All language subtitles for Barnaby Jones s01e02 To Catch A Dead Man

Barnaby Jones, starring Buddy Ebsen,
also starring Lee

Meriwether, with guest stars Janice
Rule, Darlene

Carr, Victoria Shaw, special guest star
William Shatner.

Tonight's episode, To Catch a Dead Man.

Going to Catalina.

Now? Tonight?

I told you yesterday when I was.

I didn't know that you meant definitely.
I thought of maybe having dinner at the

club on Saturday. I'll be back, Mom.

I'll call you ship to ship.

All right.

Bye, darling.

Have fun.

Evening, Mr. Carlisle.

Gosh.

Going out tonight?

Uh -huh.

Catalina. Oh, funny. I've never been to
Catalina. I mean, there it is, just 34

miles away, but I've never been there.

Been to Hong Kong on a package tour
once, but I've never been to Catalina.

Is there a Mr.

Carlisle here?

Yes, that's me. Oh, telephone.

Hello, Mr. Carlisle. I'm Mike. You told
me to call at 8 sharp.

That's right. Meet me at the boat, would
you, Mike?

Yeah, sure. When?

Right now.

And don't tell anyone.

Don't let anyone see you either. Okay.

Hey, why all the spy stuff, Mr.
Carlisle?

Hi, Mr.

Carlisle.

Hello, George.

Working late? Always.

A sailor's a beast of burden.

A regular jackass.

Except when he's sailing.

No one saw me. I came by dinghy.

What's the deal?

The deal is you take the boat to
Catalina, I'll fly over tomorrow and

I get it. Your wife's still... Yes, you
get it. That's right.

The people on my tail will come back
together on the boat Monday.

Have fun.

You too.

I lost my boyfriend, Mr. Jones.

It sounds silly like that, doesn't it?

Lost my boyfriend.

I sound like some hysterical high school
girl.

No, not at all.

A human being is a very important thing
to lose.

Did you go to the police?

Well, no.

I've debated all week what to do.

Is your milk part of me?

That was one sugar and a little cream,
Miss Barton. Thank you. Please call me

Julie. Oh, and you forgot this on my
desk.

Oh, yeah.

This has been kind of upsetting.

Mrs. Jones.

Oh, that's my daughter -in -law.

Death secretary.

Betty.

He's certainly very attractive.

Yes.

If he only had a little more sense.

I mean was more practical.

You were going to tell me why you
couldn't go to the police about your

Hartney.

Well, I guess I better start at the
beginning.

Or what's important.

What's important is that Mike has really
disappeared.

Usually I wouldn't worry about that so
much because Mike has gone a lot.

He cruised on boats sometimes.

It's not a trans -pac race like that.

He's out of the country more than he is
in.

But this is different.

He isn't crewing on any boat now because
he always tells me.

About the police was the question.

Well, this time I know why he's hiding.

That check.

A bad check for $600.

I don't understand.

I mean, that's hardly a sterling
characteristic.

Passing bad paper.

No, of course it isn't.

Even if he had a good reason.

It's the only time he's done anything
like that.

And he thought, sure, he'd cover it.

But when he couldn't, he just... just
disappeared.

Completely.

But what he didn't know is that just out
of the blue, my mom and dad sent me

$500 for my birthday.

And, well, I covered it just in time.

That still doesn't clear him of passing
it.

No. No, it certainly doesn't.

Excuse me.

Most detectives send their lab work out,
I guess.

Sorry about the interruption.

You were saying?

I'm botching this all up.

I'm making Mike sound so terrible, you
might think... Well, he's not that way

all.

You really care about this Mike?

That's pretty obvious, isn't it?

And you think maybe he's gone for good
this time?

Well, if somebody doesn't find him to
tell him I covered the check, I do.

What's his address?

Is this it?

You will help then?

I'll look into it for you.

Oh, thank you.

Now, I guess I better get started.

That is, if you're finished with your
coffee. Oh, yes, I have.

Well, thanks for everything.

I feel so much better now. I just know
you'll find Mike.

Well, let's hope so.

Bye, Julie.

We'll be in touch.

Since when do we take cases like this,
huh?

Where would you send her?

The Coast Guard has called off its
search for millionaire sportsman Philip

Carlyle. The body, they say, will
probably never be found due to strong

and evidence of Blue Shark in the area.

And now back to Hawk Time.

Hi, I'm Fred A. Williams.

I think my checks might be ready.

Oh, yes, Mr. Williams. Happy to meet
you, sir. One moment, please.

Mr. Williams, I'm Eugene Adams, manager
of the bank. How do you do? It's always

a pleasure to meet one of our friends
who banks by mail.

Arizona, isn't it?

Yuma.

Hey, meet Freddie Williams from Yuma,
Arizona.

Howdy, Freddie.

I'm Diana Stewart from Los Angeles.

Oh, darling, I don't know whether I like
this naked face look or not. I don't

know which is sexy.

What fun finding out.

Oh, what a feeling.

I'm Fred Williams, a whole new man. I
get another shot at it.

Hey, little doggie, why aren't we
drinking?

I don't know.

Oh, honey, just a second.

Oh, darling.

How beautiful.

Now we're Indians living off the land.

Oh, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich
Indians.

I love it.

Oh, that's heaven.

And then what?

Then we relax, we goof off, we fish, we
make love.

Do you have any trouble with the
passport?

No trouble whatsoever. I got them from
the same friendly neighborhood passport

supplier that sold us all our other IDs.

Good.

How's old Dorsey?

Oh, my darling, my wife of 20 years has
done nothing in the past 10.

Except grow older and colder, which is
why we're here, right? You know, the one

thing I wish I'd be around to see is the
look on her father's face next month

when he tries to figure out what
happened to the trustee account I

him. And on Dorsey's, when she realizes
how I milked all our assets.

Passports.

Passports. Passports.

When do we get to use them? That's what
I want to find out. That's when.

When everything dies down, we'll snuggle
in here for three or four months, out

of sight.

We'll get used to being Mr. and Mrs.
Fred A. Williams.

That's our breath.

Man,

I feel ten years younger already.

Mike Hartney, of course I know him.

He and my husband were old drinking
buddies.

Mike had a little talent too, you know.

Painting. Did Mike actually work for
your husband?

Oh, the Mikes of this world don't
actually work, Mr. Jones.

He did odd jobs.

Oh, that's fine, Roger.

Phil always loved wine, fruit, cheese.

I tried to have anything he wanted.

Some dessert, Mr. Jones, some fruit or
cheese.

No, thank you, Miss Carlisle. I've had
my dinner.

That's a tricky little gadget, isn't it?

Oh, Phil loved gadgets.

Expensive gadgets, expensive cars,
expensive boats.

Look what it got him.

Oh, I beg your pardon, Mr. Jones. You
came about Mike Hartney.

I'm sorry I couldn't see you earlier
today.

Oh, that's all right, Mrs. Carlisle.

It seems that Mike's been missing for
the last nine days.

Oh, he's always disappearing.

On those sailing races, you mean?

Yeah, Acapulco, Mazatlan, the islands.

And if he isn't doing that, then he's up
on cloud nine, wherever that is, with

that sexy girlfriend of his.

Miss Barton?

No, he's not with Miss Barton.

And he's not on any sailing race either,
I checked.

Who is Miss Barton?

Julie Barton.

I don't know any Julie.

I was speaking of Diane.

Diane Stewart is the love of Mike's
life.

Oh.

Well, that's not exactly the way I
understood it.

Diane Stewart, you say, is that with an
E -W or a U -A?

Or would you know?

E .W.

Frankly, she's a knockout. I can
understand how Mike feels.

Uh, do you happen to know where Miss
Stewart lives?

Uh, Chatham Apartments.

I don't know if she's still there. I
seem to remember something about a

assignment.

The Bahamas or the West Indies.

I don't know, Mr. Jones.

Chatham Apartments?

Yes, below the strip on Doheny.

We dropped her off there a couple of
times when the four of us were out

together.

We were quite a foursome once, Phil and
me and Mike and Diane.

Hey, you know what?

The Greek islands look great.

Remote, but not too remote.

And Athens is a real city.

Forget Athens.

Oh, Mr.

Abercrombie, we were just expecting Mr.

Hitch. Look, I have always wanted a
trout fish, especially with flies.

I know who sold you that idea. It was
my... Go on, say it.

Say it. Say... Diane, will you say it?

Say Mike sold you on trout fishing.

Look, we've got nothing to be afraid of.

We're brand new. We're Mr.

and Mrs. Fred Williams, and nobody knows
any different.

More like Mr.

and Mrs. Fred Hermit, if you ask me.

You don't get caught doing nothing. You
get caught doing something.

That's why we're going to do nothing.

And I, for one, intend to make the best
of it.

Well, at least, could I send for Cotton?

Oh, come on. What's the matter with my
having my pussycat with me? I miss her

more than I miss people.

Forget Cotton.

We buy ourselves that villa, we'll have
a dozen cats.

Nobody liked Cotton.

You'll get her someday.

No, no, no. I hate it. It's not it.

It's just... I mean, that's it, but it's
not quite it. It's just still too dark.

Now, I'm sorry, but I just cannot stand
for it to be that way.

Please don't argue with me, because I
know what I want. That's not it. That's

not the color I want. It's still too
dark.

I beg your pardon, but is this or was
this Diane Stewart's apartment?

Oh, I don't know. Diane's somebody.

Her lease ran out, and I took over. I'm
Billy Thompson.

How do you do? Do you know where Diane
went?

Nope, I don't know. I haven't the
faintest idea. I wish I did, because I

know if she wants all that junk she left
out there or not.

Say, you can help us. Come here.

Is this Robin's egg blue?

I know it is. I'm asking him.

Well?

I'd say, uh, powder blue.

See? See? See what?

Powder blue is closer to a Robin's egg
blue than your sky blue.

Oh, I can see it in my mind, but I can't
explain it. Come on, get some yellow in

that. I think that'll do it.

Yeah, yellow.

Oh, Miss Stewart, yes.

She's been bringing her pets here for
years. She recommends us very highly. In

fact, her lovely Persian, Cotton.

Does Cotton know you?

But he's staying with us right now.

You have a little animal friend, too?
No, no. You see, it's very important

I talk to Miss Stewart.

It looks like a job for her. I'm with a
central talent doctor.

Would you have her new address?

Oh, I'm sorry. No.

Our client's addresses are as
confidential as a pet's personal diet.

Excuse me just one minute. It's a new
spaniel. He's a little homesick.

Afternoon. Hi.

My grandfather will be back in a half an
hour.

We need a trout fishing license.

That's the best idea I heard all day,
son, but you're going to have to wait.

I'm looking for a relative of mine.

I wonder if maybe you might have seen
her around here lately.

Who? What's her name?

Her name's Diane Stewart.

Miss Stewart.

That name doesn't ring any bells.

But I sure know her.

That's who I'm looking for.

That's Mrs. Williams.

Mrs. Fred A. Williams. They took the
Bentley house up by the lake.

Mrs. Fred A. Williams.

I could retire if I could just get Mrs.

Williams' makeup concession.

Name is mrs.. Williams.

Yeah, she buys it all shampoo powder
bought every jar a nocturnal miracle

massage the last tube of angel drops She
asked us for stuff. I don't even know

what it's for you know where mrs..
Williams live sure

It's good practice to catch a bushfish
once in a while.

Any luck?

No, not yet.

You know, I think that you are clutching
the rod too tight.

You've got to keep your wrist loose,
relax, you know, take it easy. Your

should go right in line with the rod
here.

Then center it on a target.

Try it again.

Hey, that's pretty good.

One thing you've got to remember about
fly casting, you're casting the line,

the fly.

What can I do for you?

I'm Fred Williams. That's my cabin up
there. Can I help you?

Oh, I didn't mean to trespass, Mr.
Williams.

I just saw you down here and I... What a
beautiful spot.

Yes, it is, isn't it?

You just looking around or what?

Oh, I'm Barnaby Jones. I'm looking for a
man named Hartney.

Michael Hartney.

Michael Hartney.

No, no, no.

Well, actually, I think maybe your wife
may have heard of him.

Do you, uh, do you suppose I could talk
to her for a moment?

Sure. She's, uh, she's up there
somewhere. Dan!

Yeah, ask her anything you want.

Yes, darling?

Um, this is Barnaby Jones.

He's, uh, looking for a friend of yours,
uh, Mr., uh, Mike, uh, something.

Mike, uh, Hartney.

Uh, how do you do, Mrs. Williams?

Mike?

Yeah, it's from Los Angeles.

He is a friend of yours, isn't he?

Yeah, sort of. Why?

What do you want him for?

Well, he thinks that he's in a real bad
mind about a check, but actually he

isn't.

When's the last time you saw him, Ms.
Williams?

Gee, I don't know.

A long time ago.

A couple months.

And since then, you've been making
preparations for the wedding, not seeing

people. That's very understandable.

What a fine place for a honeymoon.

How'd you know we just got married? Does
it show?

Well, Mike's friend described you as
Miss Stewart, that's all.

Or maybe I should have said Ms., or
maybe I still should.

No, no, no, we're old -fashioned about a
couple of things, and one of them is

Mr. and Mrs.

You mean you drove up here all the way
from L .A. to get my wife's help?

Well, it was important, and I thought I
might get in a little fishing. You know,

business and pleasure.

And here's a beautiful spot.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, Mr.

Williams, relax.

Oh, yeah.

You know, all this expensive equipment
you got here ought to make it easy for

you.

That's a split bamboo pole.

Uh -huh. First one of those, I've seen
them a long time.

And you got a nice assortment of flies
there, too.

Mind if I take a look?

Oh, by all means.

Hand -tied.

Yeah, they are.

Here's an interesting one.

Is that steelhead?

Yeah, steelhead and trout.

Did you tie this?

Yes, I did, as a matter of fact.

Funny -looking eyes.

How come? Well, you see what that is?

Two beads joined together on a beaded
chain, and...

That's painted.

It's based on Lady Godiva, only I added
my own ideas. I painted that. I call it

Lady Diane.

You know, this is very interesting.

You learn how to tie flies before you
learn how to cast flies.

I'm an old -time fisherman, and I never
ran across anybody who ever did that

before.

That's it.

Oh, you're getting it.

Right.

Well, I guess I've done all I can about
Mike up here.

Sure do hate to waste this fresh air and
unpolluted lake.

Say, you wouldn't happen to have some
extra tackle I could borrow, would you?

I forgot my... Yeah, up on the back
porch.

Thanks. Phil, why did you let him hang
around?

Fred, can you keep that on your tongue,
Fred?

It's all backfired.

I didn't mind pretending I was Mike's
girl so the three of us could go out

together and...

Sweet, the way he always left us alone
discreetly. It was fun then, but now

backfired. Take it easy.

The guy's a troubleshooter for the bank,
that's all.

He's not here to tell Mike he's in the
clear.

He's looking for Mike because Mike
bounced a check, that's all.

Listen, I've got an idea.

Let the old guy prove what an expert he
is with all this stuff, and I'll go up

to the house and make us drinks, and
then I'll dial L .A., and by some weird

coincidence, I'll find out where old
Mike is, and we'll send the old guy on

way.

Then we can relax again and goof off and
whatever that third thing you said was

that I kind of like.

Would you like something cool to drink?

Yes, thank you.

Some milk.

To each his own.

Find what you need?

You have some mighty fine tackle here.

Thank you.

It's mostly ocean tackle, though.

I see by your license plates you're from
Arizona.

Right.

That's a long way from salt water.

Well, not so far from Yuma.

You know, there's the Sea of Cortez,
Gulf of California.

Oh, that's right. Down below in Nogales
there.

Big Marlin.

Guess what?

I called my girlfriend in Beverly Hills.
She ran into Mike down at the marina.

I mean, she just mentioned it. I didn't
even have to tell her you were looking

for him. No!

You see, my girlfriend's boyfriend, he's
part of that bunch who put the getaway

and dry dock, they're scraping the hull.

Mike's working every day.

That's great.

I hoped I'd get lucky up here, but I
never figured I'd get this lucky.

The getaway, you see. Yeah. Well, Mr.
Williams, I guess I'll have to take a

check on your tackle there.

Sure hate to leave this place.

You can bet I'll get back up here as
soon as I can.

Have a good trip, Mr. Jones.

Bye. Thanks again. And remember, your
thumb points to the target.

I don't like the vibes I'm getting from
that guy, Phil.

I don't care what you're getting. Don't
call me Phil again, do you understand?

You got rid of him?

Relax.

Yeah, what was that crack he made about
taking the rain check on the tackle?

He'll be back. Stop being paranoid.

Relax.

He was just being foxy.

I never did like just plain folk.

And incidentally, I don't like rustic
cabins and murmuring pine.

Had it.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm packing.

I'm all for using those passports right
now.

Phil, you heard me.

Stop it.

We can check on him.

You call the Bel Air house.

The late Phil Carlyle's house.

What are you talking about?

And you use a southern accent or
whatever.

And you tell him that your Mrs. Barnaby
Jones and your husband gave you this

number to reach him. And that way we can
find out if he's been there.

Sure. 213 -459 -108.

I remember the number I was never
allowed to use.

Hello, this is Mrs. Jones.

My husband gave me this number for
emergencies.

Mrs. Barnaby Jones. I wondered if you
happened to know his whereabouts.

Mr. Jones isn't expected today as far as
I know.

He was here yesterday.

Would you like me to see if Mrs. Carlyle
is available?

He was there yesterday.

Oh, no.

No, thank you.

Joe, I didn't know you were here.

Dorsey doesn't know about this place.

You have the vaguest idea of getting out
of here.

People who run get chased.

We're such a save.

Who knew you were here?

Nobody. You mean nobody.

You know I can see every wheel in your
head clicking?

I didn't... How do you trace you here?

I didn't tell anybody.

Except...

Except? Just in case of emergency, if
Cotton got sick, the vet, but just the

mailing address.

The cats, the cats, the cats, the cats.

How can you be so damn stupid?

I'm not so stupid as to stay here and
you're not going to stop me, you prick.

Diane, honey, just a minute, please,
don't.

I'm sorry.

I know, I know, no one stops you when
you really need it, can they?

Honey, please, don't. Honey, don't.

Stop that.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're sensational when you're like
this.

You are.

I guess it's good for me to be told
where to get off now and then, huh?

At least we settled back.

Thank you.

Come on.

Barnaby, I checked Marina Del Rey. There
just isn't a boat named The Getaway

berthed there at all.

What next?

Well, I thought I was going to be on my
way back home, but now I think I'll hang

around up here a little longer, ask a
few more questions.

Maybe she didn't get the name of the
boat straight.

Everything else under control?

No problems.

Hey, keep me posted, huh?

Bye, honey.

She took 15 and 6 tenths, sir.

That'll be 6 .33.

She didn't need any oil.

Credit card?

No, cash.

Oh.

Say, my grandson Ray, some of that
relative of yours, Mrs. Williams, is an

actress? Has she ever done anything on
the TV?

Just commercials.

She's a model.

How much were they?

6 .33.

Pretty enough to be one, that's for
sure.

Most pretty ones like her don't pay so
much attention to homemaking, but she

sure does.

How do you mean?

Well, the particular way she wants her
steaks cut, just so, and extra fancy

fruit. If she's a goer for that husband
of hers, she sure is.

Say, what about him, anyway? Sticks to
himself, don't he?

Does he?

Well...

in two weeks or so.

He ain't been down here not even once.

Not one soul has laid eyes on him.

I'm kind of insulted.

Most folks from L .A. or San Francisco
think us Tomac natives are real quaint.

Back soon, Al.

Safe trip.

Excuse me, Mr. Williams, for using your
range check a lot sooner than I figured.

That's all right, Mr. Jones. What's up?

Well, I guess I just didn't get the
information about Mike Hartney exactly

right from your wife.

So I wonder if it would be too much of a
bother to talk to her for a minute.

Well, she's gone for a walk up on the
hill, she said.

Gets cold enough for a coat this time of
the evening. Diane likes cashmere

sweaters. Cozy.

Looks like somebody's been practicing
fly casting in the living room. Yeah,

looks like it, doesn't it?

I don't want to intrude, but would it be
all right if I waited around to see

Mrs. Williams when she comes back?
Frankly, Jones, I was going to have some

cheese and wine and then hit the sack
for a while until she comes back.

This, uh, altitude kind of gets you.

So... So unless you want to take the
time,

have another glass of milk. Why don't
you come back tomorrow?

Does it make it taste better when you
slice it fancy like that?

As a matter of fact, it does.

Tomorrow, you say?

Then I can see the both of you tomorrow?
Probably.

Okay, uh, let's, uh, let it stay that
way.

Oh, in case you run across anybody who
might need an office like mine...

Oh, sorry, I gave you the wrong one
here.

Fingerprints?

Funny you should say that, Mr. Williams.

Oh,

I guess it's not so funny after all, Mr.
Carlisle.

You follow the crowd pretty well.

From Bel Air to a cabin in the woods.

Outside. I keep my eyes open.

Be amazed at what you can see.

Funny little fish and flies made by a
man who's missing.

Fancy little doodads for cutting up
fruit.

Back door.

Gonna be messy killing me, Mr. Carlisle.

People are going to look for me. The
lake is deep.

Killing Diane was simple.

You did kill her, didn't you?

Who's going to worry about her? Her cat?

But with me now, lots of people are
going to worry about me.

Lots of different people, like the
people down at the store.

They saw me come up here again. They're
going to think it's awful funny.

All right.

Hands up against the wall.

Don't move.

Operator, get me the police.

Mr. Williams!

I got that new hairdo stuff you wanted.

Mighty fine plan, Mr...

Carlisle He just made one mistake
Picking Mike to kill Mike wasn't

as much of a loner as you figured He did
have someone who cared about him

I

loved you

others for you to love, Julie?

I guess so.

You're very young.

I feel awfully old.

Ready to walk back?

No, I think I'll stay out here for a
while.

Don't worry about me.

I like to watch the boats coming back.