All language subtitles for Ed s02e13 Youth Bandits

Jim, I'm sick of you two lovebirds
looking at each other like that. Now,

get out of my sight. That's right, all
of you. Hit the bricks.

It's pretty good there, Ed, your regular
soupy sail.

See you later.

That's right, hit the bricks. Say it
walking, kid. Show off.

Hey, Carol.

Hey, Carol's here. Carol can be on your
team. What are you talking about? I'm

already strapped with Nancy.

Hey, I'm a flying bowler. Who's talking
about bowling?

Oh, look, honey, there goes what little
chance you had of having sex tonight.

Hey,

what's the matter?

Um... I just read in the paper that
Larry Parker died.

What?

Well,

I feel bad.

Like, am I supposed to bawl after you
find out somebody's died?

Like, turn.

Oh, how beautiful.

The car was traveling south on Grandview
Avenue just before Greenbrook Road when

it apparently skidded on some wet leaves
and slid into a telephone pole, police

said. Mr. Parker was rushed to St.
Luke's Medical Center where he was

dead at 11 .14 p .m.

He survived by his wife Rita and his son
Ryan.

Can I ask who he was?

Just a guy we all went to high school
with. I haven't actually spoke to him

since we graduated.

Such a shock. I'm like, you talked to
him?

No, not since high school.

You and Gary Parker?

We didn't exactly travel in the same
circles back then.

Actually, I dated his older brother for
a couple years.

Right, Brian.

Hey, um, weren't you in that geeky band
with him?

Oh, that's right. What was the name of
that?

It's not... It's unimportant.

It's unimportant.

Youthful Dimensions or... No, no, no,
no, no. It's, um... It was Band of You.

What was it, you guys?

Youth Bandits.

What? The Youth Bandits. The band's name
was Youth Bandits. Oh, right.

32 years old, a wife, a kid.

One day everything's fine, the next it's
gone.

Yeah, sometimes life is especially good
at sucking.

Oh, I blew it.

Simply put, I blew it.

How about now?

Do I look Spanish now?

What is it with you and Spanish Club
anyway?

Hey. I work hard, I play hard.

Hey, guys, excuse me, I'm moping over
here. Can I get a little attentione, por

favor? You're pathetic.

You went on a date with Jessica Martel.
She didn't have a good time. Gee, I

wonder why.

Could it be because she's a boring,
shallow airhead who'd rather hang out

her boring, shallow airhead friends? No,
no, no, no, that's just it. I'm telling

you, she's none of those things.

You're having trouble thinking through
your testosterone.

And, of course, here we say
testosterone.

I'm telling you, she's just like one of
us. Yeah, Jessica Martel is just like

us. Every guy in school wants Jessica
Martel. Last time a woman wanted me was

when my grandmother spent three days
believing I was Ephraim Zimbalist Jr.

I gotta do something.

You know, Jessica and I were clicking.
We were synced up.

And then I inadvertently implied I was
happy she wasn't a bitch. And that was

it. Kaput. Game over.

Just talk to her, Jessica.

I tried.

She's written me off.

No, no, no.

What's called for now is a grand gesture
of apology.

Who is Ephraim Zimbalist, Jr.? Oh, Matt.

Oh, God.

Matt.

Matt.

Oh, hey.

Mike. Mike.

Mike, we didn't know you. I didn't think
you were... Honey, this is so not what

it looks like. It's not what it looks
like, Matt. Yeah.

You two never get tired of that joke, do
you?

No.

In this way, if you ever do catch us,
we're going to have an out. If you get

to have sex, God bless you. He just gave
us a green light. We'll be back

downstairs in an hour. Honey, with you,
I'm thinking it's more like 45 seconds.

Whoa, whoa. Hey, check this stuff I
found in the attic. Oh, my God.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, did you go to the Parkers? Yeah.

And? How'd it go?

Oh, it was horrible.

Yeah? I haven't seen the family in
years. They're just really...

broken up over all this. Thank you.
You're welcome. Yeah, I'm sure they are.

This wife is so nice.

She's about our age.

They have this adorable little son.

It's just, I don't know.

It's sad.

It is sad. Here, look at some old
embarrassing pictures of Mike and I to

you up.

I don't want to do the trick.

Bingo.

Someone called the geek police.

Oh, heavens.

What were you two thinking?

What's wrong with it? Hey, as long as
you call in the geek police.

Ta -da.

Oh, God.

Lloyd.

Actually, I think you look kind of hot.

Really? Yeah. Kind of?

Settle down, married people.

Bill.

Hello, Molly. I know the gang all thinks
it's adorable to call you Molls, but

rather than make everyone with an
earshot throw up, I'm going to stick

Molly. What are you doing here?

Well, Bertie told me about your adult
education class.

What is this?

Philip Washington Stubbs? I'm going to
need a high school diploma.

You didn't graduate high school? Left
after the 10th grade.

Why?

Let's just say that certain business
opportunities arose.

Now, do you think I could get a diploma
with one of those gold seals on it, or

does that cost extra?

Phil. I'm not just going to give you a
high school diploma.

You want a flat screen TV?

What? I can get you a flatty for 200
bucks. You pop a DVD into one of those

of bitches, you'll have surround sound
shooting out your ass.

As much as I appreciate the lovely
offer, if you actually want a high

diploma, you're going to have to sit
down and take my class.

Right.

It's all about appearances.

Gotcha.

Why don't you wink at me?

Hey, how you doing?

Nice three -ring binder.

Fun to be me.

Oh, look at this one.

Oh, there we are, the youth bandits.

17 years old, not a care in the world.

Yeah, never in a million years would you
guess what would happen to him.

You know, maybe we should take all the
pictures of Larry and him and give them

to his family. Oh, that's a nice idea.

Hey, they'd like that.

Mike. What?

Oh, my God, I forgot all about that.

Me too.

It's a video. What is it? Should we
watch it? We'll know what's on there,

What's on there? I think we should watch
it. We should pretend we didn't find

it. We did find it. Okay, Maya and Ginny
actually died of curiosity, so be

aware. I have that gene.

Put it in.

It's me, Larry.

So, uh, I've been thinking about...
She's a bitch, but I love her.

And, uh, I really think if we get that
song into the right hands, we could pop.

I'm serious.

I'm talking big time, all the way.

Immortality, baby. Golden dreams!

Whoa!

Man, what a little spaceship it's been,
right?

So, uh, listen.

I just want you guys to know that...

You've been this means world to me.

I mean when I'm here jamming. That's the
happiest I get And I

want you guys to promise me something
Promise me And when I die no

matter not together anymore no matter
where you are no matter what's going on

your lives Once you promise me that
you'll come to my funeral Reunite youth

bandits

In place, she's a bitch, but I love her.

I mean, how cool would that be, right?

It'd be the happiest moment of my life.

I mean, you know.

So, promise me that.

Anyway, all right, I gotta split. I'm
gonna go take Michelle to go see Space

Boss.

Peace.

What are we going to do?

Oh, you can't be serious.

Of course I'm serious.

No, you're not.

You're not serious. Yes, I'm serious.
You saw the tape. We promised him. We

him we'd do it. There's no way we're
going to reassemble some crappy high

rock band and ruin the funeral of a guy
we haven't spoken to in 15 years. I said

no matter where, no matter when, I want
you guys to get together and play...

That song at my funeral. You want to
play She's a Bitch, But I Love Her at a

man's funeral? I don't necessarily want
to, but I think that just might be our

duty here.

Ed. What? That tape was made by a 17
-year -old kid. So what? So he's a 17

-old kid who didn't understand anything.

Did you promise him?

Mike, did you promise him?

Yes, because I was a 17 -year -old kid
who didn't understand anything. Well, I

promised him, too, okay? And I'll see
how we can turn our back on our promise.

Ed. What? You are being crazy about
this. Now, look, we all always go along

your ridiculous ideas, but not this
time. Case closed.

Let it go. I can't let it go. You know
why? I made a promise to a friend. Yeah,

I know.

Fifteen years ago. You know what?

I don't care. He asked us to play the
song. I told him I would play the song.

I'm playing the song.

Nancy, tell him this is a ridiculous
thing to do.

Anyone want some cashews?

I think they're nice.

Party.

Ed! What?

It's not about what you should or
shouldn't do at Larry Parker's funeral.

is about his family, his wife, his son.

Don't you think there's someone else who
should be consulted here?

Who? Barney Stacuzzo. Who is Barney
Catuzzi? Barney Stacuzzo was the fourth

youth band. Barney Stacuzzo was insane
back then, and he's probably in a nut

house now. The only reason we let him
into the band was because he had a

who was a security guard at the William
Morris agents.

Barney Stacuzzo was abandoned. I think
he deserves a say.

Hurry, hurry.

There's a small window of opportunity
here.

Cheswick, this is stupid.

It's not stupid. This is brilliant.

Has the element of surprise, romance.

How did you get Jessica's lock
combination in her? Don't you worry your

little head about that.

No, no,

no.

Hey.

Hey, all right?

See if she's coming. Watch your knees.

Ow!

Good luck.

She's coming.

Okay. Okay, excuse me.

Sorry. Head between the knees.

Head between the knees. Warren, what
were you doing hiding in my locker?

I just wanted to... I wanted to
apologize for messing up our date.

Boys, I brought you these.

They're roses.

My parents are going out of town and I'm
having a party at my place.

What? Am I... Are you coming?

I didn't even... Am I invited?

Yes.

Yeah, cool.

Okay.

Let's go.

Protons, neutrons, electrons.

So then the atom is... Is that yours?

No, that's mine.

Mr. Stubbs.

Enrique. Que pasa, my brother?

Mr. Stubbs.

Are you kidding me? I want as many as
you can get your hands on.

Phil.

Enrique is a talker.

Okay, um, we are out of time anyway, so
I will see you all on Thursday. Thank

you.

Does anyone here need any walkie
-talkies?

Anybody? They make great gifts. Hey,
great job tonight.

Seriously, really knew your stuff.

Phil. This is not going to work out.
Yeah, how is this going to work anyway?

mean, I am happy to show up here a few
more times, you know, so everyone can

my face.

Phil, I am not giving you a diploma.

What? If you want a diploma, you are
going to have to pass this course just

everyone else.

Wow, you think you know somebody. This
has been a very educational night.

Very educational.

Phil Napo.

Model student you thought he'd be?

Yeah, you could say that.

Might I suggest a one -two punch pizza
and beer with Mr.

Friendly Face?

Well,

only if you can promise to hold that ace
the whole night.

You got it.

I think my cheeks are cramping.

I don't see how you can both be so eager
to ignore a man's final wish. This 17

-year -old boy has nothing to do with a
32 -year -old man who had a wife and a

son and was tragically... Barney
Stacuzzo.

You called and I came, mate. I didn't
know you had the message.

When a bandit calls, a bandit answers.
Come here, bloke.

Oh, and who is this sumptuous flower?

Hi, Carol Bessie.

Right, right.

Didn't we date in high school?

No, no, no, we did not.

So, Barney, what's with the fake English
accent? Yeah. Come again, mate? English

accent? You didn't have that growing up?
Oh, sure I did, yeah.

It just comes and goes, and it gets to
where I don't even notice it anymore.

Did you hear about Larry?

Yeah, it's a total bummer.

So, when do we start rehearsing for the
funeral?

See, finally, a man who makes sense.

Ed, it's a man who speaks with an
English accent sometimes.

No offense.

None taken, love.

So, Barney, what's your deal now,
anyway? Like, what do you do for a

you a musician?

Oh, me? No, no, no. I work at the Banana
Republic out on Route 46.

That's good.

Yeah, I totally lucked out.

Dude, dude, check it out.

Hi. Jennifer Young just talked to me at
the cheese truck. Hi, what'd she say?

Excuse me, but she was very friendly.

Hi, dude, you're in.

Hey, listen.

I really appreciate you bringing me to
this party tonight. I know me being here

makes you less cool and everything.

Come on, what are you, kidding me?

Hey, hey, hey.

I mean, you've been together a long
time. Ain't no Jessica Martel in the

that can break that stuff up.

You all right?

Take a hand off my shoulder?

Oh, yeah, okay.

Hey, Warren.

I've been looking for you all night. Oh,
here I am.

May I help with school? I brought my
buddy Mark Vanacore.

Yeah, no problem.

Oh, hey, Mark.

What school do you go to?

Oh, um...

Mark goes to Stucky Valley School with
us.

Oh, I'm sorry. Such a big class.

Warren. Yeah.

I was beginning to get some air.

You want to go for a walk with me?

Yeah, sure.

Walking's cool.

You know, that was pretty romantic, what
you did today.

Yeah. Oh, well.

I've always believed that romance dances
between what should be and what is, you

know? It's like a delicate tango of
sorts between... Warren.

Why? Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Sometimes I inadvertently slip into my
impress mode.

You don't need to.

I just really wanted to apologize to
you.

It meant a lot to me.

Really?

Yeah.

Are you gonna... Oh, you're... Oh, boy.

Why don't we ask Larry's wife and
parents what we should do?

Because we are not going to burden the
family with this insanity.

We owe it to Larry to do this. We owe it
to Larry. You have no idea what Larry

would have wanted. Larry Parker was a
rebel he absolutely would have wanted.

Larry Parker was a rebel at 17, but you
have no idea if Larry Parker was a rebel

at 32.

I don't need to... Oh, he was definitely
a rebel at 32.

How do you know? I spoke to him. You
spoke to him? You spoke to him. Yeah, he

came into the Republic.

When was this? About two years ago. He
bought cargo pants.

And what was he like?

Very...

Rebellious? There you go. Case closed.

What? You can't tell if someone is
rebellious watching them buy cargo

No, we talked and stuff, but I'm telling
you, it was the same Larry, just like

we remembered him. He still plays the
drums. Really? Yeah, and he plays with a

band every weekend.

No kidding.

Mike, we got to do this. We made a
promise.

Well, maybe it is what he wanted.

Okay. Johnny!

Mike, you are making a huge mistake.

I'm sorry, Yoko, but you don't get a
vote in this. Ladies and gentlemen, the

youth bandits are back in business.

I haven't played my bass in ten years.
Mike's like riding a bike.

I've ruined my bike in ten years.

You see these lips?

How could I miss them? You're a damn
platypus.

Last night, these lips skipped the light
fandango with those of Jessica Martell.

I'm sorry, what?

I kissed Jessica. She kissed me.

Eight times minimum.

I swear to God, I got busy with Jessica.
Hey, guys.

Hey, Jess.

I had fun last night.

All right. The party, yeah. It was cool.

See you later.

This isn't

happening.

That's right, Diane.

It's time to forget everything you
thought you knew.

Black is white.

Down is up.

And Logic's on a ski vacation with his
buddy Reason.

Hey, you guys know what I'm going to do?

Do?

You have Jessica Martel. There's nothing
left to do. Retire to Florida, my

friend.

I'm going to get a tattoo.

A tattoo?

You? Why?

Because last night I achieved Nirvana.

And I want to make sure I remember it
forever.

Welcome to the Terror Dome.

Oh, man.

I feel like I've gone back in time.

This, my friends, is a perfect
recreation of my parents' garage circa

I even copied the grease stain on the
floor. Remember, it kind of looked like

Greenland. Bonnie, you're scaring me.
You have nothing to fear but rock

Now grab that bass, Mikey, and Ed, lay
your blessed hands on that guitar.

You're stealing the yes, huh? Why, uh,
yes.

Okay, so why don't we get started here?
I think I remember how this goes.

Let's see.

Hello?

Carol?

Wow. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Um, Mike, Ed, Barney, uh...

This is Tommy, Joel. We just met over at
the Parker's. He works with Larry at

the magazine subscription clearinghouse.
Yeah, the cubicle next to mine.

Hell of a guy.

So the thing is, I asked Tommy a few
questions about Larry, and his answers

didn't exactly jibe with what Barney had
already told us. What do you mean?

Well, Carol was talking like Larry was
some kind of music freak.

That didn't seem right.

It didn't? No, he didn't.

Play music, didn't talk about music,
nothing.

No, but Larry won a record contract.

No, not Larry. I don't think so.

You know, guys, I forgot to get eggs
this morning.

I'm just going to go buy some eggs. No,
you're not. Listen, Tommy, so he never

mentioned the youth bandits, for
example?

The what? You ever practice the drums or
talk about breaking into the music

business? Nah, I was over at his house
for dinner a few times, didn't see any

drums. Larry was just a regular guy.

We got on really well because we're both
huge Dilbert fans.

Uh, Barney?

Yeah, you know, I might have taken a few
liberties with the truth.

You never ran into him, did you?

Look, I just thought it would be really
cool if we were to play at the funeral.

And I think Larry would have wanted it
that way, too.

You obviously don't know anything at all
about Larry. Okay, let's go.

Hang on a second, Mike. Look, Tommy, you
might not have...

I might not have been into music or
talked to you about the youth fantasy,

Larry's a bit of a wild man, though,
right?

A wild man?

You know, a rebel.

Well, yeah, in a way, I suppose he was.

Tell us. Well, let's see.

We're supposed to answer the phone.

Hello, data processing.

A few times I heard Larry say, yellow,
data processing.

Or just, yellow.

Regular James Dean.

Nothing like the company of a good
woman.

It invigorates the soul, it does.

I better get over to my violin lesson.

All right.

So, uh, just you busy later, or...? What
do you have in mind?

Ah, I thought we'd take him on stage.

We could, uh, swing over to Treach.

What's a stage?

It's a station wagon.

And what's Treach?

Arthur Treach's fishing ships.

Oh.

Okay. Okay, awesome.

Yes. So, uh, I'll pick you up at seven.

Bye, Warren. All right, bye.

My good friend, Romeo Chadwick.

Miss Bessie, what's up?

Don't get a tattoo, Warren.

What?

I'm not... What? Warren, I heard Mark
tell Russell, dude, Warren's getting a

tattoo, so... Oh, yeah, I'm not... I'm
not the only Warren in the world, Miss

Bessie. Warren Beatty, ring a bell?

Ever hear of a little something called
Bulworth?

Warren, it's not a good idea. You may
not be aware of this, but tattoos are

actually quite popular among the younger
set.

How old do you think I am?

I just,

I'm trying to look out for you, Warren.
You can't just wash off a tattoo when

you get sick of it. Well, I'm not going
to get sick of it.

You know that someday you'll be 40 and
you'll feel... Feel awfully silly when

kids go, what's that goofiest thing on
your shoulder? I know all this, Miss

Fessy. Exactly. So why are you doing
this? Look, if I regret my tattoo when

40, all that means is that I'll be wrong
when I'm 40.

Look at me, Miss Fessy. I am young and I
am in love.

You know, my life right now is like an
orange dream waiting to be picked.

I never want to forget this feeling.

Warren. Thank you for the after -school
special, Miss Fessy.

I'll get you later.

All

right,

Stubbs. Put the mop down. Shift your
brain and drive.

What's going on?

There's going to be a test this weekend.
You are going to pay.

Hey, I'm a right -brain guy. I don't
know anything about science. That's

I'm going to tutor you.

Huh? You want a diploma?

I can help you.

Physics, chemistry, biology, we're going
to cover it all. If you're willing to

buckle down, pay attention, and work
with me for a few hours, you can pass

test and you'll be on your way. So, how
about it?

You're either in here or out right now.

I'm in.

Every day, begging for a word of praise.

I put aside my foolish games.

I run and hide and call a name.

School's out, bells will ring.

Now's the time to teach me everything.

Teach you, teach you, teach me love.

I can't learn that enough.

Teach you, teach you, teach me more.

I got to learn to love for sure.

Lesson one just begun.

Growing up ain't much fun.

Growing up out of school.

Out of love and out of roots.

No one there to tell me how.

Different world.

Did you, did you know?

Did you, did you teach me love?

I can't learn it fast enough.

Teach me more.

Mind if I wait in the car?

What's the matter?

I feel like I'm going to get a hepatitis
just standing here.

Don't be such a baby.

Good evening, sir.

Some very challenging body archers
sporting.

Can I help you, gentlemen?

Yes.

Hi.

I'm in the market for a tattoo.

I need something like something very
spiritual, mystical, shamanistic.

Will any of these do it for you?

I don't know.

What about that one?

A pentagram?

No.

No, I need something that says, like,
forever or eternity, you know?

Oh, oh, I got it. I got it. I know what
I want. Which one? No, no, none of

these. I want the mathematical symbol
for infinity.

The what? Infinity.

We learned about it in Mr. Curry's
class, remember?

No. Well, I'll draw it for you.

Fire up the needle, my man.

You okay, son?

Yeah, never better.

You have the touch of an angel.

He's almost done.

You want anything?

You do henna by any chance?

Warren! Oh, my God. What are you doing
to my son? Hey, you want to lower your

volume there, Fred? Drop that needle and
step away from my child.

How did you... Miss Bessie called me.
What is wrong with you? I just... And

Why didn't you stop him?

Mr. Cheswick, I'm a civil libertarian.
You are a moron. All right, let's see

Mr. Tattoo.

Let's see what you got there, Mr. Genius
Tattoo.

The number eight?

No, no, no, you're reading it wrong.
It's an infinity symbol. Let's go.

Come on, let's go. Hey, mister, your son
owes me for that. You think I'm going

to pay for the eight on his back?

Think again, Jethro. Shut up.

Not a word. Not a word.

Hi, Ed.

Hey.

Hey, listen, you'll be happy to hear
that the Youth Bandits reunion tour is

officially canceled.

Thank God. Yes, you're right, Carl
Bessie.

There's no way Larry would have wanted
us to play. It just makes me sad.

That's all.

It shouldn't.

Every 17 -year -old kid wants to grow up
and be a rock star.

Most of them just wise up and grow out
of it.

Could I get a beer?

See you then.

Why is it always wise up?

Explain to me why we're always so
condescending toward our younger selves.

should be looking back in awe of who we
were. All that passion, all that fire,

all those dreams, and then it all fades
and people say, oh, well, you know,

that's just part of growing up. I think
that's tragic.

What did you want to be when you were
17?

Pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds.

Why didn't you do it? It wasn't good
enough. Yeah, and you were smart enough

see that at 17.

So what did you do?

You studied. You got into college.

You worked hard. Got into law school.
You made a career for yourself.

And you made a life for yourself.

So the 17 -year -old you had to
sacrifice a few dreams so the 32 -year

could have a life.

A really good life.

Larry did the same thing.

Only tragedy.

Larry died at 32.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

But?

But I... I can't help but feel like part
of them died at 17.

As they have been saying in classrooms
since time immemorial, take one, toss it

back. You guys will have 45 minutes to
complete the test.

Is everybody ready?

Okay, you can begin.

342. I guess this is it.

Rita Parker?

Thank you.

Hello.

Hi. I'm Ed Stevens. This is Mike Burton.

We're old friends of Larry's.

I'm Rita Parker.

Listen, Rita, we're very, very sorry
about your husband.

If there's anything we can do, anything
at all... Thank you.

So many people have been coming by.

It really helps.

We brought some pictures and stuff from
the old days. Thought you might like to

have them. Oh, yes, it's very kind of
you.

You know, some of Larry's friends are
planning to speak at the funeral.

If you'd like to, you'd be welcome. Your
husband and I kind of fell out of touch

a long time ago, so I'm... I'm not sure
that I'd feel... I understand.

Let me get you guys something to drink.
Thank you.

Is it just me, or is Ron Howard
incapable of making a bad movie?

Warren? Yeah?

Warren? Yeah? I think you're a really
great guy.

Yeah? I feel like I've gotten to know
you over the past couple weeks, and...

You're really special.

Yeah?

I just... I don't want to lead you on.

Wait, wait, wait. Lead me on?

What does that mean?

I think I need some time alone.

All alone?

As in Sam's war in Cheswick?

Yeah.

Boy, I take it this has something to do
with your womanly cycle.

You know, down in the southern... No.

Oh, what then?

Whenever I'm with someone...

My life becomes about that person, and I
just... I haven't been single in years,

and I think I need to get to know myself
right now. But you do know yourself.

No, Warren, I don't.

Sure you do.

It's so obvious to me you know yourself.

No, I really don't. But you do, you know
yourself so well.

Warren, stop!

Okay, okay, so we need to work this
through, and...

How long do you see this taking, this
getting to know yourself thing?

I really can't say.

Like a week or... I don't know.

So, well, then, when it's over, then
you'll go out with me then, right? All

right, cool, cool. I can't promise you
that, Warren.

I mean, who knows where life's all taken
us by then? Come on, throw a dog a

bone. I'm just trying to be honest.

So this is it? This is... I'm sorry.

Will you forgive me?

Yes, under one condition.

What's that?

Let me make love to you.

Ken? Just once, please.

It'll take like 15 minutes.

10 minutes, stop. 10 minutes, I'll be
out of your hair forever.

I just

can't

believe this is Larry Parker's house,
you know? It's Larry Parker's life.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, Mike.

Why don't you take this to some of the
people over on the couch? All right?

You got it? It's too heavy? Looks just
like his dad.

Yeah.

You guys want some clam dip?

Yeah, sure. What's your name?

Ryan. Clam dip? Yeah, thanks.

Drink? Beer? Wine?

No, thanks. Oh, good, thanks.

Yeah.

You all right, buddy?

Yeah, yeah, Mike, I am.

Hey, Warren.

Oh, hey, Miss Fessy.

Can I join you, or are you still hating
me for calling your dad?

I don't hate you.

I mean, you just, like, did what you had
to do. I respect that.

So, that look can only mean one thing.

Woman trouble?

Jessica dumped me.

I mean, it lasted a week.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Thanks.

You know, I'm not big on the I told you
so's warrant, but in this... Oh, please.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I am going to say it this one time,
because I want to make sure you actually

learn something from this experience.

You mean the tattoo?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you're regretting
that right about now.

No, I... I don't really regret it at
all.

You don't?

See, for one brief window in time, the
laws of the whole universe just bent

on themselves and Warren Cheswick was
with Cheswick.

Miss Fessy, deep down I knew that it
wasn't going to last.

But as long as I have this tattoo, I'm
always going to remember that one

night.

Chris, I only have it till this Saturday
because my dad's making me go for

Latham removal.

Sorry.

Hey, Carol.

What are you working on?

I'm trying to figure out what to say at
this funeral tomorrow.

You're going to speak?

Yeah, I am. Oh, I'm surprised.

You seem to feel like Larry has let you
down.

No, I thought he let himself down. I was
wrong.

Seriously wrong.

So was I.

You guys should play that song tomorrow.

We should?

Mm.

You guys have to play that song
tomorrow.

Why?

Because Larry would have wanted you to.

A 17 -year -old Larry, not a 32 -year
-old Larry. A 32 -year -old Larry would

have been wrong.

All right, people. It is time to face
the music.

Mr. Barenbaum, well done.

Miss Stansler, lovely job.

Mr. Stubbs.

F -plus.

What's an F plus? Well, it's a grade
that I invented just for you.

I thought that you deserved to pass, but
I couldn't quite bring myself to

honoring you with a D minus.

So I passed.

You passed.

Woo!

Come on, give it up, people.

Show me the love, not pasta.

I take it you'll be staying with the
class?

You bet your sweet bouzouki I'm staying.

F plus.

F plus.

I guess that's all I have to say,
except, Larry, I'm glad I got to know

And, well, whoever takes your place at
the office has got a really big

cubicle to fill.

My name is Ed Stevens.

Larry was a good friend of mine long,
long ago, far, far away on a planet

high school.

When I knew Larry, he had big dreams,
big dreams of becoming a rock star.

In fact, he wanted it so, so badly. He
had all the rest of us convinced that it

would actually happen.

So when I found out that he left those
dreams behind, I didn't, I was.

I didn't know what to think. What
happened to the Larry I knew? What

the Larry who wanted to be immortal?

But then I met his son, Ryan.

And all of a sudden it made sense.

Larry did become immortal.

Just not in the way I thought he would.

So as we celebrate Larry the father and
Larry the husband and

Larry the solid, dependable guy that he
turned out to be,

Let's also celebrate the Larry I knew.

In fact, let's give him one last chance
to speak to us through a song that he

wrote when he was 17.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the
Youth Bandits.

When you wake up in the morning And find
life next to you in bed

And she doesn't stay for breakfast.

Because she's messing with your head.

When life won't return your phone calls.

And she keeps putting you on hold.

And she returns the gifts you bought
her. All those trinkets made of gold.

And when the grass is the ceiling and
the floor is the sky.

And she's breaking your heart.

When she spits in your face and busts
your soul in two.

Well, you're going to want to leave her.
But here's what you're going to do.

Here's what you're going to do. You just
tell yourself she's a bitch.

But I love her like so bitch.

But I love her crazy bitch.

But I love her so, so good.

She's a bitch.

The likes of today.

We've always admired the great athletes
of the Winter Olympics. Franz Klammer.

Dieter Auschlander. Bonnie Blair.

Waldo Nyquist. Katarina Witt. And the
ice dancer, Corky Pettigrew. Look, are

making this up? I am not. Who's Corky
Pettigrew? The guy I went to summer camp

with. Ed will be back in his regular
time slot Wednesdays after the Olympics.

Jules?

Ed returns to NBC Wednesdays after the
Olympics.

You know Matt Damon as a big -time movie
star. But you've never seen...