All language subtitles for Ed s01e08 The Whole Truth
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1
00:00:02,619 --> 00:00:05,200
Mike, I might alert you to the fact that
you're eating your cereal shirtless.
2
00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:06,560
Also, pantless.
3
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,220
Okay. You have any chance of slipping a
tub this morning?
4
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,480
Relax, Ed.
5
00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:12,480
I like eating breakfast before I get
dressed.
6
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,460
Is that right? Until you moved in, I did
it all the time.
7
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,660
Now, uh, now you've lived here a few
months, I figure you're one of the
8
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,800
Mike?
9
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:21,519
What, honey?
10
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,520
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,960
You've seen me naked. I'd seen me naked.
12
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,820
It's a big deal. We haven't seen you
naked at the same time.
13
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,240
Why should that matter?
14
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,480
Mike, it just does.
15
00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:34,900
Look, you guys, maybe it's time I found
my own place. I can only imagine how
16
00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:37,600
difficult it must be having a new baby
and a house guest at the same time. And
17
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,260
don't want to use your hospitality here,
so I got the whole week in here. I
18
00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:41,139
could start looking right away.
19
00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:44,320
Ed, don't be ridiculous. We love having
you here. That's right, Eddie.
20
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,380
Really. Please, stay as long as you want
to.
21
00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:51,120
Really? You guys mean that? I mean,
that's great, because I got to admit, I
22
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,840
wasn't that eager. Ed, this is the part
you're supposed to insist on moving out,
23
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:54,940
no matter how much we protest.
24
00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:02,030
Okay, Mike, Nancy, I'm moving out.
25
00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:03,310
Please stay.
26
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,729
Don't go.
27
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:05,890
I insist.
28
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:07,790
All right.
29
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,110
Okay.
30
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:33,240
by your side watching the wild
31
00:01:58,630 --> 00:02:01,210
Grand new kitchen, washer, dryer,
screened -in patio.
32
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:02,670
What do you think, Ken?
33
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,190
How would you define the word id?
34
00:02:06,490 --> 00:02:07,490
Id?
35
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:09,110
Well,
36
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:13,890
it's been a while since I took Psych
101, but I believe Freud said that the
37
00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:17,850
three components of the human psyche
were the id, the ego and the superego,
38
00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:22,570
id being the subconscious part that
deals with urges and drives, you know,
39
00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:24,470
hunger, and things like that. Why? What
are you reading?
40
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:26,250
The Wizard of Id.
41
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,250
Oh.
42
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:30,100
Good stuff.
43
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,220
Two bedrooms, high ceilings, southern
exposure.
44
00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:37,960
I love that show. That moose, he was
always up to no good.
45
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:40,460
Kenny, that was northern exposure.
46
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:41,860
I don't think so.
47
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:49,180
Bosco, I need your full attention. I
have a business proposal. I know all
48
00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:52,420
your business proposal. The answer's
still no. I do not want to hold
49
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:55,200
in the basement. Forget about that. This
is better. It'll bring in busloads of
50
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,500
customers, and at what cost to us? Say
it with me.
51
00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,800
Zot. I'm not... What's the idea?
52
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200
Open mic night.
53
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,800
Think about it. Free admission, ten
drink minimum.
54
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,080
Okay, eight drink.
55
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,760
No, nine drink. Nine drink.
56
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,580
You really think people would come here
and perform?
57
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:15,040
Bosco, of all the golden cabs worshipped
in this godless country, none has so
58
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,040
seductive a moo as celebrity.
59
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,660
I mean, take Kenny over there. He's an
amateur stand -up comic.
60
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,060
Kenny?
61
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:26,040
Whenever I'm on an elevator and it's
stopping on every floor, I turn to the
62
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,080
next to me and say, What is this, local?
63
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:34,400
He's quirky, he's winning, and Shirley
over there. Shirley's no stranger to the
64
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,400
limelight.
65
00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:36,820
Shirley?
66
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:39,840
Once I went to SeaWorld, and the lady at
the sea lion show asked for an
67
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,920
assistant, and I got picked, and I stood
up in front of everybody, and I fed the
68
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,160
sea lion a fish, and the lady asked me
to take a bow, and while I was bowing,
69
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,400
the sea lion bit me in the ASF.
70
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,460
How about that?
71
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,020
Hey, guys.
72
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:52,940
Well, hey, Molly. Hi.
73
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,940
Um, Ed, I... I need to ask you a favor.
74
00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,240
Sure.
75
00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:01,180
So?
76
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,040
It's about my grandfather.
77
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,200
You met him at Thanksgiving.
78
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,420
Actually, I met him way before that.
Back when he owned and operated
79
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:10,339
Pet Shop.
80
00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:11,880
You bought a pet for my grandfather?
81
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:13,400
My first one. A turtle.
82
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,580
Poor little guy choked to death on a
jewel.
83
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,200
A jewel?
84
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:18,259
No, a jewel.
85
00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,579
A gum with a squirty stuff inside.
86
00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:21,420
Oh, right, right.
87
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:26,200
The thing is, Ed, Charlie's not doing so
well lately.
88
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,020
The doctors say that we might not have
him around much longer.
89
00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:31,460
Oh, my.
90
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:32,900
I'm sorry.
91
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:37,760
He wants to put together... Wow.
92
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:39,680
It's a little tough to talk about.
93
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:47,560
He wants to put together his will, so I
thought maybe if you weren't too busy...
94
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:48,960
Say no more. I'll get right on it.
95
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,500
Great. Great.
96
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:53,970
And you're going to get a kick out of
Charlie.
97
00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:57,950
Just don't let him talk your ear off
about his swinging bachelor days. You a
98
00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:58,589
wild man?
99
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:03,190
Oh, Molly, did I ever tell you about the
time I nailed the butter -churning lady
100
00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:06,210
at Colonial Williamsburg? Oh, my gosh.
I'm looking forward to this already.
101
00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:08,210
Thanks, Ed.
102
00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:09,970
It means a lot to me.
103
00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:21,390
Morning, Wendy.
104
00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:25,630
What's so funny?
105
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:26,770
Oh, nothing, Dr. Burton.
106
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:29,190
I know, it looks like you're trying to
hold back a laugh.
107
00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:33,070
I was just thinking about an old episode
of Night Court.
108
00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:34,630
Okay.
109
00:05:43,030 --> 00:05:45,370
Hey, you must be Dr. Burton.
110
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:46,870
Yeah, yeah, I am. Who are you?
111
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:47,929
Scott Benson.
112
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:48,930
Hey, call me Dr.
113
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:52,870
Scotty. My patients seem to like the
informality. Yeah, it helps me relate to
114
00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:53,819
you.
115
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,840
Why are you seeing my patient, Dr.
116
00:05:56,700 --> 00:06:01,340
Scotty? Well, you were a couple six
minutes late, so I thought I'd cover for
117
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,220
you. Could you pass me the tongue
delighters?
118
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,620
Tongue delighters?
119
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:07,160
Well, we don't want to depress our
patients now, do we?
120
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,200
Carol!
121
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:16,680
Carol!
122
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,740
Hey! Warren.
123
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,900
Warren, I realize it's Saturday, but
weekday rules still apply. That means
124
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:27,440
student, me teacher, you Warren, me Miss
Bessie.
125
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:28,960
Oh, I understand.
126
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,600
Because we have to keep up appearances.
127
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,600
Yeah. Sometimes I feel like we're in
dangerous liaisons.
128
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:34,860
Hey, Cal.
129
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,360
Ed!
130
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,540
Is this guy bothering you?
131
00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,000
Say the word and I'll throw down.
132
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:40,699
I'm fine.
133
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,639
How you doing?
134
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,160
Hey, can you play that guitar?
135
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,680
Because we're going to have an open mic
night at Stucky Bowl.
136
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:47,820
Are you going to be there?
137
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,440
I might.
138
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,560
All right, thanks, tough guy.
139
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,800
I owe you a solid. Sure.
140
00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:56,680
Hey, peace out.
141
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,079
Goodbye, Warren.
142
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,080
Bye, Mr. Essie.
143
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,000
Tell us something, huh?
144
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:06,340
Yeah. So, Mike and Nancy finally kicked
you out. They didn't kick me out. What
145
00:07:06,340 --> 00:07:09,880
they did was they... Kicked you out?
That's right.
146
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,360
Why don't you join me? I could use a
woman's perspective.
147
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,339
What do you mean?
148
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:16,440
You can help me find a happening pet
that'll attract a happening lady.
149
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,380
Ah, I have a tip for you.
150
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,280
What's that? Let's go play for the
grotto.
151
00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:21,820
Grotto?
152
00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:22,910
You know what I realized?
153
00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:25,610
This will be the first time in my life
I've lived alone, you know? I mean,
154
00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:27,810
obviously, I grew up with my parents,
and then I had roommates all through
155
00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:29,370
college and law school, and then came
Liz.
156
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,110
You guys lived together before you were
married?
157
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:32,449
Yep. Yep.
158
00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:34,190
It was just me, Liz, and Chrissy.
159
00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:35,629
Who's Chrissy?
160
00:07:35,630 --> 00:07:38,430
This nutty blonde chick. We had to tell
the landlord I was gay. Oh.
161
00:07:38,930 --> 00:07:39,930
It was a mad cat.
162
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:42,370
Thank you. You're welcome.
163
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,930
Hello. Oh, hi.
164
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:50,250
I'm Ed Stephens. I'm in the market for a
house. Oh, I'm Dana Jarvis.
165
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:51,520
Hi. Let me guess.
166
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,300
Newlyweds. Yes.
167
00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:57,380
Yes. Is it really that obvious? We're
not married. She's not well. Ed. Yes,
168
00:07:57,380 --> 00:08:00,160
dear? Why don't you tell me what kind of
home you're looking for?
169
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:05,020
Mrs. Jarvis, I need you to understand
something. I lived in New York City. I
170
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:07,100
have a lot of experience with real
estate agents. I know how this works.
171
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,620
And how's that, Mr. Stevens?
172
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,780
Instead of you showing me a place you
think I really like, you show me a
173
00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:14,360
bad one. So I lower my expectations, and
then you can sell me pretty much
174
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,299
anything.
175
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:16,300
Sound familiar?
176
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,160
Yes. I suppose it does.
177
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,060
Then why don't we save ourselves some
time and energy?
178
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,120
Skip the bad house, go straight to the
good ones.
179
00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:24,700
All right, Mr. Stevens.
180
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,540
By tomorrow morning, I will have a list
of wonderful homes to show you. Very
181
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:30,300
good. Will you be joining us, Mrs.
Stevens?
182
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,900
I'm not, Mrs. Stevens.
183
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,320
She was hit on the head with a falling
coconut.
184
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,299
Come in.
185
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,920
Dr. Jerome, what's going on? Many
things, Dr.
186
00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:48,180
Burton, many things.
187
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:52,370
The universe is expanding, the art of
cinema is dying, and my daughter Melissa
188
00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:53,530
is marrying a Moroccan.
189
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,310
The man wears a fez.
190
00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:59,630
What's the new doctor doing here? Oh,
yes, Dr. Scotty. I've invited him to
191
00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:00,409
the practice.
192
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:01,410
Why?
193
00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:05,570
We don't need another doctor. You and I
can handle all the patients, Dr. Jerome.
194
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,410
Dr. Burton, take my hand.
195
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:13,790
Feel it.
196
00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:19,240
What was once a limber, supple
instrument of healing... now grows
197
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,380
leathery, and stiff.
198
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,300
My day of retirement looms ever closer,
and I want to make sure that this
199
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,440
practice is left in the right hands.
200
00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:31,200
But when I took this job, Dr. Drum, it
was the understanding that you'd leave
201
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,199
the practice to me.
202
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,880
You, Dr. Burton, are what was known in
the grunge rock era of the early 90s as
203
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:41,520
slacker. Really? So I believe I owe it
to my patients to see if Dr. Scotty can
204
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,520
do better.
205
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,670
Thanks for the chat.
206
00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:04,350
Oh, I was expecting the Indian food guy.
207
00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:06,330
Oh, sorry. It's me, Ed Stevens.
208
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:09,090
Molly said... Oh, yes, yes, yes.
209
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:12,410
You like Indian food, don't you, Jerry?
210
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:15,530
Ed, actually. I'll be calling you Jerry.
211
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,340
It's more fun to say. Come inside.
212
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,160
Well, do you like the samosas, Jerry?
213
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,800
The pakoras? The lamb biryani?
214
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,580
The onion kurcha? Sure.
215
00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:32,420
Do you like tandoori chicken?
216
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,420
Tandoori chicken?
217
00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:37,580
It's tasty.
218
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,440
All right, sit down. Sit over there.
219
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:44,900
Well, at first I wasn't sure about the
whole...
220
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,780
bowling alley lawyer thing.
221
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:50,980
But then I figured, it's only my last
will and testament.
222
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,280
Don't worry, Mr. Hudson. I promise I
will do as good. I know you will, Jerry.
223
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,380
Well, let's get down to it.
224
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:57,860
Sure. Yes.
225
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,220
Well, there are lots of options when it
comes to drawing up a will.
226
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:07,440
The point is, of course, to minimize the
tax burdens. So just take all my stuff
227
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,040
and divvy it up among my survivors.
228
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:10,380
Okay.
229
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,880
Okay. And who might those survivors be?
230
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,220
My son.
231
00:11:14,430 --> 00:11:17,150
Daughter -in -law, one niece, two
nephews.
232
00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:18,890
Molly, of course.
233
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,610
Say, do you like beefaroni?
234
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:28,290
Yeah. I bought a couple dozen cases of
the stuff in preparation for Y2K.
235
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:30,010
I'm leaving it all to you.
236
00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,270
Oh, thanks.
237
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:33,270
Thanks.
238
00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:36,150
Is there anyone else we might be
missing?
239
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:37,690
Ron.
240
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,270
Ron. And he would be? My lover.
241
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:41,810
Hmm?
242
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,580
Wait till you taste this chicken
vindaloo.
243
00:11:56,540 --> 00:12:03,200
Can I bounce a joke off you, Chief?
244
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:04,680
Oh, yeah, I can.
245
00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,220
Open mic night? Absolutely.
246
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:10,220
Jewish astronaut.
247
00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:14,120
Comes back from a month -long space
shuttle mission where he orbits the
248
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:18,340
every four hours. A reporter asked him,
how do you feel? He says, I'm exhausted.
249
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:22,160
Do you know how many times I had to say
Chakras, Mirka, and Mariv?
250
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:24,180
What does that even mean?
251
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,299
Something hilarious.
252
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,199
Where'd you get that joke?
253
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,200
Made it up, Kenny.
254
00:12:29,340 --> 00:12:32,940
Kenny, just a thought, but maybe you
might want to think about taking your
255
00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:34,840
in a less Hebraic direction.
256
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:36,820
Thanks, Chief.
257
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,540
You're a great sounding board.
258
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:39,780
My pleasure.
259
00:12:40,689 --> 00:12:41,689
Hi, Ed.
260
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:42,970
Oh, hey. Hi, Molly.
261
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,029
How are you?
262
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:47,450
Good. Good. What you doing? I'm working
on Charlie's will. I saw him yesterday.
263
00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:48,670
Yeah, he told me.
264
00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:49,930
He liked you.
265
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,290
So, how'd it go from your side?
266
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,150
Good. Good.
267
00:12:55,950 --> 00:12:56,950
I'd say it went pretty well.
268
00:12:57,530 --> 00:12:58,530
Good.
269
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:01,050
They moved him into the hospital this
morning.
270
00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:06,510
Really? Why? He seemed fine. Oh, Charlie
puts up a good friend. He just doesn't
271
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:07,730
want anybody to feel sorry for him.
272
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:09,550
Right.
273
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:16,300
Hey, Molly, did Charlie ever tell you a
surprising personal fact about himself?
274
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,200
What do you mean?
275
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:24,460
Well, you know, a fact about himself, a
personal one, that when he told you, you
276
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:25,460
were surprised.
277
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,580
Thanks for the clarification.
278
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:34,040
Oh, okay. In 1952, he was hitchhiking
and got picked up by Zeppa Marks.
279
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,200
That wasn't it.
280
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:38,910
Look, that was it. That was it. I know.
When you told me that, I was bowled
281
00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:42,970
over. I mean, of all the Mars brothers
to be picked up by... You get picked up
282
00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:45,590
by Zepo, that's... Is everything okay?
Yeah, it's fine.
283
00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:53,210
Phil! Pretty sweet, huh? Phil, we do not
want you gonging the performers.
284
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:57,650
Fine, fine. We'll just move on to plan
B. No giant hooks, either.
285
00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:02,570
Right down here, Mr. Harris.
286
00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:03,890
Mrs. Andrews.
287
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,160
I have your test results.
288
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,900
And? We seem to have caught it just in
time.
289
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,620
You're going to be fine, Mrs.
290
00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,360
Andrews. You're going to live a long and
healthy life.
291
00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:13,660
Oh, thank God.
292
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,200
Oh, thank you, Dr.
293
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:18,740
Scott. Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have
done that. Don't be silly.
294
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,020
Have a lollipop.
295
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,120
Oh, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm
happy for you, Mrs.
296
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:25,480
Andrews.
297
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,780
This is exciting.
298
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,320
I'm going to have my own garage. I'm
going to have my own backyard.
299
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:34,310
I'm out in the fireplace. Hey, Carol,
what's your take on bearskin rugs?
300
00:14:34,530 --> 00:14:35,670
I think they look good on bears.
301
00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:38,370
All right, kids, here we are.
302
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,270
The perfect place for the two of you to
start a family.
303
00:14:41,910 --> 00:14:42,829
Okay, Mrs.
304
00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:46,890
Jarvis. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
305
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,110
I thought you said we were going to skip
the part where you showed me the bad
306
00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:51,150
house. We did.
307
00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:53,310
This is obviously the bad house.
308
00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:55,930
No, it's not.
309
00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:56,989
Prove it.
310
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,510
What do you mean? Take me to a place on
your list that's worse than this house.
311
00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,150
If you can't, I'm getting a new realtor.
312
00:15:01,390 --> 00:15:02,850
Mr. Stevens. Right now.
313
00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:04,290
Let's go.
314
00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:05,430
Honey?
315
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,530
Honey?
316
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,850
Well, Mr. Harris, I've got excellent
news.
317
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,350
What's that?
318
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:17,730
Taking several weeks of treatment. I'm
happy to tell you that your athlete's
319
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:18,730
foot has been cured.
320
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,090
Oh. Good.
321
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:23,850
Oh, yes, Mr. Harris. I have eradicated
your athlete's foot.
322
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,220
Goodbye itching, goodbye redness,
goodbye cracked skin.
323
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,480
You, sir, are going to live a long and
healthy life.
324
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:32,900
Why are you shouting?
325
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,840
All right, there you are. What did I
tell you?
326
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,800
Miss Jarvis, this house is much nicer
than the one we just saw.
327
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,040
No, it's not.
328
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:41,300
It's awful.
329
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,520
Just listen.
330
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,560
To what?
331
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,340
Train. There's no train. And just look
at those windows.
332
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,300
What's wrong with them?
333
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:53,840
The windows and the door make the eyes
and the mouth of a mean face.
334
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,580
Hey, she's right.
335
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,920
Ms. Jarvis, you are no longer my real
estate agent.
336
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,640
Let's go, Carol.
337
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,599
Smell that?
338
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,580
We're right downwind of a glue factory.
339
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:10,260
Honey, you know, I just don't get it. He
told you two years ago that you'd
340
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,640
inherit the practice. I know.
341
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,020
I know. It's ridiculous.
342
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,420
But what can I do? Well, I think you
should talk to him.
343
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,960
The last time I tried talking to him, he
tore me a new ax.
344
00:16:21,010 --> 00:16:22,010
Tushy.
345
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:23,430
Tore me a new tushy.
346
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:27,130
Why don't you explain your situation to
Dr. Scotty? He might not even realize
347
00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:28,170
that he's stealing your job.
348
00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:30,089
That's true.
349
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,010
Hey, guys. Hey, Edward.
350
00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:34,330
So, how's the house hunting going?
351
00:16:34,630 --> 00:16:37,590
Oh, it's great. I'll have a house in no
time. We have yet to set foot inside the
352
00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:38,590
house.
353
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,890
Hey, Ed, ten bucks if you give your
order to the waitress and rhyme.
354
00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:43,410
Oh, God.
355
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:46,950
What can I get you folks?
356
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:49,130
Ed, why don't you go ahead and get us
started?
357
00:16:49,730 --> 00:16:50,730
Okay.
358
00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:54,510
What beverage will I have? Let's see.
359
00:16:55,650 --> 00:16:57,950
How about a frosty glass of your iced
tea?
360
00:16:58,370 --> 00:17:03,150
And then, to start, for my appetizer, I
would like the gravy fries.
361
00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:07,290
Or maybe I'll have my fries with cheese,
yes.
362
00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:09,430
I'll change my order, if you please.
363
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:14,430
And after that, well, for my main
course, I will have the tuna melt, of
364
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,869
Ed, you can't rhyme course with course.
365
00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:23,670
And perhaps a side of horse.
366
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,470
A side of horse.
367
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:33,070
Okay. Dr. Roberts, Dr. P .D. Roberts,
please call 301.
368
00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:38,190
Dr. Roberts, call 301. Molly, I really
wish you'd stop bringing me presents. I
369
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,970
don't like you spending your money on
me.
370
00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:41,470
Grandpa, I think you're forgetting
something.
371
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:42,830
I'm a high school teacher.
372
00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:46,170
I am rich beyond your wildest
imagination. Oh, yeah.
373
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:47,650
I'll bet.
374
00:17:48,070 --> 00:17:51,030
Well, what have we here? Oh, look at
this.
375
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,500
A brand new photo album. You like it?
376
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,060
Look at this. What a coincidence.
377
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,600
It came filled with photos of me and my
family.
378
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,540
What are the odds of that, Molly?
379
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,980
It's like an episode out of Twilight
Zone.
380
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,560
New Year's Day, 1965.
381
00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:08,860
Look at your grandmother.
382
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,000
Just like you.
383
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:16,480
Except for that god -awful beehive
hairdo. Did I ever tell you about the
384
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,179
caught fire?
385
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,180
Yes, sir, you did.
386
00:18:19,919 --> 00:18:21,700
Oh, God, I miss her.
387
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,540
You know, Molly, life's a lot more fun
if you've got someone to share it with.
388
00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:31,160
Yeah, well, it's finding that right
someone that's the tough part.
389
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,040
The way you talk about that Ed Stevens,
I figured maybe you had.
390
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,300
Grandpa.
391
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:39,040
Molly, have you ever been able to keep a
secret from me?
392
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:43,760
There are no secrets between Molly and
Charlie Hudson.
393
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:46,060
Yes.
394
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:47,540
What's the matter?
395
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:48,860
Ah, Carol!
396
00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:52,110
Hi. Come on.
397
00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:54,010
And Jerry.
398
00:18:54,370 --> 00:18:55,590
Oh, my God.
399
00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:58,530
A lawyer in a bowling shirt.
400
00:18:59,210 --> 00:19:00,650
The world's gone to hell.
401
00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:04,890
I brought you some cupcakes, but
maybe... No, no, no, no. Just plop them
402
00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:06,090
IV bag. They'll dissolve.
403
00:19:07,290 --> 00:19:10,470
How are you feeling? Is there anything
we can do for you? No, no, no. I'm
404
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:11,550
perfectly fine.
405
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,019
Right then.
406
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:17,280
Listen, why don't you girls give me and
Jerry just a couple of minutes to talk,
407
00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:18,380
huh? Okay.
408
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,060
See you later, then.
409
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,200
Well,
410
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,120
this will be quick, Mr. Hudson.
411
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:28,020
Just have you initial every page where
there's an X, and then sign at the end,
412
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,280
and I'll be your witness.
413
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,160
I suppose you've been wondering about me
and Ron.
414
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:36,360
I can assure you, Mr. Hudson, I have no
problem with that.
415
00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:38,840
It took me a long time to get used to
it, I can tell you.
416
00:19:40,399 --> 00:19:44,800
I was a world -class skirt chaser until
my wife Eileen came along. Is that
417
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,180
right? Married 35 years.
418
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,700
Loved her with all my heart.
419
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,840
When she passed, I was lost.
420
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,920
Then one day, I'm having a beer over at
the Smiling Goat, and Ron walks in.
421
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,780
Pulls up a stool, we get to talking.
Turns out, he's a widower, too.
422
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,420
We start spending some time together.
423
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,580
You know, fishing, playing cards, that
kind of thing.
424
00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:10,370
And then out of a clear blue sky, it
just happened.
425
00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:13,290
Damnedest thing, ain't it?
426
00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:16,330
I suppose that qualifies as the
damnedest.
427
00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:20,690
And Charlie certainly did go on well.
428
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,270
Ah, yeah.
429
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,150
Yeah, it's nice.
430
00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:28,350
So what about you and Ed? I mean, what's
the deal?
431
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:29,610
What deal?
432
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:34,570
Well, you're picking pumpkins on
Thanksgiving and you're house hunting
433
00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:35,990
That deal.
434
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,540
We're just hanging out.
435
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:38,940
There is no deal.
436
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:44,220
Right. Miles, look, I know it's hard to
believe, but we've actually settled into
437
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:47,320
a very comfortable relationship just as
friends.
438
00:20:48,220 --> 00:20:53,620
So you have no interest whatsoever in
pursuing a romantic relationship with
439
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:54,620
Edward J. Stevens?
440
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,100
Absolutely not.
441
00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:00,940
Why?
442
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,420
I'm just curious.
443
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,510
Yeah. Well, now that you've satisfied my
curiosity, let's just talk about
444
00:21:06,510 --> 00:21:09,090
something else. Let's, you know, like
Sherbert.
445
00:21:10,390 --> 00:21:14,710
Sherbert? Have you ever noticed that
people actually pronounce it Sherbert?
446
00:21:14,910 --> 00:21:16,790
But it's not. You know, it's Sherbert.
447
00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:18,090
No second R.
448
00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:19,770
No second R.
449
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,250
One of those things.
450
00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:25,350
Jerry, you're the only one in the world
who knows about me and Ron.
451
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:28,230
Except Ron, of course. I think he has a
hunch.
452
00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:35,790
The fact is, there are people in my
family who just wouldn't accept it. You
453
00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:38,010
don't have to worry about me, Mr.
Hudson. Anything you tell me stays in
454
00:21:38,010 --> 00:21:40,170
room. My son George, for example.
455
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:41,830
A real man's man.
456
00:21:42,330 --> 00:21:43,330
Just like his pop.
457
00:21:44,630 --> 00:21:47,370
If he knew about Ron, he'd never look at
me the same way again.
458
00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:48,930
I understand.
459
00:21:49,190 --> 00:21:53,370
So, here's the question I ask myself a
thousand times a day.
460
00:21:54,670 --> 00:21:58,230
Should I take my little secret to the
grave, or should I tell everybody?
461
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:00,860
Consequences be damned.
462
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,640
You're, um... You're asking my opinion?
463
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,160
No, I'm asking the Sheik of Araby.
464
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:13,920
Ah. Well, it's a personal decision, of
course, Mr. Hudson, but... I'd say you
465
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,920
have a right to your privacy.
466
00:22:15,340 --> 00:22:19,660
Yes, I know that, Jerry, but I... I've
also got the right to pass on without
467
00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:21,740
feeling like I had something to hide.
468
00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:26,100
God, it'd be great to just go ahead and
tell him and be done with it.
469
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,680
Then maybe you should.
470
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:31,760
Maybe I should.
471
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:34,980
Jerry, I'm going to do it.
472
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,580
Would you arrange a family gathering for
me?
473
00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:41,780
Of course.
474
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:42,860
Thank you.
475
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,760
Dr. Scott, do you mind if I talk to you
for a second? Yeah, sure thing, Dr.
476
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:49,900
Mike.
477
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,320
It's a plan Mike will do. Oh, trust me
on this one. It'll double your tips.
478
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,520
Look, here's the story.
479
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,480
I've been working for Dr. Jerome for two
years.
480
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,120
And to tell you the truth, sometimes the
guy can be a bit cranky.
481
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:07,700
What's kept me sane these past 24 months
is the knowledge that when he retires,
482
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:14,200
I take over the practice. Now, Dr.
Scotty, I don't know where you came
483
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,780
you are, or what you want, but I'm
asking for your sympathy.
484
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:22,280
Don't take this away from me. Tell Dr.
Jerome you don't want the practice.
485
00:23:22,620 --> 00:23:23,620
No problem.
486
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,640
Consider it done.
487
00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:28,720
Really. Yeah. Look, if I'd known I was
going to be stepping on toes, I never
488
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,240
would have taken this job in the first
place.
489
00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:34,940
Well, you're a decent guy, Dr. Scottie.
Thank you. You know, my good friends
490
00:23:34,940 --> 00:23:35,559
call me Dr.
491
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,100
Scottay. All right, well, try me again
when I'm drunk.
492
00:23:38,340 --> 00:23:39,520
You got it. Yeah.
493
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:43,620
Okay, Leonard, we look forward to seeing
you Friday night. Just a reminder, the
494
00:23:43,620 --> 00:23:47,100
pigeons need to be housed. We cannot
provide housing for the pigeons.
495
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,499
Next, please.
496
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:49,379
Your name?
497
00:23:49,380 --> 00:23:51,260
Godfrey Clemens. And what is that?
498
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,489
A lute.
499
00:23:52,490 --> 00:23:56,150
Okay, are you like a hobbit or
something? This is an upscale evening of
500
00:23:56,150 --> 00:23:57,150
entertainment.
501
00:23:57,730 --> 00:23:58,830
We're going to have to pass.
502
00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:00,530
But it's just an open mic night.
503
00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:02,750
That's right, and Broadway is just a
street.
504
00:24:04,050 --> 00:24:05,050
Next, please.
505
00:24:06,930 --> 00:24:07,930
Warren Cheswick.
506
00:24:08,070 --> 00:24:10,070
That is a hot stage name. What's your
real name?
507
00:24:10,270 --> 00:24:11,330
Warren Cheswick.
508
00:24:11,990 --> 00:24:14,410
Finally, someone with a sense of
showmanship.
509
00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:17,370
I've got a band, the Warren Cheswick
Experience.
510
00:24:18,130 --> 00:24:19,530
That is so original.
511
00:24:20,130 --> 00:24:21,130
Thanks.
512
00:24:21,290 --> 00:24:23,230
I'll allow you to perform under one
condition.
513
00:24:24,490 --> 00:24:25,490
Righteous.
514
00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:26,790
Yeah, sure, anything.
515
00:24:27,150 --> 00:24:28,150
I sing lead.
516
00:24:34,230 --> 00:24:35,750
Hi, Mai. Hi, Ed.
517
00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:37,910
This is my dad, George.
518
00:24:38,130 --> 00:24:38,929
Hi, George.
519
00:24:38,930 --> 00:24:39,930
And my mom, Helen.
520
00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:41,510
Hello. This is Ed Stephens.
521
00:24:42,050 --> 00:24:45,250
We're worried, Mr. Stephens. Could you
give us some idea what this is about?
522
00:24:45,530 --> 00:24:48,490
I'm afraid I can't, Mrs. Hudson. Don't
tell me. He's banging a nurse.
523
00:24:48,910 --> 00:24:52,410
I'm so sorry to have to tell you this,
but... What is it?
524
00:24:52,690 --> 00:24:54,310
Mr. Hudson just passed away.
525
00:24:55,770 --> 00:24:56,890
Oh, no.
526
00:24:57,430 --> 00:24:58,430
Oh, honey.
527
00:25:05,790 --> 00:25:08,510
Mark calling Orson. Mark calling Orson.
528
00:25:08,790 --> 00:25:10,070
Come in, laser breath.
529
00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:13,370
Yes, Mark. This is Orson.
530
00:25:13,670 --> 00:25:15,830
What have you learned this week?
531
00:25:16,230 --> 00:25:19,530
Well... I experienced a strange new
emotion.
532
00:25:20,210 --> 00:25:22,490
Here on Earth, they call it love.
533
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:25,290
It's good.
534
00:25:26,030 --> 00:25:29,490
You know, you might want to dial down
that morph factor just a tad.
535
00:25:29,850 --> 00:25:30,850
Gotcha.
536
00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:33,490
Hey, Bosco, nice suit.
537
00:25:33,690 --> 00:25:34,830
You're going to a funeral.
538
00:25:35,130 --> 00:25:36,190
Phil, I am going to a funeral.
539
00:25:37,650 --> 00:25:38,650
Oh.
540
00:25:41,050 --> 00:25:42,050
Carol.
541
00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:45,070
I'm facing an ethical dilemma.
542
00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:46,750
What's that?
543
00:25:47,180 --> 00:25:50,200
Suppose somebody had a secret, and they
wanted to tell the secret, but for some
544
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,740
reason they couldn't, and you're the
only other person that knows about the
545
00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:56,580
secret. So now the only way it gets told
is if you tell it, but A, it's not your
546
00:25:56,580 --> 00:25:57,580
secret to tell, and B,
547
00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,720
there's certain people who'd rather not
hear about it.
548
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:03,980
Who has the secret? I can't tell you
that. Ed. What? If you want my help,
549
00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:04,980
really going to have to be more
specific.
550
00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:07,460
Look, but if I tell you this thing, then
you have to promise that it stays
551
00:26:07,460 --> 00:26:08,460
strictly between us.
552
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,459
Okay. Forever.
553
00:26:09,460 --> 00:26:11,100
Okay. Charlie Hudson was gay.
554
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,480
What?
555
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,240
No way.
556
00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:16,480
What about Molly's grandmother?
557
00:26:17,020 --> 00:26:20,520
What about the time he nailed the butter
-churning lady in Colonial
558
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:25,340
Williamsburg? It's a long story, but
basically, he's been in a relationship
559
00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:28,180
this guy named Ron for a few years now,
and he wanted to tell his family. He
560
00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:30,320
just died before he got the chance.
561
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,520
Wow. Yeah.
562
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,120
Does Molly know?
563
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:36,300
No. Nobody does.
564
00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:39,100
So what do I do now?
565
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,660
You're sure he wanted everyone to know?
He told me so himself.
566
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,040
Well, then, I guess... I guess you have
an announcement to make.
567
00:26:50,180 --> 00:26:51,180
Yeah.
568
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:53,520
Yeah.
569
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,120
Maybe we could just flip for it. You
know, heads I tell it, tails you tell
570
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,480
What do you think about that? Or straws.
We could draw straws. Straws. Do you
571
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,820
have any straws in you? No. Oh,
572
00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:07,500
George.
573
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:09,820
Everybody's being so wonderful.
574
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,820
Your father had so many people who loved
him.
575
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,320
Yeah.
576
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:21,980
Hi, guys.
577
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,520
Hey, Molly.
578
00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:24,900
Thanks for coming.
579
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:30,380
You can, um, you can just leave your
coats over there.
580
00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:33,920
Miles, I'm so sorry.
581
00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:35,260
Thanks.
582
00:27:40,060 --> 00:27:41,220
He's a terrific guy.
583
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,280
Yeah.
584
00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:45,020
Yeah, he was.
585
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:51,320
You know, Ed, I don't want to waste any
more of your time with the will, so I
586
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,060
was thinking that we could just do the
reading tonight at the reception.
587
00:27:55,580 --> 00:27:56,580
Well, there's no hurry.
588
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:59,660
In fact, the will isn't officially filed
yet.
589
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:01,960
So we could wait.
590
00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:05,060
Yeah, we better do it tonight before
everyone leaves town.
591
00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:07,660
Okay. Okay.
592
00:28:23,690 --> 00:28:24,690
Excuse me.
593
00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:26,770
Did you by any chance know Mr. Hudson?
594
00:28:27,870 --> 00:28:29,890
Of course you know him, otherwise you
probably wouldn't be here.
595
00:28:30,590 --> 00:28:31,590
But... Sorry.
596
00:28:31,770 --> 00:28:32,770
Do I know you?
597
00:28:33,050 --> 00:28:34,610
I'm Ed Stephens, Mr. Hudson's attorney.
598
00:28:36,190 --> 00:28:37,190
Ron Jeffries.
599
00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:38,550
Friend.
600
00:28:39,070 --> 00:28:40,070
That's what I guessed.
601
00:28:41,090 --> 00:28:42,090
Guess what?
602
00:28:42,690 --> 00:28:43,690
That you were a friend.
603
00:28:44,350 --> 00:28:45,350
Or a business partner.
604
00:28:45,690 --> 00:28:46,690
Oh.
605
00:28:47,090 --> 00:28:48,090
Or something else.
606
00:28:50,810 --> 00:28:52,170
Maybe a war buddy.
607
00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:54,860
Perhaps you played together in a high
school band.
608
00:28:55,100 --> 00:28:58,600
He was first trombone, you were second
trombone. Not to imply anything about
609
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,020
your relative trombone -playing
abilities.
610
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,340
You could have been first trombone. He
told you?
611
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:05,660
Yes.
612
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:11,280
Ron, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Did
he tell anyone else?
613
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,060
No. Good.
614
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:14,800
Nice to meet you, Ed.
615
00:29:22,570 --> 00:29:26,610
Excuse me. Ron, I'm sorry. There's
something I really need to discuss with
616
00:29:26,770 --> 00:29:27,770
What's that?
617
00:29:28,370 --> 00:29:32,570
Right before Charlie died, he was
planning on telling his family about
618
00:29:32,570 --> 00:29:33,570
relationship.
619
00:29:34,730 --> 00:29:41,590
Now that he's gone, I was considering
telling them myself. I thought
620
00:29:41,590 --> 00:29:44,450
it might make more sense coming from
you.
621
00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:50,570
Ed, do you know how hard it is to have
to hide the fact that you love somebody?
622
00:29:53,439 --> 00:29:58,500
No, sir. I guess I really don't. I
wanted to tell my family about me and
623
00:29:58,500 --> 00:29:59,500
Charlie.
624
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:01,340
For years.
625
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,260
I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
626
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:07,440
Call me a coward.
627
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:08,880
Sir, I don't think you're a coward.
628
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,260
If Charlie wants his people to know, I
say, go ahead.
629
00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:14,980
Tell them.
630
00:30:15,700 --> 00:30:16,940
But I can't be there.
631
00:30:18,620 --> 00:30:20,480
I'm sorry. I just can't be there.
632
00:30:34,570 --> 00:30:35,509
Yeah, boys.
633
00:30:35,510 --> 00:30:37,910
We blew the roof off that mother.
634
00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:39,810
Something like that.
635
00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:41,990
All right, let's do it again. One more
time. Harold.
636
00:30:42,610 --> 00:30:43,610
No.
637
00:30:46,830 --> 00:30:52,570
I refuse to waste another nanosecond of
my life learning a song, and I use that
638
00:30:52,570 --> 00:30:55,930
term loosely, written by a bowling alley
shoe guy.
639
00:30:56,330 --> 00:30:59,410
Come on, Gavin. This is our first public
performance.
640
00:30:59,910 --> 00:31:02,010
You think a little group called The
Beatles?
641
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,400
Ever hit the stage before they were
ready?
642
00:31:04,620 --> 00:31:09,140
The only reason I'm in this group is
that you swore to me that we'd never
643
00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:10,900
compromise our creative vision.
644
00:31:11,140 --> 00:31:14,660
No, Gavin, the only reason you're in
this group is because you got a Casio
645
00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:15,660
for your bar mitzvah.
646
00:31:17,700 --> 00:31:18,700
Harold!
647
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:25,620
Before we begin the actual reading of
the will, I have an announcement to
648
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,500
I didn't know Charlie Hudson very long.
649
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,120
A few days, in fact.
650
00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:37,130
But... In that short time, I came to
realize that he was a... a special guy.
651
00:31:37,630 --> 00:31:38,630
Here, here.
652
00:31:40,070 --> 00:31:41,070
Caring.
653
00:31:41,370 --> 00:31:42,770
Loving. Brave.
654
00:31:43,010 --> 00:31:44,010
And funny.
655
00:31:44,630 --> 00:31:45,630
And handsome.
656
00:31:46,970 --> 00:31:47,970
Gay.
657
00:31:49,930 --> 00:31:51,070
So on to the will.
658
00:31:51,570 --> 00:31:54,890
I, Charles Hudson, being of sound
mind... Son?
659
00:31:55,170 --> 00:31:58,350
Mm -hmm? Would you mind repeating that
last bit of business?
660
00:31:59,970 --> 00:32:00,970
Sorry.
661
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:06,760
Your father wanted you to know that he
was a gay, a homosexual.
662
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:15,040
And he intended to tell you himself, but
he... So that left me.
663
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:21,360
Questions? Comments?
664
00:32:27,740 --> 00:32:28,740
Hello,
665
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,360
everybody.
666
00:32:31,340 --> 00:32:33,740
I'm Ron Jeffries, Charlie's partner.
667
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:39,400
Well, I see you brought a meatloaf.
668
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,500
It's a Cajun meatloaf.
669
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,260
Dr. Jerome, I have here a project I've
been working on in my spare time as a
670
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:54,820
gesture of goodwill.
671
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,320
It's a cross -reference study of every
patient in the history of your 38 years
672
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:00,700
practicing medicine in Stuckyville.
673
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:05,020
Yeah, yeah. By looking at these files,
you can learn how illnesses spread
674
00:33:05,020 --> 00:33:08,000
throughout the community, success rates
of various forms of treatment. Dr.
675
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:09,780
Jerome? I'm sorry, Dr.
676
00:33:09,980 --> 00:33:11,020
Burton. I'm a bit distracted.
677
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,940
Dr. Scotty here connected my computer to
a worldwide community of physicians who
678
00:33:15,940 --> 00:33:16,940
help each other online.
679
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,800
Yeah. Say hello to Dr. Nelanta
Nanayakara.
680
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,040
He's in Sri Lanka.
681
00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,200
How you doing, Nelanta?
682
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,340
Hello, America!
683
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,680
Now, this is a man with initiative.
684
00:33:30,350 --> 00:33:32,570
This is a man who's ready to run a
practice.
685
00:33:44,930 --> 00:33:45,930
You're good.
686
00:33:47,250 --> 00:33:51,070
Ma, I'm so sorry I ducked out on you
last night.
687
00:33:51,370 --> 00:33:52,370
I just, I know.
688
00:33:53,330 --> 00:33:58,290
Okay. Yeah. Um, I would love to... Oh.
689
00:33:59,050 --> 00:34:00,050
I'll leave you guys alone.
690
00:34:04,290 --> 00:34:05,290
Hey.
691
00:34:07,090 --> 00:34:08,429
I came here to thank you.
692
00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:14,870
Really? My grandfather meant more to me
than anyone in the world.
693
00:34:15,389 --> 00:34:17,210
In a lot of ways, we were best friends.
694
00:34:17,790 --> 00:34:23,330
The fact that he had to hide from me,
well, it was very upsetting.
695
00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:28,090
But to know that he was going to come
out with the truth makes it all better.
696
00:34:28,989 --> 00:34:31,030
But your family's... Oh, they'll be
fine.
697
00:34:31,909 --> 00:34:35,469
I mean, some of them aren't the most
forward -thinking people in the world,
698
00:34:35,469 --> 00:34:37,270
hey, it's their problem.
699
00:34:38,590 --> 00:34:39,969
Well, I'm glad you're not angry with me.
700
00:34:40,429 --> 00:34:41,429
Not at all.
701
00:34:42,830 --> 00:34:47,630
In fact, I know this is going to sound
kind of corny, but I actually feel like
702
00:34:47,630 --> 00:34:48,850
learned something from you and Charlie.
703
00:34:49,989 --> 00:34:50,728
What's that?
704
00:34:50,730 --> 00:34:54,449
That you're better off not hiding who
you are or how you feel, and if you've
705
00:34:54,449 --> 00:34:56,590
something to say, just say it.
706
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,580
You know, Molly, you never struck me as
a person that leaves much unsaid.
707
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:04,080
Oh, Ed, you'd be so surprised.
708
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,000
What do you mean?
709
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:14,840
Well, okay, for starters, I've always
found myself strangely attracted to Karl
710
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:15,840
Malden.
711
00:35:16,140 --> 00:35:17,140
Karl Malden?
712
00:35:17,780 --> 00:35:20,720
Yeah, there's just something about that
nose.
713
00:35:22,220 --> 00:35:23,220
It's big.
714
00:35:24,899 --> 00:35:28,520
You lied to me, Dr. Scotty. You stood
there with a straight face, and you said
715
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,359
you were going to tell Dr.
716
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,500
Jerome you didn't want the practice.
717
00:35:31,100 --> 00:35:33,820
Well, Dr. Mike, do you really think
doctors should always tell the truth?
718
00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:36,920
Yeah, I do. Everyone should tell the
truth. Isn't that like the Third
719
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,540
Commandment or the Sixth Amendment or
something? Doesn't everyone know that
720
00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:40,540
the time they can walk?
721
00:35:40,740 --> 00:35:46,280
So, if you have a patient with a 5 %
chance of survival, but you know that 5
722
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,900
will drop down to 2 % if he loses hope,
you'll still be completely honest with
723
00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:50,900
that patient? Yes.
724
00:35:50,980 --> 00:35:51,980
Huh. Yes.
725
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,400
Well, not necessarily, but what does
that have to do with anything we're
726
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,880
about? Let him off the hook, Dr. Scotty.
727
00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:58,100
What hook?
728
00:35:58,200 --> 00:35:59,980
I'm not really joining this practice.
729
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:05,120
I'm sorry, what? He works for a friend
of mine in Jasper Town. I brought him
730
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,780
down here for a week just to motivate
you, Dr. Burton.
731
00:36:08,420 --> 00:36:09,420
And it worked.
732
00:36:09,740 --> 00:36:12,560
Just look at you, sweating like a monkey
in a steam room.
733
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,900
Wait, wait, wait. So this whole thing,
it's a joke?
734
00:36:16,180 --> 00:36:17,400
It was an act?
735
00:36:17,820 --> 00:36:21,480
The whole Dr. Scotty thing, I have a
tongue delighter? You were just doing a
736
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,500
bit? Faking your whole personality?
737
00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:25,740
No, this is my real personality.
738
00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:28,500
How can you do this, Dr. Jerome?
739
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,080
I don't know, Dr. Burton.
740
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,100
Do you play basketball?
741
00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:34,860
My friends and I have a Thursday night
game.
742
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:38,600
That's great.
743
00:36:39,460 --> 00:36:41,100
So, um, are you still looking for a
house?
744
00:36:41,420 --> 00:36:44,520
I sure am. Because I just happen to know
one that's available.
745
00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:47,049
Charlie's place.
746
00:36:47,050 --> 00:36:50,410
Yeah. I mean, I think it's got
everything that you're looking for,
747
00:36:50,410 --> 00:36:52,130
know, it'd be nice to kind of keep it in
the family.
748
00:36:52,590 --> 00:36:53,549
Right, right.
749
00:36:53,550 --> 00:36:56,130
Well, thanks, Molly. You know, I might
just take you up on that.
750
00:36:57,010 --> 00:36:58,010
Excuse me.
751
00:36:58,110 --> 00:37:00,930
I've got 72 cases of beefaroni for a Mr.
752
00:37:01,170 --> 00:37:02,170
Jerry Stevens.
753
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:13,030
Kenny, come on. What's in?
754
00:37:13,490 --> 00:37:14,530
Sorry, can't help you, ma 'am.
755
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:29,580
Come on, Kenny.
756
00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:32,140
You're going to have to wait. We've got
too many guys right now.
757
00:37:32,620 --> 00:37:33,620
Sorry, honey.
758
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:43,380
Mickey. All right, people. If you are in
this flash zone, now is the time to
759
00:37:43,380 --> 00:37:44,380
cover up.
760
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,120
Featuring guest vocalist, Phil Dunn.
761
00:38:09,460 --> 00:38:10,460
Hi, everyone.
762
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:15,880
Harold.
763
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:29,160
Sometimes I feel like a man without.
764
00:38:31,210 --> 00:38:36,950
Just my guitars and my memory and the
highways that I roam.
765
00:38:37,490 --> 00:38:43,650
But then I do remember a place I called
my home
766
00:38:43,650 --> 00:38:47,790
in a little town called Tuckabell.
767
00:39:49,710 --> 00:39:50,710
I'll be in the vein.
768
00:39:55,890 --> 00:40:01,290
Remember when I said people shouldn't
hide their feelings? I was so wrong.
55577
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