All language subtitles for Ed s01e02 the world of possibility
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1
00:00:01,810 --> 00:00:05,230
Five days and I cannot stop thinking
about it. Five days and you cannot stop
2
00:00:05,230 --> 00:00:07,810
talking about it. Like I'm telling you,
it was one of those moments, me and
3
00:00:07,810 --> 00:00:09,450
Carol Vessi. Carol Vessi!
4
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,690
Imagine being back in high school
looking at one of those crystal balls
5
00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:15,950
seeing that one day Ed Stevens would be
kissing Carol Vessi. What would you have
6
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,630
said? Faulty ball. Exactly.
7
00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:22,390
Wow. Is there an occasion?
8
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,010
I finished a draft of the book.
9
00:00:25,870 --> 00:00:27,850
I thought a celebration was in order.
10
00:00:28,890 --> 00:00:29,890
That's great.
11
00:00:30,370 --> 00:00:31,810
That's really great. Congratulations.
12
00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:34,330
You okay?
13
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,150
Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
14
00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:37,610
To the book.
15
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:43,490
I don't know what they mean by this
whole living like a baby thing. It took
16
00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:44,670
an hour to get Sarah to go to sleep.
17
00:00:44,990 --> 00:00:46,470
And that's what Ed's talking about.
18
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:48,470
Are you kidding me, Carl Bessie? Oh,
yes, he is.
19
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:51,630
You both realize that after the kiss, he
invited me back into her house.
20
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:54,830
I don't think we're going to go in there
and play Parchees. You say play
21
00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:57,570
Parchees here. No, just... Regular play
parches, you know close.
22
00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:00,110
You're saying you would have played
parches? I'm saying we would have had
23
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,310
Gotcha.
24
00:01:01,350 --> 00:01:06,950
Carol, I was thinking, after all the ups
and downs and ins and outs we've had
25
00:01:06,950 --> 00:01:10,890
over the years, there are only two
things I'm sure of.
26
00:01:12,350 --> 00:01:13,350
What?
27
00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:17,710
Number one, I am a self -centered, self
-absorbed horse's ass and probably
28
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:18,710
always will be.
29
00:01:18,810 --> 00:01:21,410
Oh. Actually, I knew that one before I
met you.
30
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,450
Oh.
31
00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:25,660
Okay, and number two?
32
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,360
I am in love with you.
33
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,780
Deep. Total.
34
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,440
Helpless.
35
00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:35,600
I love you too.
36
00:01:36,540 --> 00:01:38,940
She wants me. She wants me. She wants
me.
37
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,880
One part razzle, one part dazzle.
Kaboom.
38
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:46,580
Carol, that's what she wants. Ed
Stevens. Life is so funny.
39
00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:50,380
Funny, funny, funny, funny, funny.
40
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:52,480
Eddie, you're not thinking clearly here.
41
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,480
I mean, Liz broke up with you three
weeks ago. You said yourself no one can
42
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:56,800
over a seven -year marriage in three
weeks.
43
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,160
Nancy, I do not want to think about Liz.
And do you know why? Because Liz slept
44
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,080
with a mailman. And when my wife sleeps
with a mailman, I try not to think about
45
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,800
it. This is just a little policy of
mine.
46
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:11,480
Buddy, you know, I think maybe you're
using this whole Carol Becky thing to
47
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,200
avoid facing your pain. All right,
that's it for this episode of Dr.
48
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,418
Moore.
49
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:17,600
You've got patients to see tomorrow.
50
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,680
Night, Ed.
51
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:26,030
I guess I should probably go to my room,
right?
52
00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:16,990
I'm done talking here because I did not
order a window with palm trees on it.
53
00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:19,210
Look, I got to go. All my stuff just got
here.
54
00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:23,410
No, I'm saying I didn't order palm
trees.
55
00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:28,290
Thanks, Kenny. I didn't order palm trees
because it's not appropriate for a law
56
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:29,290
office. That's why.
57
00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:33,670
I am well aware it's a law office inside
a bowling alley. It's a law office
58
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:36,530
nonetheless, my friend. That's right.
That's right. And I did not order palm
59
00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:37,530
trees. I didn't know.
60
00:03:42,860 --> 00:03:43,860
Is this about a sign?
61
00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:45,340
Oh.
62
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:47,340
Yeah.
63
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,240
So what I'm thinking is Stucky Ball.
64
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,100
Big blue letters down by the pins right
across the lanes.
65
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,800
$1 ,500.
66
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,200
What? What? Oh, no, Dr. Burton, please.
67
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,260
Come on. I'm a local. How about $300?
68
00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:04,660
Well, let's see.
69
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,140
How about $1 ,500?
70
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:08,959
That's crazy.
71
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:09,960
Not you. No.
72
00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:12,920
Uh, that can't stay there. Yeah, that's
all gotta go. Hey, take a look at this
73
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,260
catalog, man. They got everything we
need for the snack bar. Hey, what do you
74
00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:17,260
think of these bad boys?
75
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,420
Phil, those are salt and pepper shakers,
okay? Salt and pepper shakers, by
76
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,940
definition, cannot be bad boys. Yeah,
Mike, look, we need to go into town
77
00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:26,120
exactly 1130 to get coffee. Hey, do you
like the Colonial or the Empress?
78
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,220
Because I'm really torn.
79
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,140
Because I need to run into Carol Vesey
accidentally.
80
00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:32,360
OG 54073, bingo, the Imperial.
81
00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:33,820
Ed, Ed, Ed, the Imperial.
82
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:37,120
Phil, you know what? You know what? You
go ahead. You pick the salt and pepper
83
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:37,849
shakers, okay?
84
00:04:37,850 --> 00:04:40,730
Pick the napkin holders, pick the
ketchup dispensers, knock yourself out,
85
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:44,970
man, okay? Yeah, Mike, 11 .30. Don't be
late. Man, you continue to impress me.
86
00:04:44,990 --> 00:04:48,110
You're not afraid to delegate. So you
want that Stucky Bowl sign or what? Not
87
00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:49,110
for $1 ,500.
88
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:51,030
I bet Shirley'd do it for free.
89
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:52,910
Shirley?
90
00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:57,010
She's very talented. You know that big
Stuckyville Motors pelican sign? Yeah.
91
00:04:57,050 --> 00:04:58,050
She designed a pelican.
92
00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,170
She... Oh, Shirley?
93
00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:01,690
She... Shirley!
94
00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:05,590
No, uh, Shirley, no.
95
00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:11,450
I just want to ask you... You know that
Stuckyville Motors pelican sign?
96
00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:13,410
She designed a pelican.
97
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:15,690
Okay, Kenny?
98
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,530
You just kind of said that.
99
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:20,470
Hi,
100
00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:23,870
Linda. Hi, Mrs. Burton.
101
00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:27,690
Mom's here.
102
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:29,890
Mom's here.
103
00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:31,170
Hi.
104
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:34,270
I had a little break from the office,
and I just wanted to see how my little
105
00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:35,270
munchkin was doing.
106
00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:37,920
Hello, it's Sarah. It's Mommy.
107
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:39,900
She's doing just great.
108
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,280
Aren't you? I was just worried that she
might be having a hard time adjusting to
109
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,160
me going back to work, you know.
110
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:47,920
No, not at all.
111
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,020
She's a happy, happy baby.
112
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,240
Yes, you are.
113
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,180
Good. That's great.
114
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,420
Yeah.
115
00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,480
Stucky ball?
116
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,160
Yeah, I'm taking big blue letters down
by the pins.
117
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,640
I love this Tuckerville Motor Pelican
sign.
118
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,500
You know the owner, Dick Knight? Sold me
my first car. He's got a prosthetic
119
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,500
chin.
120
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,119
Is that right?
121
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,120
I'll do it.
122
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,800
Okay, great.
123
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:27,620
Welcome to the wonderful world of
poshability.
124
00:06:31,630 --> 00:06:34,170
Look at that. A gold coin in your ear.
My God.
125
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:36,830
Stuckyville Stan. I don't believe this.
126
00:06:37,070 --> 00:06:38,070
The one and only.
127
00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:40,490
And I need a lawyer.
128
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,570
I don't believe this. When I was a kid,
my friends and I thought you were a god.
129
00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:47,610
You performed at my 6th, 7th, 8th, and
10th birthday parties. June 20th.
130
00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:48,950
26th. Oh.
131
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:54,070
Well, I... Oh.
132
00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:56,370
Sorry about that. I'm still getting set
up here.
133
00:06:57,310 --> 00:06:58,890
Goodbye, Mr.
134
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:00,410
Spatula!
135
00:07:01,270 --> 00:07:02,410
You're still amazing.
136
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:03,850
You're amazing.
137
00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:05,510
Remember that trick with the dancing
turkey?
138
00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:08,610
Oh, yeah. I still stay up nights trying
to figure out how you did that. Yeah.
139
00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:12,190
First time I did that was on a telethon
with Chuck Connors.
140
00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:13,890
The rifleman? Yeah.
141
00:07:14,150 --> 00:07:16,390
That guy got more tail than Eddie
Fisher.
142
00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:18,430
Is that right?
143
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,850
Whoa! Wait up!
144
00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,070
Oh, it sounds romantic.
145
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:25,310
Well, it was romantic.
146
00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:27,590
Nick always knows just what to say.
147
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,180
He's a writer for God's sake.
148
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:33,720
I mean, it's like every time I start to
drift away emotionally, he senses it,
149
00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:37,420
and he reels me back in. And then things
get lousy again, and I drift, and then
150
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,700
he reels me back in.
151
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,100
I'm going to sue for emotional whiplash.
I know a good lawyer.
152
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,700
Okay, don't start with that again. Come
on, Carol, you kissed the man.
153
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,080
I mean, I know you. You don't kiss a guy
for no reason. I explained this to you,
154
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,500
Molly. It was a moment. A moment.
155
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,060
Yes, I was feeling vulnerable about
Nick. He was feeling vulnerable about
156
00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:56,340
wife. We looked into each other's eyes
and it just, it happened.
157
00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:57,900
And then you invited him into your
house.
158
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,600
Well, yeah, it was part of the same
moment, but a long moment.
159
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,040
Yes, it was an extended moment. Okay,
and what about when you kissed him two
160
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,560
weeks ago and he bought a bowling alley?
161
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:08,770
Actually, that was also a moment.
162
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:10,750
I see.
163
00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:12,130
Here's the problem.
164
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:14,530
Stuckyville's Dan revealed.
165
00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:17,110
He's showing the kids how my tricks are
done.
166
00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:20,350
What about that whole brotherhood of
magicians where no one ever reveals the
167
00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:21,810
secrets? Tell me about it.
168
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,150
Huzzah!
169
00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:27,350
Whoa.
170
00:08:29,350 --> 00:08:30,370
Is that your card?
171
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:34,010
I didn't pick a card.
172
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:41,809
Honey, it's okay. Mommy's coming.
173
00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:43,090
Oh, honey.
174
00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:45,590
Sweetie. Sweetie.
175
00:08:45,950 --> 00:08:47,470
No, no, no. It's okay.
176
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,910
Sweetie. She's a big girl.
177
00:08:51,970 --> 00:08:53,690
Honey, it's fine. Don't cry.
178
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:54,849
Are you okay?
179
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:57,390
Oh, yeah. She's fine. She's fine. It's
okay.
180
00:08:57,690 --> 00:08:58,549
It's okay.
181
00:08:58,550 --> 00:09:00,530
Shh, shh, shh. All my bugs...
182
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,900
different things I can claim. Unfair
competition, violation of trade secrets,
183
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,320
theft of intellectual property.
184
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,260
But to be honest with you, it's going to
be pretty hard for us to win. I've been
185
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,200
doing this act for 53 years.
186
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,400
I'll see what I can do.
187
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,440
Look at you lawyering it up. Oh, you're
late.
188
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,980
Oh, my God. Do you know who this is?
189
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,560
Stuckyville Stead. Oh, my God. This is a
great pleasure, sir. This is great to
190
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,600
me. Hey, what have you got in your ear?
That's ridiculous.
191
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:42,900
A spatula.
192
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,460
Stuckyville Stead just pulled a spatula
out of my ear.
193
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,060
This is the same time I ran into her
getting coffee last week.
194
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,080
You know why there's a word for this?
It's called docking. I think we might
195
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,019
missed it.
196
00:09:57,020 --> 00:09:58,020
I'll give it a few more minutes.
197
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:06,100
Hey, ten bucks if you give me out loud
enough to make that old guy turn around.
198
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:38,239
Hey, Carol.
199
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,640
Molly. Carol. How you doing?
200
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,660
Good. Really, really good.
201
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:43,900
Good.
202
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,560
You? Yeah, good.
203
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,840
Good. Okay, I know. I'm good.
204
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,680
Mike, for the love of God, are you good,
too? Sure, I'm good. Well, what a
205
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:52,680
relief. We're all good.
206
00:10:53,780 --> 00:10:56,080
Yeah, listen, I'm enlisting friends to
come over to the bowling alley tomorrow
207
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,840
night to hang out and help them paint
the place.
208
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:00,859
That, too.
209
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,560
Yeah, it might be fun if you guys want
to come over.
210
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,660
You're also invited to the grand
reopening of Stucky Bowl on Friday.
211
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,300
Hey, babe.
212
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:26,870
And, um, Ed Stevens, I think you know
Nick Stanton. Hi, Mrs. Nick.
213
00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:28,170
How you doing? Good.
214
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,410
Um, Ed just moved back into town. I
believe he used to be one of your high
215
00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:34,270
school students. Yeah, I had you for
sophomore English.
216
00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:37,610
Yeah, me too. I was, uh, I was in your
class. You were the coolest teacher,
217
00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:40,930
I'm sorry, I don't remember you guys.
218
00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:42,290
I just remember the pretty girls.
219
00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:45,610
Um,
220
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:47,710
we really should get going. Beth, I
think we should.
221
00:11:48,150 --> 00:11:50,170
Wait, you're that bowling alley lawyer,
right?
222
00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:51,650
People have been talking about that.
223
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,940
Actually, I'm a lawyer, and I bought a
bowling alley.
224
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,000
Two separate ones. This is fascinating.
225
00:11:56,340 --> 00:12:00,240
I'm thinking about writing about a
lawyer. What makes a lawyer decide to
226
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,240
bowling alley?
227
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:07,120
Well, I... needed a change.
228
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:09,480
Pretty big change.
229
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:10,800
Yeah. Yeah.
230
00:12:12,180 --> 00:12:16,020
To be honest with you, there was one
other pretty big factor involved in my
231
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:18,640
decision. Okay, you know, I've got to
get back to my class now, honey. Hold on
232
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,640
sec, babe. This is research.
233
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,620
So what was that big factor that made a
lawyer buy a bowling alley?
234
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,720
You really want to know? I really do.
Yeah.
235
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:31,600
Well, this might sound strange, but
since you asked, I will go ahead and
236
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,600
you.
237
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:35,340
My wife slept with a mailman.
238
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,180
So you bought a bowling alley?
239
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,400
I'm a complicated man.
240
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:55,540
Shirley.
241
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,580
I finished the S.
242
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,560
Oh. Okay.
243
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:02,940
Great.
244
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,620
Do you want me to come see it?
245
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,220
Okay. Okay.
246
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:23,680
I want you to experience the S all at
once.
247
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:37,260
Okay. Shirley, this is great. This is
better than great. It's perfect.
248
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,500
It's perfect.
249
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:39,640
Are you hitting on me?
250
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,820
What? No, of course not.
251
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,200
Because this is how it started with Dick
Knight.
252
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,500
So, Mike, I'm thinking about Carol Vesey
today, and I came up with a theory on
253
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,280
women. Hit me it. You know what women
are?
254
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:54,880
What's that? Fancy men.
255
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,240
Women are just fancy men, you know what
I mean?
256
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,980
You start with a man, add a bunch of
interesting bells and whistles, you got
257
00:14:00,980 --> 00:14:03,500
woman. That's exactly what they teach
you in medical school.
258
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,840
Hey, Nance. Hey. Hey.
259
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,860
You know, I was just thinking, we are so
lucky to have that Kendra as a nanny.
260
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:10,880
She is great.
261
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,620
She's sweet, and she's bright, and she
loves Sarah.
262
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,960
I mean, so many people have such
nightmare stories about their nannies,
263
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,340
were so, so lucky.
264
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:20,780
Honey, what's the matter with Kendra?
265
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,220
Mike, you're not listening to me. I'm
saying that she's great. I think we're
266
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:24,220
really lucky to have her.
267
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,259
I do.
268
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:27,740
Nancy, you and I have known each other
since we were 12. We've been dating
269
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:28,740
we were 17.
270
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,040
Do I need to continue?
271
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:31,460
Okay.
272
00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:34,440
I think that Sarah likes the nanny more
than she likes me. Well, hell, honey, I
273
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,640
like the nanny more than I like you.
She's kind of hot. Mike, I'm serious.
274
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,420
You know, I'm off at work all day, and
meanwhile, Kendra's here, and she's just
275
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,780
smiling, and she's laughing, and she's
singing her brains out.
276
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,760
I mean, honey, if I were Sarah, I'd like
the nanny more than me, too.
277
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,600
It's really upsetting.
278
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,280
Come here.
279
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,440
Sarah does not like Kendra more than
you.
280
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,220
That baby adores you.
281
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,160
You're the world's best mom.
282
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,580
You're the world's best wife.
283
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,580
I don't know.
284
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,680
I'm so speedy.
285
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,500
Okay.
286
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:16,120
I'm going to go eat a cookie.
287
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,240
You know, so you can do it.
288
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:21,320
You want to have sex? Yep. It's not a
leap year, is it?
289
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,780
Oh, that was... Funny for you to say.
290
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,840
Milky!
291
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:32,580
Milky!
292
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:34,900
Milky news!
293
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:37,360
Right? Right.
294
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:42,240
Wrong. I love that one.
295
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:44,380
Now I'll ruin it forever.
296
00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:47,880
See, the milk stays in.
297
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,460
That's what that masked moron is doing
to me.
298
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,220
It's okay. I'm going to try and make him
stop by claiming that your tricks are
299
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:56,840
what's called your intellectual
property.
300
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:58,560
Will that work?
301
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,100
Well, I don't know. See, the problem is
you don't actually own your tricks. No
302
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,100
magician owns their tricks.
303
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:08,040
In the old days, we would have settled
things like this with a baseball bat and
304
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,180
a sock full of quarters.
305
00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:34,180
So you're pouring salt on my floor?
306
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:35,660
Yeah, check out the flow.
307
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,360
Hey,
308
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:38,680
there's a girl out there for you.
309
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:40,800
A girl?
310
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:42,680
Who? I didn't catch her name.
311
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,880
Molly! You end up with a small talk,
loser.
312
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,340
I'm here to paint. You brought your own
roller, I see. Very impressive.
313
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,360
And I got you a little bowling alley
warming gift.
314
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,640
Oh, Molly.
315
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,380
Yeah, a tiny bowling ball. Yeah, I think
it's for the bowling alley executive.
316
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:03,680
Talk about your niche market.
317
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,440
I love it. Thank you, Mom. More free
help has just arrived.
318
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,319
Only here for the beer.
319
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:09,720
Let's paint. Hey.
320
00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:30,070
Wanda
321
00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:32,370
Let's go outside.
322
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,010
Ed, we need some rules.
323
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:38,670
Rules? Yes, rules.
324
00:18:39,790 --> 00:18:41,370
Okay. I have a boyfriend.
325
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,350
That's not a rule. That's a declarative
sentence. Okay, I am serious. That
326
00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:48,470
little stunt that you pulled today
outside the coffee shop is not... No,
327
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:51,910
Your boyfriend is trying to reduce my
life to some kind of research project.
328
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:54,810
you were the one who decided not to come
into my house, so...
329
00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:57,990
Notice we're starting to jump around
here a little bit. I've been going out
330
00:18:57,990 --> 00:18:59,410
Nick Stanton for seven years.
331
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:02,450
Still jumping. What do you expect me to
do? May I tell you what I think? Please.
332
00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:04,330
Okay. Girl goes out with boy a long
time.
333
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:07,830
Girl not totally happy with boy. Girl
tries to convince herself she's happy
334
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:09,030
boy. New boy comes.
335
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:11,170
Girl decides... You know what?
336
00:19:11,570 --> 00:19:14,010
It's kind of hard to keep talking like
this. What I'm trying to say, Carol, is
337
00:19:14,010 --> 00:19:16,010
that I think that you... No, I think I
understand what you're trying to say.
338
00:19:16,410 --> 00:19:19,950
Ever since you swaggered into town and
turned my whole life upside down, I
339
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:23,490
possibly continue going out with Nick
Stanton because of your incredible
340
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,230
Is that true?
341
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:26,580
Oh, my God. No.
342
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:27,860
No.
343
00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:28,940
Oh.
344
00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:30,580
Oh.
345
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,500
Carol.
346
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,520
That was me on your doorstep the other
night.
347
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,120
I was there.
348
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,560
That wasn't just a kiss.
349
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:41,920
You know it.
350
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,200
I know it.
351
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,120
That was a moment.
352
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,240
You bet it was.
353
00:19:54,670 --> 00:19:56,330
Oh, my God, it's Stuckyville Stan.
354
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,410
Stuckyville Stan, I had such a huge
crush on you when I was little. You
355
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:02,830
have a crush on me, young lady.
356
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:06,110
You had a crush on the wonderful world
of possibility.
357
00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:10,770
About court tomorrow, what shall I wear?
358
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,090
You're Stuckyville Stan, dressed like
Stuckyville Stan.
359
00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:17,670
Oh, you know, I used to write about you
nonstop in my diary, including the time
360
00:20:17,670 --> 00:20:19,950
you missed my ninth birthday and left me
brokenhearted.
361
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:22,490
That's weird. You know, you missed my
ninth birthday, too.
362
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:25,210
Was that in 78?
363
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:26,590
Uh, yeah.
364
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,830
Yeah? Six months at Oakdale.
365
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:31,810
Fell a little too in love with my back
medication.
366
00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:33,550
Yeah.
367
00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:35,750
Catch the movie!
368
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:44,230
Ha ha! I got you.
369
00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:45,990
He did.
370
00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:47,830
For two EJB.
371
00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:50,950
Sir.
372
00:20:51,939 --> 00:20:53,300
You're going to have to take off that
mask.
373
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,060
I cannot, Your Honor.
374
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,179
Why not?
375
00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:59,700
For fear of revealing my true identity.
376
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,440
I've got your name right here on the
docket, Howard Pitchell.
377
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,760
Now take off the mask.
378
00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:09,180
Thank you.
379
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,340
You're welcome, Your Honor.
380
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:15,080
Now, before we begin, I'd like to say
what a thrill it is to have Stuckerville
381
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,160
stand here in my courtroom.
382
00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:18,780
It's magical to be here, Your Honor.
383
00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:33,160
Mr. Pistle, before you started doing
Stuckyville Stand Revealed, did you work
384
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,340
a regular magician at kids' parties?
385
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,479
Yes, sir, I did.
386
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:36,379
And were you successful?
387
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,239
I did all right.
388
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,440
All right. Really? Interesting. Because
I subpoenaed your office records, and I
389
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,700
found out you'd only worked twice in six
months.
390
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,300
Uh, well, yeah, but at one point I had
mono.
391
00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:51,920
Mr. Pistle, when you go to bed at night,
do you have a feeling way down deep
392
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,720
inside that stealing Stuckyville Stand's
tricks and revealing how they're done
393
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:55,720
is wrong?
394
00:21:55,820 --> 00:21:56,820
Objection!
395
00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:59,880
Whether it's right or wrong is not
relevant.
396
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,400
Not relevant.
397
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:05,140
Not relevant. Whether it's right or
wrong is not relevant. Why'd they put up
398
00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:06,680
this big building with all the old
paneling?
399
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,280
I'll allow it.
400
00:22:09,220 --> 00:22:10,220
Thank you.
401
00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:16,980
Pistol? No, sir. I do not think there's
anything wrong with what I'm doing.
402
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,800
Nothing at all? Nothing at all.
403
00:22:19,540 --> 00:22:20,540
I see.
404
00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:22,480
Then why in the world do you wear a
mask?
405
00:22:27,109 --> 00:22:28,109
It's stylish.
406
00:22:29,810 --> 00:22:30,810
Thank you.
407
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,870
Uh, you work here?
408
00:22:39,390 --> 00:22:40,390
I'm looking for Mr.
409
00:22:40,810 --> 00:22:44,270
Chartremond. I'm the owner, actually,
but I don't know anyone by that name. I
410
00:22:44,270 --> 00:22:45,410
Monsieur Chartremond.
411
00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:52,230
I thought your last name was Stubbs. It
is, but the French thing gives me a
412
00:22:52,230 --> 00:22:53,710
business edge. It keeps him confused.
413
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:56,039
right this way.
414
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,340
Okay. Ed.
415
00:22:57,660 --> 00:22:58,660
Hi.
416
00:23:00,340 --> 00:23:01,340
Shirley.
417
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,600
We're out of paint.
418
00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:05,100
Well, that's okay.
419
00:23:05,780 --> 00:23:06,780
We'll just get some more.
420
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,040
Okay. Okay.
421
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,400
I have a very strange staff.
422
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:33,800
Sarah loves you, honey.
423
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,580
Congratulations, Bert.
424
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:44,060
In a world of survival of the fittest,
you have survived.
425
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,240
I'm buying from you, and I am ready to
talk the P word.
426
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,100
Price.
427
00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:51,500
My name's not Bert.
428
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,340
I've written a number down on this piece
of paper.
429
00:23:55,660 --> 00:23:58,740
I want you to look at that number. I
don't want you to say anything about the
430
00:23:58,740 --> 00:24:00,800
number. I don't want you to react to the
number.
431
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,480
I just want you to digest the number.
432
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:09,840
17.
433
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,540
What does that even mean?
434
00:24:11,780 --> 00:24:13,560
Shh. Say nothing.
435
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:15,020
Don't react.
436
00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:22,060
Hiya, kids.
437
00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:25,760
Welcome to the wonderful world of
possibility.
438
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,420
Now, follow my hand.
439
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:34,510
As I reach into the hat. What is this I
see?
440
00:24:34,970 --> 00:24:37,070
Oh, is that a bunny rabbit?
441
00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:39,050
I can't believe my eyes.
442
00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:40,830
That hat is a false bottom.
443
00:24:41,090 --> 00:24:42,090
You suck.
444
00:24:43,450 --> 00:24:44,450
Okay,
445
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:49,170
Ed, Ed, you cannot let this go on
anymore. I mean, Stuckyville stands
446
00:24:49,170 --> 00:24:50,830
an institution in this town. I know.
447
00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:52,330
We're bombing, Stanley.
448
00:24:52,770 --> 00:24:53,770
Maybe that's it.
449
00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:55,250
What?
450
00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:58,990
Stuckyville stands in doing the same act
for 53 years.
451
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,360
That's winter shot.
452
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:03,180
You're horrible!
453
00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:05,880
You're not magic!
454
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,160
That's enough.
455
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,640
Stucky, though, Stan, before Mr. Pistol
started revealing your tricks, had your
456
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,740
act ever gone over so poorly?
457
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,240
Never. It was a nightmare.
458
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,520
A Norwegian kid hit me in the head with
a pop -tart.
459
00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:25,640
How long have you owned all of this?
460
00:25:26,020 --> 00:25:28,280
Objection! Assuming facts, not an
evidence.
461
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:32,540
The court has already determined that
Stuckyville Stan owns no copyright on
462
00:25:32,540 --> 00:25:33,540
of his tricks.
463
00:25:33,660 --> 00:25:36,240
That's true, Mr. Stevens. You'll have to
rephrase the question so that it
464
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,180
doesn't assume that Stuckyville Stan
owns his tricks.
465
00:25:38,460 --> 00:25:39,820
I'm terribly sorry if I was unclear.
466
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,140
I wasn't asking him about owning his
tricks. No magician owns their tricks.
467
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,900
What I asked him was how long he'd owned
all of this. Meaning the cape, the
468
00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:50,380
music, the phrase, welcome to the world
of possibility. I'm asking him how long
469
00:25:50,380 --> 00:25:53,000
he's owned his act. I object to that
assumption, too.
470
00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:56,580
It has never been determined that he
owns the copyrights on his act, either.
471
00:25:56,700 --> 00:26:00,100
Your Honor, Stuckyville Stan has been
doing the same act for 53 years. He
472
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:02,020
created it. He is synonymous with his
act.
473
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,120
Copyright or no copyright, I contend
that he owns it, and furthermore, that
474
00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:07,500
qualifies as his intellectual property.
475
00:26:07,820 --> 00:26:08,820
Objection again.
476
00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:13,060
How do I know that Stuckyville Stan has
been performing the same act for the
477
00:26:13,060 --> 00:26:14,180
past 53 years?
478
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:18,180
Mr. Stevens is making bold, unproven
statements.
479
00:26:18,540 --> 00:26:20,080
He is not asking questions.
480
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,480
Your Honor, I promise, if he ever stops
talking, I'll ask questions.
481
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,220
You stop talking.
482
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,380
You ask questions.
483
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:28,720
Thank you, Your Honor.
484
00:26:28,780 --> 00:26:30,320
Let's begin with the one person who
should know.
485
00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:34,180
Stuckyville Stan is the act that we have
just seen on today's videotape, more or
486
00:26:34,180 --> 00:26:37,900
less the same act that you created and
have been doing for the last 53 years.
487
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:38,900
sure is.
488
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:41,360
Thank you.
489
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:53,980
Now, 53 years is a long time ago, isn't
it? It is. Believe me, I remember.
490
00:26:54,670 --> 00:26:55,990
Are you a football fan?
491
00:26:56,330 --> 00:26:57,330
Yes, I am.
492
00:26:57,810 --> 00:26:59,730
Who won the Super Bowl last year?
493
00:27:05,130 --> 00:27:07,950
I always have trouble with that one,
too.
494
00:27:08,610 --> 00:27:10,330
Nothing further at this time, Your
Honor.
495
00:27:21,170 --> 00:27:23,170
Hey, girl, how you doing? Hello, Ed.
496
00:27:23,630 --> 00:27:24,630
Are we fighting?
497
00:27:24,750 --> 00:27:26,170
I'm not sure we might be.
498
00:27:26,630 --> 00:27:29,110
That's a bummer. Listen, can I ask you a
question? Do you still have that diary?
499
00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:30,249
What diary?
500
00:27:30,250 --> 00:27:32,850
The other night you said you wrote about
Stuckyville Stan in a diary, a
501
00:27:32,850 --> 00:27:34,110
childhood diary. You still have that?
502
00:27:34,350 --> 00:27:35,530
Yeah, sure, somewhere. Why?
503
00:27:36,010 --> 00:27:37,670
You think I could borrow it? I think it
might help.
504
00:27:37,910 --> 00:27:39,230
Well, if it'll help, of course.
505
00:27:39,570 --> 00:27:41,790
Excellent. Listen, I'll see you tonight,
8 o 'clock at the bowling alley. To
506
00:27:41,790 --> 00:27:43,090
prepare. To prepare what?
507
00:27:43,290 --> 00:27:44,290
Your testimony.
508
00:27:44,470 --> 00:27:45,470
I'm putting you on the stand.
509
00:27:47,490 --> 00:27:48,490
What?
510
00:28:06,860 --> 00:28:09,560
Welcome to the law offices of Stevens,
Stevens, and Stevens.
511
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,579
I'm Stevens.
512
00:28:10,580 --> 00:28:13,580
So this is it, the nerve center.
513
00:28:14,140 --> 00:28:15,820
Yeah, pardon the mess.
514
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:17,640
Lovely parting gifts for my marriage.
515
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,940
Oh, the spatula.
516
00:28:24,340 --> 00:28:26,800
It's funny, I was going through a bunch
of my stuff the other day, you know,
517
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,660
like old pictures of me and Liz, wedding
gifts, that kind of stuff. Nothing got
518
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:30,619
to me, nothing.
519
00:28:30,620 --> 00:28:34,120
And then I came upon this spatula and...
520
00:28:36,650 --> 00:28:38,030
It's funny, the whole thing is a
spatula.
521
00:28:38,590 --> 00:28:39,590
You know, you believe that?
522
00:28:41,290 --> 00:28:43,690
Is it, um, is it special?
523
00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:51,110
No, well, um... When Liz and I were
married, we moved into this tiny,
524
00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:54,890
tiny apartment, and the first morning
that we woke up, you know, sleeping on
525
00:28:54,890 --> 00:28:59,430
floor, boxes everywhere, and I went to
the corner store, and I bought this
526
00:28:59,430 --> 00:29:00,430
spatula.
527
00:29:00,690 --> 00:29:05,450
And I came home, and I made her
scrambled eggs.
528
00:29:13,230 --> 00:29:14,730
The, uh, the diary.
529
00:29:16,510 --> 00:29:18,010
I have it right here.
530
00:29:21,730 --> 00:29:26,090
May I see it? Well, no. You see, Ed,
because it's my diary.
531
00:29:26,810 --> 00:29:28,550
Yeah, from when you were, what, eight?
532
00:29:28,870 --> 00:29:32,810
You will note that I have marked the
passages pertaining to Stuckyville
533
00:29:32,830 --> 00:29:34,030
and you may see those.
534
00:29:34,290 --> 00:29:35,950
Okay. And only those.
535
00:29:37,010 --> 00:29:38,010
Okay.
536
00:29:54,030 --> 00:29:55,770
Quite a lot of detail, such a little
kid.
537
00:29:59,210 --> 00:30:00,210
What's this?
538
00:30:01,130 --> 00:30:02,150
C .V. loves B .V.
539
00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:07,230
You turn the page. You cannot turn the
page. I just want to know who B .V. is.
540
00:30:07,230 --> 00:30:08,230
.V.
541
00:30:08,490 --> 00:30:13,450
just so happens to have been the object
of a typical schoolgirl crush, as he was
542
00:30:13,450 --> 00:30:14,530
for many girls my age.
543
00:30:15,410 --> 00:30:16,410
So,
544
00:30:16,710 --> 00:30:17,870
B .V. is somebody famous?
545
00:30:18,710 --> 00:30:21,590
I'm not going to tell you, so you may as
well give it up. Oh, come on. No.
546
00:30:21,670 --> 00:30:23,590
Please? No. Please? No. Come on.
547
00:30:23,870 --> 00:30:26,070
No. I promise I won't laugh. No. Please?
548
00:30:26,530 --> 00:30:28,470
And this kind of thing will drive me
crazy.
549
00:30:28,670 --> 00:30:30,650
Well, that won't be a very long drive
for you.
550
00:30:30,890 --> 00:30:31,890
Boris Becker.
551
00:30:34,410 --> 00:30:35,410
Boris Becker.
552
00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:42,350
Who's a good girl? Who's a good little
girl?
553
00:30:42,950 --> 00:30:45,330
You love Mommy, don't you, Sarah?
554
00:30:46,150 --> 00:30:47,150
Of course you do.
555
00:30:47,270 --> 00:30:48,270
Of course you do.
556
00:30:54,640 --> 00:31:01,520
ready to go outside your
557
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:02,520
door
558
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,240
Miss Bessie, did my client ever perform
for you?
559
00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:01,800
Yes, he did. He performed at my 6th,
7th, 8th, and 10th birthday parties. We
560
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:02,900
loved Stuckyville Stan.
561
00:32:03,140 --> 00:32:04,640
And what's his act of fame each year?
562
00:32:04,940 --> 00:32:08,720
Oh, yes. We all knew it by heart. He
always started by saying, Welcome to the
563
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:09,860
world of possibility.
564
00:32:11,260 --> 00:32:15,100
And then he ended with the dancing
turkey trick. Your Honor, I would like
565
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:18,900
submit into evidence Miss Bessie's 1979
childhood diary, which describes each of
566
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:20,620
Stuckyville Stan's performances in great
detail.
567
00:32:20,980 --> 00:32:21,980
Objection.
568
00:32:22,270 --> 00:32:25,230
A child's diary is totally unreliable.
569
00:32:25,870 --> 00:32:26,870
Overruled. Let me see it.
570
00:32:28,030 --> 00:32:30,450
If you look at the marked portions,
you'll see that the act he performed,
571
00:32:30,570 --> 00:32:33,110
including the types of tricks and the
order the tricks were performed in, was
572
00:32:33,110 --> 00:32:37,370
the same each year. Moreover, the act
described in Miss Bessie's diary is the
573
00:32:37,370 --> 00:32:39,190
same as the one seen in yesterday's
videotape.
574
00:32:40,350 --> 00:32:41,350
Thank you, Miss Bessie.
575
00:32:43,590 --> 00:32:44,590
Ashley.
576
00:32:46,430 --> 00:32:47,430
No.
577
00:32:48,290 --> 00:32:49,290
One more thing.
578
00:32:50,670 --> 00:32:54,510
Miss Bessie, in your diary, the initials
B .V. appear.
579
00:32:55,150 --> 00:32:56,990
Could you tell the court what these
initials stand for?
580
00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:00,970
Miss Bessie.
581
00:33:01,150 --> 00:33:03,590
Objection. You can't object, young lady.
That's his job.
582
00:33:05,290 --> 00:33:06,290
Miss Bessie.
583
00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:11,910
I'm sorry, Miss Bessie. Cannot hear you.
584
00:33:13,270 --> 00:33:14,670
Ben Vereen.
585
00:33:15,070 --> 00:33:16,070
Ben.
586
00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:18,330
You're kidding me.
587
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:28,880
I'm sorry.
588
00:33:46,340 --> 00:33:49,640
What did you do? We do not need this
many salt and pepper shakers. I bought
589
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,000
bulk, and I got a hell of a price.
590
00:33:52,140 --> 00:33:53,580
Phil, this is ridiculous.
591
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:54,960
Phil, listen to me.
592
00:33:55,260 --> 00:33:59,060
A hundred sets in a stack that size, and
we do not need that many salt and...
593
00:33:59,060 --> 00:34:00,980
Oh, my God.
594
00:34:03,340 --> 00:34:07,500
Phil, how many sets of salt and pepper
shakes did you buy? 5 ,000.
595
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,420
We do not need that many sets of salt
and pepper shakers. Oh, no, but we do,
596
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,620
man. People are going to be taking these
things left and right as keepsakes.
597
00:34:15,699 --> 00:34:18,320
Hey, you don't think the guys who run
Caesar's Palace know that when people
598
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,860
check out, they're scarfing up an
ashtray or two? They're budgeted for
599
00:34:21,159 --> 00:34:24,520
Phil, listen to me. I'm going to court
now, and when I come back, there better
600
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,960
not be an unreasonable amount of salt
and pepper shakers, okay?
601
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:30,920
Phil,
602
00:34:33,820 --> 00:34:35,120
that can hold us.
603
00:34:35,659 --> 00:34:36,659
That's it right there.
604
00:34:38,219 --> 00:34:41,409
A dancing turtle. I object to all of
this.
605
00:34:41,630 --> 00:34:45,670
Now, what possible point can Mr. Stevens
hope to prove by wasting the court's
606
00:34:45,670 --> 00:34:47,449
time with a magic show?
607
00:34:47,810 --> 00:34:52,130
Your Honor, the first time I saw
Stuckyville Stan do the dancing turkey
608
00:34:52,130 --> 00:34:52,808
was six.
609
00:34:52,810 --> 00:34:55,949
And now, after all these years, I
finally figured out how he does it.
610
00:34:55,949 --> 00:34:56,949
like to know how?
611
00:34:57,170 --> 00:34:58,170
I'll tell you how.
612
00:34:58,250 --> 00:35:02,330
He does it by taking us into the world
of possibility where, as it turns out,
613
00:35:02,430 --> 00:35:03,710
turkeys can dance.
614
00:35:04,460 --> 00:35:07,760
Mr. Pistolsack seeks to destroy that
world, and I'm here to protect it
615
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:12,040
without the world of possibility, what
do we have left?
616
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:15,440
You know what?
617
00:35:15,820 --> 00:35:20,560
I concede that Stuckyville Stan takes us
into this world of possibilities.
618
00:35:21,180 --> 00:35:22,180
It's irrelevant.
619
00:35:22,580 --> 00:35:24,220
Now, can we move on?
620
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,120
Bring on the dancing turkey.
621
00:35:33,630 --> 00:35:36,210
do this trick, I will need an assistant.
622
00:35:36,570 --> 00:35:37,650
Ed, do you mind?
623
00:35:38,730 --> 00:35:39,730
Yes.
624
00:35:40,850 --> 00:35:43,770
You have to wear this cape. You have to
look the part.
625
00:35:44,430 --> 00:35:50,710
Welcome to the wonderful world of
626
00:35:50,710 --> 00:35:51,710
possibilities.
627
00:35:52,410 --> 00:35:56,050
In your world, a turkey is a turkey.
628
00:35:56,550 --> 00:36:02,650
But in the world of possibilities, a
turkey can rise up.
629
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,080
And dance.
630
00:36:04,220 --> 00:36:06,340
Rise up and dance.
631
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:07,760
Dance.
632
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:09,300
Dance.
633
00:36:10,020 --> 00:36:11,680
Dance, turkey, dance.
634
00:36:12,300 --> 00:36:14,760
Rise up and dance.
635
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,480
Dance! Rise up and dance!
636
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,180
Dance, turkey!
637
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,120
Dance! Dance for Stan!
638
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,280
Dance! Dance for Stan!
639
00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:28,520
In two seconds, raise up your hands.
640
00:36:28,740 --> 00:36:31,260
Two, one, dance!
641
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,680
Thank you.
642
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:03,720
That doesn't really matter here.
643
00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:09,980
Mr. Stephen, your quest to protect the
world of possibility is quite moving,
644
00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:11,140
it has nothing to do with the law.
645
00:37:11,780 --> 00:37:13,480
So let's get to the law.
646
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,980
This case comes down to one question.
647
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:21,380
Can Stuckyville Stan own his act without
owning the tricks in his act?
648
00:37:22,020 --> 00:37:26,180
Based on the evidence that shows that
he's been performing the same act for
649
00:37:26,180 --> 00:37:29,600
50 years, I believe the answer is yes.
650
00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:34,820
Therefore... The court orders Mr. Pistol
to discontinue all operations
651
00:37:34,820 --> 00:37:38,060
pertaining to Stuckyville Stand revealed
immediately.
652
00:37:41,180 --> 00:37:48,140
Here you go, my man. Have a good game.
653
00:37:48,140 --> 00:37:49,140
Here's your sports car.
654
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:50,300
Take it easy.
655
00:38:16,430 --> 00:38:17,490
I reject the world of possibility.
656
00:38:17,850 --> 00:38:20,090
I must detect it. I beseech you.
657
00:38:20,630 --> 00:38:23,990
My name is Ed Stevens, and I love
dancing turtles.
658
00:38:28,430 --> 00:38:29,430
Kenny.
659
00:38:31,610 --> 00:38:34,250
Kenny. Why do you keep doing that,
cracking everybody up?
660
00:38:36,850 --> 00:38:37,850
All right.
661
00:38:42,650 --> 00:38:44,970
You look marvelous.
662
00:38:46,030 --> 00:38:52,550
And you know, darling, it's much better
to look good than to feel good.
663
00:38:58,890 --> 00:38:59,890
Now.
664
00:39:03,290 --> 00:39:04,290
That's good.
665
00:39:27,450 --> 00:39:30,350
You know, Molly, things never work out
the way you plan them.
666
00:39:30,750 --> 00:39:33,210
Oh, I wouldn't know. I live a charmed
life.
667
00:39:34,450 --> 00:39:36,250
I honestly don't even know what I'm
upset about.
668
00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:40,130
Well, I think you're upset because
things never work out the way you plan
669
00:39:40,230 --> 00:39:41,230
Couldn't have said it better myself.
670
00:39:42,830 --> 00:39:44,710
You know what? Let's try this one on the
first night.
671
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,620
When you came back to Stuckyville for
Carol Bessie, you didn't plan that she'd
672
00:39:49,620 --> 00:39:51,240
be in love with your old English
teacher.
673
00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:57,160
And after you were amazing in court, you
didn't plan that Carol Bessie would
674
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,520
still be in love with your old English
teacher.
675
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:06,080
When you bought that spatula for your
wife, you didn't plan that seven years
676
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,940
later you'd be sitting here using it to
hit tiny bowling ball.
677
00:40:10,300 --> 00:40:14,600
But that's what we humans do, Ed. You
know, we plan it all out and then...
678
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,520
Life just does whatever it wants.
679
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:18,160
Yeah.
680
00:40:18,980 --> 00:40:21,340
Makes you wonder why we bother to plan
it out in the first place.
681
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:27,820
I think we do it to help us navigate the
world of possibility.
682
00:40:30,740 --> 00:40:33,760
Either that or it's a really effective
way to kill time.
49959
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