Original subtitles

Right, well, if anybody asks your temporary acting manager, trust me to be

while all this is going on.

Don't worry about it, Miss Temple Savage.

You're lucky I'm here. I'm going to take good care of the place till you get

back. It's only 24 hours. What could go wrong?

The hotel has been robbed.

What? What are you on about?

All the alcohol from the bar, it has been taken. Calm down, man. I shifted it

this morning. I've locked it in the supplies cupboard. Why would you do

Because I asked him to. As you well know, Mateo, today is San Lorenzo's day.

San Lorenzo.

We do not bother with this.

Well, we do this year.

The authorities are really cracking down on it.

There is to be no alcohol served across the whole of Benidorm for the entire

duration. And I'm afraid the Solana will be no exception.

Ha!

I see.

Give me the key. What? You do not want to listen to her.

She's crazy in the head.

If we do not give the guests alcohol, they will be revolting. I can still hear

you now.

Neville, do I need to come back?

No, don't you worry about it, Miss Capital Savage. I'm in charge.

The only thing you will be in charge of is my funeral when the alcoholics have

been tearing me limp from limp.

You seem to have a very dim view of the type of guests this hotel attracts.

Yes, I have met them.

Oh, madre mía, party of the fence.

You meet a key. No.

You have doomed us all.

Hi. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

How's the head?

If that was an attempt to try and make me regret my hangover, I'm afraid you're

somewhat premature.

I am, in fact, still quite, quite drunk.

Oh, Pauline, you were doing so well. Thank you. That means a lot.

Why is there nobody manning the bar?

Probably because that's a recycling bin.

Oh.

Oh, just leave one.

It's half eight in the morning, for heaven's sake.

Well, I'm going to go and grab a spot at the bar anyway before the queues start.

Recycling bin.

Right.

Oh, son.

I know, Mother.

I know.

No, no, Thursday's no good to me. It has to be tomorrow.

Here he comes, look. Gordon Gekko.

Gopher.

What? Gordon the Gopher.

Right, we'll cancel the whole thing.

No, no, I'm sorry. If it can't be tomorrow, it is no use to me.

There's nobody on the other end, you know. He just was about to impress us.

Believe me, Kenneth, I wish that was true.

I need to ask a favour. I need you to head out into the old town and come back

with a photographer and two hot models.

Right.

You're supposed to be providing the whipped cream and the rubber truncheon

yourself, will you? I'm serious, Kenneth. The adverts for the Soho Salon

supposed to go to the local papers tomorrow, and the agency I was using has

pulled out.

You know the grand opening's next week. My back's against the wall here.

That'll be a first.

It doesn't have to be gallery -worthy. It's just tasteful. I'm sure you can

a couple of lads off the doors in town to model.

100 euros each should do it.

Plus what? Say, 200 for a photographer.

Did you say there'd be a finder's fee?

No, I did not.

Oh, strange.

I thought they had mention of 150 euros.

Oh, well.

Fine.

But you need to get going now.

I need to send these by nine o 'clock tonight.

I, er... Yeah, it's me. I need you to assemble the whole team for a conference

call in exactly 30 minutes.

But they're getting on with you, love. Eh? Didn't he say we have to get going?

Oh, no, I'm not fanning around the old town all day for this. We'll do it here.

What? Well, you're good with a camera. There's a hotel full of people out

There's bound to be a couple of lookers amongst them.

Kenneth? Liam, I'm thinking of Troy. He's chucking money around like a

I'm not having some complete stranger take advantage of him.

Best to have a close personal friend do it, eh?

Ow!

Hurry.

What do you think you're looking at?

I don't know, but it's looking back.

Oh, very good. The old ones are the best, aren't they, Eddie? Is that what

keep saying to yourself?

Oh, don't start you to, please.

I'm not started anything.

She's the one who started something.

She's nicked my sunbed.

Dad. You've only just come down.

I know I've only just come down, but it's still my sunbed.

Oh, yeah? How do you figure that?

Because it's the one I were on yesterday and the day before and the day before

that. Here, Grandad, just have this one next to me.

No offence, lad. I don't want that one next to you.

It's a matter of principle now.

Well, I'm not moving, so you'll just have to stand there, won't you?

I will just stand here.

Stand there, then.

I will. Oh, for God's sake!

Can we not just have one day without you two squabbling like toddlers?

Right, Rob.

Grab your gear.

What? Why were we going?

Out. You, me and Dad.

Sharon's right. If you two can't play nice, then you obviously have to be

separated. Besides, we've been here a week and we haven't had lads out in yet.

Now you're talking.

And no, Dad, that doesn't mean we're going to a strip club.

Oh, right.

Oh, I get you.

Of course it doesn't.

Right, come on.

Why do I have to go?

Well, you don't have to.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Do you know, I want to mind it, but it's my special day today and not one of

them said anything.

Well, maybe, Mum, that's because most normal people don't celebrate the

anniversary of their divorce.

Best day of my life, Sharon.

Best day of my life.

Service!

Service!

Service!

Pauline, it doesn't matter how much you bang, if nobody's there, then nobody's

going to answer.

Service!

So, me and my mum have been talking and we thought it might be nice if we got

out and did something together.

You know, as a family.

Ridiculous.

I bet if we looked, we'd find somewhere that does bingo.

What? Nobody says anything about bingo. I hate bingo.

Well, Pauline doesn't. Oh.

She loves bingo, don't you?

Remember, I used to take you when you were only a little girl.

Oh, and you were so happy, sat there helping me to mark off all

the numbers.

It's a nice house.

House, Mummy. Can I outhouse?

You were always so excited.

I faked it.

Pauline. No.

Every time.

You've got to text Matthew.

From Malcolm.

Why won't you answer your phone? We need to talk about last night.

What happened last night?

How should I know?

Should you happen to recall having a heated text row with your boyfriend at

three in the morning?

No. You did.

Which culminated in you dumping him.

I did it.

I actually finally did it.

I'm free.

It's called for a drink.

There it is.

Mother.

What's wrong, bro?

We're stone broke.

There's no girls here under 90.

And neither of us packs enough clothes.

I know, bro.

I've even started wearing my boxers back to front to save on washing.

You mean inside out?

Oh, yeah.

That would make more sense.

Well, I say we just cut our losses and spend the next two days chillaxing and

catching rays.

Bruv! What? Oh.

My.

Day.

I take back everything I just said.

Looks like things have just parked up. No.

You don't think they know it's from there, do you?

Do you mind? There happens to be a queue here.

Oh.

I see you're celebrating.

Well, I'm trying to.

Then we shall drink together.

I too am celebrating.

Celebrating what?

The fact that you'll never have to hear the name Malcolm Barrett ever again.

The Thelana Benidorm, please.

Well, at least some good came out of all this.

I mean, that Malcolm guy was obviously bad news from the off.

We all knew that.

Oh, this is useless.

It's like looking for a jaffa cake in a field full of cowpats.

Oh, very colourful.

Must be two vaguely human -looking people here somewhere.

Bingo.

Come on, then.

You know she only said it to hurt you, eh?

She couldn't have really faked it, not every time.

I don't mean... tweets drop. But if it makes you feel any better, in my

experience, lots of people fake it.

Sometimes out of politeness.

Sometimes because they're tired.

And sometimes just to drown out the noise the ones on the sofa are making.

We were talking about bingo.

We appear to be so embarrassed.

Well, what are they playing at? It's my divorce -aversary today. I need to get

trolled. Ah, a gay divorcee.

Congratulations.

I myself am recently separated.

Why are we waiting?

Why are we waiting? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I cannot do this. Oh, no, you

don't. Come on. Someone's got to tell them.

Why can that someone not be due? Huh?

that you are still you here. You should be trying to build your metals.

Aye, well, that's what it may be. But unfortunately, Miss Temple Savage

appointed me deputy acting manager, which means I'm afraid I get to

responsibilities onto others.

Well, I do not want you discharging yourself onto me.

What's going on?

Mateo here is too scared to go and tell them women there's no booze on.

No booze on?

Aye. St. Lorenzo's day, which means ni drinking, ni partying, ni having fun, by

law.

Oh, shit.

What's up with her?

I don't know. We'll go and see.

Come on, come on, come on.

Let's do this.

All right, lads.

How do you two feel about a couple of fancy haircuts?

You see, I run the hotel salon, so it'll all be completely free of charge, of

course. Why? What's in it for you?

Absolutely nothing.

I just want to take a couple of photos of you both afterwards.

Oh, you're not a creepy weirdo or anything like that. Promise.

What did you say that for?

What? You saying that I'm not a creepy weirdo makes me sound like a creepy

weirdo. No, it's actually for an advert for another salon of ours.

So you're saying you want to hire us as models?

Basically, yeah.

Absolutely, mate. No problem at all.

Yeah, all right.

Right. Well, we'll go and get set up and then one of us will come and get you

when we're ready.

I shall handle this.

Right, my good man.

We shall require... 20 -ish very small,

large vodkas and... It is not possible.

I beg your pardon?

Today there is no alcohol on the premises.

What? Please, do not hurt me. This is some kind of joke.

No, it is because of St.

Lorenzo. I don't care if it's because of Satan's bloody greed. See, we paid for

an all -inclusive beer.

On this day, it is the law. No alcohol to be served anywhere across Benidorm.

No! Look, I will not stand for this.

We, all of us, have come here today for one thing and one thing only.

To drink.

And no...

Every barman or dead saint is going to stop us. Because there's drink out there

somewhere in this town, and we are going to find it.

Follow me, ladies, and Mrs. Sally Ford.

Um, whatever it is, son, I don't want to know.

What? Come on.

What about that pollution?

I hope you don't mind me crying, but you really do seem quite upset.

I'm OK, love.

I'm just thinking about those times at the bingo.

With Pauline and that sort of... I always thought they were special

to her.

As they were to me.

Ignore me.

I'm just being a big silly.

You know how mums are.

Do you have children?

No.

Well, none that I know of, anyway.

You don't have to keep calling us, you know. I'm not checking up on you,

Neville.

But everything is OK, isn't it? Of course it is. I've told you, I'm running

tight ship.

What on earth was that?

I don't know. I think we might be picking up a bit of local radio.

Turn the laptop round, Neville. I want to see the reception.

All right, no problem, but I'm warning you, the battery's getting a bit low, so

you might just suddenly... Excuse me.

Did you just see a large crowd of singing women enter with you? No, pal. I

completely missed them.

Yes, well, can I help you? Yes, you can. Malcolm Barrett one night. I rang this

morning. Right, you are too. Thanks.

All right.

Yes, fine. Thanks, you.

Cracking.

And there's your key.

Enjoy your stay.

Thanks very much.

Mateo! Them lads we were talking to earlier, where have they gone?

Into town.

All of the guests have gone into town.

It is a San Lorenzo Day miracle.

No, it's bloody not.

Liam, go after them and bring them back here. If we don't get these photos done,

Troy's going to kill us.

Worse than that, he's going to want his money back.

How's that worse than killing us?

Oh, will you just go?

Bloody hell.

Mother, I need to speak to you.

In private.

Can it not wait, son?

Jacqueline here just offered to take me to find a bingo hall.

She said it's very important that I should get laid.

What? Lay the ghost, I said.

Although, this is important.

Something's happened.

Oh, no.

What is it?

I don't know how much more I can take today.

Nothing.

It's nothing.

You go. Have fun.

I'll see you this evening, son.

Why can it not always be like this?

Like what?

No guests.

Well, you might find things get a tad rowdier later tonight.

What do you mean by this?

Still alive, then, I see.

What's going on?

I was going to tell you earlier. Look, it's not my fault, okay? I'd never heard

of St. Lorenzo Day. I just knew you had all these live acts on and... What have

you done?

Sold a few tickets around the town.

When I say tickets, I mean Solana wristbands all inclusive, and when I say

few, I mean... about a hundred.

Oh, Dios mio.

Are you trying to tell us there's going to be an extra 100 people here tonight,

all expecting free booze? Have you any idea what you've done to them?

Hey, hey, hey, what is this ass, huh?

You are the deputy acting manager.

Ah, yeah, well, hang on. The thing about that is... No, no, no, no. This is what

you said.

Aye.

Aye, I did, didn't I?

All right, you win.

St. Lorenzo's Day is cancelled.

Booze is back on the menu. But Temple Savage never gets to hear a word of

Understood? Yeah.

OK, good. Give me the key.

Yes,

of course.

How long does this usually... I don't exactly keep a timetable, do I?

No. I don't reckon I'll be making a reappraisal till me 7am constitutional.

Well, then, we're going to have to buy books from somewhere, aren't we? Where?

I thought the whole point of today was that nobody's selling anything.

Well, I do know this one guy.

No.

So you want to know if Mr. Wu has any happy juice to sell you?

Today?

When there's none to be sold across the whole of Benidorm?

Well, yeah.

So do you.

Does a frog have a watertight bum?

Well,

any joy?

Ah, time stories everywhere else.

Come on then, illustrious leader, what now?

I think I'm sobering up.

Sobering... You mean you had drink all this time you've been holding out on us?

No. No, I was... I was still drunk from last night.

Brilliant. This is ridiculous.

Come on, Mum.

We may as well go back to the hotel.

No, I'm not giving up now.

We might have lost a captain, but we've still got a general.

Some place somewhere around here must be defying this stupid law. I want us all

to split up.

Search every alley and side street and meet back here in five minutes.

Do

you

speak Spanish?

Well, I had to learn a few safe words once, but not really now.

How do you do, ladies?

You are wanting to play the bingo, Jay? That's right.

You know, of course, it's very risky today.

Oh, no, it's fine.

We've both played it before.

Okay. I have somewhere you can come. Ten euros.

This is Mr. Wu's special brew.

Very strong, but very expensive.

20 euro a bottle. Oh, wait, man. Surely you can do us a bit of a deal. No deal

required.

It not need much to make party go with.

Flippin' heck, you're not joking, are you? You could strip a tattoo with that.

Oh, yeah.

That'll do the business all right.

We'll take three bottles.

Call your jet supplier.

Mr Wu's Special Brew only sold in boxes of 30.

Eh? What?

Or you could just go and buy somewhere else.

Oh, no, that's right. You can't, can you?

Reagan, your profit margin's just gone down.

Pauline, welcome.

I've been hunting everywhere for you.

Come on.

We need to get back to the old town.

Everyone, we've got a lead on a potential speakeasy.

Let's move out.

Oh, thank God.

I was actually going to have to endure this hangover.

Listen, we have to get back to the hotel.

Get your hands off me this instant.

Malcolm's here.

Here, in Benidorm.

Quickly, ladies, quickly.

Very good.

This way.

We know all about your little operation, you know.

You do?

Yeah, and we want him.

All right.

Thank you, ladies.

This way.

There you are.

What are you doing? We need to get you back for your photo session.

All right, mate, calm down. We're still up for it. We're just going to have a

quick drink with these girls first. There's no time for that, plus no way of

selling alcohol today anyway, so... This place is.

Tag along if you like.

Cheers, buddy.

Hello?

Hello?

Neville? Hello?

Hello?

Hello, anyone?

Hello?

Hello?

Excuse me.

If you're wanting alcohol, you will have to wait. It is on its way.

I most certainly do not want any alcohol. I haven't had a drink for two

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just assumed you were from England.

What? No, look, I'm looking for someone.

I wonder, have you seen this person?

Ah, yes.

I know this woman, but she doesn't normally look like this.

So what's that supposed to mean? What does she normally look like?

More a...

Yeah. Excuse me, that woman is actually my fiancée, you know.

No. And you say you do not drink?

You simple savage!

Is that the Bermuda Triangle?

Look, let's just have one drink, OK? And then we really do need to get back.

Oh, absolutely.

OK, then, everybody.

Here we are going, eyes down for the full house.

Bingo! Oh, he's cheating. We haven't even started yet.

Now can we go?

You're too right we can. And don't forget, everybody, today's that special

jackpot of 100 euro.

Well, one quick game won't hurt, I suppose.

I

wish

I'd had the drunken sense to bring my passport out with me now. I could

Get a taxi to the airport, go home.

Colin, you can't keep running away from things.

In a way, isn't that what you do when you're drinking?

Oh, very insightful.

Did you get that from Jeremy Kyle?

No.

I think it was an old Ricky Lake.

Look, what exactly is this bloke's deal?

I mean, don't get us wrong.

If I'd been dumped by a text at three in the morning, I'd be a bit nonplussed

myself, but for them to fly out here like that...

With you coming home in a couple of days anyway.

He's obsessed with me.

Really?

Yes, Jeff, really.

It is possible for a man to be obsessed with me, you know.

Why do you think I could never finish with him when I was sober?

Because every time I tried, he'd start with his nonsensical new -age

psychobabble guff until he finally convinced me that I actually needed him

again.

I'm not being funny, but he just sounds a little bit Charles Manson -y.

You're not dangerous, is it?

No.

Well, I don't think so.

No, I think he genuinely thinks he's helping me. It's just that he does it in

kind of weird, creepy, controlling, borderline

cult leader type way, that's all.

Oh, well, if that's all.

I'll talk to him.

Tonight, I will.

Well, I'll come in with you.

Are you?

Yeah, of course.

Pauline, you're my sister. I'm always going to be there for you, eh?

Just to be clear, though, you definitely said not dangerous, right?

My hero.

Three and eight, 38.

Two quacky quacks, 22.

On her own, number eight.

King of the Castillo, nine, zero.

All of the three, 33.

Come on, come on, come on.

What do you want?

I'll tell you what I want, young man. I want to know where the hell you are and

why you haven't brought those two morons back here yet so that we can... Yeah,

we're coming, we're coming.

Let's go away.

What did he just say? Did he say 47?

Stop!

Stop what you're doing. Everybody.

Nobody's doing that. We're just playing bingo.

It is illegal to gamble on the day of San Lorenzo.

Everybody here, under arrest.

Yeah, yeah, I think we're going to be a little bit longer than I thought.

So, it wasn't your classic lads outing, but how was I supposed to know all the

bars were shut today?

Anyway, we still found lots of fun things to do, didn't we?

Fun things to do?

I thought you were taking me to a nudie show instead of ending up with your

chuffing balloon tied to a string.

Oh, well, give it here if you don't want to. No, no, I didn't say that, did I?

Well, I suppose you've had more of an exciting day than Mum and Nana.

I still don't know how we ended up buying two boxes.

Oh, have a dark time, William. We're lucky we didn't come back with some

beans and all.

Where have you been? Miss Temple Savage is back. What? Yeah, she has been here

hours, going in and out of all the rooms trying to find someone.

Now she's outside doing a full circle of the perimeters. Oh, bloody hell.

I did the interception.

I followed her this whole time.

But do not worry, I did not let her see me.

Eh? Why not?

I was thinking perhaps if she thought no one was here, she would go her way.

She's not a Jehovah's Witness.

Go, go, go.

And if the police come calling, we'll just tell them we've been here all day.

They can't prove anything.

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Oh, Miss Dempsey Savage.

Miss Temple Savage.

Miss Temple Savage, what a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you

the flesh until tomorrow, so to speak.

Yes, well, after that strange call we had this morning, I thought I'd

Just a minute.

Where have you all been?

Sorry, I don't follow you.

Well, you weren't here before.

Before what?

Before... Well, before... And where are all the guests?

It's like a ghost ship out there.

Well, it has been a bit of a quiet day, really, I suppose.

Quiet?

The entire place is completely deserted.

OK, you might. You don't believe me. Fine. Follow me.

Oh, really?

I don't know what kind of game you think you are playing, but as you can clearly

see, the whole place is... I

don't... Oh, I think perhaps you are tired from your journey, yes? I don't

tired. I...

But I don't... I reckon the best thing you can do is head off to bed, get a

night's kip and come back tomorrow as fresh as a little daisy.

Perhaps you're right.

I tell you what, man, I reckon we got through today by the scale of what

It is not over yet.

Our way will be found now.

Right, Sam's explained to you what you did with these cocktails, yeah?

I know what I am doing with the cocktails.

You're a good lad.

I believe it.

My wife, the outlaw.

She's so... sexy.

Oh, I see.

When she gets in trouble with Bobby, it's sexy.

But when I do... Is it about that time you got done for public urination?

Oh, of course, sure.

We've all done it.

Not on the back seat of a National Express, we haven't.

Well?

Well, what?

Are you going to move or what?

I don't know what you mean.

You know fine well what I mean, Eddie Dawson. You're sitting on my chair.

Oh, I don't believe it.

Okay, you know what? Fine.

I'll go and sit over there.

I'll be the bigger person.

Oh, no, you don't.

If somebody's going to be the bigger person around here, it's me.

You can have your stupid chair.

I'll go and sit over there. No, I don't want it now.

Well, neither do I.

Fine. Fine.

They're doing cocktails over at the bar so I thought I'd bring you some by way

of an apology.

Really, I'm sorry, Kenneth.

I didn't know I had a gambling problem until today.

Look, mate, can't we just do this tomorrow?

No, we bloody well can't.

I've already spent off me commission getting you lot out of the clink.

If I don't get these cups and shots done in the next hour, I'll lose the rest of

it too.

Right. Drink this. Sit back and think of England.

I don't drink.

No? You're lost.

Should you really be doing that?

Bloody Nora.

Off they put her neck.

Castle GTX.

Oh, yeah.

Right. Liam.

After them scissors.

Which one?

Middle. one.

Right. And back.

But I swear you're giving me a heart attack.

It's like you're always there in the corners of my mind.

Sorry the bingo didn't help the way at all.

But I was starting to enjoy it before we had to run down that back alley and

hide in that scape. Yeah.

But I suppose even before all that, it wasn't the same.

Sorry, I do beg your pardon.

That's quite all right.

What's it like, young man?

Go on, my son.

Oh, do you have to?

Mind you, you've picked a good one.

Oh, of course, yeah. His daughter and men are renowned for our dating women.

That is very true.

Speaking of which, have you noticed we are actually on our own for once?

What do you say to an early night?

You're joking, aren't you?

And leave those two alone together. They'll end up killing each other.

Don't say anything.

Let's not tempt fate here.

Whatever it is, I'm sure it won't last.

Let's just move slowly and calmly towards the exit.

We should go down to the bath.

It's packed to the rafters tonight, so he's bound to be there looking.

It's mineral water, okay?

Try it if you don't believe me.

No, I believe you.

You ready for this?

I spent the last hour psyching myself up, going to my happy place.

It's something they teach you in rehab.

You ignore your surroundings and let your mind wander off somewhere you feel

safe and happy.

The one place you truly belong.

In your case, for example, that greasy burger calf off the Bolton Ring Road.

You do realise I'm trying to support you there, don't I?

Looks

like

they're having a good night, then. I'm not surprised.

Hey, where did you get them?

The bar.

And Mateo says we've got through 30 bottles already.

It was not hard. To be honest, I'm not sure we have enough.

Enough? Mateo, how much are you putting in each glass?

The usual.

The usual? Man, it's supposed to be half a teaspoon.

This stuff has more punch than an atom bomb. Look!

Uh -oh.

I should probably not take this man his pint, then.

Pint? Give me that.

Pauline.

Don't.

Now, I know what you sent me last night was a cry for help.

That's why I came.

I'm going to get you through this, Pauline, just like I always do.

Don't hate yourself for what you've done.

Now, go upstairs, pack your bags.

I booked us both a flight home first thing tomorrow morning.

Um, excuse me.

She's not going anywhere with you.

Sorry, you are?

I'm her brother.

Ah. If you want to get to her, you've got to get through me.

In the interest of her play, I think you should tell me now if you happen to be

proficient in any martial arts tricks.

It's fine, Jeff. I don't need protecting.

Oh, now, Pauline.

You know, that's not true.

You've always needed protecting, but... Not from me.

Come on, bully, say it with me.

Who do you need protecting from?

Myself. Right.

Come.

What are you doing?

Mind your backs, lads and lasses, coming through.

No, no, hang on, pet. No, don't play. No, hang on, pet.

Oh, bloody hell.

I thought I told you we were finished.

Jeff. Pauline.

What's going on?

Nothing, Mum.

Malcolm was just leaving.

Malcolm?

Going to get an early night.

Got to catch a plane first thing tomorrow.

By himself.

Well, let's just hope I don't oversleep a method.

Could be here for days, then.

I did it.

I told him to his face.

And I was completely sober.

earth have you two been doing um i think we were celebrating celebrating what

your great photography assignment success because you should be i got the

10 minutes before the deadline talk about cutting it fine but definitely

the wait those stylings kenneth taking a classic 50s pompadour and cornrows and

giving them that urban twist couldn't get more so if it tried

Anyway, just had to come straight over and tell you. And since you did so well,

I'm going to turn a blind eye to whatever exactly this is. So just make

clean round and lock up when you're done.

And thanks.

Really, thanks.

You are both absolute lifesavers.

Do you follow any of that?

No.

When I'm here to...

Tiger, you are definitely certain we don't look silly?

Well, you might, mate, but I don't think I've ever looked horrible.

She

always

looks so peaceful when she's asleep, doesn't she?

Apart from the bit of dribble.

Yeah.

Don't you worry about it tonight, old kid.

You'll go to your happy place.

Yeah, happy place.

Two fat ladies.

What did she call us?

34.

17.

Finger.

What's she doing?

What do you think she's doing?

She's gone to her happy place.

I don't know if she ever really felt happy.

And safe.

And protected.

Protected my heart.

She's 12.

24.

And I shout house, Mummy.

My beautiful baby girl. You can shout out

whenever you like.