Original subtitles

[alarm sirens blaring]

[woman on PA] The volcano has erupted.

Repeat, the volcano has erupted.

EPISODE 16: THAT'S, LIKE, WAY DEADLY

All residents must leave immediately,

until the evacuation order has been lifted.

[residents whispering]

Your lives and safety take priority over your belongings.

The volcano has erupted.

Repeat, the volcano has erupted.

[Naki] See? Told ya!

We weren't sacrificin' folks for nothin'!

We kept the Great Serpent happy

so he'd protect this place from that damn volcano!

[gasping]

So much for that plan.

The Great Serpent's dead, and so's the town.

And it's your fault, jackass!

[Momo gasping]

[Naki] "A dragon rising to heaven will cast a rainbow,

and the wrath of the mountain will engulf the village."

Now it's gonna blow, like the old legend said!

Now what? It's your fault this happened. Fix it!

[Kito brothers] Yeah!

[Momo thinks] Something's off.

- Worms hate being above ground. - [eerie music playing]

[Momo] The sun dries 'em up.

So how come the legend says it's gonna "rise to heaven"?

[Naki] Well? Whatcha gonna do about this mess?

[Kito brothers] Yeah! What?

[Momo] That old legend wasn't talking about your Great Serpent!

[Naki] What?

[Momo] The dragon rising to heaven is a geyser!

In olden times, a geyser could be seen as a sign the volcano's about to blow.

- I bet the folks here thought that. - [growls]

[Momo] And I bet that's why they came up with that old legend.

Over time, the interpretation got all twisted around.

[male voice] People who couldn't think straight 'cause they were afraid.

People whose fear made them do things like sacrifice kids.

I'm here to tell the story

and keep folks from going back to the old ways of doin' things.

The bad ways.

Then this is your fault, and you're gonna make this right.

We need a sacrifice, and you're it!

Ah, blow me. Your volcano drama ain't my fault.

And, far as I'm concerned,

y'all can suck it!

[dynamic music playing]

[Naki] Damn you to hell!

How dare you go and defile the Great Serpent's corpse?

- [Momo] Shut your hole! - [Naki] Get back here! Get back here!

- [Momo] Stay outta my way! - [Naki] Ya can't run forever!

- [Momo] Yes, I can! - [Naki] Get her, you turd! Get her!

[Momo grunts]

[yells]

[wailing]

If you think you can treat the Great Serpent like a joke,

ya gots another think coming!

[yelling]

DO NOT ENTER

[Momo continues yelling]

Glug, glug, bitch!

[panting]

[whispers] Okay.

Water main's a go!

[yelling]

[Kito brother 1] Look! There she goes! Get her!

[brother 2] Hey, you miserable...

[Momo panting]

If that lava swallows the village,

folks'll think the Great Serpent legend is real!

The last think I freakin' need are those dumbass Kitos sayin' they were right.

[panting]

[rumbling]

From butt to mouth, all this thing is

is one long tube!

All right, worm. Here we go!

Let's hose it down!

[song in Japanese playing]

DAN DA DAN

♪ Dan, Dan, Da Da Dan... ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

♪ Dan, Dan, Da Da Dan... ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

♪ Dan Da Dan, Da Dan... ♪

[lyrics in Japanese]

[rumbling]

[dramatic music playing]

Soak it! Yeah!

Go!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

The worm goo's doin' awesome so far!

[dynamic music playing]

Gah! There's still a ton of lava left to deal with.

It's startin' wildfires all over the place, too.

- [crashing] - [grunts]

[Momo screams]

- [groans] - [Naki] Hah!

[moans] What the hell?

[all yelp]

We've had it with you disrespectin' the Great Serpent!

Would you jerks quit gettin' in the way? I'm tryin' to stop the lava.

[Naki] It's our family's job to protect this here land!

And no outsiders are getting in our way!

Now, our Great Volcano Lord needs a sacrifice, and you're gonna be it!

That's pretty cold, switching gods like that!

Old one's only been dead a few minutes!

Shut up, you heathen!

[grunts]

[dynamic music continues]

[yelling]

[groaning]

[gasps]

[man] Yo, I'm super sorry.

When you showed up at the temple,

I had no idea you were my master's grandkid.

[Momo gasps]

The headstandin', BooTubin' priest!

That's me.

My master called me about you a week ago.

Three squirts are comin' to your neck of the woods.

So keep an eye on 'em, will ya?

- Thanks. - [priest] Wait. Who are--

And that's what she told me.

Grandma's your master?

[priest] Wish I was a BooTuber.

This whole week, you were the only person who came to the shrine.

But you were asking about tsuchinoko.

SHRINE OF THE GREAT SERPENT

So I thought you were just another tourist.

Except I wasn't.

Ya lousy, rotten priest!

I always hated ya, ya bastard!

I shoulda known you'd be in cahoots with this bitch.

I can handle these goons. You need to stop the lava and put out the fire!

- Hah! - [grunts]

Thanks! I owe you one.

[grunts]

Up we go!

[groans]

Holy crap! Feels like this sucker got heavier!

I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

I hope I don't get all woozy and start passin' out like I did before.

[gasps]

Oh no. You're kidding!

[high-pitched ringing]

[all exclaiming]

[Momo shrieks]

- [high-pitched ringing] - [grunts]

[brothers yelling]

Jiji!

[whooshing]

[creaking]

- [Jiji grunts] - [Naki yells]

Jiji! Stop it!

[Momo and Naki groan]

[priest groans]

[Jiji] Hah!

Hah!

[music fades]

- [grunts] That was close. - [whimpers]

[Jiji] Damn you. Always getting in my way.

And now that you have my attention, I will kill you.

Would you quit talkin' about killing people?

Jiji's not a murderer, got it?

What did you do with Okarun?

Well, say somethin'.

I only speak when I wish to about the things I wish to speak about.

Like how hungry I am.

[Momo gasping]

This is bad. He's tougher than I thought.

Dude's gonna straight-up kill me. This is all way over my head.

This is all your fault, ya damn outsiders.

All you've done is bring nothin' but trouble to our village!

[Momo] Shut up, will ya? We don't got time for none of your BS!

We gotta work together!

- [priest] Yeah. - [Naki] Yeah.

[dynamic music playing]

[snarls]

[gasps] Get down!

[all grunt]

[gasps]

- [priest grunts] - [Momo] Whoa!

[crashing]

Jennifer Lopez!

Anaconda!

[high-pitched ringing]

[Jiji roars]

[Naki groans]

Go, priest!

Daisetsuzan Drop!

[crash]

[grunts]

Yo! I got him!

[spirits shrieking]

[gasps] Ouch!

[Jiji grunts]

[groans]

[gasps]

[grunts]

[buzzing]

[Momo] What the...

[high-pitched ringing]

[grunts]

[music fades]

[grunts]

[roaring]

[blows landing]

[Dover Demon] Are you all right, Miss Momo Ayase?

Uh... [gasps]

The... the Mantisian!

I'm here to help.

- Why are you back? Where's your son? - Um, can we talk about it later?

- [whirring] - [Momo gasps]

[Chiquitita] ♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa ♪

- ♪ Pa-pa, pa-pa-pa, paah ♪ - [grumbling]

[Seiko] Could this be any slower?

♪ Pa-pa, descending from the sky ♪

♪ We're children of the stars... ♪

[Momo] Uh...

♪ I'm a being of love and friendship... ♪

- [Seiko] Get an elevator, ya cheap-asses. - ♪ From outer space... ♪

- [Taro screams] - ♪ Let's go! ♪

- Why are we floating? I hate it! - ♪ Let's go, Seiko! Let's go! ♪

- ♪ Let's go, Taro! ♪ - Would ya man up and quit whinin'?

- ♪ Descending from the sky... ♪ - [Taro wailing]

- Put me on the ground, please! - ♪ Children of the stars... ♪

- [wailing] - [Momo] Grandma?

♪ Came in love and friendship ♪

- ♪ Flying to the edge of space... ♪ - [Taro whimpering]

- [Seiko sighs] What a pain in my ass. - ♪ Let's go, let's go, Seiko! ♪

- Again. - ♪ Let's go, let's go, Taro! ♪

♪ Look at all the stars ♪

♪ Fill the sky from end to end ♪

♪ You and me are the bestest of friends ♪

♪ Dan, dan, fly away ♪

- ♪ Far away, fly away beyond the sky ♪ - [grunts]

♪ Flyin' oh, so far, a shootin' star ♪

♪ That carries hopes and dreams ♪

♪ Fly away, far away ♪

♪ Fly away beyond the stars ♪

- ♪ Flyin' oh, so far, a shootin' star... ♪ - Master!

-♪ That carries hopes and dreams ♪ - Manjiro! To-ho-kami-emi-tame!

- Right! - ♪ S-E-I-K-O! ♪

- [Seiko] Charge when I say, Taro! - ♪ Let's go! ♪

- [Taro] Oh, yeah! - ♪ Let's go, Seiko! ♪

- ♪ You can do it, Seiko! ♪ - Let's go, kappa!

- [grunts] - [Mantisian yelling]

[dynamic music playing]

[squeaks]

[Seiko grunts]

[Jiji growls]

- [clang] - [Seiko gasps]

[Jiji roars]

[Seiko yells]

[Jiji yells]

Taro!

["William Tell Overture" playing]

[squeaking]

[Seiko yells]

[roaring]

[Seiko yells]

[Taro roaring]

- [growls] - [Taro yells]

- [train horn blaring] - [roaring]

[continues roaring]

- [Jiji yells] - [music stops]

[crashing]

[gasps]

[quiet music playing]

PEACEFUL PROSPEROUS FAMILY WARD AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE

♪ To-ho-kami-emi-tame ♪

♪ To-ho-kami-emi-tame To-ho-kami-emi-tame ♪

♪ To-ho-kami-emi-tame... ♪

- [Jiji grunting] - [Manjiro] ♪ To-ho-kami-emi-tame ♪

♪ To-ho-kami-emi-tame To-ho-kami-emi-tame ♪

- ♪ To-ho-kami-emi-tame... ♪ - [Jiji groaning]

♪ To-ho-kami-emi-tame ♪

[peaceful ambient music playing]

Caught the bastard.

Let's go home.

[Chiquitita] ♪ Dan, dan, do my part ♪

♪ To help save the town From a lava flow ♪

♪ Gonna use the worm to spray it down ♪

♪ And we'll be good to go ♪

♪ Doin' good, keep it up ♪

♪ I'll be done before you know ♪

♪ I'm a shootin' star With a big worm corpse

♪ Usin' it like a hose ♪

Daddy, am I doing this okay?

It's looking good down here, Chiquitita!

Keep goin', and this fire'll be out in no time!

[Chiquitita] ♪ Dan, dan, stop the fire Put it out... ♪

[Seiko] Kid, I freakin' warned ya.

How could you let it get this bonkers before doin' anything?

Sorry, ma'am!

But your communication skills are not the best.

[Seiko gasps]

You should compliment me for figuring out what to do despite that!

[Seiko] Oh, son of a... Not bad, kid.

Thank you.

[sighs] I should thank our crazy anatomical model too.

Thanks, Taro, for sealin' up that half-naked jackass.

I'm not a storage container!

And what do I do about my damn organs?

You can carry 'em home in a grocery bag or somethin'.

Hey, Momo. Where's four-eyes and the hellcat?

Uh-oh.

Miss Momo was right here a second ago.

[Momo panting]

[Okarun] You need to get out first, and then you can save us!

It's the only way!

There!

Damn it! I can't get my power to work!

Watch out! I got this!

[Momo panting]

[gasping]

Okarun!

[whimpering]

[low rumbling]

[breathing shakily]

[poignant music playing]

I'm sorry, Miss Ayase.

No way.

No way.

[whimpers]

Okarun can't be dead.

[sobs]

[grunts]

Yo, Chiquitita! Aim that slime down on this lava here!

Miss Ayase, what do you think you're gonna do?

I'm going in!

Wait, you what? It's too dangerous! Are you trying to kill yourself?

No, of course I'm not.

But I promised to save Okarun.

He's still down there waiting for me.

[Chiquitita] Hey, lady.

I'm not gonna squirt this worm goop on the lava.

And you don't have to dive in and go swimmin' around in it, neither.

- You can't go dyin' for no reason. - [breathing shakily]

I don't care what you say! I'm saving him!

- Do what I tell ya! - No, Miss Ayase!

He's your kid! Tell him! Hurry up!

Let go, man! Get your hands off of me!

- I gotta save Okarun! I gotta! - [straining]

- [musical whirring] - Huh?

[Momo] Uh...

[gasping]

- [machinery whirring] - [Momo panting]

[grunts]

- [sizzling] - [whimpering]

[straining]

It's not hot at all!

[grunts]

[silence]

- [grunts] - [Momo gasps]

Huh?

[gasps]

Knew it. [gasps]

I knew you'd save me.

- Uh... - [Okarun] Never doubted it.

[sniffles]

[gentle music playing]

Oh, the lava's enough! I'm burning!

Ya damn turd!

Gah! Took you long enough to save us, ya dummy!

- What a useless human! - Turbo Granny!

- What a jackass! I almost died! - I totally forgot.

If I hadn't gotten stuck trying to save her, I'd probably be dead right now.

[Momo] Huh?

[Okarun] The room we were trapped in was

completely covered in the Death Worm's slime.

It kept the lava from getting to us.

Oh no! Where's Jiji?

He... he's still down there!

- [Momo] Nah, he's good. - Oh?

I don't know how, but he made it out on his own.

He's okay, really.

Oh! That's great, then.

[gasps] Sorry.

I... I thought I could handle him, but I couldn't do anything.

He's so darn strong. [grunts]

[strains]

[yelps]

[warm, gentle music playing]

[whimpering]

Sorry! I tripped, I swear! It was an accident!

I... I'll keep my distance from now on.

[gasps] Uh...

[Momo] I'm the one who's sorry.

I said I'd come back and save you...

[Okarun whimpering]

[Momo] But I couldn't do anything.

But you're alive.

Thank God!

DAN DA DAN

[song in Japanese playing]

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH NAMES OF PEOPLE

(INCLUDING THE ACTOR KEN TAKAKURA) AND ORGANIZATIONS.

♪ Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chi-quitita ♪

♪ Chi-Chiquitita Chiquitita, you have a dream? ♪

♪ Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chi-Chi-quitita ♪

- ♪ Chi-Chi, Chi-quitita ♪ - [Chiquitita] See you next time!

17 WE CAN ALL STAY THERE TOGETHER!

♪ Chi ♪