Original subtitles

So, we just wanted to be

Your mum and I, uh, well,

as...as friends.

But I can assure you and promise you

We haven't been...

Well, I mean, we did

What?

Fully... Fully clothed.

We... We fell asleep

But we did...

Are we good?

Good chat. Thanks.

Should I go?

Yeah.

Hey.

Back way.

Mmm.

But thanks.

OK. What happened at my birthday

We are colleagues, not friends

and blurring those lines

Is that supposed to be an apology?

So, if anyone has anything

that's not about my personal life

Jaz.

Um, does Lima have a brother,

'cause I would 'Lima' my legs open

(LAUGHTER)

Where's Tui? What?

Well, bubs was rostered on

but poor thing's got

Has anyone heard from Lolly?

Who died?

Right. Looks like we might need

(LAUGHS)

So, who wants extra 'peen'?

(LAUGHS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)

(RINGING TONE)

(ON PHONE) Hi, it's Tui.

(BEEP)

I think you've done the right thing.

Look, even if Rob finds out,

Rob is not gonna find out.

We will have this loan paid back

way before the divorce lawyers

Oh, you don't think he'd, uh,

Rob doesn't read anything

Oh, thank god for that.

Does she have friends, Tui?

She says her friends are

who work down on Main Street.

Oh.

Any idea where she might be?

Well, have you heard from her?

Why?

She hasn't turned up to work, so...

You're her pimp.

Her madam. Yeah.

She's been too busy.

Yeah, too busy making coin.

You know, last week, one of my girls

God, this is expensive!

Can you ladies afford to shop here

(BOTH SCOFF)

Go to Helz.

Sorry. I said go to Helz'.

Her mum. You'll love her.

Thank you.

Come again!

Oh, fuck!

Fuck!

What did I do again?

Bitch, I've got the red set

Um, what's going on?

My period's synced

And how is that Deziyah's fault?

Uh, 'cause she's got

What, like a she-wolf?

Oi!

It's a uterus with such immense

that it draws all nearby uteruses

And Jaz is the dumb bitch.

Mine's late.

You guys do you know that

Well, I guess we'll see, won't we?

Coldie?

Oh. Thanks.

So, how is she?

I was hoping you could tell me.

She hasn't turned up to work.

Oh, I haven't seen her in a while.

God, should I be worried?

Oh, no, no, no.

It was just

so she's probably just

(LAUGHS) Sounds about right.

She can be a selfish little bitch

Well, she's not a pushover.

She's tough, smart.

(LAUGHS) Hey, look at this.

Oh, where is it?

No.

Oh, it's in here somewhere.

Such a little clown.

Always joking around.

She was just chirping away

That's how she got her name, Tui.

You pour everything into your kids,

Leave home and get on

Hey. Clothes?

Out the front.

That one thinks he's got an allergy

Same as mine.

What would they do without us?

(BOTH LAUGH)

So, really great to hear

Yes. Yes. She's, uh...

Mmm.

Did she mention that at all?

Hey. Thanks for the lunch.

So, if we hear from her,

Yeah, not that she'll text me,

Oh, you guys don't get on?

She and Pooch had a thing

Mmm.

Yeah, it got a little bit weird.

I bet.

Oh, don't worry. He's 18.

Thank god for that.

So, um, when she turns up,

can you let her know

Please?

Of course.

MAN: Oh, yeah. That's it. That's it.

Wow.

So good.

So interesting.

How's that?

Wow.

(MOUTHS WORDS)

(MOUTHS WORDS)

Oh, my god! Make the shot, baby!

Oh!

What the actual fuck?

It's just blood, bro.

Calm down.

You gave him a refund?

Don't worry. Our policy is

They'll still get paid.

It's about the principle.

Um, you are all missing

Fiyah's got her period.

Uterus, uterus, uterus, uterus...

Again, alpha uterus is not a thing,

Yep, Cherry's right. And Fiyah's

Very normal.

Mack's tracking our period?

Yeah, not a fan of that.

It's just being business-savvy.

The use of tech is now

OK, Mack Zuckerberg...

Whether we're on our cycle or not

How's your butt feeling, eh,

from Mack fucking us harder

And she fucks hard.

You've gotta stop taking the fall

Hey, guys. I'm really worried.

Because it's not real.

You're a bit late.

(SIGHS)

(MOBILE PHONE BLEEPS)

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

This is Mack.

MAN: (ON PHONE) Yeah, g'day.

(SIGHS)

OK. I am so sorry.

Yes. I will be right there. Thanks.

(SIGHS)

Oh, my god!

I'm hiding from the hormones.

Yeah.

Are you OK?

Well, not really.

I think I might be pregnant.

I'm over a week late.

Is, uh... Is that a problem?

No, because I love babies

and I've always wanted

It's just that I feel like, for me,

Do you have to? Aren't you rich?

Well, my parents are rich

but, like, this is the first time

that I haven't had to rely

And I love it here with all of you

and...like, I can just be myself.

I get that.

Do you regret not having kids?

I do have kids.

Or a kid.

Holden. Name them after me ute.

And are you close?

I mean, we love each other,

Oh, I don't think you have to be.

Everybody doesn't have to be

I just feel like

Right now?

(LAUGHS) No, not right now.

(LAUGHS)

Well, then, take a seat and wait for

Yeah. (LAUGHS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

It'll be alright.

See, it doesn't come naturally.

(BOTH LAUGH)

MAN: Hey, Mack.

Alright, you. Come on. Let's go home.

I've already got a ride.

OK. Um, can you give us a minute?

Listen, the boys and I

until Noam finishes school.

Then we can sell.

Financially, I can manage till then.

Great to see you're doing so well.

(BOTH SIGH)

Listen, Rob, this is gonna be better

Mmm.

You can stay in Auckland,

You can write your book...

Sorry.

Yeah?

Which part?

For everything.

You know, the day we found out

Oh, come on. Don't...

This is not Toby's fault.

No, I know. I know.

It's ours.

(SHOWER RUNS, THEN STOPS)

(UNZIPS BOOT)

No, no, leave them on.

OK, baby.

Hmm. Fancy a little massage first?

No, no. I'm ready to go.

Oooh, yay.

(LAUGHS) Oooh. (LAUGHS) You don't

You know, reconnect...

Mmm, yeah.

Oooh.

(LAUGHS)

Whoa.

Don't worry. Just cold hands.

(LAUGHS)

I don't know.

Well, can't you just, I don't know,

Oh, man, you've never been weird

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Hey.

I saw your car outside.

Why are you here?

I just want to talk.

I'm just a contractor that fucks

(SIGHS) Look, can I come in?

Please?

(DOOR CLOSES)

Nice.

So, what's your plan?

Is sex work the long game for you?

Deziyah's still doing it.

So, only some of your girls

I'm not trying to save you, Tui,

but right now you've got nowhere

and no-one looking out for you.

Come back to work.

Because I ruined your marriage

Oh, my marriage was over

Look, I'm not entirely

I want to run an ethical business,

I want to be a madam

But especially you.

Cookie!

(WOMEN GASP)

What is it?

Oh, my god.

Oh, now you just sat on your toast.

(GRUNTS) Screw you!

You know, and screw you too.

I'm gonna go buy some sponges

because we'll need a few

Flow's so heavy

Can you use tampons?

Think about it, Jules. You can't use

What, does Cherry have to buy

I know, right?

Well, it's standard practice

to provide the period sponges,

Surely they can't be that expensive.

Hey, hey, hey. It's OK, bub.

What do you expect from a general

Mmm.

But then I guess you and Mack

really are doing all the hard

Oh, yeah, scheduling. You're

God, that must be such hard work.

JAZ: She's got a really good point,

Yeah, alright.

(MUMBLES)

Alright, shut up.

Yep. Dead! Dead pussy!

Yeah, shut up.

Jumpy. Hey.

Hey. Did you get my messages?

Can you... Thank you.

Tui's gonna stay for a bit.

Do you play?

Give us a go?

You can't just be a camper.

You're about to see the best

(SHOOTING ON VIDEO GAME)

WOMAN: Oh...

I get the worst cramps

Sometimes, having your period,

There you go, beautiful.

Here, just put that there, yeah?

It's only for a little while longer.

Is that shit really working?

JAZ: I'm hideous. I'm disgusting.

No wonder that client

Hey, you. Just stop.

Stop that talk. Take this.

Now, one day, your client will be

and she'd rather chop off

than have to revive his limp dick

and all he'll be thinking about

that he once finger-banged, Jaz.

Yeah?

God is a woman.

Amen.

What's happening?

Oh, god. All their periods

What's happening is that Cherry

because apparently your girls

That's fucked up!

You know, Dion, Dion used to

Barely.

Oh, oh, and, hey, we don't need you

WOMEN: Yeah.

Our bodies are not

WOMAN: Exactly.

Who the fuck gave you the right?

And that's our period.

OK. We'll supply sponges.

That's all for now.

Miss Alpha Uterus

Yeah.

Alpha uterus?

It's 'cause Deziyah

the girls' sacral chakra energy

Except for me.

OK, even if alpha uterus

which, by the way, it's not,

Hmm?

Well, you said that you just found

because Cherry was looking for one,

which means you haven't needed one

so how can you sync everyone up

Well, I am on my period, yeah?

I've got my period.

When I say on here...I've got

I've got my fucking period.

Why wouldn't you have

(LAUGHS) Right?

I mean, I can smell it.

It's totally OK.

Menopause is such a beautiful

Shut up.

I will shove your sage

they'll be calling you

for the rest of your fucking life!

JULES: Menopausal rage.

Fairy dust. (BLOWS)

Uh... Oh, I've got an appointment,

Yeah.

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)

Who hurt you?

Look, I was just trying

I wasn't commenting on the status

JULES: I can see it from both sides.

(AMETHYST GASPS)

(GASPS) Oh, my goodness!

You guys, I think

Oh, my gosh!

Hello there, little friend.

(LAUGHS)

My moon's arrived, I think.

(ENGINE STOPS)

(WHISTLES)

Hey.

Wassup?

Hey, listen, I've been thinking.

Um, to be honest,

Mmm.

Yeah.

We could go inside and find out.

OK, then.

Can you hear something?

Um...

'Cause it sounds like she's got

Can cats get asthma?

Maybe a chest infection or something?

Yeah, like I've said before,

But, uh, yeah,

But see a vet.

OK.

Back to test results.

Oh, just one more thing.

I wanted to talk to you

and I don't know...

I didn't, um...

You're pregnant.

So I don't have the menopause?

No.

How are you feeling?

(LAUGHS)

I'm pregnant.

Yeah.

I'm pregnant.

I'm gonna have a little bubba.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm pregnant.

(POP MUSIC PLAYS)