All language subtitles for Benidorm s09e09

Hostia, pero que coño haces?

Vas a cerrar el hotel?

Not you.

Not any need.

I know he's just a child, but if he
cannot do the job, he should not be

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking
about all the showing. I'm trying to

keep it here. Look. Look what baby Jesus
has done.

I think that's fabulous.

Gay pride next month.

I think all the hotels should do that.

Really?

Thank you, team, for holding the fort so
far. I'm going to make this brief.

Yes, we have had an illegal ten -year
-old worker pour weed killer into the

filtration system of the swimming pool,
but we are not going to let this spoil

our guest's holidays.

Why is baby Jesus illegal?

It's because he's ten.

I knew something like this would happen
eventually.

Where is Jesus?

Apparently, he's everywhere.

Jesus! Bless you!

If you're just going to make infantile
jokes, you may as well leave.

I'm only here to find out why our
water's been turned off for the last

hours. As we have no idea into which
pipes baby Jesus poured the weed killer,

the entire hotel will have to be
evacuated.

Right,

as I was saying, all the guests will
have to be evacuated until the hotel

clean bill of health. Why did you not
eradicate them three hours ago?

We've been stalling our guests.

in the reception area, because I thought
we may have sorted things out by now,

but apparently we need someone from the
council to give us a thumbs up.

How long will that take?

Oh, Jesus.

Why don't we all go for a walk?

Tiger and Joey went on a mountain walk
last year. Walk up a mountain?

Trying to kill me on last day of my
holiday.

What about the beach?

Covered in sand, painted sunbeds with no
shade.

We could go to the zoo.

I hate zoos. A lot of stinking,
miserable animals staring at outside

wishing they could escape.

I know how they feel.

The good news is, I've been on the phone
to Andre, the manager of the Benidorm

Circus, and I've arranged for all our
guests to spend the whole afternoon

Oh, goodness.

How do I cancel this?

Oh, Savage!

What the hell is going on?

Crystal, what a lovely surprise.

How are you? Are you trying to close me
down? Oh, no, no. I was just moving the

laptop so I could see you properly.

I'm talking about my hotel.

I'm sorry, Crystal. I have no idea what
you mean.

Weed killer in the swimming pool. Child
labour.

Hotel guests rioting.

Good news travels fast, Savage, but
gossip travels at the speed of light. I

admit, the swimming pool is temporarily
out of commission.

I don't remember the guest's writing.

Okay, Savage, I understand that
accidents happen, but my patience is

thin. The hotel won't be safe until
early evening, but in a...

You can't do that.

Just watch me, Savage, because you can
guarantee...

I'll be watching you.

Mr. Presavis, who are the mumbling
simpletons?

Perhaps we could be getting rid of them
for you.

You'd better get out of here now, or
these people are going to tear this

apart. Come on, everyone, out!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm thrilled to
announce, to make up for the slight

technical problems we've had today, I
have secured a free trip to the world

-famous Benidorm Circus.

Have you got enough clowns in here
already?

Yes, you're not the first to say that.

No, I bet.

As well as the sensational
entertainment, we are also laying on

luxury coach travel.

There's no water.

Complimentary refreshments will be
provided.

No, no, I don't mean water to drink. I
mean in the rooms. I need a shower.

he really does.

Oh, look.

I think the first of the complimentary
luxury coaches are arriving now.

Wonderful timing.

All aboard now, please. All aboard.

Can all the people that haven't had a
shower get on the same coach, please?

Very amusing.

Look, team, I'll admit at the moment the
chips are down, but if we can get

through today, we can get through just
about anything.

Or, as my husband used to say, just when
you thought it couldn't get any harder,

life shoves another finger up your bum.

Joyce.

Joyce. I came as soon as I heard.

Monty, what are you doing here?

Please, I know you're angry with me. I
just want to help.

Monty, if you really want to help, then
go away.

But, Joyce... So, what's it going to be,
circus or your mother's hotel?

Never a dull moment here, is there?

Some lad's put weed killer in the
swimming pool.

Yeah, circus sounds fun.

And I bet all them coaches have got air
con. Yeah, come on.

Circus?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
Berry Dawn Tucker.

Feel free to luxuriate in the cool air
-conditioned ambience of our luxury

for a few minutes, and I'll let them
know we're here.

Mateo, would you like to join me? No, I
want to urinate in the cool air

-conditioned ambience of the luxury
coach.

Move yourself.

Okay, okay.

OK, thank you for your patience, ladies
and gentlemen.

We reckon the best thing you need now is
just hang fire for a bit while we get

inside and see how the lad lies, OK?

Right, bitches, chill your boots here
for a bit while I go and touch up a few

clowns. I've not had any other offers
this week.

Mate, you've either got to go for that
or tell her it's not happening and put

her out of her misery.

Mate, I want to say something to you,
but I don't want you to take the piss.

Just not into one -night stands, you
know.

Just for the sake of them.

Right. You think I'm weird, don't you?

No, mate.

Although we haven't really had a lot of
choice in this holiday.

True. Although if you shag Rob's grandma
again, then technically it won't be a

one -night stand.

It'll be more of an affair.

Jokes.

You are Joyce?

Yeah. Hey, welcome, Joyce. I am Andre.
We spoke on the phone.

Welcome to the Benidorm Circus.

Apologies, my belt is very loose.

My trousers, they keep falling down. I
don't have the underwear.

We would not want the accident to
happen.

Would we?

No, we wouldn't.

Andre, I can't tell you what this means
to us. We've had an absolute disaster.

You are literally saving the day. Yes,
it's not a problem, especially for such

beautiful lady.

What time is the show? I beg your
pardon? What time is the show?

Who's this?

This is Matteo.

He works for me.

The show is 6pm every Sunday. No, no, he
means what time is the show today?

Today? Yes.

What time is the show today?

Right, what are we doing?

People are getting at your feet.

Andre, you said I could bring our guests
up here to the circus.

When you called me, you just asked if I
had room for your hotel guests.

You said nothing about show.

How are we, man? You're joking. What do
you think I wanted to do? Sit them all

in an empty tent for the afternoon?

Are the Aldanis still here? The flying
Aldanis?

No, they left some time ago.

Madame Fuego? The fire eater? No.

Elvira, the better lady.

Right, sorry, instead of going through
the entire list of your ex -shags, why

don't we ask who is here and if they're
willing to put on a show for us? I hate

to say this, but that's a very good
idea.

Aye, if we don't do something, there's
going to be a mutiny. You can knock on

the trailer doors, but the circus
performers, they do not speak good

whatever language he is speaking.

Luckily, I brought Mateo.

Even less speak Spanish. As they say in
my country, the end's been accessed.

What are we going to do?

You try and get some acts together, and
we'll herd that lot into the tent.

Right, Nev?

Aye. How are you with sign language?

Sign language?

Mmm... Oh.

Charming. Somehow I don't think that's
going to help us.

Hey, everybody!

Let's move it up! Thank you!

It's exciting, isn't it?

All these years in Benidorm, I've never
been to the circus.

My mother, who was a magician's
assistant, worked in a circus when I was

final year at school.

She'd often come home covered in
sawdust.

Mind you, she was having an affair with
my woodwork teacher as well at the time,

so you never quite knew where she'd
been.

Liam, what have I told you about getting
so excited?

Oh, sorry, Kenny.

Just saying to Jacqueline. All these
years, I've never been to the Benidorm

Circus. Oh, I have. It's brilliant.

Incredible, really. Amazing.

Liam? What's wrong?

Hmm?

Oh, nothing. Just haven't heard from my
dad today.

Well, he's travelling back this
afternoon, isn't he?

Yeah.

Bit dead, innit? There's more bloody
atmosphere at Aunt Moon.

Looks amazing on the internet.

Five -star reviews.

Add a bit of music on while we're
waiting.

The circus once came to our school when
I was a kid. I say a circus, it was a

man and a goat.

The man was dressed as a cowboy and the
goat was wearing one of them neckerchief

things.

And? And what?

Well, was that it?

Well, they allowed us to stroke the goat
and then, as a finale, the bloke bent

over and the goat stood on his back.

Bloody hell. Where was this, sir?
Because 1930s Russia.

No, I told you. They came to our school.

Are you going to answer that or what?

No. It'll be that solicitor again.

What solicitor?

Vultures picking over Ron Pickford's
bones.

What are they ringing you for, Grandad?
Well, he had no family.

And I was the only friend in his phone
book that was still alive.

He might have left you a fortune.

No. He had nothing.

In fact, he had less than nothing. He
got more debt than Lenny Bishop.

Who's Lenny Bishop?

Somebody with less debt than Ron
Pickford.

Obviously. And I don't want him coming
after me for it.

I don't think you can be liable for
somebody else's death if you're not

to them, Grandad. You can be liable for
a smack in the gob if you don't turn

that bloody ringer off.

I'd sooner listen to this than your
whining voice any day.

Do you want me to put it on silent for
you, Grandad? Rob, your nana gets on

everybody's nerves. There's no need to
refer to her as it.

All right, thank you.

Save the comedy for the clowns.

Have you ever seen any?

Have you ever been to a circus before?

No, man, I'm excited.

Have you?

Yeah, when I was really little. All I
remember is this geezer put his head in

lion's mouth.

Not very impressive, is it? Are you
joking?

Well, no.

A lion's mouth is massive, isn't it?
It'd be much more impressive if he could

put his head in, say, a rabbit's mouth.

But his head wouldn't fit?

Exactly. Much more impressive.

You're at the Geordie bar?

Aye, we've since.

Don't think I've ever been in there.

Aye, we do crack and breakfast.

I prefer breakfast in bed.

So, what's going on with Les in the UK?

Oh, I think he's just gone home to sort
out a few financial matters.

It's good of you to step in for him.

Aye, well, we're Geordie's stick
together.

Oh, yeah, you'll never walk alone and
all that.

That's Liverpool.

Is it?

What's the song for Newcastle? No, don't
tell me. I know it.

Blue Moon.

Man City.

Oh, right.

I'm forever blowing bubbles.

I know that when Michael Jackson won it.

It's Local Hero.

Never heard of it.

It makes me laugh the way Gromeng all
tied into knots about kicking an

bag of leather around a glorified school
playing field.

I'm sorry?

Well, it's usually men who take the piss
out of girls for crying at sad films,

but when their team loses, they're
bawling their eyes out. It's not life or

death, it's just a game.

Are you all right?

Or perhaps if women try to understand
what it's like to commit your life, your

soul, your very existence to the agony
and torture, the nerve -shredding

heartbreak of devoting every single
fibre of your being to your home team,

maybe, just maybe...

they might begin to scratch the surface
of why calling football just a game can

cause a grown man to smash up his own
bar through all his programmes and

memorabilia, including a signed picture
of Paul Gascoigne into a skip and then

set fire to the lot and collapse onto
the ashes, crying into his Newcastle

ale after losing 8 -0 at home to
Sheffield Wednesday!

He's about to say that.

Hello. Hello.

Sorry for intruding.

We're looking for performers.

Habla español?

No. He does not speak Spanish.

Fancy working in Spain and not even
bothering to learn the language.

Yes, what are we going to do? He clearly
doesn't speak English either.

He cannot help except to try the La Voix
sisters in that caravan. I didn't know

you could speak Italian, Matteo.

I didn't know you couldn't.

Actually, I say I did not know, I could
have guessed.

Hola.

Hablas espanol?

No, je parle francais. Ah, oui.

We work in a local hotel. We need a show
this afternoon.

Uh, no. Not really, because I'm doing a
hockey number with my sister and she's

not here.

You can maybe do some balance on me, no?

Look, I'm muscular.

Go on, touch.

Oh yeah, huh?

It's okay, you're muscular.

But in reality, I don't think I have the
right to do balance with you.

Why? What's stopping you?

Your boss, André?

My husband, Hercule.

Hola. Hablas espanol?

Ich bin Deutscher.

Ah, Deutscher.

Alles klar.

Wir sind von einem lokalen Hotel und
brauchen dringend Künstler, die heute

Nachmittag ihr eigenes Programm
aufführen können.

Canst du uns helfen?

Arbeitest du an deinem freien Tag?

Nein.

Oh.

Mateo, how many languages do you speak?

Wait. Mean?

Mean!

Mean!

Mateo, what the fuck are you doing down
here, you asshole?

I cannot believe it. I thought you were
dead.

Thanks. You look like a bucket of shite
yourself.

No, I mean someone told me you died.

I die on a regular basis.

Every Sunday at six o 'clock.

I blame the audience.

Thick and full of science.

Why are you in costume and make -up?

You know there is no show today.

If I want to stay here dressed as Marie
Thicke and Antoinette, I will do.

It's my life.

Anyway, there's no point in washing it
all off.

We have another show at the end of the
week.

We need to put on a show, but none of
the acts will help us.

What the feck makes you think I'm going
to feck and help you?

First of all, who the feck are you?

And second of all, and third of all...
Please, Bean,

we need your help. No means no.

Now feck off and leave me in peace.

What if we got you another drink?

What kind of drink?

Another big bottle of that yummy,
scrummy Irish whiskey.

How big?

Twice as big as that one.

When would I get it?

I'll send somebody for it now.

Right, let's get this second show on the
road. Follow me.

Come on.

Oh, I'm getting a numb bum.

There's something... What's going on in
Benidorm this afternoon?

Oh, yeah, what's that?

It's the Benidorm Swingers Association
biannual wife swap and finger buffet.

Oh, I think I'll pass, thanks.

Oh, they've got a great band on.

Donald and I met them at the palace.

Yeah, I think I'll just stay here.
They're giving out candy floss now.

Hang on.

What palace?

Oh, Donald and I got invited to
Buckingham Palace a few years ago and

this terrific band playing, so we
recommended them to the BSA.

What was you and Donald doing in
Buckingham Palace?

Oh, we got invited to the Diamond
Jubilee after meeting the Queen of

a brothel in Amsterdam.

Well, they said it was the Queen of
Denmark.

Wilkes -Barre.

I see you've pulled.

Thick off.

Charmed, I'm sure.

This is Bean. He's going to help us put
on a show.

No, Bean's not the fire -eater. He'll
burn for the rest of the week.

Thick off.

Yeah, I think you already said that.

Joyce! Oh, goodness sake, Monty, how
many more times? Go away, I'm busy.

Oh, you don't understand.

I wanted to take you up the Junty Mento.

Monty, please, we've been through this.

I think he means a downhole.

Anyway, I went up there on my own. I got
a couple of old friends to pull a few

strings, and they're going to speed up
the inspection of the Solana. You did

that for me?

Of course.

Who's getting my second whiskey?

We will get your whiskey. First, we need
to find some more acts.

There are no other acts.

We can hardly put on a show with just
one clown.

One pickle clown.

Back off!

There's enough of us here to do a show.

Mateo, do you remember Elena?

Of course, we were engaged to be
married.

Well, only the fecking rest of them.

Do you remember the knife thrown at you
with them?

Si, claro, I saw it a thousand times.

It's no more good to fecking go.

Come on, what are you doing?

We're putting on a show. Who is putting
on show?

We are. These people cannot perform in
big top.

Only professional circus act.

Come on, ignore him. He's a fecking
idiot. I am warning you, Bean. I will

let this happen.

Do you understand me?

And I'm warning you, Teddy.

Unless you want greater Manchester
police crawling all over this tent like

on a shit heap looking for Terence
Goblin, the Fleetwood Flasher, I'd keep

big top. Shut it!

You're having a laugh.

You wouldn't bloody dare.

Try me?

Now stop being a dick and get out of me
way.

Straight ahead, I'll meet you backstage
in five.

We'll just go and knock on a few more
doors.

Come on!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome to the Solana Circus!

In tonight's show, we have the ump...
Excuse me, what are you doing? You're

on yet.

Get off, please.

No. No, thank you. Come on, do not be
boring.

Who are you calling boring? That's my
wife you're talking to.

I'll help you out, mate.

What are you doing?

You only live once, son.

No, not you!

Here we go.

See what's going on here.

Bugger this, don't try me.

Vamos.

Hey,

up!

All right, all right, you've had your
bit of fun.

Get me off this frigging board.

What are you trying to do, give me heart
attack?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Joyce!

It's all done.

What? You can go back to the hotel.
You've got a clean bill of health. But

said it could take up to eight hours.

I've used up just about every favour I
had going at the town hall.

You're worth it, Joyce.

Oh, Monty.

Anything for you to... As

you

can see, Crystal, in the grand scheme of
things, we turned what could have been

a disaster into a wonderful trip to the
circus.

But I suppose I should let you be the
judge of that.

I'd never sit in judgment of you,
Savage.

What kind of a boss do you think I am?

Well, that's very kind of you.

No, I'll let everyone else do that.

Sorry? The questionnaire will be emailed
from my office in the next ten minutes.

And I want every guest to fill out the
form when they check out.

Now, if I find that the majority of our
guests have not had the holiday of a

lifetime, you are out. Do you
understand?

Yes, Crystal.

Will that be all, Crystal?

Oh, no. I'm going on a six -week
transatlantic cruise and I need a valet.

You need someone to clean your car?

No, you idiot. I need a butler, a
steward, a man who can...

I'm not sure we've got anyone suitable
for that, Crystal.

Oh, I think you do.

Thank you, Neville.

Well, I really don't know how to thank
you, Monty.

Well, I'm sure we can find a way.

For goodness sake, Monty, do you think
of nothing else?

I'm sorry.

I was just about to ask you if you'd let
my nephew sing in Neptune.

Oh, sorry.

Well, on any other night, Monty, it
wouldn't have been a problem, but I

do have to pull out all the stops
tonight.

If I don't give these people the best
night of their lives, I'm out on my ear.

Sorry, but did I overhear you need a
band for tonight?

I'm sorry?

Should be out and about. It's our last
night.

Out and about where?

I don't know, anywhere.

I'm going nowhere.

Have you not seen?

There's going to be a band on.

I think a bit of dancing might be on the
cards.

Are you going to dance with Grandad?

There may be some lucky maiden who gets
to take my hand on the floor later.

Yeah, and a hundred even luckier ones
that don't.

Shine out loud.

I thought you sorted this. What's wrong?

That. Oh, I took the ringer off. I
forgot about the vibrate.

Right. Hang on.

Hello, Eddie Dawson. Nicky Quicks, I'm
on my holidays. No, no.

Get out of my face, you big lump.

All right.

That's right.

That's right, love.

Right.

He's ready to go whenever you need him.

Who is?

My nephew, Danny. You said he could
sing. Tell him to do only one song. That

band in the dressing room are drinking
us dry.

Joyce, what's happening between us?

Not a great deal.

No, what I mean is... Ladies and
gentlemen, please welcome to the stage a

talented young man, Mr Danny Kelly!

Thank you, guys.

My name is Danny.

I'm going to sing a song called Get
Here.

Thanks for this, Uncle Monty.

I'll try not to let you down.

Monty, is this a joke?

It's not a joke.

This is supposed to be the best holiday
our guests have ever had.

I know.

Then why have you brought me a man with
the voice of a 13 -year -old girl and a

face like a dropped pie?

Joyce, listen to me.

I took a taxi to the airport yesterday.

I booked a ticket, a one -way ticket to
Luton.

As I sat there looking at my ticket, I
felt sick.

Is it that bad?

It's what, that bad?

Luton. No, that'll be... It is fairly
bad, as it goes.

No, what I mean is...

I felt I was in the UK in such a sense.
Something that was missing from my life.

And that something was already here.

You can reach me by railway.

You can reach me by trainway.

You can reach me on an L, baby.

You can reach me with your mind.

You can reach me by...

Joyce, on the face of it, I can give the
impression of being somewhat

unreliable. At worst, I can appear to
be, what's the phrase, almost...

I was going to say devil may care.

Oh. But it's purely a facade.

I know you must think with this amount
of roguish charm, I could have my pick

the most beautiful women in the world,
but I don't want them.

I want you, Joyce.

I see.

So, I'm going to ask you a question.

You are?

Yes, I am.

A question I need a definite answer to.

Because the answer to that question will
determine how I live the rest of my

life, either here in Benidorm or in the
UK, looking for love.

You're going to look for love in Luton?

Not in Luton itself. I'm flying into
Luton. So what, the surrounding area?

Will you just forget about bloody Luton?
It wasn't me who brought it up. It was

you. Oh, for God's sake, it was just...
Answer the question.

You haven't asked me it yet.

Yes, I did.

No, you didn't. You just waffled on
about Luton.

Joyce Temple Savage.

Will you... Will I

what?

Chips and rice, Joyce.

Chips and rice.

Marty, I just don't know what you're
talking about.

Miss Temple Savage!

Have you seen the group in the dressing
room? Why?

It's madness.

Oh, my goodness. Why is it always up to
me to sort everything out?

I'll be right back.

and not what's wrong with them.

Please welcome Madness.

Good evening, Benidorm. We are Madness.

No, we are.

Right, right, well, thanks for calling.
Bye.

Yeah, I'll be in touch.

Bloody Nora!

What did they say?

Madness! What did they say on the phone?

That's madness!

It won't be the real ones. There'll be a
tribute band.

You're saying I don't know madness? That
sucks!

Whoa, whoa!

He's not even listening to me. For
Christ's sake, Billy, will you put us

of all misery and tell us what they
said?

Er, it was the solicitor. We're not... I
was a solicitor. That's why he wouldn't

answer it.

Your mate, Ron... Ron Pickford. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. He's left his house in his

will. He didn't own a house. It was a
council house.

Well, according to him, he bought the
house off the council in the early 80s.

did have a lot of debts for the show,
but he left over.

How much left over? I don't know.

or would Diane leave me a load of money?

Well, don't look at me.

I've fended to forget it. It's been me
and you, ma 'am.

Oh, well, right.

Thank you very much.

Well?

300 quid.

300 quid?

How much was the house for?

Council bought the house back for 65
,000.

That's including stuff in the garage.

Oh.

Poor old Pip.

Poor Ron Pickford. That stuff ain't got
his reminder worth the least a grand.

I'm 700 quid down.

Twisted, rotten bastard.

To Ron Pickford.

A man after me own heart. Oh, to Ron
Pickford.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

What,

mate?

Oh, man, this is my dad's favourite.

Really? Yeah. Oh, how?

Dad, listen to this.

Looks like my dad's enjoying it too.

Barbara wears his Sunday best.

Mother's night, she needs a rest. The
kids are playing up downstairs.

The Christmas dying in her sleep.

All right, Tom, drop off.

Brother's got a date to keep. He can't
hang around.

Our house in the middle of our streets.
Our house in the

middle of our streets. Hey, Joe, are we
on the phone tonight?

Where you either sniff or wake. Hi.

You make it sound so horrible.

Life's not all about instant
gratification, you know.

Ooh.

Yeah, I said it. Sex should be special.

A defining moment between two people who
love each other.

A life -changing experience.

Not just a quick fumble on the dance
floor in Café Benidorm at four in the

morning. All right, boys.

All right.

It's your last day in set.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, well, I'm not going to waste any
more time.

Are you up for it or what?

Excuse me? I'm not talking to you, I'm
talking to him.

He's not into one night, Dan.

Fair enough.

But if you change your mind, I guarantee
you such an unbelievable night. Not

only will you lose the power of speech
for several hours after, you'll find it

difficult to walk for a good 20 minutes
too.

Are you serious?

Oh, yes.

Believe me, Joey, you think your hair's
standing on end now?

You ain't mean nothing yet.

Where you going?

Where do you think I'm going? You said
sex has to be a life -changing

experience, and that sounds pretty life
-changing to me.

And listen,

what's happening about you moving down
south to work?

Yeah, I'm thinking I'm not going to
bother now. No?

No. Cost of living is mental down there,
eh?

It's not as cheap as it is.

So, you're going to go back to uni?

No, no.

Still going to take a year out.

Maybe change courses.

I think you've had a lucky escape from
it.

Yeah? Yeah, man.

My dad ain't too bad with me, but then
again, I'm his son. But he could be a

right bastard at work.

Really? Yeah.

It's that short man syndrome, isn't it?

Angry little geezer with a chip on his
shoulder.

Just don't want to be working for him.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks for the gig, Jacqueline. It's
great.

How was the swingers' party?

Interesting. But we decided to swerve
the finger buffet.

Well, if you boys fancy a nibble later,
you know I've got a soft spot for Woody.

Oh, my God, I love this one.

I never thought I'd miss you Or half as
much as I do

And

I never thought I'd feel this way

The way I feel about you Not since the
finger buffet

It's like a wet weekend in Wigan all
day.

It's my dad.

Oh, is everything all right?

He can't come back from the UK. He has
to stay there.

What?

Why didn't you say something?

Is it his health?

No. He owes some money. Well, lots of
money.

Oh, who to?

Oh, it's not a loan shark, is it?

Worse than that. It's the taxman.

How much does he owe?

Lots. Thousands.

Tens of thousands.

He went back home to visit a mate in
hospital and someone grasped him up. He

never paid tax in the UK.

That's why he came to Spain over 20
years ago.

They've taken his passport off him.

Now I have to make a decision.

Do I stay here or do I go back to the UK
to be with me dad?

Well, whoever they are, they're going
down very well.

It's madness.

You must have heard of madness, man.

I must say, this tune does ring a bell.

Come on, Miss Temple Savage. Even in
Spain, madness are huge.

This is one holiday these people is
never going to forget.

Oh, Retail, I've got some great news.
You're going on secondment.

What does this mean?

The Solana Group needs someone to work
on a world cruise for six weeks.

This is a joke, no? No joke, Retail.
You're going to travel the world all in

first class.

Oh, Miss Temple Savage, I don't know
what to say.

You'll be going with Crystal Hennessy
Vance.

What? Wait, no!

Please, Mr. Presavage, no.

Sorry, Matea, but she's very angry about
what happened today. We need to give

her what she wants.

But I know what she wants, and I do not
want to give it to her.

I'm sorry, Matea. My hands are tied.

So will be mine.

Mr.

Presavage, please.

In Spain, we have a saying. Do not stand
in the mouth of the sea during the

storm, or she will swallow you up.

And we have a saying, too, Matea. It's
called taking one for the team.

Where's Monty?

Oh, he's gone. Where's he gone?

I don't know. He said something about
Newton.

Monty?

Joyce.

Where are you going?

I need to make a decision in my life.

And I need to make it now.

I'm sorry I put you on the spot, but if
I don't make a change now, I never will.

I don't know what to say.

Just say yes or no, Joyce.

Will you marry me?

It must be love, love, love. You got it.

It must be love, love, love. Amore,
amore.

It must be love, love.