Original subtitles

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Charlotte.

Happy birthday to you.

Okay, okay, okay. You ready?

I don't know.

Ta -da!

Where am I? You're in Schwartz's...

This is Swaz's recreational vehicle.

Uh -huh.

And you guys are giving it to me for my birthday? No, no, no.

We're taking you somewhere.

Guess where you're going.

Uh... You want a hint? Ooh, a hint!

Sure, give me a hint, give me a hint!

Hint, hint, hint.

All right, okay.

Here's your hint.

I hope my birthday present is a new heart.

It's not a new heart.

But if you ever do need a new heart, I know a guy.

You're too close.

Come on, guys.

Tell me where we're going for my birthday.

Why tell you when we can show you?

Show her the tickets.

Huh?

The tickets. Share with the tickets.

But they're e -tickets. We bought them online.

Yeah, we don't have actual physical tickets.

No, we have e -tickets.

You didn't print them out?

Print them out?

Yeah, yeah, we print them out on paper. Print them out.

Yeah, nobody prints out tickets anymore. No, we use e -tickets.

Well, that makes me sick.

Oh, you guys are taking me too?

Okay, you know what?

Here's a good hint.

Remember that time? We're taking you to see Boo Man Group.

For real?

Yeah, for real.

I had a great hint.

Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited.

Yeah, we all are.

I'm excited, and I don't even know what Boo Man Group is.

Really?

The Boo Man Group are guys who dress up as ghosts, then they juggle.

Silently.

The show starts at 8, right?

Oh, yeah. It's already up to 7. We better hit it. Let's go. Let's go.

All right. Hey, hey, hey.

Luke, get in the back. I'm driving.

But this is my RV.

Oh, yeah.

Too bad. Get in the back.

I don't want to get into the back. All right. Well, I'm just going to sit right

here. There we go.

That feels right.

It's a long trip.

You going to get in the back?

You going to get in the back?

You going to get in the back?

It's a 40 -minute drive, so I figured we might want a snack on the way.

Ooh, what'd you bring?

I brought a big pot of brown soup.

You brought soup on a car trip?

Happy birthday.

This one is that. Who did that?

little sister.

Oh.

Gee, man.

Hey, sister.

What up with you?

Where are you? Uh, where am I? I am in a large vehicle with my boss and

Charlotte and Jasper.

Excuse me, what am I? Just a dog in the backseat?

Sit.

So,

uh, how did dad do at the dentist? Did they yank out his wisdom teeth?

Yeah. He's always all medicated.

Is that your mother?

No, it's not Mom.

I'm a project manager.

Look, Piper, I'm actually on the way to see Boo Man Group, so I can't really

talk. Dad swallowed my house key.

Who?

What? Dad did what?

What did your silly dad do now?

He was all confused, and he was fiddling with my keychain, and when I wasn't

looking, he swallowed my house.

What's going on? My dad had mouth surgery and then he swallowed my

house key.

Wait, wait, wait. Your dad is on pain medications and he's driving your car?

my sister's driving, okay?

When is she like 12?

Yeah, they sent her a license by mistake. I don't understand. Dude, this

been established.

Henry, how am I supposed to get inside the house?

Why don't you call mom?

Because mom is still in Palm Springs with her tennis instructor.

Please don't.

Look, Piper, I want to help you, but we're already on the road. Hey, there's

nacho ball about four miles from here.

So?

So, just tell Piper to meet us in 15 minutes at the nacho ball on Avenue

Why? You can give her your house key.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Hey, Piper, meet us in 15 minutes at the nacho ball on Avenue Street so I can

give you my house key.

All right, fine.

That is not what he was saying.

Why? Quit touching my visor. I can't see.

But there's someone in the mirror.

That's me.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after school job.

But then an indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick. Now we blow

bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

Okay, I gotta be honest.

This brown soup is really good.

It's really good, too. Excellent brown soup. So thick and brown.

Thanks. It's my mom's recipe. It won the Brown Medal at last year's soup

festival. Wow, really?

No.

But she wanted to win.

So bad.

Jasper's sad mom's brown soap all over my lap. Look at this. Found a rag.

Great. Here, you steer and I'll wipe. Are you sure?

Give it to me.

All right.

Uh -oh.

That's a man hotline.

All right.

Nobody worry.

We're not answering it. What? It's a hotline. You'll have to answer it.

No, come on. We spent a ton of money on these tickets to see Boo Man Group. We

are not working tonight.

The police can handle things for a few hours without help from Captain Man and

Kid Danger. Don't answer it. I'm answering it. Do not answer it. I'm

it. Hello? This is the Captain Man hotline. This is Kid Danger. What is

emergency?

Hi. Please help us.

Mm -hmm.

Can you be more specific?

Yeah. I'm the manager at Fred Lobster, and there's this freak here who's gone

crazy. He's got hostages.

Give me that.

Just give me the...

Okay, sir, why don't you just calm down and tell me why you're upset? I'm upset

because I'm at Fred Lobster, where tonight is supposed to be all -you -can

lobster night, and they ran out of lobsters.

I want lobster, and if I don't get all I can eat, everybody here is going to be

sorry.

Okay.

Oh.

Vintage Delta.

What are you going to do about the hostage situation at Fred Lobster?

I told you already. We're going to call the cops. Let the cops handle it. Call

the cops. All right. Okay. I'm on it. Let's go.

Hey, saddle up.

Yeah? Knock, knock.

Uh, who's there?

Spaz.

Spaz who?

Me, Spaz from park.

What? Happy birthday.

Swellview Police Department.

What can I help you with?

Hey, hi. This is Kid Danger. I need you to send... Just... kidding this is a

recording all police officers are either busy or they're at the boo man cruise

if you have an emergency please call the captain man hotline thank you and have

a nine one wonderful day wow that's all okay

all right let's suit up and let's head to fred lobster come on

no i say we ignore that call and i say we go see

The Boo Man Group! Now, who's with me?

Huh?

Look,

dude, there's hostages involved.

Oh, there's hostages involved!

with the disco lights.

Yeah.

I connected my horn to a disco bowel.

See, I had three disco bowels, so I took one of them and I... All right, Schwoz,

nobody wants to hear about your disco bowels.

Now, since it's Charlotte's birthday, I say we let Charlotte decide whether we

work tonight or go to some dumb Fred Lobster to free a bunch of

hostages that we don't even know personally.

Or, or, we go and fulfill Charlotte's birthday dream of seeing a performance

the Boo Man Group. I mean... I think we gotta go to Fred Lobster.

No!

Can I

say something?

It's only 7 .15. So?

So, if we go to Fred Lobster, you guys can stop the freak, rescue the hostages,

and then we should still be able to make it to the Boo Man Group, maybe a little

after 8. If that makes sense. Yeah, let's do it.

Fine.

But next year on Charlotte's birthday, we're doing what I want to do. Totally.

100%.

Okay.

Now, we're going to go in the Fred Lobster, grab the freak, free the

then get back here so we can get to the Boo Man Group.

Right. But while we're in there, can we grab some of those better cheddar

biscuits?

Oh, you better cheddar believe it.

Hey, hey, I hear someone's phone vibrating.

Oh, it's Piper.

You were supposed to meet her at nacho party. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know,

I forgot.

Dang it.

I know, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Hey, I was my sister, the A -lister.

to go. Where are you?

Um, that's a very good question, which Jasper will

answer for you right now.

Kid,

let's do this. Come on, I'm coming. What do you want me to tell her? I don't

know. Do you just pick something up or tell her that I have to go to the room?

What?

Oh, hey.

Hiya, Piper.

Why isn't Henry here with the house key?

Uh, cause Henry

Henry had to...

So

you got nervous and thought the best thing to do was drop the phone into the

soup.

It solved the problem.

Sort of. But now who's going to want to eat brown soup with a cell phone in it?

Nobody.

I'll have some.

I know, right?

Oh, great.

Now Piper's calling my phone.

So, answer it.

Nope, she's calling for you.

But, uh, um...

Jasper!

It's my birthday and you just dropped my phone into a gallon of brown soup! Are

you really that surprised?

Well,

wait.

So what happened in there?

There was a junior high girls soccer team in there.

And when they saw Kid Danger, one of them screamed, oh, my God, we love you,

Danger. And the next thing we knew, they were all over me.

The whole girls soccer team.

They chased us all the way to the car.

Well, they chased me. Dude, a lot of them were also yelling, Captain Man,

Captain Man. Well, I mean, kind of, but not really. Well, I mean, I don't like

it any more than you do.

Captain Man Hotline.

Hi. This is the manager from Fred Lobster.

Oh, yeah? Which Fred Lobster?

The one on Madison.

Oh, yeah? On Madison? Now you tell us.

All right.

Don't worry. We're on our way to your location right now.

No, no, no. Don't come here.

Why not?

Because that crazy freak, he let the hostages go. Then he took off in his

Oh, really? Oh, that's awesome.

Problem solved.

No, he's not. Because on his way out, the...

The Fred Lobster mascot.

The guy who wears a lobster suit and walks around the restaurant making

feel happy?

Yeah. One time, Lobby helped me find the bathroom when I really needed it.

Captain, man, please, you've got to find Lobby.

All right, exactly what kind of vehicle was the freak driving?

It was a truck, a green truck with four wheels. Green truck, four wheels, got

it.

What direction was he headed?

He was headed to me.

Yeah, definitely.

Oh, now Piper's calling me.

Oh, man, I forgot about Piper.

Give me the phone. Give me the phone. The truck is moving away. Excuse me. Can

you please hold?

No. Fantastic. Thank you.

Do not drop your phone in the brown suit. But I don't want to talk to her

now. Jasper, give me the phone.

I know, I know. It's just I'm really... Dad ate most of his shirt.

What? Why?

Because he's loopy on dental medication.

All right, look, I'm on my way to you right now, okay? Just stay where you...

Stay where you are.

No, I'm driving to you.

What? No, don't drive to me. I'll drive to you.

What? What?

You can't let your sister see you dressed as Kid Danger. I'll change my

You can't change back now. We've got to find the freak to kidnap Luke.

Lobby. Well, I have to give my sister a house key, okay? Okay, are you a

sidekick or are you just a regular kid?

Bingo, Ray. That's essential conflict that defines our relationship.

Henry,

where are you?

Um, I don't know. Where are you?

I'm on Madison, about three blocks before Street Boulevard.

Hey, that's actually really close to where we are right now.

Green's rough.

Dad, will you please just finish eating your shirt?

Lobby?

Oh my gosh, thank you!

For what? What did I do?

That maniac!

Driving the green truck!

He took me from the restaurant! You saved my life!

Piper, are you with Lobby?

Yeah, Lobby's right here. I just hit the truck he was in.

She saved my life!

I've still got to get Piper my house key.

Hey! Hey, there's an accident with a green truck up ahead.

See?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's my dad's car. All right, just pull over and I'll

get Piper the house key. No, no, wait. She'll see you dressed as Kid Danger.

Yeah, well, I don't know what to do. What are we going to do then?

Give me the keys.

Give me the keys. Give me the keys. What are you going to do?

Tell your sister to make Lobby move to his right.

Piper, can you, uh...

Lobby, move to the right a little.

All right, fine.

Lobby, will you move to your right?

For you, sure.