Original subtitles

And now, Mary is going to begin her seven -part series on bathroom safety.

Mary? Thank you, Trent.

Yeah, sure.

Have you ever found yourself in a bathroom and forgotten who you are?

Well, that's because... Hang on. We have breaking news.

Apparently, Captain Man and Kid Danger are in Swellview Park right now battling

two unnamed thugs.

Try putting your foot in the toilet to enhance the weight. Mary, please.

Okay, I'm told our brunette reporter, Evelyn Hall, is arriving on scene.

Evelyn.

Thanks, Trent.

I'm here in Swellview Park. In fact, this is the place where I got engaged

month to a man.

Uh, okay.

But what's happening with Captain Man and Kid Danger?

Hey, kid!

There's a news crew here!

Be right back.

What?

What are you doing? No, you can't! We gotta fight these guys!

Hey!

Captain Man here. What's going on?

That's me.

Emily?

It's Evelyn. Remember?

Yep. You took me out on two dates and then never called me again.

Yes, yes, I remember.

Good. So, uh, what's going on back there?

Well, we got a report that there were two thugs in the park vandalizing bushes

and shrubs, you know, intimidating squirrels. Is that an engagement ring?

Oh, this?

Sure is.

Would you buy that for yourself?

No, a man paid it to me. Hey, dude, dude, I really need your help. Just a

second. No, these guys are big, man. They're big.

Who asked you to marry him?

My cameraman.

Right there.

What, this guy?

Hey!

So, you went from captain man to cameraman.

Oh, that's good.

Shouldn't you be helping Kid Danger?

Nah, he's fine.

I'm not fine!

You see, uh, Kid Danger's got hypermotility, so, you know.

I'm sorry, he has what?

Hyper motility. He has that. Oh, and is it serious?

Yeah, really serious.

Well, is hyper motility deadly?

Uh, it can be.

You know, I took her out on two dates.

Yeah? What? Shut up. You shut up.

Captain Mac, can you come here right now, please?

You're lucky he needs me.

You heard it here first. Kid Danger has hyper motility.

How's it going?

Do you have any water?

Oh, yeah.

and oh my God, I smell chicken wings.

What? Wait, what's going on? What are you guys watching?

It's the news report about you.

Yeah, and they're talking about... According to Captain Man himself, Kid

has been stricken with a serious rare disease known as hypermotility.

Wait, what disease? What are they talking about disease?

Here with us now in studio is rare disease expert, Dr. Andrew Scurvey.

Good afternoon, Trent.

What can you tell us about this disease, hypermotility?

I've never heard of it.

Interesting. But I will say diseases in general can cause big problems.

I see. And in what ways do you feel that hypermotility might affect kid danger?

Well, it could lead to an increase or decrease in his appetite, high or low

blood pressure.

It could cause weight gain.

Or weight loss. Possibly.

Okay, you know what? I'm turning this off.

How come you're so upset?

Cunt. Now everyone in Swellview is going to think I'm seriously sick.

No, they won't. Nobody under 65 watches the news anymore.

Yeah, so check social media.

Oh, yeah, social media is the real news. Check it, check it, check it. Hey,

Gabe.

Let's see.

Oh, dude, you have a wing sauce.

Oh, uh, hand me a wet raguette.

It's like right here.

No, like, yeah, but like on the side.

No, but you got it.

You got it.

Okay, trending topics.

Number five, goodbye, Kid Danger.

See, I knew it.

What's number four say?

Pray for Kid Danger.

And three?

Kid Danger R .I .P.

Two?

Remembering Kid Danger.

Number one?

Hypermotility kills.

Dang it!

No, don't touch me!

What?

Dude, I'm not actually thick. I don't take risks.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after -school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to count rocks, which isn't easy when you have a dumb brother going,

paper, paper, paper, paper, paper.

I'm sorry. She just really has your voice down perfectly.

No, she doesn't. Okay, why are you standing here counting rocks?

For the rock box dump.

What is the rock box dump?

The rock box dump.

What people are doing to help raise money for Kid Danger and increase

of hypermotility. Oh, my God, listen to me. Kid Danger isn't sick, okay?

Oh, really?

Yeah. Have you seen the top 11 trending topics? Yeah, I've seen 11.

Look, guys, hypermotility is a superpower, okay?

Well, I mean, sure.

I guess that's a positive way of looking at it.

Look, Piper.

All that stuff about Kid Danger being sick is fake news.

If Kid Danger isn't sick, then why are people doing the rock box dump to raise

money to help him? No one's doing the rock box dump.

Oh, really?

Here. Why don't you take a look at this?

Hey, everybody. It's me, Oliver.

And to help raise money for hypermotility awareness, I'm going to

rocks on my head.

Oliver doesn't know anything, okay?

Okay. Then let's take a look at one of your teachers.

My teacher? Look!

Heyo! Sharona Shapin here, professor at Swellview High School, and I'm going to

take two buckets of rocks to show my support for kid danger and the fight

against hypermotility.

Give it to me!

Show me a normal person who's doing the rock box dump.

Okay.

How about this guy?

Hey, guys. Now, I don't know Kid Danger personally.

But anyways, this is to help him get well soon.

Jesus Christ!

I want my community to think I'm caring.

What's working?

I want to raise money for hypermotility, so I set up a beg -you -to -fund -me

page.

See? For every dollar that people donate, I'm going to add one rock to

that I'm going to dump on my own head.

What? And I'm already up to $794.

Hyper! Don't touch me!

Look, I think it's great that you want to raise money to help fight diseases,

you know, but... Then why are you whining?

Because hypermotility isn't a disease.

You're so dumb.

Well, I'm smart enough to know that if you dump 794 rocks on your head, you're

going to end up in the Swellview Hospital.

Ugh, no, I won't. Piper!

I'm going to wear a hat!

Wait! Piper!

Piper! Piper!

Piper!

Dude,

she really sounds like you.

Whoa.

Dude, let's go. Are you okay? What happened?

Chocolate covered grapes.

This little guy tried to escape.

Well... No more room in me.

What is going on? What happened here?

People sent you food.

I mean, people sent Kid Danger all these gift baskets full of food.

Dear Kid Danger, we hope these banana nut muffins will give you comfort and

in your final days.

Yeah, everybody thinks you're doomed.

Oh, dude, I can't believe you ate all these baskets.

Don't worry, kid.

I'm gonna puke.

You can puke after we... Oh.

Oh,

come on, dude. Now there's a bee in here.

Now there's a bee in the man cave.

Oh, my tummy hurts so bad.

Get out of here, bee.

I hate bees, dude.

Dude.

The bee just... Dong my tongue.

Don't make me laugh.

All right.

I need you to help me do this live stream.

Why? Because I need everyone to know that I... Well, that Kid Danger isn't

All right, go set up the live stream.

All right, on it.

Dang it.

Told you not to make me laugh.

we've just received word that Captain Man and Kid Danger are about to do a

stream to address Kid Danger's severe case of hypermotility.

And I'm going to take this opportunity to show what a good person I am by

dumping rock on my head.

Ah, Mary, I don't think that's such a good idea.

Okay, it seems the live stream is about to begin, so let's take a look.

We're going to do this or what?

I'm not. Well,

we're live streaming right now, so.

What?

Right now?

I told you to give me a head up.

Heads up.

to danger.

Tongue swelling should go down in 15 to 30 minutes. All right, so it helps, huh?

I don't know what you just said, but okay.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Charlotte. Hey, we're up, uh... Hey, did you see our live stream?

Uh, yeah.

They're talking about it on the news right now.

Oh, yeah? Okay.

Hey,

why are you talking like that?

B stung his tongue. Now it's numb.

That rhymed.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, now let's take a look at the next clip.

Well,

now it seems his hypermotility is affecting his tungual motion, which is

sounds like... Right.

And obviously, the only reason Kid Danger is denying his illness is to be

in the face of his battle with certain doom.

Sadly, I think his next live stream might be a dead...

Heartwarming news. Local tween Piper Hart, president of Captain Man's Fan

is planning the biggest rock box dump of all.

She's heading to Swellview Park where 1 ,524 rocks will be dropped on her head.

That's really sweet of your sister.

Wait! We're going to Swellview Park in good favor.

Why? What? Because she's about to drop 1 ,500 rocks on her head.

That's right. Let's go.

All right.

Well, I can't bring my aloe.

Yes, I can bring my aloe.

I'm sorry.

I didn't get that.

Searching for cup of soup.

makes 1 ,524 rock. Yeah, man.

Now, Jorge, go over there by those trees and get us ready for the drop.

Yeah, sure.

Attitude.

Piper! Hey, Piper.

Hey, hang on. Yeah?

I'm thinking this isn't such a smart idea.

Well, if you think that, then it's gotta be smart.

Thanks. Wait.

Hey, do you know how to use a forklift?

Uh, I know how to use a fork.

I got this.

Back it up.

It's okay.

I have an uncle who repairs picnic tables.

Are these kids live streaming?

Yeah. Good.

How's your tongue?

A little better.

Go talk to them.

Okay, hey, listen to me.

I'm not sick, okay?

Liar!

No, I'm telling the truth.

Look, Kid Danger, you don't have to pretend for us. We know you're doomed.

Hypermotility. Yeah, hypermotility isn't a disease, okay? It's a superpower.

Kid, why don't you go show them?

for motility.

It makes me have super fast reflexes.

But then, how come you were talking so weird? And what about your limping?

That was just, I fell on a grape and I twisted my ankle.

And before that, he got tongue stung by a bee.

Yeah, that tracks.

And by the way, it's very dangerous to drop rocks on your head.

So no kid should ever do that ever.

Even if you see someone doing it on television.

Or the internet.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay. Now you, boy, move this forklift out of here. These things are dangerous.

You got it, Captain Man.

Captain Mad?

Are you...

Hi.

Now, come on. We just need, like, a cool, easy -to -remember name that

says super -fast reflexes. Okay.

How about we just call it SFR?

How about you just...

What about, uh... Lightning Fightney. No, that's good.

Are you serious?

Hey,

I know what we can call your super fast reflexes. Say it. Hit me.

Super Fast Reflexes.

It worked. Love it. Done.