Original subtitles

Barnaby Jones, a Quinn Martin production, starring Buddy Ebsen.

Also starring Lee Merriweather, with guest stars Leslie Charlson,

Frank Marth, Robert Hogan,

special guest star Tim O 'Connor.

Tonight's episode, Honeymoon with Death.

No one would notice if we slipped out now. Oh.

Now, how often does the girl get married?

That's not Russia.

I want to remember this for a long time.

You happy?

What do you think?

I think I'm going to love being married.

I've known Dwight since he was a...

Ooh, this high, Victoria.

And I cannot imagine him coming up with a prettier bride than you.

Well, thank you, May.

That wedding picture in the paper this morning was pretty, but nothing compared

to the real thing.

You're a lucky man.

Ain't it the truth?

What'd I tell you?

Is something wrong?

You promised you wouldn't print that picture.

Picture?

Hey, that's right, yeah.

Well, I didn't.

And I told them not to.

Flora, that wedding picture.

I thought I specifically told you that it should not be published.

Oh, you really didn't mean that, boss.

Stop being so modest, both of you.

Just consider it a wedding present from the staff of the Holbein Journal.

Oh, a Los Angeles paper picked it up, too.

Flora, when I tell you not to do... Never mind, Dwight.

Let's just go, okay?

Okay, Susan.

Hold it, you two.

Do I, please? Oh, sure. You go on. I'll be there in a minute.

Something wrong, right?

Oh, no, Sheriff.

Vicki's just anxious to get going.

Have you seen this girl around here?

Yeah, I didn't think you'd be wanting another interview so soon, especially on

your wedding day.

I thought you'd be on your honeymoon.

What's wrong?

She's gone, Barnaby. My wife.

She drove off right after the wedding.

Are you telling me that your wife drove off without you?

I know how it sounds.

They're all giving me the horse laugh back in town, but it is no joke.

She went in to get out of her gown, and instead she took off in my car.

It has been four hours.

Well, in my day...

They had an expression, I think it was called, uh, wedding night jitters.

I thought of that, too, but Vicki isn't an old -fashioned girl in that sense.

You don't have to be old -fashioned to have second thoughts about marriage

days. But that doesn't explain why she was so upset about having a picture in

the paper.

You mean that wedding picture you printed?

She never explained why, but she just made me promise that it would not be in

the paper. My staff didn't listen and then ran it anyway.

When did she see the picture?

Just before she took off.

Barnaby, she was scared.

I could see it in her face.

You check everywhere?

Her apartment?

Friends?

She's disappeared completely.

Barnaby, you know I wouldn't bother you on your vacation unless it was so

important.

Well, I'll tell you what we do. We go over to your office, and if she hasn't

tried to contact you by now, I'll check into it for you.

Hold on to your horses, lady. I'm coming.

I'll fill it up with premium.

Does that phone work?

Yeah, if you got a dime.

Don't worry about being late, though. Just keep the groom waiting a little.

He'll stay on his toes more afterward.

Then you don't know anything about her. You never asked her anything about her

family? No.

And when I started to ask, well, she didn't say so in so many words, but,

I could tell she didn't want me to question her.

Didn't that make you a little curious?

To tell you the truth, Barnaby, she was a dream that walked in my office two

months ago, and I've been afraid that she'd go poof ever since.

Holbein Journal.

Just a moment, operator.

Mr. Kincaid, Victoria, collect.

Well, what are you waiting for? Accept the charges.

You see, I told you, she got over the jitters.

Yes, operator, we'll accept.

Oh, Vicki?

Dwight? Oh, Dwight.

We've been worried sick.

Are you okay?

Where are you?

I'm in a phone booth in a gas station.

Dwight, I'm sorry, but maybe I can explain.

Go on, go on, Vicki.

Operator?

Operator, I've been cut off.

Come on now, Vicki.

I'll scream.

Oh?

And who's going to come running to help you?

That old man?

You don't really want to see him get hurt now, do you?

But the people I was talking to, they're going to be worried about me.

Huh?

Well, what about Mr. Fannin?

Don't you think he's worried about you? He's worried sick.

Do I worry about me?

Listen now, he's had us looking all over for you since you took off.

Well, Toby, call him up and let him know we found her. Then get a car out of

here. Come on.

Her name is Lily Mendicant, Miss Lily.

Operator. Miss Lily?

Yes?

We had a collect call here a little while ago, and we were cut off.

I wonder if you could give me that number.

Well, no.

Let me look it up.

It was a collect call.

You should... Let's see.

Yes, I have it right here.

555 -7781.

555 -7781.

Thank you. You're welcome. Where would that call have come from?

Well, then that would be Hayden's Gas Station in Packerville. I see. Hayden's

Gas Station in Packerville.

Mr. Fannin?

Mr. Cross? Where is she? When Toby called, I suggested we rent something in

area, something secluded, so we'd get what we've come for.

Yeah, I found a place in the hills.

Toby's there with her now.

Did she say anything?

No, sir.

I'm afraid that cooperation's not going to be one of her middle names.

How did you find her?

There was a picture in one of the L .A. papers.

I started tracking it down and... What picture?

Mr. Fannin, Victoria was married this morning.

You're telling me that fellow wasn't her bridegroom?

Boy, sure had me fooled.

What kind of looking man was he? Tall man? Short?

Well, you mean the one that was dressed in the fancy cowboy outfit.

He had blonde hair. He was kind of tall. I had to look up to him.

About, I'd say, 40 years old.

In a cowboy outfit?

Barnaby, there was a man dressed like that back at the hotel.

There was?

During the reception.

He was in the lobby.

He buying a gas?

Yeah, 10, 12 gallons, something like that.

Are you paying cash or a credit card? Credit card.

Here's your receipt, sir.

Yeah, you want to see it?

Just a second.

Let's see.

What kind of a car was it?

A station wagon.

That's not it.

Oh, here.

This is the one.

Rail. Looks like Elliott Rail.

Doesn't ring a bell.

License number 965 -PCE.

I'll check this out.

Thank you very much.

Operator.

I'd like to make a collect call to area code 213.

Barney John's office, ma 'am.

Yes, operator, I'll accept the charges.

Oh, Betty, nice to find you in.

Oh, Barnaby, what's the matter?

Aren't the fish biting?

Well, the fish are biting, and that's not all.

Don't tell me that you got involved with something on your vacation.

Would you believe, right smack dab in the middle of a honeymoon?

Barnaby. Not mine.

I'll tell you about it when I see you.

Betty, I want you to check a license number, 965 -PCE.

It's a station wagon, a driver's name, Elliot Rail.

R -A -I -L.

Barnaby, if you have all this, why do you need me?

Because I need Mr. Rail's address and anything else you can take up. I'll get

right on it.

Thanks.

Fine. Mr.

Fannin.

Good to see you, sir.

Where's Victoria?

In the upstairs bedroom.

She can't get out.

This way, sir.

Just go around back.

Away she went, like a thief in the night.

How else was I going to get away from you?

Well, you could have come to me, said thanks, but no thanks, and left without

any hard feelings.

I wanted to.

I wanted to say a lot of things, but I couldn't.

In any way, you never would have let me go that easily.

Then Pete doesn't become you, my dear.

Even though you are one of the most sensational women I've ever seen in my

I do let go of things sometimes.

Especially when I'm being clawed and bitten.

By me?

Oh, I think you have me confused with one of your other women.

I've never been any good at drawing blood.

I didn't think I ever gave you reason to be good at anything like that.

You're good at enjoying life.

Jetting about the world.

tasting every luxury, meeting all the beautiful people, becoming one of them,

one of the most beautiful of them all.

Come on, Stu.

Save that for some other young starry -eyed fool.

I've already had your trip to Never Never Land.

Come off it.

You loved it, every minute of it.

Yes, I did.

Until I discovered I was just a sham, a fake.

Somebody you used to distract a gullible ambassador or finance minister while

you were conning them into signing over half their country's treasury to you.

Business is business.

And dog eats dog.

Only with you, the dogs are eating up all the wheat that's supposed to feed

starving natives.

And what about those cozy little oil deals and all the rest that you made me

part of?

My, my, my, my, my, my.

First conceit and now conscience.

But not so much conscience that you didn't figure a way to do a little

down on your own, eh?

What shaking down?

How does this Dwight Hicktown newspaper publisher figure into all of this

anyway? Are you by any chance planning to help this husband of yours become

famous? Dwight has nothing to do with us. Now you leave him out of it.

Stuart Fannin exposed as a crook.

Is that how you...

Picture the headlines to read?

Headlines? What are you talking about?

All right.

All right.

The book.

What book?

You are cute, aren't you?

My financial ledger.

Last year's figures.

The real ones.

Where is it?

Stuart, I didn't take any book.

You have the key.

You had access in my truck.

It disappeared the same night you did. What if that's supposed to be a

coincidence?

I'm waiting.

Yes, sirree. Interesting station wagon, eh? I can let you have this little fella

really cheap. Mr., uh...

Jones. Barnaby Jones. I'm a private investigator.

Private investigator? Have there been complaints?

Look, whatever it is, we can send.

No, no, nothing like that. I'm trying to track down a driver of this car.

I'm interested in the man who rented this wagon.

His name is Rail?

Ah, yes, Mr. Rail, yes. Mr. Rail brought this wagon back. Oh, it's been a couple

of hours now.

Insufficient for his needs, he transferred the rental to another car.

Another car?

Oh, a big luxury job.

He wanted one with a built -in bar. I couldn't help him there.

Did he leave an address?

Yes, sir. Yes, he did. He was staying at the Holbein Hotel, but along with his

fancy car, he wanted to get himself a fancy new address. He's out at the

Place. The Grover Place. Where would I find that?

Oh, well, now, that's Route 24.

That'd be the third right, then all the way to the end. It's the last driveway

on the left. You can't miss it.

Much obliged.

Mr. Jones, as long as you're in town, maybe you'd like to rent this nifty

sports job here. You know, private investigator.

You gotta think of your image.

You know something?

I gave up images a long time ago.

Along with my trench coat.

What can I do for you?

I'm looking for Elliot Rail.

That's right.

What for?

He wouldn't be Mr. Rail, would you? I hear that he likes to wear fancy Western

clothes like you're wearing.

Well, what's this all about?

I understand you got into a car with a lady named Victoria Kincaid in a gas

station in Packerville.

Oh? Now, where'd you get that?

What's the problem, Elliot?

How can I help you, Mr... Jones.

Barnaby Jones. I'm a private investigator.

I'm trying to locate a Victoria Kincaid. And your name?

Cross. Edward Cross.

Kincaid. Isn't that the woman you mentioned before?

Go on. Don't be modest.

Tell the man what a good Samaritan you are.

Oh, well, I promised that I wouldn't say anything.

She was running away from her husband, didn't you say?

Called her wedding a big mistake. That's right. That's right. She was very, very

upset. When Toby and I drove into the gas station, she asked us if we were

her way.

Toby? Oh, he's an associate of mine.

Oh.

Toby drove her car?

That's right.

Then we switched back about, oh, it must have been an hour.

She said she was feeling much, much better.

And she drove away in her own car?

That's right.

Last time I saw her, she was headed down 395, hugging that speed limit.

$3 .95. That would take her to San Bernardino.

And then after that?

Well, for that, you'll have to trace her through San Bernardino, won't you?

Now, if you don't mind, Mr. Rayl and I have some business to attend to.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Thank you for your help.

How's it going, Barnaby?

You find the missing bride yet?

She ought to be past San Bernardino by now.

Or, uh, what do you know about the Grover place?

The Grover place?

Yeah, Route 24.

It's up off the road to Packerville. What about it?

Uh, it'd be pretty expensive to rent, wouldn't it?

Well, not if you're working off your second gold mine.

Or somebody else's.

You talking about someone in particular?

Rail. Elliot Rail.

Name me that thing?

No.

Who is he?

I don't know.

Who would he have had to contact to rent that place?

Bryce Logan.

He'd be the real estate agent.

You want me to ask him?

Yeah. You know, the funny thing about this case, it gets more and more

expensive.

An ordinary station wagon turns into a luxury sedan.

A hotel room turns into the Grover place.

Have you heard of anyone very, very rich blowing into town lately?

No.

Except one of my deputies, Bud Spencer, says he saw some VIPs land today in a

helicopter.

Who were they?

I don't know exactly.

He said the chopper had a name on the side.

You want to get me Bud Spencer and his home, please?

You find anything?

Nothing.

Look, check in there again. It's got to be here someplace.

Why? Just because she was going to move in with this guy, that doesn't mean

she'd bring it in with her.

She's probably got it locked away someplace.

We'll talk about it later.

Okay.

Don't move Who are you

drop it

Let's get out of here

You

yeah What

I'll be right there white Kincaid's been shot

What do you make of it?

I'd say somebody was looking for something.

Cleaning him out, I'd say.

Whoever did the cleaning didn't sweep too well, or why would they have left

this?

Probably they were just getting started when he walked in on them. Just getting

started with all this mess?

Well, then what were they looking for?

That's a good question.

Ah, Mackie, Mackie, Mackie.

It's too bad that couldn't have been avoided.

What if he lived?

Can he identify you?

No. No way.

It was dark in there. He never got a real look.

All right.

You didn't find anything?

Nothing.

I don't think she ever hid it there.

Cross.

Ask Victoria if she'll have a drink with me.

In private.

Yes, sir.

want to see you what if i don't want to see him vicky please you really are the

perfect flunky aren't you ed what do you expect me to be do you want me to lose

my job give up the time and work i put in i didn't take anything when i left

it's not me you've got to convince can't you talk to him i've tried vicky i

really have he's waiting

You used to like the way I made old fashions.

Would this be kind to Victoria Treatment?

Please.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

You used to like a lot of things that I did.

Well, I was young then.

What girl that age wouldn't?

You were rich, powerful, a doer.

A little good -looking.

Yes.

And I was fresh off the campus, full of dreams.

I opened a few doors for you.

I showed you some rooms that you never knew existed.

I never thought life could be so fantastically exciting.

You remember the first time I took you to New York?

I don't think we ever slept. All the parties, people I had only read about.

I was happy then.

Indeed, I was.

You were, too.

That was then.

Well, nothing's changed.

I'm married.

You had a ceremony.

Ceremonies can be annulled. If you want them annulled.

I love him.

Can't you understand that?

All right.

If you give me back my ledger, I'll leave you to your Hicktown newspaper

Why can't you believe me?

You want money.

Is that it?

Why do you think everything has a price?

Because it does.

How much?

If I told you, would you let me go, no strings attached?

Just tell me where it is and you've got it.

In Dwight's house in Holbein.

Exactly where in the house?

Well, take me there. I'll show you.

I said where.

In Dwight's study in his desk. I'll get it for you.

You must think I'm a fool.

Cross!

Did you really think that I wouldn't have that house searched by now?

I'm turning her over for Toby, for real.

I'm tired of waiting. I want some answers.

Ready? What are you doing here?

I couldn't reach at the motel last night. I had all this fabulous research

I did on the medicine. I mean, you did ask for it. I see.

Anything to get out of the office?

What are you doing here?

Dwight Kincaid was shot last night.

Dr. Monroe?

Yes?

Anything new on Dwight Kincaid?

Not yet, I'm afraid. It's really too early to tell, especially after all

on the operating table.

I was hoping you'd have better news for me than that.

Well, he is holding his own.

That's not the worst thing in the world at a time like this.

Now, will you excuse me?

He shot him.

We don't know.

What do you got on the medicine company?

Well, first of all, it's a subsidiary of Helper Corporation.

One of the Fannin enterprises.

Stuart Fannin? Stuart Fannin.

That could explain a lot of things. Mr.

Rayhill, for instance.

And another one.

Well, what do you know about that?

Fannin's private secretary, Victoria Norris?

Then.

Nowadays, she is Mrs. Dwight Kincaid.

No wonder she got so upset when he printed her picture.

Do you think that's who she's running from, Stuart Fannin?

No, Betty.

I think it's Stuart Fannin, his founder.

I wish you'd let the sheriff in on this now.

I think I better get a little more information before I do something

embarrass everybody.

All right, but if you're not back here in 20 minutes, I'm going to bring the

sheriff back up here with or without your approval.

In 20 minutes, you'll have it.

Mr. Jones, wasn't it? Yeah.

I was under the impression that we'd answered all your questions.

Well, this time I thought I'd like to talk to Mr. Fannin himself.

Who?

Stuart Fannin, the man you work for.

Look, Mr. Jones, I don't see... Don't dig yourself a hole you can't get out

You're apparently a very good detective, Mr. Jones.

I'm Stuart Fanon.

Would you like to come in?

Yes, I'd like to talk to you about... About my secretary, Victoria, of course.

Next time we need a detective in Los Angeles, we call this man.

Victoria, this is Mr. Jones.

How do you do?

Sit down, sir.

Thank you.

Mr. Jones, didn't Dwight do an interview with you just a couple of days ago?

Yes, and then he hired me to find you.

Yes, I suppose I should have contacted him again to tell him the truth.

What is the truth?

The truth is I married Dwight, or had a ceremony.

Well, Mr. Fannin and I have rather explosive tempers.

And we had said some very unkind things to each other two months ago.

Am I making any sense?

You're saying you married Dwight to hurt Mr. Fannin?

Yes.

And before I knew it, there was my picture in that paper.

Could you imagine me in that small town for the rest of my life? Hardly.

Dwight could.

Yes, I know.

And that's why I tried to call him from the gas station to tell him.

But you hung up, or were you disconnected?

Oh, no, no.

I just wasn't ready to talk to him.

To tell him about you and Mr. Fannin?

Mr. Jones, do you know what Holbein is like? It's a... It's wonderland. It's

odd.

Well, sooner or later, you have to go back to reality, to things you're used

New York penthouses, private jets.

Mr. Jones, I'm... I'm sorry about Dwight. I'll... Contact him and

call him.

I hope he'll forgive me. If he recovers.

There are lots of other women, and he's a very attractive man.

I didn't mean recover from you, Mrs. Kincaid.

I meant recovering from a bullet somebody put into him last night.

Are you all right?

Oh, yes, I fell last night.

Well, was it serious? Will he be all right?

They don't know yet. It's still touch and go.

This is really very unfair of you, Mr. Jones, bringing this up right now, just

when Victoria has felt relieved about her choices.

I'm... I'm sorry, Mr. Jones. I'll... I hope he'll be all right.

As we all are, of course.

And now, if there's nothing further...

Well, I guess we don't have anything further to talk about thank you very

for your frankness anyway, it's man, mr.

Jones

You

were really quite good I would hate to have Toby shoot that man

I was just about to go for the sheriff.

I think that might not be a bad idea.

There's something going on back up there, isn't there?

I don't know.

According to our young runaway bride... You saw her?

Yeah, we had quite a talk.

The problem is to decide how much she means and how much they were forcing her

to tell me.

Forcing you?

In front of you? How?

Betty, when I told her about Dwight, the look in her eyes, she still loved him.

Barnaby, you're not going back up there, are you?

Her eyes didn't lie to me, Betty.

Fannin is holding her against her will.

The time has come when we've got to start thinking about her life.

All right, Stuart Fannin is a ruthless businessman, but he certainly wouldn't

kill her, would he?

She ran away once.

He went to great effort to bring her back.

And he obviously doesn't want to let her go.

That doesn't explain searching Dwight's place or putting a bullet in him.

Victoria has something that Fannin wants.

Barnaby, I'll be back in a half an hour with the sheriff.

I mean, it's not necessary for you to put yourself on the line.

All right, relax.

It'll take me half that long to circle back through the trees.

Here. All right.

Can

I

come in?

If Fannin doesn't know I'm here, Vicki, I came on my own.

It's gone way too far already. God only knows where it's going to stop.

I've never seen him like this. There's no telling what he'll do next.

After last night, killing me is about the only thing left.

That's what I mean.

If he does go off the deep end, that makes me an accessory.

And that's where I draw the line.

I'm getting you out of here before it's too late.

Was Rail out there and Toby?

Toby's out front.

I'll leave the door unlocked.

You go when I get Rail out of sight.

Meet me at the garage.

Ed, thank you.

Just the man I wanted to see. And where you been? Up there with her? Why?

Mr. Fannin's been looking for you.

Well, tell him I've been talking with her five, ten minutes more. I think

about to tell us.

We'll take your car down the back road. I think we can make it. Well, what about

you when Stuart finds out what you've done?

He won't find out.

I'll be back before he knows you're gone.

I saw that. Why did he do it?

Why did he run you down?

Book. What book?

Fanon's.

Ledger.

What are you going to do when they find out about Rail?

Don't worry about it.

You're not doing this to help me, are you?

Of course I knew you didn't take the book.

How could you take it when I took it?

You took it?

Well, you know how it is working for an unpredictable employer like Fannin.

I needed insurance, an edge.

Something to hold over him if he ever tried to fire me.

And all this time you let them think I had it.

Well, you just had the bad luck to leave the night I took it.

Now you've escaped, killed Rail, and disappeared.

They'll find your car here.

But this time the bad pennies never gonna turn up again

End

the line Victoria

Bye.

Is that a scoop or is that a scoop?

And when the Justice Department gets through with his ledger, he'll be lucky

he gets out in time to see the new century roll around.

You know, this could be Pulitzer Prize stuff.

Look what you do with the front page.

Fannin exposed up here, balanced down here by a picture of Fannin talking to

of his henchmen. And over here... And personal secretary.

That was the official title.

There was a lot more to it than that. It's all there.

You didn't have to.

Yes, I did.

When we go, you can read it and tell me what you want to do.

I've read it, and I know what to do.

Well, folks, if you'll excuse me, there's a lake full of fish out here

reel and I have been neglecting.

Barnaby, do you remember the Dichter murder case?

Yes.

Well, you had said that you were coming back into town tonight, so when they

called, I agreed to a meeting at 7.

You do.

Well, folks, see you next trout season.

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