Original subtitles

So the guy that owns the bowling alley, he comes out from the back and he said

to me, this guy says, he says, I got a hundred bucks here for anybody who's

willing to box this kangaroo.

You mean like put it in a box? Why would you put a kangaroo in a box? You should

not cage animals.

No, box like boxing, like put on boxing gloves and fight. You should not fight

animals. Well, I didn't because as soon as I put on my boxing gloves, my

cousin's car comes smashing through the wall.

So I dive out of the way before my cousin can run me over with his car, and

naturally, the kangaroo, he jumps straight up in the air, and he lands

top. You bet, you bet. It's just a bunch of people screaming. Now, the kangaroo

lands right on top of the clown.

Now, we don't know if the clown's okay at this point. We don't know if he's

dead. We don't know if he's alive.

Screams are getting louder. Then so am I. My aunt was an amateur lion tamer.

Everybody thought, hey, she can tame lions. She can probably tame tigers,

As it turns out, not the case at all.

Those people look scared. You want to know who is scared? My aunt in a circus

tent surrounded by tigers.

Now, my cousin comes out of the back, right? He's like, we got to go to

real quick. I think that guy's on fire.

Wait, we will call the fire department after my story.

Why is it black?

Where is Astoria?

I'll be with you in a second, pal. I'm telling a story right here.

I need a sword!

Ah, dude, that guy's breaking a bunch of stuff. Who cares? It's a fake sword.

Now, I don't know if the clown and my aunt were dating or not. I didn't ask

questions. Where's the newscast?

Hey, guy, you're interrupting my story.

There's a burger castle about a mile that way.

Your loyalty will be rewarded when I am king.

Uh, dude, I think we have a little bit of a situation here we need to deal

You want to talk about a situation?

Try driving up a mountain with your cousin, your aunt, a clown, a kangaroo.

hey! What, what, what? I'm trying to tell a story here!

Emergency call from Bill Evil.

Who? Bill Evil.

Chairman of Evil Science Corp. He opened the door to another dimension on

Halloween. I think we should take the call, dude.

Fine, we'll take it in the man cave.

But they brought the phone all the way up here with this hilariously long phone

card. I said we'll take it in the man cave!

All right, see you. That guy's still on fire.

Okay, Bill, let's make this fast.

You kind of caught me in the middle of a story, and I got a lot of people who

want to hear the end. I thought that was the end.

No, why would you think that's the end? Because you were talking... I just have

a question.

What? If a scientist, not me, but a totally different scientist...

were to open an interdimensional portal.

Oh, come on! What is wrong with you?

Why? And a scary -looking knight with a face tattoo jumped out and punched the

scientist right in the face, and then the scary -looking knight ran off into

Swellview. What's your question, Bill?

Would that scientist be in trouble?

Yes. Yeah, just like you were in trouble the last time you opened an

interdimensional portal.

Actually, I didn't get in trouble. You two just walked away covered in goo and

left me alone, unpunished, and free to open up as many portals as I want.

He's right. We did that.

Dang it, Bill. Why do you keep opening interdimensional doors?

It's just so much fun.

You never know who's going to jump out.

Well, starting now, you're not allowed to open any more portals, all right?

Yeah. Uh, what if it's my birthday?

Well, I mean, if it's your birthday. No, no, no.

Let's go.

Hmm? To where?

To, uh, stop the scary -looking night guy who Jasper just sent to Burger

What scary -looking night guy?

What? The... With the face tattoo that just came in the junket stuff?

Was this today?

You interrupted your story?

Oh, that guy! Oh, I hate that guy!

Let's go punch his interrupting face right off of his face!

Yeah, okay, okay, just take it down a notch. Jeez.

It all... just kind of happened i wanted an after -school job but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick now we blow bubbles and

fight crime feels good

got

up the tube

What's up?

Ray says we have to go to Evil Science Corp and take away their

transporter. Well, how are we supposed to do that?

Yeah, if we show up, they'll know we work for Captain Man.

Lots of Captain Man hired some... Pet police!

No! No!

No!

Those uniforms are embarrassing.

Oh, come on.

I think they're cute.

Why can't Henry and Ray do it? They have to go deal with that angry night guy

who trashed the store.

The one you sent to Burger Castle.

All right.

I get a reward if he becomes king.

It happened again!

Are you just doing this to get attention?

Yeah.

One Waldorf salad and one Junior Enchanted Happy Box.

Sorry, sweetie.

a king cupcake happy box toy?

I got the salad.

And I'm not your sweetie, Ned.

We're out of king cupcake.

Of course.

I've got three princess pizzas and no king cupcakes.

How am I supposed to collect all four if you never have any king cupcakes?

I don't know.

Well, thanks a lot, Ned.

What kind of magic door is this?

The door mocks me.

And it will pay!

I didn't know they had live shows at Burger Castle. That's fun!

I am Riker of

Astoria. I demand to be crowned king of this castle.

You got a bunch of crowns. You can just have one.

This is not a crown.

Are you going to order anything?

I order everyone to kneel and obey King Riker.

My lord.

Come on, Piper, join in.

Thanks, everybody.

I didn't know you guys were part of a show.

Uh, what show?

Piper, be quiet. Let them say their lines.

Who dares challenge King Riker?

Seriously, what is going on here?

I'll tell you what's going on, Kid Danger.

This guy is coming onto our turf.

Trying to take on the undefeated champions of the...

Actually, we got defeated last month. Remember, I lost my powers. You're going

down, brother.

I will destroy you.

try on these gloves I just invented.

They're made of silent leather. Listen.

Try them yourself.

I'm allergic to leather.

Oh. Well, then I don't know how to fill this awkward moment.

Oh, thank God.

Some people dressed like bunnies. This should be fun.

Hello. We're tacked bunnies.

Got it?

We're happy to help.

Captain Man hired us to pick up an interdimensional transporter.

Yes.

It's right here.

Those are bananas.

No, no. This is the interdimensional transporter.

I'm really going to miss it. That's why I'm so emotional right now.

And what's that then?

That is a wall. It's made from a product called sheet rock. No.

Next to the wall.

The machine that says interdimensional transporter?

That's, uh... Brenda, help me.

Just give them the machine, Bill.

Fine. You can take the interdimensional transporter.

I'll just open up one more dimensional door. All right, okay.

You can take it. But before you take it, please don't take it. All right.

Hey, where'd you get that king cupcake?

Ned said they were out.

Oh, it's not mine. Brandon, that's mine. Give it.

Forty -two.

Oof. Tough fade.

I'll pick it up, you weirdo. Let's go.

Come on.

Thank you for helping me.

You fools!

Is something supposed to happen?

Yes.

Usually smoke comes out of my hand, and then you bear the mark of Riker and I

can control your mind.

Is he controlling your mind, dude?

Nah, I'm just thinking about cheese fries.

No, I'm thinking about cheese fries.

Whoa.

I'm controlling your mind.

What's that?

The cheese fries in your mind are now covered in chili.

Oh, now they are.

You mock me. Yeah, we definitely mock you.

Then taste my dill!

He said, taste my dill.

Hey, what's your dill, pickle?

You'd be mad, too, if someone stole your kingdom.

Huh? What's up, big dog?

I am the rightful ruler of Astoria.

But my throne was taken away from me.

Aw, buddy!

I almost got it back.

But I was defeated by a squad of knights.

And a wizard banished me from my realm, and suddenly I was, well, here.

I get it.

He's not a bad guy. He's just scared.

Yeah, he's just a lost little puppy from another dimension.

Yeah, with a sword and sick face tattoos.

Come on, pal.

We'll get you home, little fella.

I'm bigger than you are.

Sure you are, little buddy.

You know, in a way, I'm kind of the king of this town. Oh, God.

Okay, I really want to ask what you're doing, but I don't want you to roll your

eyes and... Yeah,

like that.

Ray and Henry want to send that angry knight back to a land called Astoria. So

I'm scanning around different dimensions, listening for anyone who

Astoria. Hmm. Any luck?

Nah. Just a bunch of people wondering if you and Henry are dating.

What? We're not dating.

Oh, that's not what I hear.

Hey, Char.

We got another Task Bunny job.

Let's bounce!

No! We're not real Task Bunnies, and I hate this stupid outfit.

But I found this for real. Some lady's gonna pay us 200 bucks to paint her

nails. Let's bounce!

Hey,

man, just the tubes, okay? Don't be so scared.

I wasn't scared! That was, um...

Brave screaming.

Ah, dude, you were so scared I could hear you screaming the whole way down.

was brave screaming.

Yeah, no, I also scream, help me, when I'm being brave.

I would like to go home now and fight for my throne.

Yeah, where are we on that, Schwoz? I'm still working on it.

Oh, nice troll slave. How much do you want for it?

Walt, I'm not a troll.

Quiet down, troll.

Hey, hey, hey. What, what, what?

Let's give this dude some of our sweet weapons to take home with him so he can

get his kingdom back.

I love that, and I would like to do that right now.

You have weapons here?

So many weapons, yeah.

What, like, uh, swords and axes?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, swords!

Yeah, we got axes!

Okay, my child. Hey, uh, let me tell you about a little something called a

thermonuclear hand cannon.

After that, I'm going to tell you a hilarious story about me, my cousin, a

kangaroo. I found it. I found someone saying a story. I found someone saying a

story. I'm talking to myself.

If you say something, I'll forget the word story until you come here.

First, say the word stromboli.

Stromboli. Stromboli.

Stromboli. Oh, my God, where are we?

Welcome to the non -tech. Oh, it's an evil troll.

I am Schwarz.

It's an evil troll named Schwarz. Okay, why don't you just relax and let me

explain how good you have weapons.

Wait,

I'm pretty sure if you tickle trolls, they puke gold.

No, we don't. I mean...

I'll grab him. I'll get that treasure. I am great at tickling.

Anyway, you pull the pin, you throw it at your enemy.

There's a lot of splatter.

Hey! Whoa. Who are you?

What are you doing with my troll?

Ark. Riker.

Ciara. Schwoz.

Hi. And Captain Man as the hero.

Hang on a second. You know these guys?

Yes. They took my kingdom from me.

What? How dare you do that to this sweet man?

Sweet? He enslaved everyone in the kingdom.

Then he used my control to turn my own sister against me.

You're making it sound pretty bad, dude.

Oh, I am bad.

Ooh. Wait, what?

Wait, hold up. Bad like bad bat? Or bad like I'm a bad mamma jamma?

Whatever bad means evil.

What? You're evil?

Oh, yeah.

Wait, aren't you guys evil? No. We're good guys. Why would you think we're

Because you got this underground layer of tons of weapons and a troll slave?

I am not a troll!

Uh... I see what happened here.

Classic misunderstanding.

So... Gonna need those weapons back real quick.

Are you from Grip, dude?

Tell you what. Count of three. You're just going to let go and give those...

Get

ready to suffer.

How? You're going to finish telling me that boring story about your mom and

clown she was dating?

It was my aunt, and I'm not sure if they were dating.

What are you doing? We should help him. Nah, he insulted Captain Man's story.

Now it's personal.

So, uh, you and your boyfriend go into different dimensions a lot, or... Oh,

we're not, uh... He is not my boyfriend.

I don't know if they have music in your dimension, but I'm in a band.

You know your friend's getting beat up pretty bad, right?

You got me. I'm not in a band.

But I'm thinking about joining one.

As the star.

Hey, check it out.

I just stole the troll's wallet.

Can you stop stealing for one second?

I can't help it.

It's my thing.

Getting tired?

I'm just getting started.

Uh -oh.

He always says I'm just getting started right before he's about to collapse.

I gotta go.

Let us help.

Yeah, we're nice.

And training.

You're a thief, right?

Okay, you got me. I stole your wallet, too. What? No. Oh, well, get him that

wallet and never steal from me again.

I just told you. I got an idea.

Wait a minute.

Did you say time out?

I mean, I don't need one myself, but if you want to take five, I'll let you.

got all 10 61 no i know i really hate reicher plus it looks neat with one on

each finger hey reicher your story's boring what

i wasn't telling a story

Nice job, Henry.

Who's Henry?

So now I'm in the truck with the clown, my aunt, the kangaroo.

Your dimension is weird. Good luck with your band.

Hey, I never got your number.

Uh, four?

The number does not help me.

Still got it, though. Yeah.

So, I was in high school, yeah? Hey, you guys want to go upstairs and do

anything else? Absolutely.

I don't know if they were dating or not. I didn't ask questions.

Something was definitely going on.