Original subtitles

Barnaby Jones, a Quinn Martin production, starring Buddy Ebsen.

Also starring Lee Merriweather, with guest stars Anne Francis,

William Smithers, Daniel J. Trevanti.

Tonight's episode, Theater of Fear.

Love. Where do I find it?

In a kiss?

In a caress?

In the pain of flagellation?

Wrong, Shirley, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Agony.

Agony. The agony of flagellation.

Just checking in on my favorite star before turning out the lights.

Oh, Bert. Thank heaven it's you.

You sound a little bit unstrung.

You haven't been getting any more crack calls, have you? No, no. Not tonight. I

guess I'm just a little on edge.

Are you comfortable with the memorizing?

Yeah, almost.

The concentration seems to be coming back.

You see, I knew it would.

The last thing you did before... Go on, Bert. Say it before the fall.

Well, you know, the movies where you only have to memorize one line before

lunch. The stage separates the models from the magicians, my darling. You are

pure magic up on that stage.

I love you.

Keep talking.

Lou just called.

Yeah.

The theater is sold out for the entire run here, and New York will be the same.

I wish I'd had you around for the last three years.

Why don't you beat Agnes at some cribbage and take a hot bath, and I'll

at ten.

I'm just gonna have to settle for solitaire. Agnes is off tonight.

What do you mean?

Well, she's not exactly a babysitter, Bert.

Well, I didn't want you to be alone these last few nights, Cheryl.

Don't you worry. That wretched fox Agnes has put a pencil line at the booze

level of every bottle in the house.

Huh. It's funny I thought I closed that.

What's the matter?

Well, I guess the wind just blew open one of the doors downstairs.

Let me check, Bert, huh?

I think there's someone in the house.

Are you sure, Shirley? It could be Agnes.

No, no. Nobody answered.

All right.

Shirley, you stay there.

I'm going to have Carla get on this line. I'm going to get on the other line

call the police. We'll be right over. All right.

But, Bert, please hurry.

Shirley, hi. This is Carla.

Are you all right?

Operator, I want the police. This is an emergency.

Shirley?

Shirley?

Oh, please answer.

Look, just take whatever you want and leave.

I've called the police.

I've called the police. They'll be here any minute.

Shirley? I've called the...

Shirley!

Go.

It's all right.

It's all right.

I spoke to Lieutenant Biddle. The police feel it was a prowler. There have been

a number of those around here lately.

Are you sure that it was a prowler? Well, they thought it might have been

something more serious at first, but then when Miss Evans said it was she

grabbed the scissors, the lieutenant probably figured it was just a prowler

decided to try his luck elsewhere.

Well, I hope so, Mr. Jones. I dearly hope so. I hope that hiring you was a

complete waste of money.

Happens that way sometimes.

But I don't think so.

I've got the biggest show of this decade and the biggest talent of this century

opening in three days.

I hear trouble in the wings.

I think somebody's trying to sandbag my star.

Who?

That's what I'm hoping you'll find out.

Well, my next question is why.

Why?

Why would anybody want to keep Shirley Evans from making a comeback?

Lunacy.

The world is brimming with it.

Some nut probably wants to keep her from appearing again.

She kind of dimmed out fast in the last three or four years, didn't she?

Sure she dimmed out.

She lost both her parents by the time she was 21 years old.

She had two frightful marriages in five years. She was left with a daughter she

hardly ever got a chance to see.

She took pills to keep going.

Took pills to calm down.

She started drinking booze to make everything look pastel and pretty.

And then I think that accident in New York finally tore it.

Something about an unhappy ending to a Broadway party, wasn't it? Car she was

hit and killed another young woman.

Jail?

Thelonious driving charges?

Suspended sentence.

And there went her career.

All she needed was a transfusion of confidence and a great script and music.

rose like a phoenix.

Delicate bird to phoenix.

You think somebody declared open season?

How's she doing?

Anything but a delicate bird this morning, Mr. Parrish.

Mr. Jones, this is Ed Davis, our publicist. How do you do, Mr. Jones?

If they make it a routine prowler report, I doubt the press will even pick

it. Well, I certainly hope not.

Eddie, Mr.

Jones is a private investigator.

So now that you know that, forget I told you, okay?

Well, you didn't even have to say anything, Mr. Parrish.

You're blooming.

Orange juice.

The neutered screwdriver.

You're a good nurse, I know.

Nurse I ain't. I'm everything else around here but a nurse I ain't. She's a

warden. No such thing.

Shirley, this is Barnaby Jones.

Remember I told you about him? How do you do, Mr. Jones? How do you do?

Bert, you really are too much. I mean, a private dressing room, I expect, but a

private investigator.

Miss Evans, just think of me as a fan looking for somebody who may not be.

Okay. But really, I think probably it was just somebody who was after the

or the color TV.

Neither of which were taken.

Well, I should hope not.

I mean, if he was half as scared as I was, he's probably 10 pounds lighter and

halfway to China by now.

Why don't you sit down?

Thank you.

You say he.

Did you see him?

No, not really.

As I told the police, it was like a shadow. It all happened so fast.

Police seem to think maybe it was a teenage prowler.

Police don't know about the phone calls, Cheryl.

Mr. Parrish told me about your threatening phone calls. Nobody says

They just play a recording.

Well, it was a bad enough line when I had to say it in the film, but when

somebody plays it back to you on the phone, it gets pretty scary.

This was a recording of your voice?

Do you ever watch the late movies, Mr. Jones?

Constantly.

Do you remember you've destroyed everything of value you don't deserve to

That's a familiar ring.

Miss Evans, how many people have your phone number out here?

She has unlisted numbers on both lines, but everybody in the company, in the

press, they all have it by now.

That narrows it down considerably.

Miss Evans, from now on, I want somebody to be with you at all times.

Are you kidding? With this entourage?

Come on, let's get that piano player to work, huh?

Why don't you take it easy and rest today? I'll have Jill go through it with

cast. Oh, sure. And then on opening night, you can go out and tell the

that Shirley Evans just doesn't have the Heather Bloom number right yet.

But you just happen to have her understudy, Jill Mallory, who will

for you. All right.

All right.

Why don't you two run along and I'll stay around here and poke around a

if you don't mind.

Okay.

Hey, Mr. Jones.

You got to keep all the fingerprints you can find.

Thank you.

Shirley.

Shirley.

I got to talk to you. She doesn't want to talk to you. You got it, Kilgore.

Shirley. Get in the car, Shirley. Stop ordering her around.

Well, I'll order you around.

Now, leave her alone.

She doesn't need you anymore.

Drown yourself in a bottle if that's your style, but stay away from her.

Get in the car, Shirley.

look, I'd say you could tell me what that was all about.

Well, that's the trash my baby wound up with when she stopped listening to me.

Lloyd Kilgore. There used to be a famous running back by that name.

That's him.

Old mister used to be.

Big Super Bowl star.

He hurt his back, but always gonna be a big this or that.

The only big thing he'll ever be is a big drunk.

And that's who Miss Evans has been keeping company with the last two or

years?

Shirley's bright on all sides but one, the man side.

Those two louses she married just wanted her for a name.

She had a baby, a little girl.

Oh, has is what I've been reminding her.

If she's going to start acting again, she might as well include acting like a

mother.

Keeping that little girl in that boarding school, it just isn't right.

Agnes, you're sounding like you're not too happy about Miss Evans going back on

the stage.

I know it's just going to happen all over again.

I know it.

She just isn't ready.

If I had my way, she'd never go near that theater.

A little finesse, a little finagle, you're ordering toast

instead of a bagel. Ah, yes, you dropped the name of Rose

and a little bit off the nose.

shows.

You're the picture of a shiksa.

You're going places, Heather, so pack fast.

No, it's all right, Cheryl. It's coming beautifully.

I'm sorry, Bert. I'm sorry. I just get my mouth working and my feet stop.

Take ten.

Talk to your feet.

And it's gone, it's gone.

Better not let her hear you say that, Jill.

I'm better than she is.

I won't quote you, but it's only a short step from understudy to unemployment.

If she really knew who you are, you'd be fired in a minute.

Well, I've done my homework.

I know where all the bodies are buried.

I didn't mean it that way.

Ryan.

Lloyd. Honey, I've got to talk to you.

Lloyd, I told you, it's all over. Please, I need you.

Stop it.

Stop saying that.

Look, it's going to be different. You and I will go into business together.

Lloyd, please.

No more drunk dreams.

I made a mistake.

Leave me alone, please.

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, I thought I told you to stay away from her. Just get your hands off me,

creep. Hey, hey, burn!

Not that easy, baby.

Not that...

I

take it that's not part of the rehearsal.

An opening night, he could be a disaster.

I sure hope Mr. Parrish hasn't picked himself a falling star.

Uh,

eight ball off the cushion in the side pocket.

Not quite as good as a share of the Super Bowl, is it?

May I know you from somewhere?

Sure.

I'm the fellow you stiff -armed when you made your end run over at the theater.

Sue me.

Well, I don't want to sue you, Mr. Kilgore, but I would like to level with

So level.

Somebody's been trying to make a lot of trouble from Miss Evans lately.

I've been hired to find out who and to put a stop to it. Now, I have found that

sometimes... When you come right out and say it, trouble stops.

And I collect my money just as you do when you sink the eight ball.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Give me a double, Wendell.

You still here?

Yep.

Do you have any special reason for not wanting to see Miss Evans on that stage

opening night?

It's her funeral, not mine.

I'm just trying to make a fool out of her, don't you know that?

Why do you say that?

She's in no condition to get on the stage.

She's like me, washed up drunk.

They get her up there and make a fool out of her, and then what?

Huh, what?

We were fine, just fine.

Why don't they leave us alone?

Just for the record, do you recall where you were at 10 .30 last night?

Yes, here, have a few.

Oh, no, Cody's. That doesn't check out, Mr.

Kilgore. Over at Cody's, they say you're left by 10 o 'clock.

You're so smart, you figure it out.

I don't know, just leave me alone.

Yeah, sure.

I could say, never hustle a hustler.

Look, we both know what's right, right?

I mean, I can't say anything without seeming selfish, you know?

I'm sorry, Bert.

Lloyd was just acting like an adolescent.

I don't care about him. I care about you.

Well, don't you fear.

All I want is a little meditation with my feet.

And they'll be back in working order tomorrow.

I promise.

Who needs a promise?

Could I ever be accused of coming between you and a communion with your

I love you.

I love you.

You meditate, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay.

Hi, Agnes.

Mr. Parrish.

I thought you were supposed to stop by the school to see Kathy this afternoon.

I completely forgot.

Well, don't whip yourself in front of me, lady.

I'm the one who has to tell Kathy all those lies when she calls.

Agnes, I'm exhausted.

Your daughter's tired, too.

Tired of being a number in a uniform in that boarding school.

Stop it.

I'm sorry. I'm trying my best to get it all together for all of us. All right?

You tell me if it's all right. What good is it all going to be if it's going to

start all over again?

Oh, no. The world needs a star, is that it?

Well, Kathy needs a mother, and it don't look like she's gonna get one come good

times or bad. Just look who's talking.

I never once heard you complaining about the good times.

The bright lights never hurt your eyes.

Or the parties. Or the trips.

I never once heard you complaining about traveling first class.

You are a hypocrite, Agnes.

And if it weren't for me, you'd still be washing some floors in a...

building you go to hell

agnes

i'm sorry i didn't mean that i'll pick up my things later

i'm

certain it doesn't look as though she had a drinking problem here

Well, she was a beautiful woman.

Still is.

Oh?

When you say, oh, like that, I don't even have to look at you to know you're

wearing that great big pecker cat grin.

Really?

Whenever I see you scratching around on your desk like a chicken, I have a

feeling that what you're looking for is probably right under your nose.

Some detect.

I knew it was there all the time. I just wanted to make you feel indispensable.

Mm -hmm.

Tired and indispensable.

Yeah, here it is.

The young woman who was killed by Miss Evans' car was Miss Phyllis Sherman.

Betty, check the New York papers and see if you can come up with an obituary.

There's a date.

I'll do that tomorrow morning.

Has she any idea who's been making these calls?

Nope. She says it's a recording.

Of course, anyone could have taken that off of a television rerun of one of her

pictures.

I got this from a TV station.

You've destroyed everything of value.

You don't deserve to live.

Oh, dear.

Could be a crank call.

But I don't like it, Betty.

She's got an unlisted number, but that doesn't mean it's secret.

I promised Mr. Parrish I'd give her a call tonight.

Please. Please, just leave me alone.

Whoever you are, stop calling.

Please. Miss Evans, listen now. This is Barnaby Jones.

Have you been getting calls from that voice again?

Yes.

Twice. A half hour ago.

I tried to call Bert.

I'm afraid.

Let me talk to Agnes.

Agnes isn't here.

We had a fight.

She's gone.

Miss Evans, what is it?

What's the matter?

There's someone here again.

I gotta get out.

Betty, call the police on the other phone.

Tell them to get over there right away.

Miss Evans.

Yes, Miss Evans.

For discounting the call the other night, it's just another prowler.

Must have been Kilgore.

He didn't get away so lucky this time. Looks like he fell, hit his head.

Oh, no.

Don't, Cheryl.

Why did it have to be him?

Accident, Lieutenant?

Almost by the book, Barnaby.

A jilted boyfriend comes back to harass the girlfriend.

Only in this case, he probably stumbled back.

We've got a drunk sheet on Kilgore that long.

Well, if he was running away, he sure took a wrong direction.

Why did he start with the pool area?

Drunks and directions don't mix very well.

Did you ever see one driving down the freeway the wrong way?

Just as fatal.

Yeah, I suppose.

If you find out any difference, be sure to let me know, huh?

Sure will, Lieutenant.

Miss Evans, I don't think you'll be troubled by prowlers any longer.

If we can get a full statement on this later. Certainly.

Thank you, LaDonna.

Talk to you, Barnaby.

Miss Evans, when you were being chased and running and trying to find your way

out of the house, did you see that it was Kilgore?

No.

If I'd known, I wouldn't have run from him.

I'm not afraid of Lloyd.

I feel sorry for him.

I'll get you some water, Mr. Evans.

Mr. Parrish.

I'm not sure that this explains the phone calls.

Why do you say that?

Kilgore could easily have gotten... I don't think so.

Kilgore was a muscular, overt type of man.

Kind of would barge in.

I can't see him fiddling with tape recorders or scary phone calls.

Well, I suppose your judgment is right. I'll have to get the phone numbers

changed, I guess.

Mr. Parrish.

Yeah? I think I'd better run down to the press room.

See if I can detour the story from the newspapers. At least soften the facts a

little, you know.

That's a good idea, Eddie. Thanks for coming over so soon.

Yeah.

Mr. Davis on call 24 hours a day?

Excuse me?

He got here awfully fast.

Well, I think he said he had to come over here anyway to pick up some

or something.

I was having a phone conversation with Miss Evans when it happened. She said

that she'd had a quarrel with Agnes.

Cheryl and Agnes had been going at it for years.

They were arguing about Cheryl's daughter, she said.

Does your daughter live around here?

In Candlewood. It's a private school on the hills.

Why can't she see me? She promised.

Oh, Kathy, when you get older, you will have to realize that promise means try.

You're older.

You come when you promise.

Go ahead, Agnes. Explain that one.

Hello, pet.

How are you?

Maybe if I were a pet, you'd keep me around the house. Hush now.

Kathy, I'm doing this for both of us. You have to understand that.

I do.

You're in a place you can afford to keep me.

But you can't keep me because you're in a play.

I'm working.

I'm gone all day.

That's nothing.

I'm gone all year. What do you care?

I do care, Kathy.

At least when you were drunk, you used to come and see me.

I liked you better when you were drunk.

Don't talk to your mother like that. What mother?

You don't care.

All you care about is yourself and your theater, theater, theater.

Kathy?

Please. Oh, let her go.

Little hurts like that hurt big when they're that age.

Agnes, what am I supposed to do?

I heard about last night, and I'm sorry that I wasn't there.

Really sorry.

Why should you be any different?

Nobody's ever there when I need them.

Little bit dark.

Take ten.

You like?

That was good.

Wrong. It was perfect.

Maybe I better introduce myself.

Barnaby Jones.

An understudy has to know everything that goes on, onstage and backstage.

Then you probably know what happened to Miss Evans offstage.

Yes. I'm terribly sorry.

You're a very good actress.

What do you mean?

Well, I might be sitting here thinking that you really were sorry if I hadn't

seen you with Mr. Kilgore in that bar yesterday.

So?

So, what business were you discussing with Mr. Kilgore?

No business.

No business is like show business. I think I got that right.

Like so what?

I did it for the good of everyone. She isn't ready.

She'll ruin everything and everybody.

Mr. Parrish is so obsessed with the idea of resurrecting that old blush, he'd

never listen.

So I tried to get Lloyd Kilgore to talk some sense to her. That's all.

Well, if he tried, he died trying.

Sorry, I can't help that.

And any plans you may have had when Mr. Kilgore died with him?

What's that supposed to mean?

Shirley Evans is a star to the core.

She has recovered from shocks worse than this.

She'll be on stage opening night.

I wouldn't count on it.

Shirley Evans is also a lush to the core.

She's an inch away from popping the cork and going under.

Again.

Why don't we join?

You said to call if there's any trouble.

Well, yes, Agnes. What's the matter?

She's been here and gone, and she's at the bottle again.

She's drinking again.

Well, you stay right there, Agnes.

I think I may be able to find her.

Well, it's partly my fault.

Find her, please.

Please find her.

Yeah, I'll try.

Oh, sorry.

Are you in a rush?

Ah, yeah.

Well, here, take a look at this.

The obituary notice of a girl in New York.

It's reminded by her father, Edward R. Davis of Los Angeles. Good work, Betty.

Check him out.

Where are you off to?

Our lamb has strayed. I'm going to catch her before she goes off the deep end.

One more.

One for the money and two for the show.

That one for the money's all right, but it's a two for the show to get you.

Oh, hey, Barnaby.

I don't have to drink alone after all.

You don't have to drink at all.

Agnes told you, hmm?

That wretched old fox.

Agnes is worried about you.

Go on back and tell her not to worry.

Why don't you come back with me and then you can tell her?

No.

My little Kathy was right.

Shouldn't I have a little girl?

Yeah, I know.

I don't think she'd like what you're doing.

Oh, yes, she would.

Kathy and Lloyd were both right.

This is where I belong, right here.

Everybody going their own way, minding their own business.

It's going to sit right here, blend in with everybody.

It's an extra.

That's it. Walk on. That's the rule I want to play.

You're not everybody, Miss Evans.

You're something special.

That's the reason people make the demands on you that they do.

They're hungry for something that you can be, something special.

It's not that they're selfish, but they need you.

Never mind about them.

Think about you.

Doing the thing you were born to do and knowing that you're doing it better than

anybody else.

Not one person in a hundred million makes it to the top of the mountain.

It's a pretty view from up there.

Much better than the view from the bottom of a bottle.

I want to do it.

So bad.

Well, this is all that's keeping you from it.

Why not help?

If we can wait all the way home, still shall.

Mr. Parrish said you wanted to see me?

Yes. I was just looking at the pool. Strange, isn't it?

Strange? What's strange?

How something built for pleasure can become a death trap.

I'd thought of it that way.

Accidents happen.

I was thinking about another accident that happened in New York five years

When your daughter was run down and killed by a car being driven by Miss

You think that just happened?

Miss Evans was responsible and should have been punished.

My daughter was known by her married name.

So far, no one here has connected except Jill Mallory.

Did she tell you?

I've been sort of combing the birds out of the fur on my own.

And the obituary notice listed in Edward R. Davis as a father, I found out that

was you.

I won't pretend I have any loving fondness for Shirley Evans, but I'm a

professional and so is she.

And you don't harbor any old grudges?

Just a long -buried feeling of hurt, I guess.

Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter as much as any father, but Phyllis was

wild. She ran with the pack and she... Everyone concerned has suffered

enough a long time ago.

That's very understanding of you.

But you don't believe me.

Let's say I'd like to believe you.

Well...

Oh, boy.

That's why they call them deadlines.

Kill yourself trying to beat them.

If you're going to start spending the nights here, I'm going to order a day

for the office, okay?

What?

It's almost 10 o 'clock.

Look, I know it's not important to cute fellas like you, but I really need my

beauty sleep.

Betty, would you please get me... Mrs. Parrish on the phone.

Don't you mean Mr. Parrish?

When I say Mrs., I mean Mrs.

Poor Mr.

Parrish. I wonder if his show is ever going to open.

You ever have the thought that maybe he doesn't want it to open?

What? You ever hear of the producer who sold 200 % of his show and the only

thing that could save him was a quick flop?

Uh, Mrs. Parrish?

Yes, would you please hold for Bobby Jones?

Miss Parrish, I hope I didn't disturb you.

No.

What can I do for you? The other night, when your husband was talking to Miss

Evans, he gave you the phone.

Is that right?

Yes. Well, he went to the other phone to call the police.

You stayed right on that phone until...

Mr. Parrish and the police got to Miss Evans.

Yes. Well, I'm afraid they didn't have anyone to talk to.

Poor Shirley had dropped the phone and run for her life by then.

Now, Miss Parrish, I'm going to ask you to tell me exactly.

Hello? You've destroyed everything of value.

You don't deserve it.

Barnaby Jones' office. May I help you?

This is Agnes.

May I speak to Mr. Jones?

That crazy call, I've just got one.

Agnes, Mr. Jones isn't here.

Hold on while I try and reach him in on another number, please.

Just hold on.

Magnificent dog.

Tame as an old cow, really.

He's got a good barker on him, though.

Only trick he knows is barking.

You keep him outside at night?

Yeah. He'd be out there now if you weren't here.

You don't have to know any more tricks than that, son.

Hello? You got smart written all over you.

It's for you.

Your daughter -in -law? Oh, thank you.

Betty?

Barnaby, I had Agnes on the other line.

She just got one of those crank calls again.

I thought they were all over.

Well, it's not quite all over, Betty.

Keep talking to her. I'll get right over there.

Agnes? Agnes?

It's all right, Miss Evans.

There's no one here.

There's never been anyone here, has there?

What? You deserve every acting award you ever received, there's no doubt about

it.

Lloyd Kilgore saw your performance the other night and it cost him his life.

That's the way it happened, isn't it?

The what?

You never did want to do that show.

You were just looking for an excuse to find a way out.

You don't know what it's like out there every night.

All those faces.

Studying me.

Daring at me.

Those stupid faces eating at me.

I'm never going to do that again.

It's all right, Shirley. You don't have to do it anymore.

My poor baby.

I always had a feeling.

I always had a feeling.

It was terror that destroyed her, Mr. Parrish.

Shirley Evans was scared to death of the millions of people who loved her.

My God, the torture she must have gone through all these years.

Being on the stage must have been like the fire of Hades for her.

How could you know that?

I didn't until that big old police dog next door started me to thinking.

Incredible to me.

But you were right.

I couldn't hear it barking the night I called Cheryl on the phone.

Neither did your wife later, which meant that no one had entered or left through

those doors.

Miss Evans was here alone until you and the police came, and then the dog

started barking.

What about the night Kilgore came snooping around?

I heard the dog barking myself.

Miss Evans was in here putting on the act of her life.

Kilgore had seen her, so it was a matter of life and death to her, so she killed

him. Then in one last desperate effort, she tried to involve Agnes by calling up

on the other line and hitting her in the head.

She knew that someone was listening on the phone. She had an audience.

Don't talk about her like she's a criminal now.

A bump on the head is nothing.