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THIS STORY BEGINS IN 2012
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FRANCIS FIGHTS TI-KONG,
A MARTIAL ARTS STAR WITH A GIANT PENIS
3
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THAT'S WHEN HE MEETS SONIA,
THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE
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10 YEARS LATER, IT'S A NEW ERA
AND TI-KONG IS BACK...
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An erotic film star in the 2000s,
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manly hero of violent movies,
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this is Ti-Kong's story.
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Ti-Kong started martial arts young.
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Scouted by a Brazilian director,
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he starred in action films
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based on his rare abilities.
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His huge member
has earned him many nicknames:
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THE THIRD LEG
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TOOL OF JADE
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Nobody knows
whether it's due to a birth defect
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00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,123
or a targeted workout plan.
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00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,043
It's scientifically possible.
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00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,253
But it all ended
after a stunt gone wrong.
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00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:11,965
Ti-Kong awakened
from an 8-year coma
20
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,301
and turned over a new leaf.
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His 2020 memoirs
were a sensation,
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and other
influential works followed.
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Ti-Kong is now
a world-famous influencer.
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No! This is a nightmare!
25
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Is this manhood today?
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10 years ago,
he was a violent film star
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and now he's an icon?
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I think our bed's too big.
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00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:58,053
- It doesn't shock you?
- Not at all.
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Did you fix my pants?
31
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Yes.
32
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But the seams are worn.
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Normal. We train hard.
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Shall we train too, Pookie?
35
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,191
Don't call me that.
36
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,819
6 months and 7 days
since we had sex!
37
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,737
I'm not keeping track
38
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,699
but that's approximately 182 days.
39
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A year of abstinence.
40
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,619
To reflect on our desires,
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00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371
refocus our energy...
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to listen to our bodies.
43
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I know but I won't last.
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See? Contract terminated.
45
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Just a random paper, but...
46
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See the links I sent?
47
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Yes...
48
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- Yeah, right.
- Did you see my app?
49
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,805
The stats and goals?
50
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,766
It converts intercourse
into miles per hour.
51
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We're doing 0.75 mph!
52
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You're too genital.
53
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"Genital" isn't a real word.
54
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,651
You should follow Ti-Kong's lead.
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00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,695
- What?
- Yeah.
56
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Do you hear yourself?
57
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He soul-searched,
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saw past his condition,
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and you talk about sex in mph.
60
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,206
It's hard for me too.
61
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,582
Sure it is.
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00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,376
It's an experiment
we agreed on together!
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00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,795
I'm trying to rekindle the flame.
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00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,093
To each their own flame.
It's simple.
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Maybe, but I still feel
useless and inadequate.
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You're not useless!
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You're a great dry cleaner.
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Nobody irons like you.
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You see...
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00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,693
that's what I need now:
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clean kimonos for Sexkido class.
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That's my jam.
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00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,410
Anyway...
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- Shower time.
- Can I come?
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- I'll soap you.
- No, thanks.
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Picture it:
it's late and the guy's pushy.
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He insists. We go for it.
78
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:06,515
Twist his arm.
A kick or two in the stomach.
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00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,309
He wants your tits?
He gets them.
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00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,477
Turn him round.
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00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,522
Light pressure.
He can't move, if he does...
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He's done.
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Sexkido
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channels your sexual energy
all over the body.
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If used well,
it'll make you stronger
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00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,160
and more resilient.
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Its power is immense.
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6 months of frustration,
and it's getting worse.
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00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,296
Watching her exercise
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00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,257
has gone from desire to obsession.
I'm fed up.
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Dude, you're too genital.
92
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Enough with that word!
It's meaningless.
93
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You're dick-centric.
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00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,515
Learn to sublimate.
Rise above it.
95
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You and your post-sex talk!
So sex is dead?
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00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,563
What's the alternative?
97
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:55,856
Dunno.
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00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,775
Be less genital...
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and more Zenithal.
100
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,447
That's what modern girls want.
101
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Zenithal!
102
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Less genital, maybe,
but you never go out.
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Took out the trash.
104
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,915
Did you call that girl?
105
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No.
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No, but actually...
107
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I've been thinking.
108
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I'm looking for that little spark.
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The delicate flicker of the candle.
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You're clueless.
111
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,428
We all are, that's the problem.
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New fabric softener?
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- You said it made lint.
- Never.
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- Yes, you did.
- You don't listen.
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What's with you today?
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You don't listen.
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You've worked nonstop for 2 years.
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It's oppressive.
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I have to stay at the dry cleaner.
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A seed...
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takes patience.
122
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I'm not your plant.
123
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Knock-knock, guys.
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Hey, Francis. Marcus.
125
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Hi, Michel.
126
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- How've you been?
- Great.
127
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Francis, we're booked.
128
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- Marcus!
- Hello.
129
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We can look.
130
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I had an oil-change disaster.
Look.
131
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That's blood.
132
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:06,969
It's oil.
133
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- Blood.
- Smell it.
134
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,722
- Smells like blood.
- It's oil!
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It really soaked in.
136
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If only you knew. Look at this.
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Only you can help.
138
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We're swamped...
139
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,234
But I can write a prescription.
140
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No!
141
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OK.
142
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:26,989
Fuck me!
143
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,741
Hey, chill.
What's your deal?
144
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One compliment,
and you kiss his ass.
145
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He's a regular. Just chill.
146
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His stuff has clogged 2 machines!
147
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You didn't check the pockets.
148
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- It's blood.
- Stop tripping.
149
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,798
Sorry, Michel.
150
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,175
Look...
151
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,551
It's real simple...
152
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2 short cycles.
153
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,140
One at 90°F to protect the fibers.
154
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90°F.
155
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Spin at 600, max.
156
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Understood.
157
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Let sit 1 hour.
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One hour.
159
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,982
Then run a delicate at low temp.
160
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- OK?
- Right, low temp.
161
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,570
It'll be fine.
162
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You're a poet.
163
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Get lost!
164
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- Marcus?
- Sorry.
165
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Spare me this guy
with his fake oil.
166
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,455
Next time I'll call first.
167
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It's blood!
168
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Have you thought about my offer?
169
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Yes, but...
170
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Marcus is my partner.
171
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,132
So? You can be partners
with Marcus and Michel.
172
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- I know but...
- Part time.
173
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You can go back and forth.
174
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We've been over this.
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50 greasy mechanics.
176
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See these stains?
177
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It's this times 100.
178
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Yeah, because here...
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00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,357
it's a little cramped.
180
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,484
I have a washbasin from 1800.
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The best year.
182
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You bet.
183
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- Solid granite.
- Right.
184
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Picture it.
185
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,327
We could beat the laundry together.
186
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,622
- Come on.
- I'm sorry but...
187
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:01,083
That's nice, but really...
188
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,046
Think about it. OK?
189
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,381
Here's my card.
190
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:13,804
I know what you did.
191
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,603
I know who you really are.
192
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,856
Anyway...
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Bye, Marcus.
194
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:28,151
Yeah, bye.
195
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,071
It's blood!
196
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,156
Bye-bye.
197
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,158
What a sketchball.
198
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,119
Hey! Give the card back.
199
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,371
Don't waste your talent.
200
00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,915
Enough about my talent!
201
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:45,711
I wash and iron clothes.
It's pathetic, actually.
202
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,797
We have no ambition.
Look at this junk.
203
00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:50,132
It's a disgrace.
204
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,884
How old are our machines?
205
00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:53,594
We're losers.
206
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,724
We're at the end of our cycle.
207
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,737
STUBBORN STAIN?
ASK FOR THE MOON
208
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:20,454
- A man at the dojo doesn't shock you?
- Ti-Kong is different.
209
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:22,956
Well...
210
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,750
He's still a man.
211
00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,169
Put your phones away, girls.
212
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,505
Sorry. I know he's very charismatic.
213
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,259
The reason I invited Ti-Kong here today...
214
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:40,265
is for the quality of his technique,
but also...
215
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,642
for what it represents.
216
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,477
Stop it!
217
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,271
Huge penis, you say.
218
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:49,066
But remember, a dick of any size
219
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:51,902
weighs this much
in the collective unconscious.
220
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,946
This is its place in the world.
221
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,533
That's why we're at the dojo,
222
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,576
to learn self-defense, obviously,
223
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,079
but also to subvert symbols.
224
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:03,830
It's important.
225
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,044
It's soft. Velvet?
226
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,213
Shall we show them?
227
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,969
Sonia...
228
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:21,014
Sorry about yesterday.
It was just hormones, now I'm better.
229
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:25,561
I've been thinking.
I propose 2 more months...
230
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,105
Non-renewable.
231
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,320
Sonia, sorry about yesterday.
232
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,197
Block the phallic energy.
233
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,199
Topple the symbol.
234
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,326
Now there's salami on the tatami.
235
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:42,870
You know the ground moves.
236
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,663
I can't cockblock my date.
237
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:47,749
No way...
238
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:48,917
Francis?
239
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,671
- What're you doing here?
- Seriously?
240
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:54,464
What am I doing here?
241
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:56,967
Ti-Kong is a pro.
242
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:59,052
How long's this been going on?
243
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,015
Liars! Size doesn't matter?
It clearly does.
244
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,559
He's uneasy.
245
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:07,477
Stay, it's fine.
246
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,022
Is this why we're abstinent?
247
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,608
Look, now isn't the time.
248
00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:14,985
Abstinence, fine.
But not this!
249
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,863
Shall I tell them
about the two of you?
250
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:20,240
- There's nothing to tell.
- Oh really?
251
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,034
There's nothing to tell.
252
00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:23,869
They called him Chinese Guillotine!
253
00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:26,038
Uncut erotic fight movies.
254
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,040
My video store carried them.
255
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,253
Shut the fuck up!
256
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:37,257
You were busting jaws all day long!
257
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,926
And Sonia you dreamed
258
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,761
of getting dickslapped by Ti-Kong.
259
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,596
But I showed up
260
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,849
and dickslapped him
before he could dickslap you.
261
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,684
What's "dickslap"?
262
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,938
May I? It's this...
263
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,398
To slap with the penis.
264
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,442
Shitty idea for a movie!
265
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,860
People find that funny?
266
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,820
Easy. It's very hard to do.
267
00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:00,948
It takes mad skills.
268
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,866
Is it true?
269
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:03,992
Shoot!
270
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,911
They didn't know?
271
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,288
You have no proof.
272
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,124
I'll prove it right now.
Hey, you!
273
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,376
Wait!
274
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,670
I dickslapped you once,
I can do it again.
275
00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:16,380
It'll be educational.
276
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:18,590
Take off your underwear.
277
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,676
- Take notes.
- Put your pants on!
278
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,011
Put them back on!
279
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,555
- Shall I do it?
- No.
280
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,932
I'll dickprint your left cheek.
281
00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:29,393
- I'll handprint your ass.
- Cut it out!
282
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,936
I'll dickprint everyone!
283
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,229
- What?
- Calm down.
284
00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,313
This is bad.
285
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,274
- What'd you say?
- You heard me.
286
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,276
You're all undersexed losers!
287
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,695
I'm leaving you, Francis.
288
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:43,407
What?
289
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,118
It's over.
290
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,911
Finished.
291
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,831
- You sure?
- Yes, I can't go on.
292
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,833
We've grown apart.
293
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,421
I'm the one leaving.
294
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,866
That dickslap never happened.
295
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,827
You're ridiculous.
You're lying to yourself.
296
00:14:58,190 --> 00:14:59,274
Hello, Francis?
297
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,526
Police, ma'am.
298
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,945
You the owner of White Crane Dojo?
299
00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:04,530
Yes.
300
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,202
Calm down. What happened exactly?
301
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,247
I came to get the kimonos.
302
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:18,043
I didn't understand at first.
303
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,171
Then I saw the blood.
304
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:25,467
How did you know the victim?
305
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,972
He taught here yesterday.
I left him the keys after class.
306
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,224
He liked to train in private.
307
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:33,976
OK.
308
00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:36,562
I've never seen anything like this.
309
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,480
What happened, exactly?
310
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,774
The tip was severed. Clean cut.
311
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,695
Less than castration,
more than circumcision.
312
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:45,863
There's no word for it.
313
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,698
My team's looking for a term,
314
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,491
we'll keep you posted.
315
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,661
"Dickapitated."
316
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,373
Dick as in Richard.
317
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,879
- Did you find the tip?
- Just up the street.
318
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:03,672
Hollowed out.
319
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:05,465
Like a split watermelon.
320
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:07,426
Horrible!
321
00:16:07,593 --> 00:16:09,344
- Sorry?
- Yes, it's horrible.
322
00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:10,762
Just terrible.
323
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:14,808
A dog dragged it 200 yards,
324
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,686
wire-haired dachshund
left it in the street.
325
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:20,314
Figured it was a hedgehog
I ran over.
326
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:22,191
That's no hedgehog.
327
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,985
Intern, ready for the reenactment?
328
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:26,695
Right...
329
00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,907
The fight probably began
in the lockers,
330
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,159
before moving in here.
331
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:33,076
Good, Intern.
332
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:34,912
C'mon guys!
333
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,623
This is the second combat,
334
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,249
which led to dickapitation.
335
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:40,584
Focus, guys.
336
00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:42,961
All yours, Intern.
337
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,258
This is where it gets tricky.
338
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,968
At 10:34 pm,
339
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,763
the attackers start playing dodgeball.
340
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,473
Though the impact pattern
341
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,517
is more reminiscent of tennis.
342
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,227
Or "pennis" in this case.
343
00:16:58,477 --> 00:16:59,811
Very similar rules.
344
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:06,944
Yes, hello?
345
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,111
Yes.
346
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,405
No.
347
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:16,744
We did an MRI
to get our money's worth,
348
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,455
and found nerve endings
349
00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:20,999
all down the shaft.
350
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,711
After further analysis,
we found that the glans
351
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:25,963
contained a brain.
352
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,758
A brain in the dick?
353
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:31,760
In the glans.
354
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:34,847
Intern, help with the penis.
355
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,932
Of course.
356
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,268
The work of a Frankenstein.
357
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,312
Unconventional, but very pro.
358
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,857
If it had legs, it'd get an ID.
359
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:48,652
- Know who did this?
- No.
360
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,612
But we know whose brain it is.
361
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,866
DNA analysis traces it to the 70s.
362
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,909
The United States. Brian Sweeper.
363
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:59,538
A real slugger, if you catch my drift.
364
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:01,290
No, I don't.
365
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,959
- A slugger. Homeruns.
- Baseball.
366
00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:05,711
The bat.
367
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:08,130
- He'd hit...
- Anyway, what else?
368
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:11,341
Brian had a low center of gravity.
369
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,428
He held his bat at crotch level
and swung with his pelvis.
370
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,638
Wait, you're saying
371
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:21,518
that Ti-Kong had a baseball star's brain
in his penis?
372
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:22,561
In his glans.
373
00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:25,189
And his assailants
374
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:28,317
removed the brain
after dickapitating him?
375
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,611
"Organ" trafficking.
376
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,447
How'd they... the brain?
377
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:35,365
Like straining noodles.
378
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,995
That's a lot of information.
379
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:44,124
This morning when I called,
you mentioned a certain...
380
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,292
Francis.
381
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:47,169
Stop right there!
382
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:50,005
Francis doesn't even know
the rules of dodgeball.
383
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,299
He's not involved in this.
384
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,426
Right, Sonia?
385
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,347
Nothing at all...
386
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:04,603
Alright guys, let's go!
387
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,983
Police! We're investigating
the dickapitation of Ti-Kong!
388
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,193
Chief!
389
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,945
It's from the dry cleaner!
390
00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:21,828
Start filming, Intern.
391
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,122
I don't wanna get slapped
with misconduct.
392
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,832
I don't have a camera.
393
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,961
Then draw!
Bring me that sicko.
394
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,173
I didn't dickapitate anyone!
395
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:35,926
Don't move!
396
00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:37,302
I'm innocent!
397
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:39,763
We open at 10!
398
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:40,848
Stand firm!
399
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,307
They're gonna hurt him.
400
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:45,477
- They'll get him good.
- You call this an arrest?
401
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,437
I'm afraid of a stray bullet!
402
00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:49,982
He didn't do it.
403
00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:52,276
Why'd you invite Ti-Kong?
404
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:55,237
You gonna start too?
It was 10 years ago.
405
00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:58,866
Francis is already tense.
So you betray him and turn him in?
406
00:19:59,032 --> 00:19:59,867
I did not!
407
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:01,910
He's been trying.
408
00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:03,370
And I haven't been?
409
00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:06,999
He brought up the dickslap again.
It's ridiculous.
410
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,667
But it's true.
411
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:12,171
Were you there?
No, you weren't.
412
00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:16,967
Did you call him after your fight?
413
00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:19,761
I dumped him, Marcus.
414
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,639
In front of everybody?
415
00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,143
Yes. Some people were there.
416
00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:34,276
You don't air dirty laundry in public.
417
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,361
- C'mon!
- Let go of me!
418
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,364
Approach and get ironed!
419
00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:45,579
I didn't kill anyone!
420
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,751
Francis couldn't have done this.
421
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:53,879
Sure, he's acting weird,
but it's just insecurity.
422
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:57,382
Yesterday he washed delicates
on the cotton setting.
423
00:20:57,549 --> 00:21:00,552
He has a rash,
won't take his magnesium.
424
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,682
You guys spend
too much time together.
425
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:07,768
He can be difficult but...
426
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:09,478
with some special care,
427
00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:12,189
you realize
he's a diamond in the rough.
428
00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:15,317
Your relationship works better than ours.
429
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,486
Nobody in the dryer.
430
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:19,446
He went out the back.
431
00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:21,949
I have to tell them
they got it all wrong.
432
00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,201
Wait!
433
00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:25,994
She's escaping!
434
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,164
There you go.
435
00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:33,252
Look at these undies,
how he respects the fabric!
436
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,503
He's innocent!
437
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,697
How could you suspect him?
438
00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:03,031
Calm down, li'l lady.
439
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:06,743
We'll nab him in 48 hours,
dead or alive.
440
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,453
Alive, and I'm not your li'l lady.
441
00:22:09,246 --> 00:22:12,207
I meant no disrespect,
but you are short.
442
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:14,668
Thanks.
443
00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:22,176
Pretty good.
444
00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:25,262
Meanwhile, put out an APB.
445
00:22:25,429 --> 00:22:28,015
Lest he takes scissors
to a nudist beach.
446
00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:31,351
He hates nudism.
And it wasn't him.
447
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,103
Barring new evidence,
448
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,897
he's our top suspect.
449
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,983
The first 24 hours are crucial.
450
00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:41,028
With a valid metrocard,
he's in the burbs by now.
451
00:22:41,612 --> 00:22:43,572
You're wrong.
It's really not him.
452
00:22:43,739 --> 00:22:47,618
I'll say it again.
For now, he's suspect number...
453
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,538
Meanwhile, stay in touch.
454
00:22:51,914 --> 00:22:54,374
OK? If ever he contacts you...
455
00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,585
contact us.
Got my contact?
456
00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,338
I'll contact you. Speak soon.
457
00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:05,385
Those idiots wrecked the place.
458
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:06,887
They have no respect.
459
00:23:07,054 --> 00:23:08,680
Francis is on the lam.
460
00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:09,640
Poor guy.
461
00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,476
We have to find the real culprit.
462
00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:14,770
If he misses his snack, he'll faint.
463
00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:16,396
We research Ti-Kong...
464
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:17,731
He forgot his phone!
465
00:23:17,898 --> 00:23:19,066
...and find his enemies.
466
00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:20,567
He'll get lost.
467
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,568
Where do we start?
468
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,573
Follow me.
469
00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:36,166
TI-KONG'S MURDERER ON THE RUN
470
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,742
There must be a clue here.
471
00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,536
You kept everything!
472
00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:14,288
Those were happy times.
473
00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:17,958
And Francis' fights?
474
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:20,085
Supposedly, there's a bootleg.
475
00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:23,505
Ti-Kong.
476
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,012
GODZILLA VS. TI-KONG
477
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,307
Feng Shui...
478
00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:36,768
Stay strong, Sonia.
Block Ti-Kong!
479
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,228
Close on her eyes.
480
00:24:38,937 --> 00:24:41,023
I want to see the fear
481
00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:42,608
on her sweaty face.
482
00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:44,693
No fooling around! Back up.
483
00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:46,361
Sonia, you're a grasshopper.
484
00:24:47,446 --> 00:24:49,239
Scratch him with your vag.
485
00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:52,659
What happened to that scammer?
486
00:25:14,473 --> 00:25:16,892
The end sucks.
No worries, we'll cut.
487
00:25:17,059 --> 00:25:18,477
Show me, baby.
488
00:25:19,603 --> 00:25:20,354
No.
489
00:25:20,521 --> 00:25:21,480
Crap.
490
00:25:21,647 --> 00:25:22,314
Lame.
491
00:25:22,481 --> 00:25:24,358
Yes, great!
Post it to TokTok.
492
00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:26,318
Hashtag boneless.
493
00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:29,488
I want 20k followers by noon.
494
00:25:30,531 --> 00:25:32,741
That is a surprise.
495
00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:34,493
We won't stay long.
496
00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:36,954
Didn't you bring Francis?
497
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,455
Whatcha been chopping?
498
00:25:38,622 --> 00:25:40,082
- Fish.
- Penis fish?
499
00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:41,333
- Marcus.
- It's real.
500
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,709
Seen Ti-Kong recently?
501
00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:46,630
I heard your video store went bust.
502
00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:48,006
Don't worry.
503
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,633
We bounced back.
504
00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,218
Kept the trampoline?
505
00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:52,928
We donated it.
506
00:25:53,971 --> 00:25:56,223
- A pity.
- Answer the question.
507
00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:58,350
Seen Ti-Kong?
508
00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:01,770
- Francis is in trouble.
- I don't care!
509
00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:04,398
And Ti-Kong, who knows!
510
00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:07,442
He could be handing out flyers
for the restaurant.
511
00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:09,820
- Cutting up fish.
- He's dead.
512
00:26:12,698 --> 00:26:14,616
He was dickapitated.
513
00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:16,159
His head?
514
00:26:16,869 --> 00:26:17,911
The other head.
515
00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:20,330
His intestines!
516
00:26:20,998 --> 00:26:22,040
The other intestines.
517
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,131
Know his dick had a brain?
518
00:26:30,299 --> 00:26:32,634
- I knew it was special.
- Is that all?
519
00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:34,469
- That's all.
- Liar.
520
00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:35,304
You're lying.
521
00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:36,847
- What?
- Liar.
522
00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:38,390
He's definitely lying.
523
00:26:39,308 --> 00:26:42,019
Baby! Do I know something?
524
00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:44,855
- OK, then.
- He's clearly lying.
525
00:26:45,397 --> 00:26:48,108
How about a livestream
for his followers?
526
00:26:48,275 --> 00:26:50,235
You wouldn't dare!
527
00:26:50,402 --> 00:26:52,779
Don't you ruin my business!
528
00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,823
Stay cool...
529
00:26:55,908 --> 00:26:58,118
They say I killed Ti-Kong.
It's insane.
530
00:26:58,285 --> 00:27:00,537
Sonia snitched on me,
but I'm innocent.
531
00:27:00,704 --> 00:27:02,122
She humiliated me in public,
532
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:04,625
betrayed me in public,
dumped me in public!
533
00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,376
That's a large public.
534
00:27:06,752 --> 00:27:09,087
I just wanted a little
physical contact.
535
00:27:09,421 --> 00:27:11,006
Politely, too.
536
00:27:11,173 --> 00:27:13,884
They say sex is
the cement of a relationship.
537
00:27:14,051 --> 00:27:15,302
It's the foundation.
538
00:27:15,469 --> 00:27:18,514
You don't build lasting love
with pine and glue.
539
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,141
Do they say:
"Sex is the pine of relationships"?
540
00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:22,559
At Christmas, maybe.
541
00:27:24,478 --> 00:27:26,772
Meanwhile,
she's training with Ti-Kong.
542
00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:30,234
Seriously?
They're all the same, buddy.
543
00:27:31,026 --> 00:27:33,612
- She says it's professional.
- I doubt it.
544
00:27:34,613 --> 00:27:36,365
After all I've done for her?
545
00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:38,951
We're there for them
but they never are.
546
00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,369
Is anyone there?
547
00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:43,080
- And here?
- No.
548
00:27:43,247 --> 00:27:44,790
Feel around.
549
00:27:45,457 --> 00:27:47,543
- Who's there?
- Nobody.
550
00:27:48,043 --> 00:27:49,837
Nobody. Who's here?
551
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,755
They're not here.
552
00:27:52,548 --> 00:27:54,091
Hey, where are you?
553
00:27:54,258 --> 00:27:56,301
They're not here.
554
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,929
From now on,
555
00:27:59,972 --> 00:28:01,473
there are two of us.
556
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,225
You'll never be alone again.
557
00:28:06,103 --> 00:28:09,982
It was a big mistake.
She's totally out of my league.
558
00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:11,817
She's not that pretty.
559
00:28:12,025 --> 00:28:13,026
A year of celibacy!
560
00:28:13,193 --> 00:28:14,361
It's torture.
561
00:28:14,653 --> 00:28:17,406
- Might as well cut off my dick.
- Sorry?
562
00:28:18,532 --> 00:28:20,075
Can you repeat that?
563
00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:22,619
Cut off my dick?
564
00:28:22,786 --> 00:28:24,538
Do you hear yourself?
565
00:28:25,163 --> 00:28:26,915
Are you bonkers?
566
00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,750
Don't say that, OK?
567
00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:30,794
Don't cut the branch
you're sitting on.
568
00:28:33,797 --> 00:28:36,008
Or you fall.
If you fall, you get hurt.
569
00:28:36,175 --> 00:28:37,968
And I won't always be there.
570
00:28:38,343 --> 00:28:41,430
Sorry. It's just an expression.
571
00:28:44,850 --> 00:28:47,978
I'm sorry.
I don't like seeing you this way.
572
00:28:48,604 --> 00:28:49,813
Plus, we're the same.
573
00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:52,149
I can't repair things.
574
00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:54,109
I can't do laundry.
575
00:28:55,277 --> 00:28:57,821
The cops are after me.
What should I do?
576
00:28:57,988 --> 00:28:59,489
You know...
577
00:28:59,656 --> 00:29:02,409
I've got a hiding place
till it blows over.
578
00:29:03,452 --> 00:29:06,830
- I feel weird.
- No, you can do the laundry.
579
00:29:07,372 --> 00:29:09,041
C'mon, say yes?
580
00:29:09,208 --> 00:29:10,167
"Yes."
581
00:29:12,336 --> 00:29:13,545
Go on...
582
00:29:18,050 --> 00:29:20,093
It fell. What a bummer!
583
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:21,762
- No big deal.
- Wait!
584
00:29:21,929 --> 00:29:24,181
Just return it to the plate.
585
00:29:24,348 --> 00:29:25,974
You're losing followers!
586
00:29:28,435 --> 00:29:31,647
I found him in a forest.
He was starving.
587
00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:34,566
He was dickslapping
fruit out of trees.
588
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,735
- What fruit?
- What forest?
589
00:29:36,902 --> 00:29:38,779
- I forget.
- Can't remember?
590
00:29:39,655 --> 00:29:40,864
Stop!
591
00:29:41,156 --> 00:29:42,783
He'll kill me if I blab.
592
00:29:45,202 --> 00:29:47,037
- Stop it!
- Who did it?
593
00:29:47,496 --> 00:29:48,997
Stop, for God's sake!
594
00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:50,582
Nobody knows his name.
595
00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:53,210
He's called Mad Surgeon.
596
00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:56,588
His license was revoked
for carving up his patients.
597
00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:57,881
You're not Brazilian!
598
00:30:00,676 --> 00:30:02,719
He created Ti-Kong.
599
00:30:03,136 --> 00:30:04,805
He grafts the mouths of snitches.
600
00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:11,603
He's a monster who creates monsters.
601
00:30:12,229 --> 00:30:16,066
A sort of mechanic
of the human body.
602
00:30:17,150 --> 00:30:18,485
A mechanic?
603
00:30:34,168 --> 00:30:35,711
Hi guys.
604
00:30:39,089 --> 00:30:40,674
Michel, where are we?
605
00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:42,634
Home, Francis.
606
00:30:43,594 --> 00:30:44,887
Come.
607
00:30:55,439 --> 00:30:57,191
Want me to bump myself?
608
00:30:59,067 --> 00:31:00,569
The cable, please.
609
00:31:02,988 --> 00:31:04,323
Look at this.
610
00:31:05,866 --> 00:31:07,159
But how did you...
611
00:31:07,409 --> 00:31:08,911
Why do you have the trampoline?
612
00:31:09,077 --> 00:31:11,413
Your penis is foundational.
613
00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:15,334
I loved you...
614
00:31:15,501 --> 00:31:16,627
I love you...
615
00:31:16,793 --> 00:31:18,045
I will love you.
616
00:31:21,006 --> 00:31:22,090
Look at that.
617
00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:24,468
Those fiery eyes.
618
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,303
Why am I in the photo?
619
00:31:26,887 --> 00:31:27,971
C'mon. That's nothing.
620
00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:30,933
I am the shepherd,
you are the members.
621
00:31:34,228 --> 00:31:36,939
To carry your balls
is to carry the world.
622
00:31:37,439 --> 00:31:38,565
War council, girls.
623
00:31:40,776 --> 00:31:42,569
Meet me at the dojo.
624
00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:43,987
On the double.
625
00:31:44,613 --> 00:31:46,406
We need you! Thanks.
626
00:32:39,251 --> 00:32:41,295
- I knew it. It was filmed?
- Yes.
627
00:32:41,879 --> 00:32:43,422
It's the only copy.
628
00:32:44,256 --> 00:32:45,174
Here.
629
00:32:46,550 --> 00:32:48,677
We do this every Thursday.
Right, guys?
630
00:32:56,143 --> 00:32:57,144
Francis!
631
00:33:16,038 --> 00:33:17,164
Go, Francis!
632
00:33:45,901 --> 00:33:48,487
Dickslap him!
633
00:34:00,082 --> 00:34:02,125
It's the most beautiful fight ever.
634
00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:06,004
Thanks, Michel.
635
00:34:22,896 --> 00:34:25,899
I went in
knowing I'd get my ass kicked.
636
00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:28,985
You won that fight.
You're the new Ti-Kong.
637
00:34:29,152 --> 00:34:31,697
She said I was lying,
but she was there!
638
00:34:31,864 --> 00:34:34,283
She's the liar!
639
00:34:35,284 --> 00:34:37,369
- Liar!
- Bullshit.
640
00:34:37,744 --> 00:34:39,036
She says... no sex.
641
00:34:39,204 --> 00:34:40,621
I don't... understand her.
642
00:34:40,789 --> 00:34:41,706
I'm too... gentle?
643
00:34:41,873 --> 00:34:42,958
Genital.
644
00:34:43,125 --> 00:34:44,751
It's OK to be genital.
645
00:34:44,918 --> 00:34:47,795
It's gotten too hard... to be a man.
646
00:34:50,465 --> 00:34:51,632
I know.
647
00:34:57,931 --> 00:34:59,474
You're no mechanic, Michel.
648
00:35:00,517 --> 00:35:02,644
I'm a mechanic of life, Francis.
649
00:35:03,228 --> 00:35:04,229
Glasses.
650
00:35:04,855 --> 00:35:05,981
Glasses.
651
00:35:06,690 --> 00:35:08,025
Call me Sweeper.
652
00:35:08,942 --> 00:35:10,235
Dr. Sweeper.
653
00:35:13,363 --> 00:35:14,448
Doctor?
654
00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:16,992
Such sweet guys.
655
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:18,577
They adore you.
656
00:35:19,745 --> 00:35:22,497
I envision a world led by a new man...
657
00:35:22,831 --> 00:35:24,750
and you're that man.
658
00:35:24,917 --> 00:35:26,293
What do you need cleaned?
659
00:35:26,752 --> 00:35:29,171
Know how women have
a menstrual cycle?
660
00:35:29,755 --> 00:35:30,964
Like... their period?
661
00:35:31,423 --> 00:35:32,466
Their period.
662
00:35:34,468 --> 00:35:36,845
Ovulation, luteal phase, mood swings,
663
00:35:37,012 --> 00:35:39,264
hysteria, depression, abstinence...
664
00:35:39,431 --> 00:35:40,933
The nightmare men endure.
665
00:35:42,392 --> 00:35:44,269
Could we see the washbasin?
666
00:35:45,103 --> 00:35:46,355
We will.
667
00:35:47,272 --> 00:35:49,650
First let's shed this burden
668
00:35:50,275 --> 00:35:52,194
and end the menstrual cycle.
669
00:35:53,070 --> 00:35:54,363
Is that legal?
670
00:35:56,281 --> 00:35:57,908
Infuriating is what it is.
671
00:35:58,492 --> 00:36:00,160
Something's always wrong.
672
00:36:01,161 --> 00:36:02,621
Can't make up her mind!
673
00:36:03,330 --> 00:36:04,498
It's OK.
674
00:36:04,790 --> 00:36:06,124
I've found the cure.
675
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:08,502
The moon controls their cycle.
676
00:36:09,211 --> 00:36:11,463
I thought that was bogus.
677
00:36:12,130 --> 00:36:13,465
It's in Popular Science.
678
00:36:14,550 --> 00:36:16,009
We'll destroy the moon.
679
00:36:17,094 --> 00:36:19,054
Turn them into docile,
680
00:36:19,221 --> 00:36:20,764
obedient creatures.
681
00:36:21,473 --> 00:36:23,100
We'll cleanse, Francis.
682
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,935
Cleanse with blood.
683
00:36:26,812 --> 00:36:28,981
I prefer all-natural soaps.
684
00:36:30,357 --> 00:36:33,026
Maybe we should see the machines...
685
00:36:33,193 --> 00:36:34,653
We will.
686
00:36:34,987 --> 00:36:36,196
No problem.
687
00:36:57,050 --> 00:36:58,343
What's going on?
688
00:37:06,602 --> 00:37:07,728
This brain
689
00:37:07,895 --> 00:37:10,397
belongs to the original dickslapper.
690
00:37:10,564 --> 00:37:12,191
The legacy of dear Dad.
691
00:37:12,983 --> 00:37:14,234
Your dad?
692
00:37:15,235 --> 00:37:18,530
Ti-Kong was no longer worthy.
It's yours now.
693
00:37:19,865 --> 00:37:21,658
It wasn't a birth defect?
694
00:37:21,992 --> 00:37:23,869
First 40-pound penis transplant.
695
00:37:25,037 --> 00:37:26,288
But Michel?
696
00:37:26,914 --> 00:37:28,290
You killed Ti-Kong?
697
00:37:28,457 --> 00:37:30,250
It's a passing of the torch.
698
00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:32,503
I know you want it.
699
00:37:32,961 --> 00:37:36,173
That's sweet,
but mine's a lot to carry as it is.
700
00:37:39,426 --> 00:37:42,054
I need to talk to Sonia.
I don't feel good.
701
00:37:42,221 --> 00:37:44,348
I fucked up. I have to apologize.
702
00:37:44,515 --> 00:37:46,433
We had a nice time together.
703
00:37:46,725 --> 00:37:48,894
Shooting pool was fun, but...
704
00:37:49,061 --> 00:37:50,896
You decided to stay.
705
00:37:51,271 --> 00:37:53,649
Yes, but the answer's no.
706
00:37:53,815 --> 00:37:55,776
Some no's are yes's.
707
00:37:55,943 --> 00:37:57,402
This is a no no.
708
00:37:57,569 --> 00:37:58,820
Yes, yes.
709
00:37:59,821 --> 00:38:00,948
Hold this.
710
00:38:01,448 --> 00:38:03,367
- All finished.
- What've you done?
711
00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:05,452
You'll have 1,000 Sonias.
712
00:38:05,619 --> 00:38:07,120
There's only one for me.
713
00:38:18,632 --> 00:38:20,884
Thanks for showing up.
714
00:38:21,051 --> 00:38:22,719
First, I owe you the truth.
715
00:38:23,554 --> 00:38:25,347
I was into dickslapping.
716
00:38:25,514 --> 00:38:29,476
And I idolized Ti-Kong
long before he was respectable.
717
00:38:29,643 --> 00:38:30,936
No kink shaming.
718
00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:33,438
I shot with him once,
719
00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:36,567
and realized
it was a little more than shiatsu.
720
00:38:36,859 --> 00:38:38,819
Did Francis really fight him?
721
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,071
He kicked his ass.
722
00:38:41,738 --> 00:38:42,865
Go, Francis!
723
00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:44,700
Our target
724
00:38:46,034 --> 00:38:47,202
is this guy.
725
00:38:47,578 --> 00:38:50,205
A customer
who's really a mad surgeon.
726
00:38:50,372 --> 00:38:51,415
He looks sweet.
727
00:38:52,082 --> 00:38:52,875
Bad drawing.
728
00:38:56,461 --> 00:38:58,046
He grafted Ti-Kong.
729
00:38:58,922 --> 00:39:00,132
I think he killed him,
730
00:39:00,299 --> 00:39:01,884
and then framed Francis.
731
00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:04,678
To locate Francis,
we'll hack his running app.
732
00:39:05,262 --> 00:39:06,054
He jogs?
733
00:39:06,430 --> 00:39:09,141
No. It measures sex speed in mph.
734
00:39:09,975 --> 00:39:11,894
Diverting the signal to his implant
735
00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:13,478
may give us his location.
736
00:39:13,979 --> 00:39:15,230
His implant?
737
00:39:15,606 --> 00:39:17,733
His contraceptive implant.
738
00:39:18,192 --> 00:39:19,860
His contraceptive implant?
739
00:39:20,027 --> 00:39:21,069
Aren't you abstinent?
740
00:39:21,236 --> 00:39:23,363
He's part of a test group.
741
00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:25,449
They're collecting data.
742
00:39:25,616 --> 00:39:27,492
He wanted to spare me the pill.
743
00:39:29,369 --> 00:39:30,787
Bless you.
744
00:39:31,038 --> 00:39:32,831
He never said...
745
00:39:32,998 --> 00:39:34,333
It's hardly heroic.
746
00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:36,960
Few guys I know would do that.
747
00:39:37,294 --> 00:39:39,630
- I don't know one.
- I never will.
748
00:39:42,841 --> 00:39:44,718
I'm connecting to his account.
749
00:39:47,095 --> 00:39:48,514
You know his password?
750
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,057
It's been 10 years.
751
00:39:51,892 --> 00:39:53,644
"Pookie" is so infantilizing.
752
00:39:54,061 --> 00:39:55,145
Thank you!
753
00:40:02,236 --> 00:40:03,529
Did the bypasses take?
754
00:40:03,695 --> 00:40:05,447
The spongy tissue
is responding well.
755
00:40:05,614 --> 00:40:06,657
Great!
756
00:40:07,157 --> 00:40:11,036
Leave him under anesthesia
till the root sets.
757
00:40:14,873 --> 00:40:15,916
Estimate?
758
00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:18,085
Theoretical length is 3 ft 2 in.
759
00:40:19,086 --> 00:40:20,337
That's right, boys!
760
00:40:20,504 --> 00:40:22,464
An inch more than last time.
761
00:40:22,631 --> 00:40:24,132
New record. Great work!
762
00:40:24,299 --> 00:40:25,342
Superb!
763
00:40:25,968 --> 00:40:27,803
Thanks, Francis, and bravo.
764
00:40:32,099 --> 00:40:32,850
What?
765
00:40:33,016 --> 00:40:35,185
78 mph.
What is this score?
766
00:40:35,352 --> 00:40:37,479
It's a bug.
Imagine the thrusts.
767
00:40:37,646 --> 00:40:39,064
Or he found someone.
768
00:40:39,231 --> 00:40:40,858
More like a small team.
769
00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:42,067
Sorry.
770
00:40:42,234 --> 00:40:44,945
The app points to Oak Observatory.
771
00:40:45,654 --> 00:40:48,031
Built in 1857.
Damaged in the war.
772
00:40:48,740 --> 00:40:49,783
Current owner:
773
00:40:50,158 --> 00:40:51,034
Unknown.
774
00:40:52,077 --> 00:40:53,287
We shot every angle.
775
00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:54,955
Scoped it out good.
776
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:03,922
Get down!
777
00:41:04,089 --> 00:41:06,508
It's well-guarded for a ruin.
778
00:41:06,758 --> 00:41:08,385
6 ft minimum.
779
00:41:08,552 --> 00:41:10,637
Strong arms. Bubble butts.
780
00:41:10,804 --> 00:41:12,014
A lot of them.
781
00:41:12,181 --> 00:41:13,432
There are pecs.
782
00:41:13,599 --> 00:41:16,101
Their hands have experience
783
00:41:16,435 --> 00:41:17,895
groping breasts and butts.
784
00:41:19,313 --> 00:41:21,481
It's a prison with only 2 ways in.
785
00:41:21,648 --> 00:41:22,900
Front and back.
786
00:41:24,276 --> 00:41:26,403
These are clearer.
I zoomed in.
787
00:41:26,570 --> 00:41:28,405
He's a hottie.
788
00:41:28,572 --> 00:41:29,531
Yeah.
789
00:41:29,698 --> 00:41:30,908
Ninon, you go first.
790
00:41:31,074 --> 00:41:32,409
Operation diversion.
791
00:41:32,659 --> 00:41:33,827
Got it.
792
00:41:41,502 --> 00:41:42,753
Marion, you go first.
793
00:41:44,546 --> 00:41:46,965
Where's Francis, scumbag?
794
00:41:49,092 --> 00:41:51,678
Still got the laundry van, Marcus?
795
00:41:56,725 --> 00:41:57,601
Yes.
796
00:41:57,768 --> 00:41:59,728
- We'll fake...
- Perfect.
797
00:41:59,895 --> 00:42:01,772
- ...a delivery.
- Too bad.
798
00:42:02,481 --> 00:42:04,858
Wassup, guys?
Laundry's here.
799
00:42:06,109 --> 00:42:07,277
But where are we?
800
00:42:13,992 --> 00:42:15,619
Van's too small. Won't work.
801
00:42:16,328 --> 00:42:18,372
Marcus, go in solo.
802
00:42:18,539 --> 00:42:20,999
Take the hall, scope it out, half-turn.
803
00:42:21,542 --> 00:42:24,628
Toss the laundry. You run and then...
804
00:42:32,469 --> 00:42:33,720
You never know.
805
00:42:34,471 --> 00:42:35,305
Let's do this.
806
00:42:42,229 --> 00:42:43,230
Down here!
807
00:42:46,817 --> 00:42:49,778
- Is 62 calls harassment?
- Well, no.
808
00:42:50,237 --> 00:42:52,322
At the end of the tunnel is...
809
00:42:52,489 --> 00:42:54,783
sex, sex, sex...
810
00:43:06,795 --> 00:43:08,255
The old brain is resisting.
811
00:43:08,589 --> 00:43:09,673
Normal.
812
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:10,966
- Cardio?
- Check.
813
00:43:12,301 --> 00:43:14,052
- Blood flow?
- Check.
814
00:43:14,386 --> 00:43:16,013
Brace operational.
815
00:43:17,055 --> 00:43:19,933
Drainage in 3, 2, 1...
816
00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:21,310
Draining.
817
00:43:40,913 --> 00:43:42,122
Sonia?
818
00:43:42,664 --> 00:43:44,082
Where are we?
819
00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:46,210
The recovery room.
820
00:43:47,503 --> 00:43:49,296
It's me, everything is fine.
821
00:43:49,463 --> 00:43:50,422
Pardon me.
822
00:44:00,933 --> 00:44:03,227
Sorry! It wasn't me!
823
00:44:03,936 --> 00:44:06,230
Down, boy!
824
00:44:06,897 --> 00:44:09,399
It's a reflex.
Everything is fine.
825
00:44:09,566 --> 00:44:11,485
What've you done, Michel!
826
00:44:11,652 --> 00:44:14,404
Relax.
It's there to make you stronger.
827
00:44:15,906 --> 00:44:18,617
I don't care!
I want to see Sonia!
828
00:44:18,784 --> 00:44:22,329
Fusion will soon be complete.
I'm proud of you!
829
00:44:22,871 --> 00:44:23,872
Excuse me. Sorry!
830
00:44:24,039 --> 00:44:25,958
Give him another magnesium.
831
00:44:31,755 --> 00:44:33,215
What the hell is this?
832
00:44:35,968 --> 00:44:37,970
Why's there a picture of Francis?
833
00:44:39,304 --> 00:44:40,389
What are they doing?
834
00:44:42,850 --> 00:44:44,268
Dick tag.
835
00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:46,103
They're so accurate.
836
00:44:46,687 --> 00:44:47,938
Look at that one!
837
00:44:54,319 --> 00:44:55,654
The violence of it!
838
00:44:56,822 --> 00:44:59,366
- See Francis?
- No, there's too many of them.
839
00:45:01,326 --> 00:45:03,370
That's him! That's Michel!
840
00:45:03,829 --> 00:45:05,038
From the dry cleaner!
841
00:45:05,205 --> 00:45:07,541
Gentlemen, gather round.
842
00:45:11,753 --> 00:45:13,005
Brothers,
843
00:45:13,172 --> 00:45:15,048
the brain has joined its host
844
00:45:15,257 --> 00:45:16,550
and thanks to you,
845
00:45:16,758 --> 00:45:18,468
the Totem is now erect.
846
00:45:21,054 --> 00:45:22,848
What'd we get ourselves into?
847
00:45:25,601 --> 00:45:26,602
Yes!
848
00:45:27,186 --> 00:45:28,312
That's right!
849
00:45:31,940 --> 00:45:33,233
Well done!
850
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:34,610
Well done, guys!
851
00:45:37,905 --> 00:45:39,448
Well done, brothers!
852
00:45:43,076 --> 00:45:44,995
Looking at you, what do I see?
853
00:45:46,830 --> 00:45:47,998
I see love.
854
00:45:49,583 --> 00:45:51,335
Fuck, do I see love!
855
00:45:51,793 --> 00:45:53,587
Overflowing love.
856
00:45:55,506 --> 00:45:57,925
It's here, dripping.
857
00:45:58,091 --> 00:46:00,594
It's all over, we're knee-deep in it.
858
00:46:00,761 --> 00:46:02,804
And nobody wants this love.
859
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,141
They'll finally pay
860
00:46:07,267 --> 00:46:09,978
for all their sneering looks.
861
00:46:11,230 --> 00:46:13,982
For leaving us hanging
on the dance floor.
862
00:46:14,566 --> 00:46:16,818
For the late-night texts:
863
00:46:17,277 --> 00:46:19,696
actually they can't come by.
864
00:46:20,322 --> 00:46:23,367
Last-minute work meeting?
865
00:46:23,534 --> 00:46:26,119
Couldn't she have given a heads-up?
866
00:46:26,286 --> 00:46:28,413
What's it cost to send a text?
867
00:46:28,956 --> 00:46:30,749
What's it cost?
868
00:46:30,916 --> 00:46:32,084
Nothing!
869
00:46:33,418 --> 00:46:34,753
Nothing.
870
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,296
This isn't 2002.
871
00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:39,174
Plans are unlimited now, brothers.
872
00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:41,176
Unlimited!
873
00:46:46,890 --> 00:46:48,600
They'll pay.
874
00:46:50,811 --> 00:46:54,439
Was it a crime
to say I had experience?
875
00:46:54,690 --> 00:46:56,358
Couldn't she understand?
876
00:46:56,525 --> 00:46:58,944
Couldn't she see I was lying?
877
00:47:00,863 --> 00:47:02,823
She ripped off my boxers...
878
00:47:03,615 --> 00:47:05,993
Is modesty a crime?
879
00:47:06,577 --> 00:47:07,953
Well, is it?
880
00:47:09,955 --> 00:47:11,415
Want to handcuff me?
881
00:47:13,125 --> 00:47:15,210
I'm breaking out of my chains!
882
00:47:16,086 --> 00:47:17,379
Yes!
883
00:47:25,762 --> 00:47:27,598
Know who I had for bio?
884
00:47:28,223 --> 00:47:29,641
Mrs. Bouffard.
885
00:47:34,771 --> 00:47:37,149
She used fruit to demonstrate love.
886
00:47:38,358 --> 00:47:40,861
Talk about lame teaching!
887
00:47:41,028 --> 00:47:42,237
Lame!
888
00:47:42,404 --> 00:47:44,198
And it's inconsiderate.
889
00:47:44,573 --> 00:47:47,409
A banana is huge!
890
00:47:48,202 --> 00:47:50,537
A banana is fucking huge!
891
00:47:50,996 --> 00:47:54,416
Don't they realize it damages our ego?
892
00:47:54,583 --> 00:47:59,046
Don't they realize it can destroy a man?
893
00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:00,797
Bad banana!
894
00:48:00,964 --> 00:48:02,799
Bad banana!
895
00:48:02,966 --> 00:48:04,885
Bad banana!
896
00:48:07,012 --> 00:48:09,473
Perhaps a small banana...
897
00:48:09,681 --> 00:48:11,016
and even then!
898
00:48:11,183 --> 00:48:13,727
Why resort to fruit, damn it?
899
00:48:15,103 --> 00:48:17,147
What's average? Not that.
900
00:48:17,314 --> 00:48:19,441
A banana is above average,
901
00:48:19,608 --> 00:48:22,528
what's the point?
It's inhumane.
902
00:48:23,570 --> 00:48:26,573
Oh, size doesn't matter? My ass!
903
00:48:26,990 --> 00:48:30,035
My ass it doesn't!
They're lying to us.
904
00:48:30,202 --> 00:48:32,162
Liars!
905
00:48:32,329 --> 00:48:33,622
Liars!
906
00:48:34,456 --> 00:48:36,291
Hush!
907
00:48:38,418 --> 00:48:41,505
They'll pay, brothers.
They'll pay.
908
00:48:41,922 --> 00:48:44,716
I'm telling you, hold onto this...
909
00:48:45,217 --> 00:48:46,760
To your little heart.
910
00:48:47,386 --> 00:48:49,388
Your bruised heart.
911
00:48:50,222 --> 00:48:51,473
Rip it out.
912
00:48:54,643 --> 00:48:57,688
And drop it onto
the Totem Pole of redemption.
913
00:49:00,816 --> 00:49:01,984
Whiteboard.
914
00:49:06,738 --> 00:49:08,156
What are you doing?
915
00:49:09,449 --> 00:49:11,618
Think I can peek over it
916
00:49:11,785 --> 00:49:13,579
without seeing my own notes.
917
00:49:14,580 --> 00:49:15,706
He's a sicko.
918
00:49:15,873 --> 00:49:17,583
I'll explain how it works.
919
00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:22,462
Look at these complex diagrams.
920
00:49:23,255 --> 00:49:25,507
Picture the totem-bearer
921
00:49:25,674 --> 00:49:27,801
striking the strength tester...
922
00:49:27,968 --> 00:49:28,677
What is that?
923
00:49:28,844 --> 00:49:31,305
...and tripping the space laser.
924
00:49:31,805 --> 00:49:32,973
A sex toy?
925
00:49:34,016 --> 00:49:35,642
No, a carnival attraction.
926
00:49:36,185 --> 00:49:37,311
This new world...
927
00:49:37,477 --> 00:49:40,063
Hit it hard enough
and you ring the bell.
928
00:49:40,564 --> 00:49:42,065
...rises before us...
929
00:49:42,482 --> 00:49:45,068
It looks like a cannon to me.
930
00:49:45,235 --> 00:49:47,029
...realizing all our dreams.
931
00:49:47,196 --> 00:49:48,197
Love!
932
00:49:48,864 --> 00:49:50,240
And sex.
933
00:49:54,912 --> 00:49:56,121
I love you.
934
00:49:56,705 --> 00:49:58,415
We love you too.
935
00:50:01,376 --> 00:50:02,544
You didn't say it.
936
00:50:03,962 --> 00:50:05,130
I love you.
937
00:50:06,006 --> 00:50:06,965
Didn't hear you.
938
00:50:07,841 --> 00:50:09,051
I love you.
939
00:50:10,260 --> 00:50:10,928
Again.
940
00:50:16,558 --> 00:50:17,726
So do I.
941
00:50:18,894 --> 00:50:20,646
Here's the plan. We strike here.
942
00:50:22,314 --> 00:50:23,565
And here.
943
00:50:24,525 --> 00:50:28,153
And here I promise a hormonal storm
944
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,031
that will make
even the most rebellious women
945
00:50:31,657 --> 00:50:33,534
far less rebellious.
946
00:50:37,788 --> 00:50:39,164
Places for the ritual.
947
00:50:40,832 --> 00:50:43,460
The Totem requires your attention.
948
00:50:43,627 --> 00:50:45,462
Renewal approaches.
949
00:50:47,798 --> 00:50:50,509
- They're gonna dickslap the moon!
- No!
950
00:50:50,676 --> 00:50:52,678
Yes! Marcus is right.
951
00:50:52,845 --> 00:50:55,347
It's a canon.
They're gonna dickslap the moon.
952
00:50:55,514 --> 00:50:56,807
It'll disrupt our cycles.
953
00:50:57,307 --> 00:50:58,600
Our uteruses will explode!
954
00:50:58,767 --> 00:51:00,686
There'll be a tampon shortage.
955
00:51:01,812 --> 00:51:04,064
Nobody's sure
the moon acts on periods.
956
00:51:04,231 --> 00:51:05,983
97%.
957
00:51:06,316 --> 00:51:07,234
Says who?
958
00:51:07,901 --> 00:51:09,319
I won't tell you.
959
00:51:09,486 --> 00:51:10,863
- Cosmo.
- Shit.
960
00:51:11,947 --> 00:51:13,866
97% isn't 100.
961
00:51:14,157 --> 00:51:15,325
We're gonna die.
962
00:51:15,492 --> 00:51:16,451
No, we won't.
963
00:51:17,953 --> 00:51:19,788
Get that cannon unplugged,
964
00:51:20,122 --> 00:51:22,165
and I'll find Francis.
965
00:51:24,126 --> 00:51:25,294
Good luck.
966
00:51:26,837 --> 00:51:28,839
- Go on, Marcus.
- I'm going.
967
00:51:29,590 --> 00:51:30,632
Go on.
968
00:51:30,799 --> 00:51:32,009
I'm going.
969
00:51:32,968 --> 00:51:34,511
- Then go!
- I'll go.
970
00:51:40,726 --> 00:51:42,519
This is not a drill!
971
00:51:42,686 --> 00:51:43,854
Come on!
972
00:51:51,195 --> 00:51:52,779
You're not the boss of me!
973
00:51:54,031 --> 00:51:55,282
Fuck!
974
00:51:56,825 --> 00:51:58,619
You're not the boss of me!
975
00:52:00,704 --> 00:52:01,914
I've come for you!
976
00:52:02,706 --> 00:52:05,292
Sonia! No, don't look!
It's nothing.
977
00:52:06,043 --> 00:52:07,169
What is that?
978
00:52:07,336 --> 00:52:08,837
It's not what you think.
979
00:52:09,671 --> 00:52:11,715
A giant cock in armor?
980
00:52:11,882 --> 00:52:13,383
OK, it is what you think...
981
00:52:15,886 --> 00:52:18,597
I just wanted a sexless year.
Your penis was fine.
982
00:52:19,431 --> 00:52:20,974
Blame Michel Sweeper!
983
00:52:21,141 --> 00:52:22,893
Sure, your pal's fault.
984
00:52:24,144 --> 00:52:25,521
It has a life of its own!
985
00:52:28,607 --> 00:52:30,275
It's trying to talk to me.
986
00:52:31,860 --> 00:52:33,111
It's the brain.
987
00:52:33,487 --> 00:52:34,613
Fuck!
988
00:52:35,155 --> 00:52:36,323
The brain.
989
00:52:37,199 --> 00:52:40,744
Michel's dead dad's brain
is in the cock stuck to me.
990
00:52:41,245 --> 00:52:42,746
We'll remove it, but how?
991
00:52:43,539 --> 00:52:44,748
This can't be!
992
00:52:49,878 --> 00:52:51,088
How's it attached?
993
00:52:51,255 --> 00:52:52,756
It wants to go to the moon.
994
00:52:52,923 --> 00:52:54,383
Don't listen to it!
995
00:52:54,716 --> 00:52:56,051
I want to hug you.
996
00:52:56,385 --> 00:52:58,554
- But it might be a trap.
- Probably.
997
00:53:02,307 --> 00:53:03,642
Stop it!
998
00:53:06,854 --> 00:53:08,105
Sorry!
999
00:53:09,606 --> 00:53:10,524
It's OK.
1000
00:53:10,691 --> 00:53:12,401
It's getting hard again!
1001
00:53:14,945 --> 00:53:15,988
We'll tie it up.
1002
00:53:20,158 --> 00:53:21,201
Shoot!
1003
00:53:22,035 --> 00:53:23,078
Stop!
1004
00:53:23,829 --> 00:53:25,873
- What are you doing?
- It's not me!
1005
00:53:26,164 --> 00:53:27,249
I'm sorry!
1006
00:53:38,093 --> 00:53:40,012
It's taking over your body.
1007
00:53:46,185 --> 00:53:48,645
That must be the off switch.
1008
00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:50,439
I'm not feeling it.
1009
00:53:50,606 --> 00:53:51,732
3 vs. 5 is doable.
1010
00:53:52,274 --> 00:53:53,984
I only see 2 of you.
1011
00:53:54,693 --> 00:53:56,904
We'll run at them screaming.
1012
00:53:58,280 --> 00:53:59,364
On three...
1013
00:54:07,623 --> 00:54:10,167
Nothing personal,
but we have a button to push.
1014
00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:11,668
And it is kinda personal.
1015
00:54:23,430 --> 00:54:25,224
It feels like a huge cramp.
1016
00:54:25,390 --> 00:54:27,100
- It's not a muscle.
- What then?
1017
00:54:27,267 --> 00:54:28,644
Tighten your pelvic floor!
1018
00:54:30,187 --> 00:54:32,606
- What's that?
- I've explained 100 times.
1019
00:54:32,773 --> 00:54:35,734
Don't lose control
like Ti-Kong did a decade ago.
1020
00:54:36,026 --> 00:54:37,277
You want that?
1021
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,408
No, I want to spank you
with a ping-pong racket.
1022
00:54:44,243 --> 00:54:45,619
Huh? No!
1023
00:54:45,786 --> 00:54:46,870
It took back control.
1024
00:54:47,037 --> 00:54:49,456
This is crazy. I swear it's not me.
1025
00:54:49,623 --> 00:54:51,124
Homerun!
1026
00:54:52,042 --> 00:54:52,709
What?
1027
00:54:54,753 --> 00:54:56,088
I dickslap you!
1028
00:54:56,547 --> 00:54:58,799
- Here titty-titties!
- Crude.
1029
00:55:02,427 --> 00:55:03,887
Behind you!
1030
00:55:10,894 --> 00:55:13,063
Beautiful! Very impressive!
1031
00:55:14,523 --> 00:55:15,482
Gently stroke it.
1032
00:55:17,609 --> 00:55:19,403
I'll catch it off guard.
1033
00:55:20,487 --> 00:55:21,613
It's cold.
1034
00:55:33,584 --> 00:55:36,086
Marcus, you're useless!
Get the van!
1035
00:55:36,253 --> 00:55:37,254
OK.
1036
00:55:44,845 --> 00:55:46,930
I wanted to say I'm sorry.
1037
00:55:47,097 --> 00:55:48,182
No, I'm sorry.
1038
00:55:48,348 --> 00:55:50,392
You were right.
I'm too genital.
1039
00:55:50,559 --> 00:55:52,978
To be fair, it's an ambiguous term.
1040
00:55:53,145 --> 00:55:54,396
I'm gonna die.
1041
00:55:54,563 --> 00:55:56,064
It's draining my blood.
1042
00:55:56,231 --> 00:55:58,275
Don't say that. You won't die.
1043
00:55:58,442 --> 00:56:00,152
Keep talking...
1044
00:56:00,444 --> 00:56:02,487
Tell me about our first kiss.
1045
00:56:02,654 --> 00:56:04,323
After I fought Ti-Kong?
1046
00:56:04,489 --> 00:56:06,158
No, our first real kiss.
1047
00:56:06,408 --> 00:56:08,535
At the little Mexican place
by the beach.
1048
00:56:10,370 --> 00:56:11,705
It was wonderful.
1049
00:56:12,331 --> 00:56:15,375
Remember?
The guy left us the keys...
1050
00:56:16,251 --> 00:56:17,586
We danced all night.
1051
00:56:17,753 --> 00:56:19,755
I stepped on your feet.
1052
00:56:19,922 --> 00:56:21,131
Like you are now.
1053
00:56:21,298 --> 00:56:22,883
I drooled on your shoulder.
1054
00:56:30,182 --> 00:56:31,767
The burritos were amazing.
1055
00:56:31,934 --> 00:56:33,101
They were tacos...
1056
00:56:33,268 --> 00:56:35,729
- I see burritos everywhere.
- That's normal.
1057
00:56:37,397 --> 00:56:39,066
I think it's calming down.
1058
00:56:39,942 --> 00:56:42,069
Great. Let's keep talking.
1059
00:56:42,694 --> 00:56:44,112
What's in burritos?
1060
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,199
Corn...
1061
00:56:48,367 --> 00:56:50,035
Cheese...
1062
00:56:53,497 --> 00:56:54,831
Guacamole...
1063
00:56:55,082 --> 00:56:57,209
There are two schools, but yes.
1064
00:56:58,252 --> 00:57:00,045
- Beans?
- Yes.
1065
00:57:00,254 --> 00:57:01,630
Red beans.
1066
00:57:04,716 --> 00:57:06,468
Thanks. Are you OK?
1067
00:57:21,191 --> 00:57:22,943
Aww, aren't they cute?
1068
00:57:23,110 --> 00:57:24,570
No, it's him. Michel.
1069
00:57:24,736 --> 00:57:26,446
You came for him.
1070
00:57:26,905 --> 00:57:28,657
You've gone up in my esteem.
1071
00:57:28,824 --> 00:57:30,158
Wait, that's him?
1072
00:57:35,122 --> 00:57:36,081
Hello, Sonia.
1073
00:57:36,999 --> 00:57:39,126
- Did you graft that on him?
- Yes.
1074
00:57:42,421 --> 00:57:43,755
Frigid!
1075
00:57:44,423 --> 00:57:45,757
What'd you tell him?
1076
00:57:46,717 --> 00:57:48,969
- What?
- How'd you talk him into this?
1077
00:57:49,595 --> 00:57:51,013
I didn't.
1078
00:57:51,180 --> 00:57:52,806
You did all the work.
1079
00:57:53,307 --> 00:57:54,725
The deprivation...
1080
00:57:54,892 --> 00:57:57,853
The way you crush
our ego, confidence, potential.
1081
00:57:59,062 --> 00:58:00,272
Francis isn't your toy.
1082
00:58:02,816 --> 00:58:04,026
Well...
1083
00:58:04,484 --> 00:58:05,611
I have a screen here
1084
00:58:05,777 --> 00:58:07,112
that says otherwise.
1085
00:58:07,279 --> 00:58:08,363
Transplant complete.
1086
00:58:12,993 --> 00:58:14,244
Bye, Sonia.
1087
01:01:02,913 --> 01:01:03,956
It's time!
1088
01:01:08,168 --> 01:01:09,878
This world is dirty!
1089
01:01:10,963 --> 01:01:12,339
But Francis...
1090
01:01:13,215 --> 01:01:14,591
is here to cleanse it.
1091
01:01:15,300 --> 01:01:16,385
Come here.
1092
01:01:18,679 --> 01:01:19,888
Come, brother.
1093
01:01:21,056 --> 01:01:22,224
Come.
1094
01:01:29,857 --> 01:01:31,108
Thank you, Francis!
1095
01:01:34,319 --> 01:01:36,154
But it's huge!
1096
01:01:36,321 --> 01:01:38,282
It's sizable.
1097
01:01:38,574 --> 01:01:40,033
It's horrible.
1098
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:41,285
Sonia, any ideas?
1099
01:01:41,451 --> 01:01:42,870
Thank you, Francis!
1100
01:01:45,038 --> 01:01:46,874
He's gonna dickslap the sex toy?
1101
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:48,208
10 yards to live.
1102
01:01:48,375 --> 01:01:50,210
But I'm too young to die!
1103
01:01:51,545 --> 01:01:52,713
I love you!
1104
01:01:55,424 --> 01:01:56,884
I've tried everything.
1105
01:02:01,847 --> 01:02:02,973
Come!
1106
01:02:09,479 --> 01:02:10,898
Pookie!
1107
01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:17,779
Francis!
1108
01:02:17,946 --> 01:02:19,114
Listen to me.
1109
01:02:21,116 --> 01:02:22,492
I know you're lost.
1110
01:02:23,952 --> 01:02:25,996
The world is changing too fast.
1111
01:02:26,163 --> 01:02:27,414
I'm counting to 3.
1112
01:02:27,581 --> 01:02:29,625
You can't change overnight,
1113
01:02:30,334 --> 01:02:31,793
but I know you're trying.
1114
01:02:49,019 --> 01:02:52,731
After 10 years together,
we have to reinvent ourselves.
1115
01:02:58,946 --> 01:03:00,531
Know that I still need you...
1116
01:03:02,199 --> 01:03:03,158
but I have needs too.
1117
01:03:06,537 --> 01:03:08,580
Time for myself, see?
1118
01:03:11,166 --> 01:03:13,710
I know you're afraid
of getting left behind...
1119
01:03:15,420 --> 01:03:16,713
of not measuring up.
1120
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:21,426
But stop thinking with your dick!
1121
01:03:27,182 --> 01:03:28,809
I know you can do it!
1122
01:03:30,727 --> 01:03:32,271
So come back to us.
1123
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,189
Come back!
1124
01:04:05,095 --> 01:04:06,346
Step aside or else!
1125
01:04:06,972 --> 01:04:08,974
Stay where you are!
1126
01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:11,393
Should I press here?
1127
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:13,187
- Here, take this.
- I'm cold.
1128
01:04:13,437 --> 01:04:14,730
Hush! It'll be OK.
1129
01:04:19,276 --> 01:04:20,485
I like being held.
1130
01:04:20,652 --> 01:04:21,820
Why are they circling?
1131
01:04:22,613 --> 01:04:23,697
Cut it out!
1132
01:04:23,864 --> 01:04:25,449
What's the plan now?
1133
01:04:26,033 --> 01:04:27,284
Shut up!
1134
01:04:29,578 --> 01:04:31,079
Thanks for rescuing me.
1135
01:04:31,246 --> 01:04:33,582
I could never abandon you.
1136
01:04:33,749 --> 01:04:35,375
I gave you the greatest gift,
1137
01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:36,668
the most generous,
1138
01:04:36,835 --> 01:04:38,378
and you cockblock me?
1139
01:04:39,087 --> 01:04:41,298
You've dashed
my spatial dickslap dreams,
1140
01:04:41,465 --> 01:04:43,091
and ruined everything.
1141
01:04:44,593 --> 01:04:46,053
Seriously, you're dead.
1142
01:04:46,970 --> 01:04:48,263
You're too genital.
1143
01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:50,933
"Genital" is not a word!
1144
01:04:51,683 --> 01:04:52,809
The sword.
1145
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,944
I'll break your necks.
1146
01:05:02,611 --> 01:05:04,988
You thinking what I'm thinking?
1147
01:05:05,531 --> 01:05:06,949
Dick tag!
1148
01:05:07,991 --> 01:05:10,035
That's cheating.
They have no dicks.
1149
01:05:56,957 --> 01:05:58,000
Let go of him!
1150
01:06:33,785 --> 01:06:34,953
Calm down, Michel!
1151
01:06:35,579 --> 01:06:36,496
Never!
1152
01:07:05,484 --> 01:07:07,152
You're getting on my nerves!
1153
01:07:25,546 --> 01:07:27,214
Stop! I don't want to play!
1154
01:07:27,506 --> 01:07:30,717
Stop now or you'll regret it!
1155
01:08:22,853 --> 01:08:24,520
Marcus!
1156
01:08:33,654 --> 01:08:34,781
Francis...
1157
01:08:36,408 --> 01:08:37,910
Sonia was right.
1158
01:08:38,285 --> 01:08:39,661
Stay with me, buddy.
1159
01:08:40,828 --> 01:08:42,331
I've been thinking...
1160
01:08:43,457 --> 01:08:45,667
It wasn't you who needed me,
1161
01:08:45,876 --> 01:08:47,336
it was the reverse.
1162
01:08:50,380 --> 01:08:51,756
My resignation.
1163
01:08:52,174 --> 01:08:53,300
Let me read it.
1164
01:08:53,634 --> 01:08:54,593
Now?
1165
01:08:57,970 --> 01:08:59,389
"Dear Francis...
1166
01:08:59,973 --> 01:09:02,100
"It's been an honor working with you,
1167
01:09:02,725 --> 01:09:03,852
"but I've my own path.
1168
01:09:05,312 --> 01:09:06,270
"P.S.
1169
01:09:06,688 --> 01:09:08,941
"Turn off the power on weekends,
1170
01:09:09,483 --> 01:09:11,859
"and descale machine...
1171
01:09:12,236 --> 01:09:13,069
"#3."
1172
01:09:14,029 --> 01:09:15,197
I will.
1173
01:09:31,337 --> 01:09:32,005
Got a stain.
1174
01:09:36,385 --> 01:09:39,011
Made you look...
1175
01:09:55,737 --> 01:09:57,239
It's over, Michel.
1176
01:09:59,032 --> 01:10:00,409
It's not over!
1177
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:29,813
Stop!
1178
01:10:30,647 --> 01:10:32,816
- Stay back!
- Don't be a fool, Michel.
1179
01:10:33,275 --> 01:10:35,485
Don't move! Don't touch me!
1180
01:10:35,652 --> 01:10:37,196
I gave you the world. You blew it.
1181
01:10:37,362 --> 01:10:39,948
I feel your pain.
I've struggled too.
1182
01:10:40,115 --> 01:10:42,159
Not like I did, stop!
1183
01:10:42,326 --> 01:10:43,368
- Stop.
- What?
1184
01:10:43,535 --> 01:10:45,329
No, you stop!
1185
01:10:46,622 --> 01:10:49,750
This world disgusts me, Francis.
1186
01:10:50,250 --> 01:10:51,793
Your world is too small.
1187
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:53,962
Maybe you had a bad experience.
1188
01:10:54,213 --> 01:10:56,340
I've had a thousand. Only bad ones.
1189
01:10:57,007 --> 01:10:58,800
Bullshit. Not a thousand.
1190
01:10:58,967 --> 01:11:00,594
2 or 3, same thing.
1191
01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:04,306
It's easy for you.
1192
01:11:05,307 --> 01:11:07,267
Sonia came for you.
1193
01:11:09,853 --> 01:11:11,438
Nobody's coming for me.
1194
01:11:17,027 --> 01:11:18,654
I came for you.
1195
01:11:25,827 --> 01:11:26,995
Oh, I see.
1196
01:11:27,162 --> 01:11:27,996
Get off.
1197
01:11:31,625 --> 01:11:32,835
Watch me.
1198
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:37,130
I'll show you
what it means to be a man.
1199
01:11:48,100 --> 01:11:49,142
Be brave, Marcus.
1200
01:12:12,666 --> 01:12:13,834
It misfired!
1201
01:12:16,128 --> 01:12:17,296
Francis!
1202
01:12:22,301 --> 01:12:24,303
Look, no period!
1203
01:12:24,761 --> 01:12:27,097
Girls, come help me!
1204
01:12:27,264 --> 01:12:28,348
Help me!
1205
01:12:31,685 --> 01:12:33,020
In here.
1206
01:12:34,062 --> 01:12:36,398
Marcus, find his penis, please.
1207
01:12:38,483 --> 01:12:39,526
You OK?
1208
01:12:39,693 --> 01:12:42,070
I'm happy we made up.
1209
01:12:42,529 --> 01:12:44,198
It was crazy to cut off your dick.
1210
01:12:44,448 --> 01:12:46,450
It'll grow back.
1211
01:12:46,617 --> 01:12:48,368
Got it! Here.
1212
01:12:48,619 --> 01:12:50,204
Yes, it's this one.
1213
01:12:50,370 --> 01:12:52,206
It's in Popular Science.
1214
01:12:52,372 --> 01:12:53,540
Hold his dick.
1215
01:12:53,707 --> 01:12:55,083
I'm not holding his dick!
1216
01:12:55,250 --> 01:12:58,045
We're gonna do it. We have to!
1217
01:12:58,420 --> 01:13:00,839
- He'll be so grateful.
- Think so?
1218
01:13:01,006 --> 01:13:03,759
Look, there's still a lot left.
1219
01:13:04,218 --> 01:13:05,511
It's flowing.
1220
01:13:06,512 --> 01:13:08,138
It's flowing!
1221
01:13:29,326 --> 01:13:32,246
Well, I have to tell you the ending.
1222
01:13:33,497 --> 01:13:37,084
Michel,
your strength tester got misaligned.
1223
01:13:37,668 --> 01:13:39,711
It skewed everything by 4 inches.
1224
01:13:39,878 --> 01:13:41,171
You missed the moon.
1225
01:13:42,047 --> 01:13:45,092
Just goes to show,
4 inches can save the world!
1226
01:13:46,343 --> 01:13:47,761
I don't mean you, Ti-Kong.
1227
01:13:47,928 --> 01:13:52,182
I know you tried to change things
in your own way.
1228
01:13:53,809 --> 01:13:56,562
Sonia did a hack job
on my stitches,
1229
01:13:56,728 --> 01:13:58,021
so she...
1230
01:13:58,564 --> 01:14:00,649
finished me off with tape.
1231
01:14:03,068 --> 01:14:04,862
Careful of the bandages.
1232
01:14:05,028 --> 01:14:06,154
Sorry.
1233
01:14:06,822 --> 01:14:09,199
I went to a specialist.
1234
01:14:09,658 --> 01:14:11,869
It's healing nicely. I think.
1235
01:14:12,911 --> 01:14:14,705
All this brought us closer.
1236
01:14:14,872 --> 01:14:16,498
It's been 1 year without sex.
1237
01:14:16,665 --> 01:14:18,750
A year without sex. All done.
1238
01:14:18,917 --> 01:14:22,921
The doctors say
it'll take another 2 months to heal.
1239
01:14:23,881 --> 01:14:25,048
Oh really?
1240
01:14:26,925 --> 01:14:28,093
The dojo reopened...
1241
01:14:28,844 --> 01:14:30,929
I can feel your energy!
1242
01:14:31,096 --> 01:14:33,348
It went co-ed. Business is booming.
1243
01:14:33,515 --> 01:14:34,892
Once it's warm,
1244
01:14:35,058 --> 01:14:39,062
feminine and masculine energy fuse.
1245
01:14:39,229 --> 01:14:40,522
Got it?
1246
01:14:40,856 --> 01:14:42,733
Marcus finally took vacation.
1247
01:14:44,109 --> 01:14:46,403
Weird being at the dry cleaner alone.
1248
01:14:50,407 --> 01:14:51,867
But I'm happy for him.
1249
01:14:54,620 --> 01:14:56,580
Sorry, you're gone.
1250
01:14:58,123 --> 01:15:00,375
INSERT EPITAPH HERE
1251
01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:02,085
I'm sure
1252
01:15:02,252 --> 01:15:03,545
with a little work
1253
01:15:03,712 --> 01:15:06,006
the 3 of us
could've been friends.
1254
01:15:16,350 --> 01:15:17,518
Well...
1255
01:15:19,436 --> 01:15:20,687
Bye, guys.
1256
01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:43,836
- You OK?
- It's my nose, I think.
1257
01:15:44,378 --> 01:15:46,839
You think this penis is giant.
1258
01:15:47,256 --> 01:15:49,550
And it is. Let's not kid ourselves.
1259
01:15:53,595 --> 01:15:55,013
He looks pissed.
1260
01:15:55,180 --> 01:15:56,431
That's me.
1261
01:15:57,599 --> 01:15:58,767
OK, girls.
1262
01:15:58,934 --> 01:16:00,769
Most important meridian.
1263
01:16:00,936 --> 01:16:03,021
We stimulate it as much as we can.
1264
01:16:03,188 --> 01:16:04,523
Voodoo ritual,
1265
01:16:04,731 --> 01:16:07,943
cigar cutting accident,
nothing's off the table.
1266
01:16:08,110 --> 01:16:09,653
Watch the private parts.
1267
01:16:09,820 --> 01:16:11,154
You OK, Intern?
1268
01:16:13,657 --> 01:16:14,825
Honey?
1269
01:16:15,325 --> 01:16:16,118
Honey?
1270
01:16:17,202 --> 01:16:19,037
Come untie me, please.
1271
01:16:33,385 --> 01:16:34,553
Hi.
1272
01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:35,888
How've you been?
1273
01:16:36,805 --> 01:16:38,140
I didn't hear anything.
1274
01:16:38,473 --> 01:16:39,474
How've you been?
1275
01:16:40,642 --> 01:16:42,102
I have a little...
1276
01:16:42,728 --> 01:16:44,146
back pain.
1277
01:16:44,479 --> 01:16:46,940
Could someone call the...
1278
01:16:47,691 --> 01:16:49,234
ambulance...
1279
01:16:49,484 --> 01:16:51,236
or a chiropractor...
1280
01:16:52,029 --> 01:16:53,322
Holy cow!
1281
01:16:54,072 --> 01:16:56,366
We hope you liked the film.
1282
01:16:56,742 --> 01:16:58,660
That you laughed a lot...
1283
01:16:59,119 --> 01:17:00,996
and understood the message...
1284
01:17:01,830 --> 01:17:03,373
That is...
1285
01:17:04,124 --> 01:17:07,085
Women are liars
and you should avoid them...
1286
01:17:07,419 --> 01:17:08,795
like the plague.
1287
01:17:09,963 --> 01:17:11,006
Holy cow!
1288
01:17:11,590 --> 01:17:12,799
Every Thursday,
1289
01:17:12,966 --> 01:17:14,676
we hold screenings
1290
01:17:15,093 --> 01:17:17,054
but also workshops...
1291
01:17:22,434 --> 01:17:24,603
Gotcha! I'm still here.
1292
01:17:25,479 --> 01:17:28,982
Seriously, if you could just call a...
77342
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