All language subtitles for Ed s01e08 The Whole Truth

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,619 --> 00:00:05,200 Mike, I might alert you to the fact that you're eating your cereal shirtless. 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:06,560 Also, pantless. 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,220 Okay. You have any chance of slipping a tub this morning? 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,480 Relax, Ed. 5 00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:12,480 I like eating breakfast before I get dressed. 6 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,460 Is that right? Until you moved in, I did it all the time. 7 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,660 Now, uh, now you've lived here a few months, I figure you're one of the 8 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,800 Mike? 9 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:21,519 What, honey? 10 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,520 Oh, my God. 11 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,960 You've seen me naked. I'd seen me naked. 12 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,820 It's a big deal. We haven't seen you naked at the same time. 13 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,240 Why should that matter? 14 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,480 Mike, it just does. 15 00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:34,900 Look, you guys, maybe it's time I found my own place. I can only imagine how 16 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:37,600 difficult it must be having a new baby and a house guest at the same time. And 17 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,260 don't want to use your hospitality here, so I got the whole week in here. I 18 00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:41,139 could start looking right away. 19 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:44,320 Ed, don't be ridiculous. We love having you here. That's right, Eddie. 20 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,380 Really. Please, stay as long as you want to. 21 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:51,120 Really? You guys mean that? I mean, that's great, because I got to admit, I 22 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,840 wasn't that eager. Ed, this is the part you're supposed to insist on moving out, 23 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:54,940 no matter how much we protest. 24 00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:02,030 Okay, Mike, Nancy, I'm moving out. 25 00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:03,310 Please stay. 26 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,729 Don't go. 27 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:05,890 I insist. 28 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:07,790 All right. 29 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,110 Okay. 30 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:33,240 by your side watching the wild 31 00:01:58,630 --> 00:02:01,210 Grand new kitchen, washer, dryer, screened -in patio. 32 00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:02,670 What do you think, Ken? 33 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,190 How would you define the word id? 34 00:02:06,490 --> 00:02:07,490 Id? 35 00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:09,110 Well, 36 00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:13,890 it's been a while since I took Psych 101, but I believe Freud said that the 37 00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:17,850 three components of the human psyche were the id, the ego and the superego, 38 00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:22,570 id being the subconscious part that deals with urges and drives, you know, 39 00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:24,470 hunger, and things like that. Why? What are you reading? 40 00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:26,250 The Wizard of Id. 41 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,250 Oh. 42 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:30,100 Good stuff. 43 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,220 Two bedrooms, high ceilings, southern exposure. 44 00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:37,960 I love that show. That moose, he was always up to no good. 45 00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:40,460 Kenny, that was northern exposure. 46 00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:41,860 I don't think so. 47 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:49,180 Bosco, I need your full attention. I have a business proposal. I know all 48 00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:52,420 your business proposal. The answer's still no. I do not want to hold 49 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:55,200 in the basement. Forget about that. This is better. It'll bring in busloads of 50 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,500 customers, and at what cost to us? Say it with me. 51 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,800 Zot. I'm not... What's the idea? 52 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200 Open mic night. 53 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,800 Think about it. Free admission, ten drink minimum. 54 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,080 Okay, eight drink. 55 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,760 No, nine drink. Nine drink. 56 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,580 You really think people would come here and perform? 57 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:15,040 Bosco, of all the golden cabs worshipped in this godless country, none has so 58 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,040 seductive a moo as celebrity. 59 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,660 I mean, take Kenny over there. He's an amateur stand -up comic. 60 00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,060 Kenny? 61 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:26,040 Whenever I'm on an elevator and it's stopping on every floor, I turn to the 62 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,080 next to me and say, What is this, local? 63 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:34,400 He's quirky, he's winning, and Shirley over there. Shirley's no stranger to the 64 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,400 limelight. 65 00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:36,820 Shirley? 66 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:39,840 Once I went to SeaWorld, and the lady at the sea lion show asked for an 67 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,920 assistant, and I got picked, and I stood up in front of everybody, and I fed the 68 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,160 sea lion a fish, and the lady asked me to take a bow, and while I was bowing, 69 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,400 the sea lion bit me in the ASF. 70 00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,460 How about that? 71 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,020 Hey, guys. 72 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:52,940 Well, hey, Molly. Hi. 73 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,940 Um, Ed, I... I need to ask you a favor. 74 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,240 Sure. 75 00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:01,180 So? 76 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,040 It's about my grandfather. 77 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,200 You met him at Thanksgiving. 78 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,420 Actually, I met him way before that. Back when he owned and operated 79 00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:10,339 Pet Shop. 80 00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:11,880 You bought a pet for my grandfather? 81 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:13,400 My first one. A turtle. 82 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,580 Poor little guy choked to death on a jewel. 83 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,200 A jewel? 84 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:18,259 No, a jewel. 85 00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,579 A gum with a squirty stuff inside. 86 00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:21,420 Oh, right, right. 87 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:26,200 The thing is, Ed, Charlie's not doing so well lately. 88 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,020 The doctors say that we might not have him around much longer. 89 00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:31,460 Oh, my. 90 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:32,900 I'm sorry. 91 00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:37,760 He wants to put together... Wow. 92 00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:39,680 It's a little tough to talk about. 93 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:47,560 He wants to put together his will, so I thought maybe if you weren't too busy... 94 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:48,960 Say no more. I'll get right on it. 95 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,500 Great. Great. 96 00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:53,970 And you're going to get a kick out of Charlie. 97 00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:57,950 Just don't let him talk your ear off about his swinging bachelor days. You a 98 00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:58,589 wild man? 99 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:03,190 Oh, Molly, did I ever tell you about the time I nailed the butter -churning lady 100 00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:06,210 at Colonial Williamsburg? Oh, my gosh. I'm looking forward to this already. 101 00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:08,210 Thanks, Ed. 102 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:09,970 It means a lot to me. 103 00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:21,390 Morning, Wendy. 104 00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:25,630 What's so funny? 105 00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:26,770 Oh, nothing, Dr. Burton. 106 00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:29,190 I know, it looks like you're trying to hold back a laugh. 107 00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:33,070 I was just thinking about an old episode of Night Court. 108 00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:34,630 Okay. 109 00:05:43,030 --> 00:05:45,370 Hey, you must be Dr. Burton. 110 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:46,870 Yeah, yeah, I am. Who are you? 111 00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:47,929 Scott Benson. 112 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:48,930 Hey, call me Dr. 113 00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:52,870 Scotty. My patients seem to like the informality. Yeah, it helps me relate to 114 00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:53,819 you. 115 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,840 Why are you seeing my patient, Dr. 116 00:05:56,700 --> 00:06:01,340 Scotty? Well, you were a couple six minutes late, so I thought I'd cover for 117 00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,220 you. Could you pass me the tongue delighters? 118 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,620 Tongue delighters? 119 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:07,160 Well, we don't want to depress our patients now, do we? 120 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,200 Carol! 121 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:16,680 Carol! 122 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,740 Hey! Warren. 123 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,900 Warren, I realize it's Saturday, but weekday rules still apply. That means 124 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:27,440 student, me teacher, you Warren, me Miss Bessie. 125 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:28,960 Oh, I understand. 126 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,600 Because we have to keep up appearances. 127 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,600 Yeah. Sometimes I feel like we're in dangerous liaisons. 128 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:34,860 Hey, Cal. 129 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,360 Ed! 130 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,540 Is this guy bothering you? 131 00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,000 Say the word and I'll throw down. 132 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:40,699 I'm fine. 133 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,639 How you doing? 134 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,160 Hey, can you play that guitar? 135 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,680 Because we're going to have an open mic night at Stucky Bowl. 136 00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:47,820 Are you going to be there? 137 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,440 I might. 138 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,560 All right, thanks, tough guy. 139 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,800 I owe you a solid. Sure. 140 00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:56,680 Hey, peace out. 141 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,079 Goodbye, Warren. 142 00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,080 Bye, Mr. Essie. 143 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,000 Tell us something, huh? 144 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:06,340 Yeah. So, Mike and Nancy finally kicked you out. They didn't kick me out. What 145 00:07:06,340 --> 00:07:09,880 they did was they... Kicked you out? That's right. 146 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,360 Why don't you join me? I could use a woman's perspective. 147 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,339 What do you mean? 148 00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:16,440 You can help me find a happening pet that'll attract a happening lady. 149 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,380 Ah, I have a tip for you. 150 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,280 What's that? Let's go play for the grotto. 151 00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:21,820 Grotto? 152 00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:22,910 You know what I realized? 153 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:25,610 This will be the first time in my life I've lived alone, you know? I mean, 154 00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:27,810 obviously, I grew up with my parents, and then I had roommates all through 155 00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:29,370 college and law school, and then came Liz. 156 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,110 You guys lived together before you were married? 157 00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:32,449 Yep. Yep. 158 00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:34,190 It was just me, Liz, and Chrissy. 159 00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:35,629 Who's Chrissy? 160 00:07:35,630 --> 00:07:38,430 This nutty blonde chick. We had to tell the landlord I was gay. Oh. 161 00:07:38,930 --> 00:07:39,930 It was a mad cat. 162 00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:42,370 Thank you. You're welcome. 163 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,930 Hello. Oh, hi. 164 00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:50,250 I'm Ed Stephens. I'm in the market for a house. Oh, I'm Dana Jarvis. 165 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:51,520 Hi. Let me guess. 166 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,300 Newlyweds. Yes. 167 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:57,380 Yes. Is it really that obvious? We're not married. She's not well. Ed. Yes, 168 00:07:57,380 --> 00:08:00,160 dear? Why don't you tell me what kind of home you're looking for? 169 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:05,020 Mrs. Jarvis, I need you to understand something. I lived in New York City. I 170 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:07,100 have a lot of experience with real estate agents. I know how this works. 171 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,620 And how's that, Mr. Stevens? 172 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,780 Instead of you showing me a place you think I really like, you show me a 173 00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:14,360 bad one. So I lower my expectations, and then you can sell me pretty much 174 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,299 anything. 175 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:16,300 Sound familiar? 176 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,160 Yes. I suppose it does. 177 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,060 Then why don't we save ourselves some time and energy? 178 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,120 Skip the bad house, go straight to the good ones. 179 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:24,700 All right, Mr. Stevens. 180 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,540 By tomorrow morning, I will have a list of wonderful homes to show you. Very 181 00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:30,300 good. Will you be joining us, Mrs. Stevens? 182 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,900 I'm not, Mrs. Stevens. 183 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,320 She was hit on the head with a falling coconut. 184 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,299 Come in. 185 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,920 Dr. Jerome, what's going on? Many things, Dr. 186 00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:48,180 Burton, many things. 187 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:52,370 The universe is expanding, the art of cinema is dying, and my daughter Melissa 188 00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:53,530 is marrying a Moroccan. 189 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,310 The man wears a fez. 190 00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:59,630 What's the new doctor doing here? Oh, yes, Dr. Scotty. I've invited him to 191 00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:00,409 the practice. 192 00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:01,410 Why? 193 00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:05,570 We don't need another doctor. You and I can handle all the patients, Dr. Jerome. 194 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,410 Dr. Burton, take my hand. 195 00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:13,790 Feel it. 196 00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:19,240 What was once a limber, supple instrument of healing... now grows 197 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,380 leathery, and stiff. 198 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,300 My day of retirement looms ever closer, and I want to make sure that this 199 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,440 practice is left in the right hands. 200 00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:31,200 But when I took this job, Dr. Drum, it was the understanding that you'd leave 201 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,199 the practice to me. 202 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,880 You, Dr. Burton, are what was known in the grunge rock era of the early 90s as 203 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:41,520 slacker. Really? So I believe I owe it to my patients to see if Dr. Scotty can 204 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,520 do better. 205 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,670 Thanks for the chat. 206 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:04,350 Oh, I was expecting the Indian food guy. 207 00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:06,330 Oh, sorry. It's me, Ed Stevens. 208 00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:09,090 Molly said... Oh, yes, yes, yes. 209 00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:12,410 You like Indian food, don't you, Jerry? 210 00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:15,530 Ed, actually. I'll be calling you Jerry. 211 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,340 It's more fun to say. Come inside. 212 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,160 Well, do you like the samosas, Jerry? 213 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,800 The pakoras? The lamb biryani? 214 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,580 The onion kurcha? Sure. 215 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:32,420 Do you like tandoori chicken? 216 00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,420 Tandoori chicken? 217 00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:37,580 It's tasty. 218 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,440 All right, sit down. Sit over there. 219 00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:44,900 Well, at first I wasn't sure about the whole... 220 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,780 bowling alley lawyer thing. 221 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:50,980 But then I figured, it's only my last will and testament. 222 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,280 Don't worry, Mr. Hudson. I promise I will do as good. I know you will, Jerry. 223 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,380 Well, let's get down to it. 224 00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:57,860 Sure. Yes. 225 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,220 Well, there are lots of options when it comes to drawing up a will. 226 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:07,440 The point is, of course, to minimize the tax burdens. So just take all my stuff 227 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,040 and divvy it up among my survivors. 228 00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:10,380 Okay. 229 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,880 Okay. And who might those survivors be? 230 00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,220 My son. 231 00:11:14,430 --> 00:11:17,150 Daughter -in -law, one niece, two nephews. 232 00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:18,890 Molly, of course. 233 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,610 Say, do you like beefaroni? 234 00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:28,290 Yeah. I bought a couple dozen cases of the stuff in preparation for Y2K. 235 00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:30,010 I'm leaving it all to you. 236 00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,270 Oh, thanks. 237 00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:33,270 Thanks. 238 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:36,150 Is there anyone else we might be missing? 239 00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:37,690 Ron. 240 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,270 Ron. And he would be? My lover. 241 00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:41,810 Hmm? 242 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,580 Wait till you taste this chicken vindaloo. 243 00:11:56,540 --> 00:12:03,200 Can I bounce a joke off you, Chief? 244 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:04,680 Oh, yeah, I can. 245 00:12:05,140 --> 00:12:06,220 Open mic night? Absolutely. 246 00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:10,220 Jewish astronaut. 247 00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:14,120 Comes back from a month -long space shuttle mission where he orbits the 248 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:18,340 every four hours. A reporter asked him, how do you feel? He says, I'm exhausted. 249 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:22,160 Do you know how many times I had to say Chakras, Mirka, and Mariv? 250 00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:24,180 What does that even mean? 251 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,299 Something hilarious. 252 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,199 Where'd you get that joke? 253 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,200 Made it up, Kenny. 254 00:12:29,340 --> 00:12:32,940 Kenny, just a thought, but maybe you might want to think about taking your 255 00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:34,840 in a less Hebraic direction. 256 00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:36,820 Thanks, Chief. 257 00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,540 You're a great sounding board. 258 00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:39,780 My pleasure. 259 00:12:40,689 --> 00:12:41,689 Hi, Ed. 260 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:42,970 Oh, hey. Hi, Molly. 261 00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,029 How are you? 262 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:47,450 Good. Good. What you doing? I'm working on Charlie's will. I saw him yesterday. 263 00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:48,670 Yeah, he told me. 264 00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:49,930 He liked you. 265 00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,290 So, how'd it go from your side? 266 00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,150 Good. Good. 267 00:12:55,950 --> 00:12:56,950 I'd say it went pretty well. 268 00:12:57,530 --> 00:12:58,530 Good. 269 00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:01,050 They moved him into the hospital this morning. 270 00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:06,510 Really? Why? He seemed fine. Oh, Charlie puts up a good friend. He just doesn't 271 00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:07,730 want anybody to feel sorry for him. 272 00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:09,550 Right. 273 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:16,300 Hey, Molly, did Charlie ever tell you a surprising personal fact about himself? 274 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,200 What do you mean? 275 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:24,460 Well, you know, a fact about himself, a personal one, that when he told you, you 276 00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:25,460 were surprised. 277 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,580 Thanks for the clarification. 278 00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:34,040 Oh, okay. In 1952, he was hitchhiking and got picked up by Zeppa Marks. 279 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,200 That wasn't it. 280 00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:38,910 Look, that was it. That was it. I know. When you told me that, I was bowled 281 00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:42,970 over. I mean, of all the Mars brothers to be picked up by... You get picked up 282 00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:45,590 by Zepo, that's... Is everything okay? Yeah, it's fine. 283 00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:53,210 Phil! Pretty sweet, huh? Phil, we do not want you gonging the performers. 284 00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:57,650 Fine, fine. We'll just move on to plan B. No giant hooks, either. 285 00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:02,570 Right down here, Mr. Harris. 286 00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:03,890 Mrs. Andrews. 287 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,160 I have your test results. 288 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,900 And? We seem to have caught it just in time. 289 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,620 You're going to be fine, Mrs. 290 00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,360 Andrews. You're going to live a long and healthy life. 291 00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:13,660 Oh, thank God. 292 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,200 Oh, thank you, Dr. 293 00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:18,740 Scott. Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Don't be silly. 294 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,020 Have a lollipop. 295 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,120 Oh, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm happy for you, Mrs. 296 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:25,480 Andrews. 297 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,780 This is exciting. 298 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,320 I'm going to have my own garage. I'm going to have my own backyard. 299 00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:34,310 I'm out in the fireplace. Hey, Carol, what's your take on bearskin rugs? 300 00:14:34,530 --> 00:14:35,670 I think they look good on bears. 301 00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:38,370 All right, kids, here we are. 302 00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,270 The perfect place for the two of you to start a family. 303 00:14:41,910 --> 00:14:42,829 Okay, Mrs. 304 00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:46,890 Jarvis. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 305 00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,110 I thought you said we were going to skip the part where you showed me the bad 306 00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:51,150 house. We did. 307 00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:53,310 This is obviously the bad house. 308 00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:55,930 No, it's not. 309 00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:56,989 Prove it. 310 00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,510 What do you mean? Take me to a place on your list that's worse than this house. 311 00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,150 If you can't, I'm getting a new realtor. 312 00:15:01,390 --> 00:15:02,850 Mr. Stevens. Right now. 313 00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:04,290 Let's go. 314 00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:05,430 Honey? 315 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,530 Honey? 316 00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,850 Well, Mr. Harris, I've got excellent news. 317 00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,350 What's that? 318 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:17,730 Taking several weeks of treatment. I'm happy to tell you that your athlete's 319 00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:18,730 foot has been cured. 320 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,090 Oh. Good. 321 00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:23,850 Oh, yes, Mr. Harris. I have eradicated your athlete's foot. 322 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,220 Goodbye itching, goodbye redness, goodbye cracked skin. 323 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,480 You, sir, are going to live a long and healthy life. 324 00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:32,900 Why are you shouting? 325 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,840 All right, there you are. What did I tell you? 326 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,800 Miss Jarvis, this house is much nicer than the one we just saw. 327 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,040 No, it's not. 328 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:41,300 It's awful. 329 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,520 Just listen. 330 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,560 To what? 331 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,340 Train. There's no train. And just look at those windows. 332 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:50,300 What's wrong with them? 333 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:53,840 The windows and the door make the eyes and the mouth of a mean face. 334 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,580 Hey, she's right. 335 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,920 Ms. Jarvis, you are no longer my real estate agent. 336 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,640 Let's go, Carol. 337 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,599 Smell that? 338 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,580 We're right downwind of a glue factory. 339 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:10,260 Honey, you know, I just don't get it. He told you two years ago that you'd 340 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,640 inherit the practice. I know. 341 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,020 I know. It's ridiculous. 342 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,420 But what can I do? Well, I think you should talk to him. 343 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,960 The last time I tried talking to him, he tore me a new ax. 344 00:16:21,010 --> 00:16:22,010 Tushy. 345 00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:23,430 Tore me a new tushy. 346 00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:27,130 Why don't you explain your situation to Dr. Scotty? He might not even realize 347 00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:28,170 that he's stealing your job. 348 00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:30,089 That's true. 349 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,010 Hey, guys. Hey, Edward. 350 00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:34,330 So, how's the house hunting going? 351 00:16:34,630 --> 00:16:37,590 Oh, it's great. I'll have a house in no time. We have yet to set foot inside the 352 00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:38,590 house. 353 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,890 Hey, Ed, ten bucks if you give your order to the waitress and rhyme. 354 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:43,410 Oh, God. 355 00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:46,950 What can I get you folks? 356 00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:49,130 Ed, why don't you go ahead and get us started? 357 00:16:49,730 --> 00:16:50,730 Okay. 358 00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:54,510 What beverage will I have? Let's see. 359 00:16:55,650 --> 00:16:57,950 How about a frosty glass of your iced tea? 360 00:16:58,370 --> 00:17:03,150 And then, to start, for my appetizer, I would like the gravy fries. 361 00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:07,290 Or maybe I'll have my fries with cheese, yes. 362 00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:09,430 I'll change my order, if you please. 363 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:14,430 And after that, well, for my main course, I will have the tuna melt, of 364 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,869 Ed, you can't rhyme course with course. 365 00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:23,670 And perhaps a side of horse. 366 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,470 A side of horse. 367 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:33,070 Okay. Dr. Roberts, Dr. P .D. Roberts, please call 301. 368 00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:38,190 Dr. Roberts, call 301. Molly, I really wish you'd stop bringing me presents. I 369 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,970 don't like you spending your money on me. 370 00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:41,470 Grandpa, I think you're forgetting something. 371 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:42,830 I'm a high school teacher. 372 00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:46,170 I am rich beyond your wildest imagination. Oh, yeah. 373 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:47,650 I'll bet. 374 00:17:48,070 --> 00:17:51,030 Well, what have we here? Oh, look at this. 375 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,500 A brand new photo album. You like it? 376 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,060 Look at this. What a coincidence. 377 00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,600 It came filled with photos of me and my family. 378 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,540 What are the odds of that, Molly? 379 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,980 It's like an episode out of Twilight Zone. 380 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,560 New Year's Day, 1965. 381 00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:08,860 Look at your grandmother. 382 00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,000 Just like you. 383 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:16,480 Except for that god -awful beehive hairdo. Did I ever tell you about the 384 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,179 caught fire? 385 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,180 Yes, sir, you did. 386 00:18:19,919 --> 00:18:21,700 Oh, God, I miss her. 387 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,540 You know, Molly, life's a lot more fun if you've got someone to share it with. 388 00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:31,160 Yeah, well, it's finding that right someone that's the tough part. 389 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,040 The way you talk about that Ed Stevens, I figured maybe you had. 390 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,300 Grandpa. 391 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:39,040 Molly, have you ever been able to keep a secret from me? 392 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:43,760 There are no secrets between Molly and Charlie Hudson. 393 00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:46,060 Yes. 394 00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:47,540 What's the matter? 395 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:48,860 Ah, Carol! 396 00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:52,110 Hi. Come on. 397 00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:54,010 And Jerry. 398 00:18:54,370 --> 00:18:55,590 Oh, my God. 399 00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:58,530 A lawyer in a bowling shirt. 400 00:18:59,210 --> 00:19:00,650 The world's gone to hell. 401 00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:04,890 I brought you some cupcakes, but maybe... No, no, no, no. Just plop them 402 00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:06,090 IV bag. They'll dissolve. 403 00:19:07,290 --> 00:19:10,470 How are you feeling? Is there anything we can do for you? No, no, no. I'm 404 00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:11,550 perfectly fine. 405 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,019 Right then. 406 00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:17,280 Listen, why don't you girls give me and Jerry just a couple of minutes to talk, 407 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:18,380 huh? Okay. 408 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,060 See you later, then. 409 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,200 Well, 410 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,120 this will be quick, Mr. Hudson. 411 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:28,020 Just have you initial every page where there's an X, and then sign at the end, 412 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,280 and I'll be your witness. 413 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,160 I suppose you've been wondering about me and Ron. 414 00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:36,360 I can assure you, Mr. Hudson, I have no problem with that. 415 00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:38,840 It took me a long time to get used to it, I can tell you. 416 00:19:40,399 --> 00:19:44,800 I was a world -class skirt chaser until my wife Eileen came along. Is that 417 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,180 right? Married 35 years. 418 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,700 Loved her with all my heart. 419 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,840 When she passed, I was lost. 420 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,920 Then one day, I'm having a beer over at the Smiling Goat, and Ron walks in. 421 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,780 Pulls up a stool, we get to talking. Turns out, he's a widower, too. 422 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,420 We start spending some time together. 423 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,580 You know, fishing, playing cards, that kind of thing. 424 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:10,370 And then out of a clear blue sky, it just happened. 425 00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:13,290 Damnedest thing, ain't it? 426 00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:16,330 I suppose that qualifies as the damnedest. 427 00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:20,690 And Charlie certainly did go on well. 428 00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,270 Ah, yeah. 429 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,150 Yeah, it's nice. 430 00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:28,350 So what about you and Ed? I mean, what's the deal? 431 00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:29,610 What deal? 432 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:34,570 Well, you're picking pumpkins on Thanksgiving and you're house hunting 433 00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:35,990 That deal. 434 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,540 We're just hanging out. 435 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:38,940 There is no deal. 436 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:44,220 Right. Miles, look, I know it's hard to believe, but we've actually settled into 437 00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:47,320 a very comfortable relationship just as friends. 438 00:20:48,220 --> 00:20:53,620 So you have no interest whatsoever in pursuing a romantic relationship with 439 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:54,620 Edward J. Stevens? 440 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,100 Absolutely not. 441 00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:00,940 Why? 442 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,420 I'm just curious. 443 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,510 Yeah. Well, now that you've satisfied my curiosity, let's just talk about 444 00:21:06,510 --> 00:21:09,090 something else. Let's, you know, like Sherbert. 445 00:21:10,390 --> 00:21:14,710 Sherbert? Have you ever noticed that people actually pronounce it Sherbert? 446 00:21:14,910 --> 00:21:16,790 But it's not. You know, it's Sherbert. 447 00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:18,090 No second R. 448 00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:19,770 No second R. 449 00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,250 One of those things. 450 00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:25,350 Jerry, you're the only one in the world who knows about me and Ron. 451 00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:28,230 Except Ron, of course. I think he has a hunch. 452 00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:35,790 The fact is, there are people in my family who just wouldn't accept it. You 453 00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:38,010 don't have to worry about me, Mr. Hudson. Anything you tell me stays in 454 00:21:38,010 --> 00:21:40,170 room. My son George, for example. 455 00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:41,830 A real man's man. 456 00:21:42,330 --> 00:21:43,330 Just like his pop. 457 00:21:44,630 --> 00:21:47,370 If he knew about Ron, he'd never look at me the same way again. 458 00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:48,930 I understand. 459 00:21:49,190 --> 00:21:53,370 So, here's the question I ask myself a thousand times a day. 460 00:21:54,670 --> 00:21:58,230 Should I take my little secret to the grave, or should I tell everybody? 461 00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:00,860 Consequences be damned. 462 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,640 You're, um... You're asking my opinion? 463 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,160 No, I'm asking the Sheik of Araby. 464 00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:13,920 Ah. Well, it's a personal decision, of course, Mr. Hudson, but... I'd say you 465 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,920 have a right to your privacy. 466 00:22:15,340 --> 00:22:19,660 Yes, I know that, Jerry, but I... I've also got the right to pass on without 467 00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:21,740 feeling like I had something to hide. 468 00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:26,100 God, it'd be great to just go ahead and tell him and be done with it. 469 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,680 Then maybe you should. 470 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:31,760 Maybe I should. 471 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:34,980 Jerry, I'm going to do it. 472 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,580 Would you arrange a family gathering for me? 473 00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:41,780 Of course. 474 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:42,860 Thank you. 475 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,760 Dr. Scott, do you mind if I talk to you for a second? Yeah, sure thing, Dr. 476 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:49,900 Mike. 477 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,320 It's a plan Mike will do. Oh, trust me on this one. It'll double your tips. 478 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,520 Look, here's the story. 479 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,480 I've been working for Dr. Jerome for two years. 480 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,120 And to tell you the truth, sometimes the guy can be a bit cranky. 481 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:07,700 What's kept me sane these past 24 months is the knowledge that when he retires, 482 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:14,200 I take over the practice. Now, Dr. Scotty, I don't know where you came 483 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,780 you are, or what you want, but I'm asking for your sympathy. 484 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:22,280 Don't take this away from me. Tell Dr. Jerome you don't want the practice. 485 00:23:22,620 --> 00:23:23,620 No problem. 486 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,640 Consider it done. 487 00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:28,720 Really. Yeah. Look, if I'd known I was going to be stepping on toes, I never 488 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,240 would have taken this job in the first place. 489 00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:34,940 Well, you're a decent guy, Dr. Scottie. Thank you. You know, my good friends 490 00:23:34,940 --> 00:23:35,559 call me Dr. 491 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,100 Scottay. All right, well, try me again when I'm drunk. 492 00:23:38,340 --> 00:23:39,520 You got it. Yeah. 493 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:43,620 Okay, Leonard, we look forward to seeing you Friday night. Just a reminder, the 494 00:23:43,620 --> 00:23:47,100 pigeons need to be housed. We cannot provide housing for the pigeons. 495 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,499 Next, please. 496 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:49,379 Your name? 497 00:23:49,380 --> 00:23:51,260 Godfrey Clemens. And what is that? 498 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,489 A lute. 499 00:23:52,490 --> 00:23:56,150 Okay, are you like a hobbit or something? This is an upscale evening of 500 00:23:56,150 --> 00:23:57,150 entertainment. 501 00:23:57,730 --> 00:23:58,830 We're going to have to pass. 502 00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:00,530 But it's just an open mic night. 503 00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:02,750 That's right, and Broadway is just a street. 504 00:24:04,050 --> 00:24:05,050 Next, please. 505 00:24:06,930 --> 00:24:07,930 Warren Cheswick. 506 00:24:08,070 --> 00:24:10,070 That is a hot stage name. What's your real name? 507 00:24:10,270 --> 00:24:11,330 Warren Cheswick. 508 00:24:11,990 --> 00:24:14,410 Finally, someone with a sense of showmanship. 509 00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:17,370 I've got a band, the Warren Cheswick Experience. 510 00:24:18,130 --> 00:24:19,530 That is so original. 511 00:24:20,130 --> 00:24:21,130 Thanks. 512 00:24:21,290 --> 00:24:23,230 I'll allow you to perform under one condition. 513 00:24:24,490 --> 00:24:25,490 Righteous. 514 00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:26,790 Yeah, sure, anything. 515 00:24:27,150 --> 00:24:28,150 I sing lead. 516 00:24:34,230 --> 00:24:35,750 Hi, Mai. Hi, Ed. 517 00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:37,910 This is my dad, George. 518 00:24:38,130 --> 00:24:38,929 Hi, George. 519 00:24:38,930 --> 00:24:39,930 And my mom, Helen. 520 00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:41,510 Hello. This is Ed Stephens. 521 00:24:42,050 --> 00:24:45,250 We're worried, Mr. Stephens. Could you give us some idea what this is about? 522 00:24:45,530 --> 00:24:48,490 I'm afraid I can't, Mrs. Hudson. Don't tell me. He's banging a nurse. 523 00:24:48,910 --> 00:24:52,410 I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but... What is it? 524 00:24:52,690 --> 00:24:54,310 Mr. Hudson just passed away. 525 00:24:55,770 --> 00:24:56,890 Oh, no. 526 00:24:57,430 --> 00:24:58,430 Oh, honey. 527 00:25:05,790 --> 00:25:08,510 Mark calling Orson. Mark calling Orson. 528 00:25:08,790 --> 00:25:10,070 Come in, laser breath. 529 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:13,370 Yes, Mark. This is Orson. 530 00:25:13,670 --> 00:25:15,830 What have you learned this week? 531 00:25:16,230 --> 00:25:19,530 Well... I experienced a strange new emotion. 532 00:25:20,210 --> 00:25:22,490 Here on Earth, they call it love. 533 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:25,290 It's good. 534 00:25:26,030 --> 00:25:29,490 You know, you might want to dial down that morph factor just a tad. 535 00:25:29,850 --> 00:25:30,850 Gotcha. 536 00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:33,490 Hey, Bosco, nice suit. 537 00:25:33,690 --> 00:25:34,830 You're going to a funeral. 538 00:25:35,130 --> 00:25:36,190 Phil, I am going to a funeral. 539 00:25:37,650 --> 00:25:38,650 Oh. 540 00:25:41,050 --> 00:25:42,050 Carol. 541 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:45,070 I'm facing an ethical dilemma. 542 00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:46,750 What's that? 543 00:25:47,180 --> 00:25:50,200 Suppose somebody had a secret, and they wanted to tell the secret, but for some 544 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,740 reason they couldn't, and you're the only other person that knows about the 545 00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:56,580 secret. So now the only way it gets told is if you tell it, but A, it's not your 546 00:25:56,580 --> 00:25:57,580 secret to tell, and B, 547 00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,720 there's certain people who'd rather not hear about it. 548 00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:03,980 Who has the secret? I can't tell you that. Ed. What? If you want my help, 549 00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:04,980 really going to have to be more specific. 550 00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:07,460 Look, but if I tell you this thing, then you have to promise that it stays 551 00:26:07,460 --> 00:26:08,460 strictly between us. 552 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,459 Okay. Forever. 553 00:26:09,460 --> 00:26:11,100 Okay. Charlie Hudson was gay. 554 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,480 What? 555 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,240 No way. 556 00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:16,480 What about Molly's grandmother? 557 00:26:17,020 --> 00:26:20,520 What about the time he nailed the butter -churning lady in Colonial 558 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:25,340 Williamsburg? It's a long story, but basically, he's been in a relationship 559 00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:28,180 this guy named Ron for a few years now, and he wanted to tell his family. He 560 00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:30,320 just died before he got the chance. 561 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,520 Wow. Yeah. 562 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,120 Does Molly know? 563 00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:36,300 No. Nobody does. 564 00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:39,100 So what do I do now? 565 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,660 You're sure he wanted everyone to know? He told me so himself. 566 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,040 Well, then, I guess... I guess you have an announcement to make. 567 00:26:50,180 --> 00:26:51,180 Yeah. 568 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:53,520 Yeah. 569 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,120 Maybe we could just flip for it. You know, heads I tell it, tails you tell 570 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,480 What do you think about that? Or straws. We could draw straws. Straws. Do you 571 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,820 have any straws in you? No. Oh, 572 00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:07,500 George. 573 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:09,820 Everybody's being so wonderful. 574 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,820 Your father had so many people who loved him. 575 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,320 Yeah. 576 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:21,980 Hi, guys. 577 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,520 Hey, Molly. 578 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:24,900 Thanks for coming. 579 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:30,380 You can, um, you can just leave your coats over there. 580 00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:33,920 Miles, I'm so sorry. 581 00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:35,260 Thanks. 582 00:27:40,060 --> 00:27:41,220 He's a terrific guy. 583 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,280 Yeah. 584 00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:45,020 Yeah, he was. 585 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:51,320 You know, Ed, I don't want to waste any more of your time with the will, so I 586 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,060 was thinking that we could just do the reading tonight at the reception. 587 00:27:55,580 --> 00:27:56,580 Well, there's no hurry. 588 00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:59,660 In fact, the will isn't officially filed yet. 589 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:01,960 So we could wait. 590 00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:05,060 Yeah, we better do it tonight before everyone leaves town. 591 00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:07,660 Okay. Okay. 592 00:28:23,690 --> 00:28:24,690 Excuse me. 593 00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:26,770 Did you by any chance know Mr. Hudson? 594 00:28:27,870 --> 00:28:29,890 Of course you know him, otherwise you probably wouldn't be here. 595 00:28:30,590 --> 00:28:31,590 But... Sorry. 596 00:28:31,770 --> 00:28:32,770 Do I know you? 597 00:28:33,050 --> 00:28:34,610 I'm Ed Stephens, Mr. Hudson's attorney. 598 00:28:36,190 --> 00:28:37,190 Ron Jeffries. 599 00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:38,550 Friend. 600 00:28:39,070 --> 00:28:40,070 That's what I guessed. 601 00:28:41,090 --> 00:28:42,090 Guess what? 602 00:28:42,690 --> 00:28:43,690 That you were a friend. 603 00:28:44,350 --> 00:28:45,350 Or a business partner. 604 00:28:45,690 --> 00:28:46,690 Oh. 605 00:28:47,090 --> 00:28:48,090 Or something else. 606 00:28:50,810 --> 00:28:52,170 Maybe a war buddy. 607 00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:54,860 Perhaps you played together in a high school band. 608 00:28:55,100 --> 00:28:58,600 He was first trombone, you were second trombone. Not to imply anything about 609 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,020 your relative trombone -playing abilities. 610 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,340 You could have been first trombone. He told you? 611 00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:05,660 Yes. 612 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:11,280 Ron, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Did he tell anyone else? 613 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,060 No. Good. 614 00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:14,800 Nice to meet you, Ed. 615 00:29:22,570 --> 00:29:26,610 Excuse me. Ron, I'm sorry. There's something I really need to discuss with 616 00:29:26,770 --> 00:29:27,770 What's that? 617 00:29:28,370 --> 00:29:32,570 Right before Charlie died, he was planning on telling his family about 618 00:29:32,570 --> 00:29:33,570 relationship. 619 00:29:34,730 --> 00:29:41,590 Now that he's gone, I was considering telling them myself. I thought 620 00:29:41,590 --> 00:29:44,450 it might make more sense coming from you. 621 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:50,570 Ed, do you know how hard it is to have to hide the fact that you love somebody? 622 00:29:53,439 --> 00:29:58,500 No, sir. I guess I really don't. I wanted to tell my family about me and 623 00:29:58,500 --> 00:29:59,500 Charlie. 624 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:01,340 For years. 625 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,260 I just couldn't bring myself to do it. 626 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:07,440 Call me a coward. 627 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:08,880 Sir, I don't think you're a coward. 628 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,260 If Charlie wants his people to know, I say, go ahead. 629 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:14,980 Tell them. 630 00:30:15,700 --> 00:30:16,940 But I can't be there. 631 00:30:18,620 --> 00:30:20,480 I'm sorry. I just can't be there. 632 00:30:34,570 --> 00:30:35,509 Yeah, boys. 633 00:30:35,510 --> 00:30:37,910 We blew the roof off that mother. 634 00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:39,810 Something like that. 635 00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:41,990 All right, let's do it again. One more time. Harold. 636 00:30:42,610 --> 00:30:43,610 No. 637 00:30:46,830 --> 00:30:52,570 I refuse to waste another nanosecond of my life learning a song, and I use that 638 00:30:52,570 --> 00:30:55,930 term loosely, written by a bowling alley shoe guy. 639 00:30:56,330 --> 00:30:59,410 Come on, Gavin. This is our first public performance. 640 00:30:59,910 --> 00:31:02,010 You think a little group called The Beatles? 641 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,400 Ever hit the stage before they were ready? 642 00:31:04,620 --> 00:31:09,140 The only reason I'm in this group is that you swore to me that we'd never 643 00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:10,900 compromise our creative vision. 644 00:31:11,140 --> 00:31:14,660 No, Gavin, the only reason you're in this group is because you got a Casio 645 00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:15,660 for your bar mitzvah. 646 00:31:17,700 --> 00:31:18,700 Harold! 647 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:25,620 Before we begin the actual reading of the will, I have an announcement to 648 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,500 I didn't know Charlie Hudson very long. 649 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,120 A few days, in fact. 650 00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:37,130 But... In that short time, I came to realize that he was a... a special guy. 651 00:31:37,630 --> 00:31:38,630 Here, here. 652 00:31:40,070 --> 00:31:41,070 Caring. 653 00:31:41,370 --> 00:31:42,770 Loving. Brave. 654 00:31:43,010 --> 00:31:44,010 And funny. 655 00:31:44,630 --> 00:31:45,630 And handsome. 656 00:31:46,970 --> 00:31:47,970 Gay. 657 00:31:49,930 --> 00:31:51,070 So on to the will. 658 00:31:51,570 --> 00:31:54,890 I, Charles Hudson, being of sound mind... Son? 659 00:31:55,170 --> 00:31:58,350 Mm -hmm? Would you mind repeating that last bit of business? 660 00:31:59,970 --> 00:32:00,970 Sorry. 661 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:06,760 Your father wanted you to know that he was a gay, a homosexual. 662 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:15,040 And he intended to tell you himself, but he... So that left me. 663 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:21,360 Questions? Comments? 664 00:32:27,740 --> 00:32:28,740 Hello, 665 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,360 everybody. 666 00:32:31,340 --> 00:32:33,740 I'm Ron Jeffries, Charlie's partner. 667 00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:39,400 Well, I see you brought a meatloaf. 668 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,500 It's a Cajun meatloaf. 669 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,260 Dr. Jerome, I have here a project I've been working on in my spare time as a 670 00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:54,820 gesture of goodwill. 671 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,320 It's a cross -reference study of every patient in the history of your 38 years 672 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:00,700 practicing medicine in Stuckyville. 673 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:05,020 Yeah, yeah. By looking at these files, you can learn how illnesses spread 674 00:33:05,020 --> 00:33:08,000 throughout the community, success rates of various forms of treatment. Dr. 675 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:09,780 Jerome? I'm sorry, Dr. 676 00:33:09,980 --> 00:33:11,020 Burton. I'm a bit distracted. 677 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,940 Dr. Scotty here connected my computer to a worldwide community of physicians who 678 00:33:15,940 --> 00:33:16,940 help each other online. 679 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,800 Yeah. Say hello to Dr. Nelanta Nanayakara. 680 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,040 He's in Sri Lanka. 681 00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,200 How you doing, Nelanta? 682 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,340 Hello, America! 683 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,680 Now, this is a man with initiative. 684 00:33:30,350 --> 00:33:32,570 This is a man who's ready to run a practice. 685 00:33:44,930 --> 00:33:45,930 You're good. 686 00:33:47,250 --> 00:33:51,070 Ma, I'm so sorry I ducked out on you last night. 687 00:33:51,370 --> 00:33:52,370 I just, I know. 688 00:33:53,330 --> 00:33:58,290 Okay. Yeah. Um, I would love to... Oh. 689 00:33:59,050 --> 00:34:00,050 I'll leave you guys alone. 690 00:34:04,290 --> 00:34:05,290 Hey. 691 00:34:07,090 --> 00:34:08,429 I came here to thank you. 692 00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:14,870 Really? My grandfather meant more to me than anyone in the world. 693 00:34:15,389 --> 00:34:17,210 In a lot of ways, we were best friends. 694 00:34:17,790 --> 00:34:23,330 The fact that he had to hide from me, well, it was very upsetting. 695 00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:28,090 But to know that he was going to come out with the truth makes it all better. 696 00:34:28,989 --> 00:34:31,030 But your family's... Oh, they'll be fine. 697 00:34:31,909 --> 00:34:35,469 I mean, some of them aren't the most forward -thinking people in the world, 698 00:34:35,469 --> 00:34:37,270 hey, it's their problem. 699 00:34:38,590 --> 00:34:39,969 Well, I'm glad you're not angry with me. 700 00:34:40,429 --> 00:34:41,429 Not at all. 701 00:34:42,830 --> 00:34:47,630 In fact, I know this is going to sound kind of corny, but I actually feel like 702 00:34:47,630 --> 00:34:48,850 learned something from you and Charlie. 703 00:34:49,989 --> 00:34:50,728 What's that? 704 00:34:50,730 --> 00:34:54,449 That you're better off not hiding who you are or how you feel, and if you've 705 00:34:54,449 --> 00:34:56,590 something to say, just say it. 706 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,580 You know, Molly, you never struck me as a person that leaves much unsaid. 707 00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:04,080 Oh, Ed, you'd be so surprised. 708 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,000 What do you mean? 709 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:14,840 Well, okay, for starters, I've always found myself strangely attracted to Karl 710 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:15,840 Malden. 711 00:35:16,140 --> 00:35:17,140 Karl Malden? 712 00:35:17,780 --> 00:35:20,720 Yeah, there's just something about that nose. 713 00:35:22,220 --> 00:35:23,220 It's big. 714 00:35:24,899 --> 00:35:28,520 You lied to me, Dr. Scotty. You stood there with a straight face, and you said 715 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,359 you were going to tell Dr. 716 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,500 Jerome you didn't want the practice. 717 00:35:31,100 --> 00:35:33,820 Well, Dr. Mike, do you really think doctors should always tell the truth? 718 00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:36,920 Yeah, I do. Everyone should tell the truth. Isn't that like the Third 719 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,540 Commandment or the Sixth Amendment or something? Doesn't everyone know that 720 00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:40,540 the time they can walk? 721 00:35:40,740 --> 00:35:46,280 So, if you have a patient with a 5 % chance of survival, but you know that 5 722 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,900 will drop down to 2 % if he loses hope, you'll still be completely honest with 723 00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:50,900 that patient? Yes. 724 00:35:50,980 --> 00:35:51,980 Huh. Yes. 725 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,400 Well, not necessarily, but what does that have to do with anything we're 726 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,880 about? Let him off the hook, Dr. Scotty. 727 00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:58,100 What hook? 728 00:35:58,200 --> 00:35:59,980 I'm not really joining this practice. 729 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:05,120 I'm sorry, what? He works for a friend of mine in Jasper Town. I brought him 730 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,780 down here for a week just to motivate you, Dr. Burton. 731 00:36:08,420 --> 00:36:09,420 And it worked. 732 00:36:09,740 --> 00:36:12,560 Just look at you, sweating like a monkey in a steam room. 733 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,900 Wait, wait, wait. So this whole thing, it's a joke? 734 00:36:16,180 --> 00:36:17,400 It was an act? 735 00:36:17,820 --> 00:36:21,480 The whole Dr. Scotty thing, I have a tongue delighter? You were just doing a 736 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,500 bit? Faking your whole personality? 737 00:36:23,820 --> 00:36:25,740 No, this is my real personality. 738 00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:28,500 How can you do this, Dr. Jerome? 739 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,080 I don't know, Dr. Burton. 740 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,100 Do you play basketball? 741 00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:34,860 My friends and I have a Thursday night game. 742 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:38,600 That's great. 743 00:36:39,460 --> 00:36:41,100 So, um, are you still looking for a house? 744 00:36:41,420 --> 00:36:44,520 I sure am. Because I just happen to know one that's available. 745 00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:47,049 Charlie's place. 746 00:36:47,050 --> 00:36:50,410 Yeah. I mean, I think it's got everything that you're looking for, 747 00:36:50,410 --> 00:36:52,130 know, it'd be nice to kind of keep it in the family. 748 00:36:52,590 --> 00:36:53,549 Right, right. 749 00:36:53,550 --> 00:36:56,130 Well, thanks, Molly. You know, I might just take you up on that. 750 00:36:57,010 --> 00:36:58,010 Excuse me. 751 00:36:58,110 --> 00:37:00,930 I've got 72 cases of beefaroni for a Mr. 752 00:37:01,170 --> 00:37:02,170 Jerry Stevens. 753 00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:13,030 Kenny, come on. What's in? 754 00:37:13,490 --> 00:37:14,530 Sorry, can't help you, ma 'am. 755 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:29,580 Come on, Kenny. 756 00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:32,140 You're going to have to wait. We've got too many guys right now. 757 00:37:32,620 --> 00:37:33,620 Sorry, honey. 758 00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:43,380 Mickey. All right, people. If you are in this flash zone, now is the time to 759 00:37:43,380 --> 00:37:44,380 cover up. 760 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,120 Featuring guest vocalist, Phil Dunn. 761 00:38:09,460 --> 00:38:10,460 Hi, everyone. 762 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:15,880 Harold. 763 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:29,160 Sometimes I feel like a man without. 764 00:38:31,210 --> 00:38:36,950 Just my guitars and my memory and the highways that I roam. 765 00:38:37,490 --> 00:38:43,650 But then I do remember a place I called my home 766 00:38:43,650 --> 00:38:47,790 in a little town called Tuckabell. 767 00:39:49,710 --> 00:39:50,710 I'll be in the vein. 768 00:39:55,890 --> 00:40:01,290 Remember when I said people shouldn't hide their feelings? I was so wrong. 55577

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.