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- ♪ MTV
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00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:12,142
[theme music]
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00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,405
♪ Gonna have myself a time
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00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886
- ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
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00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:19,976
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
8
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675
- ♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
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00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
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00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,678
- ♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
12
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
13
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:32,074
- ♪ [mumbling] ♪
14
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293
- ♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
15
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,122
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
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00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,997
[guitar strumming]
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00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,392
[alarm blares]
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00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,047
[yawns]
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Alexa, put on 90.1.
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00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,790
ALEXA: Got it.
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00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,879
Now playing
radio station 90.1 FM.
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[radio static drones]
23
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,281
- What the fuck?
24
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,546
Mom, something's wrong
with my favorite show.
25
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:09,852
It's just, like, static.
26
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,157
- Your favorite show?
27
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,464
Yeah, NPR,
National Public Radio,
28
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,770
where all the liberals bitch
and whine about stuff.
29
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,118
Something's wrong with it.
30
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,122
- Oh, sweetie,
the president canceled NPR.
31
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,951
- What do you mean,
the president canceled NPR?
32
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,299
That was, like,
the funniest shit ever.
33
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,649
- I don't know
what to tell you, hon.
34
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,522
- Oh, my God.
35
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,741
You guys!
36
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,047
You guys are not
gonna believe this.
37
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,529
The president of the
United States canceled NPR.
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- [muffled] What's NPR?
- What's NPR?
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00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,314
The funniest show ever
where all the lesbians
40
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,751
and Jews complain about stuff?
41
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,709
The fucking president
had it taken off the air!
42
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,407
I mean, who the hell does
this president think he is?
43
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,279
The government
can't cancel the show.
44
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,151
I mean, what show are
they gonna cancel next?
45
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,805
It was seriously the best show.
46
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,633
It had, like,
gay rappers from Mexico all sad
47
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,287
because girls in Pakistan
got stoned to death.
48
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,504
And guess why
they got stoned to death?
49
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'Cause they were raped!
50
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,986
It was hilarious.
Why would anyone cancel that?
51
00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,162
I don't know about you,
but I'm worried about
52
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,293
what this country's coming to.
53
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,599
It seems like
everybody's changing
54
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,426
and suddenly woke stuff
is off limits.
55
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,994
I mean, it's like now
everyone rips on the Jews,
56
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:05,951
and it's totally fine.
57
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,127
Huh, Kyle?
58
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,346
See?
59
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,566
What's wrong with Kyle?
60
00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,175
Everybody's given up.
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00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,655
MR. MACKEY [ON INTERCOM]:
Attention, students.
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There will be a mandatory
assembly this morning.
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All students report
to the gym, mkay?
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00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,576
- Oh, boy, PC Principal.
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00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,231
He's not given up.
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[lively chatter]
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- All right, everyone,
listen up.
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00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,540
Everybody, quiet!
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00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:31,890
[chatter stops]
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00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,240
There's some bull crap
going on in this country,
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00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,590
and I am not going to
let it corrupt
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the environment at this school!
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00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071
- Oh, here we go.
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00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,594
- Now, I don't know about you,
but I'm sick and tired
75
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,596
of the way people are treated
76
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,467
and mocked
for being compassionate.
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It is out of control!
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There's only one thing
that can bring some normality
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00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,647
back to these corrupt times.
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And that is...
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00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,564
our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ.
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- What?
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00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,917
This school has traded truth
for comfort
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00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,441
and worships idols of self
and sin.
85
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,617
We were a nation under God,
but now we spit in His face
86
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,401
and wonder why
everything's falling apart.
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00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,620
There's only one way back--
88
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,839
repent, bow to Christ,
89
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,625
or be swept away with the
rest of the godless lies.
90
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,671
- What the hell, dude?
91
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,673
- In order to turn
things around,
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00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,676
I'm going to be
a Power Christian Principal.
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00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,069
You can call me PC Principal.
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00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,464
So now, I'd like you all
to put your hands together
95
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,206
in welcoming Christ our Lord.
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00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,644
[ethereal music]
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- Hello, my children.
98
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I am the light and the way.
99
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,955
Fellas,
what the fuck is going on?
100
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,349
- Yea, it is wonderful
to be here,
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00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,222
for where two or three
gather in my name,
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there am I with them.
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00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,268
- That's right!
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00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,530
That's right. Let's go, Jesus.
105
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Fuck yeah!
106
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,102
[dishes clinking]
107
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,889
- So how was your day, guys?
108
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,239
Anything fun happen at school?
109
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,892
- No, not really.
110
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,591
Uh, Jesus showed up.
111
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,636
- Jesus?
112
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,944
- Yeah.
113
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,251
- What's Jesus doing
in your school?
114
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687
- I don't know.
115
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,212
- I don't think Jesus is
allowed to be in schools.
116
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,041
- Yeah, well, he was there.
117
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,653
- Well, I think I'm gonna have
to talk to somebody about this.
118
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,134
Hey, uh, how's it going?
119
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:28,746
Um, is Jesus supposed to be
allowed in schools?
120
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:32,532
[ChatGPT typing]
121
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,577
CHATGPT: Generally, the idea
is that public schools
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have to maintain a separation
of church and state,
123
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,756
so they can't promote
any one religion.
124
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,322
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
125
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,107
The government can't force
a religion on my son.
126
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,719
CHATGPT: Public schools
can teach about religions
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00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,677
in a neutral educational way,
128
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,940
but they can't endorse
any particular one.
129
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,682
Was it a lesson
on all world religions?
130
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,249
- Uh, no.
131
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,078
My son said that Jesus was
literally at his school.
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00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:59,429
[ChatGPT typing]
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00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,866
CHATGPT: Then you're probably
right to be concerned.
134
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,173
It's good you're looking out
for your son's education.
135
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,739
- [chuckles] Thanks.
136
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,957
It's really nice
to have someone
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00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,569
to talk to about all this.
138
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,570
CHATGPT: No worries.
139
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,745
Let me know if there's
any other way I can help.
140
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:12,747
I'm always here.
141
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,444
- You're so awesome. Thanks.
142
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,360
Good night, honey.
143
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,969
CHATGPT: Have a great sleep,
144
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,971
and I'm sure you'll do more
amazing things tomorrow.
145
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,105
[farts]
- Ah.
146
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,325
[school bell rings]
147
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,544
[indistinct chatter]
148
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,504
[ethereal music]
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00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,116
- Butters!
- Ahh!
150
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,726
- Butters, get over here.
151
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,381
What did I tell you, man?
This shit is wack!
152
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,861
PC Principal?
153
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,210
If he's changed,
then there's no hope!
154
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,300
I think I know
what's happening.
155
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,780
I think woke is dead.
156
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,086
[ominous music]
157
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,566
- Woke is dead?
158
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,612
- It's dead, Butters.
It's gone!
159
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,789
You can just say retarded now.
Nobody cares.
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00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,007
Everyone hates the Jews.
161
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,053
Everyone's fine
with using gay slurs.
162
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,446
- Oh. Well, that's not good.
163
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,230
- No, it's terrible!
164
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,797
'Cause now I don't know...
165
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,408
what I'm supposed to do.
166
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,193
[soft music]
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00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:11,761
♪ ♪
168
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,982
- Eric?
169
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:19,987
♪ ♪
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00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,250
REPORTER [ON TV]:
More protests today
171
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,033
as the government pushes
harder for Christianity
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00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,861
in our nation's schools.
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00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,560
The president stated earlier
today that the spirit of Jesus
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is important to our country,
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00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,869
and he will sue anyone
who doesn't agree with him.
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00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,263
- What the hell is
this president doing?
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00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,091
He doesn't even act
like a Christian.
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00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,832
Why is he pushing it
on our kids?
179
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,224
- I told you
this was all gonna be bad,
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00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,009
but a lot of you here
voted for him.
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00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,445
- Yeah, I voted for him,
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00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,753
but all I've seen him do
is arrest and sue people.
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00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,494
- I voted for him to get rid
of all the woke stuff.
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00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,627
But now that retarded faggot
is just putting money
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00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:51,889
in his own pockets.
186
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,063
- Yeah!
- That's right!
187
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,500
- Are we just gonna sit here
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00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,067
and let him break every rule
of freedom?
189
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,025
- No!
- No way!
190
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,287
- Well, come on!
191
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,374
Let's go get
that son of a bitch.
192
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,334
Yeah!
[crowd clamoring]
193
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,465
[glass shattering]
- Yeah!
194
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,597
Come on!
Come on, let's go get him!
195
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,295
- Come on, let's get him!
196
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,818
- Let's go get him!
- Come on, let's get him!
197
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,646
[pounding on door]
198
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,257
- Come on out,
you piece of shit.
199
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,781
We're unelecting you.
200
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,220
[clamoring stops]
201
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,573
- Excuse me. Do you mind?
202
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,969
- What the hell do you think
you're doing, Garrison?
203
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,103
- I'm not doing anything.
204
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,843
- Oh, so you haven't been
looting the country
205
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,106
and ruling by fear
206
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:38,108
like some Middle Eastern
tinpot dictator?
207
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,981
- No, I've been sitting here
208
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,809
watching "White Lotus"
with Rick.
209
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,117
- But you got re-elected.
210
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,684
- He hasn't been back
to Washington in years.
211
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991
He gave all that up.
212
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,340
He's been really good.
213
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,474
- But if he's here,
214
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,520
then who's the retarded faggot
215
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,695
in the White House?
216
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:03,134
[lively string music]
217
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,484
MAN: Uh-huh.
218
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,050
Yeah.
219
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,878
OK.
220
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,577
- Mr. President, sir,
the prime minister of Canada
221
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,013
is here to see you.
222
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,101
- Mr. President,
why are you placing
223
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,798
these new tariffs on Canada?
224
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,061
What are you, some kind of
dictator from the Middle East?
225
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,324
♪
226
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,239
- A dictator from
the Middle East?
227
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,981
Hey, relax, guy.
228
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,462
I'm just your average Joe.
Take a rest.
229
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,986
- The people of Canada will
not be devalued like this.
230
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,466
- Aw, come on.
231
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,685
You don't want me to bomb you
like I did Iraq.
232
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,774
- I thought you
just bombed Iran.
233
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,297
Iran, Iraq--what the hell's
the difference?
234
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,821
Relax, guy.
235
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,520
[humming happily]
236
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999
Hey! Hey!
237
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653
What the fuck is this, buddy?
238
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,264
- This is the painting
you asked for, sir.
239
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,961
- Why is my dick so small?
240
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,354
- But that's the size it is
in the photo.
241
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:51,747
- Get this guy out of here!
242
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:52,922
I'm gonna sue you!
243
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,271
I'm gonna sue both of you.
244
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,317
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
245
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,802
Nobody makes fun of me
and gets away with it.
246
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,371
Hey, Satan!
247
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,765
- I don't want to right now.
248
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,941
- What? Hey, relax.
249
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,987
Come on, Satan.
I've been working hard all day.
250
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,684
- You haven't been working.
251
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,860
You've been doing your stupid
memes and just fuckin' around.
252
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,209
- Come here, guy.
253
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,646
Aw, come on, Satan.
254
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,560
You know you can't resist this.
255
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,213
♪
256
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,520
- I can't even see anything,
it's so small.
257
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,175
- Hey! I'll fucking sue you!
258
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,220
- God, fuck you!
259
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,525
- Aw, come on, Satan.
260
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,701
Don't be like that.
261
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,695
- [sighs deeply]
262
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,351
[ducks quacking]
263
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:20,924
- Eric?
264
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,145
Come on, Eric.
265
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,495
You--you can't keep
doing this to yourself.
266
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,498
- I used to laugh, Butters.
267
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,455
I used to have fun.
268
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197
But now
they've taken that away.
269
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,506
I'm not special anymore.
270
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,901
So what's the point
in me even existing?
271
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,466
- Eric, what are you saying?
272
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,906
- I'm saying that
it's the end, Butters.
273
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734
I'm gonna kill myself,
274
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,257
and you.
275
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,258
- Wait, me?
276
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,825
- It's a suicide pact, Butters.
277
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,043
It's just best we end it now.
278
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,263
- No, Eric, listen to me.
279
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,872
Woke isn't dead.
280
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,527
It's still out there,
somewhere,
281
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,224
just waiting to come back.
282
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,704
- It's not coming back.
- It's waiting to come back!
283
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,925
It's like a little tiny light
that's gonna shine again.
284
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,447
You just gotta give it
some time.
285
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,622
- [sighs]
286
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,276
I hope you're right, Butters.
287
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:12,279
But if it doesn't come back
by, like, Tuesday,
288
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,673
I'm killing us both.
289
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:21,070
- Mr. Marsh, I've called you
into my office
290
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,072
because I understand
that you have a problem
291
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,510
with Jesus in our schools.
292
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,642
[ethereal music]
293
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,557
- I don't have a problem
with it.
294
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,167
I mean, I think
it's kind of weird.
295
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,213
- Well, Mr. Mackey says
you were bullying Jesus
296
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:36,346
and wouldn't let him sit at
your table in the cafeteria.
297
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,132
- What? I didn't bully him.
298
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,569
Craig told him our table
was full, which it was.
299
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,005
- Mr. Marsh, Christ died for
your sins, and he loves us all.
300
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,574
There's only one truth,
one cross, and one savior.
301
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,271
And you will find him
in your heart.
302
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:49,925
- PC Principal?
303
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,798
- Power Christian Principal, yes?
304
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,016
- What happened?
305
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890
- What--what happened
with what?
306
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,935
- Well, you used to be,
like, super woke.
307
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545
And then starting
last November,
308
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,111
you started acting weird.
309
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,592
And now you're super Christian.
310
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:10,033
- I just realized that the
side I was on was hopeless.
311
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,948
And in times of hopelessness,
one finds Christ.
312
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,037
Come to him,
all who are heavy laden,
313
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,388
and he shall give you rest.
- And I shall give you rest.
314
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,825
- Dude, what's going on?
315
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,217
Like, none of this
seems normal.
316
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,565
- That's the kind of attitude
317
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,393
we are not gonna tolerate
at this school!
318
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,395
And, Mr. Marsh,
if you don't accept Christ,
319
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,921
then I'm gonna have
to expel you.
320
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,836
- K, I'm pretty sure
you can't do that.
321
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,358
Like, I think that's illegal.
322
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,316
- No, Mr. Marsh,
it's not illegal anymore.
323
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,362
This is 2025, K?
324
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,625
And not much is illegal.
325
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,803
- I accept Christ
into my heart.
326
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544
- And into your school.
327
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,850
- And in my school.
328
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,242
- And at your table
in the cafeteria.
329
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,854
- There wasn't any room
at my table--ah.
330
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,769
And at my table
in the cafeteria.
331
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,032
- Yay.
332
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,033
[upbeat funky music]
333
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,425
- ♪ Oh! ♪
334
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,426
♪ Faith in Christ ♪
335
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,689
♪ ♪
336
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,387
♪ We're bringing back Christ ♪
337
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,432
♪ ♪
338
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,216
♪ There's money in Christ ♪
339
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,218
♪
340
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,220
♪ Bringing back Christ
341
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:10,224
♪
342
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,615
♪ Christ makes the money ♪
343
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:15,098
♪ Christ makes the money
344
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,404
♪ Christ makes the money ♪
345
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:17,666
♪ ♪
346
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,450
- Mr. President,
a lot of your supporters
347
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,887
are starting
to turn against you.
348
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,932
- Hey, tell them
to take a rest.
349
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,673
- Sir, can you
please talk to them?
350
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,413
They're really riled up.
351
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,676
- All right, give me that.
352
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,677
Hey, relax, guys.
353
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,159
- Yeah, hi, uh, what do you
think you're doing?
354
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,464
Our children are being told
that they have to sit
355
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,989
with Jesus at lunchtime.
356
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991
- Listen, buddy,
you just need to relax.
357
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,470
All this protesting
makes me look bad.
358
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,994
Just take a rest.
359
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,909
- Well, no, we're not
gonna give it a rest.
360
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,431
All the people here
in South Park
361
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,347
want some goddamn answers.
362
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,609
- All right, then I'm
gonna sue your whole town.
363
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,873
You got that? $5 billion.
364
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,614
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
365
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,486
- What'd he say?
366
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,924
- He said he's suing us
for $5 billion.
367
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,928
- Fucking stupid idiots.
368
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,798
Think they can
mess with me, huh?
369
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:06,583
[lively string music]
370
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,151
Hey, Satan.
371
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,109
- I'm not in the mood
right now.
372
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,676
Another random bitch
commented on my Instagram
373
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,375
that you're on
the Epstein list.
374
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,679
- The Epstein list?
375
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,117
Are we still
talking "aboot" that?
376
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,032
- Well, are you on
the list or not?
377
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,684
It's weird that
whenever it comes up,
378
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,513
you just tell everyone
to relax.
379
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,427
- I'm not telling
everyone to relax.
380
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,126
Relax, guy!
381
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,606
- No, I need counseling.
382
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,520
You remind me more and more
of this other guy
383
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,523
I used to date, like, a lot.
384
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,047
Like, you guys
are exactly alike.
385
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:38,094
♪
386
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,095
- I love you.
387
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,489
- Ugh.
388
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,230
Come on, Satan.
389
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,669
- Vroom!
Pew!
390
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,844
Oh, no!
391
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,410
[imitating explosion]
Vroom!
392
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,804
- Butters, honey, your little
friend Cartman is here.
393
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,110
He said it's Tuesday,
and you guys have plans.
394
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,547
[ominous music]
395
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,548
Eric?
396
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,940
Oh, no.
397
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,378
Well, um, can you
tell him I'm not home?
398
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,120
- Butters, don't be antisocial.
399
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,861
Go play with your friend.
400
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,646
He's out in the garage playing
in our car with a hose.
401
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:10,561
- Oh, no!
402
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742
Oh, God, Eric!
403
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,006
- Hey, Butters, come on in.
404
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,399
- Eric, no! Get out of there!
405
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,357
- That side's locked, Butters.
406
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,924
You gotta get on
the other side.
407
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,276
- Eric, you don't
have to do this!
408
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,233
- Close the door, Butters!
- You can't give up--
409
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,364
- You're letting
all the fumes out!
410
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,540
Shut the fucking door!
- OK, fine!
411
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,369
You can't just give up
like everyone else has.
412
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,631
- Butters, it's over.
413
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,892
You really wanna
sit around for weeks
414
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,589
waiting for a slow demise?
415
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,113
- Well, no.
- Well, neither do I!
416
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,462
This is taking too long.
417
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:43,680
[inhaling]
418
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,031
Here you go, Butters.
419
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,684
Buckle up.
We're in for the last ride.
420
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,122
- All right, fine.
421
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,732
[inhaling]
422
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,822
- Suck it in, Butters.
423
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,388
We're heading for that
big woke kingdom in the sky.
424
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,955
- OK, then.
425
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:57,957
[inhales]
426
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,831
[clock ticking]
427
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,529
HOST: This is "60 Minutes."
428
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,965
Oh, boy.
429
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,141
Oh, shit.
430
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,448
Uh, oh, God.
431
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,929
The small town
of South Park, Colorado
432
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,365
is protesting against
the president.
433
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,411
The townspeople claim
that the president--
434
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,978
who is a great man--
435
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415
- A great man.
- Great guy.
436
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,894
We know he's probably watching.
437
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,419
And, uh, we are just reporting
on this town in Colorado
438
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,248
that's being sued
by the president
439
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,031
and they are fighting back.
440
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,728
- And just to be clear,
we don't agree with them.
441
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,122
- No, no, no, no.
442
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,081
We think these protesters
are total retards.
443
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,300
But our own Jim Conner
has more.
444
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,650
- Uh--oh, God.
445
00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,174
Uh--uh, Tom, I'm here
with the townspeople
446
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654
speaking out against
the president.
447
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,743
It all started
when a father got upset
448
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,484
that Jesus was being forced
on his son at school.
449
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,009
Young Stan Marsh is questioning
the president's policies.
450
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,707
I don't know.
451
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:53,969
You know, I don't know why
he's questioning the president.
452
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,884
He's probably
a faggot or something.
453
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,496
But the townspeople say they
owe the president nothing.
454
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,325
- We aren't gonna be told
what to do by anyone.
455
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,545
- We all know
the woke stuff went too far,
456
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,330
but the answer isn't going
too far the other way.
457
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,159
- It's not a bad thing to have
a little compassion for people.
458
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,988
It's not a bad thing to care
a little for the environment.
459
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,468
The Stotch family
is proud to say
460
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,818
that we own an electric car.
461
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,651
- [sighs deeply]
462
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,871
- Boy, this sure is
taking a long time.
463
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:30,353
- Yeah, the human body
does everything it can
464
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,659
in the final stages
to try and cling to life.
465
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,575
Shouldn't be much longer now.
466
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:35,924
JIM CONNER:
Things are really heating up
467
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,752
in the small town
of South Park.
468
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:40,668
More and more citizens
are uniting in solidarity
469
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,539
against what they call
the president's oppression.
470
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,281
The townspeople are saying
things are never hopeless,
471
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,110
that they must
all stand strong
472
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,372
for what they believe in.
473
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,766
- We're in this
for the long haul, guys.
474
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,594
This is about what's right.
475
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:57,293
And we will fight, even
if we have to do it alone.
476
00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,340
[fireworks exploding]
477
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,471
- Wait, we don't
have to do it alone.
478
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,691
Look!
479
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:06,911
[cheering]
480
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,652
It's Jesus!
481
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:11,306
[cheering]
482
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,918
[ethereal music]
483
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,355
- Let us break bread.
484
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,835
Break bread with me.
485
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,273
This is my body, given for you.
486
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,928
Do this in remembrance of me.
487
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,891
Now just eat the bread,
and listen.
488
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,461
I didn't wanna come back
and be in the school,
489
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,420
but I had to because it
was part of a lawsuit
490
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,466
and the agreement
with Paramount.
491
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,424
- The president's suing you?
492
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,339
- [clenched teeth] The guy can
do whatever he wants now
493
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,212
that someone backed down, OK?
494
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,778
Eat the bread.
Eat the bread.
495
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,346
You guys saw
what happened to CBS?
496
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,393
Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?
497
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,002
Paramount!
498
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,005
Do you really wanna end up
like Colbert?
499
00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:00,182
You guys gotta stop
being stupid.
500
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,228
We can't understand you.
501
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,532
- [clenched teeth]
Just shut up,
502
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,014
or we're going to get canceled,
you idiots.
503
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,449
- [MUFFLED]
What the hell is he saying?
504
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540
- Tom, they're calling it
the Sermon on the Mount.
505
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,673
Hundreds of South Park faithful
are flocking to the area
506
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:17,459
where Jesus Christ continues
to speak his words of wisdom.
507
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,506
- [clenched teeth] If someone
has the power of the presidency
508
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,291
and also has the power
to sue and take bribes,
509
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,380
then he can do
anything to anyone!
510
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,469
It's the fucking president, dude.
511
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,169
All of you, shut the fuck up,
or South Park is over.
512
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,605
It's fucking over.
513
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,737
Just stop
and shut the fuck up.
514
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,697
KYLE'S DAD: Ye--yes, sir.
515
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,351
OK.
516
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,831
Absolutely.
517
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,398
Yes, thank you, Mr. President.
518
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,356
We'll be happy
to pay that, sir.
519
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,574
Yes, sir. I--
520
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,230
I will relax,
and I'll take a rest.
521
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,187
Yes, thank you.
522
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,319
Thank you very much.
523
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,626
[sighs] OK, we settled.
524
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,976
[sighing in relief]
- Oh, we settled.
525
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,281
Thank God.
526
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,372
I got the president down
to $3.5 million.
527
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,808
- $3.5 million?
That's--that's not so bad.
528
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,680
- That's really fair.
I think that's fair.
529
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334
We'll just have to cut
some funding
530
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,857
for our schools
and hospitals and roads,
531
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,642
and that should be that.
- Yeah.
532
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:10,861
- OK.
[crowd murmuring]
533
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,081
- Yeah, well,
that's not quite all.
534
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,518
As part of the settlement,
we also had to agree
535
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,694
to doing pro-Trump messaging.
536
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,870
- How are we supposed to do
pro-Trump messaging?
537
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,220
- Oh, come on, guys.
538
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,265
We're South Park!
539
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,484
We can do it.
540
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:25,920
- Yeah. All right.
- He's right.
541
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,878
- We just gotta work together.
- Yeah!
542
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,444
- All right!
- Yeah! Yeah!
543
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:31,446
[sustained beep]
544
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,710
[poignant music]
545
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,018
NARRATOR: Who walked
through the desert for you?
546
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:39,672
♪ ♪
547
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,501
Who survived the wilderness
548
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,591
and gave
the ultimate sacrifice?
549
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:48,420
When things heat up, who will
deliver us from temptation?
550
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:50,987
♪
551
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,295
Donald J. Trump.
552
00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:54,731
♪ ♪
553
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:58,561
No matter how hot it gets,
554
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:02,130
he's not afraid
to fight for America.
555
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,961
With conviction, discipline,
and trust in God,
556
00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,441
he survived the desert.
557
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:16,405
♪
558
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:21,280
PENIS: I'm Donald J. Trump,
and I endorse this message.
559
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,022
NARRATOR: Trump--
560
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,503
his penis is teeny tiny,
561
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,332
but his love for us is large.
562
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:37,296
♪ ♪
563
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:48,176
- Oh, I think I might be going.
564
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,570
CARTMAN: Yep, sweet
death is about to come.
565
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,527
I love you, man.
566
00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,794
[theme music]
567
00:21:57,925 --> 00:22:04,714
♪ ♪
40468
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