Original subtitles

I know it's hard, but don't give up.

We just started like five minutes ago.

You've got to push through the pain.

Nothing about this is painful, except for watching you.

Yeah.

Life begins when your comfort zone ends.

Are you even listening to that?

Teach a man to fish, and he'll sleep for a lifetime.

All right, he's lost it. I'll get the oxygen.

No, no, no.

There's no room for oxygen breaks, Dean's father said.

You've taken two oxygen breaks already.

And I ate myself, boy!

Oh, thank you, baby girl.

Don't ever call me that.

What's with that baby boy? No idea, big papa.

What was that?

Henry! Henry, I need to find Henry. Right now. I need to find him. Henry!

You guys saw her too, right?

Yeah, kind of hard to miss that. Do you guys know who that is? She might be new.

I have no idea who that woman is. I feel like I should have said something.

She reminds me of Jasper's mom.

Right. Yeah, she definitely does.

Oh, but like prettier and more normal.

Come on, tell me where Henry is. It's very important that I find him.

Hello! Am I talking to myself?

I've got to tell him that... Hi, Charlotte.

Did he dull up the toot? What?

I cannot use it to... Looks like she's been spasmodicizing.

Where is Henry?

You lost it. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Okay, only me and you used it.

I didn't lose it, then you lost it. I found it.

Nice.

Why do they make the Pear TV remote so small?

I don't know, but let's just put the cushions back where we had them. What in

the heck? I honestly just lost it again.

I was standing here and it was in my hands and it disappeared.

See you in a week.

Where are you going?

Where's mom?

Yeah, where's mom?

Why are you dressed like that? Is that my new suitcase? Are those my shorts?

Where's mom?

Whoa.

That is a lot of questions. And I would answer them all if I weren't late for

Fake Fest.

You got tickets to Fake Fest? What's Fake Fest?

It's a music festival on a tropical island once owned by mob boss Rob Moss.

Be back in a week. Wait.

Leave us here for a week? Yeah, can't we come with you?

Sorry. Could only afford two tickets.

Also, the fake festival has a strict no nerd policy.

Oh, so Henry can't go.

What? That's right.

You're a nerd, son.

I'm not a nerd.

I have two friends, and as I say that, I realize that number isn't very high.

If you're not a nerd, then prove it. Have a giant party while I'm gone.

Wait, you want me to have a party while you're gone?

Look, Henry, part of being a teenager is having wild parties when your parents

are out of town, doing thick stuff with your bro -bros, and then getting in lots

of trouble when your mom and I come home earlier than expected.

Yeah, where is mom?

I'm leaving for a week, and I want you to have a raging party or you are

grounded. Do you understand me, young man?

I'll help him to the other party.

Thank you, my cool child.

Are you serious?

I'm off to fake that. Catch me on the twits.

Hashtag fake... Fake spelled the fake way, Jake spelled the Jake way. Later,

Jones!

I'm not a nerd.

You want me to invite some of my friends to the party?

Yes, please.

Um, I, uh, I gotta go.

Where? There's a oven on at the zoo, so I'm just gonna turn that off. You don't

have to lie anymore.

I know you're a kid danger.

Oh. Yeah.

Emergency at the man cave. Gotta go. Can I come?

Sorry, nerds only. Later, Toad.

Come on!

Are you okay?

Stop! What happened?

Okay. You know how I get up every morning before dawn to go fishing?

No. Well, starting today, I do.

And I was pulling some crappy up the creek when I got triple beat. Yeah, me

What's the emergency?

I don't know.

I was trying to get down the man cave and my man pole, my man line, and my man

lures all got caught in this stupid curtain.

fishing with me sometime, buddy.

I'm good.

Whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here?

Yeah. Are you wearing my unitard?

It's one size fits all.

I wasn't talking about the unitard. I was talking about who's this crazy old

lady.

Henry, thank God you're here.

Yeah. Hey, who are you?

How do you know my name?

Watch out. She's dangerous.

Okay. Don't come any closer, lady.

We don't want to hurt you.

Hey, I'm not done with you.

We also don't want to be hurt by you.

I wouldn't hurt you.

I'm your sister.

What? It's me, Piper.

What?

the future what what it all just kind of happened

i wanted an after -school job but then an indestructible superhero hired me to

be his sidekick now we blow bubbles and fight crime feels good

So good to see you again.

There's no soap in the future because your hands are kind of dirty.

Oh, it's not dirty. It's cyborg robot blood oil.

Okay, all right. Let's put our hands in our pockets and never touch anything

ever again.

In the future, there are no pockets.

No pockets?

The future sounds terrible.

She's not from the future.

She's just some crazy lady who wandered in here. Probably looking for turkey

jerky.

And from the future. But seriously, do you have any turkey jerky? Because I

would love some.

Here. Go nuts, Frizzy McGuire.

See?

Oh. In the future, the only food the robots give us is tasteless vitamin

Well, here in the present, you can't know about me or Henry or the man cave,

Schwoz, go get the memory wiper, please.

Only two.

We're running out of time.

Piper's in great danger. We need to leave now.

and help her. Why?

Wait, why is Piper in danger? Are you seriously buying her story?

Well, you and Henry have traveled through time before, so we know that

travel is possible. It's true.

We need to leave now.

Take me to your house, to our house, the house where we grew up.

If you really teleported here from the future, why don't you just go straight

there? Good one, Jasper. Thank you.

Because what is coming for Piper, for me, I can't face it alone. I need help.

You certainly do.

Professional help.

And right now, you've got an appointment with Dr. Fifth!

Okay.

You're starting to bug me about as much as Henry's real little sister does. I am

Henry's real little sister, and we have to leave now.

Well, maybe if you told us why something's coming for Piper, Ray would

easier time believing you.

Because in the future, I lead a rebel army against the robots that enslave

humanity. The robots can't get to me in the future, so they are going to send a

terrible machine to destroy me. Piper, in the past, it's coming today.

This sounds pretty bad, dude. This sounds like this lady's watched

too many times.

What's the Terminator?

It's a really old movie where all this same stuff happens. Yes, The Terminator.

That movie gave the robots the idea to enslave us all. That, and The Matrix,

the sad first scene of Finding Nemo where the... Look, maybe we should just

just be safe.

You want to be safe? Yeah. We take this lady to a loony bin.

We need to leave now.

Listen, if she's telling the truth, then you just got flipped by the future

leader of the human resistance.

If she's crazy, then you just got beat up by some crazy lady who likes...

jerky. Got any more?

Second time's the charm. Let's dance, crazy Susan!

Oh, man!

Who taught you how to fight? You did. In the future.

Okay, that checks out.

got to your sister, then according to time travel rules, Looney Gaga here

suddenly disappear.

She's here. Your dumb sister's probably fine.

Yeah, well, the rules of time travel change every time we do it, dude.

And if the robot didn't crash this place, who did?

That would be me.

Piper!

What are you doing?

Well, I called my friends, but none of them wanted to come to your nerd party.

So, I'm trashing the place so that when Dad gets back, he'll think you threw

one.

Can you call them back and tell them it's a cool party?

They know you.

Won't work.

Hey, who's this? Your mom?

No, she's not my mom.

Your girlfriend?

I'll tell you who she is.

She's your... I

can taste

the robot blood.

What's your beezer, geezer? My beezer is you can't tell Piper who I am or

anything about me. Why not?

Because look at me. If Piper finds out that she ends up looking like this,

she'll never want to lead the human rebel army, and then the robots will

Question. Is everyone in the future a sucker?

Come on, man. No, you come on. I don't believe this big bucket of crap. I don't

know, man.

Your sister's fine. She's crazy. Let's take her to a hospital.

It's here to destroy Piper. What is?

Him? This little guy?

Yes. The robots disguise themselves as kids so people won't think they're a

threat. Okay.

Watch out the showers, Pigpen. I'll handle this.

Because I got a pretty good sense for danger and this little fella wouldn't

hide.

It's real.

I told you. Everything you said is real. I told you. Okay. We have to protect

Piper at all costs. I'm going to protect her from the inside.

What makes you think something's going on?

Okay,

I'm starting to think that crazy old lady might be telling the truth.

Someone better tell me what the heck is going on right now.

Okay, don't freak out.

But there is a robot outside who is here to destroy you. What?

See, I just told you not to freak out.

But don't worry.

We will protect you.

I feel so safe.

Okay.

Okay.

You may have gotten the drop on me before.

That's just because I wouldn't expect... What the butt?

It's okay. It's okay. I got this. Hey, buddy.

I need you to stop.

Stop moving.

Red light.

You have to stop if I say red light.

That's the rules of the game.

Relax. I speak fluent robots.

Adios, roboto.

Banning.

Huh. Seems like you just made him angrier.

Yeah.

Let's see how he feels about that.

Did I get him?

Who did I land on?

Your girlfriend.

But we'll discuss that later. Right now, I got boy problem.

And this time, I'm going to keep it safe distance.

I'm not even mad.

Not where did he go. When did he go?

Uh, just now.

The robots can jump through time whenever they want.

What? Of course they can. Okay.

He jumped forward in time to avoid getting blasted. He'll be back any

have to leave. Who is this lady? I need absolute silence. Could someone tell

me... Could someone tell me... I need absolute silence.

Hey, Schwoz, long story. Turns out that everything that that crazy lady from the

future said is true.

You're from... From the future?

He needs absolute silence.

Some crazy, strong robot kid from the future showed up to my house and threw

through the roof a bunch of times.

Yeah, that was pretty funny. But listen, this kid can, like, warp through time,

so... Hey, your bot hasn't come back down yet. How high did that robot kid

him? I know, it's pretty funny.

Got it. Okay, Schwoz says he can whip up a time trap if we lure this kid to the

man cave. Well, how do we do that? We're gonna use Piper's bait. Yeah!

robot here's my sister will be in the man cave bye

you

guys that robot kid just threw me into space i was

wrong the earth is definitely right

to walk in this evening.

Then take them off.

I'm not going to fight an angry robot kid from the future on bare feet,

Charlotte.

Think.

Okay. First of all, don't ever tell me to think.

I warned you.

Yeah, but you sounded crazy. You still sound crazy. What are you doing?

Walking the door.

Why? We need the robot to follow us into the man cave.

Yeah, we're going to use Piper's bait. I don't want to be bait. Okay, well, no

one ever wants to be bait.

Waz needs a few more minutes to set up the time trap. So we came up here to try

and blow down the robot.

Is he even out there? Yeah. I don't know. Be there. I don't know. I don't

Be right back.

Piper, quit screaming. We're trying to look for the robot boy.

He's right there.

What?

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

Guess future robots are waterproof.

Smart.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hey, aren't you coming? No.

I'm going to stay here and try to buy straws some more time. It's not going to

be easy. That robot kid can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or

or fear.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

What's happening?

I can't stop dancing!

Henry! We couldn't stop him!

He's forcing us to dance!

It's actually pretty fun!

Really?

That thing's on its way.

How much more time do you need to make that time trap, Floss?

Eh, not on me, not at least.

No problem.

Need to attach more flashing lights.

Is that really necessary?

Not at all, but look how cool they are.

It works.

Yeah, I caught them in a time loop.

Now he's stuck reliving the same three seconds over and over and over and over

and over.

We get it.

Looks like he's dancing.

Oh, yeah.

It's a little dance thing. Look at this.

Now do the dance.

You see that?

What's up?

Dad's coming home.

What? I thought he was at the fake fest.

You're not going to believe me.

a party and not being the two -friended nerd he usually is.

That kind of hurts.

He's on his way right now.

How are we going to make it look like you're having a party?

In the future, against robots that look like children.

You won't believe me if I told you.

My boss.

He was in the ceiling.

Hey.

Where's your wife?

Yeah, where is mom?