Original subtitles

What'd you get for number one?

Number one. Number one.

Uh... What'd you get?

I got B.

Uh, I got B.

Yeah.

I got B.

Okay. And what'd you get for number two?

Number two... That was a tricky one, wasn't it?

Uh, what, uh... What'd you get?

Y. Exactly.

I got a why. Wait, why?

Yeah, why are you just copying my answers?

I'm not.

Why are you lying?

Okay, let's move on.

What did you get for number three?

P. Come on.

No, I'm serious. I got a P.

Hey,

Charlotte, will you help us put up this banner?

Oh, sure, but...

Could it wait till after I use the bathroom? Uh, no.

Right now.

Oh, all right.

Just grab the end of that yellow rope and pull.

Okie doke.

Hey, Henry, does this sorry banner look straight?

Uh, yeah, it looks good.

Henry!

Are you taking pics of my homework answers?

What?

selfies.

Okay, Charlotte, we'll take it from here.

Sure.

So, uh, who's sorry?

Oh, no, this is just a family thing we do.

Yeah, we put up the sorry banner whenever my dad interviews for a new

Oh. Why?

To make him feel better. When he doesn't get the job.

But you guys don't know whether or not he got the job.

Well, yeah, but see, it's like...

In life, there are winners and, you know.

Hey, I, uh, I finished my math homework.

So? So I'm ready to copy your English homework.

Well, I'm ready to visit your restroom.

Well, can I, uh, can I get your English homework before you go?

No! I have to pee!

So I can get it right after?

What's up is Frittle Chips.

You get some Frittle Chips. And you get some Frittle Chips. And you get some

Frittle Chips.

Okay, Dad, why are you throwing us Frittle Chips?

I'll answer that with a poem.

Ready?

Roses are red.

Doors have a knob.

This guy is happy because he just got a new car.

Swim trunk?

No! Job!

I got the job!

You got the job?

I can't believe it.

I guess we should cheer.

Great. Thank you all very much. I am a happy, happy daddy.

Okay, well, this seems like a family time, and I really need to go use the

bathroom, so... Oh, Charlotte, stop!

I'm going to be a project manager at the Frittle Factory.

There

is

no more Frittle Factory in Swellview. I know, because Captain Man and Kid Danger

blew it to bits.

Well, that's not exactly what happened.

To those guys.

Yeah, it is. It happened last year.

It was a cool Wednesday afternoon.

I was watching the news with my pants on. And they said that Captain Man and

Danger were visiting the Friddle Factory and got into an argument.

There's two sides to every story.

Hey, I thought I heard they were building the new fiddle factory in

They already did. That's where I'll be working.

Wait, wait, wait. You're going to be okay driving two hours to and from work

every day?

No!

This family is moving to Bordertown.

it for you daddy well we were until you started talking like a maniac i'm

not a maniac border town is a great place to live it's got houses and trees

a library and that

But then an indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick. Now we blow

bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

I can't move away.

I don't want to move away.

It's his dad, not him.

Well, then I'm going to give your dad a pizza my mind.

Did you just say pizza my mind?

Yeah, it's an expression.

Like, if my mind was a pizza to your dad. Okay, let's just go talk to Rick.

All right.

Henry, you can't move away from Swellview.

Matt, I don't want to.

You promised we'd grow old together.

What? What?

What's wrong with you? Oh.

All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jasper, when did your dad tell you this? Can I just push the button, please?

Yes, please. Before you hit the button, I'll let him...

Please

don't

move away.

Please get off my body.

and back here, but I am glad to see you because tonight is a special night. Is

that right there?

Wait, what? Why is tonight a special night?

Because I just bought that vacuum cleaner.

Uh, you and I have different definitions of the word special.

Ooh, is this the Tyson Ultra Sock? Yeah. Get away from it.

Hey, hey, hey, Henry, check this out, check this out.

You see these little breath mints? Uh, yeah, I do, but yes, who made these

mints?

Schwoz. Cool.

You want a mint? No, I got to tell you something. You want a mint? I got to

you something. I'm good. I don't want a mint. I said I don't want a mint. No one

wants a mint. No one wants a mint. Well, then I will just take this mint and

throw it at that vacuum cleaner.

What

was

that? What if I said yes and put that mint in my mouth?

I guess we'd be on our way. your dentist.

Jasper, clean that mess up.

With what?

With the vacuum.

Oh, I got something you can use.

Here you go. That ought to do it.

What is that?

This is a broom and dustpan travel kit.

Get to work.

Here you go.

Okay. I'm gonna go in line and buy some mirrors.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What now?

Look, we got a big problem. What?

Oh, do I look like that? What? No. Why?

Oh, good.

Get those mirrors then. Wait. Seriously, seriously. Look.

My dad.

He got a new job working at the Fertile Factory.

What? I thought they built the new Fertile Factory in Bordertown.

Yeah, that's where Henry's family is moving to.

Whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Kid, there is no way you're moving to Bordertown.

Yeah, I don't want to.

You're Kid Danger.

Yeah, I remember.

But what if I need you, huh? Like, what if there's a big emergency?

By the time you get here from Bordertown, everyone would already be

Except for me.

I'm Captain Man.

Yeah, I remember.

Anyway, you're not moving. Look, I'm only 16.

Yeah. If Henry's parents move to Border Town and say Henry's got to go with

them, then he'll have to move.

Okay, guys, what are we going to do?

Somebody could help me sweep.

No, I'm talking about my dad.

Okay, well, when does he start this new job?

Um, tomorrow, I think.

Yeah, he's going to meet Mr. Fertilman, sign some papers, and then that's it.

All right, okay.

Uh, pace, pace, pace.

Think, think, think.

And snap, buzz darts.

So, did you just say buzz darts?

Yeah. Hang on a sec.

This drawer's got everything.

Have a look at this new schwa's invention.

Buzz darts?

Buzz darts.

And, uh, how do buzz darts work?

I'll show you.

Hey, Henry.

You're only supposed to use your super fast reflexes to fight crime, not to

wreck my demonstrations.

Well, I'm sorry, but if I see a buzz dart flying at my face, I can't help but

move. Hey, forget it.

Hey, Jasper.

What's up?

Oh, I dropped my quarter over there. Would you get it for me, please?

Yeah, sure.

Did you hit me with a dart?

Uh, I'm not sure why.

Because when I bent over to get your quarter, I... My body feels weird.

That's what buzz darts do?

Yeah. They buzz through the air, and when they land, they don't cause any

permanent damage, but for about a half hour... hour, they impair your nervous

system, which turns you into... fat.

And, uh, how do those buzz darts help me not move to border town?

Simple.

Are you gonna tell us?

Sure.

We disguise ourselves as Friddle employees.

Then we wait for your dad to show up for his meeting with Friddlemen.

We blast your dad with a couple of buzz darts.

And then he's going to be all, he'll be like, hello, Mr. Frittleman.

Oh, what a beautiful factory you have here.

Then there's no chance Frittleman will hire him to work there.

Yes, that is perfect.

Yeah.

Who's smart?

Oh, my God.

I don't know who's smart.

left until this Frittle factory goes into full production.

Question. When does the new project manager start?

We have a right to know.

All right.

Settle down.

The new project manager starts later today, okay?

Right after he meets and is approved by Mr. Frittleman.

All right.

So we've all got a lot of work to do, right? So let's get to it.

All right.

You've got to work on that whistle.

Hey, you two.

I'm talking to you guys.

What's up?

How are you? We were just, you know, working.

How are you?

I don't recognize you guys.

Let me see your badges.

It's me right there.

Joey Gladstone. Danny Tanner.

Definitely a real badge. Not a fake badge. Whoa.

This doesn't look like professional lamination.

Those are explosive mints.

Yeah, yeah, dang it. I must have set them down. You can't just leave them

around. They're dangerous.

All right, Mom. I'll go get them.

Dude, dude, there's my dad. There's my dad. He's here.

Right here, as you can see. It's our main area of production.

Ah.

And what do you call this area?

Our... main area of production.

Ah, good.

That's exactly what I would have called it.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Now, I'll just pop him with a buzz dart.

He'll be wobbling around like a weirdo when he meets Friddleman.

Yeah.

I kind of feel bad about this.

You don't make him lose his job here?

Uh, no. Okay.

Okay, Mr. Hart.

Eat dirt.

You missed.

Yeah, because you were breathing so loud.

What? No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. I was trying to aim and you were all like...

Well, sorry to say, but yeah, you do. Okay. You know what? Let me shoot. Let

try. Let me try. Let me try. Go for it. After you. Go for it. After you. All

right.

Dude, dude. Look, look, look, look. Yes, Frittleman.

Excuse me, Mr. Frittleman. What? Yes.

Hi.

I just wanted to introduce you to one of our new project managers. Oh.

This is Jake Hart. Hi. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Frittleman. Oh, I don't

shake hands.

People's hands are disgusting.

Oh. Yes.

Especially mine.

What?

Uh, nothing. I just wanted to show you my new tie.

Your tie?

Yes, sir. Look.

It's made of metal. Ooh!

Do you see this? Do you see what's happening? Yes, I see. Now calm down,

you? You're making me nervous. Well, my dad's about to get the job. Yeah, just

wait. Let's see if Friddleman wants to hire your daddy after he gets a face

of buzz darts.

Wait, it's my sister.

Great, you hit Piper. Well, you jostled me. So?

Hello? What? How did you get here? I took three nasty buses with no Wi -Fi.

Now, please, you can't take this job. I'm sorry. Who's this girl? Oh, I

know. Uh... Does anyone know who this girl is?

Wait. Why isn't the buzz dart affecting her?

Hmm, wait for it.

Me too.

You have another dart in your pocket? In your right pocket? I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I got it. Put the dart in.

Anyway, if you'll just sign this contract right here, you'll be a

official project manager.

Oh, wow. This is fantastic.

Sorry, Dad, but it's time for you to...

You could have taken a shower before dinner.

No, I don't like to shower when I'm upset.

Well, at least we all get to stay and solve you.

Are you laughing?

You shouldn't be.