Original subtitles

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Welcome to Sweethearts.

How can we service you?

Hi. It's, um...

Uh, my name's, uh, Steven.

I-I-I-I'm calling about...

Hey, Steven.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

I was just on your...

Jaz?

Oh, Jaz is fantastic.

What would you like to do with her?

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Oh, girlfriend experience...

does it have kissing?

It does.

Jaz can...

..see you today if you'd like.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah, OK. Great.

Oh, and, Steven,

or unplanned walk-ins

This is about the safety

And if you're late or a no-show,

Oh, OK. So, it's quite, um, strict.

Now, when you arrive,

you wait in your car for my text

Then you walk over

you'll knock on the door

She will let you in.

You'll discuss any extras that you

and take a shower.

Remember, it's her room, Steven,

Either of you can withdraw

Have fun.

Oh, my god.

Oh!

(BIRDS CHIRP)

We've literally had one client

People always take time

Well, single parenting is expensive.

Advertising's been tough,

but we expect to be up

by the end of the week.

We might be ethical and idealistic

but we are still a viable business,

Yeah, it's just

not naming names, have been saying

Yeah. That's... funny.

Totally get it...

Like... soon.

Do you know how expensive it is

This puffed, this hot,

Word is getting out

Oh, cool, 'cause-'cause this is all,

Absolutely, for all of us.

But you are doing great.

Yeah, but I haven't done anything.

Yeah, but you're thinking about it.

So, on a scale from one to ten,

I promise you,

This... It's gonna work.

Trust me, please?

(PHONE RINGS)

(SIGHS)

Excuse me? Mac?

Sharon, is it?

You do realise

Yeah.

And yours is a...

Uh, well, I'm a feminist.

Same.

But I've started a petition

Yes, I know that. You've cc'd me in.

Well, I'd hate

God forbid.

I was thinking

Is that like a Brazilian?

Baby, come on.

MAN (ON PHONE): Dion told me

Don't you miss me?

I think it's messed up.

Bloody kidding.

What'd he say?

Is he gonna come here?

No.

Dion's told our regulars

scraping semen from used condoms.

So, we're fucked?

I mean, we're not fucked.

No drunks, no creeps,

no clients, no money.

It's-it's one thing to tell

but no line-ups?

That's just bad business.

Uh, I think you'll find

(GIGGLES)

..and I will not have my girls

like pigs at a fair.

Hello.

Is this the Featherington

Yeah.

Uh, my name is Mackenzie Leigh.

I actually

the services of my new business.

Yeah. OK. Yeah.

It's called Sweethearts

As a number of your residents

may not have had sex

I figured it could be a...

Bye.

Hi there.

Is this Dennis Hall, head of the,

MAN (ON PHONE): Yeah, you got them.

Listen, I have started a brothel.

I'm not saying change

I'm just suggesting

some advertising on it

and offer you

Oh, hi.

Is this the Carnivorous

Hi, is this the Theological Society?

Hi, is this the North Island

How do you guys feel about...

jumping into some sexy time?

I have,

and I think

Uh, no, this is not a god thing.

It's more of a get laid thing.

No, no, no.

I get it. Thanks.

We've reached out

widower groups

And got no bookings.

(PHONE RINGS)

What the hell?

Oh. Mm-hm.

Answer the phone. Take the call.

I am not letting creeps

Are these all criminals?

No, just people

Like mashed dick hole.

..drunk, kite, perverted.

That's everyone.

No, it's not. Listen.

As soon as our Kiwi Chicks

the men will come.

On our tits.

(CHUCKLES)

Here you go, Partner.

Oh, no.

How are you feeling about it all?

What?

I know. I know.

I know.

It can feel like

and you've hit your limit.

But new businesses take time,

and you have

Not just emotionally

Hmm.

Do you know that the Kiwi Chick's

What?

It's New Zealand's

They have offered a 10k discount.

I guess that's something

taken with the idea

Oh, great.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hey, Chompy.

Joe's having a group of us over.

I'm heading there now.

No, you're not.

I'm his brother, not his carer.

If you and dad can't be,

Yeah.

Well, your father and I are working

It's not my fault you decide

while dad's away.

It's not a...

Listen, you should just be grateful

Whatever, bye.

Chompy?

Chompsky.

Yeah.

So, are you one of the Sweethearts?

I heard about you guys opening up

and book a girlfriend experience.

Hi, ladies.

Hi.

Looking for Sweethearts?

How can I help you?

Could I, uh, pick a girl to,

Sure.

On this.

Aw. You want me to bonk on here?

Hey. Can I just, uh, pick up...

We don't do line-ups.

Uh, looks like a line-up to me.

No.

Alright.

OK, let's see here.

Amethyst...

Nope.

Jess...

Nope. Nope.

Oh! Oh, yeah. Goldie is pretty hot.

Yeah.

She old?

She's mature.

Oh, yeah.

I like to think so.

I'd blow my beans on that.

Yeah.

Sign me up with her right now.

Oh, yeah

She is very skilful.

Like...

Oh.

If you know what I mean.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Yeah, is she free now or...

We don't do walk-ins.

I just walked in.

Did you just give away

Hey, you can have him.

Some of us have kids.

Yeah, we all need the money.

Just because you've spawned

Some of us have bills.

It means your parents

Yeah, well, I pay utilities.

You're supposed to be feminists.

So are you.

Oh. OK.

So, as you can imagine,

trying to change the culture

has us coming up

Feminists running the asylum, eh?

I had to see this one for myself.

Think how much more traffic

Yeah, so, where them bra

Let's get some pickies.

Oh, no.

I've already taken their photos

Yeah, but I might need

Also need photos

with their real names at the bottom.

Don't worry,

It's just...It's just so I know

Otherwise (GIGGLES)

You could meet them.

So...

How-how do...

Do you...do you sneak a peek

Just look at his ears.

A man's ears

have a direct correlation

I-I-I've never heard of this.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

So, it's-it's the smaller the ear,

Stop winding her up, you bitch.

(GIGGLES)

Condom sizes are all different.

Line them up

Once you've seen the pen,

you can easily grab

Yeah.

Because then you have

and do a little dance.

Shut up.

We are no longer

But that's what all brothels use.

Yes, but we are on other websites.

Literally,

came from Kiwi Chicks.

Look, apart from the fact

that he wants us

which I'm not even sure is legal,

Yes.

So, guys know what we look like

No, not photos for the ads,

photos of your faces holding signs

Insurance, apparently.

He does that for everyone.

It's just

Or he gets off on power

you all into fucking him.

Either way, ethically,

OK.

Uh...

Well, I eat mashed dick hole

Just give it up.

Your feminist brothel

and you're making us broke

(MESSAGE ALERT)

Oh, god. Noam.

I gotta go. I will be back soon.

That's our madam. Oh.

Hey, it's Noam.

(BEEP)

I swear to god, Noam,

I am changing the password

Hi. You OK?

It wasn't. I'm sorry.

He didn't say you were here.

Oh, should I... go or...

Oh, no, no.

I...

Happy to stay.

Yeah. It's not a problem.

You good, Tob?

OK. Great. Just a couple of hours.

I'll make up the difference.

Thank you.

Fuuuck!

OK?

Yeah. Good.

Hey.

Hey, you've-you've had

Any tips?

Honestly, I only had one client

and I just wanked him off

Marcus is here. OK.

You ready, Goldie?

No.

Oh. No?

Goldie, I kinda went out

I know technically

but let's not blur those human

I'm-I'm really not ready.

Yeah. Cool.

All good.

Tui, he is all yours.

Tui, where is she?

Eh, not sure, actually.

Haven't seen her in a little bit.

Ah, so good.

Ah, ah! Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Stop, stop. I'll cum.

I just wanna get my money's worth.

(BREATHES DEEP)

Mmm.

Mmm.

Yes.

Obviously, I didn't realise

Oh, jeepers, creepers, Tui.

(SIGHS) Sorry. Sorry.

I'll calm down.

(MESSAGE ALERT)

I'm not getting back

I paid my money.

Get the fuck out of here, jeez!

I'm not listening to you.

Get the fuck out of here...

I paid my money.

Hey!

Well, I'm being ripped off.

Well, he was so psyched

worth that he sucked

Get the fuck out.

I shan't.

Unless someone provided

or-or-or-or services to completion,

Be my guest.

So, the assault...

I called you.

The brothel provides a service.

They should have to follow through

Wait.

So, if you order a burger

and you're still hungry

you ask for a refund?

No.

No. Wait. Wait.

Am I hallucinating?

Is there brain

Sir, if you don't calm down,

you might find yourself

Come on, it's only a warning.

He left his car here.

You're gonna

Yeah.

Mrs Varma?

So cool to see you doing your thing.

Oh.

How's your mama?

She's good. She's really good.

Oh, fuck off.

Yeah, she's coming. Go, go, go.

Fucking ethical business, my ass.

Girls can't even

And she's just...

because they don't meet

Like, who the fuck are you?

I guess it didn't occur to you,

white lady

and it's the broken

and we need them.

OK.

We will advertise on Kiwi Chicks.

Food on the table, roof overhead,

they're the most important things,

So, ladies, why don't you go home

and I will pay you

Oh, man.

Fuck.

Let's go get a drink.

Thank you.

I'm not rich, by the way.

Yeah.

Yeah, just... put that out there.

Hey!

I'm done with this. OK?

I'm just not ready

No.

No. Wait, Goldie.

See you never.

I need you.

I would...I would rather work

I need you to help me to help them.

Please... talk to her.

Um, I-I've had sex heaps of times.

Sex work

It's about having

(SIGHS) OK.

And making

Not fuck...

but...

fuck.

You wanna fuck?

You-you wanna fuck for real?

She paid us for the hour.

Yeah, I know, but I don't...

And you're a fucking hot babe.

OK. I'm your client.

Show me what you got.

Or we call it a night.

There's no pressure.

You really want?

But...

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Oh.

Uh, don't do

Do what'll make me feel good.

Oh, hey, Cass.

Hi. All good?

Hope you had a great day. Oh, my god.

Did you... Not me.

Oh!

The celebrity chef.

Wow! Howdy, neighbour? Neighbour?

Um, I'm just checking in.

Looks like you, well, you're doing single parenting

at the moment, so...

Yeah.

Yeah, Rob's away working so... Oh.

..thank you. Pleasure. Hey!

Um, just saying, if you ever need anything,

I'm just, you know, over the fence.

That's very kind of you.

I'm not sharing that.

Really? Mm-mm.

Good.

Enjoy. (CHUCKLES) I will.

Thank you.

So, this has been a lifelong dream?

Fucking for money? Mmm.

No. (LAUGHS)

Uh, I was bartender for a while, actually.

Mmm. But... the money sucked.

The hours sucked.

Having a boss, that sucks.

(LAUGHS) You like this more then?

Yeah, I love this.

Look...

Jaz loves fucking.

Lily loves making people feel good.

Amethyst gets on a deep,

human level how important it is to be seen.

Cherry? Freedom.

Cherry earns enough money to raise her kids on her own.

Look, if you're meant to do this, you'll find your thing.

What's your thing?

My thing.

OK.

In this room, what happens between you and your client,

that...

usually is honest.

There's no bullshit.

You know what you want from each other.

So, you can just be free.

Does that make sense?

I feel like that sounded weird.

No.

No, that makes sense.

OK, cool.

Because I fucking love that.

(PHONE RINGS)

Mmm.

You're back, Mac.

OK, I am in

but I take all the photos of the girls

including the ones with their names and their faces unless,

of course, you want me to report you to the Commerce Commission

for anti-competitive behaviour.

Well, it's a very kind gesture.

As soon as I get that 25k,

we'll get your girls up and pumping it.

25? Wait. No. That's full price.

What can I say? Inflation's a bitch, ain't it?

Oh.

OK, listen. I will meet you halfway.

20k.

I think you'll find it's 21.

The agreement's just been amended by both parties.

Did you not get that email?

OK. So be it.

Asshole.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I don't wanna talk to you for a while.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello?

Hi, Mac. It's Sharon.

This is just a courtesy call to let you know that

I am gonna have to shut you down.

Our petition's got 1,200 signatures and we're only just getting started.

Sharon? Mm-hm.

Go fuck yourself.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

# I want a big fine daddy

# A big fine daddy is all I need. #

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

VOICEOVER: Superstar Rachel Griffiths

is the mum with a radical new idea.

Ethical brothel. Ethical brothel.

Ethical brothel.

Welcome to Sweethearts.

We do things a little differently around here.

(SQUEALING)

And this small country town...

What is going on here?

They just called to say they're shutting us down.

..is in for one massive shock.

How massive?

(FLY UNZIPPING) Oh!

It's the surprising new show

on everyone's lips.

He's getting laid. You should try it sometime.