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1
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,880
And the scene described it as horrifying
and highly disturbing.
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00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,480
And that's the story of my weekend.
3
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:24,840
Trent?
4
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,160
Breaking news.
5
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:34,520
Or should I say... Come on, I missed the
6
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:35,980
pun. What?
7
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:40,340
The pun! The funny word joke they do at
the beginning of the movie. Hey, we
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00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,360
can't hear what you're saying because
the blender is too loud.
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00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:46,200
It's drowning out what you're saying.
10
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,820
I'm missing the word play.
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00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:02,140
In other news, police say a truck full
of imported Venetian ham was stolen
12
00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:07,960
today. Venetian ham is the world's most
absurdly expensive pork product, often
13
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,180
referred to as the Ferrari of ham.
14
00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:15,620
Authorities also say that some of the
stolen hams contain an anti -theft
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00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,580
a capsule of blue dye that will explode
if someone tries to eat the ham.
16
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,680
Explosive blue dye?
17
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,300
More like...
18
00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:31,240
Explosive. Are you kidding me right now?
19
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:32,200
And
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00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:40,860
that
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00:01:40,860 --> 00:01:43,480
is our final joke of the broadcast.
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00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,340
Good night, 12U.
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00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:49,300
That was a good one, Mary.
24
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:04,699
That's just great.
25
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,540
Who even knows when the news will be out
again?
26
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,259
Same time every day, dude.
27
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,000
What's with all the blending?
28
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,300
Oh, we're on a liquid cleanse.
29
00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:16,140
Hmm? We're on a liquid cleanse.
30
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:17,620
That's stupid.
31
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:19,080
Hmm? That's stupid.
32
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:23,060
No? We saw a video on the internet that
says if you eat nothing but liquid food
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00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:26,500
for three days, you get night vision.
Yeah. You can see everything.
34
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:28,220
At night.
35
00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:32,480
Smart one. Science freak. You're both
falling for this?
36
00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:33,940
I want night vision.
37
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,400
Sometimes it's just nice to be part of
something.
38
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,660
Hey,
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00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,600
Dad, what's up?
40
00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:46,400
You gotta come home. Uh, why?
41
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,180
Because Piper's new boyfriend is coming
over for dinner with his family, you're
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00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:54,640
in our family, so you need to be here.
Uh, yeah, but I'm kind of on a liquid
43
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,600
cleanse right now, so... For night
vision?
44
00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,200
That's real.
45
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:02,710
Yeah, so, uh, I'm gonna have to use my
get -out -of -dinner card, which I'm
46
00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:04,730
holding right now, even though you can't
see it.
47
00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:09,490
No, no, your mom already used hers. I'm
holding it right here, even though you
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00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:10,490
can't see it.
49
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:11,750
Dang it!
50
00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:13,170
Come home.
51
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:14,630
Okay, click.
52
00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:15,910
Click.
53
00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:18,290
Hey, I gotta go.
54
00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:20,190
Huh? You can't go. You're alone.
55
00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:23,730
Somebody stole a truck full of fancy ham
with exploding blue dots.
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00:03:24,110 --> 00:03:26,090
Dang it!
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00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:27,890
Uh, I can't even...
58
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:32,340
I'm happy with the situation.
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00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,460
I'm just going to assume you said I
should go home.
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00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,680
No. Go.
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00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:36,860
No, stay.
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00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:37,839
Go away.
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00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,540
No. Okay, goodbye.
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00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:48,540
How long did it take the news to end?
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00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,990
That's what smells so good.
66
00:04:10,490 --> 00:04:11,490
Thank.
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00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:17,170
You didn't tell me Piper was cooking.
She's making fish lasagna. Each layer is
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00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:18,170
different fish.
69
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,130
Hey, guys, does catfish ever go bad?
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00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,130
It's probably fine.
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00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:26,930
Man, I'm out of here.
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00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:28,210
No.
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00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:32,770
I've hidden food all over the house. We
can pretend to eat Piper's food, but
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00:04:32,770 --> 00:04:33,770
really we can...
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00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,460
Ketchup on our reading.
76
00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:40,180
Book cheese.
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00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,080
Yep.
78
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,140
Finally found a good use for book.
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00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,500
It's supposed to be on a liquid cleanse.
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00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:48,940
Whatever.
81
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,660
Hey, what are you guys doing?
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00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,040
Uh, we are reading a book.
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00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:59,460
So many great words.
84
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,900
I like this cheese, but now I want some
bread.
85
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:14,500
Fresno girl dolls that Piper brought
home today. I'd love to, Daddy.
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00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,580
Be careful. Those are worth a lot of
money.
87
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,140
Oh, we will, Piper.
88
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,460
Would you like some bread from ahead?
89
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,100
We should hang out more.
90
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,260
Last week I was mowing my lawn barefoot,
cut my toe off.
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00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:58,200
Mom, I told you not to talk about your
missing toe. And tuck in your shirt. I
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00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,940
can't. It's hiding a stain on my jeans.
It's shaped like a cow.
93
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,160
See?
94
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,179
Touch it.
95
00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,540
Go on, touch it. Make it move.
96
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,860
I don't want to make it move.
97
00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:13,660
Nice to meet you, sir. I'm Billy Bilski.
Nice to meet you, Billy.
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00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,040
Did you just say Bilski?
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00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:18,419
That's right.
100
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,820
I'm Brittany Bilski.
101
00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:23,160
Miss Swellview Face Puncher.
102
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:28,580
Yeah, I don't want to touch that either.
Look, you don't happen to have a son
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00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:30,040
named Mitch, do you?
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00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,520
No stinking way.
105
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:35,380
Well, if it ain't Henry J.
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00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,720
Fart.
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00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,320
Mitch Bilski, mommy.
108
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,400
J?
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00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,760
Henry's middle name is Prudence.
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00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:46,020
Prudence?
111
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,600
So it's Henry P. Fart?
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00:06:58,760 --> 00:06:59,739
at an after school job.
113
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:03,020
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick.
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00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,920
Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.
115
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,160
Feels good.
116
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,760
Got up the tube.
117
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,600
Where's your mom?
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00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,640
Jail?
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00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:40,680
No. My husband's in jail.
120
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,060
So is my daughter. You ever meet Bish?
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00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,600
Yeah. I think she used to bully Henry's
good friend, Charlotte.
122
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,200
Aw. She and my husband share a father
-daughter cell.
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00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,900
Posey.
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00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,360
What'd you call me?
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00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:57,120
Hey, guys.
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00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,220
Guess who I am.
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00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:04,760
Okay, I'll give you a hint. My middle
name is Prudence, and I look like a
128
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,510
weenie. Oh, oh, you're Henry.
129
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:09,010
You're Henry.
130
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:13,050
Those are my clothes. What were you
doing up in my room?
131
00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:14,610
Rubbing my butt on your pillow.
132
00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:16,130
You serious?
133
00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:17,490
Ha! You wish.
134
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:19,550
Ooh, milk cheese.
135
00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:26,910
Mmm. Uh, Piper, do you want to get this
dinner started so the Bilskis can eat
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00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:27,789
and get on their way?
137
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:32,450
We're good to go. Now, does anyone not
want whipped cream on their fish
138
00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:33,690
No.
139
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,780
My other son gets here.
140
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:43,520
That's him.
141
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,200
Is this the right house?
142
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,640
I know that voice. Why do I know that
voice?
143
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,000
We're in here, Jeff.
144
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,840
I know that name. Why do I know that
name?
145
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:56,860
Hi. I hit your mailbox with my car.
146
00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:58,480
No! Yeah.
147
00:08:58,720 --> 00:08:59,720
Jeff! Mick!
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00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,880
Why are you dressed like that? You look
like a weenus.
149
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,140
Oh, yeah, no, I was just making fun of
him.
150
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,420
Classic Mitch.
151
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,180
Did you put your butt on his pillow?
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00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,800
He wishes.
153
00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:24,260
I do not wish that.
154
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,240
I'll relax you, weenus. Hi, I'm Jeff.
155
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,480
Uh, nope.
156
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,200
Okay.
157
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:34,120
Hey, I brought a gift for Billy's little
filly.
158
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,220
What? The future Mrs.
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00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,080
Billsky. Nope. The sister to this
mister.
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00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:43,600
Why don't you open the box, Jeff?
161
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,880
What is it?
162
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,280
It's a Venetian ham.
163
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,520
From Venetia.
164
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,900
Wait, isn't Venetian ham, like, crazy
expensive?
165
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,440
Yeah, and weren't a bunch of them stolen
this morning?
166
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:03,000
I don't know nothing about no stolen
ham.
167
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,500
Okay, and how did you pay for this one?
168
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,700
Well... I figured Mom's gonna make bank
when she sues the lawnmower company for
169
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,360
cutting off her toe, so why not spend
that money now?
170
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:13,580
On a ham.
171
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,300
Oh, he's the smart one.
172
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:21,860
Well, let's dig in, jerks. This pork
ain't gonna pig itself.
173
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,280
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.
174
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,920
You know, Piper spent all day making
fish lasagna with whipped cream.
175
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:32,700
And you can smell all seven fishes.
176
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,400
Thanks, Billy.
177
00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:38,150
I think someone's going to kiss.
178
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:45,850
How are we related? I can't stand you.
179
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:49,730
You always hit people's mailboxes. Okay,
okay, okay.
180
00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:54,510
Let's all eat the fish lasagna before it
gets warm, and then we'll eat Jeff's
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00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:56,050
hand. All right.
182
00:10:56,530 --> 00:11:00,730
I'd like to do a fish appetizer. Where
are you going, Pruden?
183
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:02,130
It's time to eat, Prudy.
184
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,470
I was just going to go outside.
185
00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:08,450
real quick and fix the mailbox.
186
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:12,370
Your son's a total wiener.
187
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:13,690
Thank you.
188
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,130
He gets it from me.
189
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,790
October, Henry, you have to speak up.
The science freak keeps fixing the
190
00:11:20,790 --> 00:11:24,990
blender. I can't speak up. My family's
inside with the Bilskis. They'll hear
191
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:26,590
Just hang on a second.
192
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:32,330
You know what I'm saying?
193
00:11:32,930 --> 00:11:35,330
You know that truck full of Venetian
hams I got stolen?
194
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:40,200
Oh, yeah, the fancy hands with the
exploding blue dye. I know who stole
195
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,640
Who? The dumbest criminal in Swellview.
196
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:43,840
Jeff? Jeff.
197
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,180
Yes. No, Jeff.
198
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:46,560
How do you know it was Jeff?
199
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:50,120
Because he's at my house right now, and
he just showed up with an expensive
200
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,120
Venetian hand.
201
00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:52,540
Why is Jeff at your house?
202
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,540
His brother is dating my sister.
203
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,560
Piper's dating Jeff's brother?
204
00:11:56,980 --> 00:11:58,960
Yes. Jeff is a Bilski.
205
00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:01,040
Piper's dating a Bilski? Yes.
206
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:05,510
Mitch Bilski is at my house, and so is
his mom, and so is his older brother,
207
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:06,710
Jeff. Yes.
208
00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,990
Yes. You keep him there, Henry. You keep
him there.
209
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,650
No, no, no, no. Dude, I don't want to
ruin this dinner party for my sister.
210
00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:16,610
Yeah? Well, you know who else is having
a dinner party right now? Don't say
211
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:17,830
justice. Justice.
212
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:20,730
I'm on my way to your house. No, dude,
look.
213
00:12:21,110 --> 00:12:23,570
We'll wait till the dinner's over, and
we'll go to Jeff's apartment together
214
00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:24,449
arrest him there.
215
00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:25,730
No. New plan.
216
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:29,870
Hey.
217
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,000
You know how to fix a mailbox?
218
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,180
Yeah.
219
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:43,180
And then I finally got the drop on him.
And that's when the detective said,
220
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,500
you've outsmarted me, Chad.
221
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,380
And that never happened.
222
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,660
And I was like, well, why not?
223
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:56,040
And then he was all like, because my
name is Sherlock Holmes.
224
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:02,990
That did not happen. Prove it!
225
00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:04,950
Sherlock Holmes isn't real.
226
00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:06,950
Then how'd I put my butt on his pillow?
227
00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:08,230
Ha! Filthy!
228
00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:11,250
Hey,
229
00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:12,770
what's up?
230
00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:17,630
I'm Henry's boss. I wasn't invited, so I
brought this potted plant.
231
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:22,930
Thank you. We actually have one just
like it on our porch.
232
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,390
Huh, weird.
233
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:25,650
Hey!
234
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,660
What's this handsome hunk of hog?
235
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:31,680
Hey, a little funny story about that.
Jeff actually brought it. Jeff's a good
236
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,100
guy. What are you doing here? I'll tell
you what I'm doing here. I'm doing my
237
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:37,360
job. Making sure that Jeff doesn't grab
that stolen ham and run off to Mexico.
238
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,820
Yeah, well, that's what I'm doing. Oh,
are you? Yeah. That's what you're doing.
239
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:42,580
Yeah. Because it seems to me like you're
getting a little too close with these
240
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:43,580
pills.
241
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,080
What are you talking about?
242
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,500
I'll tell you what I'm talking about.
243
00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:49,280
You let that one wear your clothes.
244
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,520
Your sister's over there feeding that
one fish lasagna.
245
00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:54,060
Your dad's over there rubbing elbows
with the mom.
246
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,110
See, this... Skin on your elbow is
called your weenie.
247
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:02,010
That word's funny because it sounds like
Venus. You know, the planet.
248
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:03,890
Oh, I know that planet.
249
00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:08,330
See? Yeah, look, man. I don't know what
you're talking about, but I can assure
250
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,570
you I'm not getting too close with the
bilsties, okay?
251
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:11,970
Yeah.
252
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,530
Attention! This is the Swellview Police.
253
00:14:15,590 --> 00:14:16,870
We got your house surrounded.
254
00:14:18,110 --> 00:14:19,170
You called the cops!
255
00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:20,690
No! You called the cops!
256
00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:44,560
you cooked all day. I know.
257
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:46,060
Here's meat.
258
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:50,320
Hey, I don't think that the cops are
here for the dinner party. Well, why are
259
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:51,320
they here?
260
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,780
We're here because we know there's
stolen goods inside.
261
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,960
You steal something, Mitchie? No.
262
00:14:57,820 --> 00:14:59,480
I haven't stolen anything in days.
263
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,080
You stole my clothes.
264
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:03,700
Yeah, but I'm not going to keep them.
265
00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:05,660
Well, except for maybe the underwear.
266
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:07,660
You're wearing my underwear?
267
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,280
Yeah, but I left a pair of mine for you,
so that's really just a spicy trade.
268
00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:16,010
Look, we all know they're here because
Jeff stole that expensive ham. I didn't
269
00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:16,909
steal anything.
270
00:15:16,910 --> 00:15:18,730
Jeff, you say that every time you steal
something.
271
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,830
I know, but this time I'm telling the
truth.
272
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,050
Oh, yeah, right.
273
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:26,490
You got five minutes to come out with
the stolen goods or we're coming in.
274
00:15:26,730 --> 00:15:27,349
All right.
275
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,770
Come on. That's it, Jeff. Let's go. No,
I didn't steal the ham. I swear. Look,
276
00:15:30,870 --> 00:15:31,509
look, look.
277
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:32,510
What's that, a receipt for ham?
278
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:35,650
No, it's a speech I wrote because I knew
you would all accuse me of stealing the
279
00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:37,730
ham. Look, if you have a receipt, you
can just show it to me.
280
00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:41,790
A single drop of water over time.
281
00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:44,510
can cut through a boulder. Oh, my God.
282
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:46,390
Where are you going with this one, bro?
283
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:52,310
I'll skip ahead. And that's when I
realized that the greatest nacho ball of
284
00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:54,230
was the one inside me.
285
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,390
Because I just ate it.
286
00:15:56,590 --> 00:16:01,210
And so... This is not a speech. It's
just a drawing of a sun with sunglasses
287
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,210
saying, stay cool.
288
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:07,270
Fine. You got me, okay? I was making it
up. What are you, my arch -rival
289
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,270
Sherlock Holmes?
290
00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,870
Dude, if you bought the ham, where's the
receipt?
291
00:16:11,150 --> 00:16:13,150
I don't have it, but even if I did, it
wouldn't matter.
292
00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:16,590
No one ever believes us Bilskis. They
think we're just a bunch of liars and
293
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,110
thieves and bullies and criminals.
294
00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:20,070
Yeah. And we are.
295
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:23,230
Except for you, Billy.
296
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:25,990
You're the best Bilski ever, Billy
Bilski.
297
00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:32,130
You got this great girlfriend with this
great family, and I just wanted to do
298
00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:35,070
something nice for my younger brother
because I think you're great, Billy.
299
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,910
So I bought you expensive ham.
300
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:40,970
Wow.
301
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:46,850
Man, that was... I...
302
00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:53,550
Is that your... Are you crying?
303
00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:08,280
We gotta go. Come on.
304
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:15,400
Come on. Oh, thanks.
305
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,660
How long was I crying?
306
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:17,839
Oh, like 20 seconds?
307
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:19,119
Yeah, okay.
308
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:23,680
Okay, new plan, though. All right? You
go upstairs, you pop a gumball, you
309
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,980
transform, you sneak outside, you tell
everybody that Jeff is innocent.
310
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,240
Got it. Okay.
311
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,100
What do you got there crying, Gosling?
312
00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:30,980
It's not my name.
313
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Is that gum?
314
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,020
No. Yes, it is. I have fish breath now.
I want some. Give me some. Hey, hey,
315
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:37,020
hey.
316
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,019
Oh, what?
317
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,700
God, I hate bill skates.
318
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:08,900
Maybe someday like next week or
something, but not today.
319
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:10,780
What are you saying?
320
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:12,780
We're going to eat the evidence.
321
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:16,460
You're right.
322
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:19,100
They can't arrest your brother if
there's no evidence.
323
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:34,710
Nothing about that.
324
00:19:34,810 --> 00:19:39,330
You don't? We wouldn't waste our
precious time looking for stolen ham.
325
00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:42,290
We're looking for illegal dolls.
326
00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:44,630
Oh, Jesus.
327
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,310
Follow me.
328
00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:50,390
What is going on?
329
00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:51,710
We got a tip.
330
00:19:51,870 --> 00:19:56,930
That someone's been selling stolen
Fresno Girl dolls on the Internet. See,
331
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:57,930
ain't legal.
332
00:19:58,450 --> 00:20:01,450
Listen, Billy, I might be going away for
a little while.
333
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,460
without a lawyer present, but... Oh, I
got a good lawyer.
334
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,660
They also work style in the nacho ball.
335
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:41,880
Sorry I doubted you.
336
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,820
You know, I never should have accused
you of stealing that ham.
337
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,520
It's all good, bro.
338
00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:48,780
I only got one bite of ham left.
339
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,380
Stuck it in my pants when the cops
showed up. Who wants the pants?
340
00:21:40,659 --> 00:21:42,480
I'm never going to eat ham again.
341
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,539
Me neither, man.
342
00:21:43,540 --> 00:21:45,140
Actually, ham sounds pretty good. I'm
glad you said that.
343
00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:50,780
Hey, why the light off?
344
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,620
Because we don't need them.
345
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,900
We have night vision now.
25722
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