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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:34,310 That was me, dude. I don't know how I got it. 2 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,160 A kid has a beard. 3 00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:47,920 Yeah, so cute. 4 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,280 Zed's baby beard hasn't fallen out yet. 5 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,260 But when it does, the beard fairy will come. 6 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,260 Gonna stop you right there, Schwoz. Thank you. 7 00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:02,040 You know, as much as I love having your family here, I hate it. So, everybody 8 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,040 out! 9 00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:07,460 But I asked you to take a come visit for a week, and you said... Yeah, sure, 10 00:01:07,580 --> 00:01:08,580 whatever, Schwoz. 11 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,360 Dude, why would you say that? I did it! 12 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:11,378 Yeah, you did. 13 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:15,040 When? I asked you three months ago because you can't think that far ahead, 14 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,200 you'll just say yes to anything. 15 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,000 But it's so not true. 16 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,800 Hey, can Jasper and I get raises in three months? 17 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,900 Yeah, sure, whatever. That's like a million years away. 18 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,260 Hey! Look, let's just get some churros. Right. 19 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:27,780 Churros fix everything. 20 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:30,300 Hey, 21 00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:34,200 don't pull your baby beard. It will fall out naturally. 22 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:35,640 Mm -hmm. 23 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:40,120 That's what I need, baby. One churro. Two churros. Thank you. Please. 24 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:42,650 No churros available. 25 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:44,370 What did you say? 26 00:01:44,610 --> 00:01:45,610 Did I stutter? 27 00:01:46,050 --> 00:01:47,490 No churros available. 28 00:01:48,230 --> 00:01:49,230 Hey. 29 00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:50,469 Hey, what? 30 00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:52,170 How come the auto snacker's out of churros? 31 00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,190 Larry's kids ordered a ton of them. 32 00:01:54,470 --> 00:02:00,290 What? Oh, come on, man. We just got back from saving the city from Arson Boy. 33 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:02,670 From Arson Boy. Can't even get a churro? 34 00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,370 Can't even get a churro? 35 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,800 I know, I know. You jerk, man. 36 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,800 You hurt my butt. I know, I know. 37 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,300 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 38 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:22,840 Not with me. 39 00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:24,780 Where? 40 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,220 Just follow my lead. 41 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:27,800 Okay. 42 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,840 Uh, so, uh, Kid Danger and I are gonna go, uh, use the bathroom together. 43 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:34,340 Nope. Yep. 44 00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:38,120 So, uh, don't come looking for us for a long time. 45 00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:39,760 But, dude, I'm not gonna use the bathroom. 46 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:44,920 It's kind of dark in here, dude. 47 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,920 Welcome to the Manics. 48 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,440 What's the Manics? 49 00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:02,960 Secret room where I hang out when everyone's bugging me. And I'm Jasper 50 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,180 Charlotte Schwoz. Up until today, you. Fair. 51 00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:12,000 So... What do you think? 52 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,340 I love this place, and I never want to leave. 53 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,580 This whole place is secret, dude. 54 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:21,400 Secret chairs, secret wings, secret sauce. 55 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,300 Nobody knows it's here. 56 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,380 Oh, there you guys are! No! 57 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:27,920 Oh! 58 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,120 What is this room? 59 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:30,960 Jasper, what are you doing here? 60 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,800 Look, Zed's baby beard just fell out. You guys want to touch it? No, I don't 61 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:34,539 want to touch it! 62 00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:35,540 It's gross! 63 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,540 Jasper! What if Zed has to put the beard under his pillow, or the beard fairy 64 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:40,478 won't come? 65 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,480 Why don't you show him Ray and Henry? 66 00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,950 What is this room? Just get out of here and stop asking questions. 67 00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:47,370 I have a question. 68 00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:51,110 Is it cool if my cousin Larry borrows your toothbrush? 69 00:03:51,790 --> 00:03:53,410 No. Too late. 70 00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:56,490 Hey, what is this room? 71 00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:58,690 It's a secret room and it's ours. 72 00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:00,210 Well, I want a secret room. 73 00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:00,829 Me too. 74 00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:04,430 With wings and a chair and a poster of fighter pilots with a picture of my face 75 00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:05,430 taped over one of them. 76 00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:07,950 Go make your own room. 77 00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:11,250 This room is for crime fighters only. 78 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,399 help fight crime? 79 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:23,200 Of course you help, you know, but we're out there fighting arson bullets. That's 80 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,020 right. Okay, so unless you got torched by a 12 -year -old with a flamethrower, 81 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,120 get out. 82 00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:29,979 I'm not leaving. 83 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:30,980 Come on, let's go. 84 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:39,640 Some people just 85 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:40,640 don't know their place. 86 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:43,920 Fuck. 87 00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:55,430 I wanted an after -school job, but then an indestructible superhero hired me to 88 00:04:55,430 --> 00:04:59,030 be his sidekick. Now we blow bubbles and fight crime. 89 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:00,270 Feels good. 90 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,500 I lit the... I'll get it. 91 00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:49,660 Oh, Piper, what'd you do? No! 92 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:53,840 Thanks for the help, Dad. 93 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,059 You're welcome. 94 00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:56,300 That wasn't a real thing. 95 00:05:56,860 --> 00:05:58,080 It was a fake thing. 96 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,360 Which my tone implied. 97 00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:02,340 How can I help you, officers? 98 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:06,560 Your daughter Piper here is in big trouble. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 99 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,419 sorry, officers. 100 00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:08,440 Yeah, I'm just trying to... 101 00:06:08,730 --> 00:06:11,550 Take this karaoke machine to work, and I feel like if I hear what you have to 102 00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:14,770 say, I'll get involved, so excuse me. Excuse me, Dad. Excuse me. Thank you. 103 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,510 I am... Excuse me, John. 104 00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:20,850 What'd you do? 105 00:06:21,030 --> 00:06:22,030 Jaywalk? Litter? 106 00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:23,710 Steal a rich girl's pony? 107 00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:26,150 She hit me with a cock. 108 00:06:26,410 --> 00:06:27,570 Ooh, that's new. 109 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:33,390 You were standing in the middle of the street. She was doing the Waikiki 110 00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:34,390 challenge. 111 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,460 I'm sorry. What is the Y -T -Key challenge? 112 00:06:37,820 --> 00:06:41,440 It's where one cop takes a video of their partner hula dancing around the 113 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,220 car. I was mid -hula when your daughter plowed over me. 114 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,480 I said I was sorry. 115 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,060 So are we. Now we gotta do a bunch of paperwork. 116 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,100 Plus, we gotta make all that soup. 117 00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:53,340 Yeah. 118 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:54,920 Because of Piper? 119 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,260 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. See, once a week when squad car makes soup for all 120 00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:00,199 the other officers. 121 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,200 Tomorrow's our turn. 122 00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:03,200 Oh, man, it's going to be an all -nighter. 123 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:09,800 Anyway, we just wanted to bring her by so you could give her a hug before we 124 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,680 take her to jail. I appreciate it. 125 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:12,960 Bring it in. 126 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,640 You're going to do great in jail. 127 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,200 Wait. What if I made the soup? 128 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,980 What are you saying, baby girl? 129 00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:26,580 You guys need soup. I need to not go to jail. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 130 00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:28,860 You trying to bribe us with soup? 131 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,240 What? No, I was... Because if you are... 132 00:07:31,790 --> 00:07:35,510 When? Yeah. I mean, if you're half as good at making soup as you are running 133 00:07:35,510 --> 00:07:38,070 over cops, I can't wait the day. I can't wait. 134 00:07:39,370 --> 00:07:40,289 Well, great. 135 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:44,090 What kind of soup do you guys want? Doesn't matter. As long as it's scalding 136 00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:47,070 and filled to the tippy top of whatever pot you're cooking it in. 137 00:07:47,370 --> 00:07:49,090 Oh, it will be. Great. 138 00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:52,730 Let's get those cuffs off you. Oh, I took them off in the back of your cop 139 00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:55,810 She's good. 140 00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:57,790 Wow. Yeah. 141 00:07:58,370 --> 00:07:59,390 Wow. Yeah. 142 00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:01,310 Wow. 143 00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:13,290 We need to get to the mysterious key that we think leads to a treasure chest. 144 00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:17,130 No, no, no. I'm just trying to get this karaoke machine to a secret room, okay, 145 00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:20,930 Larry? Yeah, but we think the key opens a magic chest full of treasure. If I 146 00:08:20,930 --> 00:08:23,830 listen, I'll end up involved, and I do not want that. 147 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:49,680 I have one right here. 148 00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:50,940 Great question. 149 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,500 So, uh, turn your machine off so I can go back to singing. 150 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:57,440 It's not on. 151 00:08:58,060 --> 00:08:59,200 Where's that music coming from? 152 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:01,099 Schwoz's family? 153 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,920 Nah, it's definitely not them. They found a magic key or something. 154 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,440 Don't tell me. I don't want to get involved. 155 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,140 Smart. Come on. 156 00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:08,420 Let's follow that tune. 157 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:14,060 I think I can make it to your party. 158 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,580 if I can make enough soup to pay off the cops. 159 00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:23,900 Piper, you can't use every can we have to make your bribe soup. 160 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:25,640 Can I call you back? 161 00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:27,660 Yeah, it's him. 162 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,680 The cops said that it has to be filled to the tippy top. 163 00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:34,980 Does that look like the tippy top to you? 164 00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:38,340 It's pretty close. 165 00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:39,720 Do you want me to go to jail? 166 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,960 You know, sometimes I think that you want me to go to jail. 167 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,160 I don't want you to go to jail. 168 00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:50,000 Then hand me that can. 169 00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:54,900 Piper, you can't put this in there. 170 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,780 It's creamed pot. 171 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,560 You can put anything in soup. It's just got to be wet. 172 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,520 Ladies and gentlemen. 173 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,440 Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. 174 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,840 Ladies and gentlemen. 175 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,380 Ladies and gentlemen. 176 00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:42,220 Ladies and 177 00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:49,500 gentlemen. 178 00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:04,960 Is that a party -sized churro? 179 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:06,720 Meals, meals. 180 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:12,520 This is a fiesta -sized churro, and you guys can't have any. 181 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:16,260 Yeah, this room is for non -crime fighters only. 182 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:35,540 Let's make a deal. 183 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,440 What kind of a deal? 184 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:44,940 You guys get to keep your room all to yourselves. Love it. Hate it. Okay, I'm 185 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:45,940 not done. 186 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,240 I'm not done. 187 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:53,880 Me and Ray, we get to keep our room all to ourselves. Still love it all the 188 00:11:53,880 --> 00:12:00,540 time. But, but, Ray and I take the fiesta -sized churro with us. Yes, 189 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,240 yes. Yes, we get the churro. 190 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:05,590 Deal. Deal. 191 00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:06,670 Yes! Yes! 192 00:12:07,050 --> 00:12:08,050 Yeah, 193 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:15,150 you can take the churro. 194 00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:18,030 Nice. Then you buy it from my car! 195 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:44,970 I'm going to blow up the man cave. 196 00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:52,050 Should I follow him or? 197 00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:53,730 We should all follow him. 198 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,880 just say, Larry? How about I just say? 199 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,760 Ray? 200 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,560 What is that thing? 201 00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:33,060 It's the Man Cave self -destruct button. 202 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:39,300 In the case of dire emergency, or if I need to prove a point, I press this 203 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,340 and it starts a countdown clock, and when that clock says zero, the Man Cave 204 00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:43,340 says boom. 205 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:48,760 Ray? Do not blow up the Man Cave. Oh, I won't have to. They're gonna back down. 206 00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:50,650 This is how the big boys negotiate. Trust me. 207 00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:54,470 I do not trust you. Well, you better trust me, Henry, or I will blow up the 208 00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:55,730 cave! I'm gonna gut you! 209 00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:57,070 See, that's how it works. 210 00:13:57,650 --> 00:13:58,650 Hey, no! 211 00:13:58,690 --> 00:13:59,770 Don't blow up the man cave! 212 00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,630 You can have our room. No, he can't. What are you saying? 213 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:09,870 I am a 214 00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:12,650 shallow, impulsive, immature man -child. 215 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:17,690 So you will apologize to both of us and make us a fiesta site. Sure, I will blow 216 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,690 this whole thing... 217 00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:23,250 I will hit this button myself before I apologize to you. 218 00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:27,830 Well, I will blow up the man cave if we don't all stop fighting. 219 00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:32,410 We're friends. If we can't get along, then we don't deserve a man cave. Well, 220 00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:36,790 don't think that anybody should blow up the man cave ever for any reason, and I 221 00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:39,270 actually think we should just take our hands away from the button, okay? Well, 222 00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:40,270 I... 223 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,960 really gonna self -destruct um yeah 224 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,040 Unless you want to go to jail. Run away. 225 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,620 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 226 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,720 She's got to carry it herself. 227 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,740 And she can't spill a drop. 228 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:49,660 Really? 229 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,060 Not one drop? 230 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,400 Nope. That's the law. 231 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,660 That doesn't sound like the law. 232 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,430 We blew up the man cave. 233 00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:42,830 Yeah. We did. 234 00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:46,930 You maniacs! 235 00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:49,470 You blew it up! 236 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:52,390 Oh, dang you! 237 00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:56,090 Gosh dang you all as well! 238 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:07,350 I can't believe you didn't spill a drop during that weird, poorly timed 239 00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:08,350 earthquake. 240 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:14,000 really not want to go to jail i sure don't sign the papers and officially 241 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:19,520 possession of the soup if you're cooking it's half as good as your balance the 242 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,860 whole station's gonna eat well tonight 243 00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:51,740 This is worse than the other ones. 244 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,280 I know. 245 00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:56,940 What other ones? 246 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:01,720 Oh, the other man caves we've blown up. Schwoz built, like, ten of them? 247 00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:03,020 Yeah. 248 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,740 I'm terribly sorry, what? 249 00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:11,440 I didn't build just one man cave. 250 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,020 Ray is very irresponsible. 251 00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:14,540 It's true. 252 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:20,000 So I built one man cave and nine spears. man caves, each one below the other. 253 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:25,000 Let's see, we start with ten man caves, we've blown up five so far, which 254 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,040 leaves... Hey! 255 00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:27,580 Hey! 256 00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:31,000 What do you mean you've blown up five man caves so far? 257 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,780 Well, the first one was an accident, granted. 258 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,920 Second one was a prank, got on Barry wrong. 259 00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:42,560 Third one got invaded by mole people. I hate mole people. 260 00:19:43,060 --> 00:19:46,760 Wait, mole people are real? Yes, and they are impossible to get rid of. 261 00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:52,040 Fourth one, I saw this spider, right? 262 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,640 I went to get a tissue. I turned around. Couldn't find it for the life of me, so 263 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,640 obviously. 264 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,120 Fifth one got blown up over a churro. 265 00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:04,760 Oh, you guys were there for that one. 266 00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:11,860 Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you're saying that there's more man caves right below this 267 00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:12,900 one? Yeah. 268 00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:17,540 Yeah. I wouldn't risk blowing up our only man cave over a churro. That'd be 269 00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:18,540 crazy. 270 00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:22,290 to see the new man cave. 271 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,430 He's got that new man cave smell. 272 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,830 This is amazing. 273 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,090 It looks exactly the same. 274 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:54,750 Sure does. 275 00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:55,870 Yeah. 276 00:20:56,730 --> 00:21:00,670 Okay, first things first. Let's put that self -destruct button away before 277 00:21:00,670 --> 00:21:01,930 somebody accidentally hits it again. 278 00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:05,550 What's that? 279 00:21:05,790 --> 00:21:06,810 It's a gold parcel. 280 00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:09,110 People never die! 281 00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:13,530 Man -made self -destruct activated. 282 00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:18,590 Back in the elevator, people. 283 00:21:26,350 --> 00:21:27,530 Here's your bribe receipt. 284 00:21:28,090 --> 00:21:29,090 Thank you. 285 00:21:29,130 --> 00:21:30,430 Do I smell pumpkin? 286 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,210 Cream. 287 00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:33,370 I love that. 288 00:21:34,470 --> 00:21:35,470 Easy, Walnut. 289 00:21:35,630 --> 00:21:37,950 Let's wait until we get that soup down to the station. 20245