Original subtitles

Why don't sharks eat lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

Because,

you see, both sharks and lawyers are vicious predators.

So, help me, Carol.

Um, does anyone have any questions for Mr. Stevens?

Warren.

Yeah, just wondering, when you invite a client over to your office for the first

time and they see that it's like in a bowling alley or whatever,

are they ever like, thanks, but I think I'm going to find a lawyer whose

office is not in a bowling alley?

It happens.

Sometimes. Okay, that's all I got, class.

So, for the rest of the hour, please put your heads down and nap.

They're not napping.

Okay, classes met. Thank you very much.

Have a good time in math.

Go, Tori Adarcy. Oh, my God.

It's like facing a firing squad. How do you do that every day?

Actually, you were amazing, Ed. As a matter of fact, you just may be our

best career day speaker ever.

Second best? Well, yeah, a couple years ago, we did have Jack Barry.

Host of The Joker's Wild? Yep.

Did he bring the giant lever?

Yep. That's pretty good.

Ed, um... I can't tell you how much I appreciate you doing this for me. No,

no. Stop right there.

We're friends now. That's what friends do. That's what friends are for.

Right.

So would you dump Nick yet? Ed. I'm just saying, we're friends, right? That's

what friends do. It's just one friend asking another friend a friendly,

question. Please stop saying the word friend.

Okay.

Homie.

the sky tonight there I can keep by your

side watching the

Ten bucks if you drink the rest of the syrup in that bottle.

Come on. Ten bucks, Ed.

When the gauntlet is dropped, you must accept the challenge.

There he goes.

Eddie, what are you doing?

I was drinking syrup.

Oh, thanks, Mike. I thought he was washing the car. Uh, Nance, what's the

matter? You really don't know?

Well, I was up with Sarah for the eighth night in a row.

You look great, honey.

Nice try.

Mike, I know what you're doing. What? You're pretending to be asleep.

Oh, that's crazy. I'm just a sound sleeper, that's all.

Mike, you would have to be in a coma to sleep through all that crying.

Then I must have been in a coma, honey. I was in a coma, and I came out of it. I

recovered. It's a miracle.

Honey, you got ten bucks on you?

Mm -hmm.

Yes, Carol, it's time for yet another glorious day at that most hallowed of

American educational institutes, Duckyville Heights.

And what are you planning on teaching this week?

My kids asked me to read some Kerouac. I don't want to spend too much time on

it, but they're digging it, so.

You know, when I was in your sophomore English class, you read us Catcher in

Rye. It was amazing.

Yeah, well, lots of time. When I look in the mirror, I see Holden Caulfield

staring back at me.

Nick, how do you get away with saying things like that?

Like what?

Morning, Richie.

A little cool for shorts, isn't it?

Not for me. I'm Norwegian.

Nice going. Thanks.

I got a certified letter here from Mr. Edward J. Stevens.

Yeah, he's in the kitchen. Come on back and have a waffle.

Here's your man, sir.

Hey. Hey, Edward J. Stevens?

Yeah. Sign here, please.

Yeah, tell him to answer the J stand for it.

Jeremy.

What's wrong with Jeremy? It means exalted.

Where did you get, oh, exalted one?

Hey, what's the matter?

This is to notify you that your wife, Elizabeth Stevens, has initiated divorce

proceedings.

Ed's wife slept with a mailman.

Wish mine would.

It's not like I'm surprised she's filing for divorce. I knew you'd make it

official sooner or later. I just thought that we'd talk about it first.

I thought I'd get this letter from her lawyer.

Ed, what's done is done. Just sign it, send it off, and put the past behind

It says here they intend to settle everything amicably.

That's good, right?

Well, Liz and I haven't been amicable for about oh -two years.

Now that we're getting divorced, suddenly she wants to be pals?

Ironic.

Thanks. That's what I was going for.

Good morning, Team Stuckyball.

Greetings, your Ed ship.

How's it going, Chief?

I can't think of something to call you.

That's not a problem, Shirley.

Okay, look, here's the deal.

The law practice is starting to eat up a lot of my time, so I'm going to need a

little help running things around here.

So, I would like to promote one of you to manager.

Great, I'll do it.

Kneel before your new master. You kneel down.

Slow down, Phil, okay? You're each going to have an equal opportunity to

interview for the job. Yeah, right.

Hey, listen, Ed, could I get an advance on my raise?

Got a waterbed on layaway.

Thanks, bro.

Ed Stevens?

Yeah.

Lou Brown.

Stuckyville High.

Oh, yeah. Hey, Lou. How's it going?

Oh, yeah. I remember you guys. Ernie, right? And Bob.

Big Bob Arnovitz. Yeah, we used to have a metal shop together.

Oh, actually, it was Woodshop. Does it really matter, Bob?

Woodshop, metal shop, they're both shops.

Sorry, man.

That's okay.

What can I do for you guys? Hey, bowl a free game on the house. Actually, Ed,

the reason we're here, me and my buddies are in need of legal representation.

And some of them bowling alley nachos. Can do. Shirley, some nachos for the

gentlemen.

Nachos.

So what's the problem?

All right.

This goes back 15 years ago to the summer after high school.

Me, Ernie, Bob, we were working nights as busboys down at the Smiling Goat.

boy Mr. Stanton hangs out in. You remember him? He teaches English.

Yes, I remember Mr. Stanton.

He was pretty cool for a teacher.

He let me sit on his motorcycle once.

I felt like the Fonzie. How many times do we have to go through this? It's

either the Fonz or Fonzie. It is never the Fonzie. Hey, guys.

So, the three of you are working as busboys?

Yeah. Us and this other kid, Arthur.

Daily. We used to call ourselves the Four Musketeers. Sort of a play on the

Three Musketeers.

Got it? I don't remember, Arthur. He was real quiet. And real smart.

Like a young Alex Trebek.

So, anyway, one night, the four of us finished mopping up.

We're sitting around having some beers, talking about the mysteries of life.

You never know what the fates hold in store for you. And you could end up a

janitor, a rock star.

Or a guy who trains dogs.

For the movies.

Oh, my God.

So, Arthur gets this great idea.

He says, how about this?

Fifteen years from now.

No matter where we live or what we're doing, we all get together.

However much money each one of us has, we put half of it in a pot, and then we

split it all evenly amongst the four of us. See, that way, if one of the four

musketeers hits it big, the other three get a piece.

You follow?

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Sort of like beginning life as a team.

Yeah, exactly.

So, Arthur, he writes up a contract, and all four of us sign.

This is a bar napkin. Yeah, well, the bartender was all in a apartment.

Okay. And now it's 15 years later. It's time to get together and divide up all

our money, and Arthur's acting like the whole thing never happened.

That's why we came to you.

So, Mal, how do you feel about sneaking out after third period to go to the pie

shop?

What's the occasion?

Is it my birthday?

Uh, no. Actually, I'm having lunch with Ed Stevens, and, um, I thought maybe

you'd like to come along.

Uh, I thought, uh, you and Ed Stevens were buddies now.

We are. So what do you need a chaperone for?

We don't. I would just prefer it if you, um... Ladies.

Hey, can I bum a smoke?

These damn kids are driving me nuts today.

I'm telling you.

Well,

it's pretty smudgy, but it appears to be a contract. So I guess my first

question would be, how did things turn out for the four of you?

Well, me, I'm broke, pumping gas, taking night classes, trying to make something

myself.

I'm a roofer.

I got about 2 ,000 in the bank.

I blew my whole life savings trying to start a broasted chicken restaurant.

Yeah, and what this jackass knows about broasting chickens, you could fit into a

thimble. That was uncalled for.

And Arthur?

There he is.

This company's worth 100 million bucks.

Warren, what are you doing?

Same as you.

Just getting a break from the blackboard jungle for a couple minutes.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that hits the spot.

Hey, could you top this off for me, tough guy?

Warren. Oh, no, no, it's okay. He's just a librarian.

Warren, beat it. The teacher's lounge is for teachers only.

Yes, yes, it is. It is indeed, Miss Fessy. And as of today, I, too, am a

teacher.

This is going to be good.

Yeah, I signed up for the student tutoring program.

I'll be helping some of the less gifted children with Oliver Twist.

Gee, Warren, I'm teaching Oliver Twist.

What a coincidence.

It's so weird. It's so weird how things work out.

Well, hey, perhaps we can get together later and discuss things Dickensian.

Hmm, Warren.

Yeah. That ain't going to happen.

You know, your friend here is a tough nut to crack.

And I am one hungry squirrel.

Here we are, just three friends enjoying three soup and half a salad combos.

Yes, we are friends. Friend, friend.

Combo. Combo, combo.

I'll tell you, the Algonquin round table has nothing on us. Carol, I'm wondering

if you can give me a time frame on this whole friends thing.

What? I'm wondering, like, when can we stop being friends and start being...

know, um...

Booyah, exactly.

Booyah.

Well, March 11th? Does that sound good? Yes.

Great. Let me just check that date out.

Let's see.

March 11th.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, 8 p .m., dinner with boyfriend of seven years. Now, who could that be?

make out that name. Could it be? Oh, it is. It is. It's Nick.

Sorry, Ed.

Ouch.

I've been hoisted by my own petard.

Yes, but what a lovely petard it is. Molly. What?

The guy's got a nice petard.

Thank you, Molly.

Suddenly, I feel a need to pretend I have to go to the bathroom.

Maltz.

You know, I am not a very good chaperone.

You know what?

I don't want to be friends with Carol Bessie.

I'm tired of hiding it.

That was hiding it? See, once you become friends with a woman, you're stuck that

way forever. No.

No, I've got to make my move before it's too late.

Time for more wacky -ass romantic crap. Okay.

Exactly.

Hi.

I'd like to star in my own video, please.

You going to talk dirty?

Nope. You going to keep your pants on? Yep.

Rock and roll.

I'm ready for my interview.

Oh, yeah, sure, Kenny. Have a seat.

Oh, resume, Kenny. Very impressive.

You went to Tufts University?

It's in Massachusetts. I know.

You graduated with a 3 .7 GPA?

Then you attended nursing school? Kenny, you're a nurse?

Pediatric nurse.

Why do you work in a bowling alley?

Life is a journey.

Okay, thanks for your time, Gigantor. We'll be in touch. You got visitors, Ed.

All right, guys. Now, I don't know if I can talk a judge into a $50 million

ruling based on a bar napkin. However, I do think you have grounds for suit.

Really? Well, that's great.

But I have to ask.

Are you sure you want to do this to your friend? Some friend. You know, we were

there for him every step of the way. And now it's like we don't exist.

How did Arthur respond when you brought up the contract?

We never even spoke to him. It was just his big shot New York lawyers.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

What?

Arthur's represented by Farmer and Sheehan.

Are they good?

Yeah, they're good.

They also happened to be the firm that fired me.

Hey. Hey, Molly. Hi.

Why the solitary pacing?

I'm going up against my old law firm.

Well, then I pity your old law firm.

Thanks.

Thanks. Did I ever tell you why I got fired?

Your tie didn't match your suspenders?

I left one comma out of a 500 -page contract.

You got fired over a comma?

That comma cost the firm $1 .6 million.

Must have been some comma.

Yeah. I'd love to win back some dignity in Raleigh. I would really love to beat

these guys.

Well, what can we do to help?

I don't know. They're very good.

And they work in packs like hyenas.

And I'll be outnumbered four to one.

What?

Not necessarily.

Computer boy.

My God, this ain't Richard Davis.

Stevens.

Good to see you. Hi, Richard.

George. Calvin.

Giselle. My partner, Molly Hudson.

Well, this is a wonderful coincidence, isn't it?

Yep. Kismet. So what's this I keep hearing about a bowling alley? That's a

right? Not at all. I have a very nice setup over there.

The bowling alley was the only space available to house all of Mr. Stevens'

associates.

That's right. That's right.

In fact, here come a few of them now.

Meet Philip, Kenneth, and Charlize.

We're lawyers.

You look familiar.

Stanford Law?

No, Phil Stubbs. No, I meant had you attended... Yeah, I know what you meant,

hot stuff. I was just acting stupid so you'd underestimate my legal prowess.

Ah. That's right.

Well, listen, Stevens, if you're ever back in New York, you should come by and

visit us sometime.

Did I say comma?

I'm sorry.

It's probably not your favorite word.

Have you been bleaching your temples?

All rise.

Mr. Winthrop, how can I help you? I ate a bad hot dog.

Got yourself a case of food poisoning, huh? No.

You said you ate a bad hot dog. Well, bad in the sense that I didn't care for

it. The bun was stale.

Why are you here, Mr. Winthrop?

You're the company.

Dr. Burton, your wife is on the line.

Hi, man.

Mike, I just fell asleep at my desk. I cannot go on living like this.

Well, I'm sympathetic, honey. You've got to understand something. I'm a doctor.

If I fall asleep at work, I put lives at risk.

Okay. Mike, from now on, we alternate nights. That's the only fair way to do

this, and you've got to help me out here.

Yeah, okay, honey.

I'll take tonight.

Okay. Good.

All right. I love you.

I love you, too. All right.

Bye. Bye.

As long as you're here, you want a throat culture?

Sure. Your Honor,

we've traveled all the way from New York City because of an old bar napkin.

My client, Mr. Daly, is a very busy man, and I hope you won't allow these people

to waste any more of his time.

This is a nuisance suit, and we ask that it be dismissed at once.

Mr. Stevens?

Judge Henderson?

This is an ordinary bar napkin.

This is a legitimate contract written in clear, straightforward language by none

other than Arthur Daly himself. As such, it deserves a fair hearing in court.

And what's more, Your Honor, you have my word that as long as I practice law in

this town, I'll never sully your docket with a nuisance suit.

Thank you, Mr. Stevens.

I enjoyed hearing you use the word sully. Thank you.

Now, Mr. Davis, the last thing I want to do is to waste your client's precious

time.

That's why I'm going to set an immediate trial date.

Thank you, gentlemen.

So what do you guys think? Think I'm on the right side of this thing or what?

I have no idea. I mean, $50 million all because of some goofy late -night bowl

session when they were 18?

I think he's trying to take advantage of them. No, I disagree, Nance. I mean,

the whole point of the contract was that if one of them got rich, they all get

rich. The guy should be true to his word.

Nance is wrong.

Molly's right. A deal's a deal.

Case closed.

End of conversation.

So if you were a rich guy, you'd fork over half your money? Not a chance in

hell, Ed. You're totally contradicting yourself.

As Walt Whitman once wrote, do I contradict myself?

Very well, then. I contradict myself. I am large.

I contain multitudes.

He's your best friend.

You married him.

Kenny, what you doing?

Pouring you a frosty cup of my delicious homemade root beer.

That man is a pediatric nurse.

And now, class?

The pivotal scene in which young Oliver Twist asks his evil master for more

food.

Please, sir, I want some more. Some more what?

Some more... Some more what? Some more gruel. No, you may not have no more

gruel. Would you hurry it up? If I go any faster, I'm going to lose Charmy.

Miss Fessy. Warren.

So how's Oliver Twist going?

Oh, it's tough.

In fact, you could say it's grueling.

Yes, you could. Well, good luck, everybody, on your test.

Oh, wait, hold on. Miss Bessie, um, that boring lawyer guy was here and dropped

his tape off for you.

Oh, no.

Thank you, Warren.

All right.

Check you later, then.

Her and me, we got a thing going on.

meant to be The kind of love to last

forever You know

everywhere I go All in all my mind,

in my heart, in my soul

Go back to sleep. It's your night off.

What? I took care of it for you.

Go back to sleep.

We're dinky doggies.

I can't believe you've been kidding me.

The pediatric nurse.

Mike,

that is not the point.

I'd be glad to have him do your nights too. No, Mike, it's been a... Not that

we're both at work all day and she's stuck here with the nanny. She cries in

middle of the night whenever our actual parents let her show up.

You're right. Yeah, I am right.

You're sleeping in Sarah's room tonight.

What are you doing?

Being a pancake mouse.

You can't stay mad at a pancake mouse.

Good morning, Miss Bessie. Hello, Ed.

Did you see anything good on TV last night?

Oh, yes, actually. The E! Channel had a lovely documentary on Lou Gossett Jr.

What did you think of my video?

Well, the first time I saw it, I was shocked. And the second time, I was

horrified. It was that third time, though. That's the one that scarred me

life.

You watched it three times, huh?

Ed, Ed, you have got to stop doing this. Was it the inflatable guitar? Yeah, I

knew it. The inflatable guitar was too much. You never see Keith Richards with

an inflatable guitar. Ed? Yeah.

I want to be your friend so badly. Really, I do. But you're making it very,

difficult. Well, that's too bad. I'm trying to make it impossible.

You are impossible.

Nice one.

Cal, what's bothering you is not the fact that I won't leave you alone.

So you know I'm right.

You and I are meant to be more than just friends. No, don't. You're the reason I

came back to Stucky. It was because of you that I bought the bowling alley.

Oops.

I said it.

I wish you hadn't.

Shirley.

It's time for my interview, but I could come back later when you're not

depressed about that blonde lady. We don't have to do this at all.

Shirley, please come in.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Well done.

Okay, then.

So, interview.

Let's see. Well, I know that sounds like a cliche, but where do you see yourself

in five years?

Here.

Okay.

Good.

Then, next question.

Where were you employed before Stuckyball?

Telemarketing.

I sold ladies' shoes.

I found that most ladies were unwilling to buy their shoes over the phone.

All I sold was one of clogs.

One pair of clogs.

Shirley, do you even want this promotion?

No. Okay, then.

Please state your name.

Arthur Daly.

Mr. Daly, is this your signature?

Yes, that's my signature.

I signed a bar napkin. Take me away, officer.

Well, if you sign this contract, why won't you honor its terms? Contract?

What contract?

Do you see a contract?

I don't see a contract. I see a napkin.

Mr. Daly.

Suppose you came home one day and you opened your mail and you found a bomb

threat.

What would you do? Would you call the police?

Objection. Relevance?

Overruled. Answer the question, please.

Yes, I would call the police.

And what if the bomb threat were written on a bar napkin?

Would you then say to yourself, oh, thank goodness, it's not a bomb threat,

just a bar napkin? No, but that's not a bomb. Thank you, Mr. Daly.

Mr. Brown, suppose two friends are playing basketball.

And one says to the other, I'll give you a million dollars if you make your next

shot.

Have you ever said anything like that?

Yeah, of course.

And when your friend made the shot, did you give him the million dollars?

No.

Why not?

A deal is a deal.

Because when you say that, you don't really mean it. That's right.

A contract isn't a contract when everyone knows that you don't mean it.

but we meant it.

isn't a contract when it's said in jest. A contract isn't a contract when it's

written as a joke by an 18 -year -old who never dreamed that one day it would

enforced. Objection.

Yes, Mr. Stevens.

A lawyer isn't a lawyer if he keeps giving speeches instead of asking

Or if he works in a bowling alley.

Mr. Davis.

My apologies, Your Honor.

Nothing further.

Hey, what you got there? Some kind of legal crap?

Actually, it's kind of personal.

Personal? Good.

Spill your guts to Dr.

Stubbs.

My wife's filing for divorce.

That's it?

When you said personal, I figured you were getting a sex change or something.

Sorry I didn't disappoint you.

Hey, come join me in your office.

Why? It's interview time, baby.

Okay, Phil.

I'm all yours. Just tell me why you should be the new manager of Stucky

Good question, my man, but don't ask me. Ask the people who count.

The customers.

Cue lights!

Cue sound!

And... I'm not the world's greatest bowler, but when I broke 200 for the

first time... Phil Stubbs makes me a take.

I felt like a champion.

Phil Stubbs has a special name for every single ball in the alley.

This one is God -free.

Phil Stubbs said that if I dropped out of the running, he'd regret my tub.

Phil Stubbs is your new...

Thank you, everybody.

Congratulations, Phil. You are the new manager of Stucky Bowl.

You know what I'm saying? The kind of guy who just assumed beat you with a

to shake your hand.

But it was my favorite hat. Damn it, I wanted it back. So I looked him right in

the eye and I said, I don't know what I'm going to tell my mother when she

out that I let a biker steal her hat.

And the guy's eyes widen and he rips the thing off his head and he says, this is

a lady's hat. I ain't wearing no lady's hat.

So he gave it back.

That answer your question? That was great.

I see.

Sorry, baby. Got to keep my people happy.

Oh, please. You know I love your stories.

Hey, isn't that your little buddy?

Hey, Nick.

Carol. Hi.

Well, if it isn't the Lord of the Land.

It's your first time at the goat?

First time with a real ID, anyway.

Duncan, how's about a pint for young Edward here?

So, what brings you to this temple of drowned sorrows?

I was looking for you guys, actually.

Of course, right, because, um, Ed lent me an emery board, and I am going to

return it right now, so there's the emery board.

Ed, please take the emery board.

Relax, Carol. Let the man sit down and quaff his ale.

Yes. Yes, Carol.

Let me quaff my ale.

Take it, Ed.

How about a toast?

To friendship?

To friendship.

A mailman?

That's just unbelievable.

Well, Nick, what can I tell you?

Neither rain nor sleet nor gloom of night could stop him from having sex

wife.

I'll tell you, if I were you, I'd just put the whole damn thing behind me. Get

out there and find yourself a fine new woman.

Well, Nick, you know, as it turns out, I already have.

Then what's the problem?

She's in love with a pompous jackass.

Oh, man, I've been there. I feel for you.

You know what she needs?

No. You need some action.

I do.

Let me see what I can scare up for you.

Thanks, Nick.

Ed.

What are you doing? I would say it's a passive -aggressive attempt to make you

feel bad for rejecting me in favor of Nick Stanton, but don't worry.

About five or ten minutes, I'll have it out of my system.

Ed, meet Marie.

Marie, Ed. Hi, Ed.

Howdy. How are you?

Good. She works at the roller rink. You guys can exchange trade secrets.

Well, what are you drinking there, Marie?

A fucking maple.

Duncan, how about a... Turns out I'm not capable of yelling at people in public.

Duncan, shot of Jack for the lady. Shot of Jack. Shot of Jack coming up. So,

Marie, what brings you to the...

Temple of Drowned Sorrows. You don't mind if I use that, do you?

Excuse me. Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's it?

Damn,

I better go.

You kids, have fun.

Thanks.

It's okay, Sarah.

It's all right.

I don't know what I was thinking, Nance.

Cal and I were getting so close, now she hates my guts.

I'm an idiot.

Well, well, well, look who's here, looking all bright and cheery.

It's my little pancake mouse.

Aren't you the cutest little thing? Now you get the point, honey. Can I eat my

breakfast?

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, I want each of you to put yourself in Mr.

Daly's position.

Imagine having spent 15 years working 16 hours a day to build a company from

scratch.

And then along comes three guys, three guys who have made nothing of

and they try and take what's yours because of a joke.

Hey.

I know that Arthur Daly isn't the most sympathetic guy in the room.

He's made more money than most of us will ever see in our lives.

But the laws that protect him and his money are the same

laws that protect you and yours.

Thank you.

Mr. Stevens, your closing statement, please.

Mr. Davis would like you to believe that this contract is a joke.

Well, it's not a joke. Here's a joke.

Why don't sharks eat lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

Look, I have one point to make, and it's this.

You cannot laugh away a commitment.

When these four friends signed this contract, they joined their lives

Now, maybe they shouldn't have done it, you know.

Maybe they're being rash.

Maybe they're being silly.

But couldn't you say the same thing about a lot of marriages?

The fact is this.

They made a deal. Four friends made a deal.

So now it's up to the eight of you to decide what's fair.

Is it fair for my clients to walk away with $50 million?

That's your call.

But is it fair for Arthur Daly to simply laugh this whole thing away? Absolutely

not.

Absolutely not.

I know it. You know it.

And something tells me Arthur Daly knows it, too.

Thank you.

You were great today, Ed. Yeah, me too. Thanks, Lou. You're like MacGyver,

except you don't live on a houseboat.

Hey, what are they doing here?

How can I help you, gentlemen?

My client wishes to discuss a settlement.

No, we're not here to negotiate terms.

Arthur, I said I can't handle this.

In fact, why don't you wait outside?

I was hoping the four of us could sit down and talk this through.

Oh, thanks.

But we're pretty happy with the way things are going in court, Artie.

Look, you're not going to win this thing.

No matter what the jury decides, my lawyers are going to keep this thing

in the courts for the next thousand years. It's what they do best.

What do you want, Arthur?

The four of us... We were friends.

Yeah.

Friends.

I know. I turned my back on you guys.

It was wrong.

I apologize.

But $50 million, is that right?

Look, here's what I'm thinking.

I want you guys to come and work at the company.

There'll be a lot of great opportunities there.

Well, if you change your minds, you can give me a call.

What are bowling balls made of?

Thank you.

Carol. Hey.

Hey, you're the last person I expected to see already.

Yeah.

I need you to make a decision, and I need you to make it right now.

Are you?

Or are you not capable of being my friend?

Just yes or no.

Have you ever been alone?

What?

Cal, you're smart, funny, beautiful.

You're everything a guy could ask for in a girl. So I'm wondering, have you ever

been alone?

I... There was two weeks in the beginning of ninth grade.

I was alone.

Divorce papers from Liz.

Ow. Yeah.

Sorry.

It's okay. When I sign these things, I'll be alone.

No Liz, no Carol. Just Ed.

Maybe I'm having a bit of a hard time getting used to that idea.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

But you know, you don't have to be alone.

Why not?

Because you have Marie.

Marie?

The fuzzy navel girl.

Oh.

No, no, no.

Nothing happened.

Oh, really? No, she wasn't like that.

Uh -huh. And why is that?

Because she was too... She was full of schnapps, basically.

She was too full of schnapps. I see.

Besides, what do you care? I don't care.

I think you do care. Oh, no, no, no, I don't care. I think you care. I think

that you should shut up and sign your divorce papers, is what I think.

Yeah.

It's a friendship.

It's a friendship.