00:31:45,320 We've got some papers to sign. 582 00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:57,240 Barry, talk to me, buddy. 583 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,620 Well, I've got the papers right here. 584 00:32:00,580 --> 00:32:02,400 But I'm not going to sign them. 585 00:32:03,100 --> 00:32:04,680 I'm taking back the offer. 586 00:32:04,980 --> 00:32:06,320 What? I... 587 00:32:07,790 --> 00:32:12,050 Yeah, I've decided I'm not comfortable with the terms of the deal. 588 00:32:12,290 --> 00:32:13,290 You're not comfortable? 589 00:32:14,790 --> 00:32:18,490 What is this, open mic night at Yuck Yucks? You're joking, right? 590 00:32:20,550 --> 00:32:25,850 You're going to have B &B Trucking restore the traffic to its normal level. 591 00:32:26,070 --> 00:32:27,770 Why would I possibly agree to do that? 592 00:32:28,050 --> 00:32:32,090 Because if you don't, I'm going to take you to court. 593 00:32:32,590 --> 00:32:36,930 And when I'm through, those trucks won't be able to come within 50 miles of this 594 00:32:36,930 --> 00:32:40,690 town. And how's your client going to feel about that? Gleef, we both know 595 00:32:40,690 --> 00:32:41,770 not taking me to court. 596 00:32:42,070 --> 00:32:47,730 I will mop the floor with you. This town will be ass -deep in trucks, and 597 00:32:47,730 --> 00:32:52,010 everybody will know it's your fault. I will end your career, my little friend. 598 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,440 I don't care. 599 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:04,760 What? 600 00:33:05,180 --> 00:33:08,160 I don't care. 601 00:33:09,060 --> 00:33:10,960 I want to go to court. 602 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,880 Yeah, I got nothing to lose. 603 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,580 You have everything to lose. Okay, yeah, right. Well, so what? 604 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:18,960 Bring it on. 605 00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:22,140 Yeah, you know what I'm going to do if I lose this case? 606 00:33:22,380 --> 00:33:24,120 I'm going to throw a party. 607 00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:28,510 That's right. I'm going to draw a giant four -star whoop -dee -doo. And then you 608 00:33:28,510 --> 00:33:31,750 know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give up this pathetic law practice, and 609 00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:33,690 I'm going to take my ass to Hawaii. 610 00:33:34,110 --> 00:33:35,110 That's right, Hawaii. 611 00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:41,650 You know, grass skirts and volcanoes and roast pig and snorkeling. That's right, 612 00:33:41,690 --> 00:33:45,790 snorkeling. I'm going to snorkel myself silly. Yeah, see, I don't need any of 613 00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:47,910 this. Look, calm down, okay? 614 00:33:48,950 --> 00:33:52,490 You have until 8 o 'clock tonight to accept my offer. 615 00:33:54,570 --> 00:33:58,630 P .M. Sharp, I'm taking you to court. Win, lose, I don't care. 616 00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:03,750 Jabba -dabba -doo! 617 00:34:09,170 --> 00:34:11,050 There's just no talking to him when he gets like that. 618 00:34:24,969 --> 00:34:25,969 Yabba -dabba -doo. 619 00:34:26,370 --> 00:34:30,110 I needed a big closer. It was the first thing that popped into my head. I'm 620 00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:32,810 telling you, Mike, truly, this is one of the greatest things I've ever seen in 621 00:34:32,810 --> 00:34:33,810 my entire life. 622 00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:37,170 Barry's going crazy. Gosh, Brian's just sitting there like he's been hit in the 623 00:34:37,170 --> 00:34:38,170 head with a brick. 624 00:34:38,389 --> 00:34:41,730 It's not going to work. He's going to call our bluff. He's going to take us to 625 00:34:41,730 --> 00:34:42,830 court. I don't think so. 626 00:34:43,030 --> 00:34:44,030 You better be right. 627 00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:47,030 Well, Barry, I've got something to take your mind off your troubles. What's 628 00:34:47,030 --> 00:34:48,030 that? 629 00:34:48,070 --> 00:34:52,690 Ten bucks to order a brandy. Wait, wait, wait. You guys still do those $10 bets? 630 00:34:53,580 --> 00:34:55,100 Occasionally, yeah. That's all you got? 631 00:34:55,380 --> 00:34:56,699 Word of brandy, that's it? 632 00:34:57,300 --> 00:35:00,300 You have to say the word brandy 20 times. 633 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:03,740 Excuse me. 634 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,100 Frank? Yeah, 635 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:13,460 um, can I get a brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy? Brandy, 636 00:35:13,460 --> 00:35:17,240 brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, brandy, 637 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,240 brandy, brandy. 638 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,980 With a twist? 639 00:35:35,450 --> 00:35:38,510 Hey. I was wondering if you would take the time to read something I wrote. 640 00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:40,130 Something you wrote? 641 00:35:40,950 --> 00:35:42,690 What's the deal, Dennis? Just play along, please. 642 00:35:43,030 --> 00:35:44,030 Okay. 643 00:35:45,670 --> 00:35:47,730 My Life as a Critic by Dennis Martino. 644 00:35:47,950 --> 00:35:51,970 I thought Raiders of the Lost Ark would be an embarrassing box office flop. 645 00:35:52,970 --> 00:35:55,450 I thought the Wendy's fast food chain would fail. 646 00:35:55,710 --> 00:35:57,490 Couldn't see people going for those square burgers. 647 00:35:57,730 --> 00:36:02,530 I thought Aquaman would eventually become more popular than Superman. 648 00:36:02,770 --> 00:36:03,770 You just seem more relatable. 649 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:09,180 I thought the most successful Saturday Night Live alum would be Tim Kazerinsky. 650 00:36:09,260 --> 00:36:10,620 Who's Tim Kazerinsky? 651 00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:15,060 Well, that's quite a track record you got there, Dennis. 652 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,600 Look, I'm glad you value my opinions, but I just want to make sure you put 653 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:19,600 in the proper context. 654 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:22,040 Mm -hmm. 655 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:33,880 Attention, truck driver. 656 00:36:34,380 --> 00:36:39,760 If you move your truck, I will give you a 50 % discount on fuzzy dice. 657 00:36:40,980 --> 00:36:43,120 Act now or this will not last. 658 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:47,400 Moscow, these guys will not move their trucks. Nobody can get in or out. 659 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,880 squeezing the life out of us. My God, I knew it. We are so screwed. This is 660 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:53,280 horrible. What are we going to do? 661 00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:57,780 Nothing. They'll call by 8. What, are you crazy? They're trying to intimidate 662 00:36:57,780 --> 00:37:00,620 us. There's no reason to do that unless they're afraid to go to court. 663 00:37:02,020 --> 00:37:03,280 Ryan just blinked. 664 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,680 Come on, guys! 665 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:12,840 Come on! 666 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:25,680 Mr. Stanley. 667 00:37:26,140 --> 00:37:27,820 Hi. Can I get you anything? 668 00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:30,580 Um, just a glass of water, please. 669 00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:37,990 By the way, I have written an incredibly boring speech for the night. 670 00:37:38,410 --> 00:37:39,530 Hope that's not a problem. 671 00:37:39,830 --> 00:37:41,630 No, that works for me. 672 00:37:44,250 --> 00:37:51,150 Um, Mr. Stanley, I'm sure you get bothered with this all the time, but 673 00:37:51,150 --> 00:37:53,470 consider reading something that I wrote? 674 00:37:55,430 --> 00:37:56,590 It would be a pleasure. 675 00:37:57,730 --> 00:37:58,730 Really? 676 00:37:59,030 --> 00:38:00,990 Thank you so much. 677 00:38:17,550 --> 00:38:18,770 Tilt down. 678 00:38:20,710 --> 00:38:22,230 No chance. 679 00:38:22,490 --> 00:38:23,930 Don't forget it. 680 00:38:24,130 --> 00:38:30,290 Break down if you let it. Could be so far away 681 00:38:30,290 --> 00:38:31,550 now. 682 00:38:38,610 --> 00:38:39,610 Energy. 683 00:38:40,750 --> 00:38:42,010 Take you. 684 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:48,460 Really wired. 685 00:38:50,780 --> 00:38:53,960 Slow down, don't forget it. 686 00:39:25,819 --> 00:39:27,700 Hello? Oh, hi, Amy. 687 00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:29,860 No, he never called. 688 00:39:30,260 --> 00:39:32,600 Listen, I'm sorry about this. 689 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:34,160 Yeah, I will. 690 00:39:34,580 --> 00:39:35,580 Bye. 691 00:39:36,900 --> 00:39:39,140 Barry, I feel terrible about this. I blew it. 692 00:39:40,700 --> 00:39:41,820 I can't believe this. 693 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:46,640 What do we do now? 694 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:50,800 Hello? 695 00:39:51,100 --> 00:39:52,140 Yeah, just a moment. 696 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,520 It's for you. 697 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,040 Who is it? 698 00:39:55,050 --> 00:39:56,049 Just some guy. 699 00:39:56,050 --> 00:39:57,570 Name of Gus Ryan. 700 00:39:58,510 --> 00:40:01,430 Gus... That... That's him? 701 00:40:02,310 --> 00:40:04,770 He's on the phone right now? That's him right there on the phone? 702 00:40:05,230 --> 00:40:09,110 Oh, my... Uh... Uh... Uh... Take it. 703 00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:10,490 Uh... Okay. 704 00:40:14,050 --> 00:40:15,050 Hello, 705 00:40:17,490 --> 00:40:18,490 Gus. 706 00:40:19,770 --> 00:40:22,710 So I searched the Internet for my name. You know, just to... 707 00:40:23,130 --> 00:40:26,330 see what would come up, and there was this one page, so I clicked on it, and 708 00:40:26,330 --> 00:40:28,410 there was a picture of a gopher. 709 00:40:28,830 --> 00:40:30,030 A gopher? 710 00:40:30,950 --> 00:40:34,610 Yeah, because there was a website, and she had a pet gopher, and its name was 711 00:40:34,610 --> 00:40:35,448 Molly Hudson. 712 00:40:35,450 --> 00:40:37,910 Is it even legal to domesticate a gopher? 713 00:40:38,110 --> 00:40:43,210 I don't... Excuse me. 714 00:40:44,030 --> 00:40:45,030 What? 715 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,620 You have now officially crossed the line from annoying to creepy as all hell. 716 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,840 Sorry, Molly, but I'm not going to stop until you hear me out. Okay? I'm just 717 00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:58,839 not going to stop. 718 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,080 All right. Fine. 719 00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,540 Talk. But you've got exactly 30 seconds. 720 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,820 That's right. Let's see how many married guy cliches Jim Frost can cram into 721 00:41:06,820 --> 00:41:09,800 just 30 seconds, starting now. 722 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,380 Molly, I can't. 26, 25. 723 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:14,120 Let's go. Come on, Jim. 724 00:41:14,260 --> 00:41:18,500 Come on. You're sorry that you lied to me. You're going to get a divorce. You 725 00:41:18,500 --> 00:41:20,360 never meant for it to happen like this. 726 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,420 19, 18, 17. 727 00:41:23,860 --> 00:41:24,860 I love you. 728 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,040 That's it? 729 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:31,118 That's it? 730 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,400 You've got 15 seconds left. 731 00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:34,340 I don't want 15 seconds. 732 00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:36,320 I want the rest of our lives. 733 00:41:49,610 --> 00:41:53,450 Allow me to conclude with a quotation from journalist Gene Fowler. 734 00:41:54,310 --> 00:41:59,950 The best way to become a successful writer is to read good writing, remember 735 00:42:00,050 --> 00:42:03,210 and then forget where you remember it from. 736 00:42:05,430 --> 00:42:07,010 Thank you, everyone. Good night. 737 00:42:23,859 --> 00:42:27,980 Here's to Ed Stevens, master negotiator. Can I tell you, Mikey boy, Ed Stevens 738 00:42:27,980 --> 00:42:28,819 plays to win. 739 00:42:28,820 --> 00:42:31,260 You do, no? That's right, my friend. Because when it comes to negotiations, 740 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,960 you've got to be fearless. You've got to be unflappable. You've got to be the 741 00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,580 toughest guy in the room. You know why, Mike? Why, Ed? You know why, Mike? Why, 742 00:42:36,620 --> 00:42:38,820 Ed? Because nice guys finish last. 743 00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:40,078 Hi, guys. 744 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,080 Hey, Carol. 745 00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:42,340 Ed, I wanted to say thank you. 746 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,460 For what? Well, for pushing me to show that story to Dennis. You were so right 747 00:42:46,460 --> 00:42:50,640 about it. It was worth it. Did you give it to Mr. Stanley? Yes, I did. I did. 748 00:42:50,700 --> 00:42:52,660 And Dennis and I... 749 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:54,560 It's great. 750 00:42:55,820 --> 00:42:57,880 Oh. So thanks. Oh. 751 00:42:58,940 --> 00:42:59,940 You're welcome. 752 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,240 Bye. 753 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:09,140 So, uh, Ed, well, what's that you were saying about nice guys? They finish 754 00:43:09,140 --> 00:43:14,380 first? No. All right, Mike. They finish in the middle. All right, Mike. No, no, 755 00:43:14,380 --> 00:43:15,760 no. I meant they finish last. 756 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:17,600 That's it. 757 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:19,580 They finish last. 55913

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