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00:00:05,550 --> 00:00:10,250
And now, Mary is going to begin her
seven -part series on bathroom safety.
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Mary? Thank you, Trent.
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00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:13,510
Yeah, sure.
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Have you ever found yourself in a
bathroom and forgotten who you are?
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00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:22,350
Well, that's because... Hang on. We have
breaking news.
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00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:28,490
Apparently, Captain Man and Kid Danger
are in Swellview Park right now battling
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two unnamed thugs.
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Try putting your foot in the toilet to
enhance the weight. Mary, please.
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00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:40,560
Okay, I'm told our brunette reporter,
Evelyn Hall, is arriving on scene.
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00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:41,900
Evelyn.
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00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,480
Thanks, Trent.
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I'm here in Swellview Park. In fact,
this is the place where I got engaged
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00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,440
month to a man.
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00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,120
Uh, okay.
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00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:56,880
But what's happening with Captain Man
and Kid Danger?
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Hey, kid!
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There's a news crew here!
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Be right back.
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What?
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00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,000
What are you doing? No, you can't! We
gotta fight these guys!
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Hey!
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Captain Man here. What's going on?
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That's me.
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Emily?
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It's Evelyn. Remember?
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Yep. You took me out on two dates and
then never called me again.
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Yes, yes, I remember.
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00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:35,390
Good. So, uh, what's going on back
there?
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Well, we got a report that there were
two thugs in the park vandalizing bushes
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and shrubs, you know, intimidating
squirrels. Is that an engagement ring?
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Oh, this?
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Sure is.
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Would you buy that for yourself?
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No, a man paid it to me. Hey, dude,
dude, I really need your help. Just a
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second. No, these guys are big, man.
They're big.
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Who asked you to marry him?
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My cameraman.
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Right there.
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What, this guy?
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Hey!
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So, you went from captain man to
cameraman.
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Oh, that's good.
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Shouldn't you be helping Kid Danger?
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Nah, he's fine.
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I'm not fine!
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You see, uh, Kid Danger's got
hypermotility, so, you know.
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I'm sorry, he has what?
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Hyper motility. He has that. Oh, and is
it serious?
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Yeah, really serious.
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Well, is hyper motility deadly?
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Uh, it can be.
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You know, I took her out on two dates.
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Yeah? What? Shut up. You shut up.
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Captain Mac, can you come here right
now, please?
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You're lucky he needs me.
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You heard it here first. Kid Danger has
hyper motility.
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How's it going?
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Do you have any water?
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Oh, yeah.
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and oh my God, I smell chicken wings.
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What? Wait, what's going on? What are
you guys watching?
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It's the news report about you.
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Yeah, and they're talking about...
According to Captain Man himself, Kid
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has been stricken with a serious rare
disease known as hypermotility.
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Wait, what disease? What are they
talking about disease?
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Here with us now in studio is rare
disease expert, Dr. Andrew Scurvey.
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Good afternoon, Trent.
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What can you tell us about this disease,
hypermotility?
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I've never heard of it.
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00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:04,750
Interesting. But I will say diseases in
general can cause big problems.
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I see. And in what ways do you feel that
hypermotility might affect kid danger?
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Well, it could lead to an increase or
decrease in his appetite, high or low
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blood pressure.
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It could cause weight gain.
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Or weight loss. Possibly.
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Okay, you know what? I'm turning this
off.
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How come you're so upset?
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Cunt. Now everyone in Swellview is going
to think I'm seriously sick.
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No, they won't. Nobody under 65 watches
the news anymore.
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Yeah, so check social media.
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Oh, yeah, social media is the real news.
Check it, check it, check it. Hey,
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Gabe.
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Let's see.
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Oh, dude, you have a wing sauce.
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Oh, uh, hand me a wet raguette.
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It's like right here.
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No, like, yeah, but like on the side.
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No, but you got it.
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You got it.
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Okay, trending topics.
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Number five, goodbye, Kid Danger.
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See, I knew it.
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What's number four say?
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Pray for Kid Danger.
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And three?
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Kid Danger R .I .P.
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Two?
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Remembering Kid Danger.
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Number one?
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Hypermotility kills.
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Dang it!
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No, don't touch me!
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What?
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Dude, I'm not actually thick. I don't
take risks.
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It all just kind of happened. I wanted
an after -school job, but then an
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indestructible superhero hired me to be
his sidekick.
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Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.
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Feels good.
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What are you doing?
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I'm trying to count rocks, which isn't
easy when you have a dumb brother going,
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paper, paper, paper, paper, paper.
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I'm sorry. She just really has your
voice down perfectly.
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No, she doesn't. Okay, why are you
standing here counting rocks?
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For the rock box dump.
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What is the rock box dump?
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The rock box dump.
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What people are doing to help raise
money for Kid Danger and increase
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of hypermotility. Oh, my God, listen to
me. Kid Danger isn't sick, okay?
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Oh, really?
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00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,480
Yeah. Have you seen the top 11 trending
topics? Yeah, I've seen 11.
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Look, guys, hypermotility is a
superpower, okay?
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Well, I mean, sure.
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I guess that's a positive way of looking
at it.
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Look, Piper.
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All that stuff about Kid Danger being
sick is fake news.
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If Kid Danger isn't sick, then why are
people doing the rock box dump to raise
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money to help him? No one's doing the
rock box dump.
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Oh, really?
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Here. Why don't you take a look at this?
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Hey, everybody. It's me, Oliver.
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And to help raise money for
hypermotility awareness, I'm going to
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rocks on my head.
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Oliver doesn't know anything, okay?
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Okay. Then let's take a look at one of
your teachers.
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My teacher? Look!
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Heyo! Sharona Shapin here, professor at
Swellview High School, and I'm going to
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take two buckets of rocks to show my
support for kid danger and the fight
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against hypermotility.
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Give it to me!
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00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:10,550
Show me a normal person who's doing the
rock box dump.
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Okay.
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How about this guy?
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Hey, guys. Now, I don't know Kid Danger
personally.
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But anyways, this is to help him get
well soon.
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Jesus Christ!
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I want my community to think I'm caring.
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What's working?
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I want to raise money for hypermotility,
so I set up a beg -you -to -fund -me
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page.
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See? For every dollar that people
donate, I'm going to add one rock to
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that I'm going to dump on my own head.
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What? And I'm already up to $794.
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Hyper! Don't touch me!
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Look, I think it's great that you want
to raise money to help fight diseases,
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00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,420
you know, but... Then why are you
whining?
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Because hypermotility isn't a disease.
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You're so dumb.
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00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:17,070
Well, I'm smart enough to know that if
you dump 794 rocks on your head, you're
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going to end up in the Swellview
Hospital.
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Ugh, no, I won't. Piper!
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I'm going to wear a hat!
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Wait! Piper!
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Piper! Piper!
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Piper!
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Dude,
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she really sounds like you.
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Whoa.
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Dude, let's go. Are you okay? What
happened?
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Chocolate covered grapes.
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This little guy tried to escape.
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00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:09,880
Well... No more room in me.
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00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,580
What is going on? What happened here?
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00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:15,300
People sent you food.
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00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:21,340
I mean, people sent Kid Danger all these
gift baskets full of food.
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00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,840
Dear Kid Danger, we hope these banana
nut muffins will give you comfort and
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in your final days.
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Yeah, everybody thinks you're doomed.
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Oh, dude, I can't believe you ate all
these baskets.
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Don't worry, kid.
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00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,080
I'm gonna puke.
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You can puke after we... Oh.
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00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:49,600
Oh,
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00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,580
come on, dude. Now there's a bee in
here.
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00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,300
Now there's a bee in the man cave.
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00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:56,500
Oh, my tummy hurts so bad.
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Get out of here, bee.
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I hate bees, dude.
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00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:05,740
Dude.
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The bee just... Dong my tongue.
190
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:14,620
Don't make me laugh.
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00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,080
All right.
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00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,160
I need you to help me do this live
stream.
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00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:23,200
Why? Because I need everyone to know
that I... Well, that Kid Danger isn't
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00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,020
All right, go set up the live stream.
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00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,280
All right, on it.
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00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:32,120
Dang it.
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00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,480
Told you not to make me laugh.
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00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:05,730
we've just received word that Captain
Man and Kid Danger are about to do a
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00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:09,070
stream to address Kid Danger's severe
case of hypermotility.
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00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:14,010
And I'm going to take this opportunity
to show what a good person I am by
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00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:16,010
dumping rock on my head.
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00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:18,910
Ah, Mary, I don't think that's such a
good idea.
203
00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:28,610
Okay, it seems the live stream is about
to begin, so let's take a look.
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00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:38,150
We're going to do this or what?
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00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:39,410
I'm not. Well,
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00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:43,270
we're live streaming right now, so.
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00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:44,730
What?
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00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:45,890
Right now?
209
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:48,490
I told you to give me a head up.
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00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:50,930
Heads up.
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00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:32,420
to danger.
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00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,160
Tongue swelling should go down in 15 to
30 minutes. All right, so it helps, huh?
213
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,160
I don't know what you just said, but
okay.
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00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:20,739
Hey, guys.
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00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:23,440
Hey, Charlotte. Hey, we're up, uh...
Hey, did you see our live stream?
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00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:24,740
Uh, yeah.
217
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,680
They're talking about it on the news
right now.
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00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:27,839
Oh, yeah? Okay.
219
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:28,840
Hey,
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00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:31,000
why are you talking like that?
221
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,380
B stung his tongue. Now it's numb.
222
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,140
That rhymed.
223
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,640
Oh, yeah.
224
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:45,820
Okay, now let's take a look at the next
clip.
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00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,120
Well,
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00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:54,340
now it seems his hypermotility is
affecting his tungual motion, which is
227
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:57,740
sounds like... Right.
228
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:03,580
And obviously, the only reason Kid
Danger is denying his illness is to be
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00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,860
in the face of his battle with certain
doom.
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00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:11,160
Sadly, I think his next live stream
might be a dead...
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00:15:15,050 --> 00:15:19,630
Heartwarming news. Local tween Piper
Hart, president of Captain Man's Fan
232
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:22,490
is planning the biggest rock box dump of
all.
233
00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:28,610
She's heading to Swellview Park where 1
,524 rocks will be dropped on her head.
234
00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:32,090
That's really sweet of your sister.
235
00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:35,810
Wait! We're going to Swellview Park in
good favor.
236
00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:41,170
Why? What? Because she's about to drop 1
,500 rocks on her head.
237
00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:42,850
That's right. Let's go.
238
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,560
All right.
239
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,640
Well, I can't bring my aloe.
240
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,780
Yes, I can bring my aloe.
241
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,460
I'm sorry.
242
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,160
I didn't get that.
243
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,740
Searching for cup of soup.
244
00:16:35,110 --> 00:16:38,010
makes 1 ,524 rock. Yeah, man.
245
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:42,050
Now, Jorge, go over there by those trees
and get us ready for the drop.
246
00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:43,270
Yeah, sure.
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00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:44,670
Attitude.
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00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:48,510
Piper! Hey, Piper.
249
00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:51,070
Hey, hang on. Yeah?
250
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,250
I'm thinking this isn't such a smart
idea.
251
00:16:53,650 --> 00:16:56,270
Well, if you think that, then it's gotta
be smart.
252
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:58,170
Thanks. Wait.
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00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:01,230
Hey, do you know how to use a forklift?
254
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:03,130
Uh, I know how to use a fork.
255
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,440
I got this.
256
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,220
Back it up.
257
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:51,539
It's okay.
258
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:54,620
I have an uncle who repairs picnic
tables.
259
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:49,050
Are these kids live streaming?
260
00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:50,310
Yeah. Good.
261
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:51,829
How's your tongue?
262
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,530
A little better.
263
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:55,230
Go talk to them.
264
00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:59,490
Okay, hey, listen to me.
265
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,870
I'm not sick, okay?
266
00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:04,770
Liar!
267
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,130
No, I'm telling the truth.
268
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:11,670
Look, Kid Danger, you don't have to
pretend for us. We know you're doomed.
269
00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:22,470
Hypermotility. Yeah, hypermotility isn't
a disease, okay? It's a superpower.
270
00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:27,670
Kid, why don't you go show them?
271
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:53,750
for motility.
272
00:19:53,810 --> 00:19:56,070
It makes me have super fast reflexes.
273
00:19:56,390 --> 00:20:00,790
But then, how come you were talking so
weird? And what about your limping?
274
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:04,550
That was just, I fell on a grape and I
twisted my ankle.
275
00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:07,930
And before that, he got tongue stung by
a bee.
276
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,530
Yeah, that tracks.
277
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:17,370
And by the way, it's very dangerous to
drop rocks on your head.
278
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,470
So no kid should ever do that ever.
279
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,700
Even if you see someone doing it on
television.
280
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,260
Or the internet.
281
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,020
You know what I'm saying?
282
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:34,000
Okay. Now you, boy, move this forklift
out of here. These things are dangerous.
283
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,480
You got it, Captain Man.
284
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:55,960
Captain Mad?
285
00:20:57,460 --> 00:20:59,360
Are you...
286
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:08,580
Hi.
287
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,020
Now, come on. We just need, like, a
cool, easy -to -remember name that
288
00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:18,200
says super -fast reflexes. Okay.
289
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:23,240
How about we just call it SFR?
290
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,560
How about you just...
291
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:34,020
What about, uh... Lightning Fightney.
No, that's good.
292
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,560
Are you serious?
293
00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:36,780
Hey,
294
00:21:38,620 --> 00:21:42,600
I know what we can call your super fast
reflexes. Say it. Hit me.
295
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,860
Super Fast Reflexes.
296
00:21:49,820 --> 00:21:51,240
It worked. Love it. Done.
21873
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