Original subtitles

In the beginning, there was the word.

And the word was Belial.

It was simply the name of a demon.

But to speak it aloud was to risk the wrath of the beast.

And so the word became flesh.

And the flesh became a book.

The Necronomicon.

Legend told that within its pages, hidden between ancient rituals and

superstitions, lay a spell so powerful that to merely decipher it was enough to

drive the reader insane.

One night, as the cloud gathered at yet another battle in the soul of mankind,

the Necronomicon simply disappeared.

Centuries passed, and the name of Belial faded into the darkest recesses of

time.

Ladies, so lovely to see you, as always.

You're all looking particularly beautiful this evening.

Did you miss me?

I'm sorry I'm late, but traffic was deadly.

But to make up for it, I brought you all something very special for dinner.

Mmm, finger -lickin' good.

Hey, Durant.

You're going to be so mad.

Ow.

Let's go.

How you doing, Rox?

I'm not going to be auditioning for cast anytime soon.

Anytime, Bridget. Don't rush me. I don't work well under stress.

I hope he's had this thing tuned.

Did you hear that?

Shit! Let's get out of here, Bridget! I'm trying!

um

Wrong number?

Um, I'm waiting for somebody.

She's going to be here any minute.

So why don't we keep her company until she shows up? Yeah, we're real good

company.

Oh, that hurts.

That hurt.

Come back, baby.

Come on, pretty girl. You

boys

looking for a good time?

Leslie. All right.

Enough to go around for everybody.

I'll make you a deal.

You can do whatever you want to me, but stay away from my sister.

I'll tell you what. We'll do what we want to you, and then we'll let you

what we do to her. How about that, huh? You like that, pretty fella?

My car's parked out front.

Go. What about you?

Go.

You're toast, bitch!

But no more Mrs. Nice Guy.

You

like

it?

Where did you... I mean, how can you afford this car?

Turns out I have a head for business.

Who knew?

I'm so happy you're here.

What happened to those guys?

Oh, nothing. They can't sleep off.

Yeah, but where did you learn how to do that?

I've been going through some changes since I left home.

What kind of changes?

You and I need to have a talk.

Back of the line, my ass.

Don't they know who they dealing with?

Yo, yo, check out that hot booty on that bitch.

I think that was a guy.

What?

Damn, don't shut up.

You're messing with my vibe, my groove.

Come on, y 'all feel like you ain't never been to a rave before, Holmes?

I ain't.

Neither of you. Shut up.

I've been raved. I don't think Uncle Frankie's dad counts as a rave, Jeff.

I thought I told you not to call me that when we got here.

Yo, yo, what up, dawg?

And lose the hat, okay? Because that's totally uncool.

You've got SAT scores higher than most people's mortgage payments.

What's with the whole dumb boy thing?

Bro, it's Doughboy. That's my tag.

Doughboy. See, the bitch is here.

They think I got dough.

Bitches love dough.

Probably not as much as they love being called bitches.

Little teacher arrived.

Ashley, this is Bridget, guardian of all she sees.

Welcome to Party Central.

Thanks. Yo.

Yo. Jim, where's the gym?

Ah, forget it, dog.

Strictly lesbionic.

Think? Yo, Holmes, in the history of us being cousins, have I stood you wrong

yet?

You mean besides the time you figured we could make your own acid, try it out at

the family reunion?

Three hours to get Grandma off the chandelier and another hour to get her

clothes back on.

Not pretty.

What up, Holmes?

Word.

Wow.

This is cool.

You ain't seen nothing yet, little sister.

You ready? I guess so.

Good. Welcome to your new life.

Come on, I've got something to show you.

They're here.

You think she told her yet?

Ten bucks doesn't know.

When?

You're on.

Ready? Come on.

It's just you and the other girls?

You're running the whole thing yourself?

Well, that's the best part of it. We answer to nobody but us.

Sounds great.

It is.

Oh, my God.

You don't like it?

Are you kidding? I love it. You all live here?

Well, Dave's on rent, travels with us wherever we go.

Home sweet home.

You're home, too, now, if you want it to be.

Oh, my God. What have you got in here?

Rocks?

It's some school books. I thought I'd try and take one of those mail -order

courses, you know, to keep up.

You always were the bookworm of the family, huh?

Well, see what I can find out about schools around here.

That's okay. I don't want to bother you.

Hey, we're family.

We belong together. You remember that.

Now, the first thing we gotta do is get you a new outfit.

Oh, God.

It got that bad?

When Dad, when he drank.

I knew I should have taken you with me when I left.

But I couldn't. I mean, a lot of things happen, and I just... I couldn't.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

When I heard that the old bastard... When I heard that he was dead, I knew it

was finally time for you to come here and live with us.

I used to lie in bed at night, on the quiet nights anyway, and I would try to

imagine where you were and what you were doing, but I never

imagined anything like this.

Well, there's a lot more to come.

So why don't you change and relax a bit and just come on down when you're ready.

I'm working the bar with Buzz tonight and she's probably freaking right now,

so... Buzz?

What happened back there?

How did you... Yeah, um, you and I were gonna need to have a talk.

You're getting slow.

You're getting noisy.

So how is she?

Tired.

You know what I meant.

I haven't told her yet. Oh, Leslie.

I know, I know. I will.

As soon as the time is right, I will. The time better be right soon.

Not that long, Tom. Bye -bye.

Is this all yours?

It's not much, but I call it home.

Look, um, I just wanted you to know that I've never done this before.

This is Renny.

You take care of things for me when I'm indisposed.

Hi.

Thank you, Rennie.

Thank you, Rennie.

I hope you like champagne.

This is a very special vintage.

It's been in my cellar for centuries.

Uh, what I was saying before?

About, I mean...

Tonight. That was the first time that I ever went to that street.

I know.

You do?

I could tell by the way you were standing there.

Your poise, you were.

Elegance.

I knew you were different than all the rest.

I could tell.

That you were a lady.

And I knew

that you would be mine.

Daddy?

No! Daddy!

You're 36.

Yo, I moisturize.

Yo, bitch, don't be disrespecting me.

Don't call me a bitch.

Diet Pepsi, please.

You aren't really gonna... And wait for one of my expensive silver bullets?

Yeah, right.

What do you want?

A bottle of water?

Two bottles of water are coming right up.

Hey.

Hi.

That's how you're in line with her.

Oh, yeah, that's funny.

So, um, you two, uh, you know... She's my sister.

Sister? Good, that's great!

This is my first rape.

Yeah, me too.

On the house.

Boys and girls!

Boys who are girls, girls who are boys.

Boys who do boys who do girls, and everybody in between, welcome to the

night of the year.

That's right, kids.

The winter solstice, longest night of the year. The sun went down at 4 .39,

it's not going to show its ugly face again until 7 .38 tomorrow morning.

And until then, the night is ours, babies, and we are going to party.

Bro, I've just seen an angel right up there in heaven.

She's hot.

Hot enough to make the dough ball rise.

Later.

Wanna dance?

Have you seen the bats?

Never mind.

Thank you.

Pretty girls should dance.

No, thank you.

Good girl.

Doesn't take no for an answer.

Woo!

Yeah, baby, you move good.

You mind if I cut in?

Mind if I cut in?

Check out Richie fucking Cuttingham.

No, you may not cut in.

You may...

Maybe we should ask the lady.

I don't like being touched.

You're gonna hate this.

He sent you.

Okay,

everybody, let's just kill.

Let's just keep things nice and smooth.

I

thought

he might have been one of Jones' goons.

He's too hot to be a goon.

You take care of him, then.

I was hoping she was going to say that.

Come on.

I'll get you some ice. It's okay.

I'll take care of you.

You must be Leslie's little sister.

Oh, I bet you're Marlene.

Just lean.

When my mama had me, she said, no more.

After you get him fixed up, get him a beer.

On me.

Thanks.

Duh, man.

Come on.

fucking clothes.

Relax.

Stress is bad for the blood.

What the fuck is this?

This is where we put troublemakers.

Should I be afraid?

A man like you should always be afraid.

No guy's ever done that before.

Done what?

Stuck up for me.

Then you've been hanging out with the wrong guys.

You live around here?

I'm visiting my cousin. I live with my folks down near Tagger's Corners.

That's nice.

Do you know where Tagger's Corners is?

No. Oh, you're still bleeding. There's a first aid kit in the back. Don't go

anywhere. No problem.

Compliments of the management.

Hey. That was my sister you were talking to.

Yeah, I know.

You like her?

Yeah, maybe, I guess.

Okay.

But you heard her and there won't be enough napkins in the bar. Got it,

Greenacres?

Got it.

There seems to be a chick.

Do it.

Let's do it.

Do it.

go anywhere.

Thank you.

Having a good time?

Yeah, great.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

You okay?

You walked right past me. You looked like you'd seen a ghost.

I love this song. Let's dance.

Come on.

I thought you wanted to dance.

I guess I should introduce myself, huh?

My name's Jim.

Weak bladder.

Okay, you gotta tell me what's your name.

Sorry, Ashley.

Okay, that's a good start.

Ashley, you wanna tell me what's going on?

You're not gonna believe me.

I followed you into the toilet.

Okay.

In the back room.

I went to get the first aid kit.

Very strange.

Like Michael Jackson strange?

The girl working the door, Bridget, she had that guy, the one who would hit you,

in the back room.

They were naked.

So they were having sex?

No. It wasn't like that.

She bit him.

Okay, so they're having rough sex.

No. She bit him.

Kids, they're having really rough sex.

How did you see all this?

I was watching them through a vent in the door.

And you think there's something strange about them?

About her? When she opened her mouth, I could see... I could see she had fangs.

Fangs?

She didn't just bite him. She was fucking his blood.

So you're saying the girl at the door is, uh, them... Liar.

Man, they told me you city girls were weird, but they never told me you were

crazy, too.

You have to believe me. Come on. Let's just go in that room. There's a guy

on the floor, and they're dead.

What the fuck are you two looking at?

One good thing about being raised on a farm, you know bullshit when you smell

it.

Jim, I'm telling you the truth.

Yeah, have a good night. See you around.

Hey, babe.

Want to give me a hand here?

Doctor said no heavy lifting.

This track is 11 minutes and

17 seconds.

Think that's enough time?

Oh yeah, I'll be done way before then.

Yo, let's get busy, baby.

You digging my bling bling? I'm more interested in your thing than your

Yo, you got a lot of nice equipment.

So do you.

What's that one?

The psychometer.

What's it for?

It measures and records the psychic energy in a room.

What would you want to do that for?

You ask a lot of questions for a guy who wants to get laid.

I'll stop talking now.

Fuck off.

Looking for my cousin Jeff?

That's Jim.

I'm busy.

Jeff, I thought you said your name was Doughboy. Yeah, I mean, Yo, that's my

name, Yo.

Sorry to bother you. Give me the keys.

Are you kidding me? Have you seen this place?

It's wall -to -wall fixes, bro.

Yeah, and they're all nuts.

No offense.

None taken.

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about?

Her.

Yo.

The lesbian?

She's not... Yeah, whatever.

You know what she just told me?

She said she saw that brunette working the door, turn into a vampire, and bite

some guy on the dick.

Dog. Is it wrong? I think that's kind of hot.

Give me the keys.

How am I going to get home?

Maybe you can get one of your bitches to give you a ride.

See?

And I am my wheel.

I'll be right back.

Yo.

And I've been waiting in this line for half an hour.

Don't you know what this night air can do to a girl's coiffure?

You're lucky it's not loaded.

And may I remind you that I'm not one of these riffraff here popping horse

tranquilizers down their gullet or snorting God knows what up their nose.

one of you.

And how do you figure that, Anesta?

You came to me, remember?

I helped you find the play.

I scored the equipment, the booze, the go -go dancers. The least you could do

show me the same respect you'd show any stranger on the street.

Or should I tell these pathetic morons just what kind of party they're getting

themselves into?

And just what sort of party is that? Don't play dumb with me, Millie.

I've seen things. I know what you are.

Yeah, don't let anybody else in until I get back.

Excuse me. Hello?

When does Christina Aguilera want her pants back?

So, I guess you owe me $20.

I was afraid this was going to happen.

Where'd she go?

Back room.

Go get Leslie.

Tell her we need the top.

Lane?

You're not trying to leave me, are you?

No.

Because that would hurt my feelings.

And you don't want to hurt my feelings, do you?

Please.

I'm a very sensitive man, Lane. You know that.

Do you want me?

Do you want me to turn you?

Is that what you want?

Leaving us so soon?

Yeah, yeah.

This isn't going to work out for me. I just feel it. I'm going to go back, you

know, home.

Leslie told me things weren't so good for you back there.

Why the sudden change of heart?

Leslie, she's been so good to me and everything. I just, I don't want to be a

bother.

Her. Liz.

Ashley.

This isn't exactly my place to tell you this, but... Well, your sister and me

and Roxy and Bridget and Buzz... We...

We're different.

Yeah? Yeah.

I was hoping that Leslie was going to tell you this, but... We're not like

normal girls.

Every time, no matter how many times you do it.

We're... Vampires!

Why do I always fall for them?

Bitches, line up for your witches.

Stop here, take a control.

Yo, can you feel me? Make some noise!

Let's get this party started!

Just relax, Ashley. All we want to do is talk to you.

Explain the facts of life.

I gotta talk to you.

It's going to have to wait. If you see Buzz, I am swamped back here.

What's going on up there?

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Please, I won't tell anyone.

I won't ever tell anyone. Ashley, be careful.

I guess it's time we had that talk.

Come on,

Jimbo. Come to the big city.

Come check out all the hot babes.

Let's party.

Maybe all city girls aren't crazy.

Nice evening.

You've been hanging out with the wrong guys.

You and I was talking.

Stop! Come on, Mama.

It's a new month.

No!

It's okay.

You're okay.

No. No, don't touch me. You're one of them. Ashley, just a second. Just listen

to me for a minute. No, get away from me. I'd say it's going well.

You're not my sister. You're not Leslie. Yes, I am.

I'm the same person that you've always known.

More or less.

Depending on your point of view.

You're a vampire!

No.

Not exactly.

Not exactly? What is that supposed to mean?

It means we're lower than vampires. We're like the white trash of vampires.

They call us thralls.

What's the difference? You still kill people. No, we don't. We just take

blood to survive.

And only from guys who seem like they have enough blood to spare.

Not that they're complaining.

They get off on it. They say it's better than sex.

Well, they do.

Yeah, until they turn into vampires. No, they don't. We can't turn people into

vampires. And we can't fly either.

We can't do any of the fun stuff.

But how did this happen to you?

His name's Joan.

Mmm, delicious.

Another one, Master?

I don't think so, Renny.

I'll be having dinner out tonight.

And I... I don't want to ruin my appetite.

Better than all right.

I think I just found our way out of this.

What is that?

It's called a book you breathe in.

Necromonican. It's Latin.

It basically means book of the dead.

You speak Latin?

Vassar. Class of 93.

You're kidding, right?

No book is going to get us out of here?

Why don't you get a broom, a black cat, and a cauldron while you're at it? You

got a better idea?

I'm sorry, I don't believe in witchcraft. Do you believe in vampires?

Here.

Thralls.

Living a half -life, neither fully vampire nor fully human.

Thralls are things to be pitied.

But all is not hopeless for these mixed -breed creatures.

For on the winter solstice...

The longest night of the year, the ritual of Belial can transform them

into complete creatures of the undead. Which means...

into vampires.

Who's Belial?

Okay. But whoever he was, he left the ritual for us in this book.

All we need to do is follow it. And Pinocchio becomes a real boy.

And we can kick Jones' ass.

I'm in.

Me too.

Okay, okay, but don't come crying to me when it doesn't work.

So, we drew straws.

Roxy got the short one.

And then we lost him.

And we've been running from him ever since.

Until tonight.

We finish the ritual, and Jones won't be able to control us anymore.

No one will.

Look, if you hate me, I understand if you want to go.

No.

No, I... I don't... I don't hate you. I don't hate any of you.

You caught me when I was falling.

You saved my life.

Any sister of Leslie's is a sister of ours.

I hate to interrupt this very special episode of Touched by a Vampire, but

got a fight going on out there.

Hey,

no, no, no. You're not going anywhere.

What? It took this long for us to get together again. I'm not going to lose

to some gangbanger with bad aim.

I'll come and get you when it's over.

I promise.

Be careful.

We've got the home team advantage.

Yeah, like I'm gonna miss all the fun.

Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hit girls?

Whoa,

Elvis.

No butting in.

I'm on the lift, precious.

Honey, I don't care if you're on Schindler's Lift.

The back of the line's that way.

Really? Really.

I guess you'll need a ride home Great

If I count, another 10 should do it. 11, 15.

We need all the psychic energy we can get.

Do either of you guys want one of these?

Nah.

I've already got some junk food.

It's your lucky day, boys.

You're going home full.

Do you really think this is going to work?

It has to.

20 minutes.

Give me the book. I don't have the book. I thought you had it. I gave it to you.

Uh, hello. I've been a little busy summoning up the forces of darkness.

Do I have to do everything myself?

20 minutes.

Now, where was I?

Yo.

Belial.

The ritual of Belial.

No more flies, no more spiders.

Finally, a real human of my own.

Yeah, baby.

That's it.

That's right.

You are the best bitch ever.

You sure know the right words to say.

Invoc... Invocation of the

demon.

Enslavement.

Oh, shit.

Coming.

Hello, Rocky.

Listening.

What happened to the music?

Guys, we've got a...

Oh, God.

Hardly. Uh, everyone just... Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that

this party is now over.

It's what you kindly leave through the exit doors in a common orderly fashion.

You did

But

how good to see

you maybe you can tell the feeling thought mutual I'll have to admit I'm a

little disappointed After all the time we spent together, do you think you can

kill me with a bullet? Yeah.

What about a silver bullet, asshole?

That's right. Now drop the stick before I pull a Lone Ranger on your ass.

Okay.

Good work, Buzz.

I'll take it from here.

Got any more guns around?

No. Good.

Lane,

what are you doing?

Surviving.

Right, Jonesy?

Jonesy?

Now, for the last...

against you. I'm just not gay, all right?

One time at summer camp, that was just... I launched our vlog.

You should be dead.

Yeah.

Well, I was, but the master needed me, so... Who's the master?

That guy.

You're one of them.

No, not yet, no.

I've got to go find Ashley.

No, wait. Come back.

You're mine. The master said I could have you.

Why?

You're not going to give it to me? Then I'm just going to take it.

This is so beautiful.

Have we prepared for the rest of the ritual?

Roxy, insolence is not an attractive quality in a woman.

Now, are we ready or aren't we?

How can you do this, Lane?

It's really pretty simple.

I was tired of being a slave.

I'll tell you.

First, you have to do one little thing for me.

Just one.

the ritual we could have been full vampires we could have had power do you

really think that's what this is all about girl girl girl hasn't it occurred

you that this has all been just a little easy hmm I think about it

finding the book escaping from the house planning the biggest

party of the year and where pray tell do you think All this money came

from.

So that Texas oil guy you think gave it to you?

Hey, Virginia, there ain't no Santa Claus.

It's almost time.

Where's the book?

I'll go get it.

Roxy left it in the back with Leslie's little sister.

Little sister?

Mm -hmm.

Well, allow me.

No.

Leave her alone, Jones!

Relax, Leslie.

Everybody's got to have their first.

Oh, God.

Leslie?

Leslie's a little busy right now.

She sent me to get you.

Who are you?

The name is Jones.

Mr. Jones.

A friend of the family.

What's taking so long up there?

Screw you, Lean.

Relax, Leslie.

You know Jones.

I'm sure he'll be gentle.

What do you get out of all this?

Me?

He's promised to turn me.

I'll be a full vampire.

His bride.

And rule by side for eternity.

And you bought that?

This is bullshit.

There's only one of her and three of us. Which gives me two bullets left.

You are really quite beautiful, you know that?

I think you're even prettier than your sister.

No, she's the pretty one.

And shy, too.

That is so nice.

Young women that are modest these days are so rare.

Where's Busley?

Well, she can take care of herself.

But I think sometimes you need a little help.

Don't you?

No.

Yes.

Yes, you do.

I can see that.

I can see into those big blue eyes.

There's just a little girl in there, waiting for Daddy to come home and make

everything better.

But Daddy wasn't very nice, was he?

He was angry.

You promised you would never tell.

And you never have.

Not a soul.

All these years.

Such a good little girl.

So brave.

But you don't have to worry anymore.

I'll take care of you.

You'll be safe with me.

You can be my little girl now.

I don't need another daddy. One was enough. Thanks.

That was a mistake.

I came to rescue you.

Come on.

That's Mr.

Vampire Asshole to you.

Ashley,

get out of here! Listen to your sister, Ashley!

Give me the book.

Who are you? Let them liver this thing of charcoal.

What's out of your eyes?

You have no idea. I know what the ritual Belial really is.

She told you it would turn you into vampires, right? Well, it won't. That's

what the ritual is for. We lied to you.

You mean you didn't even go to Vassar?

Belial is an incredibly powerful demon. End of the world stuff.

Whoever resurrects it controls it. That's what Jones is trying to do. But

to happen tonight, the winter solstice or else.

No! Ashley!

Am I bugging you?

Don't do this to me.

Not now.

Come on.

I'm sorry.

I guess I got in the way after all.

Your book, Master.

Oh, very good, very good, very good, very good, very good.

Almost midnight.

It's demon time.

Please. Ashley, please.

Can't you do something?

Like what?

Keep her alive?

How are we supposed to do that?

No.

Vampirize her. We're not full vampires.

We're just thralls.

You can't turn somebody into a full vampire.

How do you know if you've never tried?

Jones told us that... Oh, yeah.

He's been real honest so far.

When's the last time you listened to a man?

No, it has.

I can't do that to my sister. I can't make her one of us.

She's going to die.

What do you have to lose?

Here honey, you have to drink this.

Swallow it, please.

I don't know.

We're half vampires, right?

Maybe it takes two of us to make a full one.

Honey, you see, what happened with Dorothy, she had to stay.

Stay away.

Jonesy, it wasn't my fault.

You can't leave me here alone.

You're right.

Ready?

Yes, Master.

She's all yours.

No.

No, you said we would be together forever.

You said you would rule side by side for eternity.

People change.

Get away from me, you freak.

And now I have some unfinished business to take care of.

Leave him alone.

Take me.

I don't eat corn -fed meat.

Oh, Miss Lee, you have no idea how much I've been looking forward to this.

You're gonna be my first. You're not in this life if you don't...

You two are coming home with me.

And what I'm going to do to you is nothing compared to what I'm going to do

your... Where's your sister?

Hey, Joan!

Looking for a good time?

Thralls can't fly.

She's not a thrall.

She's a vampire.

Run!

Welcome to the family.

You wanted me once before.

Leave them alone.

Let them live and you can have me.

Come on, Jones.

You've already tasted them.

Don't you want some fresh meat?

You made me a vampire.

What are sisters for?

Somebody please tell me what the hell just happened.

Hi. Can we talk about this?

But first, can one of you please take this sword out of my body?

so much don't mention it you know i i think that this whole party thing is a

great idea of yours i mean i really really do wow so since i put in the seed

money maybe we can come up with some sort of mutually beneficial agreement

like what well i want to be fair let's say um 80 20

80 going to me

Okay, um, 70 -30?

60 -40?

How about a nice even split?

Five ways.

What do we do now?

I don't know. I kind of liked running a nightclub.

Yeah, maybe we should find another place.

Maybe a bunch of other places. We could have a chain.

We could call it Froll.

Yeah, and serve Bloody Mary.

And Bloody Eddie's and Bloody Richard's.

The sun's coming up.

I guess you gotta go.

Yeah. Um, thanks.

For everything.

It's good to know all men aren't bloodsuckers.

Well, enough are.

But looks like you can handle yourself pretty well now.

Hey, why don't you come with us?

We could use an extra hand running the business.

Especially somebody who could work the daylight shift.

Nah, I don't think so. It's a girl's thing.

Maybe it is time I get in touch with my feminine side.

So, this whole vampire thing, what's it like? Not bad. When you

get used to it. You're not going to bite me or anything, are you? Not unless you

want me to. Let me get back to you on that.

Yo Jim boy, ah dog, he's got my Hey

see

me here

Hey, watch it.

Oh, laugh it up, fun boy.

There,

see? See that?

I'm going to be a whole person very soon, and you're going to be very, very

dead.

Asswipe.

Gonna be down soon, bro.

This isn't fair.

Hey, come on, come on.

I scratch your back, you scratch mine. What do you say?

I can give you money.

I can give you power.

Hmm?

Can you give me some bitches?

Yo.