Original subtitles

Hey.

Oh, hey, Han.

Hey, Char.

Oh, how was your student council meeting?

Oh, it was really good.

Next semester, we're planning a bake sale to raise money. Wow, that sounds

great.

All right.

It's almost 4 o 'clock. We better get to work.

Oh, no, we're good. Piper's going to drive us.

No. I don't like it when Piper drives us.

Why? She has a driver's license.

Only because the state gave her one by mistake.

It's still valid.

Is that Piper? Yeah.

Hey, Piper, quit honking the horn.

Love you, too.

All right, where's Jasper?

Still in detention.

What's he in for anyway?

Driscoll violation.

Oh, not a belly shirt.

Belly shirt.

All right, the door's open. Now get out of here.

That's right.

You're all disappointments.

Hey, guys.

Why are you wearing a pink sweater?

Oh, this is Miss Shapins. She made me put it on since my crop top shirt was a

dress code violation.

Well, why'd you wear a crop top shirt when you know it's against the rules?

Because I should have the right to let my belly button breathe and be free.

I don't think that's a right.

It might be a wrong.

And why do you have those?

Oh, I think these are built into the sweater.

You think?

Hey, will you guys hurry up?

I'm parked in a handicapped spot.

You're not supposed to do that.

I'm also not supposed to have a driver's license, but I do.

All right, just a sec.

Yeah, okay.

Oh, hey, hey, hey.

Guess who was in detention with me? We don't care. I don't want to.

Michelle Bilski.

No way.

Bish? I thought Bish was in jail.

They let her out.

Who's Bish Bilski? A girl with a bad attitude.

And she's crazy. A lunatic. Yeah. Remember in fifth grade when Bish put

scorpion in miss shapen's purse yeah and then miss shapen reached inside and the

scorpion bit her and then she yelled ah bish bish what did you do

oh really oh really you think i don't got ears

oh hey bish you shut up all right

i was talking to that

I heard you say my name and laugh it up.

Oh, oh, see, I was just saying I was funny. Oh, I'm funny?

Is that it?

Do you find me hilarious?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, what, you think I got no sense of humor?

Okay, ladies, listen, I think there's a little misunderstanding here, okay?

Okay.

It doesn't matter. You know what?

You just keep her here.

Just keep her here.

Hey, what are you doing? You know what I'm doing.

I'm going to introduce bitch to Kid Danger and show her what's what.

You know race rule. You can't use Kid Danger to solve your own personal

problems. You saw what she did. She fell over me.

Give me the gum. No.

Give me the gum. No, I don't want to. Do what's right.

Help out Charlotte. Okay, help me tip it over. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, you tipped me over.

Okay,

that's

it, Michelle.

You just violated at least four school rules when you put me in that trash can.

Yeah. Does she look recyclable?

Eh, she looks stupid.

Hey, watch it.

No!

All right, go. All right, all right.

What's going on in this school hallway?

Nothing. I'll tell you what's going on. Yeah, a fight between Charlotte and

Bish. No!

I'm down for a fight. Hey, the rules say no fighting in this school during

school hours.

Oh, well, if that's a rule.

So if you girls are going to have a street fight in this school, you got to

it here before 8 a .m.

Cool with me.

Wait a second. Okay.

Monday morning, 730.

Charlotte's going to take you down, Michelle.

Looking forward to it.

You still wearing my special sweater? You made me put it on.

Well, I have a date, so give it.

Okay.

Oh, you popped my favorite one!

Well, that's it.

Monday at 7 .30 a .m.? My life is over!

No, it's not, okay?

She's not so tough.

Yeah, besides...

Strength isn't about the size of your muscles.

It's about what's in here.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after -school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

get a baseball bat. No, no.

I just want to forget about fish, okay, and that stupid fight that Piper got me

into, okay?

I'm not going to be... Ah,

kids.

Hey, Ray, you may even want to tell us what's going on.

Sure. We are about to get you ready for the brawly...

The, uh, Bish Bilski and Charlotte fight?

No, how would Ray know about that?

Have you guys not seen the news?

What news?

Uh, this?

And finally, this story from Swellview High School.

Notorious bad girl Bish Bilski was released from jail only two weeks ago,

she's already stirring up a ruckus.

That's right, Trent. According to our high school informant, there's gonna be

big... nasty fight.

Apparently, Bish will be pummeling a local teenage girl named Charlotte

something on Monday morning just before school.

Wow.

But I don't want to fight. I don't have to fight if I don't want to fight,

right?

But don't worry, because I have brought you the best personal

combat instructors who'd come here for free.

Guys, this is Sensei Juke, a multi -degree black belt in shishito, pad

quinoa.

Now, this man here is Harley Burch.

He may look out of shape, but don't let the flab fool you.

What the heck is this?

Oh, they were my car keys.

I'm gonna just put them back here in my flab.

Who's that person?

Ah, this is Kevin.

Kevin, no!

You don't do that until I say it's okay!

What's the matter with this guy? Ah, stop it!

Stop it! Twice! Drop, drop, drop.

You see, Kevin is a street fighter.

He utilizes any items or objects he can find in the streets.

Um,

aren't items and objects the same thing?

What have I told you about sass?

Sorry. Now, we're all going to work together to turn you into a rad, bad,

bish -busting machette.

I don't want to... Music!

That is my love mix.

Here we go.

Upbeat montage!

Why do I have to wear a blindfold?

Because you can't use your super fast reflexes. And one, and two, and press,

kick. Nice.

And now.

You all right? No.

He's all right.

I can't believe it. I can really fight.

Yeah, but now I want to see how you do again.

you should stop the music.

Yeah.

What happened?

You see, Charlotte, you can't learn everything about fighting in one three

-minute montage.

You can't.

Well, then, what was all this training for?

That's, uh... That's a fair question.

Hey, where you going?

Home.

Oh, come on. You can't help me. You don't know how. You're so small. I said

don't want your help or anyone else's. Understand?

All right. Okay. We won't help you.

Thank you.

Who here?

You can't charge us to walk into school.

Ten bucks!

Ten!

Piper, is Bish here? I need to... Oh, I see her.

Hey, can I please talk to you?

What? I want to talk to you about not fighting my friend. I'm busy.

Come on, please.

Talk to me in here.

Unless you're afraid.

I want to talk to you so did he

Other people. Am I right?

Tell me.

Come on.

Who hurt you?

It was my stupid cousin, Sharice.

Okay.

Tell me about stupid Sharice.

I don't want to talk about her.

It's okay.

This is a safe closet.

Come on, Michelle.

Talk to me.

It happened in third grade.

What happened?

Girl, I'm telling you! Right, right.

Sorry.

It happened at my birthday party. I was turning 12.

What? You were turning 12 in the third grade?

Uh -huh. Nothing wrong with that.

Anyway, the day before my party, I...

fell off my rollerblades, and I knocked my tooth out.

This one, right here, up front.

Oh, that must have looked kind of weird, huh?

Yeah.

Here's a pic.

Okay.

Then one of the girls pointed at me, and she said... You

can tell me.

She said, look, it's Bish, the toothless doofus.

And then everybody started laughing. And Cherie, she just laughed along with the

rest of them. And that's when I knew, if you can't count on your best friend,

you can't count on anybody.

Since then, I've never had a friend.

Fish, look at me.

I'll be your friend.

Nah, you're just saying that because you don't want me to rip your head off your

body.

Well, that's true. I don't want you to rip my head off my body.

But I also want to be your friend.

Do you want that too?

Yes, please.

Fish! Fish!

Could you maybe hug me a little?

and don't move.

But that's the same thing.

What?

That's the kind of sass I'm talking about.

Hi, Captain Manica Danger.

What brings you here when it seems like you don't even need to be here?

I'll tell you what brings us here.

A bank robbery.

Yeah.

It happened in the middle of the night.

Fortunately, we were able to track the stolen cash to this very school.

Hey, guys, we got your call.

Good. Uh, yes.

Officers, I think you'll find the stolen cash over there in locker 53.

53?

That's my locker.

Let's check it.

Okay,

why are you guys here?

To help you.

But I told you I didn't want your help.

Oh, well...

You're going to love what we did.

What did you guys do?

We, uh... We robbed the Swellview Bank.

We robbed that bank.

Why?

So we could get a big bag of cash.

And then, last night, around 4 a .m., we snuck in here and we put the big bag of

cash in Bishop's locker.

And then we...

cop which is why they're here you framed bitch yeah

so now she'll get arrested and you won't have to fight her but i already fixed

it so i don't have to fight her i talked to her and now we're friends oh

uh well that that is new information

Best of this time, Michelle.

But I didn't put that in there.

Oh, you're just holding it for a friend? Come on, let's go.