All language subtitles for Ed s01e16 live deliberately
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1
00:00:01,670 --> 00:00:03,390
Okay, Mr. Stevens, how are we feeling
today?
2
00:00:04,230 --> 00:00:06,670
Mike, this is awkward enough without you
doing the big doctor voice.
3
00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:09,530
Thank you. There's nothing to worry
about. Just routine physical.
4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,630
This is from a man I've known since I
was five years old. This is from a man I
5
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:14,210
once saw get his head stuck in a
banister.
6
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:17,170
Now, Ed, tell me, has anything been
bothering you lately?
7
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:18,490
No, not really.
8
00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,310
Actually, there was one thing.
9
00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:22,229
Tell Dr.
10
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:25,630
Burton. Well, the other morning I was
getting dressed and I reached down to
11
00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:27,330
up a sock and I heard a noise.
12
00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:29,010
A noise? What kind of noise?
13
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:30,610
A crackle. A crackle?
14
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:36,090
I'd say you got two weeks to live, maybe
three if you cut back on the salt.
15
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:40,610
Yeah, I know it's probably nothing, but
I've never heard a noise like that come
16
00:00:40,610 --> 00:00:42,110
off my body before. It's kind of
depressing.
17
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:44,630
You're just getting older, Ed. It's
nothing to worry about. Now hop off the
18
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,870
table. When is getting older nothing to
worry about?
19
00:00:47,410 --> 00:00:48,410
Turn your head and cough.
20
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:49,809
Excuse me?
21
00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:50,810
Turn your head and cough.
22
00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:52,110
I don't think so.
23
00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:54,090
Yeah, okay.
24
00:01:13,399 --> 00:01:14,800
Watching.
25
00:01:45,930 --> 00:01:46,930
Bosco, can we rap?
26
00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:48,230
Sure, Phil. Let's rap.
27
00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:49,410
I need a taste.
28
00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:51,710
What's that mean? You know, action.
29
00:01:51,950 --> 00:01:56,670
Juice. You say something, then I say
something, and yet I never move any
30
00:01:56,670 --> 00:01:59,370
to any understanding of what the heck it
is you're talking about. Big Rudy was
31
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:02,910
right, okay? I should not be working on
a fixed salary anymore, man. I need a
32
00:02:02,910 --> 00:02:04,510
percentage. Percentage of what?
33
00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:08,990
The lanes, the law practice, shoe
rental, concessions, everything, man.
34
00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:09,989
whole condito.
35
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:14,310
Well, it's just not possible. And also,
I'm guessing condito isn't a word in any
36
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,310
actual language, is it?
37
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,250
All right, you know what?
38
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:21,830
You leave me no alternative. I hereby
resign my position as a manager of
39
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:22,830
Bowl. What?
40
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:25,870
Goodbye, Ed Stevens.
41
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:27,710
We part as friends.
42
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:30,870
So you're not quitting.
43
00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:35,510
Hi, are you Ed Stevens?
44
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:42,330
Yeah. William Johnson. I'm a chemical
engineer at a small industrial ceramics
45
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,950
company in Murfreesboro. Do you like
bacon?
46
00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,430
I love it. Why?
47
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,230
Is there a place we could speak that's
more private?
48
00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:50,330
Step into my office, please. Sorry.
49
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:58,570
No, Mark, you can't do your winter
report on Johnny Tremaine. Why not?
50
00:02:58,950 --> 00:03:00,470
Because it was written for ten -year
-olds.
51
00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:03,150
No, it wasn't. It won the Newbery Award.
52
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:06,260
which is, in fact, an award for
children's literature.
53
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,260
All right, everybody, winter projects
start tomorrow. I've divided you all
54
00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:14,240
groups of four, and each group will be
assigned a truly great work of American
55
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:18,540
fiction, other than Johnny Tremaine. So
check the board on your way out, and
56
00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:19,540
have a good day.
57
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,100
Miss Bessie.
58
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,360
Yes, Warren.
59
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,620
Thank you.
60
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,840
Thank you for putting me with Jessica
Martel.
61
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:47,100
What God am I pleased to deserve such a
favor?
62
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,460
Thank you, Miss Bessie.
63
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:50,960
Are you with Jessica?
64
00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:54,080
I wasn't aware of that. I just sort of
assigned those groups at random.
65
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:58,860
This is no accident of fate, Miss
Bessie. You put me with Jessica because
66
00:03:58,860 --> 00:03:59,860
an awesome lady.
67
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,960
Yes, you are. You know, if you think
about it...
68
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,270
Unless your lady would resent me for
turning my affections to someone younger
69
00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:07,109
and pretty.
70
00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:08,170
Okay, Warren.
71
00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:09,390
That's enough.
72
00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:10,930
Sorry.
73
00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:22,510
These are a sampling of all the
commercial brands of bacon available
74
00:04:22,550 --> 00:04:23,550
Please, try one.
75
00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:25,730
Okay.
76
00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:31,430
It's fine. Try another.
77
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:36,939
Tastes like bacon.
78
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:37,940
Right.
79
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,780
Now, if you would, try this.
80
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,080
Oh, my God.
81
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:56,720
This is the most fantastic piece of
bacon I've ever tasted in my life. I
82
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,620
invented it. This is fantastic bacon.
83
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,380
I was hoping you could help me get a
patent.
84
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,340
What'd you do, invent a new pig?
85
00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:07,340
It's a combination cyclotron and
microwave device that's able to vibrate
86
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,840
agitate a molecule inside of a slice of
bacon, thus causing the surrounding
87
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:15,960
molecules to become agitated as well.
Although I can't yet explain why, the
88
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,060
result of all this agitation is an
increased bacony flavor.
89
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,140
How much does this whole process cost?
90
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,920
At present, $2 ,300 a slice.
91
00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:26,860
Wow. That's some pricey breakfast meat.
92
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,200
Uh, yes, but later today, I'm conducting
a new test that I believe might lead
93
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,520
the way to a more commercially viable
device.
94
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,700
All right, stop with the bowling and the
lawyering. We've come to take you to
95
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:38,700
lunch.
96
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,980
William Johnson, meet Molly Hudson and
Carol Bessie.
97
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,000
Hi. Hello. I'm Carol.
98
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:46,820
Um, if we're interrupting anything, we
could just meet you over at the pie
99
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,020
No, it's okay. Look, Mr. Johnson, the
first thing I have to do is run a search
100
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:52,320
to see if anything similar has been
patented, but I'll call you with the
101
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:56,240
results. Okay, thank you. You're
welcome. Very much. Uh, perhaps before
102
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:57,660
and... Like to try some bacon?
103
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,260
Yes, of course.
104
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:06,960
Holy crap.
105
00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:12,540
Hey, you know what, Eddie?
106
00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:14,840
That new client of yours? He's kind of
cute.
107
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:16,920
Really? I thought he was kind of dull.
108
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,080
No. No, he's cute in a sort of absent
-minded professor way.
109
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,600
Absent -minded professor, man. I love
that.
110
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:25,060
Did that help with the flubber?
111
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:29,540
Oh, look who it is. Molly's favorite
calculus teacher, Jeff Alexander.
112
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,039
You!
113
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,800
What are you doing? I'm just waiting.
Stop.
114
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,200
Just let him get his coffee and leave.
115
00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:39,200
This is ridiculous. You like him, right?
Right. Well, then go over there and
116
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:39,979
talk to him.
117
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:42,880
Better yet, ask him out. No. Ask him
out. No.
118
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,260
No, I stopped asking guys out a long
time ago. Why?
119
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,080
Oh, one simple reason.
120
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,399
They say no.
121
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:50,339
Oh, Molly.
122
00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:51,340
Molly, it's ridiculous.
123
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,139
Hear that?
124
00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,039
Hear what?
125
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,040
Crackle.
126
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:56,280
I crackled. Listen.
127
00:06:57,820 --> 00:07:01,140
I crackled. I never used to crackle. All
of a sudden, I crackled.
128
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,900
I crackled. I can't get an old.
129
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,480
Jessica Martel, prepare to be impressed.
130
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,460
111, a massive man leads lives of quiet
desperation.
131
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,500
That'll do.
132
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:37,860
I got a delivery for Mr. Stanley Glick.
I'm sorry, there's no one here. I'm
133
00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:39,460
Stanley Glick. Where do I find? Right
here.
134
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,560
Thank you, good sir.
135
00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:47,260
Stanley Glick?
136
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,720
Yes, I use that name on my mail orders,
keeping up all the junk mail and
137
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,720
telemarketing lists.
138
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,800
So that's why people keep calling and
asking for Stanley Glick. Yeah, see, it
139
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:55,800
works like a charm.
140
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,320
What did you get?
141
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,380
Is it one of those Girls Gone Wild
videos?
142
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,380
I went wild once on a trip to Scranton,
Pennsylvania, but no one was there to
143
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:04,380
capture it on videotape.
144
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,380
Shirley, I hold in my hand the holy
grail of business success.
145
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:12,140
Here on these tapes is everything you
need to know about how to make friends,
146
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,260
influence people, and in my case, get a
nice fat raise.
147
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,300
Bill, I thought you quit.
148
00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:21,180
I don't recall anything of the sort.
149
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,520
Surely.
150
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,740
Hello, I'd like the number to the U .S.
Patent Office, please.
151
00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:30,880
Oh, excuse me, I have another call.
152
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:33,760
Hello? Hey, Ed, it's Mike.
153
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:35,260
Hey, Mike, what's up?
154
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,299
Oh, hey, you know that guy you were
talking about at lunch, Willie Johnson?
155
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,460
Yeah. Well, he's in the hospital. They
just called Dr. Jerome for his records.
156
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:41,899
Why? What happened?
157
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:42,879
Well, he's unconscious.
158
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,220
There was some kind of accident at the
lab.
159
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,240
Okay, look, I'm on my way over.
160
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,400
How you doing there, Mr. Johnson? Can
you hear me?
161
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,700
Mr. Johnson? There you go. That's it,
Mr. Johnson.
162
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:00,800
Ah.
163
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:02,100
Where am I?
164
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,500
You're in the hospital.
165
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,579
What happened?
166
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:08,140
Well, a custodian found you in the floor
of your lab. There seems to have been
167
00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,140
some kind of explosion.
168
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,040
Explosion?
169
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,460
Hey. Hey, Mike.
170
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,380
Hey, Mr. Johnson.
171
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,720
You okay?
172
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:19,660
I don't know. I might... You've got some
minor cuts and bruises, and we'll need
173
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,240
to take some more tests, but as far as
we can see, you're just fine.
174
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:23,900
I remember it.
175
00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:28,510
You're in a big bang. That's the last
thing I remember.
176
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:33,390
Yeah, well, you're a very lucky man, Mr.
Johnson. According to paramedics, when
177
00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:36,610
your machine exploded, it managed to
lodge several big pieces of metal in the
178
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,610
wall just above your head.
179
00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:39,530
They've been a few inches lower.
180
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,590
I thought I would have been killed.
181
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:01,020
Well, I guess the first thing we should
do is read it.
182
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,680
Mark, are you telling me you've never
read Walden?
183
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,900
No. Me neither.
184
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,920
What? Have you?
185
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,280
I've done more than read it.
186
00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:15,980
I've devoured it, as one devours a rare
steak.
187
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:22,040
I've sunk my teeth into it and let the
blood drip down my chin.
188
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:27,380
The mass of men lead lives of quiet
desperation, what is called resignation.
189
00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:29,870
is confirmed desperation.
190
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:31,790
Oh, my God.
191
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:35,630
You'll find that on page 111, if I'm not
mistaken.
192
00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:41,090
Wow, it's right here.
193
00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:45,530
Yeah. You must, like, have some kind of
photographic memory or something.
194
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:49,530
No, no, no, Donna. You don't memorize
great literature with your head.
195
00:10:49,790 --> 00:10:53,150
You simply give it a good home in your
heart.
196
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,740
Glad to see you.
197
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:01,420
Excuse me, Ed.
198
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:02,439
Yeah, Phil.
199
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,720
Ed, I just wanted to let you know, Ed,
that Lane 10 is in need of repairs.
200
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:11,660
You see, Ed, some of the customers have
brought it to my attention that the lane
201
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,560
maybe isn't as waxed as it ought to be.
Phil?
202
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:14,919
Yes, Ed?
203
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:15,920
What you doing?
204
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:20,540
Nothing, Ed. I just think it's
important, Ed, to let the person with
205
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:23,080
are speaking know that you're really
listening to him.
206
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:25,320
Ed?
207
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,820
This is a whole new brand of weirdness.
208
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,760
Excuse me.
209
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,160
Stuckyball, this is Ed Steven.
210
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,520
What?
211
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,500
All right, you know what? Hang on, I'll
be right down.
212
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,120
Phil, call Mike Burton. Tell him to meet
me at the corner of Main and Walnut.
213
00:11:40,140 --> 00:11:40,999
Tell him it's an emergency.
214
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,620
Ed? Yeah? You got it, Ed.
215
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:06,759
Mr. Johnson.
216
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,480
Okay. Hey, Eddie, how you doing? You
know this guy?
217
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:12,680
Yeah, I'm his lawyer. Well, he's going
to need one. I found him scaling the
218
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,560
building. Why are you scaling the
building?
219
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:16,180
Because I've never done it before.
220
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:20,480
Mr. Johnson, are you okay? Are you
feeling all right? I feel great. I've
221
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,319
felt better.
222
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,260
Yeah, I made a decision. I'm done
wasting my life. I'm living.
223
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,200
How'd you get up there?
224
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,360
Oh, I just jumped up and grabbed the
flagpole and pulled myself up.
225
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:33,580
You grabbed that flagpole? Yeah, that
one there. That flagpole there?
226
00:12:34,030 --> 00:12:35,410
That's the one. Hey, Mr. Johnson.
227
00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,310
How'd you get out of the hospital?
228
00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:41,470
Oh, uh, I walked out. All right. You're
under arrest for disturbing the peace
229
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:44,630
and reckless endangerment. I'm under
arrest. Let's go. Hey, listen, I'll meet
230
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,950
you downtown. Don't worry about this.
I'll take care of it. No, I'm not
231
00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:49,630
It never felt better. For a couple
minutes there, I was the human fly.
232
00:12:51,410 --> 00:12:52,910
How you doing? I'm getting arrested.
233
00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:54,310
Mike, is he okay?
234
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:56,130
He seems like a totally different guy.
235
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:57,910
Yeah, I know. Physically, he's fine.
236
00:12:58,350 --> 00:13:01,110
I think he suffered from some kind of
post -traumatic stress disorder.
237
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:02,510
Really?
238
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,110
It's pretty common among people who've
had near -death experiences.
239
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,850
We should get him to a psychiatrist.
240
00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:08,610
Yeah.
241
00:13:11,070 --> 00:13:12,070
What?
242
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:13,950
What are you looking at?
243
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:18,590
Hey,
244
00:13:19,410 --> 00:13:20,410
what are you doing?
245
00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:23,750
He's mid -40s. I'm 32.
246
00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:26,050
How come he can grab the flagpole and I
can't?
247
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,000
You're one embarrassing human being.
248
00:14:06,890 --> 00:14:08,650
Could you guys read any of this last
night?
249
00:14:08,870 --> 00:14:09,870
I read a little.
250
00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,550
It was kind of interesting.
251
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,850
I thought it was incredible.
252
00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:16,370
I am so not into this.
253
00:14:16,570 --> 00:14:20,670
I mean, all this Thoreau guy does is,
like, talk about stuff.
254
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:24,010
I mean, at least Johnny Tremaine messed
up his hand.
255
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:28,090
Yeah, but I gotta say, I actually read
the first three chapters last night. I
256
00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:32,890
mean, I reread the first three chapters
last night, and whoa.
257
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,090
Whoa?
258
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:38,910
I mean, this guy just picked up and
moved into the woods.
259
00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:42,130
Just one day, I'm going to the woods.
260
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,630
And he spent, like, two years in there
or something.
261
00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:50,490
Well, that's great, Cheswick, but I need
at least a C - on this project to pass
262
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,910
English, so... Right, but forget about
grades for a second. I mean, this book
263
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:57,010
is, like, giving you the answer to life
and stuff.
264
00:14:57,810 --> 00:15:00,810
He's telling us that the key is to
simplify life.
265
00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:02,410
You know?
266
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,280
Don't go work in some crummy job so you
can buy stuff.
267
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,620
You just have to keep working more and
more so you can buy more stuff. Just
268
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:09,620
up the stuff.
269
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:10,640
No more stuff.
270
00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:14,920
You just have to appreciate the simple
things, like nature.
271
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:20,520
I love what he writes in the
inscription. He says, I do not propose
272
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:26,940
ode to dejection, but to brag as lustily
as Chanticleer in the morning, standing
273
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:30,920
on his roost, if only to wake the
neighbors up.
274
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,270
Exactly. That's it.
275
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:37,670
He's got the answer, and he's trying to
tell everybody, get out of the rat race.
276
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:39,570
Simplify.
277
00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:41,630
This is just a big wake -up call.
278
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,070
And whatever.
279
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:52,590
I only read the first three chapters, so
the rest might suck.
280
00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:57,670
Your Honor.
281
00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:02,470
Mr. Johnson here is a law -abiding
citizen. In all his 47 years as a
282
00:16:02,470 --> 00:16:05,390
Stockieville, he has never once gotten
in any kind of trouble. Your Honor, if I
283
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:11,850
might. The United States of America is a
country forged in the fires of
284
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:12,850
revolution.
285
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:18,530
Our very founding fathers gave their
lives for the freedom that we enjoy
286
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:22,030
But freedom comes with responsibility.
287
00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:27,170
On top of the shoulders of
responsibility sits...
288
00:16:27,630 --> 00:16:29,330
The dour face of justice.
289
00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:31,210
Mr. Johnson.
290
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,650
Yes, Your Honor, justice is blind.
291
00:16:34,150 --> 00:16:39,350
But I beseech you, do not confuse her
blindness for indiscretion. Hey, Mr.
292
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:40,450
Johnson.
293
00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:41,530
Excuse me a moment.
294
00:16:44,810 --> 00:16:45,810
What are you doing?
295
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:48,910
Well, I've never been in trial before. I
just want to make the most of it.
296
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:53,390
Your Honor, Mr. Johnson has recently had
a near -death experience. He's not been
297
00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:54,289
thinking clearly.
298
00:16:54,290 --> 00:16:55,290
So I see.
299
00:16:56,229 --> 00:16:57,650
All right, I'll dismiss the charges.
300
00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:00,950
But, Mr. Johnson, I don't want to see
you here again.
301
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:02,570
Thank you, Your Honor.
302
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:03,710
Well, so much for that.
303
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,050
Well done, Ed.
304
00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:08,829
Mr. Johnson, I would like you to go see
Dr. Louise Meyer. She's a psychiatrist.
305
00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:09,990
I think she could help you.
306
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:11,770
Me? You're the one that needs a
psychiatrist.
307
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:15,150
How's that? Oh, yes, you. All of you.
The judge, the bailiff, that lady, that
308
00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:16,150
guy over there, everybody outside.
309
00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:19,650
You're all wasting your lives doing
nothing while I'm living.
310
00:17:20,589 --> 00:17:23,829
That may be, but I'm worried about...
No, no, no, Ed, don't worry. I want you
311
00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:24,549
enjoy yourself.
312
00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:25,550
I want you to have some fun.
313
00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:28,710
Yeah, why don't you let me buy you a
drink at the Smiling Goat place? You
314
00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:30,010
that's really not necessary. I insist.
315
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:32,910
And, uh, Ed, bring the girls.
316
00:17:34,770 --> 00:17:37,410
Olé, olé, olé! Here we go, everybody!
317
00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:41,770
Palo Senor Willie!
318
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:43,950
Woo -hoo!
319
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,910
Boy, oh boy, do I hate dancing.
320
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,850
Why sit when you can stunga?
321
00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:51,490
Look at this guy.
322
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,970
He's got a whole new philosophy for his
life, but what's the point?
323
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,060
Come on now, bounce like you mean it.
324
00:17:56,980 --> 00:17:59,940
And he's ruining the elaborate illusion
I've created for Nancy on the most
325
00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:01,400
exciting human being on the planet.
326
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,120
It doesn't matter how many billions you
scale.
327
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,980
How many times you conquer doesn't
change one essential fact. Life is
328
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,820
One depressing date.
329
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,100
Yeah.
330
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,760
Ed, you crackled. You couldn't reach
your flagpole. Big deal.
331
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,040
Yeah, big deal.
332
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,240
You know, you don't have to take it
lying down. There's things you can do.
333
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,400
I, for one, am a firm believer in the
use it or lose it philosophy.
334
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:19,980
Use it or lose it.
335
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,860
Yeah, you're going to age. That's a good
one. But the more active you are, the
336
00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:23,860
more you can delay it.
337
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:26,810
And let's face it, your lifestyle's
changed. You're not as active as you
338
00:18:26,810 --> 00:18:27,549
when you were 18.
339
00:18:27,550 --> 00:18:28,550
I guess I'm not.
340
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,030
Come on, honey, let's dance.
341
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,310
Okay, honey.
342
00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:38,150
Where did you find him? He is great.
343
00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:40,470
Not great. He's suffering from post
-traumatic stress disorder.
344
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:42,130
Oh, somebody's jealous.
345
00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:43,009
I'm not jealous.
346
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:46,150
Listen, why just sit there when you can
rumba?
347
00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:48,050
Oh, yeah. Come on, old man.
348
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:49,370
Come on, old man.
349
00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:55,940
I am a strong and powerful man.
350
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,200
I am a king surveying his kingdom.
351
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:04,360
I am a victorious general sucking on the
spoils of war.
352
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,260
Shoot me what's going on here.
353
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:09,760
I am the sun and the moon and the
planets.
354
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,940
Still got some self -imprisonment tapes.
He thinks they'll help him get away.
355
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,359
It's all right.
356
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:18,760
Because I am going to succeed like a
champ!
357
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:22,300
Can I get a pair of nine and a halves?
358
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:23,700
Yeah, sure.
359
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:25,650
Okay, then.
360
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,810
All right, I'm here. What is it?
361
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:36,790
What's that? That's my journal.
362
00:19:37,030 --> 00:19:39,250
You brought me down here to look at your
diary? My journal.
363
00:19:39,650 --> 00:19:42,130
Ed Lewis and Clark had a journal. You,
my friend, have a diary.
364
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:45,490
Mike, see, I've been overthinking this
whole thing, you know? It is way too
365
00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:46,530
early to think about getting old.
366
00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:49,710
Well, good. That's what I've been trying
to tell you. Yeah, because I'm going
367
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,510
through my journal, right, from when I'm
18. I found this same week, but back
368
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:53,510
then. You know what?
369
00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:55,010
I can still do all this stuff.
370
00:19:55,330 --> 00:19:58,330
Oh, no, you can't. That's not the point
I was trying to make. Yes, I can. And
371
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:01,150
furthermore, I'm going to prove it. All
this stuff that I did that week when I
372
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:04,270
was 18, I'm going to do this week. Use
it or lose it, right?
373
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:08,030
You know, now that I'm your doctor, it's
my obligation to tell you that,
374
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:11,310
medically speaking, you have a brain the
size of a marble.
375
00:20:11,550 --> 00:20:12,790
Oh, yeah, and it's going to be great.
376
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,390
Like, all of a sudden, just like that,
I'm 18 again.
377
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,139
Was that hello?
378
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:33,140
I just thought I'd spice it up a little
bit. I mean, why just say hello when you
379
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:34,140
can say hello?
380
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,760
Miles, you been hitting the rum cake
again?
381
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,960
I have got some good news. What's that?
382
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:41,260
Guess who asked me out to dinner
tonight?
383
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,860
Oh, Jeff Alexander. I knew it. No,
Willie Johnson.
384
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:51,620
Really? Yeah, he called me up last night
and asked me out to dinner just like
385
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:55,940
that. So just the two of you? Yeah, just
me and him as in a date.
386
00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:57,980
I have a date with Willie Johnson.
387
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:01,550
That's great. It's great, Miles. Really,
that's fantastic.
388
00:21:01,870 --> 00:21:03,930
Wow. I mean, what a guy, right?
389
00:21:04,450 --> 00:21:08,470
Yeah, yeah, he's smart, funny, a great
dancer. Oh, that he can.
390
00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:11,350
Hey, Miss Bessie. Hi, Warren. I've been
looking all over for you.
391
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:12,670
I've got to show you something.
392
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:13,709
What's that?
393
00:21:13,710 --> 00:21:14,710
Uh,
394
00:21:14,830 --> 00:21:15,830
okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
395
00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:20,510
Okay, listen to this. I went to the
woods because I wished to live
396
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:24,270
to front only the essential facts of
life, and see if I could not learn what
397
00:21:24,270 --> 00:21:27,410
had to teach, and not, when I came to
die, discover that I had not lived.
398
00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:31,730
Got cool and white.
399
00:21:31,970 --> 00:21:34,370
Yeah, Henry David Thoreau was definitely
cool.
400
00:21:34,870 --> 00:21:39,750
I'd say he was bitchin'. Yeah, he tells
you how to make genuine hoe cakes from
401
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:40,750
Indian meal and salt.
402
00:21:41,490 --> 00:21:42,530
Goodbye, Warren.
403
00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:43,750
Okay, I'm gonna go.
404
00:21:48,210 --> 00:21:51,430
Why on earth is it so important to you
to eat two pies?
405
00:21:51,870 --> 00:21:55,750
Ed found his journal from when he was
18. He's trying to prove that he can
406
00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:58,670
do all the things now that he did back
in that same week in 1987.
407
00:21:59,270 --> 00:22:00,310
Oh, so on this?
408
00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:03,850
Glorious day he ate two pies. That's
right, my friend. On this day, I became
409
00:22:03,850 --> 00:22:04,850
member of the two -pie club.
410
00:22:06,090 --> 00:22:07,090
Where am I?
411
00:22:08,050 --> 00:22:09,050
Let's see.
412
00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:12,690
Let's see. Where am I? Let's see.
413
00:22:14,310 --> 00:22:15,310
Let's see.
414
00:22:15,850 --> 00:22:17,210
Where am I? You're right there, Ed.
415
00:22:17,530 --> 00:22:18,830
There I am. You know you're right there?
416
00:22:19,170 --> 00:22:21,490
That's me there. Now let's find you,
Mike. Let's see.
417
00:22:21,910 --> 00:22:24,170
You both know I'm not up there, Ed. Why
is that, Mike?
418
00:22:24,530 --> 00:22:26,830
I need two pies. I'm sorry. I can't hear
you.
419
00:22:27,650 --> 00:22:29,150
Couldn't eat two pies. Couldn't eat.
420
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:30,900
Two pies.
421
00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:33,560
That guy could eat two pies.
422
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,320
Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, you know what
it's all about, don't you? Sunrises.
423
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:46,400
Sunrises. Oh, yes. Every time the big
yellow ball comes up and the planetary
424
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,660
light switches on, it's an opportunity.
425
00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:50,700
An opportunity to do what?
426
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:51,960
To do what?
427
00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:55,580
Everything. To do everything. It's all
out there.
428
00:22:55,870 --> 00:22:59,670
Wow, you're making me feel guilty for
hitting my snooze button over and over
429
00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:00,569
every morning.
430
00:23:00,570 --> 00:23:01,590
Are you ready to order?
431
00:23:01,850 --> 00:23:04,430
Oh, sure. Hey, you know what? Let's hear
some specials. Do you have any
432
00:23:04,430 --> 00:23:08,550
specials? Yes, we have several main
course specials this evening. We have a
433
00:23:08,550 --> 00:23:12,030
-fried catfish in garlic butter, a
homemade risotto bolognese with capers
434
00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:16,370
olives, 18 -ounce prime rib of beef,
which is served with new potatoes and a
435
00:23:16,370 --> 00:23:20,550
medley of grilled vegetables. We also
have fresh Alaskan king crab and an
436
00:23:20,550 --> 00:23:22,470
hair pasta with rock shrimp in a pesto
sauce.
437
00:23:23,550 --> 00:23:24,550
Great.
438
00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:28,740
I'm sorry, which did you like?
439
00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:29,940
Bring them all.
440
00:23:30,420 --> 00:23:32,120
Why try one thing when you can have
everything?
441
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,480
See, are you up for that?
442
00:23:34,140 --> 00:23:35,140
Sure, bring it all.
443
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:36,380
All right.
444
00:23:37,780 --> 00:23:38,699
Here you go.
445
00:23:38,700 --> 00:23:39,820
You don't want to go home?
446
00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:42,180
Stay over at our place. I'm all right.
447
00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:43,700
Oh, my God.
448
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,080
Hello?
449
00:23:48,740 --> 00:23:50,440
Phil, what's with the getup?
450
00:23:50,660 --> 00:23:51,660
It's called role modeling.
451
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,780
There's no faster way to get to the top
than by dressing like the boss.
452
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,600
I haven't got his ridiculous haircut.
453
00:24:03,660 --> 00:24:04,660
Okay.
454
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,240
I give up.
455
00:24:07,020 --> 00:24:10,080
Uncle, okay? You can have 5 % of the
shoe return.
456
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,780
You're tickling my chain.
457
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,600
I'm not tickling anything. Just tell me
you'll go back to being normal, or
458
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:16,720
whatever it was you were before.
459
00:24:17,460 --> 00:24:21,560
Oh, Ed, it is such a rarity that in this
doggy -dog world of ours, there is
460
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,200
actually a man who is willing to share
the wealth.
461
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,100
It's, um, dog eat dog world, actually.
462
00:24:29,380 --> 00:24:30,380
Not doggy dog.
463
00:24:30,780 --> 00:24:33,300
No, it's doggy dog world. You know, like
we're all dogs.
464
00:24:40,860 --> 00:24:43,300
I had a really great time tonight.
465
00:24:43,540 --> 00:24:44,540
Yeah, me too.
466
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:47,320
Hey, Molly.
467
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,080
I know everyone thinks I've gone crazy,
but I haven't.
468
00:24:51,660 --> 00:24:55,320
I mean, everybody out there wants to sip
at life. I want to gulp it and guzzle
469
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,320
it.
470
00:24:57,260 --> 00:24:58,340
I got a wake -up call.
471
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,820
What would be crazy is to not answer it,
you know?
472
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:04,600
I don't think you're crazy.
473
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:14,820
Can I have your question?
474
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:16,240
Sure.
475
00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:17,780
Why me?
476
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,160
Why not Carol?
477
00:25:20,590 --> 00:25:21,590
Because you're more fearless.
478
00:25:26,370 --> 00:25:27,370
Good night.
479
00:25:27,450 --> 00:25:28,450
Good night.
480
00:25:43,410 --> 00:25:44,410
Ed.
481
00:25:46,810 --> 00:25:47,810
What?
482
00:25:48,030 --> 00:25:49,030
What's the matter with you?
483
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:50,680
Too much pie?
484
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,040
No way to live?
485
00:26:00,540 --> 00:26:01,540
Simplify, simplify.
486
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,920
Instead of three meals a day, if it be
necessary, eat but one.
487
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,780
Instead of a hundred dishes, five.
488
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,940
And reduce other things in proportion.
489
00:26:13,580 --> 00:26:16,600
Walden. And there comes a time in every
man's life where he's got to make some
490
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:17,600
decisions.
491
00:26:17,780 --> 00:26:18,780
Decisions about what?
492
00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:22,380
Decisions about how he's going to live
his life, about how he's going to
493
00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:23,380
his affairs.
494
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,460
I'm going to live my life by not eating
any more pie.
495
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,040
I'm thinking of spending some time in
the woods.
496
00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:29,519
Like Thoreau?
497
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:30,520
Yeah, that's right.
498
00:26:31,060 --> 00:26:33,540
He went into the woods to live
deliberately. I want to start living
499
00:26:33,540 --> 00:26:34,920
deliberately. Okay.
500
00:26:35,940 --> 00:26:37,040
How do you propose to do that?
501
00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:40,780
I'm going to go to the top of Mount
Precipice and spend a weekend in the
502
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,240
See what it's like to simplify my life.
503
00:26:43,620 --> 00:26:45,440
Oh, Mount Precipice, huh?
504
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:47,580
I forgot about that.
505
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,820
Precipice. You know, when I was in high
school, I used to get up before dawn and
506
00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:54,740
run to the top of Mount Precipice with a
full backpack on my back.
507
00:26:55,040 --> 00:27:00,740
I used to be able to do it in one hour,
eight minutes, 42 seconds. That's not a
508
00:27:00,740 --> 00:27:01,740
bad time, huh?
509
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:03,420
Time.
510
00:27:04,820 --> 00:27:07,180
Time is but the stream I go a -fishing
in.
511
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,400
I'd run up there, you know, I'd sit back
on Conrad Rock, look out, watch the
512
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,520
sunrise, and do exactly what you're
doing now, trying to make decisions on
513
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,660
to live my life.
514
00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:19,030
Now I wonder why I bother.
515
00:27:20,550 --> 00:27:22,430
Okay, you're bringing me down.
516
00:27:23,470 --> 00:27:24,870
Sorry, Warren. What can I do for you?
517
00:27:25,250 --> 00:27:29,190
Well, Mount Precipice is a public park,
right? And I closed it after sundown, so
518
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:32,510
I was just wondering if you knew if I
could get into any, like, legal trouble,
519
00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:35,250
if I stay there overnight, or would they
be cool?
520
00:27:35,650 --> 00:27:38,130
Well, Warren, as your lawyer, I can't
encourage you to break the law, but
521
00:27:38,130 --> 00:27:40,530
between you and me, if you get caught,
you only get a slap on the wrist.
522
00:27:41,830 --> 00:27:42,930
Ed. Shirley.
523
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,550
There is a gentleman bowling naked on
Line 6.
524
00:27:47,340 --> 00:27:48,380
I don't see that every day.
525
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,680
Eddie! Have a ball naked?
526
00:27:57,540 --> 00:27:58,540
Can't say I have.
527
00:27:58,560 --> 00:27:59,680
Oh, why in the world not?
528
00:28:05,380 --> 00:28:11,000
All right!
529
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,320
Please, call me Willie.
530
00:28:17,090 --> 00:28:21,630
Okay. Willie, let me cut through the
legalese as best I can here. You can't
531
00:28:21,630 --> 00:28:23,250
naked. Why not?
532
00:28:24,810 --> 00:28:27,270
I brought you something.
533
00:28:28,150 --> 00:28:29,910
Wrote it in three days.
534
00:28:30,270 --> 00:28:32,250
Printed it up on the computer there and
made the cover myself.
535
00:28:34,190 --> 00:28:35,190
Do everything.
536
00:28:35,850 --> 00:28:37,250
Willie Johnson's Guide to Life.
537
00:28:37,510 --> 00:28:39,170
Well, I figured it was time to spread
the word.
538
00:28:39,410 --> 00:28:43,670
This book embodies my basic two -word
philosophy on life. Do everything.
539
00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:47,290
Mr. Johnson, Willie, do you understand
that if you get arrested again for
540
00:28:47,290 --> 00:28:49,290
disturbing the peace, you could very
well end up going to jail?
541
00:28:49,750 --> 00:28:50,750
Disturbing the peace?
542
00:28:50,910 --> 00:28:53,310
What's wrong with disturbing the peace?
The peace needs to be disturbed.
543
00:28:53,590 --> 00:28:57,250
Well, we all get one dance and then
we're asked to leave the party. Why
544
00:28:57,250 --> 00:29:01,270
the ultimate goal be to not make waves?
I want to make waves, Ed. I want to make
545
00:29:01,270 --> 00:29:04,070
big, giant, sloppy splashes.
546
00:29:04,370 --> 00:29:09,550
I want to stand up and tell the world
that while he was here, Willie Johnson
547
00:29:09,550 --> 00:29:10,550
everything.
548
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:24,920
I read some more water last night.
549
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,460
It really is pretty cool.
550
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,780
It's great to hear you say that because
I got something I want to tell you.
551
00:29:30,260 --> 00:29:31,260
What?
552
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,360
I'm going to take to the woods and I
want you to come with me.
553
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:36,499
What do you mean?
554
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:37,580
I mean a life of simplicity.
555
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,400
We must take to the woods, Jessica, and
live deliberately.
556
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,620
Okay. But like when you keep saying take
to the woods, what do you mean exactly?
557
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,200
Check it out.
558
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,300
Let's go to the top of Mount Precipice,
spend the weekend there.
559
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,660
And just you and me, just away from the
industrial world with all its machines
560
00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:55,660
and madness.
561
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,260
And we'll live simply in nature.
562
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,220
I urge you, Jessica, we've got to do
this. Let's take to the woods.
563
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,140
Gee, Warren, that sounds pretty cool,
but I don't think my parents would go
564
00:30:05,140 --> 00:30:06,140
that.
565
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,820
Well, why don't you tell them that it's
her report on Walden?
566
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,560
Okay, well, let me think about it.
567
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:12,760
Okay.
568
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:18,260
Okay. Do you really think that Jessica
Martel is what Henry David had in mind
569
00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:19,700
when he said simplify?
570
00:30:31,379 --> 00:30:32,780
Ed?
571
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,040
Ed?
572
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,680
Ed?
573
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:51,540
Are you okay? What happened?
574
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:53,760
Hey. Hi.
575
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,240
Yeah.
576
00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:59,380
Yeah, I kind of passed out, I guess.
Okay, oh, my God. Let's call Mike. We'll
577
00:30:59,380 --> 00:31:01,040
just call him right now. All right, I'm
okay. I'm okay.
578
00:31:02,300 --> 00:31:03,199
I'm fine.
579
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,200
What are you doing?
580
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:06,240
I was trying to pull 50 games.
581
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:08,120
That's fine.
582
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:09,160
What did you say?
583
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:15,640
I... I tried to... pull 50 games without
sleeping.
584
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,440
Why?
585
00:31:23,649 --> 00:31:24,649
See,
586
00:31:25,650 --> 00:31:29,070
you remember the charity bowl -a -thon
our senior year? You were there, right?
587
00:31:29,210 --> 00:31:32,130
Yeah, the one for the Norwegian kid who
hurt himself in the fishing accident,
588
00:31:32,230 --> 00:31:39,110
right? Yeah. Well, I thought I'd... I'm
589
00:31:39,110 --> 00:31:40,490
starting to worry about you.
590
00:31:40,970 --> 00:31:41,970
I'm fine.
591
00:31:43,210 --> 00:31:46,270
You know, most people go through a
midlife crisis.
592
00:31:47,410 --> 00:31:48,650
You're going through a...
593
00:31:49,180 --> 00:31:50,480
A one -third life crisis.
594
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,160
I'm not 18 anymore.
595
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:01,720
Hey, Teach.
596
00:32:03,060 --> 00:32:04,380
I got you one of each.
597
00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:07,740
Thanks. What are you doing here?
598
00:32:08,140 --> 00:32:12,340
Well, I just wanted to come by and let
you know what an unbelievably great time
599
00:32:12,340 --> 00:32:13,720
I had the other night. No, me too.
600
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,220
Best day I have had in... ever.
601
00:32:18,260 --> 00:32:19,260
Actually. Oh, yeah.
602
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:24,480
I also wanted to let you know that I was
leaving town.
603
00:32:27,140 --> 00:32:31,780
What? Well, there's just so much for me
to do out there, and I wasted a lot of
604
00:32:31,780 --> 00:32:34,800
time, so now I just got to go and start
doing and seeing.
605
00:32:35,300 --> 00:32:39,420
Wow, I kind of thought when I saw you
that you were going to ask me out again.
606
00:32:39,860 --> 00:32:41,400
Oh, I'd like to ask you out again.
607
00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:43,740
I'll be back, you know, at some point.
608
00:32:44,820 --> 00:32:45,820
In the meantime...
609
00:32:46,140 --> 00:32:48,360
I got to get out there and start doing
everything.
610
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:54,580
Right. Well, under that general umbrella
of doing everything is dropping me a
611
00:32:54,580 --> 00:32:56,700
postcard every once in a while. No, you
can count on that.
612
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:02,660
I don't suppose kissing you goodbye in
front of all these students is probably
613
00:33:02,660 --> 00:33:05,080
a... Probably not. Of course not.
614
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:10,520
Well, then, until next time.
615
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,420
Bye. Bye. Billy Johnson?
616
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,240
That's me. You're under arrest.
617
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,720
for public display of nudity, disorderly
conduct, and disturbing the peace.
618
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:20,960
You got me again. Uh, wait a second.
619
00:33:21,260 --> 00:33:22,280
No, no, no. It's okay.
620
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:25,920
Turns out disturbing the peace is what I
do best. Gentlemen?
621
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,700
I'll call Ann for you.
622
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,240
All righty.
623
00:33:30,380 --> 00:33:31,380
Which way, fellas?
624
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:32,960
Mr.
625
00:33:38,740 --> 00:33:42,480
Stevens, do you have anything to say on
behalf of your client before I render my
626
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,760
decision? Yes, I do.
627
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,380
Your Honor, life doesn't last forever.
628
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:52,660
We get old, we die. So why bother trying
to figure out how to live? Why not just
629
00:33:52,660 --> 00:33:53,519
give up?
630
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,780
But Willie Johnson here came face to
face with death.
631
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:59,220
When he got his life back after being
hanged by a threat, he decided giving up
632
00:33:59,220 --> 00:34:02,540
was for the birds. He decided he was
going to begin by living deliberately.
633
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,800
Now, for him, this meant maximizing
every moment of his life by doing
634
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,860
everything. Doing everything. Now, is
his system right? Is it wrong? I don't
635
00:34:10,860 --> 00:34:13,659
know. Does his system need a little
refinement so we all don't end up
636
00:34:13,659 --> 00:34:14,659
him bowl naked?
637
00:34:14,670 --> 00:34:17,389
Probably. But we shouldn't punish him
while he works out the kinks.
638
00:34:18,290 --> 00:34:20,310
We should throw him a parade for having
decided how to live.
639
00:34:21,469 --> 00:34:23,830
Your Honor, Willie Johnson is planning
to leave Stuckyville tomorrow.
640
00:34:24,710 --> 00:34:25,710
Let him go.
641
00:34:25,850 --> 00:34:26,949
He hasn't really hurt anyone.
642
00:34:27,909 --> 00:34:28,909
Thank you.
643
00:34:29,790 --> 00:34:32,650
Mr. Johnson, I sympathize with your near
-death experience.
644
00:34:33,770 --> 00:34:36,230
I once had a little incident with my
pool heater.
645
00:34:37,130 --> 00:34:39,770
Still, I can't let these incidents go
completely unpunished.
646
00:34:40,429 --> 00:34:42,750
I find you guilty of disturbing the
peace.
647
00:34:43,370 --> 00:34:47,210
And I think one night in jail just might
do you some good. Your Honor, please.
648
00:34:47,469 --> 00:34:51,969
No, no. Ed, this is okay. I've never
spent a night in jail. Sounds like it
649
00:34:51,969 --> 00:34:52,969
be really exciting.
650
00:34:55,530 --> 00:34:56,530
Willie, you're incredible.
651
00:34:57,170 --> 00:34:58,170
Thanks for everything.
652
00:34:58,950 --> 00:34:59,950
Good luck.
653
00:35:07,630 --> 00:35:08,730
Enjoy your shoes, sir.
654
00:35:10,950 --> 00:35:13,710
That's another 3 .75 cents for one Mr.
Phillips.
655
00:35:14,410 --> 00:35:15,410
Hey,
656
00:35:16,950 --> 00:35:19,350
10 bucks, Mac. You're not in the mood.
657
00:35:19,570 --> 00:35:22,090
Oh, come on. This is a good one. I've
been thinking about this one. It's
658
00:35:22,090 --> 00:35:24,710
conceptual. It's conceptual? Yeah. All
right, what is it?
659
00:35:25,410 --> 00:35:26,470
10 bucks.
660
00:35:27,090 --> 00:35:28,210
You give me 10 bucks.
661
00:35:49,910 --> 00:35:51,350
Ten bucks or if you give me 20 bucks?
662
00:35:54,850 --> 00:35:55,850
Give.
663
00:36:00,290 --> 00:36:04,070
You know, I barely knew him, and yet
somehow I'm already missing him.
664
00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:08,470
Aw. Oh, Molls. He'll probably be back
soon. I mean, it can't take that long to
665
00:36:08,470 --> 00:36:09,530
do everything, can it?
666
00:36:09,950 --> 00:36:12,250
Yeah. Hey, Molly, Molly, Molly. Look
over there.
667
00:36:13,650 --> 00:36:16,290
Isn't that the guy you had a crush on?
How did you know about that? I picked
668
00:36:16,290 --> 00:36:17,290
things up, sister.
669
00:36:18,210 --> 00:36:21,650
Molls. Miles, you've got to go over
there and ask him out right now. Come
670
00:36:22,890 --> 00:36:23,890
Sure. Why not?
671
00:36:29,190 --> 00:36:30,190
Hi, Jeff.
672
00:36:30,490 --> 00:36:31,850
Hi, Molly. How you been?
673
00:36:32,070 --> 00:36:33,070
I'm good.
674
00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:35,630
I'm a little bit behind on my book club
readings, but I'll tell the others.
675
00:36:36,930 --> 00:36:40,930
Listen, I was wondering if you want to
have a drink sometime or grab some
676
00:36:40,930 --> 00:36:42,830
dinner? Sure, that'd be great.
677
00:36:43,330 --> 00:36:44,330
Great.
678
00:36:45,130 --> 00:36:46,130
Okay,
679
00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:48,770
here.
680
00:36:48,990 --> 00:36:49,990
Here's my number.
681
00:36:51,890 --> 00:36:53,210
Call me, whenever.
682
00:36:55,330 --> 00:36:56,330
I'll do that.
683
00:36:56,550 --> 00:36:57,550
Great.
684
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,240
I've not been to the sunset before. I'm
sure there's a sunset out there
685
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,240
somewhere, sir.
686
00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:26,580
Have fun doing everything.
687
00:37:28,060 --> 00:37:29,160
We'll see you, Miss Molly.
688
00:37:33,660 --> 00:37:34,660
Mr. Johnson.
689
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,120
Ed, my good man.
690
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:51,160
Warren.
691
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,660
Hey, what was your time? Did you make
it?
692
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:55,680
No.
693
00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:57,500
37 minutes too slow.
694
00:39:58,060 --> 00:39:59,060
That sucks.
695
00:39:59,740 --> 00:40:01,040
I didn't make it.
696
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:04,320
It's okay.
697
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,360
How you doing?
698
00:40:07,860 --> 00:40:09,520
I went to the woods to live
deliberately.
699
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,400
And?
700
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,840
I learned this, at least, by my
experiment.
701
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:21,480
And if one advances confidently in the
direction of his dreams and endeavors to
702
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:26,740
live the life which he has imagined, he
will meet with a success unexpected in
703
00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:27,740
common hours.
704
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,760
If you build castles in the air, your
work need not be lost.
705
00:40:32,420 --> 00:40:33,640
That is where they should be.
706
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:35,820
Not where the foundation's under them.
707
00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:39,400
And you know that, too. I took high
school English.
708
00:40:44,810 --> 00:40:45,990
You want a lifesaver?
709
00:40:48,110 --> 00:40:50,130
Warren, breakfast is ready.
710
00:40:51,650 --> 00:40:52,650
All right.
711
00:40:58,610 --> 00:40:59,610
Trust me, Ed.
712
00:41:00,630 --> 00:41:01,630
Simplify.
713
00:41:03,970 --> 00:41:04,970
Simplify.
714
00:41:10,750 --> 00:41:12,590
Hey, you want to join us for breakfast?
715
00:41:13,070 --> 00:41:14,600
No. No thanks.
716
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,400
All right.
53530
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