All language subtitles for Henry Danger s04e09 Budget Cuts

Okay, guys, you can wait right in here,
and the vice mayor will be in to see you

shortly. Sounds good. Yeah, shortly.

Would you like some bottled water while
you wait?

Nah, thanks. Water's gross.

Yeah, I'll have some bottled water.

Sure, would you like it cold or room
temperature?

Why don't you surprise me?

Okay, I'll be right back.

Yes, I'll remain here.

Hey, what do you think this thing is?

Uh, that's just a paperweight.

Are you sure?

What's that good?

Hello there, Captain Man and Kid Dench.

Oh, your, uh, your paperweight, uh...
Your paperweight failed.

Anyway, I have a seat, fellas. We need
to have a little chit -chat. Yes. All

right. Seat right here. Let's chit.

Shit the old shacks, as they say.

Now... I've called you here because...
Excuse me, Vice Mayor Willard. Ah,

of course.

Captain Man, your bottled water.

Ah, yes.

Thank you.

You said to surprise me with the
temperature, so I put the bottle in the

microwave.

This is Cassie, my niece.

They took away my scissors.

That'll be all, Cassie.

So, Vice Mayor, what did you want to
talk to us about?

Well, in a word, budget cuts.

That's two words.

You see, boys, the city of Swellview is
low on money.

What? Why would Swellview be low on
money? Two words. Our new high -speed

railroad.

He is terrible at counting words.

You see, our new high -speed rail
project is costing the taxpayers $10

What? I know.

Pretty stupid, right? Yeah.

Anyway, we're building it.

So, that means we won't have money for
other things, such as crime -fighting.

Which is why we're cutting your budget
by 90%. 90 %? For what?

What is he saying? He's saying they're
going to take away almost all the money

we get from the city, which we need to
run our crime -fighting operation.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

There's some good news, too.

Look, I got you guys two tickets to our
new high -speed railroad.

Nobody wants to ride on a railroad.

Good. Because it won't be ready until
the year 2059.

I'll be long dead by then.

Cassie, get out of here. All right, all
right, all right.

Calm down.

Settle down.

You're tickling my wrist.

Just take her to the basement.

Who would like some bottled water? No
one. Not me.

Vice Mayor, you can't cut our budget by
90%. Sure I can.

I'm the Vice Mayor, not the nice mayor.

What? Yeah, but we need that money to
run the man cave. You know, all that

equipment. And to buy fuel for the man
copter. I mean, come on. How are we

supposed to fight crime and keep this
city safe if you take away all of our

money? Good questions, for which I have
no answer.

You boys want some strudel?

I'll see you, Cassie.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted
an after -school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be
his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.
Feels good.

Okay,

let's get started.

Today in the man cave, we're going to be
talking about budget cuts.

What does it mean?

Charlotte? That our budget's been cut?

Yeah. And since the city of Swellview
isn't going to be giving us nearly

money to fight crime anymore, we're
going to need to make some changes

here. Oh, well, show them what you made
me do to the snack machine. I was just

about to talk about that.

The auto snacker is no longer free, as I
will now demonstrate.

Tuna pot pie.

Tuna pot pie, $15.

$15? All right, tuna pot pie, dude.
Well, tough tuna.

We don't have enough money for employees
to get free food anymore.

Now, next.

Going to the bathroom here will no
longer be free. No way. That's illegal.

You're going to charge us to pee?

Well, yeah.

Stuff like water and toilet paper and
cheese cost money.

Who eats cheese in the bathroom?

That's what I want to know.

Oh, I'm weird because I like eating
cheese in the bathroom?

Okay, if we really try to save some
money, then why don't we make Schwoz

using our crime -fighting budget to buy
all kinds of crazy stuff for himself?

Yeah, Schwoz, you're always using the
company credit card for your personal

self. No, I do not do that.

Oh, don't you?

Well, then why don't I just read off
some of the things you spent our money

last month?

No, why do you pay me for me?

Okay, last month, Schwoz charged $350
for a gym membership to

some place called Fatness to Fitness.

I need it so I can get the big muscles.

Yeah, and how does you belonging to a
gym help us fight crime?

Well, what if you and Ray get captured?
I might have to spring into action.

Okay,

okay. And how many times have you
actually been to this gym you joined?

I don't know.

Months? Yeah.

When?

Tomorrow.

All right, Schwoz, you're going to pay
us back every dollar that you spent on

yourself. No, I don't have enough money
to pay it all back.

Get a second job.

Hey, my dad's looking for a handyman to
do some work around the house.

Hush up, I'm not doing that. Hush up,
yes you are, Schwoz.

Why don't you make me... Put on a
disguise, drive over to Henry's house,

do any job that Henry's silly father
wants you to do.

Whatever money you make.

You bring it back here and you give it
to me.

Maybe. What? Nothing. I didn't say
nothing.

Ray, the vice mayor cut our budget by
90%. So? I know. So?

So you really think we're going to make
that money back by paying for snacks and

by charging us to use the bathroom? And
by making Schwarzberg part -time jobs?

No.

But I have an idea.

A way for us to make more money.

Why are you doing that with your tongue?

Captain Madden, Kid Danger. Thank God
you're here.

Please, our daughter's stuck up in the
tree.

Help! Get me down!

Kid, why don't you go ahead and climb up
that tree, get the girl, and bring her

down here.

All right, I'm all over it.

How are you?

I'm going again. Go again.

Now, don't worry.

Kid Danger, we'll have your little girl
down here in just a few minutes. Thank

you so much. Thank you, Captain Man.

And while we're waiting, we can go ahead
and settle up your bill.

Our... our bill?

Mm -hmm.

Now, let's see.

We drove over here. That was a 22 -mile
drive.

Wait, you're charging us money? To
rescue our daughter?

Well, yeah.

I mean, you pay your gardener when he
gardens your garden, don't you?

You pay your babysitter to sit with your
babies?

So why would you complain about paying
two superheroes for saving your

daughter's life?

Okay, there's no way we're paying you to
rescue our child. No chance.

Oh, really?

Okay, she's coming down. No, no, no,
kids, wait. Just wait a sec.

Oh, baby.

is done.

No, it's not done.

What are you talking about? They refuse
to pay.

So we're putting the girl back up in the
tree.

Come on, seriously. Girl, back in the
tree. Okay,

I'm

finished.

It's finished?

Did you say you're already finished?

Yeah, yeah. You want to try it out? Oh,
heck yeah, I do. You have no idea how

many years I've wanted to be able to dim
my lights.

Okay, yeah, great.

Here I go.

Oh, man, it's like I'm on Star Wars.

That's enough.

Talk to anybody.

Oh, okay.

Oh, fine. I'll tell you why I'm upset.

Actually, now I'd rather not know why
you're... So, you know how I'm having

girls for my class over here tomorrow
for high tea?

No. Well, I am. And the interpretive
dancer we hired canceled.

Well, why do you need an interpretive
dancer?

Because you can't have high tea without
classy entertainment.

And there's nothing classier than
interpretive dancing.

Uh...

How much money were you girls going to
pay this interpretive dancer?

A hundred bucks.

And for you.

Oh, Piper, this is Milos, our new
handyman.

Yeah, yeah, but I'm also an interpretive
dancer.

You are?

For a hundred bucks, I am.

Grace said we can't turn on the air
conditioning because it costs too much

money.

What's wrong with Charlotte?

I think she has food poisoning.

I do have food poisoning!

I feel like I'm about to throw up.

Although, look at this.

Henry's father gave me some food to take
home. You want some Indian seafood

chowder? No!

Get used to it.

Why do you have an alligator?

Because he crawled into the playground
at Swellview Elementary School.

Yeah. Guess who had to go capture it?
Us.

And then Ray charged the little kids 11
bucks to get him out.

I would have got more, but that's all
they had.

Why did you bring him here?

Why didn't you take him to animal
control?

Because there is no more animal control.

A dumb vice mayor cut their budget, too.

Guys, please don't let the alligator eat
me.

Char, what's going on? What's wrong?

I ate bad meat from the auto snacker.

Why did the auto snacker have bad meat?

Because Ray told me to stock it with the
cheapest meat I could find.

So what kind did you buy?

Expired. What?

not using air conditioning, babysitting
alligators, taking money from little

kids, eating bad meat.

Oh, my God.

That's it. That's it.

What does what?

We're not taking this anymore.

We're going to go downtown.

We're going to march right into the vice
mayor's office and tell him that he

better give us our full budget back or
else we're going to

Why? So he doesn't kill you.

Got it.

I'm so

mad.

Yeah,

I see it.

Oh, my God.

Kid Danger.

So cute.

Hey.

What's up? Hi, Kid Danger.

Why are you in that stupid car?

Bye.

Yeah, why are we in Schwoz's stupid car?

Why can't we take the Man's Am?

Uh, because this car gets 52 miles per
gallon. You know how many miles per

gallon the Man's Am gets?

One. What?

I'm sorry, okay? I just want the vice
mayor to give us our money back, you

You know what?

Why don't we practice?

Practice? Yeah, like rehearse.

Okay, yeah. Like you be you and I'll be
the vice mayor. Yeah, okay, yeah, I like

it. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. All
right.

Okay, I'm going to go in there.

I'm going to go, listen, vice mayor.

Yeah, I'm going to point at him, grab
his throat. No, no, no, don't grab his

throat. No, I'll just point at him and
I'll say, well, we need that money,

I don't know.

It's like a bunch of used dental floss.

What the?

Is that Betty? Please help me!

Vice Mayor?

Look, Cassie, we just want to talk.
Yeah, why don't you just tell us why

so upset, huh?

Sure.

I'm upset because my stupid uncle vice
mayor said that from now on when I'm

at work, I have to pay.

Dude, I don't think that's such a good
idea.

Don't worry, I got a plan.

Okay, well, what's your plan? Just play
along with whatever I say. Okay.

What are you guys whispering about?

Uh, we're whispering about this pulse
grenade!

And in 45 seconds, it's gonna blow this
whole room to smithereens.

Reeds. What?

Smithereens. Smithereens.

Smithereens, but...

And then kaboom. Don't make us explode
you.

I can't. He can't.

You better run. Yeah. Or you may never
have lunch ever again.

Seven. Six.

pulse grenade go off oh god see i used
my thumb here make it look like there

were only 45 seconds but i actually said
it for two minutes and 45 seconds hey

hey come on can somebody please

pull me up

We would help you, but... See, since you
cut our budget, we have to charge money

now for superhero... thing.

Well, how much to pull me up into my
office?

Uh, let's see. That'll cost you... Our
full budget.

What? Oh, come on.

Yeah.

If you want to be rescued, you've got to
give us our full budget back.

Plus 10%. Plus 10%. And a boat. And a
nice boat.

you can have your full budget back.

one of your shoes.

Oh, good.

Hey, who wants some bottled water?

Ah, Cassie, there's more to life than
bottled water.

Hey, what's that beeping?

I don't know.

Uh, dude, did you forget to turn off the
pulse grenade?