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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,960
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,920
It was my lucky day when
I met you on the 151 bus.
3
00:00:05,919 --> 00:00:07,879
Yeah. I got to thank
that shirtless crackhead
4
00:00:07,879 --> 00:00:10,039
who scared you into
sitting next to me.
5
00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:11,249
(laughs)
6
00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:11,249
Yo, look,
7
00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:12,540
I know it's last-minute,
but, you know,
8
00:00:12,539 --> 00:00:13,959
there's an art walk tonight,
you trying to go?
9
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,790
Sure.
10
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,790
Yeah?
11
00:00:15,789 --> 00:00:17,499
Then maybe after we
could get drinks?
12
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,920
Oh, like at your place?
13
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,000
Has to be. I don't get
paid till Friday.
14
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
(speaks indistinctly)
15
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,040
Mmm.
16
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,040
All right, see you.
17
00:00:23,039 --> 00:00:25,959
Interesting.
An art walk in Uptown.
18
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,920
On your right,
the Picasso sculpture,
19
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,710
and on your left,
a urine-stained mattress.
20
00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:30,960
(chuckles)
21
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:34,000
Well, I'm hoping that art walk
turns into an art hangout
22
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000
which leads to
an art let's-take-our-pants-off.
23
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:38,920
Hey, kid, you ready for tonight?
24
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:39,920
What you talking about?
25
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,420
The Hawks are playing
the Redwings.
26
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:43,170
If we win,
we're in the playoffs.
27
00:00:43,170 --> 00:00:44,880
Oh, that's tonight.
28
00:00:43,170 --> 00:00:44,880
Yeah!
29
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,920
Oh, listen, it's gonna be
a cold one, so I thought
30
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,960
I'd make a little fire
and make some hot chocolate.
31
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,830
I know, dairy doesn't
agree with you,
32
00:00:50,829 --> 00:00:53,669
but I got that soy milk
that you love. Huh?
33
00:00:55,829 --> 00:00:58,669
Damn. Dude needs
a girlfriend, man.
34
00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:00,330
Looks like he's got one.
35
00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:02,999
Ha!
36
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:06,790
Hey, look, Arthur, man,
I-I can't watch the game.
37
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:06,790
What?
38
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:09,500
Oh, how are we gonna win if we
don't wear our lucky jerseys?
39
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:11,790
And rub the gnome's belly?
40
00:01:11,789 --> 00:01:13,119
Arthur, listen, the thing is,
41
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,250
I already made plans
with Nadine, okay?
42
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:18,330
And I was kind of hoping that
she and I would rub bellies.
43
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,080
I'm-I'm sorry for flaking.
44
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,080
That's all right.
45
00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:24,079
Just be more hot
chocolate for me.
46
00:01:24,079 --> 00:01:25,879
Hot chocolate does sound good.
47
00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:28,789
You talking about the drink
or Nadine?
48
00:01:32,079 --> 00:01:34,119
♪ ♪
49
00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:40,539
Tush!
50
00:01:40,539 --> 00:01:42,039
There you are.
You left something
51
00:01:42,039 --> 00:01:44,169
in the coat that you
dropped off at my dry cleaners.
52
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,290
(chuckles) Really, Tush?
53
00:01:45,289 --> 00:01:46,749
You don't seem a dry
cleaning kind of guy.
54
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:48,170
Fawz and I bartered.
55
00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:51,170
I did a little animal show
for his niece's birthday.
56
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:53,000
Unfortunately, one of the mice
gave birth,
57
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,460
and then the snake ate
the babies...
58
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:58,540
So there were some tears.
59
00:01:58,539 --> 00:02:02,039
But that's the circle of life!
Which I then sang.
60
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:06,039
Needless to say, someone's not
gonna forget turning five.
61
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,830
And thank you.
62
00:02:07,829 --> 00:02:11,249
A check for $600.
You know, you should cash that.
63
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:14,000
I'm sure Elizabeth Miller
would appreciate that.
64
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,420
You're right, I will.
65
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:17,379
And it's dated from
two months ago.
66
00:02:17,379 --> 00:02:19,039
For someone living
check to check,
67
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,959
this sure is a
curious oversight.
68
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,040
Well, this was fun.
I gotta go.
69
00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:26,169
Oh, my God, is that
Bruce Springsteen?
70
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,670
Bruce?
71
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,620
That was a Dominican woman
wearing a bandana.
72
00:02:33,329 --> 00:02:35,209
Something fishy
is going on here.
73
00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:37,540
I've seen every episode
of a little show called
74
00:02:37,539 --> 00:02:40,499
CSI Colon Crime Scene
Investigation...
75
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:44,000
so I know when information
is being kept from me.
76
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,250
Like how to say the name
of a TV show?
77
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,170
Leave it alone, Fawz.
It's none of our business.
78
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,460
I'm a businessman, Maya.
Everything is my business.
79
00:02:59,039 --> 00:03:03,079
(groans) Stop talking!
80
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,880
Randy, we didn't say nothing.
81
00:03:05,879 --> 00:03:09,119
No, it's not you.
My mom's in town.
82
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,670
I've been holding that in
since breakfast.
83
00:03:12,669 --> 00:03:15,249
All she wants to do is shop.
84
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:18,210
We went to T.J.Maxx,
then we went to Marshalls.
85
00:03:18,210 --> 00:03:21,170
It's the same store.
86
00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:22,880
Oh, no, but you love your mom.
87
00:03:22,879 --> 00:03:24,459
Yeah, I do.
88
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:27,080
And I think she's been really
lonely ever since my dad died.
89
00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:29,419
Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:29,419
So I'm trying to spend
more time with her.
91
00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:33,460
Randy, honey,
I've got great news!
92
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:36,670
Ross Dress for Less
has just opened up
93
00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:38,920
a new store on the corner.
94
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,500
Oh, that is great, Mom.
95
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:44,670
I've been looking for something
flammable in a primary color.
96
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:46,080
(both laugh)
97
00:03:46,079 --> 00:03:48,039
Do I hear Helen DeLuca?
98
00:03:48,039 --> 00:03:49,829
(laughs) Oh!
99
00:03:48,039 --> 00:03:49,829
(laughs)
100
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:51,209
Arthur, oh, my!
101
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:51,209
Look at you.
102
00:03:51,210 --> 00:03:53,080
(laughing)
103
00:03:53,079 --> 00:03:55,749
Well, Florida's been
treating you well.
104
00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:57,210
Oh, thanks.
105
00:03:57,210 --> 00:04:00,500
This place is so filled
with memories.
106
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:03,960
I can just picture Leo sitting
over here at this table.
107
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,830
Yep, there he was, whiling
away the day, eating donuts.
108
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:10,580
Yes, and now his daughter
carries that torch.
109
00:04:14,289 --> 00:04:15,749
Hey, listen, I'm gonna
get you a cup of coffee,
110
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,000
and, uh, we'll catch up,
all right?
111
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,790
Oh, that, I'd love it,
I'd love it.
112
00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:22,290
Uh, Randy, honey, what about
our shopping spree?
113
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:24,120
I was gonna get you
a bathing suit.
114
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,040
With a skirt.
It's time, honey, it's time.
115
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,920
It's like she forgets
I have a gun.
116
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,540
It's okay, Mom.
We got all week to shop.
117
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:38,290
Yo, Arthur...
Helen seems pretty dope.
118
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:39,790
Yeah, she's a barrel
of laughs.
119
00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:41,920
We all had such
great times together.
120
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,620
Yeah?
121
00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:45,580
Hey, Helen!
You like the Blackhawks?
122
00:04:45,579 --> 00:04:47,419
Oh, I love 'em!
Arthur,
123
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:51,500
remember we went to Flannigan's
to watch all the games?
124
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,170
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
125
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,170
Is that place still around?
126
00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:55,290
Yeah, it's still there.
Except Flannigan's dead.
127
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,960
His son shot him,
it's a tragic story.
128
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,420
Hey, why don't you two watch
the game together tonight?
129
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:02,420
Oh, that sounds like fun.
130
00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:04,420
Great! It's a date.
131
00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:05,460
Okay.
132
00:05:05,459 --> 00:05:06,919
Hey, Randy, come here.
Guess what.
133
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,500
So, your mom and Arthur are
gonna watch the Hawks game
134
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,580
tonight at Flannigan's.
135
00:05:09,579 --> 00:05:11,499
Seriously?
136
00:05:09,579 --> 00:05:11,499
Yeah.
137
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:14,210
That's incredible.
I get a night alone.
138
00:05:14,209 --> 00:05:15,669
In my pajamas.
139
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:16,710
(chuckles)
140
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:18,459
Drinking a bottle of wine.
141
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:18,459
Mm-hmm.
142
00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:20,919
Maybe two.
143
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,620
Maybe no pajamas.
144
00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:26,120
You add in some Drake
and a couple weed lollipops,
145
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,040
and you just described my
night with Nadine, yeah.
146
00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:35,380
Well, the plot thickens.
147
00:05:35,379 --> 00:05:37,619
Look what else I found
in Tush's pocket.
148
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,670
A book of matches from
the Palmer House Hotel.
149
00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:45,000
So... $600 from a lady.
Fancy hotel.
150
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,580
Conclusion: Tush is a gigolo.
151
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,000
Fawz, you are out of your mind.
152
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,580
I don't mean to body-shame,
but there is no way
153
00:05:54,579 --> 00:05:56,829
that Tush is a gigolo.
154
00:05:56,829 --> 00:06:00,919
Yeah, he's more jiggly
than gigolo.
155
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,670
We all know he is not shy
about his gigs.
156
00:06:03,670 --> 00:06:08,750
The man modeled adult diapers
and bragged about it.
157
00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,920
What could be so embarrassing
that he would
158
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,120
keep it from his friends?
159
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,080
You really need to stop prying.
160
00:06:14,079 --> 00:06:16,379
With an attitude like that,
I have half a mind
161
00:06:16,379 --> 00:06:17,579
to take you off this case.
162
00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:22,119
Arthur, aren't you
meeting Helen soon?
163
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,080
Yeah, in 20 minutes.
164
00:06:23,079 --> 00:06:24,169
Well, shouldn't
you get dressed?
165
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:25,790
I am dressed. I'm fine.
166
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,580
(chuckles) No, you look
like a Jewish scarecrow.
167
00:06:27,579 --> 00:06:29,169
Hmm?
168
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:31,170
Or like a two-star
Uber driver.
169
00:06:31,170 --> 00:06:32,960
I get it, I get it,
I get it.
170
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,959
Well, I'm just saying,
man, I just want you to
look nice for your date.
171
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,749
No. Date? No.
172
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:39,330
Helen's an old friend of mine,
you can't call this a date.
173
00:06:39,329 --> 00:06:40,999
All right, well, let me
ask you something:
174
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,330
you gonna pick her up?
175
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,330
Sure.
176
00:06:42,329 --> 00:06:43,919
You gonna hold
the door for her?
177
00:06:42,329 --> 00:06:43,919
Of course.
178
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,750
Will you pay for dinner?
179
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,750
Oh, my God, it's a date.
180
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,330
Listen, I can't go on a date
looking like this.
181
00:06:49,329 --> 00:06:51,539
Yeah.
182
00:06:49,329 --> 00:06:51,539
Can you help me
pick out an outfit?
183
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:53,290
Yeah! Yeah, all right,
sure.
184
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,290
Okay, that's great.
185
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,170
(clicks)
186
00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:08,380
Did he just lock us in?
187
00:07:08,379 --> 00:07:09,879
Let's make a pact:
188
00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:12,619
if things go south,
we eat that guy first.
189
00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:18,749
I haven't dated
in 50 years.
190
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,620
So what am I supposed to do?
Come on, help me.
191
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:22,120
I got you.
192
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,620
Oh, my God, why do you have
so many visors, man?
193
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,880
Are you an old Korean lady?
194
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,829
Come on, I'm so nervous.
(chuckles)
195
00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:32,119
I'm sweating in places
I didn't powder this morning.
196
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,000
Look, uh, maybe it's a bad idea.
197
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,540
Arthur, this is gonna
be great. All right?
198
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,790
And I saw you checking out Helen
199
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:39,880
when she was walking out
the door.
200
00:07:39,879 --> 00:07:41,539
I was admiring her scarf.
201
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,119
Okay, I was looking at her butt.
202
00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,420
Look, it's Helen and me.
I mean, this is weird.
203
00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:49,380
I was best man at her wedding.
204
00:07:49,379 --> 00:07:51,999
Is that where
you wore this?
205
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,880
Or were you a pallbearer
at Papa Smurf's funeral?
206
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,669
Come on, Arthur.
207
00:07:57,670 --> 00:07:59,080
Don't you think
it'd be good for you
208
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,379
to have a lady in your life?
209
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,749
Yes, I guess so, yeah.
210
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,120
Oh, hey.
211
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,500
How about this?
212
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:13,210
Hmm. Part Sam Jackson,
part Pepe Le Pew.
213
00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:15,289
I can work with this.
214
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:21,080
All right, my bad.
215
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:22,789
Just gonna grab my phone
and we can bounce.
216
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:26,120
Uh, so, how did you leave your
phone in your boss' bedroom?
217
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,040
Well, it ain't like that.
I put it down when I was
218
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,620
helping him squeeze
into a pair of pants.
219
00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:33,119
That wasn't any better.
220
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,960
All right. Mwah.
I'll be right back.
221
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,540
(Franco screams)
222
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:42,790
Hey!
223
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:46,169
What the hell, kid?
224
00:08:46,169 --> 00:08:47,919
Came here to get my phone!
225
00:08:47,919 --> 00:08:50,039
Oh! That was your phone?
226
00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:51,959
You might want
to delete the photos.
227
00:09:00,669 --> 00:09:01,959
(knocks on door)
228
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,420
You don't have to knock.
229
00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:05,379
FRANCO:
Yes, I do.
230
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:09,459
Oh, come on, please,
you hardly saw anything.
231
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,460
Mm-hmm. You got a birthmark
on your back
232
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:13,670
in the shape of Florida.
233
00:09:13,669 --> 00:09:16,499
Okay, you saw everything.
234
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,120
Yo, so what happened
last night?
235
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,750
I thought y'all were just
hanging out at Flannigan's.
236
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,420
Yeah, we-- well, we were
having a couple of drinks
237
00:09:21,419 --> 00:09:23,249
and, uh, talking
about old times.
238
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:25,460
And then I asked her back
for a nightcap.
239
00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:26,880
Next thing I knew,
we were spooning
240
00:09:26,879 --> 00:09:28,249
on top of the heating pad.
241
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,120
(laughs)
Good for you!
242
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,250
Yeah! Well, it was
kind of nice.
243
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:33,710
All right, so what happens next,
50 Shades of Gray?
244
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:36,120
(chuckles)
245
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,420
When are you gonna
see her again?
246
00:09:37,419 --> 00:09:38,749
(stammers)
I'd like to.
247
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,420
But, you know, I haven't dated
in so many years.
248
00:09:40,419 --> 00:09:41,789
You know, wha-what I am
supposed to do, huh?
249
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,539
Call her? Send her flowers?
250
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,329
No, man, just send her a text!
251
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:46,580
Really? Oh, okay.
252
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:46,580
Yeah.
253
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:50,040
Just send a... a text.
(chuckles)
254
00:09:50,039 --> 00:09:52,119
Okay, so what do I,
what do I say?
255
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,040
Um, something flirty
but noncommittal.
256
00:09:54,039 --> 00:09:55,539
Like, "Hey, what you doin'?"
257
00:09:55,539 --> 00:09:58,539
Which can be interpreted as,
"Hey, what you doin'?"
258
00:09:58,539 --> 00:10:00,249
Or like you're doing something
nasty, like
259
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:02,380
(deep voice):
"Hey, what you doin'?"
260
00:10:02,379 --> 00:10:03,379
What next?
261
00:10:03,379 --> 00:10:05,539
Um, "You had fun last night?
Let's chill again."
262
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,539
Ooh.
263
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,539
Eggplant emoji.
264
00:10:10,169 --> 00:10:11,959
Just do it, just do it.
Yeah, yeah.
265
00:10:10,169 --> 00:10:11,959
Okay.
266
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,620
Now send! Yep! There we go.
267
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:16,040
That sounds perfect.
268
00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:17,419
(phone chimes)
269
00:10:17,419 --> 00:10:19,919
Except you just sent it to me.
270
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:23,499
Give me your phone.
271
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:23,499
Ah.
272
00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:27,619
Look at this, it's been
a couple of hours,
273
00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:28,880
she hasn't even responded.
274
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:31,419
Give her some time.
Maybe she can't work a phone.
275
00:10:31,419 --> 00:10:32,539
We've texted before.
276
00:10:32,539 --> 00:10:33,959
Maybe I should've called her.
277
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,170
Hmm? I don't come across
in a text.
278
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,379
(in deep voice):
All my sexy is in my voice.
279
00:10:39,379 --> 00:10:41,539
(sighs)
What a night.
280
00:10:41,539 --> 00:10:44,249
I had five wonderful hours
without my mother.
281
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:47,960
Which should add about
three months to my life.
282
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,420
Well, lucky for you, you might
283
00:10:50,419 --> 00:10:53,119
be having some more
mom-free nights.
284
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,460
What are you talking about?
285
00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:55,750
Oh, you don't know?
Well, apparently,
286
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,460
your mom and Arthur's
hockey date
287
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,460
went into overtime.
288
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,500
Huh?
289
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,620
He shot, he scored.
290
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,750
Oh, my God.
291
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,750
Uh-huh.
292
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,750
My mother?
293
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,750
Uh-huh.
294
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,920
And Arthur?
295
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,920
Uh-huh!
296
00:11:13,289 --> 00:11:14,959
Oh, hey, Randy...
297
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,460
Hi, Arthur.
298
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:19,170
Heard that you and my mom
had a fun night.
299
00:11:19,169 --> 00:11:20,749
Ah, uh, oh. Yeah, listen,
300
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:23,000
I know this is kind of
weird for you, but...
301
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,420
No. Actually, it's not weird.
302
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,379
I-I'm okay with it,
I-I'm happy for you.
303
00:11:29,379 --> 00:11:32,459
Oh, really? Well, okay,
all right. Thank you.
304
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,170
Yeah. It's actually
pretty exciting.
305
00:11:34,169 --> 00:11:35,999
Means I might be
getting a new dad.
306
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,420
Oh, come on. Very funny.
307
00:11:38,419 --> 00:11:39,709
Yeah, maybe this weekend
we could watch Frozen.
308
00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:41,790
Oh, all right, all
right, all right.
309
00:11:41,789 --> 00:11:44,329
I'm gonna go meet Mom
to do some more shopping.
310
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,420
Oh! Speaking of shopping.
311
00:11:46,419 --> 00:11:49,249
For Christmas
I'd really like a pony.
312
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,750
Oh, get out of here.
313
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:52,210
(Franco laughs)
314
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,330
(phone chimes)
315
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,330
Ooh, that's a text.
316
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:54,620
It's in my back pocket.
317
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:55,790
Okay.
318
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:55,790
Yeah.
319
00:11:55,789 --> 00:11:57,209
I'm, I-I'm all glazed up.
320
00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:58,580
It's all good. Oh!
321
00:11:58,580 --> 00:11:59,960
It's from Helen.
322
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,920
Ah, ah, ah.
323
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,920
Yeah.
324
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,459
"Dear Arthur.
325
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,120
"Thank you for the texts.
326
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,250
The game was fun last night."
327
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:08,290
Oh.
328
00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:10,459
Ooh...
329
00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:10,459
(phone chimes)
330
00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,420
"But I don't think
hanging out is a good idea."
331
00:12:12,419 --> 00:12:13,669
(phone chimes)
332
00:12:13,669 --> 00:12:15,419
"Last night was a mistake."
333
00:12:15,419 --> 00:12:17,249
(phone chimes)
334
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,380
"Sincerely yours, Helen DeLuca."
335
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:23,419
(phone chimes)
336
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:23,419
Enough dings.
337
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,459
Oh, no, this is from
your cell phone provider.
338
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:28,040
Uh, you used up
all your texts for the month.
339
00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:36,290
Ugh. I'm worried about Tush.
340
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,579
Don't believe Pretty Woman.
341
00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:40,750
Not every customer
is Richard Gere.
342
00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:43,080
You really think
he's a prostitute?
343
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,420
Shh! Here he comes.
344
00:12:44,419 --> 00:12:46,999
Don't say "sex."
345
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,500
Afternoon.
346
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,580
Morning.
347
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,580
Intercourse.
348
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:56,580
Tush, we have
a brochure for you.
349
00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:59,750
It's called
"Getting Out of the Game."
350
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:01,540
Game?
What are you talking about?
351
00:13:01,539 --> 00:13:05,379
You know.
How you put on the red light?
352
00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:07,039
You think I'm a prostitute?
353
00:13:07,039 --> 00:13:09,119
How else could you earn
such a big check?
354
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,580
It is the only explanation.
355
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,460
It's from my ex-wife.
356
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,960
Except for that.
357
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,670
That's who
Elizabeth Miller is?
358
00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,669
Formerly Liz Tushinski.
359
00:13:19,669 --> 00:13:21,499
She pays me alimony.
360
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,620
We got divorced
after I lost my job,
361
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:25,830
and she was making
a lot more money than me.
362
00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:28,290
So, then, why have you not
cashed the check?
363
00:13:28,289 --> 00:13:30,959
'Cause it's the last one.
364
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,380
It's the only thing
that ties us together.
365
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:38,499
When this goes in the bank,
she's out of my life forever.
366
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,250
(exhales)
367
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,670
I am so sorry, you know.
368
00:13:42,669 --> 00:13:44,079
Being in the
dry-cleaning business,
369
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,580
there just is not
a lot of excitement,
370
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:50,500
so sometimes my imagination
just runs wild.
371
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,540
It's okay. I guess...
372
00:13:52,539 --> 00:13:56,289
I've just had a real hard time
admitting it's over.
373
00:13:56,289 --> 00:13:58,619
You know,
maybe I should just move on.
374
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,330
My friend.
375
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:03,750
How about you and
I go to the bank
376
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:06,040
and cash that check together?
377
00:14:06,039 --> 00:14:07,249
(chuckles)
378
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,040
I'd like that.
379
00:14:14,539 --> 00:14:16,749
Uh, Fawz.
380
00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:18,500
Oh, yes.
381
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:22,540
Uh, holding hands is a sign
of kinship in my country.
382
00:14:22,539 --> 00:14:24,459
Oh. That's, that's beautiful.
383
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,750
Yeah.
384
00:14:29,539 --> 00:14:32,579
So, uh, who,
who lets go first?
385
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,830
Traditionally, it's the man
who's more subservient.
386
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,620
(clears throat)
Huh.
387
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:47,040
I wish I'd known that
before we started this.
388
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:49,619
Arthur, what are you doing?
389
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:50,830
We're already
fully stocked on those.
390
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:53,790
I know. These are for me.
391
00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:55,959
Hey, uh, there's a Blackhawks
game tonight.
392
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,250
Y-You trying to watch it?
393
00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:58,380
I'll make hot chocolate.
394
00:14:58,379 --> 00:15:00,579
No, thanks.
395
00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:02,330
He can eat all he wants,
396
00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:06,790
but those donut holes will never
fill the one inside his heart.
397
00:15:06,789 --> 00:15:08,789
Man, I can't believe that lady.
398
00:15:08,789 --> 00:15:10,289
Breaking up by text?
399
00:15:10,289 --> 00:15:11,619
You don't do that
to my boy Arthur.
400
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:12,790
They're old friends.
401
00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:14,709
Maybe they'll work it out.
402
00:15:14,710 --> 00:15:16,830
Oh. Oh, they definitely
gonna work it out.
403
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,210
'Cause you know what?
404
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:19,670
She might have a problem
being direct,
405
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,919
but I don't.
406
00:15:23,669 --> 00:15:27,249
Okay. Well, I have a meeting.
407
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:32,460
Well, I'm not letting go.
408
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:35,580
Well, I'm not letting go.
409
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,120
I have to shower
before the meeting.
410
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,620
I like it hot.
411
00:15:52,289 --> 00:15:53,459
Hey, Ma.
412
00:15:52,289 --> 00:15:53,459
Yeah.
413
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:54,670
Check out
these winter coats.
414
00:15:54,669 --> 00:15:56,579
Ugh.
415
00:15:54,669 --> 00:15:56,579
You might need
one of these if you're gonna
416
00:15:56,580 --> 00:16:02,040
spend more time in Chicago
with a certain donut Don Juan.
417
00:16:02,039 --> 00:16:04,789
Can we just let go of this?
418
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,579
Here, take this sticker.
419
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:09,670
Put it on the pink bag,
I'll get another 20% off.
420
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,579
Come on, come on.
421
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,579
Mom, no.
422
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:12,880
There you go.
423
00:16:12,879 --> 00:16:14,539
Hey, Franco.
What are you doing here?
424
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:16,079
I'm here to talk to your mother.
425
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,710
Yo, can you stop following me?
426
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,210
If I wanted to steal
from a store, I'd go to a place
427
00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:20,790
I couldn't afford.
428
00:16:20,789 --> 00:16:25,209
So you're just gonna ghost
my friend like that?
429
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:26,620
"Ghost"?
430
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:26,620
Mm-hmm.
431
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,960
Is that slang for sex?
432
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,960
No. It's when you dump
somebody by text
433
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,960
and you disappear
like nothing ever happened.
434
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,420
Oh. Then, yes, I ghosted him.
435
00:16:35,419 --> 00:16:37,119
Wait a minute.
436
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,210
You dumped Arthur?
437
00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:40,460
In a text?
438
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,170
Well, I didn't mean to hurt him.
439
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,789
I just... well,
I didn't know what else to do.
440
00:16:44,789 --> 00:16:47,459
It was the first time that I had
a feeling for another man,
441
00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:50,330
and I... I-I just began
442
00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:51,540
to feel weird.
443
00:16:51,539 --> 00:16:54,379
'Cause it wasn't Dad?
444
00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:56,419
I know he's not here anymore,
445
00:16:56,419 --> 00:16:59,539
but I, I still feel
like it's cheating.
446
00:16:59,539 --> 00:17:00,749
Yeah.
447
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:02,290
I get it.
448
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,579
But it happened.
449
00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:06,669
And Arthur is still
your friend.
450
00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:09,460
You really want
to leave it like this?
451
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,080
But I haven't been
to housewares yet,
452
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:14,619
and it's 60% off
everything Rachael Ray.
453
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:17,460
Fine.
454
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:19,830
Fine.
455
00:17:19,829 --> 00:17:21,539
See? I ain't steal nothing.
456
00:17:21,539 --> 00:17:23,579
But you might want to check out
that white lady over there.
457
00:17:23,579 --> 00:17:25,579
She got a George Foreman Grill
under her jacket!
458
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,210
What's up, Arthur?
459
00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:35,080
ARTHUR:
Oh, Helen.
460
00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:37,419
I didn't think
we'd see each other again.
461
00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:40,670
Well, I just wanted to say I was
sorry about the text thing.
462
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:42,580
Franco told me you were upset.
463
00:17:42,579 --> 00:17:43,959
Franco did what?
464
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,210
He said you were devastated.
465
00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:48,170
Well, anyway.
466
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:50,580
I just wanted to say
I was sorry,
467
00:17:50,579 --> 00:17:53,539
so I bought you
this windbreaker.
468
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:57,499
It's Pierre Cardin,
$80 value.
469
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,750
You know, kid, why are you
getting involved in this?
470
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,750
'Cause you were upset.
And eating donut holes
471
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,250
by the fistful, man.
I had to do something.
472
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,670
No, you didn't.
473
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,710
This is between Helen and me.
474
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:09,460
It's none of your damn business.
475
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,330
Franco just wanted to help.
476
00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:12,959
We worry about you both.
477
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,670
Why? We're adults.
478
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,330
Yeah, we are. Adults.
479
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,919
Yeah, but you're down
in Florida, all by yourself.
480
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,540
Yeah, and you have
nobody to watch
481
00:18:20,539 --> 00:18:21,709
the Hawks games with, so...
482
00:18:21,710 --> 00:18:23,880
We, we just don't
want you to be lonely.
483
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,580
(laughing):
Oh, I see.
484
00:18:25,579 --> 00:18:27,579
You don't want us
to be lonely, okay.
485
00:18:27,579 --> 00:18:29,879
Raise your hand if you
got lucky last night.
486
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,540
Damn.
487
00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:36,959
That's cold.
488
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,540
What we're saying is,
focus on your own lives.
489
00:18:38,539 --> 00:18:40,329
Franco, you got
this beautiful girl Nadine
490
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:41,459
who's crazy about you.
491
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:44,500
So why you all up in my grill?
492
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:45,670
Didn't I say that right?
493
00:18:45,670 --> 00:18:47,290
Yeah.
494
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,460
All right. Well,
495
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:50,830
if y'all say you're great,
496
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,579
then I guess we'll
just leave you alone?
497
00:18:52,579 --> 00:18:54,079
Thank you.
498
00:18:54,079 --> 00:18:57,579
Arthur, can we have somewhere
where we can talk?
499
00:18:57,579 --> 00:18:59,119
Yeah. Yeah.
500
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,829
I can't believe I just
got relationship advice
501
00:19:02,829 --> 00:19:05,709
from a 75-year-old man.
502
00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:11,500
Yeah, and I can't believe my
mom's having more sex than I am.
503
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:14,620
You know, Franco is right,
I owe you an explanation.
504
00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:16,459
Arthur, I panicked.
505
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,460
All these complicated
emotions came up,
506
00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:20,750
and I...
(chuckles)
507
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,830
We have such a, a long,
shared history.
508
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:27,669
(sighs)
You know, Leo.
509
00:19:27,670 --> 00:19:30,210
Yeah. Well, Joanie.
510
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,210
Well, they're sure dead.
511
00:19:36,539 --> 00:19:38,329
And we're not.
512
00:19:38,329 --> 00:19:41,039
No, we certainly weren't
last night.
513
00:19:41,039 --> 00:19:44,579
We gave that memory foam
a lot to remember.
514
00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:50,379
That's good.
515
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:51,750
Hey, can I at least
give you a hug?
516
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,540
Or will that drive you mad
with desire
517
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:55,709
and lead to multiple
health code violations?
518
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:56,710
(laughs)
Yes.
519
00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:59,120
Okay.
520
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:00,919
For the love of God!
521
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,210
Put a sock on the door.
522
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,460
ARTHUR: Hey, hey.
What the hell, kid?
523
00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:14,210
You're not checking up on me,
are you?
524
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,120
No, I'm not.
525
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:17,879
Hi, Nadine. He's not checking up
on me, is he?
526
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,830
A little.
527
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,830
Wha-- no.
528
00:20:19,829 --> 00:20:21,329
I'm just... I just came
to pick up my paycheck,
529
00:20:21,329 --> 00:20:23,499
so I can take my girl out
for dinner and drinks.
530
00:20:24,539 --> 00:20:26,829
Maybe just drinks.
531
00:20:26,829 --> 00:20:28,249
Hey, listen! Uh, uh...
532
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,120
Look, I'm sorry
I snapped at you yesterday.
533
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:32,919
It's cool.
534
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,620
No, no, I'm, I'm just...
I'm just glad that you, uh,
535
00:20:34,619 --> 00:20:36,119
pushed me to go dating again,
536
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,079
because I think I'm ready
to go out there now.
537
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:39,079
Seriously?
538
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:39,079
Yeah.
539
00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:40,999
Word? All right.
540
00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:40,999
Yeah.
541
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,460
I signed up for this,
uh, new dating app.
542
00:20:42,460 --> 00:20:43,790
It shows all the singles
in your area.
543
00:20:43,789 --> 00:20:45,879
Uh-huh.
544
00:20:43,789 --> 00:20:45,879
But so far, it's only guys.
545
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,459
Hey, Arthur, you,
you on Grindr right now.
546
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:53,000
Huh? Why? What's that?
547
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:53,000
It's...
548
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,460
No, no. Go, go on
your date. Go ahead.
549
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,460
You're sure?
550
00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:57,880
Yeah, I'm sure this guy can
explain it to me over coffee.
551
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,880
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
552
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,250
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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