Original subtitles

(traffic honking)

- This is Bob.

I'm good.

How are things going?

You hanging in there?

Okay.

Yeah, it's kind of shocking to you, right?

Yeah, with, yeah, with cutting and eating disorders

and drug and alcohol dependency.

The therapeutic community doesn't want to tell you anything.

You know, it's a strange environment that I work in.

We're trying to help your daughter come up with a game plan

to process her feelings and why this is going on

instead of just a standard diagnosis and then put her

on some medication, and it's a snake chasing its own tail.

- Bob's life is an amazingly perfect story.

He was this like, wile alcoholic drug addict guy,

and then he just flipped it like a 180

into this guy that brings people to sobriety.

- I'm pretty good at, you know, making them feel comfortable

and trusting and stuff like that, 'cause I have

a kind of different approach to the whole thing.

- Well, he's given up his life essentially.

You have no idea how many times he's,

helped my family.

- Okay, I'll call you back.

Sure, it's going to be all right.

Okay.

How I got to be a drug and alcohol specialist

was a long, hard, strange, crazy, wonderful, fantastic road,

and it started in music.

(funky music)

- Bob Forrest is one of, was, and everyone will tell you,

one of the biggest assholes ever to live.

♪ I say fuck you Jesus ♪

♪ I don't need you to say my name ♪

♪ I don't need no fucking Jesus to save me now ♪

- Bob is the artist that had all the aces and the trumps

and just tore them up.

(frenetic guitar music)

- I didn't mean to hurt anybody but myself.

Okay, here's the thing.

When I was a kid, I read the book,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Lenny Bruce", right.

When I was 13 years old, all I wanted

to do was shoot heroin.

Like, that's what I wanted.

(reverberating guitar music) (crowd cheering)

Fuck you, Jesus.

(crowd cheering)

Most people thought I was going to die.

I thought I was gonna die, but you don't think

in terms of like, I'm going to die today.

I'm just going to take some more drugs today,

and inevitably this isn't gonna end well,

and I was mistaken because it does

end well if you don't die.

(intermittent radio chatter)

- [Brooke] This is Brooke Shields and I got

my radio station on Rodney on the ROQ.

(bluesy music)

♪ Now Jenny said when she was just five years old ♪

♪ You know that nothin' happens at all ♪

♪ Every time she puts on a radio ♪

♪ There was nothin' goin' down at all ♪

♪ Not at all ♪

♪ Then one fine mornin' she puts on a New York station ♪

♪ And she couldn't believe what she heard at all ♪

♪ Not at all ♪

♪ She started dancin' to that fine fine music ♪

♪ Man her life was saved by rock and roll ♪

♪ Rock and roll ♪

♪ Despite the amputations ♪

♪ She could dance to the rock and roll station ♪

♪ It was all right ♪

- [Bob] Hollywood in 1981 was the place where people

were mad to live, mad to talk,

crazy for everything, wanting of everything.

I was going to LA City College, but to me it was,

this school is in the way of doing what I wanted to do

which was drink and go out and have fun and be around music

and be around writers and poets and junkies and hookers,

and so I did that.

I wrote poetry, and I managed a bookstore.

I wanted to be around those people that Bukowski

and Chandler wrote about.

There was so much pulling me to all this,

like there's this part in Kerouac "On The Road"

where he says,

"and they danced down the street, and I shambled after him

as I'd been doing my whole life

after people who interest me because the only people

for me are the mad ones, the ones that are mad to live,

mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything

at the same time, the ones that never yawn

or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn

like fabulous yellow Roman candles,

exploding like spiders across the stars,

and in the middle you see a blue center light pop,

and everybody goes, ah."

♪ Despite the amputations ♪

♪ You can rock to a rock and roll station ♪

♪ You know, it was all right ♪

That thing that Jack Kerouac describes,

most everyone that I associated with in Los Angeles had it,

and I had come from this kind of Catholic, weird

Palm Springs Republican background, and like,

meeting people like this was, it was like

I had fallen into paradise.

(upbeat rock music)

- It was one of the most exciting times

ever in this town musically for sure.

- With the Monster and the Weirdos

and Jane's Addiction and the Red Hot Chili Peppers

and Fishbone and all of these bands,

we were all kind of, the party was happening here.

♪ We got the neutron bomb ♪

♪ We got the neutron bomb ♪

♪ We got the neutron ♪

- It wasn't obviously about the money.

It was about having a fucking good time

in a really unusual, weird setting.

Let's find old places downtown, throw our own parties.

- It was just like a wild urban experience.

♪ We got the neutron bomb ♪

- It was honest, boldfaced musical passion.

- It was one of the most magical times ever,

this movement of life and music and attitudes.

- You know, it was electric man.

♪ Survival of the fittest ♪

- [Man] I mean at that point, all of Los Angeles

really was, from the Highland to Gower

and from Franklin to Fountain, I mean that was basically

where everyone in that musical community lived.

It's funny how you jusT kinda find your people.

- When you're that young and you're that poor

and you have that few resources,

you go wherever the wind takes you,

and one day, that wind took me to Bob Forrest.

- Are you gonna keep goin'?

I think you need to stop now.

(laughing)

- The story is that Flea and I were walking down

Hollywood Boulevard homeless because-

- I don't know that that's true.

- Oh, it's true.

This is what happened.

- Actually, I didn't have a place to stay at the time.

I don't know where I was sleeping, on someone's floor

or something, and he said that we could stay at his house.

- And I have now known him for about two minutes

and he was giving me a place to live,

and it didn't take me long to say,

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be there.

We will be moving in with you shortly.

Nice to meet you."

Our mission was, you know, let's get high, let's have fun.

Let's meet girls, let's listen to music.

Maybe we'll write a song in between all of that.

♪ Me and my, me and my, me and my ♪

♪ Me and my, me and my friends ♪

♪ Like two sweet peas ♪

♪ In an even sweeter pod ♪

♪ Well that's my friend ♪

♪ And my friend's name is Bob ♪

♪ Like the devil knows Hell ♪

♪ I know Bobby well ♪

♪ Well enough to tell ♪

- Bob was always around Flea and Anthony.

Anthony and Anthony were always magnets for me

and my girlfriends for whatever reason.

- Flea and I were still kind of driven to pursue

this musical experience that we had started,

and Bob was kind of, he hadn't really found his niche yet.

- I wasn't sure, is he a poet, you know, preaches?

I didn't know what Bob was, but he had great style.

He always had beautiful women around him.

He always had good musicians around him.

(upbeat rock music)

- One time we, we took a drive to see Van Halen

play in San Diego, and on the way down there

Bob was singing rock and roll songs in the backseat,

and I remember thinking,

"Jesus Christ, this guy can actually carry a tune,"

which is something that I certainly could not do

at that time in my life, and, and I was thinking,

"that's, you know, he could do something with that."

- I always wanted to be a writer 'cause I thought, you know,

I had pimply face and I was kind of nerdy,

and I always had friends that were musicians

and the musicians just didn't look like me.

I'd had my drum set about three months

before Thelonious Monster started.

You know, the thing was like me, Bob, Anthony, and Flea

used to go out drinking all the time,

and we usually end up the night out in front of wherever

we were drunk and singing together,

and so then I was like, okay,

"I have a rock band, I'll make that guy the singer."

- You know in the beginning it was Pete Weiss, Chris, Bob,

and myself, and then we added Bill Stobaugh,

who I think looked amazing, tall skinny guy with glasses,

and I think K.K. was the fourth guitar player, I mean,

not the fourth in line, the fourth guitar player

to be in the band, there were seven people in the band.

- Yeah, they were just so freaky.

I mean, it was just so crazy.

They all wore glasses, you know.

- They were a real collective of oddballs.

- [Man] And then Dix Denney was the first non-glasses

playing member of the band.

- That was like a big coup when they got Dix.

Dix was that, you know, real musician.

- Dix had been in the Weirdos and he's part

of punk rock royalty, and I said to Bob,

"has he ever seen us play before?"

- I liked their enthusiasm for a bunch of guys just saying,

"let's start a band.

We don't care what happens."

- [Man] For somebody to see this band for the first time,

which sort of looked loser-ish, nerdy, and then

come on stage and play like this bluesy,

blistering garage rock.

(funky rock music)

♪ Well, I went to the supermarket ♪

♪ To get me some aspirin ♪

♪ Because my head was hurting ♪

♪ From a combination heroin and gin ♪

♪ Well, there was a man in the parking lot ♪

♪ He was doing some peculiar fishing ♪

♪ He had a rod and he had a reel ♪

- The live shows are just real funny and real wild and baah!

♪ Yes yes yes yes no ♪

♪ Yes yes yes yes no ♪

- It was the gnarliest stuff I ever seen, dude.

It was rowdy as fuck.

- The angst was there, the like, inter-band squabbling

was there, the drugs were there.

- And Bob was just like this out of control,

alcoholic, drunken maniac.

- And he danced and sang his ass

right off the edge of the stage.

(body thudding) (mic feedback squealing)

That was the funniest shit I ever saw.

I was like,

"Whoa, look at that shit.

That's punk rock, dude."

(laughing)

♪ Yes yes yes yes no ♪

♪ Yes yes yes yes no ♪

- The singing was out of control, and his pitch was suspect

at times, but he just had a sort of a wild abandon

and a lot of soul.

- He's like one of the soulfullest white boys that I knew.

♪ Yeah ♪

- We've written four songs, and so we decided

we're going to make a record, or at least a demo.

- Pete, can you hear me?

I can tell you one thing, Pete, before you should play

the song that's gonna be recorded forever.

Your dad's a homo and he sucked my cock.

- One inch master, take one.

You're rolling.

- It was just like,

"Hey, we're having a recording session.

Everybody come and get drunk."

Flea is the producer.

Everyone looks like they're about 12 years old,

and they almost are.

- I'm very happy.

All my friends are coming and drink beer with me.

♪ Well a whole lot of people say ♪

♪ You know I heard again just the other day ♪

♪ That I'm talkin' bout this unnatural freak ♪

♪ We're talking in language no one else can speak well ♪

- I remember when they made their first recordings,

they were being,

"Fuck, This sounds really good."

- All of a sudden people heard this demo tape we made

and were like, oh my God, they're actually playing songs.

It's not just noise and jumping around and breaking shit.

- [Man] Maybe six months after that,

this deal was worked out

to record this record with Epitaph.

- You know, I was barely a label.

I was just a guy.

I had a desk job at a record importer.

So, but I was able to put out records.

I had two demos that I was considering signing,

Thelonious Monster and Jane's Addiction.

I liked the Monster better cause they were more punk.

You know, of course the Jane's Addiction album

that I passed on is the one that went on

to sell a million copies so.

(laughing)

♪ Living with a monster ♪

They became sort of a phenomenon to college radio,

and it was a critical success.

Critics loved the record.

- So our first Thelonious Monster album came out

and then the Herald-Examiner, they said it was

the modern punk rock version of "Exile on Main Street."

I read it at the Denny's right down the street here.

I was going to work working a truck loadin' furniture,

and I was like,

"Oh my God, Exile on Main Street,

and talk about the New York Dolls and all this stuff,"

and I was like,

"Well, I'll be quitting my job today obviously."

(chuckling)

♪ What then created will then be aided ♪

♪ What then created will then be aided ♪

- Watch your glasses. - Is that good?

- [Man] Fucking amazing, totally.

- [Man] Everyone looks so innocent.

And I just feel like, oh, look at those poor little guys

totally unaware of the hardships, about to be followed.

(upbeat rock music)

- When I moved to to Hollywood, I was only 19

but I started working and then deejaying.

Then I got into coke and crystal meth and you know

felt good about myself, felt good about the world.

And then I had always just like from when I was little

I was fascinated with Lenny Bruce and I always

wanted to shoot drugs.

I knew that was like a vehicle that people went down

and interesting people went down.

I always wanted to shoot drugs,

but I never really came in contact with anybody.

And then I met Top Jimmy.

Top Jimmy was this guy that I just idolized.

And I knew he shot heroin.

(upbeat rock music)

♪ Well what's it gonna take just to make you move ♪

- Top Jimmy was a,

oh, my God.

I had no idea this was gonna be like this.

Um-

♪ You ain't got no goddamn business here ♪

Top Jimmy was like a blues musician here in town.

He was an important figure that never really got to be big

but was mythical here in town.

♪ Dance dance dance, little baby, now ♪

♪ Around ♪

- Top Jimmy was one of the greatest characters

in the history of music in Los Angeles.

And he also

worked at Top Tacos.

(upbeat rock music)

♪ Oh, Jimmy ♪

- [Bob] I was about 21.

And I wanted to really try it.

So the first time I did heroin

I finally had been working on Top Jimmy to get me some.

And he finally got in my car

and then we went back to his house.

He said come inside and he gave me my heroin.

He already had a spoon on his coffee table

and he had a syringe.

He pulled it out

and he started mixing it up and lighting it.

And I was watching him.

And then he looked at me and he goes,

"Don't you have a point?"

And I was like, um,

I don't think so.

And he goes, "You ever done this before?"

And I was like, "Yeah, I've done it a lot."

And he said, "You could use my point after I'm done."

And then I realized in that moment

that the point was a needle.

And so then he did his

and I was trying to watch him very carefully

as to what he did.

So I started tearing it out and putting it in the spoon

and put water in it, and then lit it.

But I wasn't shaking it around like,

and he finally looked at me and he goes,

"You've never done this before, have you?"

Then I go, "Well not, not shot it."

And so he said, "Give me that" and he just,

"Put your arm out."

And he shot me up,

and I just went "Whoa."

(psychedelic music)

It was quite an experience.

Beyond the world of worry.

And I knew from that day that I should never

do that stuff again.

Once you get rolling, I don't think you can stop it.

And let's face it, the music business,

and playing music for a living,

and making good money and having just

to do nothing all day doesn't help.

- [Man] Right now.

Speak.

- Okay, uh, take eight.

Action!

- [Bob] Action, did you say?

- [Woman] Yeah.

- Hi, my name's Bob and I used to be

like a former schmuck sort of, you know.

Ow.

God.

I was not the, you know I wasn't doing that good of a thing

and then I formed a band,

and look, girls hang out at my doorstep now.

I got lots of money, tons of drugs.

I can drink anytime I want.

No one bothers me.

It's a beautiful thing, I'm telling you.

And then, look at this.

The Hollywood Hills is in the backdrop.

Come on, come on into my house.

(upbeat rock music)

(vocalizing)

- [Huck] It pretty much became Bob's band pretty quickly.

- I remember Thelonious Monster got a huge write-up

in the LA Times by Hilburn.

I liked Bob's band.

I really truly did because I liked Bob's lyrics.

He reminded me of sort of Woody Guthrie, Dylan-esque.

- [Huck] You know all of us had input musically

but Bob made up all the lyrics,

and they were all about his life

and kind of his problems.

♪ Well I never paid no rent ♪

♪ And I never paid no telephone bill ♪

♪ And I ain't never had a job ♪

♪ And I'm glad and I hope I never will ♪

- One of the most interesting things about Bob

is his ability to take the mundane

and spin it into like a great song.

- The lyrics were so free,

and a lot of like you know the songs

would be like what happened to him the day before.

♪ Well I saw John Fogerty ♪

♪ And a beautiful girl at Canter's ♪

♪ They were looking so fine, man ♪

♪ They're lives we so together ♪

♪ And me, I couldn't afford a cup of coffee ♪

♪ To cure my hangover ♪

- This whole thing is about his life is an open book

and everything's out on the table

and all his dirty laundry on display.

Slowly like this started to take off

as like a theme, you know,

and then he would just say things that had happened to him.

- And I went to jail for bounced checks.

When I was 18 I wrote a check to Vons for $89

and another one to a shoe store for $36,

and got caught drunk at Disneyland

and they looked for warrants

and they found out that I had bounced checks

and they put me in county jail.

And the guys kept beating me up going, "What are you,

Buddy Holly or you're Sid Vicious or what?"

(all laughing)

- He was just being him.

There was no sense that their show was a performance.

Their life sort of spilled on the stage

and then it spilled back offstage.

- Somebody dropped out at that end part.

Somebody fucked up.

Has anybody got any heroin for sale in the audience, please?

Like $20 bag of heroin please so he can snort or smoke.

And I know no one hangs out here

but people who thinks they can sell dope

to somebody else so,

come right over here behind the speaker, no one will know.

- You have no idea what it was like.

There were drugs everywhere in LA in the 1980s.

I mean it was just free-for-alls.

Of every drug imaginable.

Mostly you know, mostly heroin.

- It was so important in 1987, '86, LA,

to be a junkie.

It was so fucking important.

It was so de rigueur.

(upbeat rock music)

- [Bob] In 1986 I went to my first treatment

to stop drinking and taking drugs.

And I remember I didn't know what withdrawal was at all.

And I was sick, I had diarrhea,

I was vomiting, my body ached.

The very first counselor I had was like this hippie woman,

and who tried to tell you that you were good,

you know, life was a joy

and if you just had the freedom of sobriety

you could you know dance in the tulips

and all this really hippie crazy shit.

And I was still in my punk rock rage,

you know I was just like,

"Are you fucking kidding me?

I'd rather be dead."

- There you go, Thelonious Monster on KROQ

and Bob the lead singer in studio with us,

our guest Love Doctor.

You know Louis asked me to ask you this,

you guys always have a different group of people playing

with you don't you?

- People quit, I don't know, we just get in fights

and we're like a volatile real rock 'n' roll band I think.

- You're gonna like the next segment

of the show with Dr. Drew,

it's our medical doctor.

♪ Blur the line ♪

Oh no not yet.

Not yet Bob,

here's our medical doctor Dr. Drew to take away the segment.

- All right, why don't we see what the listeners

have to talk about.

This is Valley too high?

Who's this?

- Skye. - Okay, you're on.

- [Skye] Okay um, my really good friend left school

at Christmas vacation,

because she was really depressed and everything

and she was going to stay at this hospital.

- Mm-hmm.

- [Skye] And I just found out that it's because

she's been addicted to cocaine for two years.

- Mm-hmm.

- [Skye] And I don't know what to do.

Should I tell her that I know and try and help-

- Well most likely if she's been

through a program right now,

she's not gonna be the same person

that you talked to two months ago.

But just understand that she's your friend,

you know.

And, and be honest with her and talk to her.

Drugs are a nasty thing that people hold back

and hide and lie about.

I've had a real problem with it myself and-

- Have you been through a program at all?

- Yeah two different times.

- Uh-huh.

I think there's a career for you Bob in medicine.

(Bob laughing)

- I thought you were gonna ask me about my album

and I was gonna go home.

Let's play some music!

Do you ever play music on the air?

Yeah, we'll play Sammy Hagar Weekend.

♪ Well, it's a Sammy Hagar weekend ♪

♪ It's a Sammy Hagar state of mind ♪

- The funniest thing about rock music,

and every band will tell you, is that the one song

that they weren't gonna record becomes probably their song

with the greatest notoriety.

♪ We got our Metallica T-shirts ♪

♪ Got a little tiny baby mustache got a ♪

♪ Jacked-up Camaro ♪

♪ We're sitting in the parking lot at Anaheim Stadium ♪

♪ Drinking beer, smoking pot, snorting coke ♪

♪ And then we drive, we drive over 55, yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a Sammy Hagar weekend ♪

♪ And it's a big man's day ♪

- Thelonious Monster was a hodge-podge of different mugs,

personalities.

It's a band of misfits.

It was a revolving door.

- [Man] Whoever wanted to play with us

at the time would play with us.

It was like Mike Martt's going on tour with us.

Okay.

- I started touring with Thelonious Monster

probably '86 I think.

'Cause Rob Graves was in the band.

- Rob Graves was mind boggling,

and just the most beautiful cat.

♪ 'Cause it's a Sammy Hagar weekend ♪

- It was fun.

It's like a traveling circus.

- [Bob] We're all the way to CBGB in goddamn New York City.

Rock 'n' Roll Hoochie Koo dude.

- When they came to New York it was like Sodom and Gomorrah.

It was like, you know, I mean the minute they came through

that bridge or that tunnel.

First the gig, then party out.

And that was the golden year I believe of the Monster boys.

- You know we became a you know fixture LA band.

And there came a time that like Thelonious Monster

was the place to be.

♪ If there's one kind of favor I'll ask of you ♪

♪ There's one kind of favor I'll ask you ♪

- You know Bob just has this passion in the way he sings

and the way he performs,

that, I don't know he's just,

he can just conjure up this pain.

- When something like you're going through,

what you're singing about at the moment

that you're singing it,

it's actually your life.

You know you can really

sing it with a lot of conviction you know.

♪ Singin' at my grave, please ♪

♪ Did you ever hear ♪

♪ That comin' sound ♪

- You'd see this fellow on stage

who looked fairly obviously in pain,

and then as the music you know would start to kick in

you would see this person transcending the pain.

♪ Well did you ever hear that comin' sound, oh ♪

♪ Needs to know what's going underground ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- So exciting.

You could feel that he was inside you know

pulling at the heartstrings of everybody who

was in the room you know.

Bob really just seemed like a god to me you know.

At Raji's, Bob was the master of ceremonies,

he was the center of attention.

- A friend of mine used to, this guy Greg Linbord,

he used to uh do a lot of drugs

and he called a friend of mine on a Thursday night and said

"Man, I found the ultimate high."

He goes, "You load up a syringe of cocaine

and then you get a hit of freebase.

You do the hit of freebase when you're ears stop ringing

from the cocaine freebase,

you shoot the cocaine into your arm to get a double high."

(upbeat rock music)

Then on a Saturday night, this was Thursday night

he told my friend Eric this,

on Saturday night he OD'd and he's got a brain hemorrhage,

his brain exploded until his blood

came out his ears and his eyeballs and he died.

♪ When my heart stops beating, and my hands turn cold, Lord ♪

♪ When my heart stops beating and my hands turn cold, Lord ♪

I remember turning to Dix for his solo,

and just looking at Pete

and knowing how great we were.

♪ And I believe in what the Bible ♪

♪ I believe in what the Bible told ♪

♪ And there's one kind favor I'll ask of you ♪

- For the time when that clicked

it was just an amazing thing

and it was as great as any rock band I've ever seen.

And it wasn't just great because they were our friends.

You know people loved 'em.

- The National Press was getting hip to us,

because they knew us in Chicago and Seattle and New York,

and we could fill joints up Boston.

We were kinda on our way to a major label record deal,

which in those days that was like

you've arrived and your life is gonna now be perfect.

You can go to your you know your mom or your parents

like, you know I might be a junkie or whatever

but I'm on a major label record deal!

(upbeat rock music)

- [Bob] When you live in a single apartment

for $400 a month, and you owe three months' rent,

and you're addicted to heroin

and you're drinking all the time,

and here they're saying in the LA Times

with a picture of you in the LA Times,

this guy is a genius.

♪ Well, they keep telling me that I could walk on water ♪

They weren't even comparing us

to the Chili Peppers or to Soul Asylum or stuff,

they were comparing me to John Lennon and Bob Dylan

and it was like, are you fucking kidding?

But then another part of you goes, goddamn right!

- And all of a sudden we've got new management.

And you know I remembered them like you know,

we're gonna get you a deal,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then, they got a deal.

They got a big RCA record deal.

(vocalizing)

- [Bob] And then right then all these record company people

start coming around,

these managers and these types of people telling me what a,

oh, you know the band's rugged or the band is this

or the drummer can't keep time or this or that.

- [Weiss] The whole idea was like, "Hey, Bob,

you don't need those guys.

You're the song writer, you're the talent.

You know why don't you go out and do your own thing?"

- I mean all of a sudden he thought he didn't need Pete,

he didn't need Chris Hansen, he didn't need Dix Denney,

he didn't need Rob Graves.

You know, he needed those guys.

Those guys who understood who Bob was.

- As soon as somebody starts to,

to believe the lies

that people are telling 'em,

whether they be good or bad,

then they're destroyed

and they become a parody of themselves.

- And then, no we are not getting on a major label,

Bob Forrest is getting on a major label.

We're getting nothing.

- Listen to what he does when he's left on his own.

'Cause his solo record was so unlistenable.

Are you gonna get your hands on that?

Play it for the people, that'd be awesome.

♪ What becomes of the brokenhearted ♪

- And we were just going what the hell is he thinking?

Like, like you know like,

he was blinded by his own selfish ambition.

- Money.

Mm-mm, a lot of money make a motherfucker

do some crazy shit don't it.

♪ Grow all around ♪

♪ But for me they come tumblin' down ♪

- And I also got you know dragged in on it.

He had me come in and,

and sing an outro to, what?

Yeah, and it was just really embarrassing, and, uh-

♪ I saw him coming back just the other day ♪

♪ He said peace of mind is not so hard to ♪

Wasn't meant to be.

- Bob has an ability to be your best friend.

A loving and kind person.

But back then, he could stab you in the heart.

- Poor fuckin' Rob Graves,

the guy got screwed in every band

he'd ever been in.

Gun Club, Bags Eyes.

None of those bands ever made him a dime.

All of a sudden like you know he worked his ass off,

he's in Thelonious Monster, and it's like,

you know it's starting to take off.

Bob clips him.

- When we all split up and went our own ways,

Rob Graves went, uh to New York and died of a drug overdose.

- That must've been '89 he died.

Sure do miss Rob Graves, I'll tell you that much.

- That's when I started looking at my life

in a really deep way,

and wondering what the fuck is wrong with me?

I can talk all this long art shit and songwriter bullshit

but as soon as somebody gives me $100,000,

I get nasty and irritable

and I'll pretty much fuck anybody under that,

loved me and cared about me

and helped build something with me.

You might have noticed that I'm not drinking beer right here

and I feel, I don't know,

I just I just stopped drinking beer

so now I drink water but-

(audience applauding)

This is the first time I've played in nine months,

so I'm clearly and the first time

I ever played without drinking so.

I'm very nervous.

(audience applauding)

- Sometimes he would disappear and I wouldn't see him

and I didn't know.

I guess now I know he was in rehab,

you know, most of the time.

(light acoustic guitar music)

- That became the ritual.

I'd go to rehab and then it just started this years

and years cycle.

You go somewhere for 30 days,

and stay there kinda cloistered away

from your family, from your triggers, from your friends,

from drugs, from alcohol, from everything.

And in this environment somehow you learn enough

to go right back home

and just be fine.

(audience applauding)

Don't be applauding sobriety.

Same people that are applauding me now are the ones that go,

"Yeah, hey, you want some heroin?

Yeah, come on."

Now things are gonna get serious.

It's a serious fucking thing.

Today, today, I have a son, that I,

so he's three and a half years old

and he wanted to see "Dick Tracy."

- It was shocking.

You know, how can

people that are so reckless and kind of kids themselves,

suddenly become parents and so,

I mean at least to me it struck me as-

- Crazy. - Crazy.

(audience applauding)

- Everybody has different recollections of it.

Certainly I wasn't present in his life at certain times.

Come like once a month or something, a weekend dad.

And she was gutsy to even let him spend the night

at my house.

But I was scared.

(audience applauding)

I just always think of it in terms of my parents,

'cause they're the ones that raised me.

They're the ones that fucked me up so bad,

there's gotta be, you've gotta be definitive

on who fucked you up in this country.

(upbeat music)

I had an ideal childhood, really.

Like I was the center of the family's universe.

Everybody loved me.

I was born in 1961 on February 15th, a golden child

of Helen and Idris Forrest.

Seemed like the perfect family.

There was my mom and my dad

and I had three older sisters and they were

much older but it just seemed like

I must've been an accident or something.

So here's where we lived and where I grew up.

44652 Elkhorn Trail.

Do you hear the locust?

We used to catch 'em.

You can catch 'em.

My dad put that basketball court up for me.

It's still up there.

Nancy Krohurst she used to live right here,

oh, my goodness, only the cutest girl in the world.

I climbed that mountain when I was a kid.

It was like Huck Finn at 120 degrees.

It was a great place to grow up.

It really was.

I just think I'm two polarizations.

So, there's the part that grew up here

that was all loved and nurtured

and then there's the other part.

(light guitar music)

They started telling me when I got inquisitive

that I was adopted

because I started asking about their ages.

They were very, you know, they were 55

which back then, you didn't have 55 year old parents

when you were eight years old,

so I'd ask questions, then she told me I was adopted,

one time when we were driving in the car,

and that made sense.

And then she started saying,

"Well, you're gonna meet your natural family some day

and we'll arrange it and you can go live with them,"

once she started fighting-

- She said that to you?

- She started fighting with me, yeah.

So it just got weirder and weirder.

So then on Christmas Eve night, when I'm 15 years old-

- [Nancy] 13.

- [Bob] 13 years old?

- [Nancy] Mm-hmm.

- [Bob] They tell me.

- [Nancy] They didn't, I did.

- [Bob] Like everybody was arguing and fighting

and Nancy in particular was screaming

and my dad was screaming and my Aunty Maxine was screaming.

And then I heard it.

"It's time to tell him."

And then Nancy came in and sat down on the bed with me.

And she goes, "I have to tell you something."

And she's like, "Bobby, I'm your mother."

I was just angry kind of.

I knew it was true, but I didn't want to know any more.

I didn't ask any questions.

The whole thing just seemed so insane to me.

- [Nancy] I was four or five months pregnant.

I didn't even know what it was.

- [Bob] You were 14, right?

- Yeah.

My mom just freaked.

Just freaked that, "What are the neighbors gonna say?"

And it was amazing that Dad looked over,

my dad looked over to me and said, he said

"If you are gonna keep him the only way you can

is if we adopt him."

- [Bob] Right after they told me that,

you know my parents were my grandparents

and that my sister was my mother,

right after that, my dad got really sick

and he had a stroke and then he was in a coma.

And then he died and

it was like devastating.

In two years we literally went from like

living in this nice house in Palm Springs

to like living in a mobile home in the middle of nowhere.

And the old Bobby that lived out here

that was really confident and nurtured well

and kind of a force to be reckoned with,

became kind of like this social retard.

And right around then is when I started drinking.

I just loved alcohol.

Bacardi and Coke.

I used to drink it in high school,

I used to drink it all the time.

Drink it first thing in the morning.

It made me feel smart

and all the kinda weirdness that I was feeling

at that time, 16, 17.

Alcohol made that all go away

and I was back to Bobby in Palm Desert.

Ruling the universe.

It was a quick fix on a big problem.

Unfortunate thing is the problem that was created then

is what I'm dealing with now,

40 years later, 35 years later.

(crowd cheering)

Thelonious Monster was a good band

for years and years, right,

and then we quit or broke up or people died.

And then we didn't play.

And then I signed a solo deal with RCA

and I got a pile of money.

Got $385,000.

- Whether we were pissed

at what had gone down or not,

it had come and gone it'd been so long.

You know he'd spent I guess $450,000 that RCA had given him,

to no great end and we had $30,000 left

so it was decided that we'd write a few more songs,

and we patched together a record

which became "Beautiful Mess."

- And so the story continues over and over again.

This is Marton, our new bass player.

Zander Schloss, our lead guitar.

- It was like, "Let's keep the party going."

- [Bob] These are the good old days, Woody.

Right now are the good old fuckin' days.

(upbeat rock music)

- Just us guys with blond hair.

With Bobby Forrest.

Thelonious Monster's making history, baby!

- So it's back to Thelonious Monster.

And meanwhile all those guys straightened up.

They was with, they're all clean, they're sober.

It's the new clean Thelonious.

- Your sobriety has played a big part in this band,

and the record- - Yes!

- Straight edge is so great.

- And so Bob is, is doing well for those of you

who have been concerned.

- I'm doing better.

- I'll be checking in with you guys very often on this trip

and you will have a fantastic voyage across America.

♪ Well, my friends, they're important to me ♪

♪ Some more than any family ever has been ♪

♪ They're the ones that bail me out of jail ♪

♪ They're the ones that pick me up ♪

- I tell you, after that record and that lineup,

we were playing some good shows.

♪ Blood is thicker than water ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, blood is thicker than water ♪

♪ And this is what they say ♪

♪ Ah, this is what they say, yeah ♪

♪ But I don't know ♪

- [Man] We are in Montreal,

and that's just a little something

a friend of ours happened to want to give us.

Pharmaceutical huh, Rich?

- That's what it says.

- [Man] Is that what it says?

- No preservatives. - [Man] No preservatives?

I need another hit of morphine.

- [Man] Ladies and gentlemen, he's breaking the sobriety.

- No, I was just smoking a cigarette.

- [Man] You're breaking the sobriety dude.

- You couldn't really be in that environment

and be a sober person.

- As you can see, ladies and gentlemen,

I can barely hold a camera.

So, there.

- [Mullen] And then it's the whole domino effect,

and then before you know it the whole band

is all strung out again.

- [Man] What are you doing, Woody?

- I'm just helping, helping everybody out.

- [Man] Are you helping everybody out?

- Anesthetizing myself so that everyone can relax.

- [Man] Dude, we can deal with it.

- [Bob] When I wrote the first couple of albums

it seemed like I was out of control on drugs,

I was not.

I was nowhere near what was gonna happen.

(upbeat rock music)

- Things began to unravel,

primarily due to the drug use.

- You know what this thing about Dan Quayle,

how does a draft-dodging motherfucker like him

tell other people to go out and die in a war?

(crowd cheering)

Figure that out.

He's a motherfucking lying piece of shit.

- You know I'd be back there saying shut the fuck up.

You know let's play a goddamn song.

No one wants to hear you fuckin' flap your lips

the whole night.

- So anyways, I'll tell you one thing

and I'll tell you two things,

I'll tell you four things and I'll tell you eight things.

'Cause telling people things

is one of my favorite things to do.

- There was always a lot of tension between Pete and Bob.

- Shut up.

You don't know the changes,

you're totally lame, you fucked it up.

I did not fuck it up!

Bullshit.

No you sing it once,

you sing the chorus once,

whatever, there's too much bass

in the front monitor up here.

Let's go with something we know.

Let's go with, uh,

uh-

- They often disagreed about things,

and when you're doing drugs and drinking,

those disagreements can get pretty well embellished.

- [Man] This is what's going on.

I'm sitting on the bus, that's why it's shaking.

Chris is standing in front of the Toronto Hotel

explaining to Roger and George Bob's demands,

why he won't leave the Toronto Hotel

and why he wanted to quit show business.

- He'd go spend his money at the first

truck stop we'd get to,

and then he'd spend his per diem

and now he can't eat nor buy beer

so unless he gets some money and, you know,

he felt entitled that everything, you know anyone,

He's the lead singer.

"I'm the leader of the band,

so I need my money, or I need my beer."

- [Man] Let's shush about it.

- [Man] I think Bob looks really cool right now.

A great look for Woodrow.

Bob, I love you.

- You fucking hate my guts. - [Man] I love you.

You're joking yourself.

- He was one of the largest assholes

ever to walk the planet.

The most selfish, baby, "sell you out",

you know, "steal what you got",

one of the, you know, horrible, horrible stuff.

You know.

I'm talking temper tantrums, crying.

- Pete would get up off the drum riser and,

and take his floor tom and smash it over Bob's head.

(laughing)

(upbeat rock music)

- He was just too self-destructive.

No band had more chances.

I never saw any other band

or act that got opportunity gift wrapped.

You know handed here,

and every time Bob would make sure,

you know to do the correct punk rock thing

which was to shoot yourself in the foot.

- Hi, I'm Kurt Loder, this is the "Day In Rock."

During a show at the 9:30 Club in Washington DC

on September 25th,

Bob Forrest of the Los Angeles band Thelonious Monster

is alleged to have told the audience, quote,

"Instead of re-electing President Bush,

we should murder him."

Forrest denied making the statement as alleged,

although he's vague about whatever he actually did say.

- Think of what would happen if you killed George Bush.

You'd be famous.

You'd have, you could write a book and make some money.

And you'd be a hero to myself and the band.

- Finally what happens

if you don't know the words to the National Anthem,

and you try to fake it?

Well you make a fool of yourself.

That's what happened to singer Bob Forrest

of the group Thelonious Monster

at the Sports Arena last night.

We join Mr. Forrest, already lost in progress.

♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars ♪

♪ Through the perilous fight ♪

♪ Was so gallantly streaming ♪

- The funny thing is seeing him before the gig, you know.

How you doing, Bob?

"Oh, well, I'm pretty good,

I don't know it looks pretty scary out there."

He had like,

"I don't know."

He had like two giant beers

and his eyes are pinned and he's with Frenchie

who was his fucking heroin dealer.

- Capital recording artist Thelonious Monster.

That's how they announced it.

I remember them saying that.

♪ For the land of the free ♪

- Let's start up again.

♪ For the land of the free ♪

♪ And the home of the brave ♪

(crowd booing)

- That was painful.

- Where's Roseanne when you need her, huh?

- Oh, man. - Oh, that was painful.

- It didn't surprise me, it didn't shock me,

it didn't even faze me.

I was like, well, he'll just leave

and he probably won't even remember that that happened,

you know, in a couple of days.

He'll be off, you know on the next

adventure or whatever.

(speaking foreign language)

(rock music)

(speaking indistinctly)

- Bob fucked up Thelonious Monster.

They had it all going in every way

and he really turned his back on 'em

and fucked the whole thing up.

♪ I've wanted to kill myself ♪

♪ But I've always been too scared ♪

♪ My life is like sideways rain swirling around in the air ♪

♪ I've been searching most of my life ♪

♪ For anything to believe in ♪

- That was basically the end of it.

'Cause everybody's just doing it to get loaded

and it's just getting worse and worse and worse

and you know,

there was no reason to continue.

♪ Take it anymore ♪

♪ Please somebody help me ♪

♪ I never wanted help before ♪

♪ Please somebody help me ♪

♪ Please somebody help me ♪

♪ Please somebody help me ♪

- People were fed up, I was

just on a march to die with drugs,

but I knew that if I could stop the drugs,

everything would be all right.

At nighttime you can't see people sitting on those steps

and I sat there

and shot heroin and OD'd.

I woke up about four hours later and it was raining.

And I thought,

"Holy God in heaven.

"How did I get here?"

Like, I started out a nice middle class kid,

I moved to Hollywood, I got to be a part

of this great music community and,

and I was homeless and toothless.

I weighed about 120 pounds.

And I was living down here in the gutter.

Pretty much most people,

you know, I think thought I was gonna die.

You know,

because I didn't have the will anymore to go to rehab

and just tough it out through the detox process.

I didn't have it.

I tried it so many times and I couldn't even stay,

got to a point where I couldn't even stay six hours.

I'd left Hazelden rehab.

It was the third time I had been there,

and I had left 'cause I got in a fight

with one of the counselors.

I had money and I went to look to buy some heroin and coke.

And I found an old guy to get me some drugs

and eighth floor of some, you know, HUD housing project.

I get up there, he starts shooting up

and I just sit there waiting.

He did his and then I pointed to his needle

and I said, "Can I use that?"

And he goes,

"Oh, you want to use that?

I got the HIV on me."

And I was like,

"Well, where do you get a needle around here?"

And it was, like, two o'clock in the morning,

three o'clock in the morning,

he goes, "You don't."

I was like, "No, I'll use that."

And I went in the kitchen and he had some dish washing soap.

I put it in a pan, put a lot of soap in there and water.

And I put it on the, on the stove

and I just pushed the needle in and out, in and out

to what I thought was probably the safest amount

of soap and water to use,

clean out an HIV-infected needle and I used it.

(dramatic music)

- That's Bob running on empty.

You know and he was like that for many, many years,

and it was really really worrisome.

- I heard a rumor that Bob Forrest

and Keith Morris were

working like next door at Millie's.

And so I just walked down there for breakfast one day

and sure enough there's Bob and Keith, you know,

bussing tables and taking orders.

(upbeat guitar music)

- The Circle Jerks weren't doing anything.

We were in some kind of a lull.

So we worked here.

We worked with a bunch of our friends.

It was a cool little community.

- Yes, we worked at Millie's together.

Me, Bob and Keith.

Bob was my dish washer,

I was the waitress and cashier

and Keith Morris was my busboy.

- People are thinking,

"Oh, they're not supposed to be working there.

What the fuck is up with that,"

and it's like, "Hey,

I get, I get two free meals a day.

Some of the greatest food in, you know,

some of the best food in Los Angeles."

- It was kind of um,

kind of a halfway house to former rock stars

who maybe had just gotten out of rehab

and maybe needed a job.

- I was wanting to quit drugs

and then I got arrested and they made me quit.

- [Interviewer] What happened?

- And, well, I was

scoring drugs in a borrowed vehicle.

And I had not returned for a couple of weeks.

And so it was reported stolen.

And then they ran my record and I had,

like, nine outstanding warrants,

some of them felonies.

I don't know how I piled up so much trouble.

And I got arrested.

And then jail made me stop the drugs.

(laughing)

Fact of the matter is the county jail don't give a fuck.

They just put you in a cell and you poo your pants and you,

and you don't sleep and you're sweating

and you feel like you're gonna die.

You know, you just gotta go through

what you gotta go through,

but the LAPD helped me out a lot.

'Cause I don't know that Anthony or anybody talking to me

was gonna stop me.

- So anyway so Bob was good,

he didn't do drugs while he was dish washing at Millie's.

He was, however, mortified when people

would come in the back room and say like,

"Wow, man, aren't you Bob Forrest?"

Which is a pretty humbling experience.

- [Bob] I was working in the kitchen at Millie's

and Gwen Stefani came in and she said,

"Bob?"

And then I said, "Yeah?"

And she said, "I used to go see you when I was a kid."

And it was just the weirdest moment.

I'm working as a dish washer in a restaurant

and she was doing a photo session

for the New York Times Magazine.

I got my apron on and I'm covered in dirt.

But working at Millie's then was like a step up for me.

(laughing)

I was sober and working.

This is my son.

Elijah.

- Like I moved in with him

when he had less than a year straight.

- [Bob] I was scared.

'Cause I wanted to be a perfect dad now and make up

for all the lost time.

- [Elijah] There was this period where I

was finally getting to know my dad

and it was something that I'd never had before.

It was really exciting and then I

had a really awesome step-mom.

My dad and Max were together.

- It was Bob and Max against the world

till the wheels fell off.

I mean it was, it was us raising a kid.

- When I was younger it was really just,

I never really got mad at him

'cause I didn't know what was going on.

But I just kind of

made me sad that he was never around,

but now it's like he's really, really,

really helped me a lot.

And now I'm the one that he worries about.

- What a great kid.

What an amazing thing to have,

to have been there to help shape him

and guide him in the right direction.

- The humble functional life was working.

I get up in the morning, I drive Elijah to school,

I go to work,

I make money.

And then go home,

I take a shower, I go to AA,

I come home.

Very simple life.

(light acoustic guitar music)

- He started to become very,

very productive musically.

I remember he was writing songs constantly.

- [Bob] I would just come home here

with that stickered guitar

and you know write songs

and I broke through a lot of different subject matter.

♪ Heroin ♪

♪ Heroin ♪

♪ And cocaine ♪

♪ And cocaine ♪

♪ Well, I loved them both ♪

♪ But they took my life ♪

♪ They took my friends ♪

♪ They won't give 'em back ♪

♪ But I want 'em back ♪

♪ Oh, give 'em back now ♪

- He had just been severely humbled.

And I think that makes for better music.

- I always think I had so much damage

from Charles Bukowski

and Jim Morrison and, you know,

I thought take alcohol away from Charles Bukowski,

who is he?

You know.

What I failed to see was he's a great writer,

great poet.

Interesting man.

You know, it wasn't the alcohol.

That's what I came to learn after all of this.

♪ But where has it got me 35 years old now ♪

♪ I'm washing dishes in a restaurant ♪

- It wasn't like the drugs and the alcohol

and the self-destructive behavior

was the creative fuel for him.

You know, the creative fuel was his connection

to the universe.

- There was one song of redemption called "Memphis"

that I wrote about Anthony actually trying to get sober.

And I thought where could he go to start a new beginning,

and just go down to Memphis and get out of LA,

get out of New York, get out of music

and go save his own life.

♪ If I can just make it down to Memphis ♪

♪ All my troubles will go away ♪

♪ If I can get down to Memphis maybe I'll be okay ♪

I ended up playing the song live on the radio,

and then later on I got this letter

from this guy that was in jail.

♪ If I can get down to Memphis ♪

♪ Well, they've got a place for me ♪

- [Memphis] Dear Bob,

"I hope you will take the time to read this letter.

At the very least, I think you will find it interesting.

It's 12:20 a.m.

and I'm in a maximum security federal prison

at USP Coleman I.

Loveline just went off the air.

I am a 49-year-old drug addict nicknamed Memphis

who desperately wants to get back there one day."

♪ If I can get down to Memphis ♪

♪ Well, I'll be the king ♪

♪ They got a river ♪

♪ Runs right through there ♪

♪ Well, maybe I'll just take a swim ♪

♪ If I can get down to Memphis it'll start all over again ♪

- [Memphis] "Most of all my problems

are from my addictions to heroin.

I never thought in a million years

that it would turn out like this.

I was 38 years old before I went to prison,

almost 12 years ago.

♪ Just make it down to Memphis ♪

I have no one else to write.

I used all my friends up,

and I lost my mom when I was still using.

So when they played your song tonight,

I burst into tears.

It was the first time I cried in years.

It was a very cleansing experience.

Thank you.

Earlier tonight,

I had made a noose,

and was thinking of ending my life.

And now I'm flushing it down the steel toilet.

Your song has brought me hope.

Thank you.

You saved my life.

By the grace of God,

I will make it back to Memphis alive one day."

♪ If I can just make it down to Memphis ♪

♪ Maybe I can pull through, Lord ♪

♪ If I can just make it down to Memphis ♪

♪ Maybe I can pull through, yeah ♪

♪ Maybe I could pull through ♪

♪ Maybe I could pull through ♪

♪ Yeah I could pull through ♪

♪ I could pull through ♪

♪ Maybe I could pull through ♪

♪ Maybe I could pull through ♪

♪ Maybe I could pull through ♪

- Simultaneously with realizing

that maybe my music isn't like Anthony's or Perry's.

Mine seems to hit a certain type of person

in a really deep way.

And that in learning that then I also learned

that the value of what you went through,

it only really has value in sharing it with people

that are going through that same exact thing.

I was about a year sober,

and John had relapsed.

And I had been hearing about it and I knew

it was a bigger deal than it had been in the past.

- I was at the end of my rope,

because I didn't have any money or anywhere to live.

I had an infection in my mouth

that would have spread to my brain

and killed me within a couple of months,

so I had no choice but to lose all my teeth

and from that point I had to pretty much,

like, swallow whole food,

you know, I would try to mash up food with my mouth,

but it was all like swallowing whole chunks

of food and stuff

and not, not a pleasant time for me.

- It was real shocking

to see the shape that John was in,

and Bob and I tried to get John

into a rehab.

I had never seen anybody

go so far as John did and

Bob at the time was well acquainted

with the recovery community.

- [Bob] I knew a lot about rehab.

By then I'd been to like 20 of 'em.

- So Bob was trying to set me up

so I could kick drug,

kick heroin in a hospital without doing any AA stuff,

'cause he knew I had an aversion to the AA system.

- [Bob] In 1997 I walked into

Musicians Assistance Program

with John to get him help.

It's like I didn't know what it was,

I just knew that they helped musicians.

- MAP, this is Buddy.

- [Bob] And we ended up in Buddy Arnold's office.

Buddy Arnold was helping down and out musicians

get free beds at treatment centers.

And John wasn't really thinking

he should go to rehab,

then Buddy convinced him to go,

and he was, had a bed at Las Encinas in 40 fuckin' minutes.

I had never in my life seen something like that.

- The Musicians Assistance Program

was a nonprofit organization

founded by a 70-something year old jazz artist and his wife.

Guy's name was Buddy Arnold.

He had been a junkie for about 35 years.

Had gotten himself clean and decided to start this program.

What MAP did was get people in the music community

straight, no questions asked.

There was no proselytizing or editorializing

that drugs are bad.

It was like, if you wanted to get straight,

we'll help get you straight,

by a bunch of people who've already been junkies.

We know your, it's musicians helping musicians.

(jazz music)

- Like most people introduced to Buddy

I was immediately taken by him.

- He was, hold on, I'm gonna get a smoke.

Marie can I have a smoke?

He was an old jazz player.

And he came from that '30s heroin culture.

So he could actually speak to us.

And it resonated, because he wasn't bullshitting.

- You could go by there any time

and just hang out in his office and he'd tell stories and

he shot dope with Billie Holiday.

I mean, that's about all you need

to have done to have everyone

I know really listen to what you got to say.

(upbeat jazz music)

And I decided to volunteer there.

I was doing a lot.

I was fundraising, I was running groups,

I was, like, bringing people in.

And I just loved it.

I really loved it.

I loved being around addicts,

I loved being able to do the right thing.

The thing was you play concerts

for them and you raise money,

and then you have this pool of money

to, like, put people in drug treatment for free

and it was a really good thing

since most of our friends are musicians.

And most of them are drug addicts.

- You know, it doesn't really take that much effort

to get your little rock 'n' roll band together

and put on a show.

I'm fortunate I've been able to pay for my own,

you know treatment.

And all these people very close to me that,

you know, don't have those means,

and MAP has been very good to those people.

- [Bob] For the first year I worked there,

400 people went through treatment.

For free.

What a fuckin' great job.

And I was good at it.

And Buddy recognized that I was good at it,

and he had taught me everything and how to talk with people.

He used to always say,

"We want the shoulders to relax.

Whatever you gotta do to make their shoulders relax."

I was, like, very involved and not being paid.

And all the while I was working at Millie's

and just building a life and getting sobriety

and it's all clicking.

- In the middle of a really busy shift,

(phone ringing)

Bob would get this phone call

from some guy who wanted to get sober,

and so everything would stop.

The dishes would get stopped washing.

Salsa wouldn't be made,

and there'd be a full restaurant with tables full

and people wanting their food and

I'm back there going, "Bob, what are you doing?

I need this stuff," and he's like,

he would hang up the phone and go,

"Saving lives, Iris, saving lives."

- I think I was at a board meeting one day

and I mean, you know, how it is when artists

kinda just bare their soul and give everything they have

and there was Bob in this room giving everything

he had to like,

"If we're gonna do this, let's do this right."

This is how we're gonna do it.

You know and it was fantastic.

- Bob has been in service since day one.

Since just about when he got clean.

There are so many musicians,

especially around this town, who say they,

they owe their lives to Bob Forrest.

- Well, he's given up his life

for the 12th step, essentially.

I mean, he's a martyr in some ways.

He could have, he could have,

you know, he could have, he was a contender,

in terms of music.

You know, he's a great songwriter,

he's a giving, giving good soul.

You have no idea how many times he's

helped my family.

You know he's really, really sacrificed a lot for this.

And it's poignant,

because he's given up

any glory to deal with really traumatized people.

- Even though everybody else was doing it,

some people handle it okay and some don't.

And I didn't.

That's what happened.

That's why I lost my,

you know, my gig with my band was for the drugs.

And I went off the deep end with that.

I was alone.

And I didn't know what to do.

I remember I was shooting up on the toilet

and I just remember coming to.

I was hitting my face on the bathroom floor,

coming to.

And I saw a towel in front of me

and I remember trying to reach for it

to put it under my face.

And I go smashing my face on the floor.

And I had a seizure,

and then I had a small stroke.

- [Interviewer] And that didn't get you sober?

- No.

I would, I felt I would, at that time

in my life I felt all alone.

I wanted to kill myself.

- You know I like it when an addict says,

"Well what's the point of being sober?"

If you give them some bullshit line at that moment of truth,

it's gonna affect their belief

about what's possible or what, what life is really about.

And I'd just always get back to, "Look at how you're living.

I don't really know how you're gonna live sober,

but let's just look at how you're living.

Everybody's mad at you.

You're physically ill all the time.

You feel bad about yourself.

You wanna die sometimes.

I mean, and you're fighting to continue living that way.

That's addiction in a nutshell."

- Bob has a way

of speaking to somebody with respect

and love.

He has been supporting me and helping me

and given me so many chances to get myself together.

I'm not saying there wasn't relapses 'cause there was.

But what Bob explained to me very basically

is that's a part of getting sober.

It's just gonna happen.

- [Bob] One of my best friends said,

"Listen, Bob, you know,

you're great at influencing junkies to get well,

but that ain't chemical dependency.

That's like you and your personality.

MAP was designed by Buddy

who really doesn't do things by the book,

but there is a whole science of chemical dependency.

And you need to know about it."

- [Host] Westwood One presents

Dr. Drew Live.

Broadcasting live from Los Angeles and across the nation.

He's the real deal.

And he's on the air, now.

- We are, we are live.

Joining me in the first hour is Bob Forrest.

He and I have worked, ah, there he is.

Bob and I first met back in the, about mid '80s, I'd say.

- [Bob] Yeah, I think so.

- Bob was in a band called Thelonious Monster.

He used to visit my show Lovelin as an on-air guest.

- [Bob] Intoxicated on-air guest.

- Uh, intoxicated does not begin to describe

what you were like.

(Bob laughing)

And then so fast forward about 10 years.

I assume Bob Forrest is dead.

I really did.

I just felt badly.

Just, you know, I didn't think

there was any chance you would survive that.

And I, my first recollection of re-encountering you

was giving a lecture for Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

- [Bob] Yeah, I was there at that.

- And it was a crazy documentary

that Bill Nye was doing on addiction,

and you were there in the audience

asking these great questions

and I thought, "Man, I know this guy, I know this guy,

I know this guy."

(Bob laughing)

And you introduced yourself

and I couldn't believe it was you.

Couldn't believe it was the same person.

I was shocked.

Basically I just told him you come with me, please.

Please, please, please.

I could see the talent,

I could see what he had to offer.

It was, when somebody has what he has, it's obvious.

And I brought him down here.

Immediately, you know, threw him into the mix.

I was anxious to have him as involved

as we could possibly get him.

Because important people on a chemical dependency team

really create the ethos and the feel

and the functioning of the unit

and so I wanted him to be that guy.

- Drew tried to educate me

on chemical dependency theories

and modalities and how you treat these things.

He said you need to learn every aspect of it.

- This is the education of Bob Forrest.

This is whole process that we're going through here.

- It's a threefold disease.

It's psychological and spiritual and physical.

See I had a different addiction.

My addiction was it's cool to be high.

The addicts I'm dealing with today

don't think it's cool to be high.

They think they're following a doctor's prescription

or that they're psychologically damaged through trauma,

and they have to do this.

It's a different kind of rationale.

- [Dr. Drew] I've watched his development

from being somebody who had a solid program of recovery

who was just trying to be of assistance,

to somebody who has a very sophisticated understanding

of the complexities of neurobiological, psychiatric,

and addiction elements in this disease.

- I was so idealistic about our mission

and about helping people.

But then there's this other component

where if I saw all the bullshit

on the recovery industry that I don't like.

The fact of the matter is,

it's as corrupted as the used car business.

(upbeat rock music)

- The recovery industry has changed a lot.

And I think like any other industry,

it gets taken over by a machine that wants to make money.

- Once the HMO system started cutting down

on days allowed for treatment,

all the revenue was starting to dry up

and that's when most of the doctors thought

we need to go to harm reduction.

Harm reduction is suboxone and benzodiazepine

and ongoing use of that prescribed by doctors

who know nothing about addiction.

And calling that addiction medicine.

- [Shelley] And so what's happened is,

is the pharmaceutical companies

have come up with ways to make drug addicts have drugs,

and still be considered sober.

- The question is, if somebody wants to come to us

that's been on suboxone, say for, like,

three years like a friend of mine has-

- Ugh.

- At 32 milligrams.

- Oh, my God.

- What I recommend is

getting back on heroin for like a month.

Heroin is an easier drug to get off of than suboxone

which is the replacement drug for heroin addicts.

(upbeat rock music)

Drug treatment in America's changing,

and it's already changed and most people just don't know it.

Four years ago, there was an 80/20 split,

where 80% of the people believed

in abstinence-based treatment.

Four years later,

it's 20/80 the other way.

Where addictionologists, addiction specialists,

are now talking about you can be sober

on addictive medications.

But the main reason why any of this is happening

was because the recovery industry was unwilling

to look at itself.

It has 95% failure rate.

And it has since its inception.

And it's never tried any new modality

or any kind of psychology or life coaching or whatever.

It's never tried anything different.

Though it's been failing 95% of the time for 30 years.

- Bob's just flipping out.

He's just going like nobody's getting clean here.

You know and I'm like, "Yeah, I know."

So he started talking about his philosophy

with the administration.

- It's difficult for him because he's not a nurse

and not a doctor and I could tell he was feeling upset

by the way they were treating him.

You can't get that way with, with nurses and doctors,

it's the military here.

You just carry out your orders, deal with the structure,

don't take it personally.

- He was just getting in fight

after fight after fight after fight.

The administration did not want to produce,

you know, a treatment center that had no drugs,

and I think he just,

like threw his hands up and he was just like, "No."

You know, "This is not what I agree with

and I'm not gonna do this.

I'm not gonna pretend like this is okay."

And he just walked out and he never came back.

(light acoustic guitar music)

- [Bob] I know what needs to be done.

It's just like that facing that fear

of jumping off and doing it.

- Bob just, he cares.

It sounds really corny,

but he really does.

He's opened up his life like,

there was always somebody sleeping on his couch

trying to get sober, even though they weren't sober

and they were probably ripping him off.

I'll always go "Well, that's gonna do, this could happen."

I just think Bob misses that and he just goes,

"Well, I'm just gonna help this person."

- Yeah, and I've seen him

giving five bucks to addicts

to go stay on the bus,

and then he's like pulling out and he's only got 10 bucks,

and giving some kid his last 10 bucks.

- I have a lot of respect

for who he's turned himself into,

you know, it's been a long road and hasn't been glamorous.

♪ Don't ever lived in, but I do have faith ♪

♪ Love is the answer to a burning ache ♪

- [Bob] "It looks so soft and snuggly inside," Roo said.

"Just like Mama's pouch."

- Pouch.

- Pouch.

"I wonder what kind of bird made it," Piglet said.

"It's awfully small."

"I know," Roo said,

"It's a hummingbird.

They're the smallest birds of all."

- He's one of the best friends I'll ever have.

He was like the least likely person to become the Phoenix

who rises from, you know, a pile of shit.

But he has completely risen.

♪ And friends have come you know and friends have gone ♪

♪ To throw your life away's so fuckin' wrong ♪

♪ The trick is to burn, burn, burn ♪

♪ But don't burn out ♪

- Bob's a true friend.

He's my true friend.

You know, I know that I can call Bob

no matter what I'm going through

and I can talk to him about it

and I don't have to ever worry about being judged

or being scared of making myself feel vulnerable

around Bob or anything.

He's my true friend.

He always will be.

I love Bob.

♪ Well, here I stand ♪

♪ Bloodied and battled ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ I'm still around ♪

- There was a certain point in time

when I was still out there.

And what I knew was that I'd be in

this constant state of misery for the rest of my life

because that's just the way things are and you don't know

that there's another way to do it.

But when you see these examples,

everybody I came up with had

turned the corner except for me.

I wanted what they had.

I wanted to be part of my circle of friends,

and that's what happened.

That's how I turned my world around.

- You know you're never gonna stop anybody

from doing anything.

What you're gonna do is give hints

to people of what's possible.

And what's possible is,

even if you're a complete failure fuck-up drug addict,

you can get sober and become purposeful.

I mean that's,

that's the message I thought would get out

through this thing.

And that's an important message,

way more important than how many records somebody sold.

♪ And the trick is to burn, burn, burn ♪

♪ But don't burn out ♪

♪ Burn, burn, burn ♪

♪ But don't burn out ♪

Well, you're just supposed to be,

let your candle burn out and just give in or whatever and

shuffle off?

Fuck that.

The people that are mad for living need

to stay mad for living the whole time.

- [Interviewer] Are you still mad for living?

- Oh, yeah.

♪ Well here I stand ♪

♪ Bloodied and battled ♪

♪ Well, here I am ♪

♪ I'm still around ♪

Yeah, awesome looking.

It's awesome.

Yeah, boy, this is gonna be bad-ass.

Okay, so it's called Hollywood Recovery Services.

We're in the center of it.

Drew is the addictionology adviser.

Like a consultant.

And Shelly is the administrator.

I'm Bob.

(laughing)

Fuckin' title.

I'm gonna do my own thing.

I'm gonna do it the way I think it needs to be done,

the way I think it'll be more successful.

I'm gonna treat patients with dignity

and love and compassion.

I'm gonna be honest with them.

I'm not gonna be mad at them

if they don't like what I'm trying to help them accomplish.

If they fail or stumble or are defiant,

I'm not gonna get into arguments with them.

I just wanna love and help and encourage and nurture

and steer people in a more positive direction in their life.

I mean, I got grandiose motherfuckin' plans for this.

This is gonna be punk rock.

Punk rock recovery.

(upbeat rock music)

♪ They tore down ship's just like ♪

♪ They tore down tiny Naylor's ♪

♪ They'll tear down anything in this town ♪

♪ They'll do just about anything to squeeze an extra dime ♪

♪ They'll probably even sell their own grandmothers ♪

♪ Ah, but Lena Horne still sin Stormy Weather ♪

♪ Yeah, things, they're bad, but they could get better ♪

♪ Yeah, things, they're bad, but they could get better ♪

♪ And I'm just waiting to see which way to go ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm just waiting to see which way to go ♪

- You know I got kids now and I got my act together.

When I got out of rehab, Bob gave me those pants

that are on the scarecrow back there.

I mean, he helped me, he helped them, get me into MAP.

You know, he was in tight with Buddy.

It's something that, you know-

- I want some cereal.

- Okay, let's got get it.

So, yeah, when back in the '90s we were pretty

whacked,

(laughs)

to say the least.

And now,

I'm happy to say we're doing a lot better.

(light acoustic guitar music)

♪ Well, you can't hurt me 'cause I'm un-hurtable ♪

♪ And you can't scare me 'cause I'm un-shakable ♪

♪ And you can't touch me 'cause I'm un-reachable ♪

♪ And you can't get me 'cause I'm un-forgettable ♪

♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again ♪

♪ I made my mind up I'm not gonna to do it again ♪

♪ Well, I've done things that are unforgivable ♪

♪ I've made mistakes that are irreversible ♪

♪ So please don't give it 'cause I can't take it ♪

♪ I've made my bed now I'm gonna lay in it ♪

♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again ♪

♪ Yeah, I made my mind up I'm not gonna do it again ♪

♪ Well, love and happiness are inconceivable ♪

♪ So don't love me 'cause I'm unlovable ♪

♪ And don't tease me 'cause I'm un-temptable ♪

♪ And you can't be with me 'cause I'm un-bewithable ♪

♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again ♪

♪ I made my mind up I'm not gonna to do it again ♪

♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again ♪

♪ Yeah, I made my mind up I'm not gonna do it again ♪

(upbeat rock music)

♪ I don't know why I keep wondering why ♪

♪ Why is a waste of the question ♪

♪ Yet people believe what they wanna believe ♪

♪ They do it, they do it for no reason ♪

♪ I am done with being right ♪

♪ Right and wrong have no meaning ♪

♪ But the sky's never been so good ♪

♪ And the sun's never shined so bright ♪

♪ And the magic is in your eyes ♪

♪ In your eyes, in your eyes ♪

♪ I keep telling myself it's gonna be all right ♪

♪ Yeah, I keep telling myself it's gonna be all right ♪

♪ I just keep telling myself it's gonna be all right ♪

♪ Be all right ♪