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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:40,707 THIS STORY BEGINS IN 2012 2 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:47,297 FRANCIS FIGHTS TI-KONG, A MARTIAL ARTS STAR WITH A GIANT PENIS 3 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:52,970 THAT'S WHEN HE MEETS SONIA, THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE 4 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,891 10 YEARS LATER, IT'S A NEW ERA AND TI-KONG IS BACK... 5 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,093 An erotic film star in the 2000s, 6 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,345 manly hero of violent movies, 7 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,597 this is Ti-Kong's story. 8 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,101 Ti-Kong started martial arts young. 9 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,061 Scouted by a Brazilian director, 10 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,897 he starred in action films 11 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:47,441 based on his rare abilities. 12 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,322 His huge member has earned him many nicknames: 13 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,948 THE THIRD LEG 14 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:55,866 TOOL OF JADE 15 00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,704 Nobody knows whether it's due to a birth defect 16 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,123 or a targeted workout plan. 17 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,043 It's scientifically possible. 18 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,253 But it all ended after a stunt gone wrong. 19 00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:11,965 Ti-Kong awakened from an 8-year coma 20 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,301 and turned over a new leaf. 21 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:24,686 His 2020 memoirs were a sensation, 22 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,564 and other influential works followed. 23 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,693 Ti-Kong is now a world-famous influencer. 24 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:45,499 No! This is a nightmare! 25 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,167 Is this manhood today? 26 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,170 10 years ago, he was a violent film star 27 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,672 and now he's an icon? 28 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,759 I think our bed's too big. 29 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:58,053 - It doesn't shock you? - Not at all. 30 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,556 Did you fix my pants? 31 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,391 Yes. 32 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,601 But the seams are worn. 33 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,645 Normal. We train hard. 34 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,772 Shall we train too, Pookie? 35 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,191 Don't call me that. 36 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,819 6 months and 7 days since we had sex! 37 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,737 I'm not keeping track 38 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,699 but that's approximately 182 days. 39 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:20,742 A year of abstinence. 40 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,619 To reflect on our desires, 41 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371 refocus our energy... 42 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,081 to listen to our bodies. 43 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,292 I know but I won't last. 44 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,711 See? Contract terminated. 45 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,337 Just a random paper, but... 46 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,798 See the links I sent? 47 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:36,758 Yes... 48 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,845 - Yeah, right. - Did you see my app? 49 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,805 The stats and goals? 50 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,766 It converts intercourse into miles per hour. 51 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,103 We're doing 0.75 mph! 52 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,897 You're too genital. 53 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,649 "Genital" isn't a real word. 54 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,651 You should follow Ti-Kong's lead. 55 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,695 - What? - Yeah. 56 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,822 Do you hear yourself? 57 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,282 He soul-searched, 58 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,868 saw past his condition, 59 00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:04,995 and you talk about sex in mph. 60 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,206 It's hard for me too. 61 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,582 Sure it is. 62 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,376 It's an experiment we agreed on together! 63 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,795 I'm trying to rekindle the flame. 64 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,093 To each their own flame. It's simple. 65 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:24,223 Maybe, but I still feel useless and inadequate. 66 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,849 You're not useless! 67 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,976 You're a great dry cleaner. 68 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,187 Nobody irons like you. 69 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:34,816 You see... 70 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,693 that's what I need now: 71 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:39,530 clean kimonos for Sexkido class. 72 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,282 That's my jam. 73 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,410 Anyway... 74 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,539 - Shower time. - Can I come? 75 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,083 - I'll soap you. - No, thanks. 76 00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,175 Picture it: it's late and the guy's pushy. 77 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,803 He insists. We go for it. 78 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:06,515 Twist his arm. A kick or two in the stomach. 79 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,309 He wants your tits? He gets them. 80 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,477 Turn him round. 81 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,522 Light pressure. He can't move, if he does... 82 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,482 He's done. 83 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,278 Sexkido 84 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:23,031 channels your sexual energy all over the body. 85 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,534 If used well, it'll make you stronger 86 00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,160 and more resilient. 87 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,539 Its power is immense. 88 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,794 6 months of frustration, and it's getting worse. 89 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,296 Watching her exercise 90 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,257 has gone from desire to obsession. I'm fed up. 91 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,259 Dude, you're too genital. 92 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,970 Enough with that word! It's meaningless. 93 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,346 You're dick-centric. 94 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,515 Learn to sublimate. Rise above it. 95 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:52,436 You and your post-sex talk! So sex is dead? 96 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,563 What's the alternative? 97 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:55,856 Dunno. 98 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,775 Be less genital... 99 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,569 and more Zenithal. 100 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,447 That's what modern girls want. 101 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,073 Zenithal! 102 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,203 Less genital, maybe, but you never go out. 103 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,579 Took out the trash. 104 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,915 Did you call that girl? 105 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,166 No. 106 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:15,751 No, but actually... 107 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,211 I've been thinking. 108 00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:20,005 I'm looking for that little spark. 109 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,466 The delicate flicker of the candle. 110 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,134 You're clueless. 111 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,428 We all are, that's the problem. 112 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,181 New fabric softener? 113 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,558 - You said it made lint. - Never. 114 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,393 - Yes, you did. - You don't listen. 115 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,270 What's with you today? 116 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,813 You don't listen. 117 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,982 You've worked nonstop for 2 years. 118 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,400 It's oppressive. 119 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,402 I have to stay at the dry cleaner. 120 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,946 A seed... 121 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,405 takes patience. 122 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,615 I'm not your plant. 123 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,700 Knock-knock, guys. 124 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,078 Hey, Francis. Marcus. 125 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:52,704 Hi, Michel. 126 00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:54,915 - How've you been? - Great. 127 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,291 Francis, we're booked. 128 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,835 - Marcus! - Hello. 129 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:58,961 We can look. 130 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:03,340 I had an oil-change disaster. Look. 131 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:04,800 That's blood. 132 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:06,969 It's oil. 133 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,720 - Blood. - Smell it. 134 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,722 - Smells like blood. - It's oil! 135 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:11,974 It really soaked in. 136 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:15,060 If only you knew. Look at this. 137 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,062 Only you can help. 138 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,898 We're swamped... 139 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,234 But I can write a prescription. 140 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,443 No! 141 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,529 OK. 142 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:26,989 Fuck me! 143 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,741 Hey, chill. What's your deal? 144 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,910 One compliment, and you kiss his ass. 145 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,204 He's a regular. Just chill. 146 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,498 His stuff has clogged 2 machines! 147 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,750 You didn't check the pockets. 148 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,795 - It's blood. - Stop tripping. 149 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,798 Sorry, Michel. 150 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,175 Look... 151 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,551 It's real simple... 152 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,636 2 short cycles. 153 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,140 One at 90°F to protect the fibers. 154 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,224 90°F. 155 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,934 Spin at 600, max. 156 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:56,768 Understood. 157 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,270 Let sit 1 hour. 158 00:07:58,854 --> 00:07:59,771 One hour. 159 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,982 Then run a delicate at low temp. 160 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,526 - OK? - Right, low temp. 161 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,570 It'll be fine. 162 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:07,946 You're a poet. 163 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,615 Get lost! 164 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,700 - Marcus? - Sorry. 165 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,620 Spare me this guy with his fake oil. 166 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,455 Next time I'll call first. 167 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,956 It's blood! 168 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,792 Have you thought about my offer? 169 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,336 Yes, but... 170 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:23,837 Marcus is my partner. 171 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,132 So? You can be partners with Marcus and Michel. 172 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,842 - I know but... - Part time. 173 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:30,677 You can go back and forth. 174 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,970 We've been over this. 175 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,764 50 greasy mechanics. 176 00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,390 See these stains? 177 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,058 It's this times 100. 178 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,602 Yeah, because here... 179 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,357 it's a little cramped. 180 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,484 I have a washbasin from 1800. 181 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,069 The best year. 182 00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,570 You bet. 183 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,864 - Solid granite. - Right. 184 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,324 Picture it. 185 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,327 We could beat the laundry together. 186 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,622 - Come on. - I'm sorry but... 187 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:01,083 That's nice, but really... 188 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,046 Think about it. OK? 189 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,381 Here's my card. 190 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:13,804 I know what you did. 191 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,603 I know who you really are. 192 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,856 Anyway... 193 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,732 Bye, Marcus. 194 00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:28,151 Yeah, bye. 195 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,071 It's blood! 196 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,156 Bye-bye. 197 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,158 What a sketchball. 198 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,119 Hey! Give the card back. 199 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,371 Don't waste your talent. 200 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,915 Enough about my talent! 201 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:45,711 I wash and iron clothes. It's pathetic, actually. 202 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,797 We have no ambition. Look at this junk. 203 00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:50,132 It's a disgrace. 204 00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,884 How old are our machines? 205 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:53,594 We're losers. 206 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,724 We're at the end of our cycle. 207 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,737 STUBBORN STAIN? ASK FOR THE MOON 208 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:20,454 - A man at the dojo doesn't shock you? - Ti-Kong is different. 209 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:22,956 Well... 210 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,750 He's still a man. 211 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,169 Put your phones away, girls. 212 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,505 Sorry. I know he's very charismatic. 213 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,259 The reason I invited Ti-Kong here today... 214 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:40,265 is for the quality of his technique, but also... 215 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,642 for what it represents. 216 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,477 Stop it! 217 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,271 Huge penis, you say. 218 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:49,066 But remember, a dick of any size 219 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:51,902 weighs this much in the collective unconscious. 220 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,946 This is its place in the world. 221 00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,533 That's why we're at the dojo, 222 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,576 to learn self-defense, obviously, 223 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,079 but also to subvert symbols. 224 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:03,830 It's important. 225 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,044 It's soft. Velvet? 226 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,213 Shall we show them? 227 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,969 Sonia... 228 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:21,014 Sorry about yesterday. It was just hormones, now I'm better. 229 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:25,561 I've been thinking. I propose 2 more months... 230 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,105 Non-renewable. 231 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,320 Sonia, sorry about yesterday. 232 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,197 Block the phallic energy. 233 00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,199 Topple the symbol. 234 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,326 Now there's salami on the tatami. 235 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:42,870 You know the ground moves. 236 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,663 I can't cockblock my date. 237 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:47,749 No way... 238 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:48,917 Francis? 239 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,671 - What're you doing here? - Seriously? 240 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:54,464 What am I doing here? 241 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:56,967 Ti-Kong is a pro. 242 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:59,052 How long's this been going on? 243 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,015 Liars! Size doesn't matter? It clearly does. 244 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,559 He's uneasy. 245 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:07,477 Stay, it's fine. 246 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,022 Is this why we're abstinent? 247 00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,608 Look, now isn't the time. 248 00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:14,985 Abstinence, fine. But not this! 249 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,863 Shall I tell them about the two of you? 250 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:20,240 - There's nothing to tell. - Oh really? 251 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,034 There's nothing to tell. 252 00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:23,869 They called him Chinese Guillotine! 253 00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:26,038 Uncut erotic fight movies. 254 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,040 My video store carried them. 255 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,253 Shut the fuck up! 256 00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:37,257 You were busting jaws all day long! 257 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,926 And Sonia you dreamed 258 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,761 of getting dickslapped by Ti-Kong. 259 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,596 But I showed up 260 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,849 and dickslapped him before he could dickslap you. 261 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,684 What's "dickslap"? 262 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,938 May I? It's this... 263 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,398 To slap with the penis. 264 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,442 Shitty idea for a movie! 265 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,860 People find that funny? 266 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,820 Easy. It's very hard to do. 267 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:00,948 It takes mad skills. 268 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,866 Is it true? 269 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:03,992 Shoot! 270 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,911 They didn't know? 271 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,288 You have no proof. 272 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,124 I'll prove it right now. Hey, you! 273 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,376 Wait! 274 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,670 I dickslapped you once, I can do it again. 275 00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:16,380 It'll be educational. 276 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:18,590 Take off your underwear. 277 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,676 - Take notes. - Put your pants on! 278 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,011 Put them back on! 279 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,555 - Shall I do it? - No. 280 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,932 I'll dickprint your left cheek. 281 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:29,393 - I'll handprint your ass. - Cut it out! 282 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,936 I'll dickprint everyone! 283 00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,229 - What? - Calm down. 284 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,313 This is bad. 285 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,274 - What'd you say? - You heard me. 286 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,276 You're all undersexed losers! 287 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,695 I'm leaving you, Francis. 288 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:43,407 What? 289 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,118 It's over. 290 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,911 Finished. 291 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,831 - You sure? - Yes, I can't go on. 292 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,833 We've grown apart. 293 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,421 I'm the one leaving. 294 00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,866 That dickslap never happened. 295 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,827 You're ridiculous. You're lying to yourself. 296 00:14:58,190 --> 00:14:59,274 Hello, Francis? 297 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,526 Police, ma'am. 298 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,945 You the owner of White Crane Dojo? 299 00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:04,530 Yes. 300 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,202 Calm down. What happened exactly? 301 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,247 I came to get the kimonos. 302 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:18,043 I didn't understand at first. 303 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,171 Then I saw the blood. 304 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:25,467 How did you know the victim? 305 00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,972 He taught here yesterday. I left him the keys after class. 306 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,224 He liked to train in private. 307 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:33,976 OK. 308 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:36,562 I've never seen anything like this. 309 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,480 What happened, exactly? 310 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,774 The tip was severed. Clean cut. 311 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,695 Less than castration, more than circumcision. 312 00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:45,863 There's no word for it. 313 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,698 My team's looking for a term, 314 00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,491 we'll keep you posted. 315 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,661 "Dickapitated." 316 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,373 Dick as in Richard. 317 00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,879 - Did you find the tip? - Just up the street. 318 00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:03,672 Hollowed out. 319 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:05,465 Like a split watermelon. 320 00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:07,426 Horrible! 321 00:16:07,593 --> 00:16:09,344 - Sorry? - Yes, it's horrible. 322 00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:10,762 Just terrible. 323 00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:14,808 A dog dragged it 200 yards, 324 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,686 wire-haired dachshund left it in the street. 325 00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:20,314 Figured it was a hedgehog I ran over. 326 00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:22,191 That's no hedgehog. 327 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,985 Intern, ready for the reenactment? 328 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:26,695 Right... 329 00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,907 The fight probably began in the lockers, 330 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,159 before moving in here. 331 00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:33,076 Good, Intern. 332 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:34,912 C'mon guys! 333 00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,623 This is the second combat, 334 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,249 which led to dickapitation. 335 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:40,584 Focus, guys. 336 00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:42,961 All yours, Intern. 337 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,258 This is where it gets tricky. 338 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,968 At 10:34 pm, 339 00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,763 the attackers start playing dodgeball. 340 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,473 Though the impact pattern 341 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,517 is more reminiscent of tennis. 342 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,227 Or "pennis" in this case. 343 00:16:58,477 --> 00:16:59,811 Very similar rules. 344 00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:06,944 Yes, hello? 345 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,111 Yes. 346 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,405 No. 347 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:16,744 We did an MRI to get our money's worth, 348 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,455 and found nerve endings 349 00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:20,999 all down the shaft. 350 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,711 After further analysis, we found that the glans 351 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:25,963 contained a brain. 352 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,758 A brain in the dick? 353 00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:31,760 In the glans. 354 00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:34,847 Intern, help with the penis. 355 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,932 Of course. 356 00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,268 The work of a Frankenstein. 357 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,312 Unconventional, but very pro. 358 00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,857 If it had legs, it'd get an ID. 359 00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:48,652 - Know who did this? - No. 360 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,612 But we know whose brain it is. 361 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,866 DNA analysis traces it to the 70s. 362 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,909 The United States. Brian Sweeper. 363 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:59,538 A real slugger, if you catch my drift. 364 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:01,290 No, I don't. 365 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,959 - A slugger. Homeruns. - Baseball. 366 00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:05,711 The bat. 367 00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:08,130 - He'd hit... - Anyway, what else? 368 00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:11,341 Brian had a low center of gravity. 369 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,428 He held his bat at crotch level and swung with his pelvis. 370 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,638 Wait, you're saying 371 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:21,518 that Ti-Kong had a baseball star's brain in his penis? 372 00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:22,561 In his glans. 373 00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:25,189 And his assailants 374 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:28,317 removed the brain after dickapitating him? 375 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,611 "Organ" trafficking. 376 00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,447 How'd they... the brain? 377 00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:35,365 Like straining noodles. 378 00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,995 That's a lot of information. 379 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:44,124 This morning when I called, you mentioned a certain... 380 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,292 Francis. 381 00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:47,169 Stop right there! 382 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:50,005 Francis doesn't even know the rules of dodgeball. 383 00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,299 He's not involved in this. 384 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,426 Right, Sonia? 385 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,347 Nothing at all... 386 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:04,603 Alright guys, let's go! 387 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,983 Police! We're investigating the dickapitation of Ti-Kong! 388 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,193 Chief! 389 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,945 It's from the dry cleaner! 390 00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:21,828 Start filming, Intern. 391 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,122 I don't wanna get slapped with misconduct. 392 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,832 I don't have a camera. 393 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,961 Then draw! Bring me that sicko. 394 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,173 I didn't dickapitate anyone! 395 00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:35,926 Don't move! 396 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:37,302 I'm innocent! 397 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:39,763 We open at 10! 398 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:40,848 Stand firm! 399 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,307 They're gonna hurt him. 400 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:45,477 - They'll get him good. - You call this an arrest? 401 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,437 I'm afraid of a stray bullet! 402 00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:49,982 He didn't do it. 403 00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:52,276 Why'd you invite Ti-Kong? 404 00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:55,237 You gonna start too? It was 10 years ago. 405 00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:58,866 Francis is already tense. So you betray him and turn him in? 406 00:19:59,032 --> 00:19:59,867 I did not! 407 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:01,910 He's been trying. 408 00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:03,370 And I haven't been? 409 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:06,999 He brought up the dickslap again. It's ridiculous. 410 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,667 But it's true. 411 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:12,171 Were you there? No, you weren't. 412 00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:16,967 Did you call him after your fight? 413 00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:19,761 I dumped him, Marcus. 414 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,639 In front of everybody? 415 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,143 Yes. Some people were there. 416 00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:34,276 You don't air dirty laundry in public. 417 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,361 - C'mon! - Let go of me! 418 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,364 Approach and get ironed! 419 00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:45,579 I didn't kill anyone! 420 00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,751 Francis couldn't have done this. 421 00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:53,879 Sure, he's acting weird, but it's just insecurity. 422 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:57,382 Yesterday he washed delicates on the cotton setting. 423 00:20:57,549 --> 00:21:00,552 He has a rash, won't take his magnesium. 424 00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,682 You guys spend too much time together. 425 00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:07,768 He can be difficult but... 426 00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:09,478 with some special care, 427 00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:12,189 you realize he's a diamond in the rough. 428 00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:15,317 Your relationship works better than ours. 429 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,486 Nobody in the dryer. 430 00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:19,446 He went out the back. 431 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:21,949 I have to tell them they got it all wrong. 432 00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,201 Wait! 433 00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:25,994 She's escaping! 434 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,164 There you go. 435 00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:33,252 Look at these undies, how he respects the fabric! 436 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,503 He's innocent! 437 00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,697 How could you suspect him? 438 00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:03,031 Calm down, li'l lady. 439 00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:06,743 We'll nab him in 48 hours, dead or alive. 440 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,453 Alive, and I'm not your li'l lady. 441 00:22:09,246 --> 00:22:12,207 I meant no disrespect, but you are short. 442 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:14,668 Thanks. 443 00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:22,176 Pretty good. 444 00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:25,262 Meanwhile, put out an APB. 445 00:22:25,429 --> 00:22:28,015 Lest he takes scissors to a nudist beach. 446 00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:31,351 He hates nudism. And it wasn't him. 447 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,103 Barring new evidence, 448 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,897 he's our top suspect. 449 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,983 The first 24 hours are crucial. 450 00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:41,028 With a valid metrocard, he's in the burbs by now. 451 00:22:41,612 --> 00:22:43,572 You're wrong. It's really not him. 452 00:22:43,739 --> 00:22:47,618 I'll say it again. For now, he's suspect number... 453 00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,538 Meanwhile, stay in touch. 454 00:22:51,914 --> 00:22:54,374 OK? If ever he contacts you... 455 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,585 contact us. Got my contact? 456 00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,338 I'll contact you. Speak soon. 457 00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:05,385 Those idiots wrecked the place. 458 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:06,887 They have no respect. 459 00:23:07,054 --> 00:23:08,680 Francis is on the lam. 460 00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:09,640 Poor guy. 461 00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,476 We have to find the real culprit. 462 00:23:12,643 --> 00:23:14,770 If he misses his snack, he'll faint. 463 00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:16,396 We research Ti-Kong... 464 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:17,731 He forgot his phone! 465 00:23:17,898 --> 00:23:19,066 ...and find his enemies. 466 00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:20,567 He'll get lost. 467 00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,568 Where do we start? 468 00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,573 Follow me. 469 00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:36,166 TI-KONG'S MURDERER ON THE RUN 470 00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,742 There must be a clue here. 471 00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:12,536 You kept everything! 472 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:14,288 Those were happy times. 473 00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:17,958 And Francis' fights? 474 00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:20,085 Supposedly, there's a bootleg. 475 00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:23,505 Ti-Kong. 476 00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,012 GODZILLA VS. TI-KONG 477 00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,307 Feng Shui... 478 00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:36,768 Stay strong, Sonia. Block Ti-Kong! 479 00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,228 Close on her eyes. 480 00:24:38,937 --> 00:24:41,023 I want to see the fear 481 00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:42,608 on her sweaty face. 482 00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:44,693 No fooling around! Back up. 483 00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:46,361 Sonia, you're a grasshopper. 484 00:24:47,446 --> 00:24:49,239 Scratch him with your vag. 485 00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:52,659 What happened to that scammer? 486 00:25:14,473 --> 00:25:16,892 The end sucks. No worries, we'll cut. 487 00:25:17,059 --> 00:25:18,477 Show me, baby. 488 00:25:19,603 --> 00:25:20,354 No. 489 00:25:20,521 --> 00:25:21,480 Crap. 490 00:25:21,647 --> 00:25:22,314 Lame. 491 00:25:22,481 --> 00:25:24,358 Yes, great! Post it to TokTok. 492 00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:26,318 Hashtag boneless. 493 00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:29,488 I want 20k followers by noon. 494 00:25:30,531 --> 00:25:32,741 That is a surprise. 495 00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:34,493 We won't stay long. 496 00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:36,954 Didn't you bring Francis? 497 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,455 Whatcha been chopping? 498 00:25:38,622 --> 00:25:40,082 - Fish. - Penis fish? 499 00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:41,333 - Marcus. - It's real. 500 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,709 Seen Ti-Kong recently? 501 00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:46,630 I heard your video store went bust. 502 00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:48,006 Don't worry. 503 00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,633 We bounced back. 504 00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,218 Kept the trampoline? 505 00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:52,928 We donated it. 506 00:25:53,971 --> 00:25:56,223 - A pity. - Answer the question. 507 00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:58,350 Seen Ti-Kong? 508 00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:01,770 - Francis is in trouble. - I don't care! 509 00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:04,398 And Ti-Kong, who knows! 510 00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:07,442 He could be handing out flyers for the restaurant. 511 00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:09,820 - Cutting up fish. - He's dead. 512 00:26:12,698 --> 00:26:14,616 He was dickapitated. 513 00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:16,159 His head? 514 00:26:16,869 --> 00:26:17,911 The other head. 515 00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:20,330 His intestines! 516 00:26:20,998 --> 00:26:22,040 The other intestines. 517 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,131 Know his dick had a brain? 518 00:26:30,299 --> 00:26:32,634 - I knew it was special. - Is that all? 519 00:26:32,801 --> 00:26:34,469 - That's all. - Liar. 520 00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:35,304 You're lying. 521 00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:36,847 - What? - Liar. 522 00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:38,390 He's definitely lying. 523 00:26:39,308 --> 00:26:42,019 Baby! Do I know something? 524 00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:44,855 - OK, then. - He's clearly lying. 525 00:26:45,397 --> 00:26:48,108 How about a livestream for his followers? 526 00:26:48,275 --> 00:26:50,235 You wouldn't dare! 527 00:26:50,402 --> 00:26:52,779 Don't you ruin my business! 528 00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,823 Stay cool... 529 00:26:55,908 --> 00:26:58,118 They say I killed Ti-Kong. It's insane. 530 00:26:58,285 --> 00:27:00,537 Sonia snitched on me, but I'm innocent. 531 00:27:00,704 --> 00:27:02,122 She humiliated me in public, 532 00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:04,625 betrayed me in public, dumped me in public! 533 00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,376 That's a large public. 534 00:27:06,752 --> 00:27:09,087 I just wanted a little physical contact. 535 00:27:09,421 --> 00:27:11,006 Politely, too. 536 00:27:11,173 --> 00:27:13,884 They say sex is the cement of a relationship. 537 00:27:14,051 --> 00:27:15,302 It's the foundation. 538 00:27:15,469 --> 00:27:18,514 You don't build lasting love with pine and glue. 539 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,141 Do they say: "Sex is the pine of relationships"? 540 00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:22,559 At Christmas, maybe. 541 00:27:24,478 --> 00:27:26,772 Meanwhile, she's training with Ti-Kong. 542 00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:30,234 Seriously? They're all the same, buddy. 543 00:27:31,026 --> 00:27:33,612 - She says it's professional. - I doubt it. 544 00:27:34,613 --> 00:27:36,365 After all I've done for her? 545 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:38,951 We're there for them but they never are. 546 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:40,369 Is anyone there? 547 00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:43,080 - And here? - No. 548 00:27:43,247 --> 00:27:44,790 Feel around. 549 00:27:45,457 --> 00:27:47,543 - Who's there? - Nobody. 550 00:27:48,043 --> 00:27:49,837 Nobody. Who's here? 551 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,755 They're not here. 552 00:27:52,548 --> 00:27:54,091 Hey, where are you? 553 00:27:54,258 --> 00:27:56,301 They're not here. 554 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,929 From now on, 555 00:27:59,972 --> 00:28:01,473 there are two of us. 556 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,225 You'll never be alone again. 557 00:28:06,103 --> 00:28:09,982 It was a big mistake. She's totally out of my league. 558 00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:11,817 She's not that pretty. 559 00:28:12,025 --> 00:28:13,026 A year of celibacy! 560 00:28:13,193 --> 00:28:14,361 It's torture. 561 00:28:14,653 --> 00:28:17,406 - Might as well cut off my dick. - Sorry? 562 00:28:18,532 --> 00:28:20,075 Can you repeat that? 563 00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:22,619 Cut off my dick? 564 00:28:22,786 --> 00:28:24,538 Do you hear yourself? 565 00:28:25,163 --> 00:28:26,915 Are you bonkers? 566 00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,750 Don't say that, OK? 567 00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:30,794 Don't cut the branch you're sitting on. 568 00:28:33,797 --> 00:28:36,008 Or you fall. If you fall, you get hurt. 569 00:28:36,175 --> 00:28:37,968 And I won't always be there. 570 00:28:38,343 --> 00:28:41,430 Sorry. It's just an expression. 571 00:28:44,850 --> 00:28:47,978 I'm sorry. I don't like seeing you this way. 572 00:28:48,604 --> 00:28:49,813 Plus, we're the same. 573 00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:52,149 I can't repair things. 574 00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:54,109 I can't do laundry. 575 00:28:55,277 --> 00:28:57,821 The cops are after me. What should I do? 576 00:28:57,988 --> 00:28:59,489 You know... 577 00:28:59,656 --> 00:29:02,409 I've got a hiding place till it blows over. 578 00:29:03,452 --> 00:29:06,830 - I feel weird. - No, you can do the laundry. 579 00:29:07,372 --> 00:29:09,041 C'mon, say yes? 580 00:29:09,208 --> 00:29:10,167 "Yes." 581 00:29:12,336 --> 00:29:13,545 Go on... 582 00:29:18,050 --> 00:29:20,093 It fell. What a bummer! 583 00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:21,762 - No big deal. - Wait! 584 00:29:21,929 --> 00:29:24,181 Just return it to the plate. 585 00:29:24,348 --> 00:29:25,974 You're losing followers! 586 00:29:28,435 --> 00:29:31,647 I found him in a forest. He was starving. 587 00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:34,566 He was dickslapping fruit out of trees. 588 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,735 - What fruit? - What forest? 589 00:29:36,902 --> 00:29:38,779 - I forget. - Can't remember? 590 00:29:39,655 --> 00:29:40,864 Stop! 591 00:29:41,156 --> 00:29:42,783 He'll kill me if I blab. 592 00:29:45,202 --> 00:29:47,037 - Stop it! - Who did it? 593 00:29:47,496 --> 00:29:48,997 Stop, for God's sake! 594 00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:50,582 Nobody knows his name. 595 00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:53,210 He's called Mad Surgeon. 596 00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:56,588 His license was revoked for carving up his patients. 597 00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:57,881 You're not Brazilian! 598 00:30:00,676 --> 00:30:02,719 He created Ti-Kong. 599 00:30:03,136 --> 00:30:04,805 He grafts the mouths of snitches. 600 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:11,603 He's a monster who creates monsters. 601 00:30:12,229 --> 00:30:16,066 A sort of mechanic of the human body. 602 00:30:17,150 --> 00:30:18,485 A mechanic? 603 00:30:34,168 --> 00:30:35,711 Hi guys. 604 00:30:39,089 --> 00:30:40,674 Michel, where are we? 605 00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:42,634 Home, Francis. 606 00:30:43,594 --> 00:30:44,887 Come. 607 00:30:55,439 --> 00:30:57,191 Want me to bump myself? 608 00:30:59,067 --> 00:31:00,569 The cable, please. 609 00:31:02,988 --> 00:31:04,323 Look at this. 610 00:31:05,866 --> 00:31:07,159 But how did you... 611 00:31:07,409 --> 00:31:08,911 Why do you have the trampoline? 612 00:31:09,077 --> 00:31:11,413 Your penis is foundational. 613 00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:15,334 I loved you... 614 00:31:15,501 --> 00:31:16,627 I love you... 615 00:31:16,793 --> 00:31:18,045 I will love you. 616 00:31:21,006 --> 00:31:22,090 Look at that. 617 00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:24,468 Those fiery eyes. 618 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,303 Why am I in the photo? 619 00:31:26,887 --> 00:31:27,971 C'mon. That's nothing. 620 00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:30,933 I am the shepherd, you are the members. 621 00:31:34,228 --> 00:31:36,939 To carry your balls is to carry the world. 622 00:31:37,439 --> 00:31:38,565 War council, girls. 623 00:31:40,776 --> 00:31:42,569 Meet me at the dojo. 624 00:31:42,903 --> 00:31:43,987 On the double. 625 00:31:44,613 --> 00:31:46,406 We need you! Thanks. 626 00:32:39,251 --> 00:32:41,295 - I knew it. It was filmed? - Yes. 627 00:32:41,879 --> 00:32:43,422 It's the only copy. 628 00:32:44,256 --> 00:32:45,174 Here. 629 00:32:46,550 --> 00:32:48,677 We do this every Thursday. Right, guys? 630 00:32:56,143 --> 00:32:57,144 Francis! 631 00:33:16,038 --> 00:33:17,164 Go, Francis! 632 00:33:45,901 --> 00:33:48,487 Dickslap him! 633 00:34:00,082 --> 00:34:02,125 It's the most beautiful fight ever. 634 00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:06,004 Thanks, Michel. 635 00:34:22,896 --> 00:34:25,899 I went in knowing I'd get my ass kicked. 636 00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:28,985 You won that fight. You're the new Ti-Kong. 637 00:34:29,152 --> 00:34:31,697 She said I was lying, but she was there! 638 00:34:31,864 --> 00:34:34,283 She's the liar! 639 00:34:35,284 --> 00:34:37,369 - Liar! - Bullshit. 640 00:34:37,744 --> 00:34:39,036 She says... no sex. 641 00:34:39,204 --> 00:34:40,621 I don't... understand her. 642 00:34:40,789 --> 00:34:41,706 I'm too... gentle? 643 00:34:41,873 --> 00:34:42,958 Genital. 644 00:34:43,125 --> 00:34:44,751 It's OK to be genital. 645 00:34:44,918 --> 00:34:47,795 It's gotten too hard... to be a man. 646 00:34:50,465 --> 00:34:51,632 I know. 647 00:34:57,931 --> 00:34:59,474 You're no mechanic, Michel. 648 00:35:00,517 --> 00:35:02,644 I'm a mechanic of life, Francis. 649 00:35:03,228 --> 00:35:04,229 Glasses. 650 00:35:04,855 --> 00:35:05,981 Glasses. 651 00:35:06,690 --> 00:35:08,025 Call me Sweeper. 652 00:35:08,942 --> 00:35:10,235 Dr. Sweeper. 653 00:35:13,363 --> 00:35:14,448 Doctor? 654 00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:16,992 Such sweet guys. 655 00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:18,577 They adore you. 656 00:35:19,745 --> 00:35:22,497 I envision a world led by a new man... 657 00:35:22,831 --> 00:35:24,750 and you're that man. 658 00:35:24,917 --> 00:35:26,293 What do you need cleaned? 659 00:35:26,752 --> 00:35:29,171 Know how women have a menstrual cycle? 660 00:35:29,755 --> 00:35:30,964 Like... their period? 661 00:35:31,423 --> 00:35:32,466 Their period. 662 00:35:34,468 --> 00:35:36,845 Ovulation, luteal phase, mood swings, 663 00:35:37,012 --> 00:35:39,264 hysteria, depression, abstinence... 664 00:35:39,431 --> 00:35:40,933 The nightmare men endure. 665 00:35:42,392 --> 00:35:44,269 Could we see the washbasin? 666 00:35:45,103 --> 00:35:46,355 We will. 667 00:35:47,272 --> 00:35:49,650 First let's shed this burden 668 00:35:50,275 --> 00:35:52,194 and end the menstrual cycle. 669 00:35:53,070 --> 00:35:54,363 Is that legal? 670 00:35:56,281 --> 00:35:57,908 Infuriating is what it is. 671 00:35:58,492 --> 00:36:00,160 Something's always wrong. 672 00:36:01,161 --> 00:36:02,621 Can't make up her mind! 673 00:36:03,330 --> 00:36:04,498 It's OK. 674 00:36:04,790 --> 00:36:06,124 I've found the cure. 675 00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:08,502 The moon controls their cycle. 676 00:36:09,211 --> 00:36:11,463 I thought that was bogus. 677 00:36:12,130 --> 00:36:13,465 It's in Popular Science. 678 00:36:14,550 --> 00:36:16,009 We'll destroy the moon. 679 00:36:17,094 --> 00:36:19,054 Turn them into docile, 680 00:36:19,221 --> 00:36:20,764 obedient creatures. 681 00:36:21,473 --> 00:36:23,100 We'll cleanse, Francis. 682 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,935 Cleanse with blood. 683 00:36:26,812 --> 00:36:28,981 I prefer all-natural soaps. 684 00:36:30,357 --> 00:36:33,026 Maybe we should see the machines... 685 00:36:33,193 --> 00:36:34,653 We will. 686 00:36:34,987 --> 00:36:36,196 No problem. 687 00:36:57,050 --> 00:36:58,343 What's going on? 688 00:37:06,602 --> 00:37:07,728 This brain 689 00:37:07,895 --> 00:37:10,397 belongs to the original dickslapper. 690 00:37:10,564 --> 00:37:12,191 The legacy of dear Dad. 691 00:37:12,983 --> 00:37:14,234 Your dad? 692 00:37:15,235 --> 00:37:18,530 Ti-Kong was no longer worthy. It's yours now. 693 00:37:19,865 --> 00:37:21,658 It wasn't a birth defect? 694 00:37:21,992 --> 00:37:23,869 First 40-pound penis transplant. 695 00:37:25,037 --> 00:37:26,288 But Michel? 696 00:37:26,914 --> 00:37:28,290 You killed Ti-Kong? 697 00:37:28,457 --> 00:37:30,250 It's a passing of the torch. 698 00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:32,503 I know you want it. 699 00:37:32,961 --> 00:37:36,173 That's sweet, but mine's a lot to carry as it is. 700 00:37:39,426 --> 00:37:42,054 I need to talk to Sonia. I don't feel good. 701 00:37:42,221 --> 00:37:44,348 I fucked up. I have to apologize. 702 00:37:44,515 --> 00:37:46,433 We had a nice time together. 703 00:37:46,725 --> 00:37:48,894 Shooting pool was fun, but... 704 00:37:49,061 --> 00:37:50,896 You decided to stay. 705 00:37:51,271 --> 00:37:53,649 Yes, but the answer's no. 706 00:37:53,815 --> 00:37:55,776 Some no's are yes's. 707 00:37:55,943 --> 00:37:57,402 This is a no no. 708 00:37:57,569 --> 00:37:58,820 Yes, yes. 709 00:37:59,821 --> 00:38:00,948 Hold this. 710 00:38:01,448 --> 00:38:03,367 - All finished. - What've you done? 711 00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:05,452 You'll have 1,000 Sonias. 712 00:38:05,619 --> 00:38:07,120 There's only one for me. 713 00:38:18,632 --> 00:38:20,884 Thanks for showing up. 714 00:38:21,051 --> 00:38:22,719 First, I owe you the truth. 715 00:38:23,554 --> 00:38:25,347 I was into dickslapping. 716 00:38:25,514 --> 00:38:29,476 And I idolized Ti-Kong long before he was respectable. 717 00:38:29,643 --> 00:38:30,936 No kink shaming. 718 00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:33,438 I shot with him once, 719 00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:36,567 and realized it was a little more than shiatsu. 720 00:38:36,859 --> 00:38:38,819 Did Francis really fight him? 721 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,071 He kicked his ass. 722 00:38:41,738 --> 00:38:42,865 Go, Francis! 723 00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:44,700 Our target 724 00:38:46,034 --> 00:38:47,202 is this guy. 725 00:38:47,578 --> 00:38:50,205 A customer who's really a mad surgeon. 726 00:38:50,372 --> 00:38:51,415 He looks sweet. 727 00:38:52,082 --> 00:38:52,875 Bad drawing. 728 00:38:56,461 --> 00:38:58,046 He grafted Ti-Kong. 729 00:38:58,922 --> 00:39:00,132 I think he killed him, 730 00:39:00,299 --> 00:39:01,884 and then framed Francis. 731 00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:04,678 To locate Francis, we'll hack his running app. 732 00:39:05,262 --> 00:39:06,054 He jogs? 733 00:39:06,430 --> 00:39:09,141 No. It measures sex speed in mph. 734 00:39:09,975 --> 00:39:11,894 Diverting the signal to his implant 735 00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:13,478 may give us his location. 736 00:39:13,979 --> 00:39:15,230 His implant? 737 00:39:15,606 --> 00:39:17,733 His contraceptive implant. 738 00:39:18,192 --> 00:39:19,860 His contraceptive implant? 739 00:39:20,027 --> 00:39:21,069 Aren't you abstinent? 740 00:39:21,236 --> 00:39:23,363 He's part of a test group. 741 00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:25,449 They're collecting data. 742 00:39:25,616 --> 00:39:27,492 He wanted to spare me the pill. 743 00:39:29,369 --> 00:39:30,787 Bless you. 744 00:39:31,038 --> 00:39:32,831 He never said... 745 00:39:32,998 --> 00:39:34,333 It's hardly heroic. 746 00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:36,960 Few guys I know would do that. 747 00:39:37,294 --> 00:39:39,630 - I don't know one. - I never will. 748 00:39:42,841 --> 00:39:44,718 I'm connecting to his account. 749 00:39:47,095 --> 00:39:48,514 You know his password? 750 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,057 It's been 10 years. 751 00:39:51,892 --> 00:39:53,644 "Pookie" is so infantilizing. 752 00:39:54,061 --> 00:39:55,145 Thank you! 753 00:40:02,236 --> 00:40:03,529 Did the bypasses take? 754 00:40:03,695 --> 00:40:05,447 The spongy tissue is responding well. 755 00:40:05,614 --> 00:40:06,657 Great! 756 00:40:07,157 --> 00:40:11,036 Leave him under anesthesia till the root sets. 757 00:40:14,873 --> 00:40:15,916 Estimate? 758 00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:18,085 Theoretical length is 3 ft 2 in. 759 00:40:19,086 --> 00:40:20,337 That's right, boys! 760 00:40:20,504 --> 00:40:22,464 An inch more than last time. 761 00:40:22,631 --> 00:40:24,132 New record. Great work! 762 00:40:24,299 --> 00:40:25,342 Superb! 763 00:40:25,968 --> 00:40:27,803 Thanks, Francis, and bravo. 764 00:40:32,099 --> 00:40:32,850 What? 765 00:40:33,016 --> 00:40:35,185 78 mph. What is this score? 766 00:40:35,352 --> 00:40:37,479 It's a bug. Imagine the thrusts. 767 00:40:37,646 --> 00:40:39,064 Or he found someone. 768 00:40:39,231 --> 00:40:40,858 More like a small team. 769 00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:42,067 Sorry. 770 00:40:42,234 --> 00:40:44,945 The app points to Oak Observatory. 771 00:40:45,654 --> 00:40:48,031 Built in 1857. Damaged in the war. 772 00:40:48,740 --> 00:40:49,783 Current owner: 773 00:40:50,158 --> 00:40:51,034 Unknown. 774 00:40:52,077 --> 00:40:53,287 We shot every angle. 775 00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:54,955 Scoped it out good. 776 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:03,922 Get down! 777 00:41:04,089 --> 00:41:06,508 It's well-guarded for a ruin. 778 00:41:06,758 --> 00:41:08,385 6 ft minimum. 779 00:41:08,552 --> 00:41:10,637 Strong arms. Bubble butts. 780 00:41:10,804 --> 00:41:12,014 A lot of them. 781 00:41:12,181 --> 00:41:13,432 There are pecs. 782 00:41:13,599 --> 00:41:16,101 Their hands have experience 783 00:41:16,435 --> 00:41:17,895 groping breasts and butts. 784 00:41:19,313 --> 00:41:21,481 It's a prison with only 2 ways in. 785 00:41:21,648 --> 00:41:22,900 Front and back. 786 00:41:24,276 --> 00:41:26,403 These are clearer. I zoomed in. 787 00:41:26,570 --> 00:41:28,405 He's a hottie. 788 00:41:28,572 --> 00:41:29,531 Yeah. 789 00:41:29,698 --> 00:41:30,908 Ninon, you go first. 790 00:41:31,074 --> 00:41:32,409 Operation diversion. 791 00:41:32,659 --> 00:41:33,827 Got it. 792 00:41:41,502 --> 00:41:42,753 Marion, you go first. 793 00:41:44,546 --> 00:41:46,965 Where's Francis, scumbag? 794 00:41:49,092 --> 00:41:51,678 Still got the laundry van, Marcus? 795 00:41:56,725 --> 00:41:57,601 Yes. 796 00:41:57,768 --> 00:41:59,728 - We'll fake... - Perfect. 797 00:41:59,895 --> 00:42:01,772 - ...a delivery. - Too bad. 798 00:42:02,481 --> 00:42:04,858 Wassup, guys? Laundry's here. 799 00:42:06,109 --> 00:42:07,277 But where are we? 800 00:42:13,992 --> 00:42:15,619 Van's too small. Won't work. 801 00:42:16,328 --> 00:42:18,372 Marcus, go in solo. 802 00:42:18,539 --> 00:42:20,999 Take the hall, scope it out, half-turn. 803 00:42:21,542 --> 00:42:24,628 Toss the laundry. You run and then... 804 00:42:32,469 --> 00:42:33,720 You never know. 805 00:42:34,471 --> 00:42:35,305 Let's do this. 806 00:42:42,229 --> 00:42:43,230 Down here! 807 00:42:46,817 --> 00:42:49,778 - Is 62 calls harassment? - Well, no. 808 00:42:50,237 --> 00:42:52,322 At the end of the tunnel is... 809 00:42:52,489 --> 00:42:54,783 sex, sex, sex... 810 00:43:06,795 --> 00:43:08,255 The old brain is resisting. 811 00:43:08,589 --> 00:43:09,673 Normal. 812 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:10,966 - Cardio? - Check. 813 00:43:12,301 --> 00:43:14,052 - Blood flow? - Check. 814 00:43:14,386 --> 00:43:16,013 Brace operational. 815 00:43:17,055 --> 00:43:19,933 Drainage in 3, 2, 1... 816 00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:21,310 Draining. 817 00:43:40,913 --> 00:43:42,122 Sonia? 818 00:43:42,664 --> 00:43:44,082 Where are we? 819 00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:46,210 The recovery room. 820 00:43:47,503 --> 00:43:49,296 It's me, everything is fine. 821 00:43:49,463 --> 00:43:50,422 Pardon me. 822 00:44:00,933 --> 00:44:03,227 Sorry! It wasn't me! 823 00:44:03,936 --> 00:44:06,230 Down, boy! 824 00:44:06,897 --> 00:44:09,399 It's a reflex. Everything is fine. 825 00:44:09,566 --> 00:44:11,485 What've you done, Michel! 826 00:44:11,652 --> 00:44:14,404 Relax. It's there to make you stronger. 827 00:44:15,906 --> 00:44:18,617 I don't care! I want to see Sonia! 828 00:44:18,784 --> 00:44:22,329 Fusion will soon be complete. I'm proud of you! 829 00:44:22,871 --> 00:44:23,872 Excuse me. Sorry! 830 00:44:24,039 --> 00:44:25,958 Give him another magnesium. 831 00:44:31,755 --> 00:44:33,215 What the hell is this? 832 00:44:35,968 --> 00:44:37,970 Why's there a picture of Francis? 833 00:44:39,304 --> 00:44:40,389 What are they doing? 834 00:44:42,850 --> 00:44:44,268 Dick tag. 835 00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:46,103 They're so accurate. 836 00:44:46,687 --> 00:44:47,938 Look at that one! 837 00:44:54,319 --> 00:44:55,654 The violence of it! 838 00:44:56,822 --> 00:44:59,366 - See Francis? - No, there's too many of them. 839 00:45:01,326 --> 00:45:03,370 That's him! That's Michel! 840 00:45:03,829 --> 00:45:05,038 From the dry cleaner! 841 00:45:05,205 --> 00:45:07,541 Gentlemen, gather round. 842 00:45:11,753 --> 00:45:13,005 Brothers, 843 00:45:13,172 --> 00:45:15,048 the brain has joined its host 844 00:45:15,257 --> 00:45:16,550 and thanks to you, 845 00:45:16,758 --> 00:45:18,468 the Totem is now erect. 846 00:45:21,054 --> 00:45:22,848 What'd we get ourselves into? 847 00:45:25,601 --> 00:45:26,602 Yes! 848 00:45:27,186 --> 00:45:28,312 That's right! 849 00:45:31,940 --> 00:45:33,233 Well done! 850 00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:34,610 Well done, guys! 851 00:45:37,905 --> 00:45:39,448 Well done, brothers! 852 00:45:43,076 --> 00:45:44,995 Looking at you, what do I see? 853 00:45:46,830 --> 00:45:47,998 I see love. 854 00:45:49,583 --> 00:45:51,335 Fuck, do I see love! 855 00:45:51,793 --> 00:45:53,587 Overflowing love. 856 00:45:55,506 --> 00:45:57,925 It's here, dripping. 857 00:45:58,091 --> 00:46:00,594 It's all over, we're knee-deep in it. 858 00:46:00,761 --> 00:46:02,804 And nobody wants this love. 859 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,141 They'll finally pay 860 00:46:07,267 --> 00:46:09,978 for all their sneering looks. 861 00:46:11,230 --> 00:46:13,982 For leaving us hanging on the dance floor. 862 00:46:14,566 --> 00:46:16,818 For the late-night texts: 863 00:46:17,277 --> 00:46:19,696 actually they can't come by. 864 00:46:20,322 --> 00:46:23,367 Last-minute work meeting? 865 00:46:23,534 --> 00:46:26,119 Couldn't she have given a heads-up? 866 00:46:26,286 --> 00:46:28,413 What's it cost to send a text? 867 00:46:28,956 --> 00:46:30,749 What's it cost? 868 00:46:30,916 --> 00:46:32,084 Nothing! 869 00:46:33,418 --> 00:46:34,753 Nothing. 870 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,296 This isn't 2002. 871 00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:39,174 Plans are unlimited now, brothers. 872 00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:41,176 Unlimited! 873 00:46:46,890 --> 00:46:48,600 They'll pay. 874 00:46:50,811 --> 00:46:54,439 Was it a crime to say I had experience? 875 00:46:54,690 --> 00:46:56,358 Couldn't she understand? 876 00:46:56,525 --> 00:46:58,944 Couldn't she see I was lying? 877 00:47:00,863 --> 00:47:02,823 She ripped off my boxers... 878 00:47:03,615 --> 00:47:05,993 Is modesty a crime? 879 00:47:06,577 --> 00:47:07,953 Well, is it? 880 00:47:09,955 --> 00:47:11,415 Want to handcuff me? 881 00:47:13,125 --> 00:47:15,210 I'm breaking out of my chains! 882 00:47:16,086 --> 00:47:17,379 Yes! 883 00:47:25,762 --> 00:47:27,598 Know who I had for bio? 884 00:47:28,223 --> 00:47:29,641 Mrs. Bouffard. 885 00:47:34,771 --> 00:47:37,149 She used fruit to demonstrate love. 886 00:47:38,358 --> 00:47:40,861 Talk about lame teaching! 887 00:47:41,028 --> 00:47:42,237 Lame! 888 00:47:42,404 --> 00:47:44,198 And it's inconsiderate. 889 00:47:44,573 --> 00:47:47,409 A banana is huge! 890 00:47:48,202 --> 00:47:50,537 A banana is fucking huge! 891 00:47:50,996 --> 00:47:54,416 Don't they realize it damages our ego? 892 00:47:54,583 --> 00:47:59,046 Don't they realize it can destroy a man? 893 00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:00,797 Bad banana! 894 00:48:00,964 --> 00:48:02,799 Bad banana! 895 00:48:02,966 --> 00:48:04,885 Bad banana! 896 00:48:07,012 --> 00:48:09,473 Perhaps a small banana... 897 00:48:09,681 --> 00:48:11,016 and even then! 898 00:48:11,183 --> 00:48:13,727 Why resort to fruit, damn it? 899 00:48:15,103 --> 00:48:17,147 What's average? Not that. 900 00:48:17,314 --> 00:48:19,441 A banana is above average, 901 00:48:19,608 --> 00:48:22,528 what's the point? It's inhumane. 902 00:48:23,570 --> 00:48:26,573 Oh, size doesn't matter? My ass! 903 00:48:26,990 --> 00:48:30,035 My ass it doesn't! They're lying to us. 904 00:48:30,202 --> 00:48:32,162 Liars! 905 00:48:32,329 --> 00:48:33,622 Liars! 906 00:48:34,456 --> 00:48:36,291 Hush! 907 00:48:38,418 --> 00:48:41,505 They'll pay, brothers. They'll pay. 908 00:48:41,922 --> 00:48:44,716 I'm telling you, hold onto this... 909 00:48:45,217 --> 00:48:46,760 To your little heart. 910 00:48:47,386 --> 00:48:49,388 Your bruised heart. 911 00:48:50,222 --> 00:48:51,473 Rip it out. 912 00:48:54,643 --> 00:48:57,688 And drop it onto the Totem Pole of redemption. 913 00:49:00,816 --> 00:49:01,984 Whiteboard. 914 00:49:06,738 --> 00:49:08,156 What are you doing? 915 00:49:09,449 --> 00:49:11,618 Think I can peek over it 916 00:49:11,785 --> 00:49:13,579 without seeing my own notes. 917 00:49:14,580 --> 00:49:15,706 He's a sicko. 918 00:49:15,873 --> 00:49:17,583 I'll explain how it works. 919 00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:22,462 Look at these complex diagrams. 920 00:49:23,255 --> 00:49:25,507 Picture the totem-bearer 921 00:49:25,674 --> 00:49:27,801 striking the strength tester... 922 00:49:27,968 --> 00:49:28,677 What is that? 923 00:49:28,844 --> 00:49:31,305 ...and tripping the space laser. 924 00:49:31,805 --> 00:49:32,973 A sex toy? 925 00:49:34,016 --> 00:49:35,642 No, a carnival attraction. 926 00:49:36,185 --> 00:49:37,311 This new world... 927 00:49:37,477 --> 00:49:40,063 Hit it hard enough and you ring the bell. 928 00:49:40,564 --> 00:49:42,065 ...rises before us... 929 00:49:42,482 --> 00:49:45,068 It looks like a cannon to me. 930 00:49:45,235 --> 00:49:47,029 ...realizing all our dreams. 931 00:49:47,196 --> 00:49:48,197 Love! 932 00:49:48,864 --> 00:49:50,240 And sex. 933 00:49:54,912 --> 00:49:56,121 I love you. 934 00:49:56,705 --> 00:49:58,415 We love you too. 935 00:50:01,376 --> 00:50:02,544 You didn't say it. 936 00:50:03,962 --> 00:50:05,130 I love you. 937 00:50:06,006 --> 00:50:06,965 Didn't hear you. 938 00:50:07,841 --> 00:50:09,051 I love you. 939 00:50:10,260 --> 00:50:10,928 Again. 940 00:50:16,558 --> 00:50:17,726 So do I. 941 00:50:18,894 --> 00:50:20,646 Here's the plan. We strike here. 942 00:50:22,314 --> 00:50:23,565 And here. 943 00:50:24,525 --> 00:50:28,153 And here I promise a hormonal storm 944 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,031 that will make even the most rebellious women 945 00:50:31,657 --> 00:50:33,534 far less rebellious. 946 00:50:37,788 --> 00:50:39,164 Places for the ritual. 947 00:50:40,832 --> 00:50:43,460 The Totem requires your attention. 948 00:50:43,627 --> 00:50:45,462 Renewal approaches. 949 00:50:47,798 --> 00:50:50,509 - They're gonna dickslap the moon! - No! 950 00:50:50,676 --> 00:50:52,678 Yes! Marcus is right. 951 00:50:52,845 --> 00:50:55,347 It's a canon. They're gonna dickslap the moon. 952 00:50:55,514 --> 00:50:56,807 It'll disrupt our cycles. 953 00:50:57,307 --> 00:50:58,600 Our uteruses will explode! 954 00:50:58,767 --> 00:51:00,686 There'll be a tampon shortage. 955 00:51:01,812 --> 00:51:04,064 Nobody's sure the moon acts on periods. 956 00:51:04,231 --> 00:51:05,983 97%. 957 00:51:06,316 --> 00:51:07,234 Says who? 958 00:51:07,901 --> 00:51:09,319 I won't tell you. 959 00:51:09,486 --> 00:51:10,863 - Cosmo. - Shit. 960 00:51:11,947 --> 00:51:13,866 97% isn't 100. 961 00:51:14,157 --> 00:51:15,325 We're gonna die. 962 00:51:15,492 --> 00:51:16,451 No, we won't. 963 00:51:17,953 --> 00:51:19,788 Get that cannon unplugged, 964 00:51:20,122 --> 00:51:22,165 and I'll find Francis. 965 00:51:24,126 --> 00:51:25,294 Good luck. 966 00:51:26,837 --> 00:51:28,839 - Go on, Marcus. - I'm going. 967 00:51:29,590 --> 00:51:30,632 Go on. 968 00:51:30,799 --> 00:51:32,009 I'm going. 969 00:51:32,968 --> 00:51:34,511 - Then go! - I'll go. 970 00:51:40,726 --> 00:51:42,519 This is not a drill! 971 00:51:42,686 --> 00:51:43,854 Come on! 972 00:51:51,195 --> 00:51:52,779 You're not the boss of me! 973 00:51:54,031 --> 00:51:55,282 Fuck! 974 00:51:56,825 --> 00:51:58,619 You're not the boss of me! 975 00:52:00,704 --> 00:52:01,914 I've come for you! 976 00:52:02,706 --> 00:52:05,292 Sonia! No, don't look! It's nothing. 977 00:52:06,043 --> 00:52:07,169 What is that? 978 00:52:07,336 --> 00:52:08,837 It's not what you think. 979 00:52:09,671 --> 00:52:11,715 A giant cock in armor? 980 00:52:11,882 --> 00:52:13,383 OK, it is what you think... 981 00:52:15,886 --> 00:52:18,597 I just wanted a sexless year. Your penis was fine. 982 00:52:19,431 --> 00:52:20,974 Blame Michel Sweeper! 983 00:52:21,141 --> 00:52:22,893 Sure, your pal's fault. 984 00:52:24,144 --> 00:52:25,521 It has a life of its own! 985 00:52:28,607 --> 00:52:30,275 It's trying to talk to me. 986 00:52:31,860 --> 00:52:33,111 It's the brain. 987 00:52:33,487 --> 00:52:34,613 Fuck! 988 00:52:35,155 --> 00:52:36,323 The brain. 989 00:52:37,199 --> 00:52:40,744 Michel's dead dad's brain is in the cock stuck to me. 990 00:52:41,245 --> 00:52:42,746 We'll remove it, but how? 991 00:52:43,539 --> 00:52:44,748 This can't be! 992 00:52:49,878 --> 00:52:51,088 How's it attached? 993 00:52:51,255 --> 00:52:52,756 It wants to go to the moon. 994 00:52:52,923 --> 00:52:54,383 Don't listen to it! 995 00:52:54,716 --> 00:52:56,051 I want to hug you. 996 00:52:56,385 --> 00:52:58,554 - But it might be a trap. - Probably. 997 00:53:02,307 --> 00:53:03,642 Stop it! 998 00:53:06,854 --> 00:53:08,105 Sorry! 999 00:53:09,606 --> 00:53:10,524 It's OK. 1000 00:53:10,691 --> 00:53:12,401 It's getting hard again! 1001 00:53:14,945 --> 00:53:15,988 We'll tie it up. 1002 00:53:20,158 --> 00:53:21,201 Shoot! 1003 00:53:22,035 --> 00:53:23,078 Stop! 1004 00:53:23,829 --> 00:53:25,873 - What are you doing? - It's not me! 1005 00:53:26,164 --> 00:53:27,249 I'm sorry! 1006 00:53:38,093 --> 00:53:40,012 It's taking over your body. 1007 00:53:46,185 --> 00:53:48,645 That must be the off switch. 1008 00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:50,439 I'm not feeling it. 1009 00:53:50,606 --> 00:53:51,732 3 vs. 5 is doable. 1010 00:53:52,274 --> 00:53:53,984 I only see 2 of you. 1011 00:53:54,693 --> 00:53:56,904 We'll run at them screaming. 1012 00:53:58,280 --> 00:53:59,364 On three... 1013 00:54:07,623 --> 00:54:10,167 Nothing personal, but we have a button to push. 1014 00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:11,668 And it is kinda personal. 1015 00:54:23,430 --> 00:54:25,224 It feels like a huge cramp. 1016 00:54:25,390 --> 00:54:27,100 - It's not a muscle. - What then? 1017 00:54:27,267 --> 00:54:28,644 Tighten your pelvic floor! 1018 00:54:30,187 --> 00:54:32,606 - What's that? - I've explained 100 times. 1019 00:54:32,773 --> 00:54:35,734 Don't lose control like Ti-Kong did a decade ago. 1020 00:54:36,026 --> 00:54:37,277 You want that? 1021 00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,408 No, I want to spank you with a ping-pong racket. 1022 00:54:44,243 --> 00:54:45,619 Huh? No! 1023 00:54:45,786 --> 00:54:46,870 It took back control. 1024 00:54:47,037 --> 00:54:49,456 This is crazy. I swear it's not me. 1025 00:54:49,623 --> 00:54:51,124 Homerun! 1026 00:54:52,042 --> 00:54:52,709 What? 1027 00:54:54,753 --> 00:54:56,088 I dickslap you! 1028 00:54:56,547 --> 00:54:58,799 - Here titty-titties! - Crude. 1029 00:55:02,427 --> 00:55:03,887 Behind you! 1030 00:55:10,894 --> 00:55:13,063 Beautiful! Very impressive! 1031 00:55:14,523 --> 00:55:15,482 Gently stroke it. 1032 00:55:17,609 --> 00:55:19,403 I'll catch it off guard. 1033 00:55:20,487 --> 00:55:21,613 It's cold. 1034 00:55:33,584 --> 00:55:36,086 Marcus, you're useless! Get the van! 1035 00:55:36,253 --> 00:55:37,254 OK. 1036 00:55:44,845 --> 00:55:46,930 I wanted to say I'm sorry. 1037 00:55:47,097 --> 00:55:48,182 No, I'm sorry. 1038 00:55:48,348 --> 00:55:50,392 You were right. I'm too genital. 1039 00:55:50,559 --> 00:55:52,978 To be fair, it's an ambiguous term. 1040 00:55:53,145 --> 00:55:54,396 I'm gonna die. 1041 00:55:54,563 --> 00:55:56,064 It's draining my blood. 1042 00:55:56,231 --> 00:55:58,275 Don't say that. You won't die. 1043 00:55:58,442 --> 00:56:00,152 Keep talking... 1044 00:56:00,444 --> 00:56:02,487 Tell me about our first kiss. 1045 00:56:02,654 --> 00:56:04,323 After I fought Ti-Kong? 1046 00:56:04,489 --> 00:56:06,158 No, our first real kiss. 1047 00:56:06,408 --> 00:56:08,535 At the little Mexican place by the beach. 1048 00:56:10,370 --> 00:56:11,705 It was wonderful. 1049 00:56:12,331 --> 00:56:15,375 Remember? The guy left us the keys... 1050 00:56:16,251 --> 00:56:17,586 We danced all night. 1051 00:56:17,753 --> 00:56:19,755 I stepped on your feet. 1052 00:56:19,922 --> 00:56:21,131 Like you are now. 1053 00:56:21,298 --> 00:56:22,883 I drooled on your shoulder. 1054 00:56:30,182 --> 00:56:31,767 The burritos were amazing. 1055 00:56:31,934 --> 00:56:33,101 They were tacos... 1056 00:56:33,268 --> 00:56:35,729 - I see burritos everywhere. - That's normal. 1057 00:56:37,397 --> 00:56:39,066 I think it's calming down. 1058 00:56:39,942 --> 00:56:42,069 Great. Let's keep talking. 1059 00:56:42,694 --> 00:56:44,112 What's in burritos? 1060 00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,199 Corn... 1061 00:56:48,367 --> 00:56:50,035 Cheese... 1062 00:56:53,497 --> 00:56:54,831 Guacamole... 1063 00:56:55,082 --> 00:56:57,209 There are two schools, but yes. 1064 00:56:58,252 --> 00:57:00,045 - Beans? - Yes. 1065 00:57:00,254 --> 00:57:01,630 Red beans. 1066 00:57:04,716 --> 00:57:06,468 Thanks. Are you OK? 1067 00:57:21,191 --> 00:57:22,943 Aww, aren't they cute? 1068 00:57:23,110 --> 00:57:24,570 No, it's him. Michel. 1069 00:57:24,736 --> 00:57:26,446 You came for him. 1070 00:57:26,905 --> 00:57:28,657 You've gone up in my esteem. 1071 00:57:28,824 --> 00:57:30,158 Wait, that's him? 1072 00:57:35,122 --> 00:57:36,081 Hello, Sonia. 1073 00:57:36,999 --> 00:57:39,126 - Did you graft that on him? - Yes. 1074 00:57:42,421 --> 00:57:43,755 Frigid! 1075 00:57:44,423 --> 00:57:45,757 What'd you tell him? 1076 00:57:46,717 --> 00:57:48,969 - What? - How'd you talk him into this? 1077 00:57:49,595 --> 00:57:51,013 I didn't. 1078 00:57:51,180 --> 00:57:52,806 You did all the work. 1079 00:57:53,307 --> 00:57:54,725 The deprivation... 1080 00:57:54,892 --> 00:57:57,853 The way you crush our ego, confidence, potential. 1081 00:57:59,062 --> 00:58:00,272 Francis isn't your toy. 1082 00:58:02,816 --> 00:58:04,026 Well... 1083 00:58:04,484 --> 00:58:05,611 I have a screen here 1084 00:58:05,777 --> 00:58:07,112 that says otherwise. 1085 00:58:07,279 --> 00:58:08,363 Transplant complete. 1086 00:58:12,993 --> 00:58:14,244 Bye, Sonia. 1087 01:01:02,913 --> 01:01:03,956 It's time! 1088 01:01:08,168 --> 01:01:09,878 This world is dirty! 1089 01:01:10,963 --> 01:01:12,339 But Francis... 1090 01:01:13,215 --> 01:01:14,591 is here to cleanse it. 1091 01:01:15,300 --> 01:01:16,385 Come here. 1092 01:01:18,679 --> 01:01:19,888 Come, brother. 1093 01:01:21,056 --> 01:01:22,224 Come. 1094 01:01:29,857 --> 01:01:31,108 Thank you, Francis! 1095 01:01:34,319 --> 01:01:36,154 But it's huge! 1096 01:01:36,321 --> 01:01:38,282 It's sizable. 1097 01:01:38,574 --> 01:01:40,033 It's horrible. 1098 01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:41,285 Sonia, any ideas? 1099 01:01:41,451 --> 01:01:42,870 Thank you, Francis! 1100 01:01:45,038 --> 01:01:46,874 He's gonna dickslap the sex toy? 1101 01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:48,208 10 yards to live. 1102 01:01:48,375 --> 01:01:50,210 But I'm too young to die! 1103 01:01:51,545 --> 01:01:52,713 I love you! 1104 01:01:55,424 --> 01:01:56,884 I've tried everything. 1105 01:02:01,847 --> 01:02:02,973 Come! 1106 01:02:09,479 --> 01:02:10,898 Pookie! 1107 01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:17,779 Francis! 1108 01:02:17,946 --> 01:02:19,114 Listen to me. 1109 01:02:21,116 --> 01:02:22,492 I know you're lost. 1110 01:02:23,952 --> 01:02:25,996 The world is changing too fast. 1111 01:02:26,163 --> 01:02:27,414 I'm counting to 3. 1112 01:02:27,581 --> 01:02:29,625 You can't change overnight, 1113 01:02:30,334 --> 01:02:31,793 but I know you're trying. 1114 01:02:49,019 --> 01:02:52,731 After 10 years together, we have to reinvent ourselves. 1115 01:02:58,946 --> 01:03:00,531 Know that I still need you... 1116 01:03:02,199 --> 01:03:03,158 but I have needs too. 1117 01:03:06,537 --> 01:03:08,580 Time for myself, see? 1118 01:03:11,166 --> 01:03:13,710 I know you're afraid of getting left behind... 1119 01:03:15,420 --> 01:03:16,713 of not measuring up. 1120 01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:21,426 But stop thinking with your dick! 1121 01:03:27,182 --> 01:03:28,809 I know you can do it! 1122 01:03:30,727 --> 01:03:32,271 So come back to us. 1123 01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,189 Come back! 1124 01:04:05,095 --> 01:04:06,346 Step aside or else! 1125 01:04:06,972 --> 01:04:08,974 Stay where you are! 1126 01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:11,393 Should I press here? 1127 01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:13,187 - Here, take this. - I'm cold. 1128 01:04:13,437 --> 01:04:14,730 Hush! It'll be OK. 1129 01:04:19,276 --> 01:04:20,485 I like being held. 1130 01:04:20,652 --> 01:04:21,820 Why are they circling? 1131 01:04:22,613 --> 01:04:23,697 Cut it out! 1132 01:04:23,864 --> 01:04:25,449 What's the plan now? 1133 01:04:26,033 --> 01:04:27,284 Shut up! 1134 01:04:29,578 --> 01:04:31,079 Thanks for rescuing me. 1135 01:04:31,246 --> 01:04:33,582 I could never abandon you. 1136 01:04:33,749 --> 01:04:35,375 I gave you the greatest gift, 1137 01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:36,668 the most generous, 1138 01:04:36,835 --> 01:04:38,378 and you cockblock me? 1139 01:04:39,087 --> 01:04:41,298 You've dashed my spatial dickslap dreams, 1140 01:04:41,465 --> 01:04:43,091 and ruined everything. 1141 01:04:44,593 --> 01:04:46,053 Seriously, you're dead. 1142 01:04:46,970 --> 01:04:48,263 You're too genital. 1143 01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:50,933 "Genital" is not a word! 1144 01:04:51,683 --> 01:04:52,809 The sword. 1145 01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,944 I'll break your necks. 1146 01:05:02,611 --> 01:05:04,988 You thinking what I'm thinking? 1147 01:05:05,531 --> 01:05:06,949 Dick tag! 1148 01:05:07,991 --> 01:05:10,035 That's cheating. They have no dicks. 1149 01:05:56,957 --> 01:05:58,000 Let go of him! 1150 01:06:33,785 --> 01:06:34,953 Calm down, Michel! 1151 01:06:35,579 --> 01:06:36,496 Never! 1152 01:07:05,484 --> 01:07:07,152 You're getting on my nerves! 1153 01:07:25,546 --> 01:07:27,214 Stop! I don't want to play! 1154 01:07:27,506 --> 01:07:30,717 Stop now or you'll regret it! 1155 01:08:22,853 --> 01:08:24,520 Marcus! 1156 01:08:33,654 --> 01:08:34,781 Francis... 1157 01:08:36,408 --> 01:08:37,910 Sonia was right. 1158 01:08:38,285 --> 01:08:39,661 Stay with me, buddy. 1159 01:08:40,828 --> 01:08:42,331 I've been thinking... 1160 01:08:43,457 --> 01:08:45,667 It wasn't you who needed me, 1161 01:08:45,876 --> 01:08:47,336 it was the reverse. 1162 01:08:50,380 --> 01:08:51,756 My resignation. 1163 01:08:52,174 --> 01:08:53,300 Let me read it. 1164 01:08:53,634 --> 01:08:54,593 Now? 1165 01:08:57,970 --> 01:08:59,389 "Dear Francis... 1166 01:08:59,973 --> 01:09:02,100 "It's been an honor working with you, 1167 01:09:02,725 --> 01:09:03,852 "but I've my own path. 1168 01:09:05,312 --> 01:09:06,270 "P.S. 1169 01:09:06,688 --> 01:09:08,941 "Turn off the power on weekends, 1170 01:09:09,483 --> 01:09:11,859 "and descale machine... 1171 01:09:12,236 --> 01:09:13,069 "#3." 1172 01:09:14,029 --> 01:09:15,197 I will. 1173 01:09:31,337 --> 01:09:32,005 Got a stain. 1174 01:09:36,385 --> 01:09:39,011 Made you look... 1175 01:09:55,737 --> 01:09:57,239 It's over, Michel. 1176 01:09:59,032 --> 01:10:00,409 It's not over! 1177 01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:29,813 Stop! 1178 01:10:30,647 --> 01:10:32,816 - Stay back! - Don't be a fool, Michel. 1179 01:10:33,275 --> 01:10:35,485 Don't move! Don't touch me! 1180 01:10:35,652 --> 01:10:37,196 I gave you the world. You blew it. 1181 01:10:37,362 --> 01:10:39,948 I feel your pain. I've struggled too. 1182 01:10:40,115 --> 01:10:42,159 Not like I did, stop! 1183 01:10:42,326 --> 01:10:43,368 - Stop. - What? 1184 01:10:43,535 --> 01:10:45,329 No, you stop! 1185 01:10:46,622 --> 01:10:49,750 This world disgusts me, Francis. 1186 01:10:50,250 --> 01:10:51,793 Your world is too small. 1187 01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:53,962 Maybe you had a bad experience. 1188 01:10:54,213 --> 01:10:56,340 I've had a thousand. Only bad ones. 1189 01:10:57,007 --> 01:10:58,800 Bullshit. Not a thousand. 1190 01:10:58,967 --> 01:11:00,594 2 or 3, same thing. 1191 01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:04,306 It's easy for you. 1192 01:11:05,307 --> 01:11:07,267 Sonia came for you. 1193 01:11:09,853 --> 01:11:11,438 Nobody's coming for me. 1194 01:11:17,027 --> 01:11:18,654 I came for you. 1195 01:11:25,827 --> 01:11:26,995 Oh, I see. 1196 01:11:27,162 --> 01:11:27,996 Get off. 1197 01:11:31,625 --> 01:11:32,835 Watch me. 1198 01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:37,130 I'll show you what it means to be a man. 1199 01:11:48,100 --> 01:11:49,142 Be brave, Marcus. 1200 01:12:12,666 --> 01:12:13,834 It misfired! 1201 01:12:16,128 --> 01:12:17,296 Francis! 1202 01:12:22,301 --> 01:12:24,303 Look, no period! 1203 01:12:24,761 --> 01:12:27,097 Girls, come help me! 1204 01:12:27,264 --> 01:12:28,348 Help me! 1205 01:12:31,685 --> 01:12:33,020 In here. 1206 01:12:34,062 --> 01:12:36,398 Marcus, find his penis, please. 1207 01:12:38,483 --> 01:12:39,526 You OK? 1208 01:12:39,693 --> 01:12:42,070 I'm happy we made up. 1209 01:12:42,529 --> 01:12:44,198 It was crazy to cut off your dick. 1210 01:12:44,448 --> 01:12:46,450 It'll grow back. 1211 01:12:46,617 --> 01:12:48,368 Got it! Here. 1212 01:12:48,619 --> 01:12:50,204 Yes, it's this one. 1213 01:12:50,370 --> 01:12:52,206 It's in Popular Science. 1214 01:12:52,372 --> 01:12:53,540 Hold his dick. 1215 01:12:53,707 --> 01:12:55,083 I'm not holding his dick! 1216 01:12:55,250 --> 01:12:58,045 We're gonna do it. We have to! 1217 01:12:58,420 --> 01:13:00,839 - He'll be so grateful. - Think so? 1218 01:13:01,006 --> 01:13:03,759 Look, there's still a lot left. 1219 01:13:04,218 --> 01:13:05,511 It's flowing. 1220 01:13:06,512 --> 01:13:08,138 It's flowing! 1221 01:13:29,326 --> 01:13:32,246 Well, I have to tell you the ending. 1222 01:13:33,497 --> 01:13:37,084 Michel, your strength tester got misaligned. 1223 01:13:37,668 --> 01:13:39,711 It skewed everything by 4 inches. 1224 01:13:39,878 --> 01:13:41,171 You missed the moon. 1225 01:13:42,047 --> 01:13:45,092 Just goes to show, 4 inches can save the world! 1226 01:13:46,343 --> 01:13:47,761 I don't mean you, Ti-Kong. 1227 01:13:47,928 --> 01:13:52,182 I know you tried to change things in your own way. 1228 01:13:53,809 --> 01:13:56,562 Sonia did a hack job on my stitches, 1229 01:13:56,728 --> 01:13:58,021 so she... 1230 01:13:58,564 --> 01:14:00,649 finished me off with tape. 1231 01:14:03,068 --> 01:14:04,862 Careful of the bandages. 1232 01:14:05,028 --> 01:14:06,154 Sorry. 1233 01:14:06,822 --> 01:14:09,199 I went to a specialist. 1234 01:14:09,658 --> 01:14:11,869 It's healing nicely. I think. 1235 01:14:12,911 --> 01:14:14,705 All this brought us closer. 1236 01:14:14,872 --> 01:14:16,498 It's been 1 year without sex. 1237 01:14:16,665 --> 01:14:18,750 A year without sex. All done. 1238 01:14:18,917 --> 01:14:22,921 The doctors say it'll take another 2 months to heal. 1239 01:14:23,881 --> 01:14:25,048 Oh really? 1240 01:14:26,925 --> 01:14:28,093 The dojo reopened... 1241 01:14:28,844 --> 01:14:30,929 I can feel your energy! 1242 01:14:31,096 --> 01:14:33,348 It went co-ed. Business is booming. 1243 01:14:33,515 --> 01:14:34,892 Once it's warm, 1244 01:14:35,058 --> 01:14:39,062 feminine and masculine energy fuse. 1245 01:14:39,229 --> 01:14:40,522 Got it? 1246 01:14:40,856 --> 01:14:42,733 Marcus finally took vacation. 1247 01:14:44,109 --> 01:14:46,403 Weird being at the dry cleaner alone. 1248 01:14:50,407 --> 01:14:51,867 But I'm happy for him. 1249 01:14:54,620 --> 01:14:56,580 Sorry, you're gone. 1250 01:14:58,123 --> 01:15:00,375 INSERT EPITAPH HERE 1251 01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:02,085 I'm sure 1252 01:15:02,252 --> 01:15:03,545 with a little work 1253 01:15:03,712 --> 01:15:06,006 the 3 of us could've been friends. 1254 01:15:16,350 --> 01:15:17,518 Well... 1255 01:15:19,436 --> 01:15:20,687 Bye, guys. 1256 01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:43,836 - You OK? - It's my nose, I think. 1257 01:15:44,378 --> 01:15:46,839 You think this penis is giant. 1258 01:15:47,256 --> 01:15:49,550 And it is. Let's not kid ourselves. 1259 01:15:53,595 --> 01:15:55,013 He looks pissed. 1260 01:15:55,180 --> 01:15:56,431 That's me. 1261 01:15:57,599 --> 01:15:58,767 OK, girls. 1262 01:15:58,934 --> 01:16:00,769 Most important meridian. 1263 01:16:00,936 --> 01:16:03,021 We stimulate it as much as we can. 1264 01:16:03,188 --> 01:16:04,523 Voodoo ritual, 1265 01:16:04,731 --> 01:16:07,943 cigar cutting accident, nothing's off the table. 1266 01:16:08,110 --> 01:16:09,653 Watch the private parts. 1267 01:16:09,820 --> 01:16:11,154 You OK, Intern? 1268 01:16:13,657 --> 01:16:14,825 Honey? 1269 01:16:15,325 --> 01:16:16,118 Honey? 1270 01:16:17,202 --> 01:16:19,037 Come untie me, please. 1271 01:16:33,385 --> 01:16:34,553 Hi. 1272 01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:35,888 How've you been? 1273 01:16:36,805 --> 01:16:38,140 I didn't hear anything. 1274 01:16:38,473 --> 01:16:39,474 How've you been? 1275 01:16:40,642 --> 01:16:42,102 I have a little... 1276 01:16:42,728 --> 01:16:44,146 back pain. 1277 01:16:44,479 --> 01:16:46,940 Could someone call the... 1278 01:16:47,691 --> 01:16:49,234 ambulance... 1279 01:16:49,484 --> 01:16:51,236 or a chiropractor... 1280 01:16:52,029 --> 01:16:53,322 Holy cow! 1281 01:16:54,072 --> 01:16:56,366 We hope you liked the film. 1282 01:16:56,742 --> 01:16:58,660 That you laughed a lot... 1283 01:16:59,119 --> 01:17:00,996 and understood the message... 1284 01:17:01,830 --> 01:17:03,373 That is... 1285 01:17:04,124 --> 01:17:07,085 Women are liars and you should avoid them... 1286 01:17:07,419 --> 01:17:08,795 like the plague. 1287 01:17:09,963 --> 01:17:11,006 Holy cow! 1288 01:17:11,590 --> 01:17:12,799 Every Thursday, 1289 01:17:12,966 --> 01:17:14,676 we hold screenings 1290 01:17:15,093 --> 01:17:17,054 but also workshops... 1291 01:17:22,434 --> 01:17:24,603 Gotcha! I'm still here. 1292 01:17:25,479 --> 01:17:28,982 Seriously, if you could just call a... 77342

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