Original subtitles

Right and left and up and in, folding napkins for the win.

Right and left and up and in, folding napkins for the win.

Love you, man.

You too.

Right and left and... Yeah, I don't get it.

See, just go like this.

Right and left and up and in.

No, I know how to fold napkins. I just don't know why we have to fold them.

It's for charity, Charlotte.

Napkins for the needy.

You can be part of the problem or part of the solution.

Up to you.

Right. But how does folding napkins help the needy? Oh, my God. You don't think

napkins are helpful?

I do. I just think that we should give the needy basic things instead, like...

Clothes or food?

Well, uh, how are the needy supposed to wipe their mouth after they're done

eating your precious food, Charlotte?

Yeah, and do not say on their clothes. Because that would ruin the clothes that

you just gave them. I just... Think, Charlotte.

Right and left and up and in.

Folding napkins for the win.

What's up?

Right and left and up and in.

Folding napkins for the win.

Fine, I'll tell you.

Tell us what.

Captain Man and Kid Danger just got hired to work security at... MomCon!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Feel that?

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! What the fuck is that? What's MomCon?

Go home. Just leave.

I don't know what MomCon is either.

Bye!

MomCon is a convention of moms.

It's the mother of all convention. And it comes to 12 of you every year. And

there's only two ways to get into MomCon.

Be a mom or work security.

Yeah, and last year, Ray's mom costume was terrible. Look.

Can you believe it?

He's so desperate. He needs it so bad. I thought I told you two to leave.

Dude, I don't want to work security at MomCon. That sounds boring.

Henry, look, you know I love moms, okay? Please do not ruin this for me. I will

literally never ask you for help with anything ever again in your life, ever.

Okay, fine. I'll work mom time with you. Great. I just need your help with one

other thing before that. What? You just said that again. That was the past.

Henry, let's focus on the future, specifically this weekend when you and I

guard the Envygram wall.

What? What's the Envygram wall?

Where'd you come from?

I was napping in my porch when you guys woke me up.

The Envygram wall is a mural that travels across the country.

If you have 10 ,000 followers on your Envygram account, you can take a picture

in front of the wall to make other people jealous.

I want to take my picture in front of the Envygram wall.

See? That's how it works.

Henry and I have to guard the wall all weekend and make sure that only people

with at least 10 ,000 Envygram followers take their picture in front of it. A

weekend? 48 straight hours, yeah.

Nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm not doing that. Hey!

The men running MomCon told me the only way we work security is if we guard the

Envygram wall first.

But I don't... I want you on that wall, Henry.

I need you on that wall.

But I don't care about MomCon. Do not come between me and MomCon!

I will end you. Wow.

Nice. Real mature.

Come on, hen.

Ray needs a win.

Yeah. He's been angry ever since that video of the bird pooping in his mouth

went viral. No, I forgot about that. And you will continue to forget about that

or I will end you.

Anybody want to watch the video?

All the time.

Swat, don't you pull up that video or I will end you.

Captain Man, you've traveled through time, space, and even underground to

Swellview safe.

So tell us.

Who's your favorite Spice Girl?

This just in Captain Man's mouth.

Stop laughing at me!

So you finally laser -proofed the

monitors, huh?

Yeah.

Good job.

This is Brian the Fender Bender with Captain Man, who's about to let the

VIGs, or Very Important Grammars, stand in front of the Envygram wall to take

their PICs, or photos in color.

Preston, are you excited for your wall fee? Hey, guys, I got a lot going on

right now, but I'm also taking some me time because self -care is so important.

They don't really talk. They just look in the screens and say stuff that

make any sense.

If you don't live your truth, you'll die your lie.

And don't forget to try Pimpley Skin Cream because self -care is so

All right, just show me your follower count, pouty mouth.

11 ,000.

Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.

Just get in there.

Landscape, please.

I have seven exclusive filters on my phone. I need you to use them in the

following order.

Sepulveda, Melrose, Rodeo. And we're done.

My baby!

Wiper?

What do you want? I'm guarding a wall. I know.

I want to take a wall fee in front of it, but, uh...

I'm a few followers short right now.

Are you serious? You don't have 10 ,000 followers? It's been a tough month,

okay? But you know I'm good for it. Let me sneak in there and take a pic.

Okay, fine. Make it quick.

Excuse me. Hello. What's up? Hey, what's going on? Hi.

Does she have enough followers to take a picture?

Yeah? Yeah, we're good. We're good. We're good.

10K, 10K. I've got 10K. Okay, then just chill out. All right.

Well, I'm going to need to go ahead and verify that for myself.

Or you could just take my word for it. Well, then I wouldn't be doing my job,

which I'd like to do this weekend, as well as next month at MobCon, the mother

of all conventions.

Dude, are you serious?

I'm deadly serious, Kid Danger.

I don't joke about moms.

Give me my phone. Well, rules are rules.

Just apply to other people.

Don't bite me. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up.

I'm good.

I'm just going to walk away.

Good choice.

Well, that's why I'm doing it.

Fine. But I'll be back when you leave.

yet to see that but uh it

all

just kind of happened i wanted an after -school

job but then an Indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime. Feels good.

I guess I better wake him up.

Hey, little fella.

You fell asleep, little guy?

What's up?

I said you fell asleep.

Dude,

wake up!

I'm up, man, I'm up!

Gee, stop, man!

Stop!

Man!

You're supposed to be guarding the wall.

From who? There's no one here. It's four in the morning. That's right. It's the

perfect time for one of those enneagrammers that doesn't have enough

to sneak in here and take a pic while you're sleeping.

Are those candy bars freedom signs?

I know that sound.

Sounds like it's coming from...

It's a little bird.

Oh, I want to pick with the Envygram wall.

How many followers do you have, little guy?

Huh?

It's a bird.

The one that used your mouth in the toilet?

Yes. The one that dropped a dung on your tongue?

Not at all.

The one that left a booty bomb on your lip?

Not at all.

I don't even know if it's the same one.

No, that's him, all right.

His thing is just weighing the first time we met.

for a special occasion.

Sweet dreams, friend.

You

just

blew up the Envygram wall.

At least I got that bird.

in my face.

Go for a party.

Ray accidentally destroyed the Envygram wall last night.

Yeah. Saw that one coming.

Yeah. Well, uh, there's a bunch of Envygrammers here ready to take a

with a wall that doesn't exist.

I saw that one coming, too.

And the same bird pooped in Ray's mouth again.

I did not see that one coming.

Yeah, neither did Ray.

No, but seriously, he's not doing well.

Anyway, Ray messed something up and we need you to fix it.

Schwartz! Schwartz, you gotta help me, man.

Yeah, I know.

If they find out that I blew up the Envygram wall, I'll lose the MomCon job

well as...

Any reason to live, do you understand me?

Relax, buddy.

No need to catch poop in your mouth over this.

Just help me.

Hey, cargo pants.

Show us your vault.

We want to take pic.

Okay, first of all, these are utility pants?

Second of all, you don't even have enough followers to take a photo in

a wall. Uh, yeah, I do.

Wait, what? Yeah, what?

a text message on my smartphone and now simply to check it.

What ho?

Boy, I received word from the good people at Envygram.

You did? I didn't get one.

Well, why don't I just read you mine then, out loud?

Just going to paraphrase here. I thought you said you were going to read it out

loud. Why don't you shut your mouth?

It says that you now need one million followers. take a picture at the

wall.

I just want to understand why you got a text I didn't because I'm kind of the

point person on this. What are you talking about, dude? I have a million

followers.

She does.

Well, did I say a million?

Yes, when you paraphrased.

Right. Well, I must have read that wrong. See, this is why I should be the

person.

I mean... You actually...

Need to have... Does anybody here have 10 million followers?

No. Well, that's how much you need. You need 10 million, at least, to get to do

it. So, yeah. I hate you!

So, uh, yep.

Folks, unless anybody here has 10 million followers, the current state

Okay? All right. Okay, listen. From now on, if the Indiegram people text you,

you need to tell me right away. What are you talking about, dude? They didn't

text me.

I just made that up so they'd leave and buy some time while we fix this.

Oh, I get it.

It's a lying thing.

Yes!

Smart. Hey!

Oh, it's because she's coming. Okay. Do not, I won't, do not think. Okay, okay,

okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Something happened to the wall, didn't it? Ray blew it up. Oh, come on!

Okay, what's the plan? I can't watch these influencers teach Ray how to take

perfect selfie anymore.

Well, that doesn't feel right. No, hold your arm higher. Higher than this? It

hurts. That does hurt, though. Yeah, if it hurts, you're doing it right. All

right. Now, look down.

With your eyes, not your face.

What's it do with my face?

Say the word.

Prude. Prude. You have to pick.

Crassus, you are a genius.

That's right.

That's right, Crassus. With three dollars fine.

See, now I hate you again.

Jasper's going to sneak behind the curtain with Swaz's super sucker and get

of all the rubble from the old wall.

No. Once Jasper's out of the way, Swaz will put the miniature version of the

wall into place and use the Grow Bro 3000.

What's the Grow Bro 3000 do?

Makes things grow, bro.

It's wet. See you soon.

I need some time to finish recreating the skunk buttermoose mural.

Jasper, did you just eat that whole gummy bear?

I'm going to throw up.

Here, do it in the super soccer.

Breaking news.

Swellview has a fever, and its name is Booshtag.

Hashtag Booshtag, that is, who is moments away from arriving to take his

at the Envygram wall. I used to be a war correspondent in Afghanistan.

Are we too late?

No. I trowed up.

Okay, just go suck up the rubber from the first wall.

We need a distraction.

On it.

I'll put on a pirate hat and climb up that tree. Once I'm up there, I'll come

with a better plan. Then you two switch clothes.

Hashtag bootstag is here!

Okay. Everyone ready to see the same wall that was here before?

Hold my phone.

Why?

You're gonna get a picture of me with that wall.

I don't get that bird someday.

Yeah, but what about MomCon?

Huh? They're going to see that you just blew up the wall you're supposed to be

guarding. Eh, just get Schwoz to build another one before the MomCon people

find out.

What's up, guys? You just saw it live on President's Story. Captain Man just

destroyed the Enneagram wall.

I think they know, dude.

Uh,

okay. I put a pirate hat on and climb up that tree.

Then you and Jasper switch clothes.

It's MomCon. We're fired.

No!

I'm used to it now.